Military press, oct 1, 2015

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AIR SHOW HONORS VETERANS Annual display runs Oct. 2–4

By Lance Cpl. Kimberlyn Adams

T

he 2015 MCAS Miramar Air Show runs aboard Marine Corps Air Station Miramar Oct. 2–4.

This year’s theme, “A Salute to Veterans and Their Families,� highlights the men and women who fight this country’s battles and the families who support them.

Spectators from around the world come to enjoy the show, which is the largest military air show in the country.

The MCAS Miramar Air Show is expected to showcase flight demonstration teams, such as the U.S. Navy Blue Angels, Patriots Jet Team and Breitling Jet team, as well as world-class civilian performers and the capabilities of the Marine AirGround Task Force.

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“The Miramar Air Show is not just a way for us to showcase the amazing capabilities of the MAGTF, it’s also an opportunity to introduce you to the young men and women, who gladly serve daily to protect our great nation,� said Maj. Gen. Michael Rocco, commanding general of the 3rd Marine Aircraft Wing.

Static displays, various vendors and booths are scheduled to be available for the public to visit and enjoy at their leisure between attractions. “This will give the community a chance to see all the different things the military and many organizations that are not affiliated with the military, have to offer,� said Col. Jason Woodworth, commanding officer of MCAS Miramar.

New to this year’s show is a performance from the Breitling Jet Team as part of their first U.S. tour. The Breitling Jet Team hails from France and is the world’s largest professional civilian flight team performing in jets.

Also, new to this year’s show is an aerial demonstration from the F-35B Joint

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Strike Fighter, which reached initial operating capability in July.

Rocco and Woodworth join their Marines and Sailors in the excitement of preparing for the upcoming show. “It’s my first air show as a [commanding officer] and it’s good to be here,� said Woodworth. “It’s good to get a chance to see everything from this perspective and how much work goes into it.�

Rocco and Woodworth both continue to prepare their Marines and the installation for the upcoming air show. “Marines are doing a lot of things, from small tasks such as filling sand bags, to putting flyers together, putting up signs, getting everything organized and coordinating all the events,� said Woodworth.

The gates are scheduled to open to the public at 8:15 a.m. For more information about the 2015 MCAS Miramar Air Show, visit www.miramarairshow.com.

Determined Craig Mager is ready for NFL’s challenges Page 4

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IS THE END NEAR FOR ‘THE SIMPSONS?’ Showrunner

predicts finale after season 30

In the decades since its 1989 premiere, “The Simpsons� has provided consistent laughs for generations of audiences. The titular family has just begun their 27th season residing at 742 Evergreen Terrace, with a contractual guarantee that they will continue to do so for 28.

People have often joked that the series would run forever, but – like all things – it must eventually come to an end. It’s a matter not of if, but of when, and executive producer and series showrunner Al Jean may have just shed some light on that.

Speaking with The Hollywood Reporter, Jean spoke out about the longevity of “The Simpsons,� and when it could all come to a close. “It’s quite possible that we don’t have to go through the whole negotiation for 30. I wouldn’t be stunned if we stopped at 28, but my bet is on at least 30. But then you’d have to resign them again. If you made me pick one, I’d say the likeliest is ending after 30, but I’ve been wrong before. I thought five seasons was good when I got there.�

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‘Simpsons’ showrunner Al Jean says the groundbreaking series may come to an end after its 30th season.

So fans of “The Simpsons� can rejoice knowing that the family will likely continue to grace our screens for at least three more seasons. Of course, this estimate does not take unforeseen circumstances

into account – the cast is getting older, his idea was to have the series finale lead after all. Many fans have their own ideas directly into the series premiere episode for how the show should come to an end, “Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire.� when that day finally comes. Jean himSIMPSONS, continued on Page 16 self recently came out and admitted that

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$ Reno’s Atlantis played host to the WPT’s DeepStacks tournament. Its next stop will be at Ocean’s 11 in Oceanside.

WPT DeepStacks at the Atlantis, Reno

By Howard Hian MilitaryPress

Every so often writing assignments sync perfectly with personal interests. So it was when I covered the World Poker Tour DeepStacks Tournament, hosted by the Atlantis Casino Resort Spa in Reno, Nev. There were 15 games scheduled over a 10-day period. The majority were No Limit Hold ’Em, with buy-ins ranging from $65 – $1,000. Several were satellite events, and there was also an Omaha High-Low and a Pot Limit Omaha tournament.

After an efficient check-in, I signed up for the Atlantis’ Paradise Club and had a late lunch at Toucan Charlie’s award-winning buffet. Early evening, I sat in on my first table, Omaha Hi-Lo. It is my favorite game and the subject of my app tutorial. It was a $5,000 guaranteed payout, allowing buy-in/registration through level six. Although wounded early by a straight flush beating my full-house and my second nuts losing to the nuts in the same hand, I was happy to make the final table and finish in fifth place.

After breakfast the following morning at the Purple Parrot, I was off to take photos for my new website, www.PokerResortsReno.com and the app, Travel Reno.

The area is scenic with lots of activities outside the casino: sightseeing, shopping, hiking, biking, sporting events and cultural opportunities.

My next tournament was Pot Limit Omaha. To me, it is the most challenging of the poker games because of the betting structure. The maximum one can bet is the total of what’s in the pot. I finished in

the lower middle of the pack, but it was fun to participate in a game that I don’t often play. I grabbed a quick bite at Cafe Fresco (don’t miss their gelato) and called it a night.

My final game was No Limit Hold ’Em. There was an interesting mix of players including about 10 percent women. It’s lots of fun observing the various styles of play and noting the skill levels of those around the table. I busted out mid-range of those entered but, once again, it was a terrific experience.

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At the Atlantis Casino Resort Spa, www. atlantiscasino.com, I discovered two seriously good food items: the Oyster Bar’s Mazatlan cocktail in the Sky Terrace and social hour at Napa Bistro (Wagyu sliders and a beer for $12!). Atlantis’ Paradise Club offers many guest perks. If you go, reserve a room that allows you access to the Concierge Level; continental breakfast and snacks, food and drinks throughout the day. Another nice touch — there is a free airport shuttle.

Reno was the 11th of 16 “mid-major poker market� destinations of the WPT DeepStacks’ Season 2 Series. Logon to www.wptdeepstacks.com for information and its calendar. Note: Ocean’s Eleven Casino in San Diego/Oceanside will be home to the next tournament October 17–26.

For extensive information about Reno and a tutorial on how to play Omaha, go to the iTunes store and download the app, Travel Reno.

Safe travels, don’t draw to an inside straight and enjoy the journey‌ www.Travels-with-Hian.com

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ROOKIE DB CRAIG MAGER KEEPS PUSHING ON W

By Art Garcia Jr. MilitaryPress

ational football plays.� You have to know when it’s four-minute situations or twominute situations — (it’s) a lot more menhen he was just 15 years old, tally than physically (in the NFL)‌ there’s Craig Mager suddenly had not really two-a-days and stuff like that. to become the man-of-the- So it’s a lot more mental reps where you’re family. connecting the dots as quickly as you can.

Growing up without a father-figure, AG: I imagine the playbook at this level Mager had to step up and become a role is a lot different as well. How far are you model for his three younger sisters after along in the playbook as the season has his mother died in 2007. After the kids just started? moved in with their maternal grandCM: I’m pretty good. I feel like I know mother, football became Mager’s ref- all the plays, there’s just some formations uge at Luling High School in the small that change the calls so you have to know town of Luling, Texas, where he was those adjustments on the fly. So I’m still named District 27kind of learning those 3A MVP and honadjustments, but as orable mention allfar as the whole playstate in 2009. book goes, I feel really Following a standout career at Texas good about it.

State, Mager’s hard work paid off when he AG: Did you set any goals for yourself was selected by the Chargers in the third as a rookie? round of the NFL Draft last May. Recently, CM: Pretty much just to help this team Mager answered a few questions regard- win any way I can. I’m really trying to deing his progress in the NFL and how his velop a special teams spot right now, and upbringing prepared him to handle life in I feel like they really like me at a couple of general. positions.

AG: Coming from Texas State to a I want to keep getting better on special third-round draft pick in the NFL is quite teams and continue to learn from Brandon a jump. What has been the biggest transi- Flowers and Jason Verrett at cornerback tion for you? and study their techniques and learn what CM: Just mentally knowing your play- makes them successful. book, knowing where your help is at and AG: I think every high school football MilitaryPress#3b_OSBmilPress1b 9/25/15 4:24 PM Page 1 being aware (of your assignment) in “situ- player dreams of playing in the NFL. Now

CHARGERS REPORT

DB Craig Mager says he’s ready for anything the world, or the NFL, can throw at him.

O

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ff M e D i re is lit d co ar E u y v n e t ry d a y!

that you have made it to this level, what has are really, really good, but once you get been the biggest surprise for you so far? out here and study them on film everyCM: I’m surprised how I’ve been able body is going to have their weaknesses. So to come out here and perform as well as MAGER, continued on Page 19 I do. Really, on television you think guys

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Known for his philosophical quotes, Yankees Hall-of-Famer Yogi Berra died Sept. 23 at the age of 90.

The uncommon wisdom of Hall-of-Famer Yogi Berra

Some of the more widely quoted philosOn his approach to playing baseball: ophy of Yogi Berra, the New York Yankees “Baseball is 90 percent mental. The other Hall of Fame catcher who died Sept. 23 at half is physical.� age 90: On death: “Always go to other people’s On his approach to at-bats: “You can’t funerals. Otherwise they won’t go to think and hit at the same time.� yours.�

On selecting a restaurant: “Nobody goes On learning: “You can observe a lot by there anymore. It’s too crowded.� watching.�

On economics: “A nickel ain’t worth a On his team’s diminishing pennant dime anymore.� chances: “It ain’t over ‘till it’s over.�

On the 1973 Mets: “We were overOn the fractured syntax attributed to whelming underdogs.� him: “I really didn’t say everything I said.�

On how events sometimes seem to repeat themselves “It’s deja vu all over again!�

On baseball attendance: “If people don’t come to the ballpark, how are you gonna Yogi Berra passed away Sept. 23 at stop them?�

90 years old. He was and will always On a slipping batting average: “Slump? be a beloved American icon — Hall of I ain’t in no slump. ... I just ain’t hitting.�

Fame catcher for the New York YanOn travel directions: “When you come kees and master of quotable quotes to a fork in the road take it.� like “it ain’t over ‘til it’s over� and On pregame rest: “I usually take a two“when you come to a fork in the road, hour nap from 1 to 4.� take it.�

On battling the shadows in left field at Not as well known about Berra is Yankee Stadium: “It gets late early out that he served in the U.S. Navy during there.�

World War II and was part of the DOn fan mail: “Never answer an anonyDay Invasion on June 6, 1944. mous letter.�

Berra was only 18 when he showed On being told he looked cool: “You don’t up at Little Creek Naval Base in Virlook so hot yourself.� ginia for training as a landing craft On being asked what time it was: “You crewman. D-Day was only a few mean now?� months away, but he had little idea of On being given a day in his honor: what his role would be at that time. “Thank you for making this day necessary.�

D-DAY, continued on Page 21 On a spring training drill: “Pair off in threes.�

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Was at D-Day

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Patch for ISIS conflict draws flak Soldiers say it looks

like something the enemy would wear

A combat patch worn by U.S. soldiers who served in Iraq on the mission against Islamic State is drawing flak from service members and veterans who say the patch — with its palm wreath, stars and crossed scimitars — looks like something the enemy would wear.

The patch isn’t new. Soldiers serving in Operation Inherent Resolve have been sewing it onto their uniforms since April, shortly after the Army authorized it.

There is also a medal version for wear on the Army Service Uniform, service spokesman Wayne Hall said on Thursday.

Army Secretary John McHugh approved the patch on March 23 and the service announced it in a message to troops four days later.

But a story on the patch posted on

Facebook has drawn a long string of criticism from readers who say the design makes it look more like a unit patch of a Middle Eastern military — or even something ISIS would wear.

The article, which ran in USA Today, quotes from an Army document stating that the crossed scimitars symbolize the twin goals of the U.S.-led coalition — to defeat the Islamic State in Iraq and Syria, or ISIS (also known as ISIL), and to restore stability in the region. “Will these be issued to Iraqi troops so they can desert again and leave these patches for ISIS?� asked

Claims extremists have infiltrated U.S. departments

Army veteran Michael Daunais, a reference to instances in which Iraqi troops have gone over to the jihadists rather than fight them. “You can keep that ISIS patch featuring swords that chop off our heads,� wrote David Clay, a former Army chief warrant officer.

Some commenters wrote that they initially thought the article was posted by The Duffleblog, a faux news site that satirizes the military.

Former Army Capt. Kevin Casas called the patch “100% Haji style! “The team I worked with in the Jordanian Special Forces had a patch just like that, they were good guys, but the bad guys’ patch also looks like ... that,� he continued. “How about an American looking style symbol? wtf man?�

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Admiral blasts U.S. strategy

Dr. Sandy T. Feldman

A four star admiral, who was in charge of the largest single military command in the world, slammed President Obama. He called on Congress to end the Muslim Brotherhood infiltration of every U.S. National Security Agency under Obama’s administration.

James “Ace� Lyons is a retired fourstar admiral. His last duty assignment was commander of the U.S. Pacific Fleet, the largest single military command in the world. His initiatives contributed directly to the economic stability and humanitarian understanding in the Pacific and Indian Ocean regions and brought the U.S. Navy Fleet back to China.

He is known as “the father� of Red Cell, Navy anti-terrorism units comprised of Navy Seals, which Lyons established in Adm. James “Ace� Lyons response to the Marine barracks bombing in Beirut.

He has represented the United States in both a military and civilian capacity worldwide.

Lyons unleashed a plea to end the flood of Muslim Brotherhood infiltration into every U.S. National Security branch by the Obama Administration. “No question we’ve got a hell of a job ahead of us with the Muslim Brotherhood penetration in every one of our national security agencies, including all our intelligence agencies, and has been reported by some, our lead intelligence agency headed by a Muslim convert (a direct reference to CIA Director John Brennan who chose to swear in on the Constitution while refusing to swear in on the bible with many rumors he converted to Islam in the 1990s in Baghdad). “This is not going to be an easy task.�

The admiral did not mince words. He started with President Obama’s failure to send anyone to Paris until a week after the “Unity Rally,� where President Obama chose to send Secretary of State John Kerry and James Taylor to sing for the French People, despite DOJ Eric Holder being in France at the time of the rally.

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USNS Mercy returns from deployment

By Sgt. James Gulliver Pacific Partnership 2015 personnel assigned to the hospital ship USNS Mercy (T-AH 19) returned home Sept. 27 as the ship pulled in to U.S. Naval Base San Diego after a nearly five-month deployment.

More than 600 Sailors, Marines and civilian mariners returned to their families and friends after participating in PP15, where they provided medicine, dentistry, veterinary, public health services, engineering and disaster response training, education and direct care in Fiji, Papua New Guinea, the Philippines and Vietnam. “I am proud to have been in command of several ordnance, fuel and supply ships in the defense of freedom, but I can find no greater honor then to have commanded USNS Mercy during Pacific Partnership, bringing a cargo of friendship, aid and hope to those in need,� said Thomas Giudice, the merchant marine captain of Mercy.

Pacific Partnership strengthens partnerships and ensures that the international community is better prepared to synchronize and function together to deliver foreign humanitarian aid in times of natural disaster or crisis. PP15 supporting partners included Australia,

tion volunteers and international partners return to their bases, homes and families we can all take a moment to reflect on the regional ties we have renewed, the improvements in disaster response preparedness we have made, and the deepening of commitments our nations and organizations have demonstrated, not only for the people of Kiribati, Solomon Islands, Federated States of Micronesia, Fiji, Papua New Guinea, Philippines, and Vietnam, but to the Indo-Asia-Pacific Region as a whole,“ said Capt. Christopher Engdahl, the Pacific Partnership 2015 mission commander.

Mercy medical and dental personnel provided direct care to more than 20,000 patients, but the primary objective of Pacific Partnership 2015 was to conduct subject matter expert exchanges to improve collective disaster response. Approximately 1,200 total PP15 personnel aboard The hospital ship USNS Mercy transits San Diego Bay on Sept. 27 as it returns to its homeport at Naval Base San Mercy spent more than 20,500 man hours Diego. Mercy completed a nearly five-month deployment in support of Pacific Partnership 2015. (U.S. Navy photo by engaged in joint education and didactic Mass Communication Specialist 3rd Class Eric Coffer) exchanges with host nations. “We learned a tremendous amount New Zealand, Japan, Republic of Korea, versity of Hawaii, Project Handclasp, and from our partner nations in subject matter expert exchanges,� said Capt. Melanie Malaysia, Canada, Timor Leste, Fiji, and World Vets.

France. Non-governmental organizations “As the 10th Pacific Partnership mission Merrick, the commanding officer of the participating were Project Hope, Opera- draws to a close and our talented group of medical treatment facility USNS Mercy. tion Smile, Latter Day Saints Charities, Sailors, Marines, Soldiers, Airmen, Coast MERCY, continued on Page 20 University of California San Diego, Uni- Guard men, non-governmental organiza-

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0DU 7

Air Force rescuer reunites with ‘Katrina Girl’ L

By Senior Airman Callie McNary Air Force News

OS ANGELES — Ten years ago, Staff Sgt. Mike Maroney hovered over a maelstrom of water, debris and human suffering. New Orleans, a once vibrant mecca for revelers and tourists, was ground zero for impoverished refugees in the wake of Hurricane Katrina.

By Sept. 6, 2005, Maroney said he had become depressed and felt detached from the city’s suffering. He had spent the previous six days caring for coma victims, families with no place to go and refugee drop-offs at the Federal Emergency Management Agency camp at the Louis Armstrong Airport.

Maroney, then a helicopter pararescue specialist with the 66th Rescue Squadron at Nellis Air Force Base, Nevada, said he was overwhelmed with the human condi- Left: Then-Staff Sgt. Mike Maroney embraces 3-year-old LeShay Brown after rescuing her from a rooftop after Hurricane Katrina. Right: Maroney and 13-year-old Brown reunite. tion. It reminded him of a deployment to Afghanistan.

On day seven of the Katrina mission, cue helicopter to the rooftop. What he did The little girl wrapped herself around “I had come back from a bad deploy- Maroney saw a family on the roof of their not know was 3-year-old LeShay Brown him as he began to pull her to safety. Piercment, real bad,� he said. “We didn’t pick up home flagging for help. Strapped in and would lift his spirits higher than a heliMilitary Ad July 2015_9.417x6.25 No Pionner_Layout 1 9/28/15 1:40 PM Page 1 KATRINA GIRL, continued on Page 16 anyone alive.� ready to go, he was lowered from his res- copter.

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Team Red White and Blue race slated for Veterans’ Day Every one of us is touched by someone who has served or is serving in a branch of the military. It could be a friend, a spouse, son or daughter. As regular citizens, we truly don’t understand what it means to serve our country with the strength, hard work and dedication of our active duty and veteran population.

Being in the forefront of every conflict worldwide, they strive to keep our country safe each and every day. For that, we are thankful as a community. For many of these brave patriots, however, the transition from active to non-active duty can often be a difficult process.

With that in mind, ISM Sports has partnered with Team Red White and Blue San Diego for the second annual Team RWB 5k/10k Race and Kids Boot Camp. Scheduled for November 7, 2015, the event will take place at Robb Field in Ocean Beach featuring a beautiful waterfront course.

Proceeds will benefit TRWB. Founded in 2010 by Mike Erwin, an active major in the US Army, Team RWB is an all-volunteer organization that offers free membership to veterans. Its mission is to enrich the lives of American veterans by connecting them to their community through physical and social activity. Erwin addressed the need for consistent, local, daily support and opportunities for veterans. Today, with 100 chapters all over the country, Team RWB delivers opportunities to connect veterans through weekly fitness activities, monthly social events, and participation in local races. This month TRWB has created a health and wellness program at Veteran’s Village SD to engage those veterans in regular physical activities and to help create positive team–building experiences.

Scott Thorne is just one of the many members that Team RWB has supported.

Thorne, a courageous and highly trained Army veteran who served in the Iraq War in 2004, was ambushed in Mosul, Iraq and suffered brain damage and lost the majority of his eyesight due to a bullet lodged in his brain. He was medically retired in 2008 and struggled to integrate back into daily life. TRWB has helped in that struggle through a service project at his house, assistance with travel to a TRWB triathlon camp and the use of a custom made tandem bike, which allowed him to participate in events with his fellow TRWB team members. “The San Diego Chapter has been providing services to over 700 local veterans for more than two years. Nationally, Team RWB has grown to over 50,000 member veterans and is growing by 500 members nationwide every week. This is our big annual event- we need all the support of our community to help raise money and awareness for our programs and continue to help members like Scott�, states Joshua Arnston, San Diego Chapter Captain and Navy Veteran.

Taking place on Veterans Day Weekend, The 10k run will begin at 8:00 a.m. and the 5k will begin at 8:15 a.m. All participants will receive an event T-shirt and challenge coin. After the races, there will be an awards ceremony, drinks, snacks, music and entertainment as well as vendor booths and an opportunity to interact with military service dogs. To learn more about Team RWB, register for the event or for sponsorship information, please visit the website at www.teamrwbrun.com , like us on Facebook at Team RWB 5k/10k or call 858-836-0133 'PS BEWFSUJTJOH JOGPSNBUJPO DBMM t BEWFSUJTJOH!NJMJUBSZQSFTT DPN

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HOW TO:Survive a nuclear

The Cold War ended over two decades ago, and many people have never lived under the shadow of nuclear and radiological threats. Still, a nuclear attack is a very real threat. Global politics are far from stable, and human nature has changed none in the last two decades. “The most persistent sound which reverberates through man’s history is the beating of war drums,� said author Arthur Koestler. As long as nuclear weapons exist, there is always the danger they will be used.

Is nuclear war survivable? Only predictions exist, as some say yes, others say no.

Keep in mind that modern thermonuclear weapons are many hundreds, and in the case of the largest weapons, several thousand times more powerful than the bombs dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki in 1945.

We really do not fully understand what will happen when thousands of these weapons are detonated at the same time.

For some, especially those in large population centers, it may seem like an entirely futile endeavor. If it is survived at all, it will be by those who are mentally and logistically prepared for such an event and that live in very remote areas with no strategic significance.

2. If you were close to a nuclear blast, get away from the mushroom cloud as quickly as possible.

Within 10 to 20 minutes, lethal amounts of radiation will begin falling to the earth from the mushroom cloud. Survivors should move as far from the epicenter as they can. If you can’t get away from the blast zone immediately, shelter in place under as much concrete and dirt as possible. Basements and underground parking structures are good.

1. Don’t look at the blast but do duck, cover, and keep your mouth open.

The initial blast will blind just about everyone looking at it, so don’t. Opening your mouth will lower the pressure difference between your sinuses and the atmosphere and save your ear drums from bursting. Finally, those close to the epicenter need to duck and cover to avoid some of the falling debris and the force of the initial explosion.

3. Move perpendicular to the wind from the blast.

Once you’re away from the initial blast, you need to move perpendicular to the wind from the blast. Moving downwind would keep you in the path of falling radioactive dust, while moving upwind would put you back under the collapsing mushroom cloud.

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6. Get to aid and immediately shower.

As soon as you’ve escaped the area — at least 8 miles for a 10-kiloton bomb — shed your clothes and shower. Your skin will have been covered in radioactive particles as you walked. Showering will remove some of them and reduce your exposure. If you are able to find an aid station, military specialists will generally begin your treatment by scrubbing you down.

4. Cover your skin and breathe through a filter.

Covering your skin reduces the amount of radiation that can reach your skin and breathing through a filter reduces how much can get into your lungs. You may have to improvise a filter from a shirt or other fabric. Cover your eyes to protect your sight if possible, but not if it stops or slows your evacuation.

5. Stick to shelter when you’re not moving, but get out of town.

The radiation cloud will continue to settle for the next few days, so getting out of the targeted city is best even if it takes a day or two. But you should always shelter when not in motion. Keep dirt and concrete between you and the atmosphere if at all possible.

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0DU 11

‘Freedom has many difficulties and democracy is not perfect, but we have never had to put a wall up to keep our people in, to prevent them from leaving us.’ John F. Kennedy 35th U.S. President Served Jan. 20, 1961 – Nov. 22, 1963

ivers his “I Have a Dream�

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Speech

Lyndon Johnson, 37th U.S. Vice President

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12 0DU

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t (FPSHF 8BMMBDF CFDPNFT HPWFSOPS of Alabama on Jan. 14. In his inaugural speech, he defiantly proclaims “segregation now, segregation tomorrow, and segregation forever!� t 5IF "MDBUSB[ 'FEFSBM 1FOJUFOUJBSZ PO Alcatraz Island in San Francisco Bay closes March 21. t .BSUJO -VUIFS ,JOH +S 3BMQI "Cernathy, Fred Shuttlesworth and others are arrested in a Birmingham, Alabama protest for “parading without a permit�

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0DU 13

TOP 10 SEX TIPS FOR MEN Teeth brushed, socks off? Here’s a list of Top 10 sex tips for men.

1. Men aren’t irresistible and not all women are desperate for sex. Good lovemaking starts long before you reach the bedroom, so before any date, have a bath.

Everyone smells: some women like the smell of male sweat, others don’t, but no one likes the smell of stale sweat.

Watching steaming movies can help things along.

2. Sexual gymnastics are often distracting. Chopping and changing positions and techniques can make a woman’s sexual excitement plummet.

3. Thrusting for hours without climaxing doesn’t make you a stud muffin. It does make her numb and sore.

4. Don’t assume your partner is comfortable in her own skin.

A survey of 3,500 British women, by the bathroom equipment company SHUC, found that one woman in 10 feels so embarrassed about her body that she turns the lights out before taking off her clothes.

The average woman still spends a lot of so be sensitive to her insecurities and, if time every day beating herself up about you think that your partner looks great, for her weight and looks.

God’s sake tell her.

Nakedness increases that vulnerability, 5. There’s more to sex than pushing the

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right button. Men have discovered that the key to female orgasm is stimulation, and many now rub the lamp rather than poking around inside it.

The upside is that women are climaxing more often but the increase in emphasis on genital manipulation has made for some very mechanical sex. Going straight to the erogenous zones is the equivalent of fast forward.

Men who focus on left breast, right breast and genitals reduce their partner to a set of body parts.

6. Be polite. Never nudge your partner’s head towards your nether regions. During fellatio don’t thrust into your partner’s mouth, don’t hold the side of her head — and definitely warn her when you think it’s

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that time. With regard to orgasm, always operate a ladies-first policy.

7. Make certain that your partner knows how attractive you find her by paying as much attention to kissing her, complimenting her and generally spoiling her.

Don’t neglect the breasts and other erogenous zones.

8. Though clitoral orgasm is easy to achieve, most women want to experience penetrative orgasm. Intercourse is the ultimate connection between man and woman and the sensation of fullness that it creates is intensely pleasurable.

9. Women are slow burners. They take longer to become aroused and get as much pleasure, if not more, out of tenderness, kissing and cuddling.

Though quickie sex has its place, for women on the whole, the longer sex takes, the better it feels. If arousal is allowed to build gradually, it floods the whole body rather than being confined to the genital area and a delayed orgasm is infinitely more powerful than an orgasm induced by five minutes of digital manipulation.

10. Put a little X in your sex. Watching steamy movies with your partner if you both agree!

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SELFIES MORE DEADLY THAN SHARK ATTACKS

By Lily Hay Newman Slate Last month a 66-year-old Japanese man traveling in India fell down a staircase while attempting to take a selfie and died. It’s increasingly obvious that people choose bad moments to take selfies, so now the conversation is turning to comparisons. And apparently selfies have become more dangerous than a lot of already scary-sounding things.

Take shark attacks. As of Sept. 4, the International Shark Attack File at the Florida Museum of Natural History had recorded six fatal shark attacks worldwide in 2015, according to National Geographic. Meanwhile, a Reuters article published Sept. 3 described dozens of 2015 selfie deaths and injuries in Russia alone. The country has had to launch public safety campaigns to warn people about the potential dangers of snapping a pic. One poster says, “A cool selfie could cost you your life.�

In August a man trying to take a selfie was gored to death during a running of the bulls in Villaseca de la Sagra, Spain. And there have been numerous bison attacks following attempted selfies in Yellowstone National Park.

Some groups have been trying to get on top of the wave. In June Disney banned selfie sticks in its amusement parks. And

foreseeing the selfie crisis in a very specific way, New York State passed a bill in June 2014 to prohibit people from having their photo taken (or taking it themselves) while “hugging, patting or otherwise touching tigers.� There was already a snake selfierelated injury in 2015.

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Given the classic advice “never turn your back on the ocean,� you’d think it would go without saying that that applies to a bunch of other dangerous things, too. But apparently not!

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0DU 15

KATRINA GIRL Continued from Page 8 ing the fog of his deployment, and this mission, was Brown’s bright smile, he said.

Once in the helicopter, the frightened little girl kept holding onto him. A combat photographer captured the moment, which became a symbol to the country of heroism amidst devastating circumstances. To Maroney, the moment carried much more meaning. “When we were going to drop her off she wrapped me in a hug ‌ that hug was everything.

Time stopped,� Maroney said. “Words fail to express what that hug means to me.�

The rescue team eventually delivered Brown and her family safely to the FEMA camp. Although Maroney and the Browns went their separate ways, every year around Sept. 6 Maroney would think about the little girl who had hugged away his burden. Where was she? How was she doing?

In 2010, Maroney decided he had to

find the little girl who saved him.

He did not know her name, where she went after Katrina or anything else about her. He turned to social media hoping to find help. “Every year around the anniversary I would post it (the now famous photo) asking if anyone knew her or if anyone recognized her,� he said.

Then last year, help came from Michigan high schooler Andrew Goard who

“A couple months ago my son got an Instagram message from one of Brown’s friends. They had moved to Tennessee and she kept the same smile as in the picture,�

Maroney said.

After verifying the identity of Brown, his “Katrina Girl,� he said he was dazed and nervous. “I waited a day to text them.�

When he finally contacted the family, he and Brown’s mother talked about the family’s time during Katrina and the years after. “When I had pulled them out they had gone five days without food,� Maroney said.

After being dropped off at the FEMA camp, the Browns were moved to Memphis, Tennessee. They eventually returned to New Orleans and have since moved to Waveland, Mississippi.

Finally, they talked about a reunion.

Thanks to the talk show “The Real,� Maroney and the Browns were provided that opportunity.

On Sept. 15, Maroney and Brown embraced again. Now 13 years old, Brown is an honor-roll student and plays on the basketball team. Maroney continues his Air Force Reserve career as a master sergeant with the 308th Rescue Squadron at Patrick Air Force Base, Florida.

When not in uniform, Maroney helps young people who want to be pararescue specialists or combat controllers. He also volunteers for several military affiliated organizations.

Since the reunion, the Maroney and Brown families have grown closer. “I keep the picture of us on my wall,�

Maroney said.

He and Brown’s mother also text each other almost every day, sharing jokes, he added. “In my line of work you don’t get a lot of happy days, so when you get them you grab them and hold onto them for all they’re worth,� he said.

‘He said helping me was his mission, and he blasted everything on social media.’ coined the name “Katrina Girl� after messaging Maroney about her. “He said helping me was his mission, and he blasted everything on social media. I went from a couple hundred likes to thousands,� Maroney said. “I went on every talk show there is, telling my story.�

The viral hashtag, #findkatrinagirl, formed by Goard had started a nationwide search.

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est. 2001

Golf classic launches military day The PGA Champions Tour’s Toshiba Classic, celebrating its 21st year of play in 2015, announced today its inaugural Military Appreciation Day presented by VerdeWatts on Oct. 31.

As part of Military Appreciation Day, which will benefit the One/One Foundation and the Open Hearts for Purple Hearts Foundation, all former and active military members and up to three of their guests will be honored with complimentary admission and food and beverage to thank them for their service to our country. To pre-register, eligible military members can visit http://www.toshibaclassic. com/military-appreciation-day/.

Additionally, the tournament will have a Military Appreciation Village, an interactive area open to the public Friday, Saturday and Sunday, allowing patrons of the Toshiba Classic to participate in the “Chip in for Heroes� donation program, “Message for Military,� and the Flak Jacket Putting Contest. “It really means a lot to all of us involved with the Toshiba Classic to honor all former and active military through the tournament’s first Military Appreciation Day,� said Jeff Purser, Executive Director, Hoag Charity Sports – Toshiba Classic. “Southern California has an immense military population, and we’re excited to play a small role in giving back for the incredible sacrifices they make for all of us each and every day.�

SIMPSONS Continued from Page 2 This would effectively immortalize “The Simpsons,� keeping their continuity on an endless time loop. The fact that Jean has already admitted this idea publicly probably kills the likelihood that it will ever happen, but still it’s food for thought.

While “The Simpsons� continues to garner great ratings, there are some who have begun to feel the series has perhaps overstayed its welcome in our lives. Most of the episodes thought of as classics occurred some time in the mid 1990’s – “Who Shot Mr. Burns,� and “You Only Move Twice� – with recent seasons opting more for shock value and gimmicks. These stunts include overwhelming celebrity cameos, killing off secondary characters, and even the rumors that this season would see Homer and Marge divorce.

The end of “The Simpsons� will mark the end of a television era. After possibly 30 seasons, a movie – with a potential sequel on the way – and countless tie-ins, the series has touched the lives of billions around the world. If and when the creative team (or Fox) decides to call it quits, we can rest assured the show will go out with a bang.

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Military experience doesn’t prepare for private success

By Scott Beauchamp

Those considered successful in America seem, at least superficially, to cover a fairly broad spectrum: the business entrepreneur, the pop star, the professional athlete, perhaps a surgeon. Yet while their success derives from very different activities, one feature they all share in common is wealth.

To be successful in America means to be rich, and much of our culture is monomaniacally focused on getting rich.

There is one major subset of Americans

By Norman L. Macht for whom this is not the case, who have MilitaryPress not put making money at the center of their lives: service members. And it shows: very investor should be aware Many retired service members are not doof the miracle of compounding well once they enter the private sector. ing. It’s especially important As former Federal Reserve Chairman Ben for anyone seeking long-term Bernanke said at a Brookings Institution growth. event last month, “If you go into the miliEverything you invest in should protary at age 18 — versus an identical person vide the option to reinvest dividends. who stays in the private sector and takes a Most stocks, but not all ETFs, give you private sector job — 10 years later, if you that chance. Here’s how it works and leave the military, your skills and wages are why it’s so beneficial. probably not going to be as quite as high Say you buy a stock or ETF or mutual on average as the private-sector person.� fund that pays a three percent dividend Living as we do in a climate where to say — more if it’s a fund that distributes anything that could be vaguely construed capital gains or returns of capital. But as “anti-troop� is anathema, his remarks let’s use 4 percent. You buy 100 shares were quite controversial. at $10. During the year it pays 40 cents To give some context, the subject of the a share — $40 — in dividends. To simBrookings event was “defense spending plify, let’s assume the stock stays at $10. and its economic impacts,� and BernanIf the dividends were reinvested, at the ke’s comments were referring to the cost end of one year you’d have 104 shares. of maintaining a 1.4 million-person miliThe second year’s dividend is now paid tary—which he believes could be offset by on 104 shares, so you’d receive $41.60, better training service members to enter which if reinvested, brings your investthe workforce once they leave the military. ment to 108.16 shares. In the third year In making his case, Bernanke specifically you’d receive $43.26; raising your total referenced the average unemployment rate shares to about 112.49. of 7 percent for vets returning to the private Extend the math out 20 or 30 years sector, higher than the national average of and you’ll be astounded at the difference 5.3 percent. If veterans were better able to it can make. contribute to the general economy once Of course, the increase in your numthey separated from the service, America ber of shares will vary, depending on the could more efficiently maintain a large price fluctuations of the stock. It’s actumilitary. The case that Bernanke is makally to your benefit if the stock price is ing might seem cold and removed, but it’s a lower during these years, as that enables characteristically unsentimental argument your reinvested dividends to buy more coming as it does from one of the nation’s shares. Being happy about your stock top economists. price declining along the way requires a Bernanke’s statements miffed some vetlong-term view, but it’s more profitable erans groups. Fred Wellman, 22-year Army than if it does nothing but go up from veteran and CEO of veteran-advocacy the day you buy it. group ScoutComms, commented to ForThe important thing is to always eign Policy, “I am not sure where Mr. Berchoose the option of reinvesting divinanke got his information, but the current dends — which any brokerage firm will numbers just don’t reflect saying military show on its website. And avoid those service does not help you succeed in the ETFs or funds that do not allow it. private sector. The most current surveys Another way to let compounding show that veterans are far more likely to work for you is to raise the amount you be employed than non-veterans and earn save and invest by whatever percentage higher median incomes in those jobs.� you’re comfortable with and can afford.

Robert L. Gordon III, retired Army colonel Successful young retirement planners and current head of the veteran-advocacy put aside the first money they make group Got Your 6, wrote in the Huffington each month or year rather than what’s Post that Bernanke’s statements add to left over at the end of the month or year. the misconception that veterans are “broIt’s called “paying yourself first.� ken heroes,� a myth belied by the fact that The same principle works for income veterans “vote, volunteer, and help [their] investors who do not need the immedineighbors� at higher rates than their civilate cash payout. It’s a way to see your ian counterparts. Gordon also pointed out that, according to the Bureau of Labor StaMONEY, continued on Page 20 'PS BEWFSUJTJOH JOGPSNBUJPO DBMM t BEWFSUJTJOH!NJMJUBSZQSFTT DPN

For longterm, always compound

E

tistics, unemployment among all veterans over 18 is actually lower than the national average.

The back and forth with facts and figures is interesting, but one can’t help but feel that something fundamental is missing from the conversation. The military isn’t solely a jobs program, or a jobs-training program, and for many it is that disconnect from the marketplace that is the strength and appeal of military service.

This was certainly the case in my own experience enlisting as an infantry soldier in the Army, though it wasn’t until after I separated from the military that I really was able to fully suss out the reasons I had joined. When friends would ask why I joined, I would usually struggle to come up with a response that they would understand, whether it was a family history of service or the GI Bill, before eventually

asking a question of my own: “Would your coworkers die for you?� Intense, to be sure, but the question illuminates the different mental and moral frameworks we were operating under. I joined the infantry specifically because I wanted a role in the military that didn’t have a civilian counterpart (unlike, say, becoming a medic or cook) precisely because I wanted to experience the intensity of purpose and camaraderie that simply doesn’t exist within the framework of our civilian economy. I wanted to serve my country, but I wanted to serve it in a way that placed me outside the rationale of neoliberal consumerism.

CUNY Anthropology and Geography professor David Harvey, perhaps the preeminent scholar of neoliberalism today, describes our current socio-economic sysSUCCESS, continued on Page 20

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0DU 17

“Please, don’t tell your mom. Here’s $10.�

The boy then runs to his mom, “I know your secret!� The mom said, “Please, don’t tell your dad. Here’s $15.�

The boy then decides to try it on the mailman. “I know your secret!� The mailman opened his arms and said, “Come, give your dad a hug!�

Just for

Laughs Oil futures

True love

I was out for a drink with the wife last night and I said, “I love you.� “Is that you or the beer talking?� she asked me. “It’s me,� I said. “I’m talking to the beer!�

Nice watch

A cowboy walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman.

He gives her a quick glance then causally looks at his watch for a moment.

The woman notices this and asks, “Is your date running late?� “No�, he replies. “I just got this state-of the-art watch, and I was just testing it.�

The intrigued woman says, “A state-ofthe-art watch? What’s so special about it?�

The cowboy explains, “It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically.�

The lady says, “What’s it telling you now?� “Well, it says you’re not wearing any panties.�

Wordplay The woman giggles and replies, “Well, What starts with “F� and ends with it must be broken because I am wearing “UCK?� “FIRETRUCK!� What were you thinking? panties!�

The cowboy smiles, taps his watch and What starts with “P� and ends with says, “Damn thing’s an hour fast.� “ORN?� ... “POPCORN!�

What were you thinking?!?!?!

A young boy is at the kitchen table with his father eating breakfast. “Dad, where does olive oil come from?� he asks. “It comes from olives, my boy,� the father replies. “Where does vegetable oil come from?� “Well, that comes from vegetables,� the father says.

Still inquisitive, the son asks, “What about baby oil?�

Silence.

Keep a secret

Going mental

PUZZLES

Two boys were talking and the one said to the other, “There is a easy way to get what you want.�

The other boy said, “How?� The boy replied, “Tell people you know their secret.�

The boy jumps up and runs to his dad, “I know your secret!� The dad replies,

18 0DU

ACROSS 1. Stair 5. Harvard rival 9. Writing fluids 13. Hello 14. Set straight 16. Drudgery 17. Portent 18. A skin disease 19. Game on horseback 20. An official in India 22. Inexhaustible 24. Computer symbol 26. Connecting points 27. Meal provider 30. Alabaster 33. Decoration 35. Mortise and _____ 37. Born as 38. Sunrises 41. Fitting 42. Follow as a result 45. Balm 48. Off course 51. In the direction of 52. Go in 54. Containers 55. Burrowed (British spelling) 59. Fence “doors�

62. Historical periods 63. Communion table 65. Cypher 66. 13 in Roman numerals 67. Apologetic 68. Prospector’s find 69. Gangly 70. Awakened 71. Biblical kingdom

There was this man in a mental hospital. All day he would put his ear to the wall and listen. The doctor would watch this guy do this day after day. So the doctor finally decided to see what the guy was listening to, so he put his ear up to the wall and listened. He heard nothing.

So he turned to the mental patient and

opened it. A genie appeared and thanked said, “I don’t hear anything.� “Yeah, I know,� the mental patient re- the man for letting him out.

The genie said, “For your kindness I will plied. “It’s been like that for months!� grant you a wish, but only one.�

Laundry day The man thought for a minute and One day my housework-challenged said, “I have always wanted to visit Hahusband decided to wash his sweatshirt. waii but have never been able to because Seconds after he stepped into the laundry I’m afraid of flying and ships make me room, he shouted to me, “What setting do seasick. So I wish for a road to be built I use on the washing machine?� from here to Hawaii.� “It depends,� I replied. “What does it say The genie thought for a minute and on your shirt?� said, “No, I don’t think I can do that. Just He yelled back, “OHIO STATE!� And think of all the work involved: The pilings they say blondes are dumb! needed to hold up the highway, how deep they would have to be to reach the bottom Genies have limits of the ocean. Think of all the pavement One day a man was walking along the that would be needed. No, that is just too beach and found a bottle. He looked much to ask.� around and didn’t see anyone, so he The man thought for a minute and then told the genie, “Well, there is one other thing that I have always wanted. I would like to be able to understand my wife. What makes her laugh and cry, why is she temperamental, why is she so difficult to get along with? Basically, what makes her tick?�

The genie considered for a few minutes and said, “So, do you want two lanes or four?�

Look out

I came over to my blonde friend the other day and said, “Hey look, a dead bird.�

She looked up in the sky and said, “Where?�

DOWN 1. Not barefoot 2. An indefinite period 3. Spectator 4. Remedy 5. Sweet potato 6. Winglike 7. Flax fabric 8. Christmas drink 9. Stalemate 10. Newbie (slang) 11. Murder 12. Blackthorn

15. Poverty-stricken 21. Standard 23. Cried 25. Require 27. Ice cream holder 28. Drome 29. Ribonucleic acid 31. Comprehended 32. Pile 34. Pair 36. Catches 39. Louse-to-be 40. Prig 43. Implement

44. Sea eagle 46. Branchlet 47. Handcuff 49. Collection of maps 50. Lemon or canary 53. Backward-looking 55. Words 56. Murres 57. Found on a finger 58. Not light 60. Cocoyam 61. Appear 64. Type of whiskey

SUDOKU The rules to play Sudoku are quite simple. Fill in the blanks so that each row, each column, and each of the nine 3x3 grids contain one instance of each of the numbers 1 through 9.

This week’s solutions:

Seduction

A very attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender, who comes over immediately.

When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers.

When he does so, she begins to gently caress his full beard. “Are you the manager?� she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands. “Actually, no,� the man replies. “Can you LAUGHS, continued on Page 22

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MAGER

The Endzone: An All-Sun Belt and AllWAC player for the Bobcats, Mager finContinued from Page 4 ished his collegiate career with eight interyou have to make your weaknesses your ceptions, 211 tackles, 47 passes defensed, strong points and maintain it throughout 9.5 tackles for loss and a pair of sacks. the whole season.

When asked his thoughts when he saw AG: That being said, what do you feel his first NFL check Mager said, “It was just you need to work on? a blessing because at the end of the day, evCM: I’m not going to get beat over the CM: I go to my aunt, my mom’s sister. feel she’s just like me. I can call her if I ever erybody in the world would want to be in top ‌ I feel like I’m a real conservative, She’s actually had a rough life too after los- need anything. She helps me out with ev- my position and I’m just trying not to take but I can still get better at tackling. I feel ing my mom, her mom and she actually erything and tells me the dos and don’ts in it for granted and I continue to thank the like I’m a solid tackler and I can make lost another sister 10 years earlier — so I life. She’s definitely my rock.

Lord for my blessings.� open-field tackles but the straight technique — it’s a little bit different out here in the NFL (where) the guys are much bigger and faster, so you really have to focus on your technique. Everybody is a good athAny Dry Cleaning lete so it’s the technicians that really sepaOr Alteration

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0DU 19

MONEY

wouldn’t suggest holding bonds, which are not as safe and yield less than FDICContinued from Page 17 insured CDs), the only way to reinvest individend income increase each year until terest payments is to buy another CD with the time when you need to receive the in- the interest you’ve received if it’s enough. come. The change from one status to an- You may have to wait until it adds up to at other is an easy checkmark on your bro- least $1,000 to do so. ker’s website.

You cannot automatically reinvest in- A retired stockbroker, Norman L. Macht is a terest payments on CDs or bonds. If you personal financial consultant residing in Esconare nearing retirement and have say, a 60- dido. Contact him via email at normanmacht@ 40 or 50-50 balance of stocks and CDs (I yahoo.com.

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SUCCESS Continued from Page 17 tem in his book A Brief History of Neoliberalism as “in short, the financialization of everything.� Under the pretext of advancing the cause of individual freedom, market forces spread and commodify—or transform goods and services into salable items—in an effort to expand the market. The concrete examples that spring to mind are for-profit prisons, hospitals, and schools. But the process is sophisticated enough to incorporate all sorts of things not traditionally adorned with “For Sale� signs. Companies have attempted to patent—and in some cases succeeded—things like seeds, human genetic material, and the human genome in the last decade. Product placement in movies, and its Fourth Estate equivalent of sponsored content, has blurred the line between art and commercials, journalism and advertising. Even our relationships, mitigated through the marketized filter of dating aps or online services, have been commodified. As Michael J. Sandel wrote for The Atlantic in 2012, “Today, the logic of buying and selling no longer applies to material goods alone. It

increasingly governs the whole of life.�

There aren’t many opportunities to escape the dictates and demands of the neoliberalism. And that’s one of the problems it presents: homogeneity. It’s an ironic diagnosis for an economic and social system nominally predicated upon servicing peoples’ desires. Marketization can give you anything you want, as long as it has a price tag.

Psychologist Paul Verhaeghe describes the qualities of one adrift in a totally transactional society as being superficial, manipulative, risk-averse, and childish. He writes, “This description is, of course, a caricature taken to extremes. Nevertheless, the financial crisis illustrated at a macrosocial level (for example, in the conflicts between eurozone countries) what a neoliberal meritocracy does to people. Solidarity becomes an expensive luxury and makes way for temporary alliances, the main preoccupation always being to extract more profit from the situation than your competition. Social ties with colleagues weaken, as does emotional commitment to the enterprise or organisation.� All relations become transactional, and the atomized self a nodule in an unbroken loop of production and consumption.

MERCY Continued from Page 7 “Some of the SMEEs were hands on, actually performing skill sets and others were more give-and-take lectures. It was fascinating to get together with their emergency response people, city leaders, county folks and really discuss what they would do if there were a massive disaster in their area.�

After visiting four countries and seven mission ports, PP15 personnel said they were eager to return to their friends and family after playing a vital role in improving disaster response preparedness in the Indo-Asia-Pacific region. Those ashore were happy they are home too, and proud of the work they have done. “To see what these men and women and this ship have accomplished over

these past four and a half month is really amazing,� said Vice Adm. Nora Tyson, U.S. Commander 3rd Fleet. “Everyone from the medical personnel to the MSC crew to the mission staff worked together, focused their efforts and successfully completed the largest multinational HA/DR preparedness mission in the Pacific. We thank them for their hard work and dedication, and welcome them home today.�

Pacific Partnership is in its tenth iteration and is the largest annual multilateral humanitarian assistance and disaster relief preparedness mission conducted in the Indo-Asia-Pacific region. Pacific Partnership began in response to one of the world’s most catastrophic natural disasters, the December 2004 tsunami that devastated parts of Southeast Asia. Along with other nations, the United States responded to the tragedy, deploying U.S. Navy assets, including the Mercy, which later returned to the region in 2006 for the first Pacific Partnership mission.

ADMIRAL Continued from Page 6 Lyons addressed it as an embarrassment to all Americans and a signal to the Islamic Jihad movement. He states it is one of many signals Obama has sent over the years.

In a recap of the last decades, he states quite bluntly that the US has had “many opportunities to change the course of history,� starting with the Carter administration and the embarrassment of the Iran Hostage crisis. He says instead of changing history, American leaders have failed to act time and time again, leading to our current crisis. “Here we are today,� he said. “Political correctness has neutralized all our military leadership.�

20 0DU

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Future Yankees catcher and baseball Hall-of-Famer Yogi Berra (left) about to ship out for Normandy.

D-DAY Continued from Page 5 “Being a young guy, you didn‘t think nothing of it until you got in it,� Berra told MSNBC in 2004. “And so we went off 300 yards off beach. We protect the troops. If they ran into any trouble, we would fire the rockets over. We had a lead boat that would fire one rocket. If it hits the beach, then everybody opens up. We could fire one rocket if we wanted to, or we could

fire off 24 or them, 12 on each side. We stretched out 50 yards apart. And that was the invasion.�

Years later Berra admitted being haunted by visions of the drowned soldiers he fished out of the water. “Later on when it sinks in, you get scared,� he said. “I sit and I thank the good lord I was in the Navy,� Berra said. “We ate good, clean clothes, clean bed. You see some of these Army men, what they went through, that’s the ones I felt for.�

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0DU 21

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light, and finds him holding a vibrator.

She goes ballistic. “You impotent phony!

Continued from Page 18 How could you lie to me all these years?� get him for me?� she asks. “I need to speak The husband looks her straight in the to him,� she says, running her hands be- eyes and calmly says, “I’ll explain the toy yond his beard and into his hair. — you explain the kids!� “I’m afraid I can’t,� breathes the bartender. “Is there anything I can do?�

Talented toad “Yes, there is. I need you to give him a A woman walks into a pet store wanting message,� she continues huskily, popping a to buy a pet for her husband, but she finds couple of fingers into his mouth and allow- all the pets are so, so expensive. ing him to suck them gently.

The woman says to the clerk at the “What should I tell him?� the bartender counter, “I’m looking to buy a pet for my manages to say. husband, but I’m on a very short budget.� “Tell him,� she whispers. “There is no “No worries,� replies the clerk. “We’ve toilet paper or hand soap in the woman’s just ordered in a very large bullfrog that room.� can give pleasure to a man!� “Great,� says the woman, buying the Bedroom lies frog, thinking it would be a great gag gift.

A husband always insisted on making She goes home and gives the frog to her love in the dark. husband explaining the frog’s talent.

After 20 years, his wife turns on the With a laugh the husband walks off 22 0DU

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leaving the frog in the kitchen.

In the middle of the night the woman wakes up to the sound of pots and pans flying around in the kitchen.

She goes down to find her husband and the frog reading cookbooks. “What are you two doing?� she asks. “Well,� says the husband. “If I can teach this frog to cook you are outta here.�

Multiculturalism

An Italian, a Scotsman, and a Chinese fellow were hired at a construction site.

The foreman pointed out a huge pile of sand and told the Italian guy, “You’re in charge of sweeping.� To the Scotsman he said, “You’re in charge of shoveling.� And to the Chinese guy, “You’re in charge of supplies.�

He then said, “Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you guys to make a dent in that there pile.�

The foreman went away for a couple hours, and when he returned, the pile of sand was untouched. He asked the Italian, “Why didn’t you sweep any of it?�

The Italian replied, “I no hava no broom. You said to the Chinese fella that he a wasa in a charge of supplies, but he hasa disappeared and I no coulda finda him nowhere.�

Then the foreman turned to the Scotsman and said, “And you, I thought I told you to shovel this pile.�

The Scotsman replied, “Aye, ye did lad, boot ah couldnay get meself a shoovel! Ye left th’ Chinese gadgie in chairge of supplies, boot ah couldnay fin’ him either.�

The foreman was really angry by now and stormed off toward the pile of sand to look for the Chinese guy.

Just then, the Chinese guy jumped out from behind the pile of sand and yelled... “SUPPLIES!�

XXX NJMJUBSZQSFTT DPN t FEJUPSTEFTL!NJMJUBSZQSFTT DPN

WE SUPPORT OUR TROOPS Marcus  A.  Minter

PATERNITY ATTORNEY

Minter  Realty  Group

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DENISE E. OXLEY, ATTORNEY CALL NOW! (858) 486-4823

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this swap meet is huge!

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Carnival Rides, Pony Rides, Farmers Market & Delicious Food!

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Let A Professional Handle Your Most Valuable Investment I SUPPORT OUR TROOPS! I will contribute $500 toward the closing costs of anyone who has served in the military.

FOR MILITARY & THEIR FAMILY &

BUY 1 GET 1 FREE, SUNDAYS

$5

ATTENTION ACTIVE MILITARY PERSONNEL:

DO YOUR GARAGE SALE ON SATURDAY HERE!

Vendor Booth Space Reserved Location (Valued Reg. at $15)

COME BY OR CALL 760-966-3160 TO RESERVE * With this ad

Oceanside Swap Meet, 3480 Mission Ave (at the old drive-in) oceansideswapmeet.com

Thank you for your service!

Alexandra McGee, Realtor (858) 264-6574 alexandra.mcgee@kw.com www.alexandramcgee.com

KW Carmel Valley / Del Mar 12780 High Bluff Dr., Suite 130 San Diego, CA 92130

CA BRE# 01964627

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92108 ¡ 619-800-4449 24/7 CALL NOW! 760-529-9910 Show your support, too! Call (858) 537-2280 'PS BEWFSUJTJOH JOGPSNBUJPO DBMM t BEWFSUJTJOH!NJMJUBSZQSFTT DPN

0DU 23

A

CLASSIFIEDS ATTORNEY

DUIs, Divorce, Bankruptcy Also available: Automobile/Personal Injury, Trusts & Wills

Law Offices of Robert T. Plumb, II

619-437-4261 www.PlumbLawFirm.com Coronado/San Diego

MILITARY DISCOUNTS AVAILABLE CONFIDENTIAL C O M F O RT -LDA- PARALEGAL

Divorce $525-$675

Includes Mediation Will & Trust $525 Name Change, Judgements & Debt Collections

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HELP WANTED No Experience Necessary 619-495-2279 or 619-434-6050

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$$ Most Cash Paid $$ For Cars, Trucks, SUV's & RV's. Running or Not. Lost title okay.

Fast Free Towing

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FOR SALE

AWESOME OPPORTUNITY Awards/Trophy business for sale.

Turn-key operation. All equipment, products & supplies, including engraver.

$19,725 OBO. 858-805-5555 24 0DU

FOR SALE

NEW

MATTRESSES

All sizes with factory warranty.

Many styles, pillow top, orthopedic, Queen sets as low as $169

800.464.6420 mattresscodirect.com

THIS SPACE FOR SALE!

Reach the San Diego military community with a classified ad in the MilitaryPress!

Call 858-537-2280 HOME IMPROVEMENT

SOLAR

$0 Down. $3.50 Per Watt.

No Qual. 20-yr Financing.

Payment 100% Deductable.

30% Federal Tax Credit.

References Available JIM SPIELMAKER

760-583-3852

A+

Lic# B-C10-C33-C36

HELP WANTED PART TIME Guest Service Agent/Marketing Agent Responsible for providing quality guest services, including registration and checkout, PBX operations, mail and message services. Looking for an experienced, upbeat professional/ relationship builder/strong communicator/and creative client-focused problem solver. Experience with Airbnb a plus, but not required. Just familiarize yourself with Airbnb before submitting resume.

Pay commensurate with experience.

Submit resume to:

hoteloccidentalsandiego@gmail.com

(858) 537-2280

HELP WANTED

HELP WANTED

PROTECT YOUR MILITARY CAREER

;V WSHJL HU HK]LY[PZLTLU[ VY MVY TVYL PUMVYTH[PVU JHSS

Care Provider for Developmentally Disabled Adults FULL TIME LIVE IN Positions in San Marcos and Vista for live in house manager (weekends off), private staff quarters.

Six residents per home, one full time staff. We are seeking caring people who can teach independent living skills to the people we serve. Be well organized, responsible, clean DMV report, pass Live Scan Criminal Record Clearance, at least 21 years of age, and possess excellent comprehension of the English language to read, write and instruct.

Looking for a Rewarding Career?

Great Pay & Benefits?

Paid On-The-Job Training?

TRY ABC's CONSTRUCTION APPRENTICESHIP TRAINING PROGRAM AND EARN WHILE YOU LEARN! Great Paid Training Opportunities Available in

&MFDUSPOJD 4ZTUFNT 5FDIOJDJBO q 4IFFU .FUBM Program qualifies for V" #FOFGJUT q .VTU 1SPWJEF )4 EJQMPNB PS (&%

Visit www.abcsd.org for application or call Associated Builders and Contractors San Diego Chapter EOE/MF

CALL 760-471-9494

Care Provider for Developmentally Disabled Adults WEEKENDS

858-513-4700 RENTALS

WANTED

EASTLAKE CHULA VISTA

2 Master Suites, Washer/Dryer, All Appliances included. Fireplace, tile floors, gas grill on patio. Assigned, covered parking. Ground floor unit.

Available December 1st.

THRIFT TRADER

CDâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S - DVDâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S - VINYL

CLOTHING - BOOKS- GOODIES Positions open for weekend relief staff. Hours are from 19Ă&#x160;UĂ&#x160;- 45.99 for Friday 6:00pm thru Sunday 6:00pm (two overnights 20 TRADE required). We have 6 group homes in San Marcos and $1700/mo $1700/deposit 1416 Garnet, Pacific Beach 619-208-7898 Vista, six residents per home and one staff. Be a car858-272-7283 ing person able to teach independent living skills to the 4879 Newport Ave, Ocean Beach people we serve. Be well organized, clean DMV report, 619-222-5011 ThisCriminal ad begins publication with the issue. pass Live Scan Record Clearance, at least 21 2947 El Cajon Blvd. years of age, and possess excellent comprehension of errors and omissions.

619-261-1744 Please proof your ad for typographical the English language to read, write and instruct.

1644 University Ave.

The Military Press will provide initial layout and one revisio Any corrections after this will incur a charge of $75 per ho $

$

If changes are not received by ________________ ad will run as is.

619-282-7283 CALL 760-471-9494 Fax the changes back to 858-578-3882 or call them in to 858-537-2280.

RENTALS INSTRUCTORS If the ad is OK as is, sign and date this page and fax back.

Work w/Adults w/Developmental Disabilities in Lakeside. FT, Xlnt Benefits. $10-$10.25/hr.

Substitutes also needed up to 28 hrs per week $9/hr.

MILITARY SPECIAL Same Day Sign

Publisher: 3JDIBSE 5 .BU[ Customer Service Manager: $BSPM 8JMMJBNT Advertising Manager: 7BMFSJF 4XBJOF SIGNATURE Account Representative: .JDIFMMF )VMM Public Relations: -JTB .BU[ Editor: 5PN $IBNCFST Distribution: %FOOJT 8JOL Contributing Writers: %PVH "HVJMMBSE ,FJUI "OHFMJO &MJTF $PPQFS "SU (BSDJB )PXBSE )JBO +FSJ +BDRVJO 5IF .PWJF .BWFO $BSMPT ,SFNFS )FBUIFS & 4JFHFM

Additional $300 off Deposit!

The ad is OK to print as is: X

Call Unyeway 619-562-6330

RENTALS

NATIONAL CITY Beautiful Move-in Ready, Quiet Lg 1br $900 + $700 deposit Pool, BBQ, Rec Rm, Lndry

Marina 619.477.8000

s "2 from $1527 s2BR from $1624

sTOWNHOME from $1778

Foreclosure Forgiveness Credit Friendly Granite, Wshr/Dryer & Gar's optional, fplcâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s, gated, resort size pool, fitness ctr, tennis, theatre &more.

Prominence 601 S. Twin Oaks Valley Rd.

760-798-2794

The Hotel Occidental

offers great value, location, and hospitality to San Diego locals and world travelers alike. Situated conveniently between Hillcrest and the Gaslamp. Our weekly room rentals start at $190 per week.

Rooms are fully furnished, with all utilities included, and also include a sink, microwave, & mini-fridge.

800-205-9897 / 619-232-1336

$POUBDU 6T Tel 858.537.2280 430 N. Cedar, Escondido, CA 92025 NJMJUBSZQSFTT DPN t FEJUPSTEFTL!NJMJUBSZQSFTT DPN GBDFCPPL DPN NQOFXTQBQFS UXJUUFS DPN NQOFXTQBQFS

DISTRIBUTION %JTUSJCVUFE PO UIF TU BOE UI PG FBDI NPOUI "WBJMBCMF BCPBSE BMM 4BO %JFHP $PVOUZ NJMJUBSZ CBTFT POCPBSE JO QPSU TIJQT BU QBSUJDJQBUJOH "MCFSUTPOT 3BMQIT BOE $74 1IBSNBDJFT 'PS NPSF MPDBUJPOT WJTJU XXX NJMJUBSZQSFTT DPN EJTUSJCVUJPO

SHADOWRIDGE PARK APTS

Same day sign Additional $300 off Deposit 1br from $1509 2br from $1640

Newly remodeled, fplc, W/D, pool, Fitness ctr.

2000 S. Melrose Dr. Vista

760.598.2705

The Military Press Newsmagazine is published semi-monthly on the 1st and the 15th by Military Press Newspaper, a commercial, free-enterprise newspaper. It does not necessarily reflect the opinion of the Department of the Navy and is no way associated with the Department of the Navy. The editorial objective of the Military Press is to promote support for a strong military presence. The opinions and views of the writers whose materials appear herein are those of the writers and not the publisher. Appearance of advertising does not constitute endorsement by the Military Press Newspaper. Consumers should make informed decisions when purchasing products and services, and when considering business opportunities, and research before investing. Subscription by mail is $50 per year to CONUS or FPO addresses.

XXX NJMJUBSZQSFTT DPN t FEJUPSTEFTL!NJMJUBSZQSFTT DPN

Switch to AT&T and get * $300 credit per line.

When you trade in a smartphone and buy any smartphone for $0 down on AT&T Next.

SM

*Req’s porting number & elig. svc. $0 down req’s well-qual. credit. Limited number of people will qualify.

Visit your local AT&T store for details.

Military personnel receive 15% OFF monthly qualified charges.

Tax due at sale. Activation fee $15/line. If wireless svc. is cancelled, remaining AT&T NextSM installment agmt balance is due. $300 Credit: Limited-time offers. Each $300 in credits requires a line ported in and an AT&T Next purch. and an elig. trade-in. $100 switcher bill credit + $200 trade-in credit per eligible line. New lines only. Excludes upgrades. May not be combinable w/other discounts/offers/credits. Select locations. AT&T Next: $0 down req’s elig. installment agmt. Down payment may be req’d. Qual. Service: Req’s qual. postpaid voice & data svc. Excludes GoPhone,® Cricket, Lifeline, Residential Wireless & select discounted plans. Restocking: If returned w/in 14 days, up to $35 fee. Deposit: May be req’d. Device Limit: Purch. limit & limit on total no. of financed devices may apply. $100 Switcher Bill Credit: Req’s porting eligible number to AT&T from an eligible carrier (excludes Cricket) and buying a smartphone on AT&T Next in the same transaction. Must be active & in good standing for 45 days. Credit rec’d w/in 90 days. $200 Trade-in Credit: Smartphone trade-in must be in good, working condition, have at minimum a standard $10 buyback value, and meet AT&T Buyback program requirements. If you purchase via att.com, you will be emailed a promo code after eligible purchase ships to complete trade-in and receive $200 trade-in credit. Code expires not less than 30 days after receipt. Trade-in Credit: Provided either as an instant credit or a promotion card. Private label AT&T Promotion Card (“Card”) issued by MetaBank™ or CenterState Bank of Florida, N.A., via a license from Visa U.S.A. Inc. In AT&T-owned stores you will be provided an instant credit to spend that day or a Card. If you do not spend entire instant credit, balance may be used to pay wireless bill or get a Card. At att.com you will get a Card. Cards received in ~3 weeks after receipt of eligible trade-in & validation of condition. Credit & Card may be used only toward purchases of AT&T products & svc. in AT&T-owned retail stores, at att.com, or to pay wireless bill. Card is not redeemable for cash & may not be used for withdrawal at cash-dispensing locations. Expiration date will be printed on front of card and will not be less than 90 days from receipt. Participating dealers provide credit for use at time of trade-in. Dealer credit contains add’l terms & conditions & may only be used at specified dealer. Gen. Wireless Svc. Terms: Subject to Wireless Customer Agmt. Other fees, monthly charges, overage charges & restr’s apply. Offer, terms, fees, restr’s & options subject to change and may be modified, discontinued, or terminated at any time without notice. Coverage & svc. not avail. everywhere. See a participating store or visit att.com/summerbuyback for offer details. Monthly Discount: Service discount applies only to the monthly service charge of qualified plans and not to any other charges. See store for details. Special restrictions may apply. Screen images simulated. ©2015 AT&T Intellectual Property. All rights reserved. AT&T and the Globe logo are registered trademarks of AT&T Intellectual Property. All other marks are the property of their respective owners.