Written by: Bailey Hemphill
Family Success Story The Carls
M
eet the Carls—Scott and Tricia, and their children Haeley and Sydney of Boys Town! The family has a French Bulldog named Zip, and they also live with eight boys, who are part of their Boys Town family. Scott and Tricia have been married for 20 years, and they believe their marriage has helped them through every obstacle in their years together. “Knowing that, no matter what happens, we are a team with the same goal allows us to overcome the stressors and unpleasant times. We have always been 100 percent committed to our marriage and making it work even in the difficult times,” they explain. The Carls’ first year of marriage was extremely difficult, as they had moved to Romania during a period in which they were still adjusting to each other. “We were together nearly all the time; however, we learned to rely on each other for support when faced with the challenges of being separated from friends and family, being immersed in a difficult culture, and being exposed to unpleasant living conditions.” During their time in Romania, the Carls adopted their oldest daughter, Haeley, from an orphanage where Tricia worked. “The adoption system was very corrupt, and the process was extremely difficult,” they say. Fortunately, the family decided to move back to Omaha—where both Scott and Tricia grew up—to ensure that there would be no surprises with the adoption and to be near their families again. Back in Omaha, the Carls applied to work at Boys Town as family teachers, though they had very little knowledge of what the job entailed. “We had very little money and stayed with our parents for the first couple of months while we interviewed at Boys Town.” Eventually, Scott and Tricia were hired and began working in a home with six teenage girls.
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Haeley, 17, Sydney, 14, Tricia, and Scott Carl
“Our family was very supportive of [Haeley’s] adoption and our choice to work at Boys Town. They were a bit overwhelmed by all the changes that took place with our family—becoming instant parents, living with six teenage strangers, celebrating holidays with non-family members, etc.” For a while, it was difficult for the Carls to adapt to their new life at Boys Town.“We had very little privacy. The Boys Town girls were always watching how we interacted with one another, so we had to be careful how we handled disagreements and conflict,” they say. “We were new parents to a 2-year-old, as well as six troubled teenage girls. We were no longer making decisions that affected just the two of us. Now everything we did had an impact on an additional seven lives…But we loved the dynamics of a large family and embraced the challenges as a learning process.” With the advice and instruction of other family teachers and Boys Town administrators, the Carls were able to learn new techniques and parenting skills that helped them overcome their deficiencies. They tried to be patient and understanding with each other, as well as each of their kids. “We knew that our new lifestyle was making us stronger, and we loved being committed to making a difference in other people’s lives…It’s so rewarding to receive a call or letter from a child who stayed with us, thanking us for what they learned while living in our family.” Every day at Boys Town is a learning experience for the Carls; but they’ve grown very comfortable over the years and are confident that Boys Town has been an amazing and culturally diverse place to raise a family. Scott and Tricia believe that their marriage and their family have survived all of the challenges they’ve faced because they all desire what’s best for each other and are constantly looking for ways to help one another. “The joy and satisfaction that [this lifestyle] brings to our family inspires us to continue to work hard in our SPECTRUM commitment to each other and others.”
family
• • • • January 2013
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