Own Your Sparkle

Reflections on Confidence Building

By Zuri Torres

Imagine this – It’s your first day at a new school. It’s a few minutes before the start of your first-period class, and the hallways are bustling with laughter, chatter, and the sound of lockers shutting.

Take notice of how you feel; are you self-conscious of your appearance and sense a wave of anxiety overcoming you? Or are you strutting down the hallway like it’s your runway and this is your moment to shine? For most teenage girls, and even women, the prior is their reality. New and even familiar social environments can trigger self-conscious behavior that has us overthinking and questioning how others perceive us. So, what is the bridge between that space of discomfort and feeling comfortable within it? Self-confidence.

Self-confidence is a skill that, like any other, requires practice and patience. Not all of us are born with the ability to walk into a room full of strangers and feel completely at ease with ourselves and our abilities. Or perhaps we are, and through the years, we slowly chip away at those pieces of confidence that allowed us to walk up to other kids on the playground and automatically become best friends, unafraid of revealing the complexities that make us uniquely imperfect. As a woman who has struggled with her confidence, I found five ways you can start your self-love journey.

Practice a healthy positive mindset

Low self-confidence can stem from self-doubt, imposter syndrome, fear of rejection, etc. Although we cannot control others’ thoughts and the values which they hold, we can control our own. Practicing words of affirmation such as “I am a hard worker and will find success” or “I am worthy” are great starting points. The goal is to one day look in the mirror and say them not out of routine, but because you truly believe them.

Take risks

I have a wonderful friend who once told me, “If it doesn’t challenge you, it doesn’t change you” and it has been my mantra for years. Taking (controlled) risks and stepping out of self-constructed fear can be an incredible feeling that leaves you feeling stronger. Approach new opportunities thinking about what excites you about them instead of anticipating the worst. Even if you try something new and fail, the courage to try is a win.

Be compassionate with yourself

Negative self-talk can be a go-to tactic when you feel embarrassed in a situation or face a moment of failure. Although your emotions in those moments are valid and meant to be felt and processed, telling yourself you’re “dumb” or “not good enough” is not a coping mechanism to lean into. Imagine talking to your best friend; what

would you tell them? Instead of saying “you’re dumb for thinking you could get an A+ on the test” you’d probably go with “you tried your best, and there is value in that.” Just like you express kindness to those you love, show that same kindness and love to yourself.

Practice your version of beauty

Some girls have been compared to the “perfect” woman – you know, the airbrushed model in ads, or the fictional character in a film, who is exactly that: fictional. The truth is, there is no such thing as the perfect woman and beauty is subjective. Your hair color, style, makeup, and even how you treat others all contribute to a version of beauty that is all your own. Waking up in the morning and making choices that help you feel good and contribute to the person you want to be is gorgeous!

Keep showing up

As I previously mentioned, self-confidence takes time and practice; it cannot be mastered overnight. Try to have patience with yourself. Every day that you make an effort, you’re another step closer to your goal.

When trying some or all these practices, feel free to customize them or add some of your own! There is no set way to accomplish self-confidence, nor is there a deadline by which you should feel you’ve peaked; it is all a constant learning process of accepting and embracing ourselves. We are all people who are gorgeous collages made up of experiences and emotions that are uniquely our own. So instead of feeling unsure and ashamed of those pieces, let’s find the power within them because once they are put together, they create art – or, as I like to say, they make you sparkle.

Self-confidence is a skill that, like any other, requires practice and patience.

Zuri is a member of GSACPC’s Marketing and Communications Team. As a part of her role, she manages Council’s Media Ambassador Program - helping girls build public speaking and creative skills related to the marketing field.