Matters Heart

come up with a strategy. If he is unwilling or unable, are there uncles, cousins, men in the church that you trust with your son?

Try negotiating with your son to attend church with you at least once a month. Spend one-on-one time with him. Tell him about the hopes and dream you had for him when he was born. This may be met by anger, and he might not want to hear but he needs to know that you love him.

Express your love for him and pray for him ardently. You have not lost the battle yet. Don’t give up on a turnaround for your boy.

Will I find love as a dark-skinned woman?

I am a dark-skinned young woman where nearly everyone in my immediate family, apart from my dad, are fair-skinned. Growing up, people would compliment my sisters on being pretty, and if they said something to me it would be: “You’re pretty for a dark-skinned girl.” I have also seen some of the negative social media videos about dark-skinned women. My confidence has been a little dented but am buoyed by my faith and being made in God’s image; however, I have noticed that the guys in my church tend to only date the light-skinned girls and it’s the light-skinned girls who are getting married. It’s now made me a little fearful of achieving my future goal of getting married. How can I increase my confidence in being a dark-skinned woman and believe that I can achieve my dream to be married?

Angela, London

Pastor Yvonne: It seems as though everything is measured by your complexion. It might be the first thing people see about you, but what else do they see when they interact with you? What do they hear coming from your heart via your mouth? I promise you this will be far more important than your shade.

Is getting married your only aim in life? What about your education, your work your ministry? Allow your faith to be the tool that causes you to believe the Bible. Read Psalm 119:13-16. Did God really make a mistake, or did He take as much care in making you as He did with your siblings?

Every individual usually has a ‘type’ they are attracted to. One day someone will fall in love with you and a large part of it will be your complexion that attracts them. I suggest that you move away from this limited way of thinking as, in the long run, it will affect you negatively.

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Pastor Yvonne Brooks is a co-pastor at New Jerusalem Community Church, Birmingham, and founder of Woman of Purpose, a ministry that encourages women to fulfil their purpose. She is also a speaker and author. For more details visit www.yvonneelizabethbrooks.co.uk