By Bryce Sanders

The Curious Case of the Boomerang Child

You can learn a lot about life by watching your birdhouse. The bird couple shops around, deciding on your birdhouse. They go through the process of nesting. For birds this means finding twigs, because there is no version of IKEA for birds, at least not yet. The young birds are born. Eventually they leave the nest, find mates and repeat the process for themselves. Your client thought their nest was empty until suddenly one or more of their children returned. What now?

As an insurance professional, you do not see how this problem concerns you. They aren’t your children. You didn’t send them back to their parents. Here is the issue: You are working with your client, implementing their financial plan, step by step. Suddenly their grown child moves back home. Your client promotes this event to crisis stage and will not direct any attention to financial planning until this crisis is resolved or at least downgraded.

This problem can happen at different stages in life. The Gen Y child moving back home after college is one example. In 2019 Forbes reported 50% of Millennials were making that move. (1) Covid had an effect too. According to a 2020 article from CNBC 39% of younger Millennials were planning on returning to the nest. (2)

OK, it’s an unexpected development. Your client might be thinking this is a permanent move. They are haunted by thoughts about the 2006 movie “Failure to Launch.” How should your client approach the situation?

• This can be a good strategy. If their child lives at home, they can save money for a down payment for their first home or accelerate paying down their college loans.

• If they do not have a job, they could use the house as their office and headquarters for their job hunt.

• Your client should avoid confrontation, but set a timeframe for how long their boomerang child will be staying. This can always be revised, but a “checkout time” should be established up front.

What can the consultant do in the meantime? This is an opportunity to be understanding and compassionate. Your client needs a sounding board. Lending an ear will help to strengthen your relationship. Your client knows you are trying to help and not getting paid for your time.

What else can the consultant do? They can work through “what if” situations with the client, working together to seek solutions. What kind of job does their child want? What profession has their education prepared them to join? If they are following in the client’s footsteps, can the parents make connections for them? As their consultant, can you help through your connections?

Does their child have a plan? This situation can be viewed from the perspective of an executive who has received a severance package. They have a place to land while they search for their next position. Is their child getting help with their job search or are they going it alone? The college alumni office should be able to help.

As their consultant, you are not a therapist, but you should remind your client they are doing something wonderful for their child. They have helped them achieve a soft landing. Is their child appreciative of the help they are getting? Is your client being supportive in their efforts? At work you know the difference between a sales manager who helps you do business