BRING BACK THE "DUMB" PHONE!?

My opinion- the greatest BOOMer comedian was the late Norm MacDonald.

A phenomenal storyteller who died way too young, Norm once pointed out that not that long ago, people would have given you a funny look if you said, “let me grab my phone so I can take your picture”. Such things existed only in fiction. James Bond might have had such a phone back then. Now, we all do, and taking pictures is one of a phone’s thousand talents.

I think phones are getting too talented.

Shockingly, Gen Z (ZOOMers) is gravitating towards older phones or “dumb phones” as they’re called. This is a fascinating and heartening trend because Gen Z has discovered something.

From Counter Point Research- “The trend toward using “dumb phones” can be attributed in part to the rising awareness of the harmful effects of social media and digital devices on mental health. Research has revealed that excessive use of smartphones can cause anxiety, depression, and other mental health problems. As a result, many members of Generation Z are acknowledging the importance of a digital detox and are turning toward using basic phones as a viable solution”.

Digital detox. Makes sense. I think I could use one.

Simply put, the smart phone has become a bit overwhelming. It knows too much.

I remember when an Instant Message was something you wrote to your crush on notebook paper, folded and deftly handed them as you passed each other in a school hallway between classes. It took skill, imagination, and timing. There was an excitement to itanticipating visual contact with your target then eagerly waiting for a reply in kind. As opposed to texting, there was no instant gratification. When we were the same age as today’s Gen Z, we were told “all good things come to those who wait”. Who waits for anything anymore?

My phone camera is great. I use it frequently. However, there is something to be said for the old school roll-of-film era. You took the film to Walgreen’s. The next day you returned, opened the greatly anticipated packet of pictures, deliberately going through each photo. The “blurries” were discarded along with the photos of your captured spasmodic facial expressions. It was more expensive and far less convenient but wasn’t it kind of fun?

These digital miracles are costing us the joy of anticipation. What is there to look forward to when everything is available instantly?

All I’m saying is that Gen Z may be on to something.

My daughter (Millennial) recently took a great job in New Orleans. Her Mom and I met her there for lunch recently. Like a bolt of lightning, she made her mother and me aware we were ignoring her while staring at our phones. “That’s the thing with you BOOMers” she admonished with Master Snark. “Always with your head buried in your phones”! Busted! We laughed at her observation, not just because it was true, but it’s something many BOOMers accuse our successor generations of doing. She flipped the tables on us.

You know what I rarely use my phone for today? TALKING TO SOMEONE!

I’m so old I remember the telephone’s original and sole purpose! I’m not counting the phone in my radio studio. It’s a land line wired into a control board and it’s part of the job. For the most part I chat with people I never see or meet. It’s fun!

For some reason, I don’t like talking much on my iPhone. It’s just not fun anymore. I prefer to send messages. Again, I’ve lived through the phone’s many evolutions. I liked it better when you could see the mouthpiece.

I remember, fondly, the day I brought home a 20-foot chord so I could call my girlfriend from the privacy of the space between the washer and dryer in my parent’s basement.

I loved the sound of spinning the old dial phones. When the Push-button Princess came out, I was all for it as it changed the shape of the phone not to mention their color. Then came the Crappy Cordless era where one was not tethered to the phone by wire but bound by position because the audio quality was rarely reliable when one moved too far from the base.

In 1988 I got my first cell phone. It weighed a ton. Suddenly though, the rich and famous were not the only ones who could call from their car. While using it in the car was awkward and somewhat dangerous, I loved calling people from my car because I could.

I am no anthropologist, but I have a theory. Mankind has had the need to have our faces buried in something since prehistoric times. Cave newsmen and artists carved images into the stone wall. It brought cave tribes together. No doubt a cave freak created the first erotic images around that time. Ever since we’ve had our faces buried in scrolls, books, newspapers, and TVs.

The smart phone has become overwhelming. Everything is there.

BOOMers- we were blessed growing up in simpler times. I re-imagine my teenage years and wonder how the devices of today would have impacted me then. If I could not only talk to but see my girlfriend, or watched a ball game or a movie, and asked the phone (and gotten answers to) the questions required by my homework not to mention the temptation of seeking adult images, I might still be stuck between the washer and dryer in my parent’s basement.

Heck, just 10 years ago I was still using the flip phone the kids today are bringing back. Perhaps there’s something to be said for the “dumb” phone. Maybe it’s time to get a phone for calls only. I’ll go back to getting the news at 10 on TV and checking the scores in tomorrow morning’s paper. Once fun, Facebook has become a chore. When I need guidance or want to know what trends my peers are up to, I’ll find a good magazine that delivers the info I need.

Like this one!

Hat-tip Gen Z. I think I’ll bury my head in a BOOM!

(What are your thoughts on "The Bluewater Cafe"? If you have a comment on this column, email me at gregbudell@aol.com. It's still fun to hear from new people!)

Greg Budell lives in Montgomery with his wife, Roz, and dog, Brisco. He's been in radio since 1970, and has marked 17 years in the River Region. He hosts the Newstalk 93.1FM Morning Show with Rich Thomas and Jay Scott, 6-9 AM Monday - Friday. He returns weekday afternoons from 3-6 PM for Happy Hour with sidekick, Rosie Brock. Greg can be reached at gregbudell@aol.com www.RiverRegionBoom.com