9 minute read

Horse Logic

by Nicole Birkholzer

Seeking to Connect

Humans are fascinated by horses. We’re amazed by their majesty, beauty, and elegant movement. They are incredibly powerful, yet gentle and sensitive. But there’s something else that draws us, a quality unique to horses that is elusive and somewhat mysterious, which we yearn to experience for ourselves.

I call that something spirit. It tells me there’s more to life than our everyday reality. I feel the deep desire to connect with a horse and to move as one with it. I imagine the wind blowing through my hair as we ride across a meadow, carefree, in the moment, liberated.

When we follow our desire to connect with a horse by taking riding lessons, or perhaps purchasing or adopting our dream horse, we’re often faced with a different reality. The horse may exhibit behaviors we are unprepared to handle, which can make us feel inadequate, and at times even a little afraid.

Instructors may tell us to do something one way while trainers insist on another. We watch DVDs to become a better leader, yet we find that we still fall short. Despite our best efforts, that connection we were seeking seems to elude us. Over time, the behavioral issues and the communication blocks can strain your love affair. Some days, you wonder if all the hard work and money is worth it.

You may be surprised to learn there’s nothing wrong with your horse, and there’s nothing wrong with your heart. Every relationship needs attention, nourishment, and tender care. Your relationship with your horse is no different.

In this column, I will help you establish a deep, meaningful relationship with your horse and the world around you. It will change how you perceive your horse, challenge much of what you’ve learned about horses and inspire you to try new things that can lead to a profoundly fulfilling connection with your horse.

The simplest and one of the best ways you can influence your horse’s well-being, as well as your own, is through the breath.

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A conscious breath brings you right into the present, the now, which is where your horse resides, and research has found that proper breathing supports your nervous system and a number of other functions in both your body and your mind.

To make sure we speak the same language, let’s start with an easy breathing exercise that will shift your relationship with your horse profoundly. The type of breathing we want to do for ourselves and for our horses is abdominal breathing. When you take a deep belly breath and exhale slowly it turns on your parasympathetic nervous system. Cortisol levels are reduced, and brainwave activity goes from stressful beta waves to the calming alpha waves. In other words, after a couple of deep belly breaths you begin to relax and you and your horse simply feel better.

In addition, similar to yawning, taking a breath is contagious. When you take a deep breath, you inspire your horse to take a breath.

Take a look at this simple course of action I take when I go to see my horse: • Whether I’m rushed, early, or on time, as I make my way down the aisle toward the stall or paddock, I take a deep belly breath, clear my mind, and tune in to my horse. • When I get to the stall or gate, I stop and take another breath and tell my horse the plan. I say, “Hi, Cutter, it’s time for our lesson.” This gives Cutter a chance to wake up, stop eating, or otherwise get ready. • Then I open the door or gate and step next to my horse, but instead of forcing the halter over his ears, I take another breath and invite Cutter’s participation by asking him to please put his muzzle into the halter. I stay open and curious — many horses have never had the chance to respond to a verbal request. Initially, Cutter was surprised to be asked, but after a few more offers, he gladly cooperated. • Next, before heading out into the aisle, I take another belly breath, and I invite my horse to follow me. This small but significant effort to connect with my horse

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pays off in the interactions that follow. After my offer of inclusion, Cutter becomes more tuned in — because I am tuned in. • As I groom, I try to devote myself to the task and keep chatter with other horse owners to a minimum. My late horse, Okie, always pawed when I got caught up in a conversation while grooming him. It was his way of telling me that he wanted my undivided attention, and rightly so: during the one hour a day I spent with him, he wanted me to be present. I’ve learned to chat before and after my rides, but not while I’m actively engaged with my horses. Grooming and tacking up present excellent opportunities to breathe and to bond. • If my horse is clean and doesn’t have a speck of mud on him, why brush? Instead, I use my hands and stroke his entire body, legs included. Physical contact is very soothing. At the same time, I watch his response to my hands. Cutter will let me know about any sore spots or areas he’d like me to scratch. • Before I head off to the mounting block, I take a deep breath. I take another deep breath before I mount up. This puts my horse a little more at ease before he enters the arena. These deep breaths help me too. • Throughout my ride, I remember to take deep breaths, maybe each time I go past the gate. My horse will follow suit and start blowing out through his nose, which calms his nervous system in a natural way. I notice that my seat is better and, with that, my connection with Cutter is enhanced. • When the lesson is over, I take off the saddle and slowly move my hand from behind the withers toward Cutter’s tail. If my hand wants to stop at a certain spot, I trust it. I hold my hand in place and breathe into that spot. I continue until the energy changes or my horse shows a sign of relaxation. Cutter lets me know he’s feeling calm by taking a deep breath, licking, chewing, or yawning. • As I return my horse to his stall or I connect through a belly breath before we walk down the aisle together. Cutter and I enjoy this ritual; he goes back into his stall calmly.

By breathing, paying attention, and partnering with your horse, you’re creating a mindful connection. It will help protect your horse from nervous-system overload. Being present for your horse is always a better gift than the yummiest treat.

The process of building a mutually trusting relationship with horses has taught me that by “meeting the horse where the horse is” I can create a deep connection that provides the greatest potential for teaching and training. Imagine what it would be like to have your horse meet you at the gate when you call out to him in the pasture. How thrilling would it be if your horse stood at liberty while the farrier trimmed his hooves? How would you feel if your horse dropped his head into the bridle just because you asked? Suddenly, you and your horse would experience everything you do together, in trust, with willingness.

I believe it’s time for us to awaken and create a bond with our horses that is the foundation upon which everything else will follow. When we were young, we didn’t have to think how to approach or be with a horse; we simply loved it, and it loved us back. If we continue to extend ourselves as we did back then, compassionately and honestly, meeting the horse where the horse is, we will experience an immediate connection.

In future columns, I hope to show that what we seek already exists within us. It’s in our nature to bond with our horses, spirit to spirit. We just need to remember how.

Your best guide on this journey is the horse. I will share simple ways of collecting and interpreting the information horses so freely provide, as well as some basic tools to help you raise your awareness and become a much better partner for your horse.

I will show you how you can create more ease in your horse’s and your own life to prevent unexpected and undesired

behaviors. We will also explore how to remedy some of the behaviors your horse might already display. While you can’t always control your horse’s environment, when you begin seeing the world through your horse’s eyes, you will see opportunities to support and connect with your horse that will enrich your relationship. You’ll also realize that you have an essential role to play in your horse’s health and well-being.

In each column, I’ll provide simple yet profound exercises that will enable you to connect with your horse in new and meaningful ways.y

Nicole Birkholzer is an author, animal communicator, and equine behavior and communication specialist. Her unique approach is based on respect, deep listening, and ancient wisdom. Her books, Horse Logic and Pet Logic, provide a dynamic and unique perspective on animal wisdom. To learn more about Nicole and her services, visit mindful-connections.com.

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IT’S HERE!THE HORSE LOGIC BOOK

Once upon a time, you fell in love with horses.

You felt drawn to their warmth, their power, their soft eyes, and their gentle spirits. You loved the freedom of riding — the liberated movement, the rush of wind in your hair, and the feeling of limitless momentum. Over time, the practicalities of horsemanship — the grooming, the behavior issues, and the communication blockades — started to strain your love affair. And some days, you wake up and wonder if all the hard work and money is worth it. Here’s the good news: there’s nothing wrong with your horse and there’s nothing wrong with your heart. Every Horse Logic column printed since 2012 in Massachusetts Horse is included!

order your copy at mindful-connections.com/horses

Nicole Birkholzer

Animal Communication Specialist • Author • Speaker • Educator nicole@mindful-connections.com mindful-connections.com/horses