It’s an
Enlightening Views According to Sophia
Inside Job “I don’t know what to do.” was the plaintive cry from my friend Joe. He felt conflicted about whether he should remain in a toxic job where the boss admitted to being “out of control” or should he leave, regardless of any financial repercussions. I listened and honored the feelings and unmet needs being expressed by my friend. And when he felt heard, I invited him to consider that something better was awaiting him if he let go. I had learned about “something better” from Carol, who had left a toxic marriage. After her divorce, Carol started losing all her old friends because she was no longer “Carol and Dave.” Then she lost her job and, finally, her house. Carol thought the universe was punishing her in some way and grieved her losses. She stayed in a dark emotional space for a long time, feeling abandoned and betrayed. Then she started to look within to see if there was something she could do to reverse her situation. She realized she had some inner emotional demons that were holding her back.
abundance. He’s happier and healthier than he’s ever been, and he continues to do his personal healing work. I’ve shared my friends’ stories because they inspire me to continue to do my own inner house cleaning. I hope their experiences resonate with you, so that wherever you are on your journey, you continue with your own great work, knowing it is your right (and responsibility) to live abundant, healthy, job-filled lives.
wwwww Sophia Falke is minister at Unity Center in the Valley, Las Vegas. Information on programs at Unity Center can be found at www.uciv.org, Facebook.com, or Meetup. com. Sophia is also a certified coach, seminar leader, and professional speaker through her business Embracing Greatness (www.EmbracingGreatness.com). You can reach her at Sophia@EmbracingGreatness.com or by calling or texting 702-283-3117.
With this new insight, Carol shifted from thinking of herself as a victim to seeing herself as an empowered woman willing to heal and release her demons. As Carol did her inner work, she began to notice that into the vacuum of lost husband, friends, job, and home, something new and wonderful was tapping at her door. There were people and opportunities that had wanted to become part of Carol’s life, but there was no space until she had swept her inner house clean of its demons. I think we have all been in these circumstances. We’re in pain from a toxic relationship and we don’t know where to turn. Some of us think we have to put up with pain because “that’s just the way the world works” or we deserve it because we’re not worthy of better. Some of us believe in the geographic cure—“If I go somewhere else, life will get better.” Or we point to the person or situation causing our discomfort as the reason for our feelings of frustration, anger, fear, sadness, lethargy, and so on. The truth is we deserve and should expect good in our lives. If we move, the common factor is still present—ourselves. And it is never about “them” or “it.” If you or I are suffering, there is something inside us that is calling out, wanting to be recognized and healed. Dr. Michael Ryce, author of Why Is This Happening To Me…Again?! says, “Seldom does it occur to the confused mind that, ‘If I’m present in every experience of my life, perhaps I’m involved in creating my pain.’ Rarely does it occur to a mind to ask themselves, ‘If they’re the one with the problem, why am I the one with the pain’ Only for a fleeting moment can this mind conceive that it might have set itself up for what is happening…Again!” As much as we might be tempted to try to “fix” the person or situation we initially blame for our pain, it really isn’t about the outside stimulus. And when we look outside for the cause, we invite more pain into our lives because we are telling the universe we are victims. The truth is toxic situations and pain are invitations to heal and reveal the joy and aliveness waiting on the other side. We have the responsibility (ability to respond) to heal ourselves. This is a much more inspiring and energizing mindset to embrace, and one that creates the vacuum for our good to rush to us—as it did to my friend Carol. And my buddy in a toxic work environment? As we continued to talk, he identified areas in his own psyche that needed healing and began to see how he was holding himself back—and perhaps making himself sick—by remaining in his job. He did his work, left his toxic job, and the universe responded with
IN LIGHT TIMES • may, 2014 • PAGE 9