Make It Better October 2014 by Make It Better

OC TOBER 2014 THE HOME ISSUE

OCTOBER 2014

N O R T H S H O R E — F A M I LY , C O M M U N I T Y A N D Y O U

+ LUXE FALL ACCESSORIES

Best of 2014 Home Category winners Mick de Giulio and Scott Simpson

DOOR COUNTY COLOR SEXY YOGA PM PRIME “WILD” AUTHOR CHERYL STRAYED

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Aqua crystal necklaces, $58 each, Bloomingdale’s ABS rose gold lasso necklace, $95, Bloomingdale’s

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LUXE LOOKS: FALL ACCESSORIES Turn to page 64

By Tate Gunnerson

By Evangeline Politis

OUTSIDE THE BOX

A NEW BEGINNING By Tate Gunnerson

LUXE LOOKS: FALL ACCESSORIES

PM PRIME: HIGHWOOD’S RED MEAT PALACE By Julie Chernoff

CHANGING COLORS IN DOOR COUNTY By Laura Levy Shatkin

CHERYL STRAYED: ON “WILD”—AND BEING HONEST By Kelly Konrad

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ON OUR COVER Mick de Giulio of de Giulio Kitchen Design and Scott Simpson of Scott Simpson Builders Photo by David Sutton

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DEPARTMENTS FAMILY

RAPE CULTURE ON COLLEGE CAMPUSES By Coco Keevan

WHAT SHOULD YOU DO WITH YOUR INHERITANCE? By Meghan Streit

A BETTER YOU

ANTI-AGING AGENTS

By Jenny Muslin

BREW IT UP FOR OKTOBERFEST By Laura Levy Shatkin

THEATRE IS EPHEMERAL By Robert Loerzel

MAKE A DIFFERENCE

By Marjie Killeen

7 WAYS YOGA MAKES YOU SEXIER

DINING & ENTERTAINMENT

BETTER MAKERS AND THEIR IMPACT

FLASHES OF HOPE By Coco Keevan

90 | CLOSING THOUGHTS

PHOTO COURTESY OF PM PRIME

80 | G IVE TIME, GIVE THINGS, GIVE SUPPORT

PM Prime

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PUBLISHER’S LET TER

Dear readers, What do you love best about your North Shore home? This question can be interpreted two ways: What do you love best about your individual home? Or, what do you love best about calling the North Shore home? Your answer to both of these questions is important to us. As we’ve been working on this annual Home edition, I’ve given a lot of thought to both versions of this question, too. My answers might surprise you. My favorite thing about our family home isn’t the architectural details, landscaping, view, antiques or artwork. Rather, it’s our most well-worn furniture: the big blue couch and piece-of-pie footrest in our kitchen. There, we’ve snuggled en masse, read aloud every page of the “Harry Potter” series, opened birthday presents, tortured pets, ate countless bowls of popcorn, fought, flipped, convalesced, laughed, cried, loved. You can see a photo of the furniture below. Home is where the love is. And there has been an extraordinary amount of love and life well lived on our big blue couch.

THE BIG

BLUE COUCH

AND YOU BY SUSAN B . NOYE S

My favorite thing about calling the North Shore home is you—the diverse, talented, smart, engaged and engaging members of our community. What a gift it has been to raise a family here and launch a business that connects and amplifies the best of your good efforts. And, yes, I really do see and celebrate the wonderful diversity between Evanston and Lake Bluff, the lake’s edge and Barrington. I hope you enjoy and are inspired by our beautiful home content in this issue and online at makeitbetter.net. We always celebrate and connect you to the best of North Shore home design and resources. More importantly, though, I hope this also reminds you of all you love best about your home and our community. As always, your feedback is welcome and wanted—particularly about what you love best about your home. Happy reading and thank you,

MONEY RAISED FOR NOT-FOR-PROFIT ORGANIZATIONS: $3,624,080

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ONLINE

OUR BETTER HALF IS ONLINE

win a $50 artizone gift card! Tweet us your favorite fall treat using the hashtag #MIBFALLFOODIE to enter to win a $50 gift card to Artizone, the online shopping market that will deliver gourmet eats right to your front door.

did somebody say pumpkin? October means pumpkin. Pumpkin Spice Lattes, pumpkin pie, pumpkin muffins… the possibilities are endless. Embrace the trend with these pumpkin products that will really get you excited for sweater weather.  MAKEITBETTER.NET/PUMPKIN

Andee BCA Watch, Coach, $258

think pink

what’s hot on makeitbetter.net ORGANIZED HOME

Show your support for Breast Cancer Awareness Month by purchasing any of these ultra-chic products that benefit breast cancer research. Look good AND do good!  MAKEITBETTER.NET/THINKPINK

15 Best Home Organization Hacks on Pinterest TECH MAMMA

8 Dangerous iPhone Apps You Hope Your Kids Aren’t Using OUTINGS & TRAVEL

8 Ideas for Girls’ Night Out in the Suburbs RECIPES

a spooky story for everyone October isn’t just for playing in the fallen leaves—it’s for cuddling up together on the sofa with a scary read. These eight books offer something for everyone, from kids to adults who like a twisted ending or old-school classic.  MAKEITBETTER.NET/SPOOKYSTORIES

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FASHION & BEAUTY

5 Can’t-Miss Fall Fashion Collaborations

fall tv preview: 7 can’t-miss shows Don’t miss this season’s hottest new TV rom-coms, dramedies, legal thrillers and comicbook remakes. We have a feeling it’s going to be hard to decide which shows you’ll be adding to your weekly routine.  MAKEITBETTER.NET/FALLTV

PHOTOS COURTESY OF MANUFACTURERS

4 Sneaky Ways to Serve Kale to Kids

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FROM OUR COVER ON MICK: Alpaca Sport Jacket, $1,787

Purple, White & Black Striped Dress Shirt, $248 Wool, Cashmere & Silk Trouser, $487 Silk Necktie, Purple & Black, $140 Pocket Square, Black & Purple, $90 Shoe, Rosebery Loafer, Black, $658 Watch, Audemars Piguet Royal Oak Offshore Silver Dial Chronograph “Panda Dial,” price upon request, courtesy of Cy Fredrics Jewelers Clothing provided By Phineas Cole for Paul Stuart

ON SCOTT:

Cashmere Quarter Zip Sweater, Green & Gray, $697 Plaid Brushed Cotton Sport Shirt, Gray & Purple, $228 Wool & Cashmere Gray Trouser, $494 Gray Chukka Boot, $448 Watch, Ernst Benz - Chronoscope PVD, price upon request, courtesy of Cy Fredrics Jewelers

PHOTOS COURTESY OF MANUFACTURERS

Clothing provided By Paul Stuart

These photos were taken in a Kenilworth home that was built by Scott Simpson Builders, winner of Best of 2014 Green Home Builder, with a kitchen designed by Mick de Giulio, winner of Best of 2014 Kitchen Design. Photos by David Sutton

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CONTRIBUTORS

CONTRIBUTORS Want more from our editors? Visit our revamped makeitbetter.net, launching soon, to read their latest articles.

1 | ANNA CARLSON

2 | JULIE CHERNOFF

3 | TATE GUNNERSON

3 | MARJIE KILLEEN

5 | KELLY KONRAD

6 | JENNY MUSLIN

7 | EVANGELINE POLITIS

8 | MEGHAN STREIT

@agcarlson Anna is the Assistant Editor and events guru at Make It Better. Her house always feels like a home, thanks to her roommates (aka “Mom and Dad”). Plus, the rent is right.

@LitzyDitz Kelly is Make It Better’s Books Editor. Not surprisingly, piles and piles of books make her house a home.

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@JulieChernoff Julie is Editor in Chief and Dining Editor of Make It Better. The smell of dinner cooking makes her house a home. You know what doesn’t? The raccoon family and accompanying flea brigade that tried to make her house THEIR home.

@jenmuzz Jenny, Make It Better’s Beauty Editor, knows that home is definitely where the heart is! What makes her house a home are those who live there—her husband, son and dog.

@tategunnerson Tate is a Chicago-based freelance writer and Make It Better’s Home Editor. While he appreciates a well-designed space that stimulates all the senses, it’s entertaining family and friends that really make his house feel like a home.

@EvaPolitis Evangeline is the Fashion Editor at Make It Better. The prints and photos she’s collected over the past decade are what make her place feel like home—along with the warm and always wagging welcome of her dog, Baxter.

@MarjieKilleen Marjie, Make it Better’s Sex & the Suburbs columnist, is enjoying evenings out on the patio by the fire sipping a nice glass of wine. Nothing makes a home feel warmer than candle or firelight, especially as winter closes in.

@MeghanStreit Meghan is Managing Editor and Finance Editor at Make It Better. What makes her house a home is her backyard garden. She takes great pride in having transformed the tiny patch of rocky urban land into a vegetable and herb garden that produces at least one lovely (and very expensive) salad each season.

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588 Lincoln Ave. Winnetka, IL, 60093 | 847-256-4642 Founder & Publisher Susan B. Noyes Editor In Chief Julie Chernoff Managing Editor Meghan Streit Digital Editor Lindsay Roseman Assistant Editor Anna Carlson Make a Difference Editor Coco Keevan Art Director Lesley Smith Designer Melissa Johnston

Beauty Editor Jenny Muslin Books Editor Kelly Konrad Dining Editor Julie Chernoff Fashion Editor Evangeline Politis Finance Editor Meghan Streit Fitness Editor Christy Coughlin Home Editor Tate Gunnerson Senior Living Editor Stuart Greenblatt Sex & the Suburbs Editor Marjie Killeen Contributing Writers Laura Levy Shatkin Robert Loerzel Photographers Britt Anderson Dana Lenckus Lesley Smith David Sutton Daniel Sviland James Thomas Interns Jessica Van De Loo Caroline Wegener

Co-Founder & Vice President of Marketing Mindy Fauntleroy Chief Operating Officer Sandy Tsuchida Ad Sales Manager Megan Holbrook Senior Account Executives Patti Augustyn Julie Carter Account Executives Denise Borkowski Jenny Newman Meredith Kopelman Director of Videography Katy Nielsen GOT FEEDBACK? Email susan@makeitbetter.net TO ADVERTISE: Contact megan@makeitbetter.net HAVE AN EVENT? Email anna@makeitbetter.net

Make It Better North Shore (ISSN No. 2151-0431) is published 11 times per year by Make It Better LLC, 588 Lincoln Avenue, Winnetka, IL 60093. Phone: 847.256.4642. Copyright 2014 by Make It Better LLC. All rights reserved. Application to Mail at Periodicals Rates is pending at Wilmette, IL and additional mailing offices. POSTMASTER: Send address changes to: Make It Better, 588 Lincoln Avenue, Winnetka, IL 60093. Make It Better is registered in the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office. Copyright 2014 by Make It Better LLC. All rights reserved.

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WHAT’S NEW?

BY ANNA CARLSON, JULIE CHERNOFF AND MEGHAN STREIT

New Brew in Evanston

SMYLIE BROTHERS BREWING CO.:

1615 Oak St., Evanston, 224-9997320, smyliebros.com - JC

Of Kors!

Dreaming of a new handbag for fall? Starting to check off items on your holiday gift list? You can now shop all of Michael Kors’ chic shoes, watches, jewelry, accessories and clothing at Northbrook Court. The store, which opened in August, is a fashionista’s paradise and the perfect addition to one of the North Shore’s most popular shopping destinations. MICHAEL KORS: 1515 Lake Cook Road, Northbrook, 847-239-9984, northbrookcourt.com—AC

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Twice as Nice

Once a child learns how to walk, parents know they rarely stop moving, so a toddler’s clothes need to withstand the playground, birthday parties and all the other adventures of childhood. The co-owners of Highland Park’s Babydreams, Vicki Kriser and Kay Schwartz, understand and have opened Toddler to provide comfortable, washable clothing to a slightly older age group. These clothes come in bright colors with room to grow and can easily mix and match. Grandparents who join the Grandparents’ Club and make a donation of $25 or more to Children’s Memorial Hospital will receive a discount on any future purchase. TODDLER: 458 Central Ave., Highland Park, 847-780-8947, toddlerhp.com—AC

Margarita Time

Next time you shop at Old Orchard, plan a Tex-Mex pit stop at Uncle Julio’s. The Mexican chain is the latest dining establishment to open at the Skokie mall—just in time for holiday shopping season. Look for Tex-Mex classics like enchiladas, tacos and chile rellenos, as well as generous portions of hotoff-the-mesquite-grill beef, chicken and fish to make your own fajitas at the table. Don’t miss Uncle Julio’s legendary “Swirl,” a frozen blend of margarita and sangria. UNCLE JULIO’S: 4905 Old Orchard Center, Skokie, 224-601-6100, unclejulios.com—MS

PHOTOS COURTESY OF EACH BUSINESS

Winnetka native Mike Smylie is justifiably proud of his new Evanston brewpub, Smylie Brothers Brewing Co. He has completely rebuilt and repurposed the old Oak Street Market space into a huge operation with plenty of reclaimed wood—and great seating inside and out. Head brewer Brad Pulver is making some tasty beers on premise to pair with chef Grant Carey’s beer-centric food, like mussels steamed in beer, pizza dough made with brewer’s yeast, and lots of smoky barbeque eats. Brews, burgers and barbeque? Sounds like a plan.

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EVENTS

R E C O M M E N D E D

BY ANNA CARLSON

editor’s pick The 1968 Exhibit Opens October 4 | Chicago History Museum, 1601 N. Clark St., Chicago chicagohistory.org The Vietnam War. The Cuban Missile Crisis. The assassinations of JFK, RFK and MLK, Jr. The 1968 Democratic National Convention. The ’60s were a tumultuous time, but there were also bell-bottoms, women’s liberation and The British Invasion. Relive it all with this exhibit.

tacle, which will showcase three floating fire sculptures celebrating Chicago’s past, present and future on the river. “Chicago Fire” stars Jesse Spencer and Taylor Kinney will (appropriately) serve as grand marshals.

OCT

Fleetwood Mac October 2-3 | United Center, 1901 W. Madison St., Chicago | unitedcenter.com It has been 16 years since all five members of this acclaimed band toured together. The “On with the Show” tour will be a special one. OCT

“Dead Accounts” Opens October 3 | The Den Theatre–Mainstage, 1333 N. Milwaukee Ave., Chicago | stepupproductions.org Step Up Productions opens their 2014-15 season with this 2012 Broadway comedy about a son’s sudden return to his hometown. Partial proceeds will go to Imerman Angels, an organization that provides one-on-one cancer support. OCT

Cole Porter’s Greatest Hits October 3-12 | Nichols Concert Hall, 1490 Chicago Ave., Evanston | lightoperaworks.org Enjoy an evening out with music from some of Broadway’s most beloved shows, including “Anything Goes,” “Kiss Me, Kate” and “Silk Stockings.” OCT

The Great Chicago Fire Festival u October 4 | Chicago River, between State Street and Columbus Drive bridges, Chicago | chicagofirefestival.com The city’s neighborhoods celebrated all summer long, but this event culminates with a River Bazaar and Grand SpecOCT

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Amazing Grace Opens October 9 | Bank of America Theatre, 18 W. Monroe St., Chicago | broadwayinchicago.com See the show about one of the world’s most famous songs before anyone else. This pre-Broadway premiere follows John Newton (played by Tony nominee Josh Young) as he struggles with his family’s past and looks to his own future. OCT

The Chicago International Film Festival  9 October 9-23 | AMC River East 21, 322 E. Illinois St., Chicago | chicagofilmfestival.com This film fest is celebrating 50 years by showcasing more than 150 films throughout the month. The festival will highlight both new works from undiscovered talent and films featuring recognizable names like Marion Cotillard, Emma Stone and Zach Galifianakis. OCT

Fall Bulb Festival October 10-12 | Chicago Botanic Garden, 1000 Lake Cook Road, Glencoe | chicagobotanic.org/bulb As kids make their way through a straw-bale maze, participate in a leaf hunt and make their own mini-scarecrows, OCT

The Great Chicago Fire Festival

GREAT CHICAGO FIRE FESTIVAL PHOTO COURTESY OF DIGITAS

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“Two Days, One Night,” playing at the Chicago International Film Festival

adults can sip on cider, wine and beer while shopping jams, vegetables, chocolate, honey and other treats. Central Street Community Weekend October 11-12 | Central Street, Evanston | centralstreet-evanston.com Start your holiday shopping with discounts at favorite shops and give back to local organizations like Boys Hope Girls Hope, The Cradle Evanston Nursery, Connections for the Homeless, SHORE Community Services, Y.O.U. and more. Win-win! OCT

Race: Are We So Different? Opens October 12 | The Illinois Holocaust Museum and Education Center, 9603 Woods Dr., Skokie ilholocaustmuseum.org While our differences make us strong, they can also lead to discrimination and oppression. For the first time ever, a national exhibit will look at race from a biological, cultural and historical perspective. OCT

PHOTO COURTESY OF THE CHICAGO INTERNATIONAL FILM FESTIVAL

OCT

Italian Food & Wine Festival October 14-16 | Eataly Chicago, 43 E. Ohio St., Chicago | eataly.com/

chicago Whether you consider yourself a foodie or not, this festival cannot be missed. Enjoy a four-course dinner one day and a wine tasting featuring 100 of Italy’s best wines the next. There will also be two head-to-head chef demonstrations. Northwestern vs. Nebraska October 18 | Ryan Field, 1501 Central St., Evanston | nusports.com If you’re a Northwestern alum, you probably know that this isn’t just another football game. It’s homecoming, one of fall’s greatest OCT

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traditions nationwide. Kohler Food & Wine Experience October 23-26 | Kohler, Wis. kohlerfoodandwine.com Grab your girlfriends and road-trip up to Wisconsin for cooking demonstrations, book signings and tastings with celebrity chefs such as Graham Elliot, Stephanie Izard and Geoffrey Zakarian. OCT

Ramsey Lewis Electric featuring Bailey 24 Philip October 24 | SPACE, 1245 Chicago Ave., Evanston | evanstonspace.com Get out of the chill and warm up at this Best of 2014 winner. Ramsey Lewis’ music is just as diverse as his hometown, Chicago, and Philip Bailey hasn’t slowed down since his days with Earth, Wind & Fire. OCT

OCT

Rosanne Cash October 25 | Center Theatre, 9501 Skokie Blvd., Skokie | northshorecen-

ter.org That’s right, the daughter of Johnny and stepdaughter of June is coming to the North Shore. Having released 15 albums and won a Grammy Award in 1985, Rosanne’s music doesn’t just stay in the country genre, but encompasses folk, rock, blues and pop. Chicago Humanities Festival Begins October 25 | Various locations chicagohumanities.org This festival aims to make cultural, artistic and educational opportunities accessible, and they’re doing that this year with the help of Renée Fleming, “Wild” author Cheryl Strayed (see page 76), chef Marcus Samuelsson, and other speakers and performers. OCT

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BET TER YOU | finance

OCTOBER HIGHLIGHTS

BY ANNA CARLSON

APPLE ORCHARDS AND PUMPKIN PATCHES County Line Orchard 200 S. County Line Road, Hobart, Ind. countylineorchard.com

Didier Farms 16678 W. Aptakisic Road, Lincolnshire didierfarms.com Ela Orchard 31308 Washington Ave., Rochester, Wisc. elaorchard.com Goebbert’s Pumpkin Patch  42W813 Reinking Road, Hampshire goebbertspumpkinpatch.com Green Meadows Petting Farm 33603 High Dr., East Troy, Wisc. greenmeadowsfarmwi.com Heinz Orchard 1050 Crest Road, Green Oaks heinzorchard.com Honey Hill Orchard 11783 Waterman Road, Waterman honeyhillorchard.com

The Apple Barn Orchard and Winery W6384 Sugar Creek Road, Elkhorn, Wisc. applebarnorchardandwinery.com

FALL FUN

Fall Color Festival Weekends in October Morton Arboretum, 4100 Illinois Route 53, Lisle mortonarb.org Zoo Ghost Tours Begins October 2 Lincoln Park Zoo, 2001 N. Clark St., Chicago lpzoo.org Fear City Chicago Opens October 3 8240 N. Austin Ave., Morton Grove fearcitychicago.com Disturbia: Screams in the Park Opens October 3 MB Financial Park, 5501 Park Pl., Rosemont disturbiascreams.com Build Your Own Scarecrow October 4 Wagner Farm, 1510 Wagner Road, Glenview wagnerfarm.org

PHOTO <CREDIT>

Kroll’s Fall Harvest Farm 13236 Townline Road, Waukegan krollsfarm.com

Kuipers Family Farm 1N318 Watson Road, Maple Park kuipersfamilyfarm.com

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The Great Highwood Pumpkin Festival October 17-19 Downtown Highwood highwoodpumpkinfest.com Spooky Pooch Parade October 18 Chicago Botanic Garden, 1000 Lake Cook Road, Glencoe | chicagobotanic.org Trains, Tricks & Treats October 18-19 Chicago Botanic Garden, 1000 Lake Cook Road, Glencoe | chicagobotanic.org OLPH Holly Fair October 23-24 OLPH Playdium, 1776 Glenview Road, Glenview | facebook.com/olphhollyfair Vodou: Sacred Powers of Haiti Opens October 24 The Field Museum, 1400 S. Lake Shore Drive, Chicago | fieldmuseum.org Harvest Fest October 25 Old Orchard, 4999 Old Orchard Center, Skokie | oldorchardharvestfest.eventbrite.com HallowFest October 25-26 Chicago Botanic Garden, 1000 Lake Cook Road, Glencoe | chicagobotanic.org

PHOTO OF GOEBBERT’S PUMPKIN PATCH BY LESLEY SMITH

PHILANTHROPY

Jazz Institute of Chicago’s 12th Annual Gala October 15 The Drake Hotel, 140 E. Walton Pl., Chicago jazzinchicago.org/gala Rock the Beach 2014 October 29 Chicago Cultural Center, 78 E. Washington, Chicago | possefoundation.org

Visit makeitbetter.net/event-list for more things to do and fall fun!

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MAKE IT BET TER COLUMN

BEST FUNDRAISERS OF THE SEASON BY SUSAN B. NOYES

North Shore philanthropists use their love of big ideas, unique experiences, family fun, great home design, fashion, drop-dead glamour and ladies’ lunches to support a plethora of excellent causes. The following eight lists represent the best of these types of fundraisers endorsed or sponsored by Make It Better. If you are looking for a special experience tied to a good cause, mark your calendars for these events. For more information on media sponsorships, contact info@makeitbetter.net. Make It Better was the media sponsor of this event. TOP 25 GALAS WELL SUPPORTED BY OUR NORTH SHORE AUDIENCE:

1. Holocaust Museum Humanitarian Awards Dinner (3/12/15) 2. PAWS Fur Ball (11/14/14) 3. Art Institute Women’s Board Gala (9/2015) 4. Museum Of Science and Industry 34th Annual Columbian Ball (10/11/14) 5. Adler Planetarium Celestial Ball (9/13/14) 6. American Heart Association Chicago Heart Ball (4/11/15) 7. Boys & Girls Clubs of Chicago 66th Annual Woman’s Board Summer Ball (5/30/15) 8. Chicago Botanic Garden Harvest Ball (9/20/14) 9. Women’s Board of the Chicago Symphony Orchestra Symphony Ball (9/20/14) 10. Lyric Opera 60th Anniversary Diamond Ball (11/1/14) 11. Field Museum Women’s Board Caribbean Rhythms Gala (10/25/14) 12. Goodman Theatre Gala (5/16/15) 13. Shedd Aquarium Gala (6/2015) 14. Midwest Palliative Hospice & CareCenter Care Affair (5/16/15) 15. Chicago Auto Show’s First Look for Charity (2/13/15) 16. Music Institute Of Chicago Annual Gala (5/2015) 17. Northwestern University Settlement House Glitter Ball (11/1/14) 18. American Red Cross Heroes Breakfast (4/21/15) 19. Advocate Lutheran General Hospital Golden Gala (10/11/14) 20. Lincoln Park Zoo Ball (7/10/15) 21. Kohl Children’s Museum Evening to Imagine Gala (10/18/14) 22. Pathways.org Gala (11/17/14) 23. Rush Neurobehavioral Center 18th Annual Awards Dinner (10/7/14) 24. Ravinia Gala Benefit (8/1/15) 25. Woman’s Board of Rush University Medical Center 88th Annual Fashion Show (10/2/14)

LADIES’ LUNCHEONS:

Lynn Sage Cancer Research Foundation Fall Benefit Luncheon (10/14/14) Field Museum Women’s Board Women in Science Luncheon (5/2015) Adler Planetarium Women in Space Science Award Luncheon (5/2015)

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SERVICE & SCHOOLS:

City Year Ripples of Hope Gala (4/2015) Posse Chicago Golf Outing and Cocktail + Dinner Reception, (9/2015) After School Matters Annual Gala (9/2015) Daniel Murphy Scholarship Fund 25th Anniversary (10/25/14) Invest For Kids Conference (11/6/14) A Better Chicago Project Impact Awards (11/13/14) KIPP Chicago Schools KIPP Talk (Spring 2015) Chicago High School for the Arts Kerfuffle (5/2015)

Young Women’s Leadership Charter High School of Chicago Girl Power Luncheon (4/2015) Chicago Women In Philanthropy Annual Luncheon (3/2015) The Women’s Board of Rush University Medical Center Spring Luncheon (5/2015) UNICEF Message Of Hope Luncheon (4/17/15)

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MAKE IT BET TER COLUMN

FOR FASHIONISTAS:

Joffrey Ballet Swan Lake Luncheon (10/1/14) Women’s Board of Rush University Medical Center Annual Fashion Show (10/2/14) Northwestern University Settlement Houses Style Under the Stars (Spring/Fall 2015) Autohaus on Edens LAUNCH Fashion Show (3/2015) Costume Council of Chicago History Museums Costume Ball (11/14/14)

FOR FAMILIES:

MAKE IT BETTER PHILANTHROPY AWARD WINNER GALAS:

Chicago Botanic Garden HallowFest (10/25-26/14) Field Museum Women’s Board Children’s Holiday Celebration (12/2014) Lyric Opera’s The Magic Victrola (a family-friendly introduction to opera) (1/17/15) Joffrey Ballets The Nutcracker Opening Night (12/5/14) Kohl Children’s Museum Touch A Truck Family Festival (5/2015)

Mothers Trust Foundation Betty Bash Girls’ Night Out (10/24/14) The Posse Foundation Posse Chicago Power of 10 (10/29/14) Northwestern University Settlement House Glitter Ball (11/1/14) Youth Organizations Umbrella Evanston 44th Annual Benefit (2/2015) Beyond Sports Foundation Graduation Dinner (6/2015) Literature for All of Us 15th Annual Honor Thy Mother Luncheon (5/2/15) Midwest Palliative & Hospice CareCenter Care Affair (5/2015) Garfield Park Conservatory Fleurotica Fashion Show (6/2015) Bernie’s Book Bank Book Lovers’ Lunch (6/2015)

ART, ANTIQUES & HOME DÉCOR:

PHOTO <CREDIT>

FABULOUS EXPERIENCE AUCTIONS:

Lyric Opera of Chicago Wine Auction (2/7/15) Goodman Theatre Fame, Fantasy, Food and Adventure Auction (2/2015) Writers Theatre WordPlay Gala & Auction (4/2015) Cubs Charities Bricks and Ivy Ball (4/2015) Bears Care (6/2015) American Cancer Society Discovery Ball (4/2015) Chicago Shakespeare Theater Gala (6/2015)

Chicago International Art, Antique & Jewelry Show Opening Night Party (4/30-5/4/15) Rehabilitation Institute of Chicago Art in Motion (2/2015) The Chicago Lighthouse Associate Boards House and Garden Walk (6/2015) Infant Welfare Society of Chicago Showhouse & Gardens (Spring 2015) Junior League of Evanston-North Shore Designer Kitchens of the North Shore (5/2015) The Winnetka Auxiliary of the Women’s Board of Rush University Medical Center Cooks’ Tour (9/2015) The Auxiliary Board of NorthShore University HealthSystem American Craft Exposition (8/2015)

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BY MEGHAN STREIT WHAT INSPIRES YOUR INTERIOR DESIGN? Do you

bring nature inside by decorating with the soothing hues found on the shores of Lake Michigan? Have you taken a cue from your homeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s architecture in your design? Or is your house filled with an eclectic mix of treasures youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve accumulated during travels around the globe? We're pulling back the curtains, so to speak, on two North Shore homes, and learning about the design techniques used to create the stunning finished products. In one home, Fort Sheridan empty nesters tapped designer Randy Heller to turn their

loft-like space into a prime spot for entertaining with a careful mix of clean and modern design and rustic antiques. Meanwhile, a stately Glenview abode delights the eye with walls of large windows that open to enchanting views of the landscape and other parts of the house. Our cover highlights an exquisite Kenilworth kitchen designed in tandem by two of our Best of 2014 winners, Mick de Giulio and Scott Simpson. Come and take a peek inside!

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Veteran designer Mick de Giulio creates kitchens inspired by his international travels. Green builder Scott Simpson incorporates sustainability into home construction. The dynamic (and dapper) duo, both winners in our Best of 2014 Home category, teamed up to create the gleaming Kenilworth kitchen, featured on our cover, that’s as lovely as it is functional.

ON MICK:

Alpaca Sport Jacket By Phineas Cole for Paul Stuart, $1,787 Lavender Twill Dress Shirt By Phineas Cole for Paul Stuart, $228 Wool, Cashmere & Silk Trouser By Phineas Cole for Paul Stuart, $487 Pocket Square By Phineas Cole for Paul Stuart, Black & Purple, $90

ON SCOTT:

Denim Zip Cardigan by Paul Stuart, $887 Glenn Plaid sportshirt, Navy/Blue by Paul Stuart, $228 Wool & Cashmere Herringbone Trouser by Paul Stuart, $494 Watch, Ernst Benz Chronolunar, price upon request, courtesy of Cy Fredrics Jewelers

Watch, Audemars Piguet Royal Oak Offshore Silver Dial Chronograph “Panda Dial,” price upon request, courtesy of Cy Fredrics Jewelers

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BY TATE GUNNERSON PHOTOS BY JAMES THOMAS

A castle-like home in Glenview provides calming interiors and sweeping vistas of the picturesque landscape. OC TOBER 2014

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Surrounding a stone fireplace in the all-season room are custom swivel chairs designed by James Thomas and a coffee table made of driftwood. The table and chairs are from Restoration Hardware.

With its rustic stonewalls, the custom home feels as if it has stood for decades, but it’s actually a newly constructed building with geothermal heating, solar panels and other environmentally conscious features that have earned it LEED Gold certification. “We wouldn’t change a thing about the design of this home,” says the owner of a spacious house on a picturesque one-acre lot in Glenview. Its layout is composed of four connected pavilions that have large windows framing views of the exterior, which was designed by Kettelkamp & Kettelkamp Landscape Architecture in Evanston. “It’s like an exploded box that pushes out onto the landscape,” says Fred Wilson, of Morgante-

Wilson Architects. “You can look outside the house, which looks back inside the house, which looks outside. I’ve been there in the winter, and it feels like it’s snowing inside the house.” That was the idea, say the owners, who wanted their new abode to seamlessly blend inside and out. “I didn’t want to feel confined in my house; I wanted to see vistas,” the wife says. To ensure that the interior views were as captivating as continued on page 43

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In the main foyer, the designers placed the ownersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; existing counsel table, which they freshened up with a new stone top. The wool rug is from Oscar Isberian.

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A textured vinyl wall covering that resembles silk creates a peaceful feeling in the master bedroom. The glass lamps are from Arteriors Home.

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The dining room is located in the two-story center atrium. On the second level, there are guest suites and an office. Transom windows flood the space with natural light. “They are a unifying element,” Fred Wilson says. “They helped to knit the historical aspects of the home with the large panes of glass below them.”

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those outside their windows, the owners hired Thomas Riker and James Dolenc, of jamesthomas LLC. “We were involved from the get-go, which was exciting,” Dolenc says, noting that they helped to select paint, wall coverings and lighting. “The best design comes when a group of like-minded folks sit around the table talking and collaborating.” One of their discussion topics was the interior palette, which was inspired by the color of the stone that is so prevalent on the exterior and throughout the home’s central core. “We pulled in lots of sages, creams and gold,” Dolenc says, pointing to the kitchen’s cabinetry, for which they suggested a weathered pale green. “It complements the stone beautifully.” Recovering the owners’ existing collection of dark and traditional furnishings with light fabrics in the same palette gives them a brand-new character that perfectly suits the bright and spacious environment. “We love to upholster larger pieces in neutral fabrics and then infuse color by using accent pieces that can easily be swapped out when trends change,” Dolenc says. The designers also brought in designer lighting and more contemporary pieces. In the dining room, a set of new chairs gives their existing dining table a fresh look. In the step-down music room, they placed a luxurious glass Murano chandelier alongside an existing wing chair and side table. “This room has a great California vibe that I love,” Dolenc says. The owners say that the design succeeds on all levels. “It was really fun,” the wife says. “Everybody was upbeat and responsive to our ideas.” According to Dolenc, their clients’ input and approach to the project made all the difference. “They cared about the details and had great opinions, but they were willing to let us do what we do best. It was an amazing collaboration.”

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A unit in the former Bachelor Officersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Quarters at Fort Sheridan is reimagined with calm colors and an eclectic mix of furnishings.

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BY TATE GUNNERSON PHOTOS BY DANA LENCKUS

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For the dining area, Heller selected a cold-pressed steel chandelier from Ralph Lauren with Edison bulbs that can be installed facing toward the ceiling or the table.

“FORT SHERIDAN IS THE JEWEL

of the North Shore,” says Roberta Goodman from her three-bedroom home in the former Bachelor Officers’ Quarters that she shares with her husband, Steve, and their Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, Charlie. The empty nesters (they have a son in college and a daughter in medical school) fell hard for the two-level unit’s high, loft-like ceilings, storied history and proximity to scenic lakeside walking trails. “Everything was unfinished, so we had to use our imagination,” Goodman says. After interviewing several interior designers, the couple asked Randy Heller, of Randy Heller Pure & Simple Interior Design in Highland Park, to help them complete the interior. “I appreciate the way she uses calming colors and mixes new with old, but it was her enthusiasm about the project that really got me going,” Goodman says, noting that Heller became increasingly animated as she gave her presentation.

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Taking stock of the architectural drawings, Heller noticed several flaws in the design. Originally the kitchen was open to both the family room in the front of the unit as well as the dining and living areas at the back. Heller redrew the plans, closing off the dining room and moving the sink to a peninsula facing the family room. “When she’s at the sink, she’s facing her guests in the family room as opposed to having her back to them,” Heller explains. To balance an existing ceiling dormer that stuck out awkwardly over the dining area, Heller asked the contractor to add a second faux dormer on the opposite side. This created a flat surface between the angled ceilings where she mounted a steel chandelier with Edison bulbs. “It was a simple but brilliant change,” Goodman says. Because the Goodmans often host large gatherings, Heller created a furniture layout with ample seating for guests. In

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BET TER YOU | finance

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A large abstract painting by Hilary Remm commands attention in the entry foyer, which can be accessed via a private elevator. The antique rug is from Oscar Isberian.

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the kitchen and family area, there are bar stools and lounge chairs that swivel and a card table for bridge games. To create a focal point in the space, Heller lined one wall with long pieces of tile that resemble driftwood. “It adds so much texture,” Heller says, noting that as a non-combustible material, it’s safe to install behind the sleek ventless fireplace unit that she incorporated alongside a TV and floating steel shelf on the same wall. Pairing sleek and shiny new objects with rough-hewn pieces and antiques reflects Heller’s design for the entire home. In the front foyer, which is accessible via a private elevator from the garage, the designer combined Goodman’s collection of African wood warrior figures with an antique Chinese chair and a luxurious hand-rubbed brass chandelier. In the living room, she disguised the door to the powder room with a pair of tall Chinese screens, which she had installed with steel rods. “I want to create rooms that have soul in them, and the way to do that is to add one-of-a-kind pieces,” Heller says. According to Goodman, Heller got the design just right. “Randy understood what it was that I wanted even though I couldn’t articulate it very well at the time,” Goodman says. “She made some simple changes that have made a huge impact in the space. We love how it turned out.”

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FAMILY | travel

Fall is a superb time of year to head up to the serene Door County area of Wisconsin and take in the beauty. THE CROWDS THAT MARKED SUMMER are diminished, and the high sun hours are cooler. Exploring the wonderful peninsula is a pleasure without as much traffic, as well. During each leg of the drive, the roadside is illuminated with gorgeous leaves in glowing yellows, oranges and reds. Don’t forget your camera (or smartphone), as you’ll want to capture the beauty of nature’s art exhibit.

MUST TASTE Wake up and smell the coffee, literally, at Sturgeon Bay’s Door County Coffee & Tea Company

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MUST DO AND SEE Check out a few of the many lighthouses that dot the county. These quaint historic buildings each tell their own story and offer amazing waterfront views. Take in the fresh air with a climb up the 97-step iron stairway at the 140-year-old Cana Island Lighthouse (8800 E Cana Island Road, Baileys Harbor, 920-7435958, dcmm.org). It’s situated on a small island off the east coast of the peninsula with stunning 180-degree panoramas. Learn how Door County historically kept ships safe at the gorgeous Baileys Harbor Range Lights area (Ridges Road, 1/2 mile east of Highway 57, Baileys Harbor, 920-839-2802, lighthousefriends.com). The adorable Upper Range Light is a one-and-a-half story,

PHOTOS COURTESY OF LANDMARK RESORT

B Y L A U R A L E V Y S H AT K I N

(5773 Wisconsin 42, Sturgeon Bay, 920-743-8930, doorcountycoffee.com). Homemade breakfast treats meld seamlessly with the fresh coffee, roasted on the premises, in flavors like caramel pecan and cherry crème; or stick to the classic intense dark or elite espresso, all roasted from the finest Specialty Class–1 Arabica beans. Sit inside the cafe or outside on the porch of this charming cottage. As you drive north up the peninsula to check out the sights, a lunch stop at Wilson’s Restaurant & Ice Cream Parlor (9990 Water St. S, Ephraim, 920-8542041, wilsonsicecream.com) is a must. The quaint town of Ephraim is home to this landmark old-fashioned soda fountain where they brew their own root beer. Jukeboxes still play tunes and the rich, creamy ice cream is worth the calories. Lunch is simple but fresh and tasty. Don’t forget to get to a fish boil. It’s a dining experience unique to Door County, and one of the classic locales is Rowleys Bay Restaurant (1041 County Road Zz, Ellison Bay, 920-854-2385, rowleysbayresort.com), housed in a vintage waterfront resort. As tradition goes, the fish boil is made with locally caught Lake Michigan whitefish cooked outside over an open fire. An extensive buffet and salad bar comes with the allyou-can-eat event. Sip on Wisconsin wines at Door Peninsula Winery (5806 Wisconsin 42, Sturgeon Bay, 920-743-7431, store.dcwine.com), created in a former local schoolhouse. Blackberry Merlot and “Cranbernet” are just a few of the wines made with fruits other than grapes, although they are now growing climate-appropriate grapes, as well. Be sure to stop into the new wing, where the distillery is housed, for free samples of vodka, gin, whiskey and brandy.

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well as another precious lighthouse, Eagle Bluff. You could spend an entire weekend inside the park and not feel isolated.

MUST STAY

seven-room home with a lantern on the south side. The lenses for the light reside in this small structure which is surrounded by the stunning Ridges Sanctuary, a bluff of sand and sea grasses—great for picnics or just long walks. Looking for some exercise? Bring your bikes or hiking shoes to explore the lush forests and paths inside Peninsula State Park (9462 Shore Road, Fish Creek, 920-868-3258, peninsulagolf.org). The area is full of activity; you’ll find campsites, the outdoor American Folklore Theatre and an 18-hole golf course. There are many miles of bike trails and sandy shoreline, as

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Shoreline accommodations are key in the area, taking advantage of the fresh air and waterfronts. Landmark Resort (4929 Landmark Drive, Egg Harbor, 920-868-3205, landmarkresort.com) is Egg Harbor’s peaceful getaway, situated just a tree-filled bluff away from the shoreline. It’s not the newest resort in the area, but as a gateway to the upper half of the peninsula, it’s a great place to start your rest and relaxation. On the premises is the Carrington Pub &Grill for contemporary American fare. For a step back in time, book a room at the Edgewater Resort (10040 Water St., Highway 42, Ephraim, 920-854-2734, edge-waterresort.com) in the tiny town of Ephraim. The suites are darling and the cottages great for the family. You can enjoy the quaint shoreline of Eagle Harbor or take a dip in the heated pool overlooking it. It’s the essence of quiet relaxation, yet only a short walk from the shops in town.

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FAMILY

THE RAPE CULTURE on College Campuses

B Y C O C O K E E VA N

Four years ago, Tom Seeberg dropped his daughter Lizzy off for her freshman year at Indiana’s Saint Mary’s College, just across the street from Notre Dame. The Northbrook resident and lifelong Notre Dame fan was optimistic; at 19, Lizzy had struggled with depression and anxiety but was coping, ready to make the most of her opportunity at Saint Mary’s. It was an auspicious start; Lizzy made friends quickly and seemed to adjust well. According to reporting by Washington Post political writer Melinda Henneberger in the National Catholic Reporter, Lizzy texted her Chicago therapist, Dr. Heather Hale, in mid-August, reporting that she was “loving Saint Mary’s so far!” But by the end of the month, things had steadily devolved. Lizzy texted Hale again on August 31, 2010: “Something bad happened.” That “something” was sexual assault. A report filed with campus authorities alleged that former Notre Dame linebacker Prince Shembo had assaulted Lizzy, ignoring her protestations. “(I) felt so scared I couldn’t move,” Lizzy wrote. The fallout from her report was immense. In the days that followed, Lizzy received threatening text messages from Shembo’s friends: “Don’t do anything you would regret,” they said. “Messing with Notre Dame football is a bad idea.” Notre Dame Fighting Irish football is serious business. With a legacy of winning and a fervent fandom, the program reigns supreme. And the Seebergs were no strangers to it; thirteen family members had attended one of the two Notre Dame-area institutions. That notion weighed heavily on Lizzy. Would pushing the issue make her a traitor to the team she revered?

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It took 15 days following the incident for Notre Dame police to contact Shembo about the accusations. By the 10th, when Lizzy was found unresponsive in her dorm room, it was too late. On September 10, 2010, Seeberg’s wife Mary drove to Notre Dame to claim her daughter’s body. In February 2011, a campus disciplinary board cleared Shembo of Lizzy’s allegations. University officials attacked Lizzy’s character, while Shembo swore Lizzy was the aggressor. She could no longer defend herself. Somewhere between the frat house and the dorm room, college campuses became the real life incarnation of a “Law and Order: SVU” episode. The numbers are baffling: one in every five young women will be sexually assaulted in college; 60 percent won’t report the crime; fewer than 3 percent of assailants will spend a night in jail for their crimes; and night after night, in Twin XL beds in dormitories across the country, a young man or woman will be told that their sovereignty over their bodies doesn’t matter. It’s a startling realization that our nation has a very real problem with sexual violence. If sensationalist headlines and feminist blogs are to be believed—and the numbers are too damning to be ignored— we’re living in a rape culture that normalizes and excuses sexual violence; sexual assault is not only rampant but perpetuated through misogynistic language, female objectification and glamorization of sexual violence. “If we look at media, we see sexual violence glamorized, especially in advertising,” says Wagatwe Wanjuki, a feminist writer and activist. “We see women portrayed very often as mere objects, rather than full human beings.”

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And while our culture certainly doesn’t condone rape, there’s nary an outcry at cultural misogyny. It’s easy to harken back to a song as explicit as “Blurred Lines,” Robin Thicke’s chauvinistic, thigh-slapping jam (and one of 2013’s biggest hits), but there are countless other examples in popular culture of implicit male domination. Such propagation of cultural tropes degrading women is creating a culture wherein rapist prevention is taboo; the predilection for sexual violence is seen as a genetic mutation, one that can’t be stopped. Instead, the onus of protection falls to victims, overwhelmingly more often women than men. To truly change this culture, we need to first change our minds: defining consent, recognizing sexual violence and prosecuting crimes. At the heart of our rape culture is a problem with consent. We have issues with saying and accepting the word “no.” There’s a murky understanding of boundaries; young women are taught by Hollywood that surprise kisses and literal sweeping-off-your-feet gestures are romantic. It’s not surprising, then, that an implicit “no” is misread as a coy “yes,” when young men defend their actions as misreading the signals.

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Mike Domirtz, founder and executive director of The Date Safe Project, is fixated on consent. Domirtz travels to high schools, universities and military installations across the country, providing education for addressing verbal consent, respect, sexual decision-making, bystander intervention and survivor support.

the same: What was the victim wearing? Was she drinking? Was she alone? Was she flirtatious? And worse yet: Had she asked for it? Campus activist Annie Clark, upon reporting her sexual assault, says an administrator at the University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill, told her, “Well, rape is like football. If you look back on the game—and you’re the quarterback, Annie—is there anything you would have done differently?” Jill reported her assault anonymously to the university after hearing the assailant had assaulted another student. “Hearing about the second report just made me so upset,” she says. “It was all these feelings of, ‘Well, if I had talked to him,’ or ‘If I had reported it,’ or ‘If I had just done something, maybe I could have prevented this assault from happening.’” And Wanjuki, herself a rape survivor, initially resisted reporting her assault and blamed herself when the school, Tufts University, failed to prosecute. “I felt like it was my fault,” she says, “like I should have reported it better, or I should have been a better victim.” Most conversations around sexual assault prevention proceed similarly; even wellintentioned advice shifts the onus of responsibility to young men and women to be prepared.

“Consent must be one, requested, and two, received and honored,” Domirtz says. “It must be between two people who want it, give it freely and are of sound mind and legal age.”

“People like to think reducing rape is an individual problem,” Wanjuki says. “‘Hey, if everyone did their part, dodging rapists left and right, if they just wear the anti-rape pants and underwear and makeup … we’ll stop it.’ But we really need to acknowledge that rape prevention starts at stopping the rapists.”

“Often, in situations, it can be a little ambiguous,” says Scott Berkowitz, president and founder of Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN), the nation’s largest sexual assault organization. “You have a responsibility to understand exactly what’s happening and to make sure you have consent.”

Last month, a troupe of four male students from North Carolina State University made headlines with their Undercover Colors, a nail polish worn to detect common date rape drugs. While such anti-rape tools are valuable, critics suggest their earnest attempts are also misguided.

“I think it’s really important for people to understand that anything that is not a ‘yes’ is a ‘no,’” says Jill*, a recent graduate. In her junior year at an East Coast University, Jill, like two-thirds of victims, was sexually assaulted by an acquaintance. “I wish that were taught in some clearer way. No one is going to think of themselves as someone who would sexually assault someone else, but it is such a blurred line.”

“The date rape drug that’s used most often is actually alcohol itself,” Wanjuki says. “Not what’s in the alcohol…We need to really acknowledge that and stop trying to give these ‘rape prevention tips’ that only center on stranger rape.”

“Here’s the important shift in paradigm: It used to be, for decades, that the main message around sexual assault was, ‘No means no,’” Domirtz says. “Every time a sexual assault happened, people would look at the survivor and ask, ‘Did the survivor say no?’ Shouldn’t the question (to the perpetrator) be, ‘Did you ask?’” The idea of blaming the victim isn’t new. The rote questions remain

“I think it’s perfectly fine and even valuable to be talking to women and making sure they understand the risk—a great many of their peers are sexually assaulted,” Berkowitz says. “(But) the percentage of sexual assaults that are initiated by someone spiking a drink are a relatively small part of the total, so it’s behavior that we need to change most. But if technology can assist and prevent some crimes, I think that’s great.” These days, you can hardly check the news without seeing a new allegation of serious sexual assault. But perhaps most disappointing is

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the response of universities, institutions of higher learning dedicated to advancement, integrity and cultivation of worldly citizens. To date, 76 colleges and universities are facing federal investigations into sexual violence violations of Title IX, a law that protects people from discrimination based on sex in education programs and activities.

in July by eight cosponsors, takes aim at sexual assault on college campuses. New initiatives strive to protect and empower students and strengthen accountability and transparency for universities. If passed, it should make a difference in the current rape culture, especially if effectively adjudicated.

“We have two different worlds of how (sexual assault) is handled,” Domirtz says. “You have the campuses that do not aggressively educate on the topic and give their students the skills to transform their culture. And then you get a campus [that] tries to handle it internally. You would never do that with any other major felony. If I told you there was an attempted murder on campus last night, local police or sheriff would have been called instantly.”

Ready to talk to your children about sexual assault? Start by talking about consent.

“I think there’s a disconnect,” Berkowitz says. “The FBI ranks crimes in terms of violence, and rape is number two, right after murder. The norm with every other violent crime is to call the police and try and stop the criminal. That norm hasn’t taken hold with sexual violence.”

“If parents are sitting kids down to say, ‘If somebody says no, that means no,’” he continues, “they’re missing the boat on teaching them how to ask in the first place.”

Often, universities mishandle or disregard complaints of sexual misconduct. In September 2010, following Lizzy Seeberg’s death, Notre Dame police reportedly told her parents they weren’t sure they had the time to pursue the case. “They said they were busy,” Mary Seeberg told The Washington Post’s Henneberger, “because it’s football season and there’s a lot of underage drinking.” In the days following Lizzy’s alleged sexual assault, friends reported she was most upset by seeing Shembo return to the football field day after day. “That’s when she said it hit her,” Lizzy’s friend Kaliegh told Henneberger, “that he was going to get away with it.” “For me, one of the biggest things that we really need to start pushing colleges (to do) is punishing assailants on their campuses,” Wanjuki says. “Schools have a very low threshold for tolerating, say, plagiarism, but unfortunately schools are really hesitant to get rapists off their campuses. They somehow think that copying homework is more egregious than raping another student.” Wanjuki’s point isn’t far from the truth; following Lizzy’s death, Shembo’s name was kept from the headlines. He revealed his part in the case in February 2014 at the NFL Combine and later to papers, denying the allegations Seeberg leveled against him. Charges were never filed, and he never missed a day of practice in punishment. As Notre Dame’s football season began last month, however, five players were benched pending a university investigation into possible cheating. “Why are institutions okay with having rapists graduate with degrees from their institutions?” Wanjuki asks. “That’s something I still don’t understand.” Change is hopefully on the horizon. In August, the California State Assembly passed a comprehensive campus rape bill that, in part, mandates that schools must implement an affirmative consent standard—yes means yes. And a bipartisan Senate bill, introduced

“Look, we can talk about sexual decision-making and respect in the same conversation,” Domirtz says. “They are vitally needed together. As a teenager, I realize I’m not comfortable talking about this with my partner. If I’m not comfortable talking about it, I’m not ready.”

“You need to respect the person you’re with,” Berkowitz adds. “It’s one thing to ask. It’s another to force.” It’s also important to address the very real possibility of assault. “Be honest with them about the risk and the fact that a significant percentage of students are assaulted,” Berkowitz says. “Talk to them about real, basic things they can do to lessen the risk; it won’t eliminate the risk. In the same way that most parents … really drive it home not to drink and drive, give them the same sort of talk: ‘If you ever feel like your safety is threatening, get a taxi, find a way out of there.’” “Really trust your instinct,” he adds. “If you think someone is being obnoxious or aggressive or is touching you or is standing too close to you or doing anything that makes you uncomfortable, find a way to get away from that person.” “Just because you’ve been OK with something doesn’t mean you have to be OK with the next step,” Jill says. “Things can turn sour at any second, and you don’t have to feel bad about that or worry that you were asking for it—things can be fine until they’re not.” “Most parents make the mistake of saying, ‘If anyone ever touches you, I’ll kill them,’” Domirtz says. In such situations, children are more reluctant to approach parents, fearing an explosive response. “You need to reverse that. Go home and say, ‘That was foolish. I always want you to be able to come to me. Here’s what I meant to say: If anyone ever has or does sexually touch you against your will or without your consent, I am always going to be here for you. Always.’” For more information on the Date Safe Project, visit datesafeproject. org. Does someone you know need help? Visit RAINN.org or call their free, confidential help hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE. Evanston’s Porchlight Counseling Services offers counseling services and legal or medical assistance for college sexual assault survivors. Call 773-750-7077 for more information, or visit porchlightcounseling.org. “One in Five,” a program about Porchlight’s work, recently won a Midwest Emmy Award; catch it on PBS this fall. * some names have been changed

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BET TER YOU | finance

WHAT SHOULD YOU DO WITH

YOUR INHERITANCE? BY MEGHAN STREIT

Receiving an unexpected or larger-than-expected inheritance can be a boon for your financial well-being—if you’re smart about how you use it. We probably don’t have to tell you that doesn’t mean quitting your job and hopping on the next flight to Bora Bora. TERRI CONKLIN, A UBS WEALTH manager in Northbrook, says the first thing you should do with a windfall is pay down debt, including credit cards and student loans. But she cautions you to first consult your advisor before paying off your mortgage, because that could have undesirable tax consequences. Once you’ve eliminated debt, Conklin says to use inherited money to make sure all of your basic financial needs are met. That means fully funding your retirement and emergency funds and making sure you have adequate insurance. If there’s money left after all of that, shore up your kids’ education funds. All that said, Conklin says you should also have a little fun with the money. “I always tell people that this is an emotional time, so at the very end, you should always treat yourself to something,” she says. “It can be something that is meaningful to you or that gives you a little reward, but should be no more than 10 percent [of the inheritance].” Laurie Itkin, a financial advisor and author of “Every Woman Should Know Her Options,” says many people inherit investment accounts rather than cash. In that case, she says it’s important to dis-

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cuss with your financial advisor whether you should invest the money differently. Itkin says that women in particular can be overwhelmed by a windfall and end up not taking any action—which can be a big mistake. “Sometimes there are feelings of guilt, or women are afraid to take responsibility of the money, so they keep the allocation as it is because they don’t want to mess it up,” Itkin says. “But in reality, the advisor they are working with might have structured the portfolio for a person who was nearing the end of life and needed income-producing assets, and that might be a huge tax liability for a younger couple.” Northbrook attorney Myrna Goldberg says an influx of assets is a “life event,” just like divorce or death, so you should update your own estate plan accordingly. Depending on your age and other assets, you may want to begin passing wealth onto the next generation by gifting money or establishing trusts. Goldberg also reminds Illinois heirs that while federal law exempts $5.3 million from estate tax, the state exemption is only $4 million. So, it’s possible to inherit an estate that is exempt from federal tax, but still be on the hook in Illinois.

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BET TER YOU | beauty

ANTI-AGING AGENTS BY JENNY MUSLIN

I recently asked my girlfriends about their skincare regimen. I discovered that most of them barely removed their eye makeup at night, let alone applied a moisturizer, vitamin cream or serum. What’s the big deal for your skin? The skin is the largest organ of your body, and as we age, a lot of changes happen to our skin: It thins, loses elasticity, gets drier and becomes less resistant to the sun’s damaging rays. You might choose not to use fillers or Botox, but at least consider what a good at-home skincare routine can accomplish. VITAMINS C AND E

Both vitamins C and E are antioxidants with a boatload of protective properties. Vitamin C reduces inflammation, increases the efficiency of sunscreen actives, encourages collagen production and slows the rate of free-radical damage. Vitamin E has moisturizing and healing properties, protects skin against UV radiation and works as an anti-inflammatory as well. “In the morning, I recommend an anti-oxidant serum, containing vitamin C or green tea polyphenols, which help reduce free-oxygen radicals that damage and age the skin,” says Jordan Carqueville, M.D., dermatologist at The Skin Care Center. Apply your serum first and follow with sunscreen. Try: -Glytone Red Tea Antioxidant Serum -John Masters Organics Vitamin C Anti-Aging Face Serum

EYE CREAM

It’s never too late to start using an eye cream, and once you’re in your 20s, an eye cream should be a regular part of your skin-care regimen. Beauty guru and YouTube celebrity Michelle Phan explains, “The skin around your eyes is much thinner and more delicate than other areas, so it’s more prone to damage and will start showing signs of aging sooner.” It also tends to become dryer, as it has fewer oil glands than the rest of your face. Your eyes are constantly being exercised—all that blinking, squinting and smiling—and all of this movement can lead to crow’s feet in the outer corners. An eye cream is specifically formulated to moisturize this sensitive area of skin and to plump wrinkles. Try: -Revision Skincare D.E.J Eye Cream -Kiehl’s Creamy Eye Treatment with Avocado

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RETINOL/RETINOID

Retinol and retinoid are both derivatives of vitamin A and are proven to improve blotched pigmentation, wrinkles, skin tone and hydration levels. Retinoid is prescription-strength and more effective, while retinol is milder and more tolerable. Carqueville says, “As long as you are not breastfeeding or pregnant, a retinol or retinoid product used at night after cleansing the face reduces fine lines and wrinkles, minimizes pore size and stimulates the production of new collagen,” Carqueville says. Apply a hydrating moisturizer about five to 10 minutes after application. Amy Brodsky, M.D., dermatologist at The Derm, also recommends the use of a retinoid and says, “An evening routine should have a retinoid and antioxidants, but know that the over-the-counter products have less efficacy then prescription-strength products.” Tips: -Start off slow. Your skin will need to get used to a retinoid. Apply a pea-size amount every three days for around two weeks. Then you can bump it up to every other day, and eventually daily. -Only use a retinoid/retinol at night, as it’s more sensitive to sunlight. -Your face should be totally dry when applying a retinoid. Better yet, wait 20 minutes after washing your face to apply a retinoid/retinol. This reduces the possibility of irritation. Try: -SkinCeuticals Retinol 1.0 -RoC Retinol Correxion Deep Wrinkle Night Cream

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MOISTURIZER

Look for a moisturizer that’s compatible with your skin type and consider the season. For instance, if your skin is dry in the winter, a cream is ultra hydrating. During the summer, a cream can be too rich, while a lotion is lighter weight yet still moisturizing. If you’d rather skip a step, there are now many moisturizers that contain sunscreen. If you choose to use sunscreen in addition to moisturizer, apply your sunscreen first and let it set before you add your moisturizer. Try: -Dr. Hauschka Rose Day Cream -Josie Maran Argan Daily Moisturizer SPF 47

SUNSCREEN

The best way to take care of your skin is by using a sunscreen; it’s truly the ultimate anti-ager. Even if it’s overcast outside, you’re still exposed to the sun’s rays; a sunscreen acts as a shield. Brodsky recommends to “look for a sunscreen with zinc or titanium (safe mineral sunscreens) as the active ingredient.” The rule of thumb is that a shot-glass size of sunscreen is the minimum amount you’ll need to cover the exposed areas of your face and body. Remember, if you’re outdoors, be sure to reapply every one to two hours. Try: -Badger Balm All-Natural Sunscreen Cream, Unscented -La Roche-Posay Anthelios 60 Ultra Light Sunscreen Fluid

CHEAT SHEET:

Morning: Apply serum, then eye cream. Follow with sunscreen or moisturizer/sunscreen combination. Evening: Apply a retanoid/retinol. Wait five to 10 minutes and then apply a face moisturizer and eye cream.

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STYLED BY EVANGELINE POLITIS PHOTOS BY BRITT ANDERSON

The best accessories of the season find a home at the Merchandise Martâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s LuxeHome Showrooms.

Chloe saddle bag, $2,350, Chalk Boutique

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SEPTEMBER 2014

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Cynthia Desser cuff, $260, Frances Heffernan

BET TER YOU | fashion

Gold cuff, $95, Frances Heffernan

Avant Toi vintage scarf, $1,050, Chalk Boutique Faliero Sarti scarf, $295, Chalk Boutique Gray leaf scarf, $295, Frances Heffernan

Burberry Tote, $1,395, Bloomingdale’s Tissa Fontaneda shoulder bag, $1,485, Frances Heffernan Milly gold crocodile metallic bag, $295, Bloomingdale’s

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Delman Brie red shoes, $398, Bloomingdale’s Aqua smokey-gray leaf necklace, $48, Bloomingdale’s

A GENEROUS THANK YOU TO THE FOLLOWING LUXEHOME SHOWROOMS: DreamHome Sub-Zero Artistic Tile Urban Archeology NEFF Exquisite Surfaces

ABS by Allen Schwartz glitter bangles, $58 each, Bloomingdale’s

SEPTEMBER 2014

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BET TER YOU | sex & the suburbs

7 WAYS

YOGA MAKES YOU SEXY BY MAR JIE KILLEEN I LAY ON MY BACK, entirely surrendered, body melting into the floor. The gyrations of the last hour had left me pulsating from head to toe. The experience had stretched my limits and pushed me to places I’d never been. There’d been moments that were intense and even scary, but here in the dim aftermath—pure bliss. I felt centered, whole and utterly alive. This was not post-coital orgasmic bliss, but a delicious slice of mind-body paradise known as the Savasana (or “Corpse Pose”) at the end of my first yoga practice at Heaven Meets Earth in Evanston. “Wow,” I thought, lolling on my mat, “yoga is sexy.” I had to investigate further. Now, after six weeks of class and talking with some experienced yogi chicks, I’m sharing seven ways yoga is good for your sex life.

3. IT CONNECTS YOU TO YOUR FEMININITY. 1. YOGA IS A SENSUAL EXPERIENCE.

For women to experience pleasure in bed, they need a steady diet of pleasure in other areas of their lives. Yoga is great exercise, but it also engages all the senses. In class we enjoy beautiful music, low lighting, and comfy props like cushions, blankets and lavender eye pillows. Sometimes our teacher will sound a gong, or anoint us with fragrant essential oils—a valuable reminder that there are many ways for a body to feel good.

Sports and workouts are healthy and fun, but according to Lisa Faremouth Weber, founder of Heaven Meets Earth, competition and comparison come from a masculine, ego-based mindset. Yoga is individual, inward exploration. The practice can be challenging, but is infused with gratitude, artful movement and intention—a more feminine experience. “Feminine exercise gives you joy,” Weber says.

2. YOGA GETS YOU OUT OF YOUR HEAD.

One of the biggest barriers to feeling desire is the incessant chatter and constant to-do lists that fill our minds. Yoga puts an end to all that multi-tasking noise. “When I get into my yoga practice,” my friend Ivy* tells me, “ I only focus on my breathing—the inhale and the exhale. My mind is very quiet after a practice.” Ivy uses that technique to quiet her mind when it comes to intimacy with her husband; it allows her to relax and fully appreciate the experience. (*name has been changed)

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4. IT MAKES YOU FEEL GREAT ABOUT YOUR BODY.

Women are often incredibly critical about their bodies. I’ve only been taking yoga for a few weeks, but I’m already amazed; even in the simplest poses like Warrior I, there are times I feel like a friggin’ goddess. Yoga’s not about how you look, it’s about what you can do and how you feel. Making that positive connection with your body feels awesome.

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5. IT GETS YOU IN SHAPE FOR THE SACK.

With the deep lunges, downward dogs and bridge poses, it’s no stretch to see how yoga makes women more physically fit for lovemaking. Yoga improves strength and flexibility in all areas of the body but is especially helpful in opening up the oft-neglected muscles surrounding the hips and pelvis. More flexibility means less pain, more options and more fun when it comes to sex. Ohm my! 6. YOGA MAKES YOU LOOK HOT.

Celebrities like Jennifer Aniston and Gwyneth Paltrow rave about the benefits of yoga. Not only does it tone your body and give you great posture, but it also improves your circulation and makes your skin look more radiant. It’s called the “yoga glow.” Ivy started doing yoga for the peace of mind but was delighted by the changes in her body. “Once I started seeing the results, I liked the way I looked, and I felt more interested in being sexual.” 7. YOGA BLISSES YOU OUT.

Ivy regularly experiences joy while practicing yoga. “There are moments in class when I feel like I can look at my inner mirror, and my heart is singing,” she says. “I wonder: Can everybody see what’s happening to me here? It’s like my heart is just bursting forth from my body!” “In yoga, we have flashes of bliss,” Weber explains. “The Sanskrit name for them is Samadhi. This is when we stop, pause, breathe, plug in and open to the sea of love within ourselves. We can’t experience that when we’re constricted.” The good news, Weber tells me, is that once you’ve been awakened to these flashes, you can experience them in everyday life.

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DINING | review

PM Prime 310 Green Bay Road Highwood 847-433-0600 pmprime.com

PM PRIME:

HIGHWOOD’S NEW RED MEAT PALACE

BY JULIE CHERNOFF

PHOTOS BY JULIE CHERNOFF

In its day, Gabriel’s was a haven of civility and fine dining. PM Prime, which now occupies that space, aspires to the same, and they are well on their way.

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PHOTOS BY JULIE CHERNOFF

THE RESTAURANT IS DARK AND clubby, with spotless white table linens, substantial silverware and serious stemware alerting you that they mean business here, both literally and figuratively. The room is rimmed with historical black-and-white aviation photos; the main chandelier recalls a constellation, or perhaps Elroy Jetson’s nightlight. The room is primed to take flight. Also sky-high are the prices, which easily equal—and in some cases surpass—downtown red meat palaces like Del Frisco’s and Mastro’s. In their defense, the steak we ordered, a 20-ounce, bone-in, dry-aged Ribeye ($69), was exquisite, perfectly charred in the 1,600-degree infrared broiler, a marvel of juicy meatiness. But charging $3 extra for the (admittedly delicious) homemade PM Steak Sauce, or any of the other sauces on offer, is an insult at that cost. If I had ordered the Porterhouse for 2 ($111) and had to pay extra for sauce, I would be supremely cheesed off. Wouldn’t you? But that’s an easy-enough fix. Now that I’ve gotten that rant off my chest, I’ll get back to the meal. We started off with fresh Oysters and Littleneck Clams ($3 per piece), presented on a bed of ice with lemon wedges, sweet and sour mustard and sprightly mignonette sauces, and a wee bottle of Tabasco. Pristinely fresh, they tasted sweetly briny. I commend chef Dominic Zumpano for attempting to remake the Caesar salad with something other than the ubiquitous (and tired) kale. He opted for a tatsoi “Caesar” ($11) with white anchovy crisps, brioche croutons and a batonette of roasted garlic custard. While I enjoyed the dark green tatsoi, the brioche croutons had an unappealing sweetness that added nothing to the dish; the garlic custard would’ve been better served in a different form that highlighted its texture, and there wasn’t

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DINING | review

enough of the garlic element. Squash Blossoms ($17) come stuffed with an airy crab and whitefish mousseline. The visually arresting presentation includes an emerald green, basil-accented puree, two plump deep-fried zucchini flowers, sweet corn kernels and a variety of summer squash preparations. And though I didn’t understand the bright red line of “fried chicken spices” down one side of the plate, it was gorgeous. We loved the Shrimp Scampi ($19), with two ginormous shrimp atop light and lovely sautéed gnocchi tossed with snipped snap peas and pea shoots on a bed of garlic cream. Housemade barbecue sauce, an unbilled player, also makes an appearance and works surprisingly well in the dish. Ask Sommelier and General Manager Robert Bansberg for a perfect pairing; the 2013 Chateau Revelette Rosé ($10) was just right. Speaking of adult beverages, don’t miss the specialty cocktails, made with great care and a bit off the beaten path. In keeping with the flight theme, the Langley’s Aviation ($11), made with Langley’s Gin, Alpine Violet Liqueur, Luxardo, lemon juice and sparkling wine, was the color of an airplane wing at dusk, tinged lightly with purple but silvery in hue. Even the maraschino cherries are made in house.

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The Wild Alaska Coho Salmon ($35), vadouvan-spiced and paired with heirloom carrot purée, chanterelle mushrooms and horseradish foam, was a substantial and beautifully seasoned dish, but again, pricey. Sides range from the impossibly creamy (but under-seasoned) Potato Puree ($8) to the just-spicy-enough Asparagus Succotash ($12), made of chopped poblano peppers, okra, corn, asparagus and red peppers. The house-made IPA-infused rolls are calorie worthy, especially slathered with the creamy Dutch butter on offer. Desserts were a very pleasant surprise; chef Zumpano shows real range with his skill as a pastry chef. The Goat Cheesecake ($10) was tangy and creamy, three petite cakelets served with butterscotch and toffee streusel. Spumoni ($10) was another winning dish, a deconstruction of the chocolate /cherry/ pistachio flavor trilogy: a pistachio financier was accompanied by cherrypistachio granola, chocolate cremeux and a pistachio “shell” over more chocolate goodness. Other than the sticker shock, it was a very enjoyable evening. PM Prime is clearly catering to a specific clientele, but even the very wealthy can recognize—and appreciate— good value. Please pass the sauce!

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Wednesdays for a free 7 p.m. brewery tour, and don’t miss the whiskey barrel-aged Obfuscation Imperial Stout. 2747 N. Lincoln Ave., Chicago, 773-295-1270, atlasbeercompany.com

DRYHOP BREWERS Brewmaster Brant Dubovick’s brews are a balance of acidity, bitterness, aroma and mouthfeel at this Lakeview gem. His hop-centric ales inspire not only the beer but also the menu, where the thick-cut pork chop and green-curry mussels are made precisely for the drink. 3155 N. Broadway Ave., Chicago, 773-8573155, dryhopchicago.com

LAKE BLUFF BREWING COMPANY

The Chicago craft beer scene is starting to resemble great beer towns like Portland, Ore. and Brooklyn, N.Y. Happy us! THESE WELCOMING WINDY CITY SPOTS

vary in their food offerings, from basic bar food to sophisticated menus, and even a few that let you order in. Either way, they’re sprouting up to great public fanfare. Here’s an overview of some of those worth a sip—or a growler.

ATLAS BREWING COMPANY Owners Ben and John Saller named their brew pub after the old classic Atlas Brewery, which was around from 1896 through Prohibition. The pub grub is pumped up a notch; the burger might be made of short ribs and the panini filled with mushrooms, and the brews work well with the fare. Join them on

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PECKISH PIG As Howard Street morphs into a new restaurant row, this contemporary American gastropub stands out. Dishes like slow-roasted pork shoulder, rosemary-skewered shrimp or quinoa and kale salad are washed down brilliantly with India’s Panic Attack IPA or the lighter Curly Tail Golden Ale. Their global wine list and extensive cocktail menu doesn’t hurt, either. 623 Howard St., Evanston, 847-491-6778, thepeckishpig.com

RAM RESTAURANT AND BREWERY One of the earliest brewery and restaurant chains, this gastropub (three locations in the area, 30 total nationwide) is more polished than most. Still family owned, the restaurant boasts an ambitious menu that values local ingredients, includes a kids’ menu, and works to highlight the Belgian White Ale and the Big Red beers, to name a few. 700 N. Milwaukee Ave., Wheeling, 847-520-1222, theram.com

PHOTO COURTESY OF SUMMER HOUSE SANTA MONICA AND SPRITZBURDER PHOTO COURTESY OF PECKISH PIG

B Y L A U R A L E V Y S H AT K I N

Just north of Lake Forest, this 5-year-old brew house is doing it the local way, brewing an array of approachable beers using local ingredients and keeping distribution close. The fare tends toward more standard bar food while the focus stays on quality brew techniques. A kids’ menu keeps it family friendly, too. 16 E. Scranton Ave., Lake Bluff, 224-544-5179

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REVOLUTION BREWING

TEMPERANCE BEER COMPANY

This stretch of Logan Square’s Milwaukee Avenue bustles even more since the launch of this brewpub. They produce up to 50 styles of beer, so you’re sure to find one suitable to wash down an array of menu options, from mussels and fish and chips to hand-tossed pizzas. Fill up your kegs and cans at the Kedzie Avenue brewery, which you can tour as well. Brewpub: 2323 N. Milwaukee Ave., Chicago, 773-227-2739; Brewery: 3340 N. Kedzie Ave., Chicago, 773-588CANS, revbrew.com

This casual tap room, situated in back of an industrial space, offers four-ounce tasters, half-pints and pints. The fun part: It’s BYOF, where the “F” is Food. Although they do offer tasty empanadas from local favorite Tomate Fresh Kitchen, you can also order in or bring in your own grub and enjoy and taste through their lineup of head brewer Claudia Jendron’s craft beers like the Gatecrasher, Restless Years or Freedive. 2000 Dempster St., Evanston, 847-864-1000, temperancebeer.com

SKETCHBOOK BREWING COMPANY

Like Temperance, you can tour and taste beer at this quaint north suburban tap house, but you’ll need to order food in from a local restaurant. Named for master brewer and owner Bruce Dir’s rugby-playing days, the beers go from blonde and red ales all the way to Czech-style Pilsners, along with additional seasonal and special beers at their pleasure. Take a tour to get the story and a taste. 161 N. Archer Ave., Mundelein, 847-970-9174, tightheadbrewing.com

PHOTO <CREDIT>

Slated to open by September, this newcomer is a community-supported “nanobrewery” funded through Kickstarter. Brewing partners Cesar Marron and Shawn Decker are passionate home brewers that will now make enough to share via tastings and growler fillings for walk-ins. Sign up to subscribe to their CSA-like beer program. 825 Chicago Ave., Evanston, 847-859-9051, sketchbookbrewing.com

TIGHTHEAD BREWING COMPANY

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ENTERTAINMENT

B Y K E L LY K O N R A D

CHERYL STRAYED: On her best-seller “Wild”—and Being Honest “I wish we could be braver.” It was an answer to a question unrelated to my conversation with best-selling author Cheryl Strayed. I asked her about a project of her husband’s (documentarian Brian Lindstrom), a story about a mentally ill man that died in police custody. Was there anything to be learned from that experience that could be applied to the recent unrest in Ferguson, Mo.? “I think we have a real problem with how to address police misconduct,” she says, adding that so often, situations like these are presented as facts in black and white. “There’s a lot of mistrust. I wish there could be a more nuanced conversation. You can be an imperfect human being.” And with that comes the connection to writing. Strayed says it’s about “being brave on the page and taking those risks to tell the truth.” The truth is something with which Strayed is intimately familiar. Her memoir, “Wild,” is a global best-seller and about

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to become a movie starring Reese Witherspoon as Strayed, hiking the Pacific Crest Trail. I asked Strayed about her book, honesty in writing, and the experience of seeing your life played out before you: Make It Better: There are so many themes in “Wild” that could be considered as central to the story—the physical challenge, the struggle with addiction and sobriety, and the resolution of grief. Was there one particular theme for you that felt more important than the others? Cheryl Strayed: That’s so hard. Obviously, I put my whole heart into theme, wanting every theme to be as powerful as it could be. One of the things I love is listening to what everyone has to say about it, “Oh, it was this theme that got to me,” or “It was here that I cried.” If you do your job as a writer, the book doesn’t belong so much to you anymore; it belongs to those impacted by it. So having said that, I definitely feel like [“Wild”] isn’t mine anymore. It belongs to the readers. There were definitely themes when I was writing it that hit

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me especially powerfully, where I knew that I not only had to tell the truth about what it means to be human, but learn something about myself in the process. I think some people get this idea because it’s memoir, you sit down and write what happened to you, and, of course, it’s a lot more to it than that. It’s trying to make sense and find meaning in what’s happened and convey that in a way that’s relevant to people. I think there were a couple of those themes where I felt like I’ve learned something about myself in a way I could tell others about the sort of human experience and not just my experience. For example, there was the scene in the book [when] it was 19 years ago, I woke up and it was my mother’s 50th birthday. I was mad my mom was dead and I went through that list of everything she’d done wrong, and two days later I get to Crater Lake and I can see what healing looks like. I could see this lake that used to be a volcano that blew up and then was a wasteland and then this beautiful lake. I loved being able to write about the way nature can show us the beauty of transformation and the beauty of healing. When I wrote that scene? I bawled my head off. It meant a lot to me. It was reaching that true place you want to get to when you write. Your mother was and remains important to you. When asked about writing about or through relationships, what advice do you offer? It’s the most complicated part about writing a memoir. You do have to be very vulnerable and open and raw. You have to really go for the truth. There’s no way around it. The advice I give my writing students is try to be open about your own experience, but consider [family members’] privacy and consider their feelings. What was it like to collaborate with Nick Hornby (who wrote the script for “Wild”)? I was really involved in the making of the film. They asked me to read the script and offer feedback … It was really interesting. In order for them to make a good film, they had to reinvent the book in some ways to bring it to the screen. It was a very collaborative effort to figure out, “How does this book come alive? How do we convey this story in a truthful way?” They cared enormously about honoring the book and having that be a realistic portrayal. The film is pretty true to the book. It was an amazing experience. What was it like watching your life play out on screen?

PHOTO <CREDIT>

It’s insane. It is just as weird as you think it is, but it’s beautiful too. Some scenes are more true than others, and there are some that are a re-enactment of my life. It was moving and it was funny—it was all the range of emotions. It was as fun as could be. And the last best book you read? “Blind” by Rachel DeWoskin.

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Cole Porter’s Greatest Hits

COLE PORTER’S GREATEST HITS 

BY ROBERT LOER ZEL

Don’t assume theater groups will be around forever. Many fine ensembles and companies have folded over the years, for one reason or another. And now, the future of Evanston’s Next Theatre is uncertain. All the more reason to turn out for Next’s current season. Don’t take your favorite local theaters for granted. They need your patronage. LUCE

Sept. 27 – Nov. 9 | Next Theatre, 927 Noyes St., Evanston 847-475-1875 | nexttheatre.org The recent news about Next Theatre is worrisome: The group is way behind on its rent to the city of Evanston and may need to find a new home next year. For now, the group is soldiering on, opening its season with this Midwest premiere. The title character of JC Lee’s drama is a teenage boy from war-torn Africa who has been adopted by an American couple. He turns into an all-star high school student, but then troubling questions arise about his past.

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Oct. 3 – 12 | Light Opera Works, at Nichols Concert Hall, 1490 Chicago Ave., Evanston | 847-920-5360 | lightoperaworks.org Few groups lavish as much care and love on classic musical theater shows as Light Opera Works does. And few composers ever wrote as many perfect songs as Cole Porter did. This concert will be filled with witty, elegant and tuneful gems by Porter, like “I Get a Kick Out of You,” “Night and Day,” “I Love Paris” and “Let’s Do It.” It should be a delight. Let’s do it.

BOTH YOUR HOUSES

Oct. 1 – Nov. 9 | Remy Bumppo Theatre (at Greenhouse), 2257 N. Lincoln Ave., Chicago | 773-244-8119 | remybumppo.org Maxwell Anderson’s 1933 political satire won the Pulitzer Prize, but it fell into obscurity in the decades after that. That’s a shame, because it’s still relevant. Dysfunction in Washington, D.C.? Yep, we’ve still got plenty of that. The script’s rapid-fire banter has the cadences of screwball comedies like “His Girl Friday,” but the subject matter is pork-barrel spending at the House Appropriations Committee. With the popularity of the political TV shows “House of Cards,” “Veep” and “Scandal,” the time is ripe for this revival of a forgotten classic.

THE KING AND I

Oct. 22 – Jan. 4 | Marriott Theatre, 10 Marriott Drive, Lincolnshire | 847-634-0200 | marriotttheatre.com Rodgers and Hammerstein’s legendary East-meets-West romance—which starred Yul Brynner on Broadway and on the screen in the 1950s—returns with a new in-the-round staging at the Marriott. Rodgers’ biographer Meryle Secrest once wrote that this show “is really a celebration of love in all its guises.”

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MAKE A DIFFERENCE

B Y CO CO K E E VA N

GI V E T I M E ALLEVIATE HOMELESS AND POVERTY The Night Ministry 773-784-9000 | thenightministry.org Help combat poverty and homelessness in Chicago by donating your time to The Night Ministry. By offering housing, health care and human connection, The Night Ministry works to directly address the immediate needs of Chicago’s most impoverished. Annually, more than 400 volunteers, both individuals and groups, help with direct service, support projects, professional services and administrative help. Volunteers can choose from a variety of shortor long-term opportunities and can work in office, at program sites or even from home. For more information on individual volunteer opportunities, contact Gail Bernoff at 773-506-6015 or by email at gailb@ thenightministry.org.

PROMOTE PELVIC HEALTH AND WELLNESS Women’s Health Foundation 773-305-8200 | womenshealthfoundation.org Women, take charge of your pelvic health! Pelvic health disorders impact women of all ages and from all backgrounds, and it is critical that all women have access to the education and resources to care for themselves. From adolescence through pregnancy and childbirth and even in advanced age, pelvic health matters. The Women’s Health Foundation is committed to improving women’s pelvic health and wellness through funding cutting-edge research; developing and offering community-based education and fitness programs; creating community; and serving as a national resource. For more information on maintaining pelvic health, or to support the Women’s Health Foundation, visit womenshealthfoundation.org. To donate online, visit womenshealthfoundation.org/donate-now.

MAKE THE HOLIDAYS SPECIAL FOR FAMILIES IN NEED The Volunteer Center 847-441-7665 | volunteercenterhelps.org Gear up for this giving season with opportunities from The Volunteer Center. On October 25, join The Volunteer Center for Make A Difference Day, with many nonprofits accepting donations at one central location. Or start prepping for the holidays, as The Volunteer Center needs volunteers for its annual Thanksgiving Greet and Feed. Each Thanksgiving, the center donates baskets of food and decorations to families in need at Good News Partners. The Volunteer Center strives to improve the quality of life in the communities by promoting volunteerism and engaging people in meaningful volunteer service. For more information, visit volunteercenterhelps.org.

CONTINUE A TRADITION OF EXCELLENCE Northwestern Lake Forest Hospital 847-234-5600 | lfh.org As the leading provider of healthcare in Lake County, Northwestern Lake Forest Hospital is committed to providing the highest quality healthcare through its top-ranked team of physicians and nurses. Make a gift by funding grants for clinical departments, donating to the annual fund or honoring an outstanding healthcare professional. Want to celebrate the new community hospital? Bring the family and join the Women’s Board at its annual benefit, Carnaval de Paris, on October 18. The event will feature a performance by Cirque Dreams, as well as a silent auction, a luxury vacation drawing, familystyle dinner and the signature Care to Make a Difference paddle raiser. For more information about the event, volunteer opportunities or donations, contact the Office of Philanthropy at 847-535-6111 or philanthropy@lfh.org.

HELP HIGH-POTENTIAL STUDENTS GAIN ACCESS TO COLLEGE Schuler Scholar Program schulerprogram.org Help high-potential youth gain access to the nation’s most selective colleges and universities by volunteering for the Schuler Scholar Program. Volunteers can help interview applicants and their families during Scholar selection; serve as a College Connections Coach; and provide professional development through resume feedback and career shadowing. The program makes it possible for bright, motivated high school students to matriculate to selective private colleges and universities. Students at partner high schools receive mentoring in college counseling while in high school and a scholarship award for college. Contact Margaret Falter at margaret@ schulerprogram.org for more information on how you or your organization can help.

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PROVIDE COMFORTABLE HOSPICE CARE Rainbow Hospice and Palliative Care 847-685-9900 | rainbowhospice.org Rainbow Hospice and Palliative Care provides comfort and dignity for individuals at the end of their lives; Rainbow extends its services to support bereaved loved ones in Cook, Lake, McHenry, Kane, DuPage and Will counties and offers care in a patient’s home, in the home of a family member, in a long-term care facility or in a hospital. The organization’s services include regular visits by registered nurses; 24-hour availability of nurses for phone consultation and/or emergency visits; chaplain services; and access to bereavement services. There are numerous ways to support Rainbow; consider a simple planned gift or a donation through a gift in a will or estate plan. For more information about gift opportunities, please call the Development Office at 847-692-8882. To donate online, visit rainbowhospice.org/make_a_gift.

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PHOTO COURTESY OF CATHOLIC CHARITIES

GI V E T H I NGS

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ADOPT-A-FAMILY THIS HOLIDAY SEASON Catholic Charities 847-782-4210 | catholiccharities.net The Catholic Charities Christmas Gift Program, which last year provided gifts for nearly 15,000 of Lake County’s neediest people, is in dire need of donors again this year. This adopt-a-family program primarily matches children and limited income seniors with donor families who want to make a difference in the lives of society’s marginalized population. Perpetrators recently broke into the program’s storage facility and stole all of last year’s unclaimed gifts earmarked as this year’s starter inventory. Anyone wishing to purchase gifts for a family this December, please call Jim Wogan or Barbara Campbell at 847-7824210 or e-mail jwogan@catholiccharities.net. Generic gifts and/ or gift cards to replace the stolen items can be dropped off at or mailed to the Catholic Charities Bernardin Center at 671 S. Lewis Ave., in Waukegan, between the hours of 8:30 a.m. and 4 p.m.

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MAKE A DIFFERENCE | better makers

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TEACH FOR AMERICA CHICAGO

Annual Benefit Dinner April 29, 2014 Union Station, Chicago $1.1 million raised

Make It Better was the media sponsor of this event.

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PHOTOS COURTESY OF TEACH FOR AMERICA

SHOWN IN PHOTOS: (1) Kim and Michael Moore, Zig and Don Smith, Cindy and Chris Galvin, all of Winnetka; (2) Regional Advisory Board Chairman Mike Keiser of Chicago; (3) Jay Owen and John Harris, both of Chicago; (4) Teach For America recruits and trains recent college graduates and professionals to teach for two years in urban and rural public schools.

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JEWISH UNITED FUND/JEWISH FEDERATION OF METROPOLITAN CHICAGO

WYLD in Paris Event Jewish “36 under 36” August 7, 2014 Studio Paris

ACT IMP

WILDSCREEN ARKive

Annual Benefit June 19, 2014 Racquet Club, Chicago $107,000 raised SHOWN IN PHOTOS: (1) Pat and Patsy Callahan of Winnetka; (2) Jack Hanna with Event Co-Chair Cindy Galvin of Winnetka; (3) Kelly Golden of Winnetka, Sue Graunke of Barrington, and Cindy Rourke of Glenview; (4) ARKive offers free education resources and events for children ages 5 to 18 to promote conservation, education and public awareness.

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PHOTOS BY ROBERT F. KUSEL

PHOTOS COURTESY OF ARKIVE

SHOWN IN PHOTOS: (1 ) Honorees Tristan Hummel and Katie Vogel, both of Chicago; (2) Honorees Julie Aberman-Hochstadter, Claire Denton-Spalding, Katie Vogel and Annie Warshaw, all of Chicago; (3) Honorees Aimee Halstuk of Highland Park, Tristan Hummel of Chicago, Claire Denton-Spalding of Chicago; (4) The sold-out WYLD in Paris event honored Double Chai in the Chi, Chicago’s third annual Jewish 36 under 36 list.

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SHOWN IN PHOTOS: (1) Astor Rogers of Naperville, Keith Lafayette of Lynwood, Terrence Ewing of St. John, Ind., Kyle Sams of Alsip; (2) Monica Pedersen of Highland Park with the Ryan family; (3) Mark Steffen of Elgin, Kevin O’Tolle of Gurnee, Terri Jane of Elk Grove and Frank Wolffe of Elgin; (4) Catholic Charities’ Loving Outreach to Survivors of Suicide (LOSS) Program for Children and Youth specifically addresses the unique needs and emotions that youth experience after losing a loved one to suicide..

Make It Better was the media sponsor of this event.

ACT IMP

LAKE FOREST SYMPHONY

Annual Benefit June 8, 2014 Private Lake Forest gardens $20,000 raised SHOWN IN PHOTOS: (1) Gail Sturm of Lake Forest with Conductor Vladimir Kulenovic; (2) Jay Owen of Lake Forest, Suzanne Laundry of Lake Forest, Job Youshael of Highland Park; (3) Alice Levert and Mathilda Williams, both of Lake Forest; (4) The Lake Forest Symphony aims to expose young audiences to the thrill of live orchestral music through youth concerts for grade school and junior high students.

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PHOTOS COURTESY OF CATHOLIC CHARITIES

Patrick J. Ryan Golf Outing August 21, 2014 St. Andrews Golf & Country Club $125,000 raised

PHOTOS COURTESY OF LAKE FOREST SYMPHONY

CATHOLIC CHARITIES

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MAKE A DIFFERENCE | local treasure

CAPTURES THE STRENGTH OF CANCER PATIENTS B Y CO CO K E E VA N

It’s not your typical portrait sitting.

Flashes of Hope, a national nonprofit that provides free portraits to children with cancer, has caught them all: the tears, the pain, the introspection, the fear, the elation, but, above all else, hope. With 55 chapters across the country, Flashes of Hope is able to bring its services to more than half of the children diagnosed with cancer annually in the United States. And while the photographs can’t unlock a cure, they can help children with cancer realize their strength. Inspired by her now 15-year-old son Quinn’s own battle with cancer, Cleveland mom Allison Clarke founded Flashes of Hope in 2001. Clarke faced Quinn’s mortality and wanted to capture the moments he had left,

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PHOTOS COURTESY OF FLASHES OF HOPES

There’s the dim fluorescence of hospital lights flooding the shot, the distracting hum of machines mixing with the click-click-click of the camera. And there’s not always the strength to manage a smile, even weakly. It’s best with the smile, a moment of sheer joy encapsulated in a poignant black-and-white photograph. But each of the images— nearly 40,000 in all—captures a different spirit, one often forgotten in the face of cancer: hope.

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MAKE A DIFFERENCE | local treasure

The organization hosts its annual Kick-It event to raise research dollars, bringing kids together to compete in a rowdy kickball tournament and honor Quinn’s favorite sport. The event “allows kids to help kids,” Dekker says. The 350 middle school, junior high and high school students who came out for the 2014 event, held on June 16 at Highcrest Middle School in Wilmette, raised nearly $50,000, far exceeding last year’s modest $10,000. Since 2009, Kick-It events and other Flashes of Hope events have brought in $2.2 million dollars nationally, with 100 percent of the funds benefitting pediatric cancer research. Flashes of Hope’s next big event, the Bag Lady Luncheon, will feature a live auction with new and gently used designer handbags, belts, scarves, vintage jewelry, sunglasses and wallets, as well as unique “fashionista” experiences. Dekker continues to look for items for auction, as well as individual or corporate sponsorships. To donate or to purchase a ticket for the event, scheduled for Wednesday, Nov. 12 at Skokie Country Club in Glencoe, contact Dekker at barrie@flashesofhope.org. whether many or few. She saw the potential to provide a forever keepsake to families fighting cancer with dignity. “These kids exude hope,” says Barrie Dekker, Flashes of Hope Chicago chapter director. “It comes out of every pore of their body. Within the first 15 seconds (of a shoot), you don’t see the sickness; you see the child.”

“We never want a family to have to hear the words, ‘There is no protocol,’” Dekker says. The organization is committed to photographing every child with cancer until every child is cured. For now, they’ll continue to produce gorgeous, professional portraits of hope and fund research trials to help make a world without childhood cancer a distinct possibility.

“It isn’t about photographing sick children,” she says. “It’s about photographing children to help them feel good about their changing appearance, to help them realize they’re brave and beautiful.” Flashes of Hope enlists its cadre of professional photographers to shoot at hospitals, summer oncology camps, holiday picnics and special events; Dekker estimates her Chicago chapter reaches 1,000 kids a year. “We actually get to touch this mission in a very unique way,” she says. “We get to know the kids. It’s not a photo on a billboard of a bald child you don’t know; it’s Emily, or it’s Jason.” Flashes of Hope strives to take cancer children out of the monotony of their stay in the hospital, working with children from infancy to adolescence to capture their journey in an empowering way. “What I have learned over the years is that it’s the teenagers that are so, so incredibly hard,” Dekker says. “These kids are so resilient—the younger kids especially. They’re likely not going to remember much (if any) of it. The teenagers get it. They understand what they’re missing in their regular day-today life. They understand and see the impact it has, the fear and the pain. They understand what it means to live and possibly not live.” In addition to its photography campaign, Flashes of Hope raises funds for pediatric cancer research. Flashes of Hope works with similar nonprofits to determine which research trials it funds, using data from other organization’s medical advisory boards to find the most promising projects. Less than 4 percent of the funding for cancer research currently goes to pediatric cancer research, and Dekker and Flashes of Hope aim to change that through innovative fundraisers.

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CLOSING THOUGHTS

“Fall has always been my favorite season. The time when everything bursts with its last beauty, as if nature had been saving up all year for the grand finale.” —Lauren DeStefano, “Wither”

GLASS PUMPKINS AND PHOTO BY LOCAL GLASS ARTIST DANIEL SVILAND

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Blue Plate Catering

Three Tarts

Bennison’s Bakery

Craig Bergmann

MANY THANKS TO OUR BEST OF 2014 WINNERS WHO GENEROUSLY SUPPLIED FOOD AND DRINK FOR THE CELBRATION: BENNISON’S BAKERY, EVANSTON • BLUE PLATE CATERING, CHICAGO • HEWN, EVANSTON • HOMER’S ICE CREAM, WILMETTE LAO SZE CHUAN, EVANSTON • MASSAGE THERAPY CENTER, WINNETKA • NICK’S NEIGHBORHOOD BAR AND GRILL, WILMETTE THREE TARTS BAKERY, NORTHFIELD • UNION PIZZERIA, EVANSTON

AND A SPECIAL THANK YOU TO THE CHICAGO BOTANIC GARDEN FOR BEING AN AMAZING HOST FOR THE EVENING 85_BestofThankYou.indd 86

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