need wood
by woody miller
H
Hey Woody, whenever I meet somebody new I get all anxious about the first few texts. My mind goes blank and I end up writing some genius thing like, “Nice meeting you last night,” or “How are you?” REALLY!!!????? That’s the best I can come up with? Really. Help me out. -Texticapped
a lot to process!
DearTexticapped: Remember the Seven Golden Rules of Flirty Text Messaging and you'll be blowing up their phones with witty, funnytextmessagesinnotime.
sendatextmessagelike: My neighbor asked me for name suggestions on the two puppies she just got. What do you think aboutMilliVanilli?
1) Do Not Send Open-ended Texts.
3) Reinforce The Memory of Your Interaction.
The very worst ones to send are well,theonesyou’vebeensending. Texting, “How are you?” to a guy you’re interested in? You may as well say: "Can you come up with something interesting to say because I'm so freakin' boring the plaster peels off the wall when I talktoit.”
2)CreateValueWithYourTexts. Interest, smiles, laughter, these are all values you can give to the other personontheline. Youcan'tcreate valuewithalinelike,"howareyou?" In fact, you're putting the burden of providing value on them. Say you got the number of somebody you're interested in but not quite sure they feel the same level of intensity you do. You can't overtly flirt so you have to create value in other ways. By engaging their creativity, for example. You could
If you both complained about your boss when you talked, extend the conversation through funny texts. Example: My boss is doing the work of three men: Larry, Moe and Curly. Hope your dayisgoingbetter. The point is to make every flirt textvibratewithawittysheenthat makes the other person want to knowyoubetter.
4) Keep It Short. Length isn't just the enemy of humor; it's also a flirt-killer because it communicates neediness. As in, you're so lonely and bored that you've just spent 15 minutes composing a text and youexpectthemtodothesame.
5) Use Proper Grammar. Once, a friend showed me a text from a guy he was interested in.
The guy asked him to ""brekfiss" and my friend was like, “no way am I going out with a dunce like that.” I took a look at all of his texts and couldn't tell if he was using abbreviations or whether he was anilliteratewhokuldntspill.
6) Make Them Smile. Once, I got a text that said, "Last night I renamed my iPod The Titanic. Now when I plug it into my computer it says, "The Titanic Is Syncing." How could you not want togettoknowthatpersonbetter?
7) Don't Over-Text Never, EVER send a second or third text if they haven't responded to yourfirst. Waitadayoryou'regoing to seem desperate. The truth is, if they don't respond right away they're just not that into you. Sending additional texts will just reinforce the nagging feeling that you're not for them. Don’t give up-it just means you need to exercise patience. In 24-36 hours send them a text that'll pique their interest. Something that has to do withthemlike,"Ijustmetyourtwin."
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