Chicken Fried News

Illustrations by Jerry Bennett

Kevin recently replaced four of the six Oklahoma State Board of Education members with all the precision of a bazooka.

The new board members include an oil and gas CEO, a homeschool teacher, an accounting firm owner and a pharmacist, because who knows more about the future of public school education than that roster? They might know a thing or two about privatization though, and what is government for if not to providing new revenue streams to Kevin’s friends?

Kevin retained Yukon businessman Trent Smith, although redistricting means he moves to a different congressional district and spelling bee champion Ryan Walters rounds it out.

On their way out are a realtor, a “lubricant industry account manager,” a charter school and nonprofit executive and the board president for a school advocacy group (one also formerly headed by Walters).

It’s hard to tell from that shakeup whether Oklahoma can expect to see a glorious return to its position as 48th in the nation for education or if “owning the libs” will put Kevin and his cronies where we all think he’s headed — to dead last in the country when it comes to schooling.

Rumor has it that the new curriculum will include a Pledge of Allegiance recitation every hour on the hour, daily Christian prayer meetings (attendance

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Shouldn’t be the only thing coming.

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not required but strongly encouraged) and weekly story hour with an armed police officer or soldier in uniform.

All free lunches are canceled because there’s no such thing and all students will be required to take at least one credit hour in bootstrapping for graduation.

Of all the twists and turns the Republicans have taken in recent years, playing it soft with Vladimir Putin is one of the most bizarre.

Even more baffling is that many of the right wing’s major figures — like Donald Trump and Tucker Carlson — are seemingly proud of it. This isn’t the same party as the “evil empire” years under Reagan, though it could be argued that Putin’s autocratic regime is a far greater threat to world peace than the final years of the Soviets leading to glasnost and perestroika.

Hell, it’s not even an argument. Russian military leaders have made unveiled threats about using nuclear force if things don’t go their way on the ground in Ukraine.

But even that brinkmanship hasn’t prevented officials from tiptoeing around Russia. In fact, Russia Today — a known propaganda arm — just used Oklahoma state Sen. Nathan Dahm’s (R- Broken Arrow ) words in a broadcast.

“The Pentagon is planning on sending Ukrainian troops to Oklahoma to train on U.S. missile systems. The last thing we need is them misfiring a missile into Oklahoma” is the exact phrase of Dahm’s they parroted.

To be fair, Dahm followed it up with this quote to KTUL in Tulsa: “I’m America First, I’m not on the side of Russia, I’m not on the side

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of Ukraine. I am on the side of the Russian people and the Ukrainian people because the people are the ones caught in this meat grinder that are having this loss of life because of the actions of both their governments.”

He’s not wrong and even recently proposed brokering peace talks for both nations on Oklahoma soil. That’s a far better idea than placating Russia or justifying Putin’s actions as so many of his conservative colleagues have been.

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