Integrité

Roberta Kwan 67 the narrative presents Sam‘s perspective: ―You‘d think they were carrying the nation on their backs with all that scrubbing and sweeping, tacking up shelves and blackboards, arguing over the situation of jars, tubs, scales and till‖ (76).

Significantly, the narrative signals the failure of this belief schema, especially for Oriel. Midway through the narrative, she and Lester engage in their longest conversation in its twenty-year span: We don‘t belong anywhere. When I was a girl I had this strong feeling that I didn‘t belong anywhere, not in my body, not on the land. It was in my head, what I thought and dreamt, what I believed, Lester, that‘s where I belonged, that was my country.

That was the final line of defence in the war. …What‘re you sayin, love?

Since Fish…I‘ve been losin the war. I‘ve lost me bearins....

You believe in the Nation, though. You‘re the flaming backbone of the ANZAC club.

Ah, it‘s helpin the boys, I know, but I read the newspaper Lester. They‘re tellin us lies….

But, but the good of the country.

Oriel put a blunt finger to her temple: This is the country, and it‘s confused. It doesn‘t know what to believe in either. You can‘t replace your mind country with a nation, Lest. I tried.

Lester almost gasps…. It‘s terrifying.

You believe in hard work, love.

Not for its own sake, I don‘t. We weren‘t born to work….

There‘s always the family, says Lester.

Families aren‘t things you believe in, they‘re things you work with. …So what do you want? says Lester.

I want my country back.

The tent?

I wish I could lace it up an never come out…

Why? Then I could get on with the real war.

You want a miracle, don‘t you?

I want the miracle finished off. I demand it, and I‘m gonna fight to get it.

So you do believe. (231-32) The repetition of the language of ―belief‖ suggests that the Lambs had not discarded a desire, even a need, to believe, just the former object of their belief, whom they replaced with nation, work and family. But Oriel realizes the impotence of this triumvirate (perhaps this ―colonial trinity‖) in what she terms ―the war,‖ her earlier-stated trope for life: ―It‘s all war, she said.... Everythin....

Life. War is our natural state‖ (229). Importantly, Oriel distinguishes between ―country‖ and ―nation.‖ Country is the metaphorical conjunction of mind and