If Memory Serves Forgetting Isn't Unusual

Short-term memory can sometimes be in disarray (who is that actor?) causing worry to creep in

During a recent (and these days rare) domestic social gathering, a friend asked for a piece of information that required me to consult the computer in my home office. When I returned to the living room, I realized that I'd left my glasses in my office. I made a U-turn, got distracted by something on my desktop screen, then returned to the gathering — again sans glasses. Frustrated, I made a third trip.

"Cannot believe I just did that," I said.

"Why not?" one of my friends responded. "I do it all the time." That was greeted by a round of knowing laughter. Despite the range in our ages, from late 50s to early 70s, all four of us are suffering memory slippages.

"Do you have that thing where you can't remember if you already saw a movie on TV?" I asked, hoping my bid for validation didn't sound too pathetic.

"All the time," another friend said. "I call it up, then realize a few minutes in that I've already seen it."

"How about not realizing you've seen it until about ten minutes from the end?" I said. Mostly sympathetic murmurs. One appalled gasp.

Whatever the degree of dysfunction, there's no getting around that it's happening to us, that aging thing where your short-term memory is in disarray, and you can't tell if it's a normal byproduct of aging or a precursor to something insidious.

My husband, who at 72 is six years older than I, thinks it's to be expected. My memory, he reassures, is just fine.

This, of course, is coming from a man who thinks it's normal for every TV viewing event to start with a sentence like, "Hey, isn't that the guy on, oh s***, what's the name of that show, you know, the one set in France, or wait, maybe it was Spain, anyway, you know the one where there's a burglary, or maybe it was a killing."

The miracle is that Bob and I almost always know which actor, and which show the other is speaking of. More amazing, we share certainty of where we've seen an actor — even when we're completely wrong. lot like Peter Krause.) We both smiled. A triumph over aging! That is, until I consulted Wikipedia and discovered that I'd mixed up my actors. Turns out the one I was looking for was the star of "Community." (Respectfully, I submit that Joel McHale looks a

Bob regards such memory blips as amusing and isn't the least bit concerned. Me, I worry that it might be evidence of early-stage Alzheimer's.

Recently we watched a film starring a guy who looked familiar. "We know that guy," I said, my usual bid to, please, fill in the blank.

"Yeah, we do," Bob responded, his usual way of signaling, I can't.

Me: "What have we seen him in?"

Bob: "Can't remember."

The next night, the same actor popped up in a comedy film. Halfway through, it came to me in a blinding flash.

Me: "That's the guy from 'Six Feet Under'!"

Bob (clearly impressed): "Sure. That's right." My daughter offers reassurance that isn't exactly reassuring. "Mom, your memory's always been bad."

She's right. I've been compensating for years. It started in my 30s when I began keeping a list of friends' and relatives' birthdays, so I'd remember to send a card. I refused to be deterred when one friend told me that my card "didn't count" because I didn't actually remember her birthday. (I stopped sending her cards after that. Oddly, her birthdate is now firmly lodged in my brain.)

In my 40s, I began leaving scribbled reminders around the house of things I needed to do. In my 50s, I kicked it up a notch, each night making a list of the next day's scheduled phone calls and appointments that I would keep on my desk all day to make sure I didn't forget anything.

Now in my 60s, I not only have a list, but I set the alarm on my phone app to beep ten minutes before a scheduled engagement. Never mind that sometimes

I then have to look at my list to see what exactly I'm being reminded to do. Bottom line: I get it done!

For the longest time, I blamed these memory lapses on menopause. But with such considerations well in the rearview mirror, newer concerns hover. Is this normal? Should I get tested? Would I believe the results, either way?

For me, the slippage, while frustrating, has not yet escalated to full-blown worry. My online canvas of early warning signs offered by the medical community all come up negative. I don't forget appointments and events. (Then again, I do make a hell of a lot of lists.) I don't have trouble focusing, planning, or making decisions. I suffer neither confusion nor unfamiliar moods.

Then, there are my own medically unsanctioned benchmarks. There are still days when my short-term memory glows with the sharpness of its younger self. Two days after fumbling for an actor's name or a movie title, it will suddenly appear, unbidden.

No less reassuring, there are my friends' battles with memory, friends whom I know to be mentally agile. One friend, for instance, recently missed a Zoom call that a group of us had rescheduled around his work demands. Come our 8:00 p.m. call time, he was AWOL.

"I am so sorry!" he emailed later. "[Work] tired me out so much that after eating an early dinner I fell asleep. I did not check my calendar."

Rather than stirring concern or aggravation, his words felt like a bountiful gift. Hey, he gets tired after a busy workday, too! And look, I'm not the only one who needs to consult written reminders!

As for his 8:00 p.m. bedtime, that left me feeling downright youthful. Me, I make it to 11:00. Well, most nights … if memory serves.

Jill Smolowe is the author of "Four Funerals and a Wedding: Resilience in a Time of Grief." To learn more about her book and her grief and divorce coaching, visit www.jillsmolowe.com.

The Jay and Susie Gogue Performing Arts Center at Auburn University is proud to present the Alabama premiere of Rodgers & Hammerstein’s Oklahoma! at the Woltosz Theatre— Tuesday, May 17, Wednesday, May 18 and Thursday, May 19 at 7:30 p.m. The performance is presented as part of the center’s 2021–22 Broadway series. The current Oklahoma! tour is the first North American tour of the Tony Awardwinning Broadway classic in more than 40 years.

Directed by Daniel Fish, this is Oklahoma! as you’ve never seen or heard it before, now

reimagined for the 21st century. Funny and sexy, provocative, and probing, this acclaimed production of Oklahoma! tells a story of a community banding together against an outsider, and the frontier life that shaped America. Upending the sunny romance of a farmer and a cowpoke, this Oklahoma! allows the musical to be seen in a whole new light.

Tickets are available for all three performances and can be purchased online at the www.goguecentertickets. auburn.edu, by phone at 334.844.TIXS (8497), and in person at the Gogue Center box office, located at 910 South College Street, Auburn, Alabama.

The Jay and Susie Gogue Performing Arts Center at Auburn University presents Broadway’s Anastasia at the Woltosz Theatre— Tuesday, May 31 and Wednesday, June 1. The performance is presented as part of the center’s 2021–21 Broadway series.

From the Tony Award-winning creators of the Broadway classic Ragtime and inspired by the beloved films, Anastasia is the new musical that’s been hailed as “one of the most gorgeous shows in years!” (New York Observer). The production transports viewers from the twilight of the Russian Empire to the euphoria of Paris in the 1920s, as a brave young woman, Anya, sets out to discover the mystery of her past. Pursued by a ruthless Soviet officer determined to silence her, she enlists the aid of a dashing conman and a lovable ex-aristocrat. Together, they embark on an epic adventure to help her find home, love and family.

With its opulent settings, dazzling costumes and a soaring score including favorites from the 1997 animated feature, Anastasia is the spectacular new musical about discovering who you are and who you’re meant to be.

Tickets are available for both performances and can be purchased online at goguecentertickets. auburn.edu, by telephone at 334.844.TIXS (8497), and in person at the Gogue Center box office, located at 910 South College Street, Auburn, Alabama.

When people think of retirement, they often envision the couple walking on the beach, sailing the sailboat, or playing golf. It is easy to picture the active part of retirement that is free of the stresses of work and career. However, with many retirees living as long as 30 years in retirement, the reality is that their retirement ends up having three phases: the go-go years, the slow-go years, and finally, the no-go years.

Most people do not think through advanced retirement, where they will live, and what it will cost in their 70’s, 80’s and 90’s. Housing is both a major financial asset on the balance sheet and a significant expense in the household budget. Housing may also be the largest expense component of retirement income; the time for planning is in advance of a major health event and before advanced age takes its toll. Where to live should be proactively thought through in advance of a health crisis, even if the intent is to “age in place” and remain in your home. Mobility limitations, a chronic illness or a catastrophic health crisis may give way to a housing move, reshape the bestlaid plans, and disrupt your financial preparedness.

Susan Moore of Moore Wealth Management, Inc. (MWM) in Montgomery, AL conducts a free workshop every year in May on planning for housing expense during retirement. Legg Mason produced the workshop, in conjunction with the Johns Hopkins School of Nursing. Attendees receive a comprehensive set of worksheets that help them evaluate whether it is financially feasible to “age in place” and stay in their home the rest of their lives. What renovations would be required for them to remain in the home in the event that they had mobility limitations? They also receive worksheets that enable them to compare and contrast other options, including independent living, assisted living, and skilled nursing facilities, as well as continuing care retirement communities (CCRCs) that offer the entire spectrum of choices in one place. The May 2020 workshop will be conducted in an online webinar format on Wednesday, May 25th at 12 p.m. Please call 334.270.1672, or email

for more information and reservations.

We conduct a variety of workshops and seminars at MWM. The mission

By Susan Clayton Moore, J.D.

Principal of Moore Wealth Management, Inc. statement of MWM is very simple: “and then some.” We attempt to do what is expected, what is required “and then some.” The Planning for Retirement workshop is part of our monthly “and then some” workshops. In addition, MWM conducts daily current events market updates that attempt to explain what is going on in the financial world. If you would like to be on the mailing list or receive email notifications of upcoming webinars, please call 334.270.1672, or email Sarah@moorewealthmanagement.com.

Susan Clayton Moore, J.D., is a financial advisor and wealth manager of Moore Wealth Management, Inc., with offices in Auburn, Montgomery, and Alexander City, AL. Susan has under advisement assets over $170 million (as of 1.21.2022) in brokerage and advisory assets through Kestra Financial and has been a financial planner for over 38 years. Contact Susan at 334.270.1672. Email contact is susan@moorewealthmanagement.com.

The opinions expressed in this commentary are those of the author and may not necessarily reflect those held by Kestra Investment Services, LLC or Kestra Advisory Services, LLC. This is for general information only and is not intended to provide specific investment advice or recommendations for any individual. It is suggested that you consult your financial professional, attorney or tax advisor regarding your individual situation.

Securities offered through Kestra Investment Services, LLC (Kestra IS), member FINRA/SIPC. Investment Advisory Services offered through Kestra Advisory Services, LLC (Kestra AS), an affiliate of Kestra IS. Kestra IS or Kestra AS are not affiliated with Moore Wealth Management, Inc.

Attendees receive a comprehensive set of worksheets that help them evaluate whether it is financially feasible to “age in place” and stay in their home the rest of their lives. They also receive worksheets that enable them to compare and contrast other options, including independent living, assisted living, and skilled nursing facilities, as well as continuing care retirement communities.

Paintings of renowned artist, Priscilla Crommelin, will be exhibited May 12-June 17 at Stonehenge Gallery in Montgomery, Alabama. The event is being organized by her daughter, Priscilla Crommelin Ball, and her granddaughter, Priscilla CrommelinMcMullan. Not only is this a rare opportunity to view Crommelin’s work, but now you will be able to own it as well.

Priscilla was born on the shortest day of the year-December 21, 1919. Her birthplace was Savannah, GA, where she was baptized at St. Paul's Protestant Episcopal Church. The day after Priscilla's Winter Solstice birth, her Aunt Julia Gunter, the wife of then Montgomery Mayor William Gunter, is reported to have said, "Priscilla was born, and the next day the sun shone longer." That observation proved true for a lifetime.

Priscilla's mother and father were Kathleen Ann Swain and Thomas Baytop Scott, of Scotia Plantation near Mount Meigs to which the family returned from Georgia while Priscilla was a little girl. It was explained to Priscilla as a child that she was a direct descendent of the 10th President of the United States, John Tyler, who was her great great grandfather. Her great grandmother (his daughter in law) was Priscilla Cooper Tyler, the First Lady of the United States of America, whom Priscilla was named after.

After a joyful Alabama childhood and youth that included ballet, schooling at Sidney Lanier High School and work for the Alabama Highway Department, Priscilla married U.S. Navy Lt. Quentin Claiborne Crommelin, the youngest of the famous Five Crommelin Brothers or "The Indestructibles" as they were known, on May 5, 1943. They remained in marriage for 54 years and she spent much of that time traveling the world as the wife of the legendary Naval aviator. When not traveling with her military husband, Priscilla further immersed herself into her paintings while waiting for him to return home. Crommelin's major strength as a painter lies in her natural identification with her region and her ability to recognize its full beauty, coloring it brightly with her love of home. This personal quality in her work makes it broadly appealing and, for a boldly regional talent, has garnered unusual national and international notice and indeed, acclaim.

Surrounded by beauty at her Toulouse Plantation River home where the Coosa and Tallapoosa become the Alabama, Priscilla Crommelin painted familiar scenes of fields, flowers, forests and towns with a unique treatment of color reflecting the vivid Mediterranean tones infused during twenty-eight years of seacoast travels with her naval aviator husband. Her subjects vary from the white sand beaches of Perdido Bay and the Victorian houses of Cottage Hill in Montgomery to the bewildering multitude of native flowers so abundant in the agrarian South. Intimate feelings for her home allowed her to paint from memory as she rendered scenes in a strong impressionistic style, manipulating her subject through color and abstraction to develop a powerful image. Elected as a member of l'Académie Cultural de France, she is one of very few contemporary Americans to have been chosen to have her works exhibited at the prestigious Grand Palais of the Salon d'Automne in Paris, France. Now, her paintings are found in numerous collections around the world including in Europe, Great Britain, and the Middle East. Applauded by critics in numerous French publications such as Paris Soir, Le Nouveau Journal, and Le Matin after exhibitions in 1979 and 1981 at Salon de Février and Cimaise de Paris, Crommelin was described by the Parisian press as "une artiste très consommée" whose presentations "nous montre les beaux paysage clairs, traités parfois à la manière de Cézanne." The style and

Priscilla with her husband Capt. Quentin quality of her work were Crommelin Sr. Aboard the USS Shasta, Circa 1963 consistently compared to

that of Cézanne. Not only did Crommelin receive this sort of praise, but she also won prizes in several dozen juried shows nationally and locally. quality to the undulating land, sky and trees..." James R. Nelson, The Birmingham News; "A Springtime of wide, golden sun rays..." Robert Barret, La Vie des Galleries, Panorama, Paris. During the National Bicentennial Celebration in 1976, Mrs. Crommelin co-chaired the Wetumpka Bicentennial Committee and, in connection with those activities, she was instrumental in the establishment, naming, and early development of Wetumpka's Gold Star Park and its surrounding Coosa Riverfront.

Naturally, she received much recognition at home as well with more than two dozen prizes in various regional and local art shows. She also had a solo exhibition at the Montgomery Museum of Fine Arts in 1985. Crommelin was even a juried exhibitor at the ArtExpo 89 in New York. She truly developed a notable reputation, a fact evidenced by her inclusion in the Blount American Collection in company with Mary Cassatt, Winslow Homer, Frederick Childe Hassam, and others of similar enduring quality. Her paintings appear in many corporate and government collections ranging from the Russell Senate Building in Washington DC to the State Capitol Building in Montgomery. Her art can also be found in the private collections of many prominent Alabamians and private international art collectors. The Alabama State Council on the Arts implicitly recognized her growing standing by selecting one of her paintings for reproduction as the cover of its 1987-1988 Biennial Report. Crommelin herself saw her art as "most at home with impressionism: its warm, joyful style allows me to express best my true feelings about my subject, whatever that subject may be-a landscape, a still life or even a person." Others have described Crommelin's work as: "A colorist's paradise with a rainbow of fresh flowers against a backdrop of sunbathed buildings.." Jeane E. Shaffer, The Montgomery Advertiser; "An almost fluid Crommelin was represented by Leon Loard Gallery in Montgomery, Alabama; The Atchison Gallery in Mountain Brook, Alabama; Galleria Alexander in Delray Beach, Florida; and Maralyn Wilson Gallery in Birmingham, Alabama, along with the various galleries abroad. From her youth, Priscilla was a parishioner and communicant at St. John's Episcopal Church in Montgomery and also frequently attended Trinity Episcopal Church in Wetumpka near her home. She supported and was active in promoting the goals of the Episcopal Prayer Book Society and was notably dedicated to the Christian ministry of Sav-A-Life. Mrs. Crommelin was a member of many national and local clubs and organizations in Montgomery and Wetumpka including The National Society of Colonial Dames of America, the Friends of the Fort, The Daughters of the American Revolution, and the Elmore County Community Foundation.

She was notably active in many arts organizations but was most passionate about ballet, with her daughter and granddaughter, both Priscilla, becoming Priscilla with her granddaughter, Priscilla Crommelin-McMullan, successful professional ballerinas around at Fort Toulouse the world. Now, her daughter, Priscilla Crommelin Ball, is the Founder and Artistic Director of the Alabama River Region Ballet. Her granddaughter, Priscilla CrommelinMcMullan, just moved back home from her international travels as a professional ballerina and model and is now the River Region Ballet's Youth Company Director and Artistic Advisor. Priscilla Cooper Scott Crommelin passed Priscilla with her husband Quentin at their Toulouse away in 2010, but Plantation home circa 1990 her legacy lives on to this day. She is cherished around the world for both who she was as a person and the incredible talent she displayed in her art. She was loved by everyone who knew her and now her spirit gracefully lives on through her paintings.

A portion of the proceeds will go to a non-profit organization for the arts.