The Video Call

In the old days in India, Pakistan or Africa, we had the letter, telegram and telephones. There were no mobiles then - only landlines, which were very expensive. Telegrams were sent across oceans as a quick way to share happy or sad news. Faster than a letter. Cheaper than the telephone. A middle way.

Then phone cards came. When I moved to England, landlines were still very expensive. So I’d buy a £1 card to ring abroad. I would call home every Saturday. 5 to 10 minutes max because I couldn’t afford more time.

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Then email came. Younger relatives fired off emails to each other. But our grandparents and parents still wrote letters, with occasional phone calls.

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Then Skype, WhatsApp and Zoom came. Video calls made it much easier for everyone than before – and it was free! We could call our loved ones immediately. Find out what they were having for dinner or ask the missing ingredients in Nanni’s pau bhaji recipe. See their faces. Be with them in those moments. In some ways, it’s better. In some ways, I miss the touch of their words, thoughts, feelings on paper. Words they’ve taken time to shape, to gift me.

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When we video call family abroad, sometimes we all call altogether. Other times, we call oneby-one. When there’s a special occasion like Eid or Diwali, we’re all together. They’re all together. We can see everyone. They can see all of us. Bridging oceans, we celebrate happy times together, in the same moment, reaching each other beyond the screen.

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One time, in India, after 16 years of trying for a baby, my cousin and his wife had a baby boy. My cousin’s wife was in hospital giving birth. We were all on the call the whole time. We knew when the baby’s head came out, when his stomach came out, when his legs came out. We knew the very moment he was born into the world - we were on WhatsApp the whole time!

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But some elders abroad don’t have new technology or know how to use the latest gadgets. My grandparents - it’s just the two of them. Usually, we phone them on the landline. But their helper has a smartphone. So when she comes, we ring her so we can see them. It’s a connection for us and the kids as well.

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Then there’s my daughter – she has cousins in India, South Africa, America, England, all over. They really miss each other. So they make a lot of video calls. Always in Gujarati – a language she never used to understand. Sometimes, there are 8 or more cousins on a call. They pass it to whoever else is in their houses. When you’ve got 10-15 people in a house, there are a lot of people! Mamas, Fois, cousins, brothers and sisters. When we last went to India, my daughter didn’t know any of her relatives. Now, she knows them all better than I do! Even if I’m busy, she calls them to see how they are. In lockdown, it’s even more than usual!

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