CASTING COUCH Martin Kearney

Halloween has passed its last whisper, so from November 1st to December 25th, it’s officially Christmas time. The anticipation for the John Lewis Christmas advert leads us to a winter wonderland. – “The Bear and the Hare” remains a personal favourite.

Dozens of festive-themed Hallmark movies are now on repeat, and Netflix boasts its ‘The Christmas Chronicles’ franchise amongst other holiday films, which, to be fair, are quite good. Disney+ delights with ‘The Santa Claus’ series, and modern classics like ‘Last Christmas’, ‘Love Actually’, and ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ are seasonal must-watches. However, for many Millennials and those born in the late ‘70s to ‘80s of Generation X, there will always be one Christmas movie that stands out: ‘Santa Claus: The Movie’.

Not Home Alone or Gremlins or even Die Hard but this tripe The Santa Clause Movie Starring Dudley (I wanted it like Demi Moore not Dudley Moore) Moore.

Created by the team behind the first two Christopher Reeve Superman movies and ‘Supergirl’, and directed by Jeannot Szwarc, ‘Santa Claus: The Movie’ is fondly remembered. Now, why call it tripe if it’s deemed the best Christmas film? Because it is delightfully crappy but ask anyone from my generation for their favourite Christmas film, and the majority will cite this one – the Dudley Moore vehicle, not the Tim Allen series. Despite the movie’s flaws, it has an odd charm with Santa (David Huddleston) oddly ranking third in the credits, preceded by the elf Patch (Moore) and the antagonist, John Lithgow, who always reminded me of my Uncle Joe. The film starts with Santa’s origins and segues into Patch’s departure from the North Pole to New York, where he’s manipulated by a greedy businessman – a role brilliantly played by Lithgow.

If hypothetically, a remake was in the works, who would be the dream cast? Imagine Kim Bodnia of ‘Killing Eve’ fame as Santa – a quick Google search will prove it’s a perfect fit. Ann Dowd, known for her role as the evil sadistic Aunt Lydia in ‘The Handmaid’s Tale’, would bring warmth as Mrs. Claus would make a great change for the talented underrated actress. For Patch, I’d suggest a gender flip to America Ferrera, who has proven her comedic chops and stole the show in the Barbie Movie. And for the corporate villain, why not Taraji P. Henson, who would bring a new dynamic to the character.

Despite its initial flop and critical panning, ‘Santa Claus: The Movie’ has achieved cult status. While I’ve shared my playful critique, the film evokes wonderful childhood nostalgia. You and your family might watch it and wholeheartedly disagree with me – and that’s the beauty of the festive season!