RETHINK: DEFINE SUCCESS ON YOUR TERMS

Coming together to be encouraged, inspired and empowered at this year's Orlando Women's Conference — both live and virtual — attendees will hear from dozens of well-respected community leaders with a focus of getting back on track. Three of the keynote presenters include survivor, thriver and advocate RANIA ARWANI, accomplished author and life coach DR. KEITA JOY, and motivated visionary BARBARA POMA.

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Orlando Women’s Conference Luncheon Keynote Speaker DR. KEITA JOY, Life Coach and Consultant, CEO, Success Uncensored®️ Coaching

DR. KEITA JOY: I’ve learned the power of crazy faith to believe despite the obstacles that are in your life, that better days are still ahead. The audacity to hope has been my lifeline. With the passing of my father suddenly at a young age to sexual assault as a freshman in college to obtaining my doctorate while working fulltime and raising children, I always had a ridiculous belief in God and in my inner strength that gave me the will to conquer and live with joy and success! Lesson: miracles manifest first in the mind.

DKJ: Authenticity wins every time. Being a double minority (African American and a woman), I’ve always felt compelled to water down my brilliance to appease the insecurities of men or quiet my rich Black culture to comply with corporate culture that oftentimes is very white and male. As I began to fully show up in my brilliance in all spaces, my coaching and consulting business increased in revenue. Companies, teams and leaders desire real change and gravitate toward authentic living, because authentic living correlates with real solutions.

DKJ: Equity and empathy for Black women. I was fortunate in 2020, during the height of the pandemic, to release my first TED Talk. The topic was Mental Health is Declining and Black Women are Hit the Hardest. As a Black woman I’ve experienced racism, colorism, discrimination and lack of empathy. I am dedicated to being a part of the conversation and strategy to provide equitable health services, financial services and career services for Black women.

DKJ: Live by the Success Uncensored® Coaching’s formula for success is: Do YOU + Do it Well + Do it Consistently. This formula has helped Facebook employees and partners, NFL and NBA players, stay-at-home mothers, entrepreneurs, CEOs, and now you!

The hardest thing for people to do is to define success for themselves and unleash their greatest potential with clarity, discipline and joy. Challenges such as people pleasing, insecurities, fears and trauma make it difficult to live a fulfilled life.

Here’s what you can do to increase your peace and profit:

Do YOU — be authentic; know your values and belief system. Have a clear understanding of your personal and professional goals and desires. Know your strengths, talents and skills, and the best ways to apply them. Explore your purpose.

Do it Well — all things in excellence. Measuring tools to identify what excellence looks like in every area of your life.

Do it Consistently — How to remain resilient and motivated. Develop discipline.

DKJ: I remember what I thought I couldn’t see myself getting through in the past, and how eventually I did, which is my evidence

that I will overcome again. Perception is reality and if I believe it will be better then it will be because of the perspective I choose to have. The biggest wins take the biggest risks… like love. I want to be like Theodore Roosevelt and live in the ring… in the arena rather than be a critic (fearful person) in the stands.

DKJ: Oh, that’s a fave question — I wrote a book that all attendees will have access to purchase, Success Uncensored: A High Achiever’s Guide to Define Success on Your Own Terms. Success is liberating because it is a personal mission statement for each individual to define for themselves based on these qualifiers: season of life, priorities, and desires.

DKJ: Just one? LOL. When I resigned from my career as a school counselor to start my coaching and consulting business, I was terrified. My teacher community thought I was insane for leaving my comfortable job as a counselor with benefits and direct deposit and summers off, but when I heard that statement, I knew why I was leaving: I chose calling over comfortability. I lacked capital but I never lacked faith and strategy. This was the moment I said YES to living! What if I fell… oh, but what if I flew?

DKJ: Success Uncensored® Coaching will be a full-service agency with several life and business coaches available for corporate and athletic teams globally. I look forward to having a TV platform to intentionally spread, joy, wisdom and laughter. I desire to grow closer to God, discover new aspects of myself, love my husband and kids deeper, and travel more. Dr. Joy and Success Uncensored® Coaching will be a household name.

Orlando Women’s Conference Opening Keynote Speaker RANIA ARWANI, Family Law Attorney, Arwani Law Firm

RANIA ARWANI: There are no mistakes in life; there are only powerful lessons which serve to elevate us if we are willing to seize that opportunity. No matter how difficult a situation may be, we can find guidance within each challenge presented that can offer more meaning, depth, and understanding to our lives. Without adversity we cannot grow. Without the ability to overcome hardship our lives would be stagnant, and we would not develop into compassionate individuals who are more open to listen. By shifting our perception of adversity away from something dreaded and fearful, we can approach each obstacle as an opportunity for growth. Whether or not a person recognizes it, individuals possess an incredibly strong capacity for inner strength.

The first step toward accessing that strength is to tackle the various challenges presented to us, even those society tells us we cannot overcome. It has taken me years and an abundant amount of self-discovery to learn this lesson, but I now truly believe that the challenges we face are blessings that allow us to discover ourselves, allow us to help others find that strength in themselves, and most importantly, allow us to uncover the remarkable reliance we all have within.

RA: Basic things are never basic. I no longer take the little things in life for granted, like hugging loved ones, having coffee with a friend, or simply dropping the kids off at school. Moments in life are not guaranteed, and nobody knows when tragedy may strike. It is essential to let others know their value to you; that you care and love them. Because one day they may not be there for you to tell them, and you may find yourself wishing you had just one more moment.

RA: The fight against domestic violence.

RA: When in conflict, listen more and talk less. Conflict does not need to be a negative thing. Addressing conflict in your personal or business life is healthy as it aids in growth and helps solidify relationships. Instead of immediately trying to assert your position, take a moment to listen to the other side without thinking about how you will respond to what they are saying. Because if you are formulating your response while someone is speaking to you, then you are not fully listening to them. Ask questions about what they are saying. Once you understand what the other side is saying and why they are saying it, then you can meaningfully and respectfully respond, and chances are the other person will be more willing to listen to you as well. Somewhere along the way, we as a society have forgotten how to have spirited but respectful discourse, and I believe a large part of that is because we have forgotten that conflict can allow us to see a perspective that we have been blind to. We have forgotten how to listen. Next time you are presented with a conflict, listen with an open mind and see how far that can take you.

RA: When things get tough, I tell myself that this is another excitement that I am encountering. I give positive labels to difficult situations; for example, getting sick is building immunity, and being away from loved ones means an extravagant reunion. I let myself feel whatever it is I need to feel, and then I start looking for solutions. Most importantly, I remind myself to be patient with myself.

RA: Success is using my experiences and expertise to help women find their own voice and independence. The more women I can empower, the more successful I feel I am. There is nothing more gratifying or incredible than the emotions you have knowing that you contributed — no matter how large or how small — to helping a woman find her own confidence and self-worth. As long as I am doing that, I know I am successful.

RA: When I was still in college, I was abused by my former husband. He was prosecuted and my defining moment was when the prosecutor gave her closing statement. That day she gave me a feeling I will never forget, and that day was the day that I decided to change my career path and go to law school. The prosecutor was so much more than a government employee going after a criminal that broke the law. She was a powerful woman providing me with a strong voice when I was unable to provide one for myself. She helped me understand that I deserved a voice. I deserved to be heard. I wanted to let other women know that their voices deserved to be heard as well. I wanted to help give women the same gift she had given me: freedom.

RA: I would like to take longer and more frequent international vacations and see the world with my husband and children.

Orlando Women’s Conference Afternoon Keynote Speaker BARBARA POMA, CEO, onePULSE Foundation

BARBARA POMA: Life is full of lessons; they come in all moments, joyous or painful. As you get older and wiser you find you recognize these moments as opportunities to learn something new and to help you grow. Having children certainly taught me patience, and losing my brother and father in the same year taught me how to grieve and recover. My most important life lesson, of course, comes from the Pulse tragedy of June 12, 2016. The lesson to not take anything in life for granted. To make sure that we tell all of our loved ones each and every day how much they matter and how important they are to us.

BP: The last year and a half has been traumatic for humans across the world. No one escaped the fear, loss, anxiety and isolation of COVID-19. My personal lesson was understanding how this experience affected people so differently. For some, who have been traumatized by a tragedy like Pulse, this pandemic only magnified their emotions and needs. Others found themselves reconnecting or reuniting with their families and neighbors. Some found remote work was either a gift or a hardship. Intentionally seeking to understand how it affected those closest to me — family or work family — was so insightful and made relationships so much stronger. Being a person who always views life through the glass-half-full mentality, I somehow found the light during the COVID crisis. I also learned that as much as I thought I could paint, I was really terrible at it!

BP: Equity. Equity for ALL in every aspect: race, color, gender identity, sexuality, religion, culture, age and disability. For true movement in the equity conversation to begin, everyone, especially those with strong voices or who live in the majority, need to keep talking about acceptance. Once people can truly encounter someone who may not look like them or talk like them, and realize their commonalities versus differences, we will see change. These commonalities can be simple things like being a parent, or liking the same genres of music, film or literature, or hobbies. Finding them in others links us to them in ways that make it hard to not accept them.

BP: The best advice I have ever been given came from my brother when I was about 18 years old. It was simple and I did not comprehend the impact it could have on not only my life but on everyone I would encounter. It is simple: do not judge a book by its cover; listen to people. By practicing this, and I do mean consciously practicing it, I have not only met some incredibly interesting people who have led amazing lives, but I have also learned so much about life.

BP: This is not an easy question believe it or not. I think people will naturally say things like, “I run, I journal, or I meditate,” and those are all real ways to stay positive and motivated. I actually tell my kids to practice these! But for me, I dig deep and find the purpose in what I am doing in my life then I set goals to achieve it. Knowing there is a goal keeps me focused, positive and motivated every single day. Since the shooting, it is the work of onePULSE Foundation that gets me out of bed every single day.

BP: Success for me is seeing my family and the onePULSE Foundation team happy, feeling confident in themselves, and enjoying their work and personal lives. Creating environments that allow

for personal growth but also provide the support system in moments it is needed most is something I feel really strong about. When I create these spaces, I feel successful.

BP: I am not sure there is one defining moment for anyone. I believe every chapter of life is a defining moment and once you endure it or experience it, the next chapter begins. The day you leave home, the day you marry or divorce, with the birth or adoption of your children, with the death of a loved one, Pulse, and with all those that are to come, these moments have all defined me. Each of those moments changed a part of me and the trajectory of my life. I know my life will continue to have defining moments and I look forward to all of them.

BP: On a personal level I look forward to seeing my children settle into careers, relationships, and into their adult lives. This would be a huge accomplishment as any parent will tell you. On a professional note, the successful completion and openings of the National Pulse Memorial & Museum and Orlando Health Survivors Walk is my ultimate goal. Providing these experiences to the families, survivors, first responders, Orlando residents and all who travel here is my motivation, my purpose, every single day.