Editor's Forum: I’m Celebrating!

SOLOMON DANIELS

When you’re a kid, the anticipation of your birth “day” is something that builds up as it gets closer but doesn’t really hit until the actual day. But as an adult—with more freedom, more capability maybe, and definitely more obligation— the annual self-celebration becomes less about a day and expands to include the preceding and/or following weekend.

In my case, it becomes the entire month. So yes, I am already feeling the birthday glow.

If you want to get me something for my birthday, I’ve provided a list. Tops on that list is an all-expense-paid trip to Europe. But if that’s not in the budget, the rest of the list is more doable.

There are two things that give me fulfillment. First is helping people in a way that truly benefits them. Second is empowering people with knowledge, tools, and encouragement so they can continually help themselves. This magazine and my profession give me the opportunity to do both, and I hope I’ve been able to make a positive impact somewhere in our industry.

So, it stands to reason that the remainder of my list of most-desired birthday presents falls along these lines. To celebrate my special day, I want something that makes you better. Pick something from my list below, complete it in the next 30 days, and then let me know how it went.

Sol’s Presents List 1. I want you to send me to Europe. (We already discussed this. Feel free to move on.)

2. I want you to have a stronger sense of empathy. Empathy is the ability to prioritize a point of view other than your own. Fast food is the perfect example. A customer comes back saying the restaurant forgot his fries. The lack-of-empathy response is to replace the fries and get him out quickly to keep the customer lines short. Strong empathy is to realize the customer now must wait to eat. He spent gas and time coming back, and the remainder of his food is probably cold.

When a situation occurs, the very first thought for many people is, “How does this affect me?” Flip this around. Think about how it affects others first. You’re apt to show more caring and make a better decision as a result.

3. I want you to identify your procrastinating behaviors. We all have things we love to do. But for the tasks we really dislike, our response is to put them off by doing something else we justify as necessary. After enough times, we don’t even realize we are doing it. Start by identifying the tasks you dislike and think about the things you’ve done instead. These are your procrastinating behaviors. Knowing this creates a mental red flag that you can use to re-focus and power through those less-attractive tasks.

4. I want you to ask for help. We’ve gotten to a certain point in our lives based on our own will, smarts and guile. This is great, but we start thinking self-reliance is the only solution. Changes in life—and us as well—can leave one feeling direction-less. Ask for directions. It’s illogical to think we possess all the information necessary to solve previously unencountered issues. Move past the ego born of your accomplishments and reach out to someone who has been there and can provide guidance.

5. I want you to rediscover the idea of new. Wonder why teenagers act like they know everything? Because they do. Within their limited worlds they’ve experienced it all. It happens to us in life and work as well. Remember your last, real new experience? The feeling brought with it injections of creativity and excitement, and reawakened your desire to learn. Add a new challenge to your life to bring this back. The great karma this creates will also seep into your mundane tasks to add welcome change.

6. I want you to give someone the benefit of the doubt. We have three measuring sticks when it comes to people: what other people say about them, our past experiences with similar people, and our direct interactions. Problem is, we tend to rely more on the first two, and we act accordingly. Throw it all out. Make time to interact directly with someone whether you’re resolving a problem or getting to know them. That one time when someone feels you’re seeing them with your own eyes instead of through others’ can raise their self-esteem and be the catalyst for other positive life changes.

If anything I’ve ever said or done has helped you, given you pause, made you angry, caused you to look inside, given you a laugh or made you feel a bit better, do one of these and let me know how it works for you. Send me an email or call me. Knowing that we’re becoming better people is the best present anyone can ask for. Happy Birthday to me, and the best of everything to you!