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How did Steve get here?
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On 3rd October, it was a joy for many of us to be able to share, albeit remotely, in the service at Chester Cathedral during which Steve Murphy was ordained as priest. It was the culmination of several years of prayer, study and sheer hard work by Steve (and his family), but also the start of another journey. Preaching at Evensong the following day, Steve used the texts Psalm 23 (The Lord is my shepherd), Ezekiel 34:11-16 (I will search for my sheep) and John 10: 11-15 (Jesus is the Good Shepherd) to share some thoughts with us about his, and our, journey with God and he has kindly allowed me to share his words:
How did I get here?
Ever look back over your life and think how did I end up here? Looking back over the past year is scary enough. If someone could have told us last year what 2020 was going to look like would any of us believed them? I think not. I was considering this whole issue of looking back and remembered a poem, ‘Footprints in the Sand’:
One night I dreamed a dream. As I was walking along the beach with my Lord. Across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life. For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand, One belonging to me and one to my Lord.
A beautiful image – you and God travelling side by side through life – but as the poem goes on the writer becomes troubled because at the most difficult times of their life, they see only one set of footprints and so ask God: ‘Why did You leave me?’ God answers:
He whispered: ‘My precious child, I love you and will never leave you Never, ever, during your trials and testings. When you saw only one set of footprints, It was then that I carried you.’
Wow. The actual poem ends there, but someone wrote an extra verse which tells of the writer seeing the journey continue with the footprints replaced by a long groove in the sand. When the writer asks God about this, the Lord looks and says: ‘Oh that – that’s where I had to drag you for a bit – sometimes kicking and screaming…’. It’s a silly joke but it rings true for me (and possibly you) as a sometimes difficult, sometimes rebellious, tantrum prone child of God. And yet time and time again I’ve experienced God treating me not like a wilful, wayward child, but like His beloved, precious child. I think of the times when I rebel, when my flaws get the better of me – as they do time and time again - when I fall down and I’m broken; I look at these times and see God time and time again bending down like a loving parent to scoop me up, to tend to the grazed knee, to place a reassuring hand on my shoulder and say: ‘Come on, trust me, we’ve got this, you can do this’, to lead me away from trouble or my troubles and into His love and grace. Grace that’s not just amazing – but is sufficient – is enough.
God gives us this grace, this love and mercy, because He wants us to have it, not because we have done anything to earn it. Certainly nothing I’ve done to earn it – quite the contrary in fact. I thank God that grace is the opposite of karma, which is about getting what you deserve; I thank God that grace is about getting what you don’t deserve. The grace of God is the golden thread that runs through the whole of scripture and in Psalm 23, Ezekiel 34:11-16 and John 10: 11-15 grace is expressed not, this time, in the role of parent but that of shepherd, a shepherd of God’s flock, His people. A shepherd who’s leading with love not driving by fear: life may seem full, hectic but He never drives us. Psalm 23 tells us: ‘He makes us lie down in green pastures’ —and gives us rest. Not driven by fear but ‘led beside the still waters’—the living water that Jesus would later speak about. He never drives us; He leads us home with goodness and mercy, and we will dwell in His house forever. That’s the good shepherd giving us good things, good things that perhaps we don’t deserve – that’s grace.
He’s a shepherd who will search out the lost; Ezekiel 34:11 states: ‘I myself will search for my sheep and will seek them out’. That’s the Good Shepherd making it personal, caring for each one of us, even if we feel that we don’t deserve it – that’s grace.
In John’s gospel, Jesus tells us: ‘I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for his sheep’. That’s the Good Shepherd sacrificing his life to save us, taking the punishment we deserve – that’s grace.
And Jesus is more than what we often mean by ‘good’ – having decent qualities or being merely moralistic – and ‘good’ doesn’t catch the full meaning of the word John used in his gospel, which can also be translated as ‘beautiful’. And it isn’t about how Jesus looked – though He may have looked very beautiful – it’s about the sheer attractiveness of His life, His actions and His message. As theologian Tom Wright puts it: ‘It’s about the strange compelling power of His love’. His grace. And the power of that love and grace will take the Good Shepherd to the cross where the shepherd becomes the lamb – the sacrificial Lamb of God, who lays down His life and takes away the sin of the world, my sin and your sin. The cross. That’s where grace and mercy meet.
Grace is the love of God shown to the unlovely; the peace of God given to the restless; the unmerited favour of God available to us all...
So how did I get here? I’m not really sure other than by the grace of God.
Where am I going next? That remains to be seen but I know that wherever it is I can trust the Good Shepherd to lead me.
We started with a poem – so I’ll close with one too, a poem by Thomas Merton that’s also a prayer. As we reflect on his words, and thinking of what the future might hold for each one of us, where the Good Shepherd in His love and grace might be leading us, And I know that if I do this, You will lead me perhaps you may want to make the words of Son and Holy Spirit will be upon us all and this prayer your own:
My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. I think I am following Your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please You does in fact please You. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this, You will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it. Therefore I will trust You always, though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for You are ever with me and you will never leave me to face my struggles alone.
And I pray that the blessing of God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit will be upon us all and give us continued grace, peace and wisdom as we journey onwards with the Good, with the Beautiful, Shepherd. Amen.
The grace of God is an amazing thing. We wish Steve every blessing in his ministry in the years to come.
