PARENTS, IT’S TIME TO PARTY!

As we settle into summer, most of the season’s holidays are history.

But one Hallmark holiday awaits: Parents’ Day.

In 1994, President Clinton signed a congressional resolution into law pronouncing Parents’ Day the fourth Sunday of July. The day commemorating parents celebrates the tough yet rewarding job of childrearing.

When I perched on the precipice of parenthood, I had no idea what kind of parent I’d become.

Yet, a 1960s developmental psychologist predicted I’d adopt one of the following four parenting styles.

Authoritative parenting is often considered the gold standard. Parents set clear and consistent boundaries and communicate consequences, while also encouraging a child’s independence.

Permissive parents are more likely to take on a friendship role, preferring to avoid conflict and allow a child to make their own choices. These parents are nurturing and rarely impose punishments or consequences.

Authoritarian parenting relies on rigid rules, high standards and punishment to govern a child’s behavior. Parents seek to exert control over their children and are

BY MYLES MELLOR

LAST WEEK’S SOLUTION:

Each Sudoku puzzle consists of a 9x9 grid that has been subdivided into nine smaller grids of 3x3 squares. To solve the puzzle, each row, column and box must contain each of the numbers 1 to 9. Puzzles come in three grades: easy, medium and difficult. Level: Medium fond of the phrase, “Because I said so.”

Neglectful parents fulfill a child’s basic needs, but then have limited engagement with their child (either willfully or unintentionally).

A lot has changed in 60 years, and now experts recognize numerous parenting approaches.

Today’s newer styles are somewhat aligned with the four basic parenting benchmarks, but they come with catchy pop-culture labels.

Two of today’s most prominent parenting buzzwords are “helicopter” and “bulldozer.”

In 1990, the term helicopter parent was popularized by academic administrators to describe overprotective parents who “hover” over their child, overseeing all aspects of their life.

Years ago, I attended admitted students’ day at my older son’s college. I remember administrators informing parents we weren’t allowed access to our student’s grades.

I sat stunned, but silent. Other parents argued that since they’re paying tuition, they had a right to know their student’s grades.

Colleges can’t stand us.

While helicopter parents hover, the

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Sudoku- medium- by Myles Mellor

BY SHELLEY MURPHY

bulldozer/snowplow/ lawnmower parents are more aggressive, vigilant, and smash through every obstacle in a child’s way to pave a smooth path for their success, especially in academics. Remember the 2019 College Admissions Scandal?

While the average bulldozer parent probably doesn’t commit fraud or bribery, many go to great lengths to prevent their child from facing any adversity, struggle, or failure.

A kinder trend is “koala” parenting. It’s akin to attachment parenting and promotes physical closeness from birth and throughout childhood—like koala mamas protecting their young in their pouches.

These parents keep manufacturers of chest-worn baby carriers in business.

“We” parents talk about their child’s pursuits as their own, blurring the line between being the parent and the participant.

We parents are quick to reveal themselves in conversation: “We have college applications to complete, and we’ve been burning the midnight oil.” Or, “We’re trying out for the football team!”

In 2008, New Yorker Lenore Skenazy became “the world’s worst mom” after she wrote an article about letting her 9-year-old son find his own way home on the subway.

She coined the term “free-range parenting” after the incident and believes kids can and should take care of themselves— at times, sans a parent’s watchful eye. Free-range parenting gives kids greater independence but with expectations— and hopefully a map.

The term “tiger parent” came from Amy Chua’s memoir and introduced the parenting phenomenon common in Chinese culture.

A tiger parent is strict and drives their child to succeed and achieve academic and extracurricular success.

A tiger parent believes in tough love, but not in television, video games, playdates, and sleepovers.

While psychologists may try to pigeonhole parents by categorizing them into specific child-rearing styles, the reality is, there’s no best way to parent a child. We are all doing the best we can.

Whatever your parenting path, celebrate the day—I’m sure you’ve earned it. I know I have.

For more than 20 years, Shelley Murphy and her husband have lived in San Clemente, where she raised her two sons. She’s a freelance writer and has been a contributor to Picket Fence Media since 2006. SC

PLEASE NOTE: In an effort to provide our readers with a wide variety of opinions from our community, the SC Times provides Guest Opinion opportunities in which selected columnists’ opinions are shared. The opinions expressed in these columns are entirely those of the columnist alone and do not reflect those of the SC Times or Picket Fence Media. If you would like to respond to this column, please email us at editorial@sanclementetimes.com.

FROM THE ARCHIVES

Ole Hanson and some of his friends play a round of golf at the San Clemente Golf Club in this 1930s photo. This photo can be purchased from the San Clemente Historical Society at sanclementehistoricalsociety.org.

Every week, the San Clemente Times will showcase a historical photo from around the city. If you have a photo you would like to submit for consideration, send the photo, your name for credit as well as the date and location of the photo to sraymundo@picketfencemedia.com