loveCelebrating with grandparents this Valentine’s Day

RACHEL GEORGE

Council Bluffs Daily Nonpareil

With so many school activities centered around Valentine’s Day, the celebration of love sometimes misses those who matter most.

How do you include extended family — grandparents in particular — in the festivities?

“The best way to incorporate grandparents is to simply involve them,” said Michael Pollock, director of lifestyle and wellness at Hillcrest Country Estates Grand Lodge in Papillion, which provides independent and assisted living for seniors, as well as memory care.

“After working in the senior population for many years now, I can tell you, the most frustrating thing for our elders is being treated as if they have no value and can no longer contribute. The best thing we can do for them on Valentine’s Day, any holiday, or any day for that matter, is to give them purpose.”

Molly George, life enrichment director at The Heritage at Fox Run in Council Bluffs, said Valentine’s Day is a “wonderful opportunity to spend time with grandparents and older adults to ensure that they feel loved.”

“ We try to capture the holiday’s warmth and positivity on our campus, to make sure it’s a special day for everyone in our community,” she said.

Similarly, Prairie Gate in Council Bluffs, which also offers of a wide range of senior living options, plans a number of themed activities for residents.

“Due to COVID, in past years some residents have stood outside while the kiddos are leaving school and we wave (in costume typically) as they leave for the day,” said Amy Muller, housing counselor at Prairie Gate . “It is an awesome sight, though — so many honks, ‘we love you’s’ yelled out of the car windows and exuberant waving both from the kids and our residents. We have also received many fun cards from our partner schools and churches next door.”

Senior living communities from throughout the greater Omaha metro shared ideas for how families can bridge the generational gap, including children and grandparents in Valentine’s Day festivities and activities:

Send cards

“Your grandparents love getting letters and cards from kids,” George said. ”We typically receive hundreds of Christmas cards from local schools. Valentine’s Day is a great opportunity for the same kind of outreach. And don’t hesitate to mail them. Everyone loves getting mail.”

Pick up the phone or tablet

“There are so many ways your grandparents can use the benefits of technology to keep in touch with loved ones,” George said. “Whether it’s an old-fashioned phone call, a video chat, a digital photo frame or an appmanaged, refreshable photo display, you can brighten someone’s day in a few short minutes.”

Plan a Valentine’s dinner for the family

“Ask grandma and grandpa if they would like to cook or bake a portion or decorate a portion (or maybe make a flower arrangement or centerpiece),” Pollock said.

Involve them in a project

“Ask grandma and grandpa if they would like to help make kiddos’ valentine cards for school, or maybe make the valentine mailbox for school,” Pollock said.

Host a “Name That Tune” contest

“Play some love songs and see who can guess it the fastest, but make sure to pick music from many eras past and present,” Pollock said.

Similarly, Heritage Communities recommended dressing up to visit and sing love songs with grandma and grandpa.

Host a double feature movie night

“Have grandma/grandpa pick their favorite love story for everyone to watch, then have the kiddos pick their favorite for grandma/grandpa to watch,” Pollock said.

“Bring some ice cream to share,” added George.

Make grandma/grandpa your pen pal

“Something simple, especially for those that can’t be with grandparents on the holiday … have the kiddos write them a love letter and ask for a response,” Pollock said. “Do this the old fashioned way and physically write out the letter and mail it.”

Think of area senior living facilities

“We received valentines from our partner schools and the residents are thrilled to receive them,” Muller said.

The residents also make cards for the students and participate in a campus-wide valentine exchange.

“They love it when children come into an assisted living or independent living community — even if they aren’t family members,” said George. “When the third grade class reads to our Heritage Communities residents, they will talk about it for days. Great for the students, great for the older adults. Win, win!”

George also suggested making special door decorations for senior living residents.

“Families and grandchildren can have a blast with arts and crafts as they make a special Valentine’s Day design on residents’ doors, patios and porches,” she said.

A love quiz

Bring a list of “love” questions to learn about your grandparents, George suggests. For example:

1. Who was your first love?

2. Who was your first kiss?

3. Where did you meet grandma/grandpa?

4. How long did you date before getting married?

5. Where did you get married? Get your dress? What type of flowers at the wedding?

Draw and color pictures for refrigerators

“These unique and cute designs are always heartwarming,” George said.

Gift candy

“A sweet and delicious candy heart or a homemade basket would make your grandparents’ day,” George said.

MARJIE DUCEY World-Herald Staff Writer

Dr. Ashley Harlow first wants parents to know that anxiety isn’t always a bad thing. A certain amount is healthy, says the licensed psychologist at Children’s Hospital & Medical Center. He’s part of the behavioral health team.

“Anxiety is our body’s effort to prepare us for dangerous or demanding situations. In fact, folks with somewhat elevated anxiety tend to be very successful — they are prepared for exams, work hard on assignments, show up to work on time and are generally well prepared for the demands of life,” he said. “It is when anxiety becomes excessive that it can interfere with performance.”

Oftentimes, that excessive anxiety shows up at test taking time. High schoolers talk about freezing when faced with a big exam.

But anxiety can affect kids at every age.

Younger children may be able to keep it together at school but become agitated and irritated at home.

Older kids start ruminating and catastrophizing, assuming they know what others are thinking and that people are judging them.

“There is a strong genetic component,” Harlow said. “A lot of times anxious parents will have anxious kids. Not only are they passing down the genes, but they are modeling some of the behavior.”

A parent may know a big test like the ACT or SAT lies ahead and mark it on the calendar, and check in often to make sure their child knows it’s getting closer. “That can contribute to the anxiety as well,” he said.

Anxiety shows up in a lot of ways.

Some children are such high performers that receiving a 98 instead of 100 on a test or project can cause anxiety. Or a teacher may unwittingly pass along her or his own anxiety because they know their job performance can be based on how the students do on the tests. Anxiety can’t be turned off, Harlow said. But it can be managed.

Take test-taking. Learning to handle the anxiety involves three phases: Before, during and after the test.

Before

1. Make sure your child knows the material.

2. Build healthy habits and that doesn’t mean starting the night before an exam. A good night’s sleep is always essential and a