Parenting in the Pines

BY AMANDA ODEN

SMACK DAB IN THE MIDDLE OF SEPTEMBER, my oldest child and only daughter, Bowie, decided to make her grand entrance into the world. She was a week past her due date, which to be honest was only the beginning of her doing things unapologetically on her own timeline.

A prime example: When Bowie turned 2 we began potty training her. I had recently found out we were expecting another baby and the thought of doubling our diaper budget each month made me especially insistent we graduate to undies. I bought the snazziest training potty I could find. One that had a ridiculous little handle and made flushing noises, because to this first-time mom that seemed super important. I read a ton of parenting blogs. We watched Elmo Potty Time at least a hundred times. I spent so much time sitting on the floor of our bathroom while she perched on her tiny commode that I seriously thought I might lose my mind.

I bribed, I begged, and at one point I even cried. But after a year of attempted potty training with zero interest from Bowie, I gave up. I figured once she outgrew all the baby and toddler diapers, we could just put her in Depends

and I resigned myself to a lifetime of diaper duty. The week after I threw in the towel on potty training, Bowie turned 3. And I kid you not, the day after her third birthday the child woke up and said, “I want to pee on the big potty.” Then she walked in the bathroom, pushed her training potty out of the way, hoisted herself on the boring old grown-up toilet, and I swear to Beyonce, she hasn’t worn a diaper or had a single accident since!

Ditto with refusing her afternoon nap, being weaned from breastfeeding, sleeping through the night in her own bed and putting her shoes on when I ask. She’s difficult and stubborn and then

I was sad she felt she was missing out and worried she might somehow fall behind, but was secretly kind of happy to have one more year with her at home every day.

This year, though, it’s the real deal and she’s actually going to kindergarten! We just got Bowie’s school supply list and I was excited to take her school shopping. Bowie will be attending a private school and the uniform dress code is pretty strict. They do this, presumably, because it’s less distracting for the students and supposedly easier for the parents. The only thing is, Bowie hates being told what to wear. The child has a style all her own and has never

I figured once she outgrew all the baby and toddler diapers, we could just put her in Depends and I resigned myself to a lifetime of diaper duty. The week after I threw in the towel on potty training, Bowie turned 3. And I kid you not, the day after her third birthday ...

suddenly, when she’s ready, and not a second before, she’s an easygoing delight. It’s amazing, albeit a bit scary sometimes!

This year my tiny tyrant is starting kindergarten and I am a bit beside myself. We had enrolled her in pre-K just before her 4th birthday and then the Covid-19 pandemic threw a wrench in that plan. Then the following year we tried to enroll her in kindergarten only to find out, because of her mid-September birthday, she was not eligible to enroll in kindergarten, missing the enrollment cutoff by just seven days. Bowie was pretty upset to be missing out on another year of school and it probably wasn’t helpful to mention that if she had just been born on her actual due date, and not seven days overdue, she would have just made the enrollment deadline. seen a sequin she didn’t like.

The resistance started with shoes. Dress code called for entirely white or black athletic shoes. She wanted pink light-up shoes and pouted at the plain white sneakers we had to select. After shoes were socks. I thought she’d be most comfortable in ankle socks, but Bowie insisted on knee-highs and didn’t care that it would still be 90 degrees out when school starts. She requested a lunch box shaped like a donut with big googly eyes. It didn’t look big enough to hold more than a bag of chips and certainly wouldn’t fit a bento box and water bottle. I made her go with something a bit more functional and I was sad to see her scowling at me from across the aisle.

Truthfully, neither of us was having a good time. I didn’t want to be the fun police and would have rather got her all the stuff she wanted because I love watching her express herself. But rules are rules and this dress code and supply list seem pretty specific. I don’t want to set her up for failure on her first day.

Last was a backpack. I suggested something sturdy and classic. One she could use for a few years. Bowie immediately gravitated to a rainbow sparkle backpack covered in sequins and unicorns.

“Please mom, can I get this one?”

It was quite possibly the busiest looking backpack I’d ever seen, but I could tell by the way she was clutching

it that she really loved it. I frantically scrolled the school supply list and did not see A SINGLE RULE about her backpack!

“Sure baby, if you really love it, put it in the cart ….”

On the way home from the store Bowie insisted on holding her new backpack in her lap for the entire ride.

“You know, mom,” she said, “I love this backpack sooo much! I really didn’t think you were going to let me get it. You said no about every other thing I picked out.”

Sometimes, I suppose, I too can be difficult and stubborn and then suddenly, when I’m ready and not a second before, I can be an easygoing delight. SP