14 minute read

The Invisible Veteran: A Day in the Life of the Forgotten Female Marine

from NAWRB Magazine Volume 10, Issue 2 Technology Human Balance

by Women in the Housing & Real Estate Ecosystem

from NAWRB Magazine Volume 10, Issue 2 Technology Human Balance, page 20

Article from: NAWRB Magazine Volume 10, Issue 2 Technology Human Balance

NDILC's Twelve Women Leadershi...

The Invisible Veteran: A Day in The Life of the Forgotten Female Marine

by Erica G. Courtney

September 2021, Vermont

She sits in the dark corner with her notepad, pen, and comfort dogs as she breathes heavily, disconnected from the world. She hands her notebook to me with a list of items to do to help her feel safe. I read it and recite the words she has posed. “You are OK and you are safe,” while following the direction to squeeze her hand. She looks to me with an empty gaze in her eyes. In a trance in which she is longing to be snapped out of. How did she get to this point and why? Where is her voice and why has she not been heard for years? Her name is Stephanie and through my journey with her, I found her to be one of the strongest, most resilient people I have ever met. Her story is as long as it is complex.

To really understand the bigger picture and how she fits within, you must first look to the data. Military service increases the risk of mental and physical health problems as veterans have significantly elevated rates of suicide, psychiatric and physical illness, including depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), substance abuse and obesity compared with civilian populations. Veterans also face higher rates of unemployment, homelessness, and divorce.

"The most vulnerable are veterans under 34 years of age and women veterans are often viewed as the ‘Invisible Veteran’. "

The numbers are alarming on so many levels but let’s start with comparing the population of women veterans to non-women veterans in the U.S.

• 3x the unemployment level

• 3x more likely to experience homelessness & poverty

• 23% are divorced vs. 12%

How about the difference between female to male veterans?

• Women are 3x more likely to commit suicide than non-military men, male veterans are 2x more likely.

• 81% male workforce participation vs. 61% for women veterans

• Women veterans suffer 2x-3x PTSD and Depression rates over male veterans

• Homelessness for males at 5% of the total population and 10% for females

• 74% of female veterans say the public does not recognize their service

• About 1 in 3 women seen in VA respond “yes” when screened for Military Sexual Trauma (MST)

• Women are given lower VA claim ratings (10-30%) than men (70-100%)

It is not all doom and gloom. Once past the critical ‘three-year’ transition mark, they often outperform their civilian counterparts in business, educational attainment, running for and winning public office and volunteering, making their communities safer. There are over 42,000 organizations set up to help veterans and their families, but statistics show that no matter how much money or how many new organizations pop up daily, the problems they face are intensifying. It is imperative we take a holistic approach and avoid passing them around as they often get lost in the system. Intentions may be well meaning but what I witnessed with Stephanie, was a person that kept getting referred out only to encounter barrier after barrier keeping her from attaining the help she needed. It was a travesty and people need to know that for every one we hear about, there are thousands we do not. A lesser person would have given up years ago, but Stephanie keeps going. Trying.

How did I, a Commissioner from California representing women and girls in the state and a woman veteran myself, get entangled in this? The usual story-a friend of a friend reached out and said a Marine needed help. I have heard every story over the years but when I took Stephanie’s call, I had a hard time keeping up and something in my gut said I needed to get on a plane the next day and fly to Vermont. That is exactly what I did. The injustices this woman has faced from her initial basic training days to today are astronomical. From being raped early on and threatened to keep her mouth shut or her career was over to abusive relationships, massive weight gain, alcohol abuse, coping with being a young single parent, mental illness, and eventually homelessness during the pandemic.

What is striking here is that yes, we can view her as a victim of societal failures on many levels, but we can’t ignore the fact that she recognized she was on a bad path, put herself through nursing school, became a physical trainer focused on nutrition and strength training, currently holds a record in Vermont for lifting, and got her dishonorable discharge overturned to receive benefits from Veterans Affairs. End of story with a happy ending, right? No. This is where it gets interesting and where I come in.

Finally, she is going to get help and the VA is her first stop. Disaster. In a nutshell she is told, if you were a male veteran, you would have access to two-year transitional housing which includes three meals a day, transportation, mental health, employment services and more. But, sorry, we have nothing for women veterans like that in the state. There simply are not enough of you. We also have very limited funds and may only be able to give you a voucher for a few days to a local hotel. But what we can do for you, they say, is offer you some extra blankets and pillows so you are more comfortable living out of your truck over the winter. Oh, and lastly, there is a two-year wait for mental health services but here is a prescription for 17 -medications until then. Are you kidding me! Nope. I have a voice and I am going to use it to give a voice to what may become one of the strongest advocates in Vermont on women veterans’ issues. This is not OK; thus, I am now on a plane headed east. I immediately rallied my network of other Commissioners in California, and my first stop would be the Vermont Women’s Commission.

I rented a B&B in VT and had Stephanie and the dogs meet me there. I walked in, unsure of how this was going to go, and we connected through the night, having obtained better insight into her journey. She was so happy to have a bed, a shower and to be able to do dishes. It was heartbreaking but also a window into the change that is coming. The next morning, we met with three key women from the Vermont Women’s Commission, and they were blown away by her story, the discriminatory practices in the law, funding and dug into the barriers she faced. She now had three more advocates making calls to the Women’s Caucus, Bernie Sander’s office, NGOs and more.

Lisa, the VT Chair, even began looking for places for Stephanie as we wanted her off the streets. It was beautiful how they rallied.

Next day, Veterans Affairs, and I was ready to kick down some doors. Stephanie, however, faced a lot of triggers upon entry into the building and often gets panic attacks as she does not see the VA as an advocate for her. She had to know every exit and walked through at a brisk pace to get to the destination. I kept telling her she is safe, I am here, and everything will be OK. We managed to get the one person who was awful to her out of the picture, and she was now dealing directly with the supervisor who was amazing. Meghan understood Stephine gets overwhelmed with applications and listened to her story ensuring that she would get the one-on-one service she needed. She arranged meetings off-site, outside of the VA at a coffee shop with Rachel, another VA rep who knew landlords in the area and made it her mission to get Stephanie shelter. See the theme here: Stephanie is untrusting of many men and women made her feel much more at ease. Take notice VA. They confirmed that there is in fact no housing for women vets as well as limited funds for temporary shelter offering a few nights in a hotel. Again, we can do better.

Stephanie was extremely proactive but here are the things she faced and undoubtedly, other women face and can’t get the help they deserve. Because Stephanie has a service dog it eliminates her from most state housing options. Also, because she has an income, which is directly related to her service-connected disability, she does not qualify for shelters. Thirdly, she is a woman- based solely on gender, she has no options provided by the VA. Lastly, she is homeless and has no address to put on applications and landlords do not want anyone that was homeless in their places. To complicate things further, her son is now 15 and if she leaves Vermont, there goes any state support, so she is bound to find a place in a market where there is simply limited inventory.

Onto a local nonprofit after dealing with the VA, Friends of Veterans. They were initially turned off by Stephanie as she comes across strong and aggressive but when we met with a volunteer in person it was magical. Pat has a father who served in Vietnam and a brother who served in the Gulf war, both suffering from PTSD. His kindness, patience and compassion towards Stephanie brought me to tears. This is a small organization, and they struggle to fundraise, but were the only ones who gave instant results. She was given gas and food gift cards and they said they were going to help her with a pre-approval security deposit letter so she could get some financial relief. They came through on their promise and it was a beautiful thing to watch. The moral of this story, big government is not solving problems no matter how much money they get, but a group of strong compassionate women Commissioners and a small group of NGO volunteers made change happen.

End of day, Friday. I was feeling great; the balls were moving, and Stephanie had a voice now that people were listening to. However, it should not have taken a stranger with a bit of clout to give voice to a hero. That should be powerful enough in its own right, but it is not. For the one we see, there are thousands we do not and lose every day to suicide, addiction, and mental illness.

Stephanie and I decided to go on a hike-get into nature and clear our heads. Upon pulling into the park, Stephanie snapped at me and was panicking. She voiced she needed five minutes to process. OK. I am not a therapist and was a bit annoyed at her but took a deep breath and gave her the space. She ran, barefoot to the creek and sat in it with her dogs. Water. Then she came up and was a different person. I wanted to know what that was about, and she let me know that she has been homeless for seven months, kicked out of her apartment during COVID as her landlord lost her job and needed her house. She has been isolated. Alone. Little activity. Lives in fear of sexual assault nightly. She expressed that the last few days moved at a rapid pace, and it was very hard for her. I knew this may be coming out so the first night I gave her options to stay in her truck, sit outside or call in if she was uncomfortable. She declined and wanted to be strong. She was very strong. She kept up with me and that is hard to do so it is understandable she was trying to process going from zero help to a state behind her. We hiked. We talked. We connected. This trip was just as valuable for me. I work at the national or state level and getting into the tactical, grassroots level is so important to reignite my passion to keep going. To keep advocating and doing. Living in her shoes even for a few days alerted me to start really digging in my own state, California, and they know I am coming with vigor ensuring what happened in Vermont is not happening in my state. Meetings are set with CalVet and the VA and I am hopeful about what we can do to identify barriers women veterans face in order to protect those that equally served our nation in uniform.

While some argue we simply do not have enough women veterans in the state of Vermont, I argue against this premise. Vermont has nearly 4,000 women veterans and through 2045, this number is expected to increase slightly year over year while the male veteran population is expected to decrease from 36,000 to 18,000. By 2045, women veterans will make up 23% of the entire Vermont population. In California, we have more veterans than any other state and like Vermont, by 2034, while the female veteran population rises to 15% of the total veteran population, male veteran population will decrease by 4.6%. Currently, we have over 150,000 female veterans in the state and make up about 11% of all veterans compared to 10% nationally. Total veterans in the U.S. as of September 2019 was 19.2M and the total number of women veterans is 1.9M with Texas, Florida, California, Virginia, and Georgia topping the list.

Numbers tell a story, but it is important to really ‘hear’ an actual story. To feel anger, joy, disgust and yearn for justice. Numbers don’t convey that emotion and this country should get emotional about the topic surrounding the lack of access on so many levels to women that served their country. Abraham Lincoln once said that we can judge a country on how it treats those who bore the brunt of freedom. How are we doing? We can certainly do better.

"I am happy to report Stephanie has recently moved into an apartment and will be getting her now 15-year-old son back shortly. She is managing clients as a personal trainer and is nesting trying to adjust the best she can. She now has space to process. She may not be ready to lead the effort just yet for other women veterans in Vermont but mark my words, give her time. She will be fierce.

After all, she is a Marine. "

This article is from:

NAWRB Magazine Volume 10, Issue 2 Technology Human Balance

by Women in the Housing & Real Estate Ecosystem