ANXIETY ISN’T ALL BAD

good breakfast is the best way to start every day.

3. Practice testing at home in an environment as close to the testing environment as possible. “Take lots and lots and lots of practice SAT tests,” Harlow said. “If you are recreating the test environment, they can also practice effective coping skills.”

4. Build their tool kit for coping with anxiety. Have them practice deep breathing and muscle relaxation if they start to tense up. Have them think about being present in their body. “How do their feet feel in their shoes? How does the chair feel against their back? How does the air feel coming in and out of their lungs?”

5. Doing these things when they are young sets them up for success later. Test anxiety seems to hit hardest in the middle grades as the stakes of the tests increase. An eighthgrade entrance exam can be a prime example.

The day of

1. Show up early to allow your child to get comfortable.

2. Make sure you’ve practiced those spelling words with them several times so they feel ready to take the test.

3. If their breath is coming faster and they’re sweating and having a hard time concentrating, it’s time to use the coping skills you’ve been practicing. Remind them about taking deep, slow breaths. Feel their body in the chair and their fingers on the keyboard or holding the pencil.

1. Parents should be very supportive afterward. “I’m really proud of you for working hard,” one could say. “I’m excited to see how you do.”

2. If your child didn’t do well for some reason, remind them that this is just one of many tests and they’ll have a chance to do better another time. Or maybe they can ask their teacher if they can do some extra work to help make up the grade.

3. If academics never come easy, remind your child of their skills in other areas and help them develop those skills further. “School is important and it’s good to work hard,” Harlow said. “But a particular skill in math or reading doesn’t determine your value as a person.”

Some parents can try to do everything right and their children still are anxious; it’s just the way they are wired.

Talk to them about the way they feel and help them generate realistic expectations for themselves.

Remind them, too: Anxiety is their body’s attempt to increase focus, heighten their senses and prepare their body for fights or flights.

“Talking about some anxiety in a positive way can help a child reframe their experience away from something negative or problematic,” he said, “and help them understand anxiety is one of your body’s ways to support success.” marjie.ducey@owh.com, 402-444-1034, twitter.com/mduceyowh