26 I don't think that he believed I was serious until that moment. After that he seemed more open to the idea. A few days later he was telling me about a conversation he had with a very discouraged high school English teacher who has decided that the only hope he has of teaching any of his students anything is to work with them one-on-one. Then my husband said, "I'm beginning to agree with . you that Adam would be better off at ' home." ...
talked "teacher" to the class. She was freaked. ... She has learned what things to ignore, what things to rollover on and what things to battle. When she complains about some injustice I say, "Do you want my help?" and she refuses. She calmly informed the band instructor that she thought it irre sponsible for him to leave in the evenings after practice if there were girls still there. He said he wouldn't do it anymore! It's so lovely to have a 14 year-old daughter who is a friend ...
ANOTHER FATHER CHANGES MIND
From Terry Schultz (KY): ... When we started homeschooling three years ago, my husband felt it was a bit too much - too much risk, too much work. I set it up and got things going and did it all myself for the first year or so. Then I went to work and we split it pretty even ly. Now my schedule has changed again, and since April he has been doing all the "formal" schooling. The other day he commented that when we started this he wasn't convinced that it was a sane thing to do but now he can see how good it has been for the kids and for us as a family. He could see how differently our kids respond to new situations, adults, and life, because we've never put them in public schools or any school ... RETURN TO SCHOOL
From Janet Williams (PA): .. . Jen went back to to school full-time last September, ninth grade. She had no major problems adjusting. Over the summer she had taught herself Algebra I so could take Algeb ra II with her friends. In a class with students who had Algebra I for nine months (not two months like Jen did - and she only did four or five chapters of the book) she is in the top of her class - because she knows how to THINK and apply logic and see relationships. When she was younger she detested math and we avoided it as much as posible. Just enough doses so she could manage testing at school once a year. Now she's having fun with it. Art, her real gift, was hard because the class is number oriented: produce six projects in six weeks. The perfectionist gentle artist had some real problems adapting but she has developed a system of spending four weeks doing what she wants well, then slap-dash other projects for the teacher. In the process she has learned to organize and streamline techniques but to continue to do what is important to her. Phys. Ed. was rough. She has never been a physical person. Even as a baby she sat and studied the world - didn't walk until lS months. But she was determined to do better and PRACTICED certain sports at home. She commented several weeks ago that teachers talk differently to her than they do to other students. In the beginning of the year she said they looked at her funny because she spoke to them as if they were equals - both adults. Over the course of the school year, her teachers have come to talk to her like that. She told me about one day-when her history teach er was giving her an extra special assignment. One minute he talked nor mally to her, the next minute he
Her daughter Jenni wrote in che final PA UNSCHOOLERS NETWORK news letter: ... Going back to school held things in store I'd never thought about. There were the advantages I went back for: friends, male compan ionship, and an escape from boredom through a planned routine. There were also disadvantages, most of which I never expected. I figured I would find a problem with not being challenged enough, and in one or two classes that is true, but in most of my classes I've learned plenty and have a lot of fun. One problem I had no idea I was to face was people picking on me and calling me a "brownie." For some reason, people in school (mostly girls in my case) have something against people smarter than them selves. After a while I faded into the crowds, and wasn't picked on any more - at least not in a derogatory sense . Something that never even crossed my mind was the great pres sure put upon me by teachers. It seems that they thought since I'm somewhat above average mentally, I should perform WAY above average aca demically. Once in health class, my teacher asked if I had done an extra-credit project ... since only had a 93% in her class. The last problem I've faced is people trying to get answers from me. If a friend of mine hasn't studied for a test or hasn't done their home work, they say, "Oh, Jenni will have it." For a while I was in a jam about this, but I've decided that my friends are important, but what I think is right comes first. My friends accept that too, and if they didn't, they would not be very good friends. I've achieved everything I went back to school for, and I've overcome the problems that have drifted my way so far (though the problems aren't as easy to get over as mine sound like they were). I'm happy, but going back to school and being happy depends on what you expect and what kind of person you are ... LEAVING THEM HOME ALONE
From Carolyn Hardy (CA): 9/83: .•. Boy did I need to read your article Learning On Her Own (GWS #34). Due to circumstances beyond my control, it looked as though I would have to put Lisa back in school. I had nowhere for her to stay while I was in school. It was a horrible sum mer for me because the fall looked so bleak. I kept putting off enrolling her, but I did call the school to find out what we needed. That's as far as we ever got. She stayed home by herself and I worried I was doing
something wrong. (In the eyes of the law, I am.) Her attitude didn't help any either. Last year she knew her mother was bats because I took her out of school; until I showed her a copy of GWS and she saw she wasn't the only one and it was OK. But this year she thought I was completely certifiable because now she ~as also home alone. Her face lit up when I told her about this month's article. I guess mine did, too. It's nice not to be alone •.. 7/8S: ... Donna asked how it went when r-Teft the two girls alone. Some days it went all right and some days it didn't. I think their ages, then 7 and 3, were just too young to have that much time by themselves (about 3-S hours a day). On the whole, they did as well as most older children do; better than some daycare centers I've se~n. They still stay by them selves on occasion, and I feel very comfortable with it. They know how to screen phone calls, take messages, what to do in an emergency, etc. We've added a guard dog to our family of critters around here, so I feel even safer leaving the girls. They don't stay by themselves too often anymore, because I work at home now. I'm doing daycare and any office jobs (typing, stuffing envel opes, bookkeeping) I can do at home ... But I know they really enjoy their feeling of responsibility and being grown-up when I leave them in charge. The feeling of independence has really changed Lisa. She started a dog walking service last year, and this year revamped her prices and ser vices. She also has a paper route she's been doing for about three months. It has to be delivered in the middle of the night, and I'm the one who stays up to drive her. I'm not getting much sleep but I'm very proud of her and the job she's doing. She's the youngest carrier they have; 12 is the regular minimum age and she's 9. Every week she gets bonus points because she doesn't get any complaints ... MANY "LATCHKEY KIDS" ARE HAPPY
From the Washington Post, 2/1/84: Working Mother magazine ... pub lished the results of a nationwide survey on who takes care of children after school that offers a little good news to parents of children who take care of themselves. Most of the 709 children surveyed showed little or none of the fears, loneliness and boredom that have been reported in previous studies. Instead, the experi ence appears to help them develop their sense of self-reliance and responsibility. The survey included children 6 to 14 years of age, and it is signifi cant to note that most of them lived in suburban and rural areas, rather than cities. While most of the 6 and 7-year-olds surveyed were under some form of adult supervision, about a third of the 8- and 9- year-olds took care of themselves and more than half of the 10-year-olds did. Nearly 20% of the 8-year-olds were also taken care of by an older brother or sister. Most of the younger latchkey children spent only an hour or less alone. Of those in day-care arrange ments, a sizeable number said they would rather be home by themselves. Some 40% of the children responded that they never minded being alone,
GROWING WITHOUT SCHOOLING #47