Written by: Bailey Hemphill
Family Success Story The Higginses
M
eet the Higgins family—John and Karla, and their children Caleb and JD of Omaha! The family has two Border Collies, Willie and Wallace, who Karla describes as the family’s “first kids” because they gave John and Karla lots of opportunities to discuss parenting before they faced the real thing. John and Karla have been married for 11 years. Karla believes their marriage has shaped their family and their values because she and John are committed to each other no matter what. “We choose to stay together through all kinds of weather,” she says. “And we apply that type of commitment to our children, making sure they know that we will always love them no matter what.” No doubt that commitment of always sticking together and loving each other no matter the circumstance was tested with oldest son Caleb’s medical issues. “Caleb was born by emergency c-section three months early with some major medical issues,” says Karla. “His condition was so severe that we weren’t allowed to hold him until about three weeks after he was born. All we could do at first was touch the top of his head and the bottom of his feet to let him know we were there for him.” Caleb spent the next seven months after his birth in the NICU, during which time he had four major abdominal surgeries to remove all but one-fourth of his intestines, which were infected. He then spent five months on a ventilator and six months on IV nutrition. “When he left the NICU, he relied on 24/7 oxygen through a nasal canula and constant tube feedings directly to his stomach through a G-button,” explains Karla. “For several months, he was also on a heart monitor. He was always attached to three machines through tubes or wires.” Though John and Karla had both been busy working full-time, Karla became Caleb’s primary caregiver when he came home, which required giving him lots of medications, therapy, monitoring him constantly, documenting his vitals, and communicating with doctors and insurance companies. “Our lives changed completely,” adds Karla. “I had always planned to stay home with my children, so stepping down from my job wasn’t an issue.” Karla had heard that having a sick child was hard on a marriage, but she didn’t truly understand it until it happened to her and John. “We’ve had to deal with a lot of grief, stress, confusion, exhaustion, anger, frustration, insecurity—the list goes on. And all of those things on top of the normal
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We choose to stay together through all kinds of weather. Karla Higgins
issues couples face when their first child comes along can make a relationship incredibly hard.” But they kept their promises to each other to stick through anything. With the help of their faith, family, and friends, the Higginses pushed through their many burdens. “[Our families] were there for us 100 percent… Caleb had someone from the family there with him every single day [when he was in the hospital]…The support we received from our church family was a huge blessing as well. They prayed with us, cried with us, encouraged us, cooked and cleaned for us, and always checked in to see if there was anything else they could do.” Karla believes Caleb is a walking miracle. “He is able to eat about half of his food by mouth now and only requires oxygen at night. There are still some issues with health, motor skills, and some behaviors that we believe stem from the medical challenges and the difficult start in life.” As parents, John and Karla have learned to adjust their expectations and remind themselves that the medical and developmental milestones Caleb has reached are truly extraordinary. As for their family values, they will always stay true. “We have chosen to love each other and stick together, no matter what,” repeats Karla.
familySPECTRUM
• • • • August 2012
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