The fear factor – money and finances

Words JOHNITA FRANCIS

Recently during a conversation, I was triggered big time and I saw a massive FEAR that I didn’t even recognise, lurking in the back row, up in the nosebleed section.

I found a massive fear around not being able to be safe; to safely get myself somewhere where no one can hurt me. Years of abuse will do that to you; it will create a conditioning so strong, so profound that even though you think you’ve worked through it, you’re still impacted by it.

Money could get me away to a safe place. Money could get me a taxi ride out of there when he finally passed out. Money could get me a plane ticket far away from where he could find me. Money could get me restarted when he took everything that I owned, including my shoes and clothes.

I taught myself how to have an earning capacity so great that I would never need to feel unsafe about anything or anyone in any situation ever again. I would always have escape money. Heck we are even told as women to make sure we have a bit of money set aside for ‘you never know’ situations.

I learned that if you do not have an emotional response to every little thing that comes along, you are less impacted by it – Easy. I learned that if you put steps into place to reduce the likelihood of recurrence, you can greatly reduce risk – Easy. I learned a logical approach to things is often the easiest way to a solution. So why am I now feeling like I still need escape money? I applied logic. I didn’t allow emotion to consume me. I got on with the job. So why was I in a holding pattern of terror around not having a means to escape?

Wait! Do I even need a means to escape? Escape what or who? Why am I having an emotional response to a situation that may not actually happen? And why am I allowing this fear to prevent me from living the life I want. Time to get real with myself… How much of this conditioned perception is accurate reality? And how badly do I want a life free from unnecessary and outdated fears?

Here’s some homework – list your physical goals down. Write them all out and then sit with each of these goals and feel the emotions you will feel when you achieve them. Ask yourself how you will feel when you land on these milestones. Write down the physical reward you will gift to yourself when you achieve these. Really feel into the moment, let those emotions wash over you and feel them in every ounce of your soul.

And if you are still struggling with working through this, let me know, reach out. Let’s work together to get your light shining brightly and get you the happiness you are so capable of.

www.insightsbyjohnita.com