Anne’s Adoption Journey with Coram

Anne shares her story with Keep the Faith and Jennifer an Outreach Ambassador for Black African and Caribbean Families at Coram Ambitious for Adoption, a Regional Adoption Agency covering areas within the M25 to encourage others to consider adopting.

Black African and Caribbean heritage children wait longer for a new family. At Coram, we know how important it is to find a stable, loving home at the earliest opportunity for their long-term emotional development and well-being.

Anne a practicing Christian, and a single woman of black Caribbean descent has recently adopted two siblings through Coram. She describes the excitement and challenges, the myths that might prevent many from coming forward and how her Christian faith helped.

Anne always wanted to adopt, and her network of family and friends are proud and supportive of her decision. She started her journey by attending a preparation course with a Christian organisation. This helped her think about adoption from a Christian perspective, understand the backgrounds of children and their reasons for coming into care.

In December 2020 Anne was approved as a prospective adoptive parent for Coram. In June 2021, her daughter Rachel then aged one, joined the family. Rachel’s younger sibling Emily was welcomed in May 2022.

Why Coram?

I have friends who adopted through Coram and had heard positive things. After attending Coram’s Information Event, I spent six months putting practical things in place – such as working locally – I was then in a stronger position to care for my family through adoption.

Tell me about the assessment process I wondered what questions the social worker would ask. Are they trying to catch me out? I worried about not being able to articulate myself, then my mum reminded me they need to know my story so they can decide which child I can be matched with. My Christian faith helped me, I thought if this is meant to be, God will provide.

Once the assessment started there was nothing to worry about. Although thorough, I had space to reflect on what I could bring to an adopted child. It’s been great that Steph, my social worker, has been with me throughout my assessment for both children. We built a relationship that supported me once I started parenting.

Steph was great. I am bit sad she closed my case as I thought we were going to be friends forever!

How has your life changed since adopting? It has been a whirlwind but amazing. I have to plan everything, down to having a shower! Rachel can have an unsettled night, but wakes in the morning with a lovely smile. I am getting used to taking care of someone else’s needs, we are having new experiences and getting to know each other.

How do you manage to find time for yourself with two very young children? Mum comes to see us every weekend, groceries are delivered and I batch cook. We go for walks and play sessions with other parents and carers where we chat together. My support network have been incredible, I can turn to my life-long friends as well as other adopters. I value the importance of self-care and look after myself when the children are asleep or mum is here.

What do you think prevents African and Caribbean families coming forward to adopt?

I have come across people who would like to adopt but are fearful of what social workers will ask, especially if their childhood or teenage years were difficult. From my experience of the assessment and meeting other adopters, people’s backgrounds do not necessarily prevent them from becoming adoptive parents, it is just they will need to talk about it. Social workers are professional and deal with difficulties with respect.

What was the support like from Coram? My social worker has been a great source of support. When I first took Rachel home, Steph said “call me when you get home” and she would check in with me every evening which was nice.

Finally, we asked Anne’s mother what her role is and whether she had any fears for Anne during the process. I am the children’s Nana – if Anne needs me I am there to support her. It was Anne’s decision and this is what she wanted. By his grace everything has turned out fine and we are so thankful – the children are amazing. They have greatly enhanced our lives and we are all very happy.

If you are interested in adoption and live within the M25 please visit www.coramadoption.org.uk, email Jennifer.Kwakye1@coram.org.uk or call 020 7520 0383