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One day a woman ran a red light and nearly smashed into his car, but he swerved in time to avoid her. He yelled, “Crazy woman!” The radio immediately responded: “Hillary, Maxine, Kamala, Warren, Ocasio, or Pelosi?”
John Kennedy At His Best
Here are some recent quotes from Louisiana Republican Senator John Kennedy: I believe America was founded by geniuses but is now run by idiots. I believe you can’t fix stupid but you can vote them out of office. Viktor Frankl was a psychiatrist living in Austria When was the last time you heard of anyone trying to when the Nazis invaded the country. As a result of sneak into China? being Jewish, he, along with his wife and parents, were deported to a Nazi America is so great that people who hate it refuse to leave it. ghetto. Let me say something about the Biden Administration. So far, the Biden Between 1942 and 1945, he was in four different Nazi concentration Administration sucks. camps, including Auschwitz, the deadliest of them all. Of the 1.3 million I don’t like to brag about the expensive places I’ve been to, but this mornpeople sent to Auschwitz, 1.1 million died. However, Frankl narrowly ing I went to the gas station. escaped the gas chambers and survived. In April 1945 when the war I believe exercise makes you look better naked, but so does alcohol. ended, he was finally free. Welfare should be a bridge, not a parking lot. When he was in the camps, Frankl lived out the idea that he later imparted Weakness invites the wolves. to the world in his best-selling book, Man’s Search For Meaning. He wrote: We must arm for peace. “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human We don’t have a gun control problem; we have an idiot problem. freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances.” He Free advice friends: If government tells you not to buy a gun, buy two. continued: “You cannot control what happens to you in life, but you can I believe love is the answer; but you should own a gun just in case. always control what you will feel and do about what happens to you.” I believe if you hate police officers, the next time you are in trouble, call a None of us will likely have to endure the kind of crack head. circumstances Frankl had to go through during his Here’s a free tip: Cops will leave you alone if you Consider the dilemma of being time in the concentration camps, and most if not all don’t do stupid things. a parent of younger children our problems and worries would pale in comparison. I believe we need an election day, not an election Just as it did for Frankl, the grand truth for every one month. today. They have to be able to of us is that we can always choose a positive perspecI believe you should be able to prove who you say explain the birds and the bees, tive over a negative one, whatever the circumstances. you are when you vote. the bees and the bees, the I believe 400,000 bodies buried at Arlington National Cemetery is the reason you should stand for the Nationbirds and the birds, the birds al Anthem. that used to be bees, the bees Why do supermarkets make the sick and infirmed I believe the water won’t clear until you get the pigs that used to be birds, plus walk to the back of the store to get their prescriptions out of the creek. while healthy people can buy candy and gum at the bees that look like birds but front? still have a stinger! Why do people order double cheeseburgers, large PRESBYTERIAN. Rearrange the letters—BEST fries, and a diet coke? IN PRAYER Is an argument between two vegans still called a beef? ASTRONOMER. Rearrange the letters—MOON STARER Why are so many members of Congress millionaires when their annual DESPERATION. Rearrange the letters—A ROPE ENDS IT salary is only $174,000? THE EYES. Rearrange the letters—THEY SEE Why do banks leave vault doors open but chain pens to counters? THE MORSE CODE. Rearrange the letters—HERE COME DOTS Why do we leave expensive cars in our driveways and put junk in the DORMITORY. Rearrange the letters—DIRTY ROOM garage? SLOT MACHINES. Rearrange the letters—CASH LOST IN ME If your electric car runs out of power on the interstate, do you walk to a ELECTION RESULTS. Rearrange the letters—LIES. LETS charging station and get a container of electricity? RECOUNT Why does the sun lighten our hair but darkens our skin? SNOOZE ALARMS. Rearrange the letters—ALAS NO MORE ZS Why can’t women put on mascara with their mouth closed? DECIMAL POINT. Rearrange the letters—IM A DOT IN PLACE Why don’t you ever see the headline ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’? ELEVEN PLUS TWO. Rearrange the letters—TWELVE PLUS ONE Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavoring but dish washing liqMOTHER-IN-LAW. Rearrange the letters—WOMAN uid is made with real lemon juice? HITLER Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food? Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes? Joe bought a new Tesla recently and the sales consultWhy do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? ant explained that its radio was voice-activated. You know that indestructible black box that is used on He demonstrated: “Nelson,” the consultant said. The airplanes? Why don’t they make the whole plane out of radio responded, “Ricky or Willie?” “Willie,” the man that stuff? continued, and “On The Road Again” flowed from the If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terspeakers. Then he said, “Ray Charles”, and in an instant minal? “Georgia On My Mind” replaced Willie Nelson. Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains? Joe drove away happy and for the next few days comWhy are they called apartments when they are all manded a variety of tunes from the car’s sound system. stuck together?
The Story Of Victor Frankl
Philosophical Questions
ANAGRAMS
What A Car Radio!
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JULY 2022 l Southern Loggin’ Times
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