REJECTED BY PRIVATE SCHOOL

LUCY POPE

The argument about private school Vs state school has long existed. Some argue that if you go to private school you have an automatic key to success, believing that if you’re paying for an education that it will, of course, be better for you.

However, some argue that if you have great success at state school then you are smarter as the education is ‘worse’. Having received both forms of education, I’ve formed a strong opinion as to why state school is more suited to me.

I attended a private boarding school from year 9 through to year 11. I was a “below average” student, as they like to put it, and was in bottom set in every subject. I managed to move up to 5th set from 6th set in English in year 10, which was the only success I had in my three years there. I was part of the equestrian team, but only so I could go home more to see my family and I thought it would reflect me in a better light towards my teachers (it didn’t). I felt huge amounts of pressure on my shoulders to achieve good grades there, my time to was English as I loved it so then to go to University, then get a much, and it definitively shows in my successful job and live a successful life, grade. Admittedly private school did but I really didn’t care that much. Year help me, and I did love my teachers. I 11 was probably the worst academic attended workshops to try and help year with the pressure growing larger push my grades up, yet it simply didn’t and larger. I failed my mocks and work. I just wasn’t motivated. I always then the conversations started. My saw myself as ‘dumb’ and thought housemistress used to pull me aside at there’s no point trying if I’m still going night and would say “with the grades to fail anyway. you’re getting you won’t be attending When exams had finished, I wasn’t sixth form here”. I always assumed they very optimistic about my grades were empty threats to make me work at all. I thought, to save myself the harder but looking back, I realize how embarrassment, I’d better take naive I was to think that. My friends everything home with me in case they were incredibly smart and were on track didn’t have me back. I am extremely to achieve top grades. They worked grateful I did that. Results day came hard, leaving me feeling like the odd around and was an extremely stressful one out, unable to achieve the same day to say the least. To my surprise (and grades. Even on the tests I revised for, my parents’) they were awful. I’d only I still didn’t get the grades I needed obtained 5 GCSEs. to stay, so as the pressure and the nagging increased I decided I wanted to prove them wrong My mum received the dreaded call from the Head, as we progressed towards exam season saying “unfortunately we just don’t and I gave up. I started saying “what will think this is the right school for Lucy be will be” and “they won’t kick me out’. and she would struggle with A levels”, The only exam I remember devoting a response which I wasn’t expecting.

After spending a couple hours of crying, I decided I wanted to prove them wrong.

So, I came to Sixth Form to do just that, choosing three ambitious A levels in Politics, English Literature and Sociology (I can’t forget the Maths GCSE I never quite achieved until last summer). It took me two weeks to drop Politics, choosing Law instead. Only knowing a few people in the year above me, it allowed me to have fresh slate; nobody had an opinion on my intelligence. I quickly made friends who I am extremely close to. They made me realise how much I had hated private school. I no longer felt ‘dumb’ against everyone else, teachers didn’t have a go at me for not getting an A* on every piece of work I completed. You could easily argue that Sixth form teachers treat you like adults, a concept completely alien to me. There was no competition as to how much money one had or who had the better summer holiday; everything felt calmer.

Once I realised that I had a chance of being somewhat successful, I decided that I wanted to go to University, something I never thought would come out of my mouth to be honest: I just didn’t thought I was smart enough. I have more faith in myself than I did two years ago. My work ethic has changed dramatically, I am keen to do well in my exams and my work.

Looking back, I’ve realised one of my biggest regrets is not working hard for my GCSEs. With the confidence I have now, I realise how well I could’ve done. However, if I had achieved good enough grades to get back into Private school, I think I would have either really struggled and therefore not applied to University or I would’ve dropped out. I began suddenly to see a future for myself that I couldn’t have done a few years ago.

I will be forever grateful for the opportunity I had to attend private school and I did enjoy some moments at that school. Boarding life wasn’t too terrible, it just depended if you liked the girl you were sharing a room with. Inevitably, at times, I didn’t, but you just had to suck it up and get on with it; my mum always said it was a great life skill to have to deal with people you don’t always get on with. I know so many people that have enjoyed it and still are enjoying it. The reality is, like all things, it doesn’t suit everyone and there is nothing wrong with that. Yet here at Sixth form, I have so many more options than I would at any private school. My A levels are completely different from what I originally chose there, for example. There was judgment surrounding subject choice at my private school with the most adventurous subjects on offer being Psychology or Drama.

I used to be so embarrassed by getting ‘kicked out’ of school, I told no one about it as a result. I just made up some lie to cover. It took me a while finally to tell the truth to the people I was still friends with who attended the school. I am now able to laugh about it and make jokes about it without getting upset. It truly was a blessing in disguise, and I couldn’t be happier where I am now; I no longer see education as a negative thing. I think the reason I enjoy sixth form and education now is simply because the pressure is off my shoulders. I can make mistakes without feeling like it’s the end of the world. All I can do now is get the best grades I can achieve at A levels and prove that I am able to do A levels, attend University and that I’m not “below average”.

Image credit: Sharon McCutcheon, unsplash.com