www.thecourieronline.co.uk Monday 20 October 2014 Issue 1296 Free
The Independent Voice of Newcastle Students
STREET ART SPECIAL Graffiti around town and
GOOD VIBES TWIN PEAKS RETURNS But why should you care? p.28
Est 1948
Why girls should celebrate masturbation p.14
Banksy’s return p.20-22
Bomb scare student jailed for making explosives in bedroom 19-year-old bought ingredients for £22 from Amazon
By Charlie Dearnley & Kate Dewey News Editors Vladimir Aust, a former Newcastle student from Russia, has been sentenced to two years in prison following the bomb scare in June at the INTO Language building. He pleaded guilty at Newcastle Crown Court to manufacturing the controlled substance hexamethylene triperoxidediamine (HMTD). During the trial, in which he appeared in court via videolink from Pentonville prison, Aust admitted to buying the required ingredients for HMTD off the website Amazon for £22. The chemical substance is triggered and can explode
if it is dropped, comes into contact with metal, or is exposed to sunlight. HMTD is the same chemical compound that was used in the London bombings on 7 July 2005 and is often used in the mining industry. Newcastle Crown Court heard that Aust had been “The court heard that Aust accessing vidhad been mix- eos on how to anufacture ing chemicals m HMTD, whilst in shared areas also accessing in the INTO Uni- The Anarchist’s versity halls” Cookbook on the internet. This is a
Claimed he didn’t know it was illegal
manual including advice from al-Qaeda, excerpts from the Mujahideen Poisons Book, and information on building improvised explosive devices. Aust was originally arrested on 10 June 2014 under anti terrorism provisions, although the court was told this no longer applied. During the trial it was revealed that Aust had mixed a variety of volatile chemicals in communal areas in the INTO building whilst on his laptop, as well as in his bedroom. Pictures have been released by the Counter Terrorism Unit (CTU) showing chemicals found in Aust’s room, a gas mask, electrical wiring and com-
Uni staff alerted Police when they found cache of knives
ponents, and knives that have been stabbed into a wooden board. A notebook containing the words “improvised explosive devices” was found alongside his belongings. Aust’s defence asserted that he did not know that what he was doing was “dangerous or illegal”, and that causing harm was “the last thing that he would have wanted”. Detective Chief superintendent Ian Wilson, Head of the North East CTU, issued a statement saying: “Vladimir Aust clearly had a growing fascination with chemicals and manufacturing them into explosives. Although there Continued on page 4
Charity football match raises £4500 in memory of Neil Dalton p. 3
Gender neutral toilets to be introduced By Will Ibbott
A new policy put in place by the Students’ Union will see the introduction of gender-neutral toilets in the Union and in faculties. A motion tabled by NUSU LGBT Officer Luke Allison was passed at SU Council, with 70% of councillors approving the idea. Allison argued that the introduction of gender-neutral toilets would do much to alleviate the anxiety and discomfort currently experienced by trans* students, where gendered toilets are concerned. Gender-neutral toilets are toilets which are specified for neither male nor female occupants, and their introduction is not limited to Newcastle University. This movement is following a progressive model which has been adopted by numerous universities across the UK. Allison hopes that by following this trend Newcastle will spread the example to other universities. NUSU have acknowledged that it is their duty to cater for all students, as outlined by the Equality Act 2010. They have also acknowledged that trans* students continue to face harassment and difficulty among the student community, with typically high dropout rates as a consequence of this. Research has shown that the UK universities to introduce gender-neutral toilets have been most successful in retaining trans* students, thus affirming their effectiveness. In his statement, Allison said his motion “was not a radical one” but would nonetheless make a radical difference to students Continued on page 5
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News
Monday 20 October 2014
News Editors: Charlie Dearnley, Antonia Velikova and Kate Dewey Online News Editor: Mark Sleightholm courier.news@ncl.ac.uk | @TheCourier_News
thecourieronline.co.uk/news
Agrics cross desert in clapped-out one-litre banger
5 6
- Paul Valery
COMMENT
9 11
UKIP ME HANGING ON Are the Eurosceptics a flash in the pan or a genuine force?
NHS STRIKES
Why we need to support healthcare workers
CULTURE
23 33
Cock-a-doodle-ASBO A man tried to travel 1,033 miles in a A cockerel in the Peak District has been slapped with an ASBO because its early-morning bellowing is disturbing a sleepy Lake District village. Phillip and Caroline Sutcliffe received complaints from the residents of the village of Eyam, Derbs about loud noises, before the local town hall issued the cockerel, and the couple, an anti-social-behaviour-order. They’ve been told to try and calm the bird down or get rid “by Sunday”.
Ed Howe
Holy snake!
@sipa
Leech me alone
Finance
Dirty Money
Probably the worst tip ever: a waitress at the Brother’s Bar and Grill in Muncie, Indiana was left shocked when she realised that a $2 tip she was given by a 17-year-old member of the Ball State football team was covered with fecal matter. She stated that the three boys laughed as they left the restaurant and she accepted the tip.
NUSU, King’s Walk, Newcastle upon Tyne, NE1 8QB. Tel: 0191 239 3940
The Courier is a weekly newspaper produced by students, for students. It’s never too late to get involved in the paper, whether you’re a writer, illustrator or photographer. Email editor. union@ncl.ac.uk for more information.
Art
Bizarre
Health
WHALE OF THE WEEK
The name’s whale - beluga whale
Police in Bristol have apprehended a man for “aggressively mopping” a hotel floor. 30-year-old John Thornton spotted an employee not cleaning thoroughly and so he snatched the worker’s cleaning mop and began mopping in an aggressive manner, despite pleas from hotel staff for him to stop. The cleaner was left “shaken” and will be pressing charges.
Animal life
DAMN FINE CHERRY PIE Why you should care about Twin Peaks
Aggressive mopper
ix
MONGOL RALLY
“The wind is rising... and we must try to live”
Complaints submitted to library services revealed
e h t
Science
m
SORT IT, MRS ROBBO
Wise words:
In
NEWS
The Courier
Cross-species communication is very A Brit who’s been backpacking in Vietnam has returned with a leech as long as her forefinger and as thick as her thumb stuck up her nose. Daniela Liverani was travelling around South-East Asia when she started suffering persistent nosebleed. The 24-year-old assumed it was just a burst blood vessel: “I had a motorcycle accident a few days previous to the nosebleeds so I assumed the two incidents were related”. She was in the shower when suddenly the leech partly fell out of her nose and began dangling in front of her eyes. Karl Ragnar Gjertsen
A poisonous python has been found in a woman’s bath in Hebburn, near Newcastle. Natasha Evans, 17, went to start running water for a bath when she spotted the snake out of the corner of her eye. Terrified, she ran out of the bathroom - only to come back a few moments later to check that she hadn’t imagined it. She contacted her previous next-door neighbours, who were snake collectors. They had lost the snake when moving house in July, but had assumed it dead and so “didn’t bother checking”. In a poll asking what members of the public would do if they found a snake in their bath, 59% said they would call the RSPCA - 23% said they would lock the door and never go back in, whilst 6% said they would “get in the bath anyway.”
Politics
Kim Jong-sugar North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un is apparently a fan of The Apprentice, Top Gear and Morrisey. A download-monitoring website found that the parliament in Pyongyang had been downloading the BBC shows and Smiths records. One leading newspaper claimed “Alan Sugar might fire you, but at least he won’t feed you to dogs”.
Editor Tom Nicholson News Editors Charlie Dearnley, Antonia Velikova, Kate Dewey and Mark Sleightholm Comment Editors Victoria Armstrong, Matt Corden and Ruth Davis Culture Editor Kate Bennett Lifestyle Editors Tom Tibble, Annie Lord, Jack Dempsey and Holly Suttle Fashion Editors Amy O’Rourke, Hannah Fitton and Hannah Goldstein Beauty Editors Charlotte Davies, Charlotte Maxwell and Kathy Davidson Arts Editors Becka Crawshaw, Lucy Chenery and Jess Harman Film Editors David Leighton, Rosie Bellini and Lucas Fothergill Music Editors Jamie Shepherd, Dominique Daly and Chris Addison TV Editor Helen Daly, Ellie Mclaren and Rebecca Dooley Science Editors Penny Polson, Laura Staniforth and Jack Marley Sports Editors Jonty Mawer, Peter Georgiev, Huezin Lim and Josh Nicholson
Penis paint attack A Banksy mural in Folkestone has been crudely defaced with a picture of a penis. The damage is not expected to be permanent, and Folkestone council have said they will have it cleaned up. The incident has sparked furious comments on social media, with one Twitter user exclaiming: “Nice one Folkestone. I knew I could rely on you to paint a penis on a Banksy”.
Relationships
Love machine
A man, who publicly revealed he has had sex with over 700 cars has appeared on ITV’s Good Morning breakfast show. Edward Smith, 63, from Washington, US, told the show how he had first become sexually attracted to cars when he was 15. Explaining how it is possible to make love to a car, Edward added: “I’m not really attracted to any sort of, may I say, penetration.” He has been with the love of his life, Vanilla, since 1982 but stresses that he’s aware that she’s a car and not a sentimental being.
Robert Couse-Baker
The Courier is printed by: Print and Digital Associates, Fernleigh House, 10 Uttoxeter Road, Derby, Derbyshire, United Kingdom, DE3 0DA. Established in 1948, The Courier is the fully independent student newspaper of the Students’ Union at Newcastle University. The Courier is published weekly during term time, and is free of charge. The design, text, photographs and graphics are copyright of The Courier and its individual contributors. No parts of this newspaper may be reproduced without the prior permission of the Editor. Any views expressed in this newspaper’s comment pieces are those of the individual writing, and not of The Courier, the Students’ Union or Newcastle University.
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news.3
Monday 20 October 2014
Medics remember lost friends with charity football match Neil Dalton Memorial Match FC Belper United 1-3 Newcastle Medics 20’ Ben Hawkins 67’ Guy Hindley 75’ Ali Watson 79’ Josh Batham
By Peter Georgiev With the sun gradually rising just above the Eastern horizon, an enigmatic red and silver coloured bus left Newcastle on a chilly Sunday morning. Inside, students prepared themselves for a fourhour journey whilst discussing their final destination. But in that lively atmosphere, one could vaguely recognize a certain melancholy slowly spreading around the passengers. On the highway to central England, the coach confidently advanced through the foggy air to approach Belper, an almost off-the-grid place in Derbyshire. With a population of just over 20,000, this pleasant town incorporates all the features of a larger city but is usually terra incognita to many of its visitors. However, on that particular Sunday morning, there is one unique feature Belper is renowned for - it is the home of Neil Dalton. In early August, Neil and his friend Aidan Brunger, both 22-year-old medical students, were attacked in Borneo, Malaysia and tragically lost their lives after a knife attack. Afterwards, the two young men had been awarded honorary degrees by Newcastle University. On the island, they were doing their electives along with fellow coursemates. Some of them play for the Medics XI intramural football team, which Neil captained. Now, the Medics have allied with Belper
United FC to compete in a charity game and raise money in his memory. This is why no strangers are on that bus. Only people brought together by a common noble cause. The group arrives in Belper at lunchtime. A dozen girls steps off the coach followed by around thirty Medics players dressed up in white shirts and blue-red ties, all set to participate in the contest. With a warm smile and
cancer and other blood disorders. Neil himself had been placed on the stem cell register and actively raised funds for the foundation. Prior to university, Dr Dalts, as his former coach Paul Postlethwaite nicknamed him, impressed with his talent for more than ten years. From the Belper Sports U9 formation to Belper United Men’s squad, the rising footballer has left long-lasting traces in the minds of
“Without doubt, Neil Dalton will remain fondly in our hearts and will always be a Belper United legend” open arms, Neil’s father, Phil Dalton, greeted his guests and escorted them to the Marston’s Stadium, Belper’s home ground. Although nothing close to the sizes of its Premiership equivalents, this simple venue, originally known as Christchurch Meadow, captivates with the same romantic aura of authentic British football. The facility is installed with only 500 seats but the attendance much exceeded the capacity. At the entrance, spectators are already lined up in queue to purchase a special matchday programme published as a tribute to Neil. All proceeds from the game were donated to the Anthony Nolan Trust, a charity which fights blood
teammates and managers. Postlethwaite’s words support that impression to the fullest: “Without doubt, Neil Dalton will remain fondly in our hearts and will always be a Belper United legend” Half an hour before kick-off, both teams returned to the changing rooms after a dynamic warm-up. Adjacent to the stands, current Medics captain David Gardiner stayed outside to meet Belper defender Jamie Jones. Their combined efforts lie at the root of the commemorative event. “Positivity and happiness were something Neil brought into everybody’s lives”, Jamie says. The positivity spread by Neil illumi-
Clockwise from left: Neil Dalton as captain of the Medics 2s; the teams before kick-off; Neil’s dad Phil and brother Glen with Neil’s Belper United shirt; the auction items; and the two teams come together to celebrate Neil at the end of the game. Images: Zhulien Genev
Photo: Orla O’ Connor
nated his entire memorial as well. Under the sounds of the Europa League anthem, Belper United and the Medics enter the pitch encouraged by an exalted crowd at the Marston’s ground. Instead of the traditional minute of silence, the match was preceded by sixty seconds of rapturous applause. Then, the referee blew his whistle to begin a truly exciting encounter. An intense first half did not live to the fans’ expectations for a goal-fest but instead turned into a spectacular physical battle. Although both teams struggle to keep the ball, the match was not short of highlights. A quick one-two between Matt Morris and Adam Young down the Medics’ left channel allowed the latter to shoot from distance in the hands of goalkeeper Lewis Bamford. Meanwhile, the stadium exploded in ovation each time visitors’ captain Phil Dalton touched the ball. Having survived the initial scare, Belper made the opening statement. Ben Hawkins evaded his marker, displayed precise ball control and unleashed a blast to put the hosts in front. Afterwards, a dangerous free-kick on the edge of the box invited Belper to double their lead but the shot flew wide to mark half-time. The second part saw an inspired Medics side looking to find a way to the net but some delightful acrobatic dives from Belper’s goalie kept the score at 1-0. However, the inevitable happened soon after the hour mark as the Med-
ics completed a remarkable turnaround in just twelve minutes. Ten yards from goal, a low cross found Guy Hindley who threw himself to equalize with a beautiful header. Next in line, Ali Watson tamed a cutting through pass and immediately converted to give his team the edge. Then, Josh Batham cracked in another one from close range to end it at 3-1 in favour of the guests. The friendly contest may have finished but electrifying scenes were far from over. A symbolic trophy is handed to the Medics to inflame a mutual celebration with the Belper squad. And so, gathered in the middle of the ground, all of them passionately chant “Oh, Neil Dalton! You are the love of my life, oh, Neil Dalton!”, covering Andy Williams’ evergreen standard ‘Can’t Take My Eyes Off You’. Clearly designed with the taste of a true football admirer, the cozy restaurant at Christchurch Meadow offers an optimal setting for a post-match experience in Belper. The memorial reached its climax with an auction inside. Stand-out items among the seven on offer were photos of Chris Waddle’s historic goal against Sheffield United in 1993 signed by himself and a cycling shirt signed by Christopher Froome. One piece even falls into the pure jewel category – a framed collage of Geoff Hurst, the only player to ever score a hattrick in a World Cup final, featuring his autograph. Nevertheless, neither of them is as poignant as Neil’s personal Belper United jersey handed to his father Phil and brother Glen. By the end of all sales, fundraising from the pieces amounted to £1,105. According to Jamie Jones, however, the combined proceeds from the charity event reach an astounding estimate of £4,500. As Belper town gives up under the evening darkness, forty medical students foundnd themselves on the road back to Newcastle sunk in the collective thought of their cherished friends. All of a sudden, silence is broken by the majestic sounds of a singing crowd. And right there, in that very moment, one could sense the melancholy evaporating straightaway, heroically defeated by the powerful legacy of Neil Dalton. A second charity match between the Medics 1s and 2s will be played on 26 October at Cochrane Park to remember both Neil and Aidan. Kick off is at 2pm.
4.news
Monday 20 October 2014
The Courier
Researchers make cancer breakthrough By Claire Hawthorn Friday 24 October marks the Breast Cancer Campaign charity’s flagship fundraising event ‘wear it pink’, and never has the importance of the money they raise been more apparent. This week researchers from the School of Biomedicine, whose research is funded by the charity, have released groundbreaking findings into what they believe could be the “Achilles’ Heel” of breast cancer. Professor David Elliott and fel“This latest re- low researchers search... could Dr. Andrew Best and Dr. Alison prove vital in Tyson-Capper inpreventing vestigated the two the spread of proteins Tra2β Tra2α, which breast cancer” and appear in large volumes in breast cancer cells. They discovered that the removal of these two proteins from the cell disabled a third protein, CHK1, which aids cancerous cells in dividing and growing. Thus, the removal of Tra2β and Tra2α stunts the cancer’s ability to grow or spread. Knowledge of CHK1’s ability to help malignant cells repair faults in their chromosomes is well established, but Professor Elliott and his team are the first to discover its connection with the Tra2β and Tra2α proteins. Professor Elliott said of his team’s findings: “We now want to look at different types of breast cancer and investigate if
turning off the Tra2 proteins could be an ‘Achilles’ heel’ for breast cancer cells’ ability to divide and grow”. The primary cause of death in breast cancer is metastasis whereby malignant cells break away from the initial tumour and spread to other organs around the body. At this point the disease can sometimes be stalled but is rarely curable. Around 50,000 women receive a diagnosis of breast cancer every year in the UK and to 12,000 of those it proves fatal. This latest research by Professor Elliott’s team, published in Nature Communications Journal, could prove vital in preventing the spread of breast cancer which is so devastating. The research was funded by money raised by initiatives such as Asda’s Tickled Pink campaign, The McCauley Pink Ribbon Tribute Fund, and Hallmark Cards. The local group Soroptimist International Club of Whitley Bay, District and Tynemouth raised over £16,000 of the £90,000 grant Breast Cancer Campaign awarded to Professor Elliott. Research Communications Manager at Breast Cancer Campaign, Katherine Woods said of the discovery: “The research carried out by Professor Elliott and his team has provided us with crucial knowledge about the roles that two specific proteins can play in this process, bringing us one step closer to our goal that by 2030 we will have identified what causes different tumours to grow and progress, enabling us to select the best treatment for every patient, maximising their chances of survival.”
‘SPREAD THE WORD TO STOP THE SPREAD’: Dr. Tyson-Capper, Dr. Best and Prof. Elliot Image: Emily Iverson
“Vladimir Aust clearly had a fascination with chemicals and manufacturing them into explosives” Continued from front page is no evidence or indication what Aust planned to do with the items he manufactured, the hours he spent researching and working on them is of great concern. “On Aust’s “Some of VK account, the items rethe Russian covered are as poequivalent of classed tentially volaFacebook, he tile and therespoke of us- fore could put those ing peroxide have within the vito ‘whiten cinity at risk.” It emerged black peoduring the triple’” al that anti-social behaviour had been noted on Aust’s VK account, the Russian equivalent of Facebook. Aust spoke of using peroxide to “whiten black people.” After jailing him for two years, Mr Justice Coulson commented that the words that Aust used “spoke eloquently of his unsophisticated world view”. However, Aust’s defence maintained that this was simply a reference to the film Iron Sky. In June, University staff contacted the CTU after they discovered the aforementioned board with knives sticking out of it. As a result, a bomb disposal
unit was called, and both the University halls of accommodation, the Students’ Union, and Haymarket bus station were “Newcastle fully evacuatUniversity ed. The INTO are home staff failed to halls to 112 Newsearch Aust’s castle Universtudents. room after a sityAust was small explo- living in the INTO accomsion” modation whilst studying a foundation course at Newcastle University with the aim of taking a degree in economics. Previously, Newcastle University staff failed to search Aust’s room after a small explosion took place in his University halls. A spokesman for Newcastle University said of the bomb scare: “This was an isolated incident. The safety of our staff and students is always our top priority and we would like to thank Northumbria Police who we worked closely with throughout the incident.” The University originally released a statement saying that Aust was “no longer a student” when the explosives were found, but later retracted this.
The Courier
news.5
Monday 20 October 2014
Too hot, too cold, and where’s my free milk?: library complaints exposed Students becoming increasingly unhappy with different services
By Mark Sleightholm Online News Editor Complaints to the University Library reveal the shortcomings and successes of a vital part of the University. Robinson Library users have become increasingly unhappy with the cafe, the availability of drinking water and the availability of study spaces over the past few years. The last of these issues was partially remedied by the introduction of the Pop-Up Library over the summer exam period, and from 2015 many more spaces will be added with the opening of a new library building on Sandyford Road. Another source of contention towards the end of last year was the lack of free milk, with several students still struggling to make their own hot drinks after the introduction of hot water machine. The Library staff maintain that since the Robinson Library cafe is run by EAT@NEWCASTLE it is their responsibility to provide milk. Michelle Milligan, Food and Beverage Manager at E AT @ N EWCASTLE said: “Students report- “We spend ed a “rattly” and nearly £70,000 “disturbing” door per year on handle that took dairy products means three months to which that we have to repair” charge”. However, according to the library website, “The café arranged for smaller cartons of milk to be sold at cost price to allow students to have milk for their own hot drinks.” The Walton Library also received several complaints. Students reported a “rattly” and “disturbing” door handle that took three months to repair because: “Apparently it is a ‘special’ door, which needs ‘special’ parts which seem to be very rare.” The number of people complimenting the library staff via the website has decreased over the past five years, although many of those posting complaints were keen to stress the good level of service they received. A more positive development for the Robinson Library was the dramatic reduction in complaints about noise, down from 20 in 2012-13 to just six in 2013-14, the lowest level in nine years. This may be due to the introduction of a noise text service, where students can easily report excessive noise to library staff. Temperature complaints have fallen for the third consecutive year, although
“Designate certain existing toilets as gender-neutral”
“Rattly” doorhandle causes particular anger
it remains a major issue. As in previous years, the Robinson Library was too hot during the winter months and too cold over the summer, regularly missing its 20 – 21 degrees target. Users also noticed that the temperature varied greatly from one part of the Library to an“One comment other. Despite the rereads: ‘Please placement of the turn up the and venheating, we are heating tilation system always freezing in the summer of 2012 many liour tits off’” brary users are still unhappy with the temperature and have complained of stuffiness. The problem has been noticed by staff as well: “The air and heat in the library is very poor. The heat is too much. The air is stale and heavy,” said a professor who has used libraries across the world. The member of staff went on to say: “Newcastle University library has the worst air and temperature conditions of any that I have experienced. “We are a Russell Group University and the students deserve a lot better.” Despite one student commenting in January: “It has been scientifically proven that the optimum temperature for work is slightly colder,” another felt that the Library was too cold, “and it is severely affecting our ability to study.” Another comment said: “Please turn up the heating we are always freezing our tits off.” While some students claimed to need scarves in the Library, others felt that sunglasses were also necessary. One particularly anguished student said: “Can you PLEASE dim the lights in the Level 2 Computer Cluster. It is too strong and really hurts our eyes when studying more then 30 mins. My friends have the same problem as well. “The brightness in the Old Library is okay and an acceptable level. The strong lighting especially in the corners of the cluster can distract you a lot and are harmful for your eyes. “I would not like to wear sunglasses in the cluster again.” Two observant students pointed out signs in the library that incorrectly used the word “loan” to mean “borrow” instead of its correct meaning of “lend”. While this may seem insignificant to many students, “the word choice is confusing, and must be especially so for non-native users of English.” One of the signs took several weeks to correct. Most of the comments were suggestions of ways in which the Library could be improved rather than mere com-
plaints. While many of the comments published on the Library website may be amusing, they are a sign of the interest Library staff take in students’ opinions. When in May a user of the Pop-Up Library said: “The pop up library is a dream! I’m never going back to the Robinson with this little baby here! Thank you so much!” Anne Middleton, Head of Customer Services, replied: “We are always happy when we can fulfil a library user’s dream!” The Robinson Library opened in 1982 and was named after local bookseller Philip Robinson seven years later. The Library was extended in 1996 and underwent a major revamp in 2012, although the staff are keen to stress that they are continually responding to customer feedback to further improve the Library.
Continued from front page
gender-neutral toilets or to designate certain existing toilets as genderneutral. This solution would be costeffective because “The more often than prospect the main has received not changes required vocal are to the signage support” and not the setup of the toilets themselves. Once
who continue to face these issues. Allison made it clear in his speech that he does not wish by any means to eliminate all gendered toilets at the university, instead suggesting that small changes be made. It has been understood by both parties that getting rid of all gendered toilets would cause discomfort to a lot of students, regardless of their gender. Rather, the plan is to either create new
Staff receive positive feedback
The Robinson Library, scene of triumph and despair Image: Andrew Curtis
Graph showing number of complaints about libraries over the last six years
in place, students, staff and visitors would be made aware of gender-neutral toilets, and clear signposting would help people to locate them across the campus. The LGBT Society said: “As a society we are very happy about the introduction of a greater number of gender-neutral toilets within the university. The prospect has received vocal support from new members of the society, and we are overwhelmed by the positive attitude of the Student Council.
“This is a valuable step forward for the LGBT+ population of Newcastle University, and we look forward to being involved in creating further progress.” A meeting will take place between the Union’s Welfare & Equality Officer and the University’s Equality and Diversity Team, in order to discuss the plan of action for the new toilets.
6.news
Monday 20 October 2014
The Courier
Agrics cross desert in Suzuki Swift By Kate Dewey       News  Editor
Last summer two Agriculture graduates took on the challenge of the ‘Mongol rally’ in which they drove 10,000 miles across Mongolia in an old rally car in aid of charity. The ‘Mongol rally’ is a driving challenge set by Adventurist with only three rules. Firstly, the car driven must be “small and shitâ€?. Secondly, participants are left completely to their own devices. Finally, at least ÂŁ500 has to be raised and donated to the charity Cool Earth.
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The former Newcastle students, Alec Mitchell and Harry Richardson, donated the full £700 they raised to the Cool Earth charity. The charity works alongside indigenous villages to combat the destruction of rainforests. Cool Earth’s website states that so far they have saved 411,467 acres of land and protected 98,735,013 trees alongside supporting 35,410 people living near the endangered rainforests. Their expedition lasted nine weeks, in that time covering 26 countries and19,800 miles in their vehicle of choice, a £470, 13 year old, one-litre Suzuki Swift. The pair drove through countries such as Iran, Turkmenistan and Uzbekistan, before finally arriving
at the finish line in Ulan Bator, Mongolia. Alec spoke to The Courier about their chosen car: “It’s a beast of car. Never even had any major breakdowns.â€? Harry further commented: “The car is a legend‌ It did 19,800 miles there and back in the end. We did have a few hairy moments in Mongolia, driving through the dust, and at night when the roads are so bad. The border from Turkmenistan to Uzbekistan was probably the worst because they didn’t want to let us in to Uzbekistan but we’d already had an exit stamp on our visa as we left Turkmenistan. We were stuck in no-man’s land until they finally let us in.â€? One of their sponsors, the mobile tracking device company Crystal Ball, supplied Alex and Harry with a tracker system which enabled for their trip to be continuously recorded. The duo spoke appreciatively of Crystal Ball’s support: “It is very difficult to find a tracker capable of working so far from home but the team at Crystall Ball were more than happy to help and provide [sic] excellent support as well as a generous charity donation.â€? Harry and Alec commented about the benefits of the tracking device: “Both of our families were logging in every day to get an update on our progress – even my eighty-year-old grandparents were logging in to see where we were up to. We got loads of text messages congratulating us on our progress, which is a nice interruption when you’re stuck in
a car with the same unwashed bloke for up to twenty four hours a day‌ aside
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from a few messages we received on the Autobahn shortly after setting off. I don’t think my Dad was exactly happy when he texted ‘Slow down – you’re doing over 90!’� The graduates returned home to a champagne reception after covering two continents in their car: “When we left Ulan Bator we completed the 600 mile journey across Russia to Moscow in just six days. It’s fair to say the journey home progressed pretty rapidly. So when we hit France I got a text message from my Mum asking: ‘Do I need to set two more places for tea?’. The champagne reception and a home cooked meal from Mum is what every Adventurist should return home to!� The pair were also sponsored by Paul Drys Motofix, Lee’s Taxis, ABC Plumbing and Ktwo Hire and Sales. Alec and Harry stated: “we would like to thank our sponsors for all their great donations.� Images: Alec Mitchell, Harry Richardson
The Courier
news.7
Monday 20 October 2014
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Study on adolescents with cerebral palsy shows promising signs By Shivangi Kumra
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NUS delegation nominations open By Antonia Velikova News Editor The nominations for Newcastle University delegates to attend the annual NUS conference is now open. Each year, all universities are allocated places, which must be elected by a cross campus ballot. Newcastle has 6 places, with an automatic one allocated for the NUSU President, and nominations are open to all students passionate about fair representation and willing to make a change in that university. The nominations for the Newcastle University elected places are now open and close on Monday 27th October 2014 at 10am. All nominations can be submitted through the NUSU website. There is more to this year’s conference than meets the eye. NUS passed a “Fair
Representation on NUS Conference Delegations� motion on the 2014 Conference. The motion introduces some changes to the policies attaining to the conference. According to it, at least 50% of all delegates from all delegations nation-wide have to consist of self-defining women. It is still up to every SU what election systems, counting procedures, and other rules they intend to use – however, every union needs to register delegation with at least 50% self-defining women to satisfy the criteria of the motion and to be admitted to the NUS conference. Should a union not meet these requirements, the NUS retains its right to refuse credentials to the whole delegation, which would lead to the university not being represented at the 2015 Conference.
Since NUSU has a female president, Newcastle University will have to send two more delegates who self-define as female. Whatever your view on the new rules may be, the NUS conference presents an amazing opportunity to be more involved in student politics, take part in some amazing debate, enforce positive representation and student rights in the University, and gain some fantastic experience. The conference will, as previous years, take place during the Easter holidays. The NUS 2015 Conference is to be held in Liverpool with all expenses paid for by NUSU. If you would like to take part in the nominations and be in the run for the NUS delegation, go to http://nusu. co.uk/vote and take part.
A study conducted by the Institute of Health and Society has revealed that adolescents with cerebral palsy are as happy as their able-bodied peers. The new research was published in the major medical journal The Lancet, and reveals that although adolescents with cerebral palsy face multiple challenges, their quality of life (QoL) is on a par with those without cerebral palsy. Allan Colver, Professor of Community Child Health at Newcastle University and lead author of the study, said: “Our results are encouraging. Across 10 different areas of life, adolescents with cerebral palsy only ranked their quality of friend and peer relationships as on average lower than adolescents in the general population, challenging the widespread perception that adolescents with disabilities have unhappy, unfulfilled lives.â€? Cerebral palsy is a general term for a group of permanent movement problems that cause physical There may ´7KRVH disability. also be problems with ZLWK FHUH sensation, depth percepEUDO SDOV\ tion, communication and difficulty UHSRUWHG ability with cognition and epia better lepsy. It is the most common 4R/Âľ neurodevelopmental physical disability, affecting 1 in every 400 people in the UK. The study is the first to track the QoL of young people with cerebral palsy
from childhood to adolescence. The researchers selected a representative sample of 431 adolescents with cerebral palsy aged 13–17 from nine European regions. The adolescents selfreported their QoL using a questionnaire asking about their QoL in the previous week across 10 areas of life. Their QoL was compared with matched controls in the general population. Results revealed that those with cerebral palsy reported a better QoL in five areas of life than adolescents in the general population: moods and emotions, self-perception, autonomy, relationships with parents, and school life. They only reported a significantly lower QoL in the category of social support available from friends and peers. More severe motor impairment was associated with a poorer QoL in just three categories: moods and emotions, autonomy, and social support from peers. Importantly, the authors highlighted the importance of pain assessment and management during childhood after noting that pain in childhood or adolescence reduced adolescents’ QoL across eight areas of life. Furthermore, experiencing high levels of parenting stress or other psychological problems in childhood resulted in a lower QoL in adolescence. Professor Colver stated: “Attention should... be directed to helping children with cerebral palsy, especially those who are more severely impaired, to maintain friendships with their peers and develop new friendships as they move into adolescence.�
Monday 20 October 2014
8.nationalstudentnews
The Courier
NEWSTACK
Bath Uni pool takes the plunge Job  Title:  Administration  Assistant Employer:  KES  Solutions  UK Closing  Date:  31/10/14 Salary:  £8.25  per  hour   Basic  job  description:  We  are  looking  to  recruit  an  Administrator  to  work  for  a  large  contact  centre  in  Gateshead.  You  will  be  ZRUNLQJ LQ WKH EDFN RIÂż FH RI WKH FDOO FHQWUH dealing  with  customers  through  verbal  and  written  communications.  You  will  deal  with  process  related  activities  to  meet  with  cus- tomer’s  requirements.  You  will  input  activity  from  the  customer’s  account  from  start  to  ¿ QLVK LQWR WKH FRPSDQ\ÂśV V\VWHP <RX ZLOO also  be  required  to  undertake  any  other  general  administration  tasks  as  required. Person  Requirements:  This  role  involves  large  volumes  of  data  entry  and  therefore  accuracy  is  essential.  You  will  work  to  tar- gets.  The  ideal  candidates  will  have  previ- ous  experience  in  a  similar  role. Location:  Gateshead  Job  Title:  Newcastle  Work  Experience  –  Laboratory  Assistant  Employer:  Biotoolomics  Ltd Closing  Date:  26/10/2014 Salary:  Competitive  £700  Bursary    Basic  job  description:  BioToolomics  is  a  small  biotech  company  specialising  in  in- novative  process  chromatography  products  DQG WHFKQRORJ\ IRU FRVW HIIHFWLYH SXULÂż FDWLRQ of  bio-Âpharmaceuticals.  We  are  seeking  a  Laboratory  Assistant  to  support  our  ongo- ing  development  and  production  activities.  Placement  duties  will  include  bead  manipu- lation,  derivation  and  physical  and  biochem- ical  testing. Person  Requirements:  A  student  with  a  bio-Âscience  or  chemistry  background  is  required.  You  must  have  excellent  practical  skills  and  self-Âmotivation. Location:  Newcastle  upon  Tyne   Job  Title:  Bank  Support  Workers Employer:  National  Autistic  Society  Closing  Date:  31/12/2014 Salary:  £7.02  per  hour  Basic  job  description:  Being  a  bank  worker  means  that  you  have  an  agreement  with  The  National  Autistic  Society  to  work  on  a  casual  basis  as  required.  There  are  no  normal  or  guaranteed  hours.  Work  is  offered  on  an  “ad  hocâ€?  basis  and  you  are  free  to  ac- cept  or  decline  any  such  offer.  Work  offered  will  be  on  an  hourly  basis.  Person  Requirements:  Experience  isn’t  HVVHQWLDO EXW \RX PXVW KDYH D Ă€ H[LEOH DW titude,  be  able  to  work  as  part  of  a  team,  have  enthusiasm,  commitment  and  a  desire  to  make  a  difference.  Supporting  young  people  who  have  autism/aspergers  you  will  be  helping  individuals  to  develop  living  skills  and  assist  them  to  engage  in  a  wide  range  of  social  activities  as  well  as  communicating  ZLWK RXWVLGH DJHQFLHV 7KHUHIRUH D Ă€ H[LEOH communication  approach  is  needed.  Driver  Essential  –  You  must  have  a  full  driving  license  and  access  to  your  own  vehicle  -  car  driver  required  to  enable  young  people  to  access  venues  in  Newcastle  and  the  sur- rounding  area  (mileage  paid  as  authorised). Location:  Newcastle  upon  Tyne  Job  Title:  Christmas  Banqueting  Assistants  Employer:  Holiday  Inn Closing  Date:  30/10/2014 Salary:  National  Minimum  Wage  Basic  job  description:  We  are  looking  for  highly  motivated  Christmas  Banqueting  Assistants  to  join  our  team  at  Holiday  Inn  Newcastle-ÂJesmond.  You  will  be  required  to  provide  exceptional  service  to  our  guests  while  they  are  in  our  hotel,  ensuring  all  drinks,  products  and  facilities  are  presented  to  the  highest  possible  standards. Person  Requirements:  The  ideal  candi- date  will  be  enthusiastic  and  professional,  self-Âmotivated,  passionate  &  display  a  professional  and  courteous  attitude  to  our  guests. You  must  have  strong  communication  skills,  be  able  to  work  as  part  of  a  team  and  have  the  ability  to  set  up  a  room  and  stack  neces- sary  equipment  (i.e.  tables  and  chairs). <RX ZLOO DOVR QHHG WR EH Ă€ H[LEOH DV VKLIWV may  include  evenings  and  weekends.  Previ- ous  experience  in  the  hospitality  industry  is  essential. Location:  Jesmond Â
Job  Title:  Newcastle  Work  Experience  –  Biology  Teaching  Research  (Statistics)  Employer:  Newcastle  University  Closing  Date:  26/10/2014 Salary:  £700  Bursary  Basic  job  description:  The  School  of  Biology  offers  four  undergraduate  degree  programmes:  Biology;Íž  Cellular  and  Molecu- lar  Biology;Íž  Ecology  and  Environmental  Biology;Íž  and  Zoology.  Mastering  the  theory  and  practice  of  statistics  is  vital  to  becom- ing  a  successful  biologist.   The  aim  of  the  placement  is  to  produce  engaging  and  interactive  resources  to  aid  in  the  teaching  of  statistics  in  biology.  The  placement  would  suit  someone  thinking  of  going  into  teaching  and  keen  to  gain  experience  of  an  inde- pendent  project. Person  Requirements:  The  candidate  should  have  an  interest  or  background  in  biology  (ideally,  Biology  A-Âlevel).  Students  undertaking  a  degree  programme  involving  a  large  component  of  statistics  are  encour- aged  to  apply. Location:  Newcastle  upon  Tyne  Job  Title:  Customer  Service  Representa- tive  Employer:  Tesco  Bank  Closing  Date:  10/12/2014 Salary:  £16,990  -  £18,377  pro  rata  Basic  job  description:  You  understand  that  customers  stay  with  companies  that  meet  their  needs  –  and  meeting  those  needs  comes  naturally  to  you.  It’s  all  about  treating  people  how  we’d  like  to  be  treated  and  making  sure  that  we  are  here  for  our  FXVWRPHUV 'HOLYHULQJ D Âż UVW FODVV FXVWRPHU experience,  you’ll  identify  the  right  prod- ucts  and  solutions  to  match  our  customer’s  requirements  on  inbound  sales  and  service  calls. Person  Requirements:  You’ll  bring  strong  customer  service  experience  –  preferably  from  a  sales  contact  centre  background.  With  excellent  communication  skills  and  proven  customer  service  experience. Location:  Newcastle  upon  Tyne  Job  Title:  Newcastle  Work  Experience  –  Commercial  Portfolio  Analyst   Employer:  Green  Energy  Consulting  Closing  Date:  26/12/2014 Salary:  £700  Bursary  Basic  job  description:  The  Placement  is  designed  to  offer  proactive  and  environ- mentally  conscious  students  the  opportunity  to  practice  their  degree  based  skills,  whilst  gaining  valuable  experience  in  consultancy  and  the  energy  sector.  We  are  looking  for  enthusiastic  students  who  want  to  work  within  the  Energy  industry  or  want  to  hone  their  degree  based  skills  in  a  growing  and  vibrant  local  company. Person  Requirements:  We  are  offering  two  student  placements  and  seeking  individu- DOV IURP D PDWKHPDWLFDO EXVLQHVV Âż QDQFH and  environmental  sciences  backgrounds  who  have  a  passion  for  business  and  the  environment. Location:  Newcastle  upon  Tyne  Job  Title:  Data  Input  and  Scanning  Clerk Employer:  Clarity  Informatics  Closing  Date:  01/11/2014 Salary:  £7.30  per  hour  Basic  job  description:  Data  input  and  VFDQQLQJ FOHUNV WR ZRUN Ă€ H[LEOH KRXUV WR VXLW their  student  timetable. Person  Requirements:  Attention  to  detail  and  conscientious.  Location:  Newcastle  upon  Tyne Â
The University of Bath is widely known for having one of the best sports facilities in the country, but one of the most popular amongst students, the 50m swimming pool, will now be closed until spring 2015. The refurbishments were supposed to start over the summer, but the work was delayed and the pool finally shut on 19 September. It happened a day before freshers started arriving in Bath, so it caused a common dissatisfaction amongst the students who use the pool for recreation. However, many of the University’s sports clubs also use the pool and will be most affected by the closure. The Students’ Union said: “We are aware that the refurbishment will cause inconvenience, but we have been given good reason why the work cannot be postponed.� They will also be providing student clubs with access to alternative facilities and discounted Sport Passes where necessary.
Glasgow divests from fossil fuels The University of Glasgow has recently become the first university in Europe to divest from the fossil fuel industry. The University’s leaders announced a withdrawal of ÂŁ18 million in investments over the next decade. There will be a 12-month campaign held involving over 1,300 students with events being led by the Glasgow University Climate Action Society. The University will also freeze new hydrocarbon investments which make up around four per cent of its total endowment of ÂŁ128 million. David Newall, secretary of The University of Glasgow’s governing court, said: “The University recognizes the devastating impact that climate change may have on our planet and the need for the world to reduce its dependence on fossil fuels.â€? Over the upcoming years they plan to steadily reduce their investment in the fossil fuel extraction industry while also reducing the carbon consumption.
Sexism dished out at Leeds’ Varsity Two female University of Leeds students experienced sexist abuse at the Varsity grand final last Wednesday evening. According to a witness, the incident occurred during the Varsity showpiece event match between the rugby players and her female friends when the latter were looking for their seats in the stand. When they passed a “crowded stand of second year players� which were “recognizable by their blue shirts and chinos�, the guys started throwing beer cups at them and shouting: “No girls allowed!� The witness said that her two friends were hurt and covered in beer. The victims informed the University’s Vice Chancellor, Sir Alan Langlands, and he quickly responded saying that it is absolutely unacceptable and contradicts the University’s values of equality and inclusion.
Manc millionaire donates to dogs Millionaire LSE (London School of Economics) student Daria Radionova is selling her hand encrusted diamond Mercedes to donate 10 percent of the money raised to Manchester’s dog shelter. Manchester’s Dogs’ Home was devastated by a fire this year, more than 60 animals were killed and around 150 were left homeless. Daria Radionova is now set to sell her Swarovski crystal-encrusted car in order to raise money for the shelter. While expressing her sympathy and stating that she cannot stay away from the situation, the student initially said that half of the proceeds from the sale of the car were to be sent to the Dog’s Shelter. However, she has recently downgraded this figure to 10 per cent. The estimated donation from Daria will be around ÂŁ15,000. When asked about the possible donation, a staff member from the Manchester Dogs’ Home said: “It sounds tacky to me, but money’s money.â€? Images: Diliff, Arpingstone, Stefan Baguette
Kotryna Kairyte
The Courier
.9
Monday 20 October 2014
Comment Â
thecourieronline.co.uk/comment
         Comment  Editors:   Victoria  Armstrong  &  Matt  Corden  Online  Comment  Editor:  Ruth   Davis courier.comment@ncl.ac.uk  |  @Courier_Comment Â
UKIP: extremists or realists? $V %ULWDLQ HOHFWV LWV Âż UVW 8.,3 03 George  Lamb  &  Grace  Brown  consider  whether  British  politics  is  changing  direction  and  wading  into  extremism Is it extreme for a nation to have an autonomous, global trade policy whilst enjoying the fiscal and diplomatic freedoms that come from leaving a dwindling political union? Is it extreme for a nation to become sovereign once more, possessing the ability to set her own laws and regulations? Let me be unequivocal, UKIP are not an extremist party. Yes, there have been many cases of UKIP members demonstrating incredibly bigoted, prejudicial points of view, but to label the entire party as “extremistâ€? is both disingenuous and futile; for proof of this just note the almost exponential rise of UKIP since David Cameron labeled them as being full of “clowns and closet racistsâ€?. UKIP’s ascent has not been born out of a shift in public opinion towards the more “extremeâ€? fringes of the political spectrum but, rather, a failure in the current Labour/Conservative duopoly to appeal to otherwise disenfranchised, apathetic voters; a 36% turnout in the recent Clacton by-election should tell you all you need to know about the public’s current indifference with politics. The truth is that both the Conservatives and Labour are failing to successfully engage the electorate, with the former presiding over an economic recovery fuelled by real-wage cuts and job insecurity and the latter seemingly incompetent in offering a credible, coherent alternative to austerity. UKIP are simply pouncing on this joint failure.
NO
George Lamb
I simply refute the notion that UKIP represent the “extreme edge� of politics. Conflating the contrarian rhetoric used by UKIP and the often racist, inflammatory bile used by extreme groups such as the BNP, EDL and Britain First is not just lazy and wrong but could lead to the delegitimisation of a perfectly acceptable position. When you compare UKIP to several parties they have explicitly refused to be sat near in the EU such as France’s far-right Front National, Greece’s neo-fascist Golden Dawn or the anti-semitic Hungarian Jobbik party it is obvious that UKIP merely represent a legitimate alternative to the Westminster clique. Are you really comparing these aforementioned parties to UKIP? We are in agreement regarding an element of xenophobia prevalent within UKIP but you are wrong to state they have a “send-them-home ideology�. UKIP want a level playing field between EU and non-EU immigration, akin to the points-based system used in Australia; this way doctors from India have the same chance and right to obtain work in the UK as doctors from France or Spain. Is this not a fairer system than the one in place at present? Whilst UKIP are yet to publish their General Election manifesto, they have voiced opinions regarding foreign aid, taxation, public finances, green levies and the state of the NHS – to name a few. With regards to the TV debates, many commentators on both the left and the right are in agreement that the Greens should take part in them; especially given the feeble performances of the Lib Dems in recent by-elections. UKIP are simply a much bigger party than the Greens, gaining five times as many council seats in 2013, winning the European elections this year and polling nationally at around 20%. In short, the broadcasters are right to include a party that is helping to reinvigorate and stimulate political debate among the masses. UKIP represent a type of politics vastly different from that characterised by the out-of-touch, nuance quarreling Westminster parties.
NO
Illustration by Jack Goodall
“The truth is that both the Conservatives & Labour are failing to successfully engage the electorate�
YES
Whilst UKIP may not be extremist in the very definition of the word, what they represent is the extreme edge of politics; a politics for the very rich at the expense of the very poor. What UKIP are capitalising and expanding upon on is a xenophobic fear of ‘Other’, their send-them-home ideology and lack of any other real range of substantive policies could surely be the start of a slippery slope to a far more dire situation if they gain any real power in the next election. Similarly, it’s unequivical that the UK are succumbing to them. After gaining their first MP last week, Farage is now being allowed to appear on the live TV leader debates in the run up to next years general election whilst the Green Party (who have had an MP since 2012, are currently polling neck and neck with the Liberal Democrats as well as gaining 150,000 more votes than them in the European elections earlier this year) have been excluded. The reasons for this are unknown, but it clearly shows a mass media cowing to populist, and frankly dangerous, party capitalising on voters fears and helping legitimise them in the process.
Grace Brown
YES
It is not only wrong to describe UKIP as a ‘legitimate alternative to the Westminster clique’ but almost laughable. UKIP are a visceral symbol of every Westminster negative that has disillusioned swathes of the population. Nigel Farage was educated at an Eton Group school, and as well as being yet another party of middle aged, middle class, white men they are also funded by the same millionaires who have donated to the Conservative party for decades. If they were a legitimate alternative, why are so many Tory MP’s defecting to join their ranks? The fact that UKIP’s immigration policies can be compared to that of Australia’s is surely not something to be proud of: just this week the Australian government launched a campaign to deter refugees of war, terror and torture called “You Will Not Make Australia Home.� If this is something you want Britain to take example from, the Britain you and I want to live in are entirely separate places. UKIP signify a sharp step to the right in British politics that has been met by a scramble from the Conservatives to catch up; the same party that have already caused starvation and suicide due to welfare cuts - something which is arguably politics at its extreme. Even Nick Griffin, the leader of the BNP, after defeat at the European elections, blamed UKIP and the people “who voted for their racist policies instead.� Surely such endorsement highlights that whilst on the face of it, UKIP may not be as vile as some of the more fascist parties of the European Union, they are undoubtedly spouting the same messages of fear and hate.
Lies, damned lies and statistics: Uni rankings League  tables  are  meant  to  be  the  kitemark  of  quality  as  far  as  uni  is  concerned,  but  really  they’re  misleading  and  reductive
Joe Tetlow
N
ewcastle University, 22nd in the latest Sunday Times University guide, is down 4 places since last year. But what does the rank represent and who should really care? Arbitrary fluctuations occur yearly despite perceptible and relative stasis amongst the top universities. Like the charade of a fraudulent wine connoisseur perusing the aisle, the misguided charlatans glance over the makers of a few Cote du Rhones, before eventually settling on the Chateauneuf du Pape. Of course Oxbridge should rightly dominate proceedings, but it is the vagary
beneath which makes the stomach churn. As with every trip, a white wine spritzer somehow finds its way into the basket amongst more esteemed company. Perhaps Lancaster are on the cusp of revolutionising yoghurt. Perhaps Surrey have audaciously kidnapped Hawking and are holding him hostage in their Physics department, I’m not quite sure. But somehow, be it yoghurt or Hawking, they’ve mysteriously appeared joint 12th. Yes Loughborough are good at sport and East Anglia good at being in Norwich, but surely not 14 places better than the omnibenevolent Manchester, who rank 30th in the world according to QS. The rankings (in this fictional sports-like league) aren’t course specific. You’re comparing the Yankees with Yeovil Town, none of which makes any
sense. Whilst the Newcastle medical school places 8th in the latest QS survey, the institution as a whole does far worse. The most mind-numbingly dense aspect in all of this is the quality of the information. Who are they polling anyway? Martin may have loved the caravan park on the Bognor Regis ring road and given it 5 stars on TripAdvisor, but Martin is a nonse. You can’t compare student satisfaction realistically with Newcastle 13th behind Northampton and Coventry, never mind Keele University (whose biggest asset is certainly a Burger King in their M6 service station). The problem is that very rarely do the polled people know better. The categories, particularly in the Sunday Times, focus on the measurable, which is a good start. But you wouldn’t go and describe Newcastle in conversation using numbers. Perhaps thats why univer-
sity choice shouldn’t be made on negligible percentile victories over student staff ratio (Newcastle is ranked 31st). The overarching table, the numbers and statistics, feed paranoia and delude cretins like me into considering places such as Warwick; the James Milner of all universities. Their course completion rate of 95.7% must, for example, be a lie. The big issue is not for existent students but for the prospective. For confused A-Level pupils, these university guides are bibles; spouting wise parables, to be followed religiously and talked about, until they reach the promised land - where they eventually become atheist. The university guides are incoherent and confused drunks, urinating concoctions of spritzer and fine wine all over unassuming 17 year olds and getting away with it too.
10.comment
SOAP BOX
Monday 20 October 2014
The Courier
Alfred Nobel to Malala Yousafzai Following Malala Yousafzai’s winning of the Nobel Peace Prize, Matt Corden discusses KHU FRQWLQXLQJ VLJQL¿ FDQFH LQ WKH VWUXJJOH IRU LQWHUQDWLRQDO MXVWLFH DQG ZRPHQ¶V ULJKWV
THE METRO I’ve used the metro nearly all my life, and I’ve had little issue with it. Except, now that I’ve moved into Jesmond, I have realised that West Jesmond Metro station is a hugely irritating place to commute from, through and to. Obviously, the students of West Jesmond need a Metro service - we’re too lazy to walk - plus the Metro is warm, but did Nexus think that four ticket machines on platform one was enough? Those who haven’t bothered with a Metro pass often queue up to use said machines, resulting in colossal queues, especially at peak times. Obviously, I have a 28-day zone A Metro pass, but any food shop often leads to me needing to venture into the outback that is zone B. And I need to get my shopping quickly; I have other urgent things to do... like go to university. In this mad rush, a desperate mad dash to get a zone A+B ticket becomes utterly harrowing. Please, Nexus, put in a few more ticket machines, you’ll make the rush that is commuting around Tyne and Wear a bit less stressful and frustrating for us students. Jack Parker
STUDIOUS FRESHERS First year students in the library: a notorious topic, known to unite older students throughout the academic year. From the alcoholsoaked start of the year through to the breakdown-inducing exam periods, criticism rains in at the sight of freshers in the library, as they ‘take up spaces’ when ‘their year doesn’t even really count..’ Stop this. Now. First years pay the same fees and have the exact same entitlement to use the campus libraries as any other year. If they want to get to the library early to work, meaning your lazy ass doesn’t get a seat, then you’re the only one to blame. Really though, we all know the problem with this is personal. God knows, I wish I had the work ethic to be in the library as the sun rises, working on the dissertation that my tutor has ambitiously requested for early December. But I don’t. And if I’d had that work ethic in first year... well, I can’t even imagine. Point of the story being: first years, please ignore anyone saying ‘you shouldn’t be in the library’. We’re just over-worked and sour. Victoria Armstrong
FAKE TEXTING Being able to call or text anyone, anywhere, at any place and at any time was the major appeal of the trusty mobile phone when it first hit the mass market. But in recent years, I can’t help but notice a terrible secondary purpose: to avoid social awkwardness by pretending to text. I wouldn’t believe anyone our age protesting their innocence with this. Waiting at the metro station, you can find a huge array of students on their own who are staring down at their android desperately trying to avoid the dreaded eye contact with another human being. The people who find themselves alone outside the lecture theatre waiting to be allowed in suddenly have the urge to whack out their phone to check Facebook. It’s amazing how noticeably less people do check their phones when they’re in a group of people they’re comfortable with. Although I do it a lot less now I’m older, I still notice myself fake texting when I’m alone in public, even after writing this smug piece about how tragic it is. How pathetic are we? Matt Corden
Image: Southbank Centre@ Flickr
S
Matt Corden
eventeen year-old Malala Yousafzai joked last week that winning the Nobel Peace Prize wasn’t going to help her with exams, and upon hearing the good news, she chose to finish her Chemistry class before celebrations began. For such a reaction to come from someone who has risked her life for the cause of girl’s education, the humble yet powerful character of Malala must surely rank as one of the most deserving laureates in the prize’s history.
“In 2014, the influence and recognition of the Nobel Peace Prize has been awarded to a true figurehead for peace” In the past, the award has disgraced itself with some unsavoury characters. Amongst those chosen have included Henry Kissinger for (not, actually) bringing the Vietnam War to an end after he and Nixon deliberately collapsed the Paris peace talks.
Eve Kershaw
Later on, Israeli Prime Ministers Menachem Begin and Shimon Peres had a turn despite their involvement in the destruction of Southern Lebanon. PLO chairman Yasser Arafat and former US President Jimmy Carter – who both prided themselves on their alliance with Saddam Hussein – was another bizarre episode. The highly over-rated Mother Teresa, while collecting her prize in 1979, had the audacity to claim that abortion and contraction was the greatest threat to world peace. Even Vladimir Putin was put up for nomination last year, which I can only imagine was some sort of cruel joke. The amount of political and social influence that can be exerted through this Norwegian award scheme makes it all the more important that fuck faces like Kissinger or Putin don’t get a look-in. Thankfully in 2014, the influence and recognition of the Nobel Peace Prize has been awarded to a true figurehead for peace. Since Islamic fundamentalism has actively declared war on the education of women, Malala Yousafzai – neither intentionally nor with hubris – has become a central figure in the counter-struggle for the empowerment of women through schooling. Since being shot by the Taliban in 2012 for her education campaigns with the BBC, she has continued her work defiantly despite almost losing her own life on the proposition. Her blogs have highlighted the Taliban’s increasing influence within her hometown of Swat, Pakistan
and their deliberate destruction of school buildings. As she once said herself, the power of the educated woman terrifies them. Since Iraq and Syria have descended into chaos with a similar brand of reactionary theocracy, the global war against it has received some meaningful encouragement with Malala’s awards. While it may seem odd phrasing a recognition for peace in terms of war, her struggle highlights the ongo-
“Mother Teresa was highly over-rated” ing state of global affairs: that the moderates and the fundamentalists within the Muslim world are fighting a continuing battle. Malala herself is a practising Muslim who sees no contradiction between her religion and her activism. In reality, there are thousands, if not millions of radical and liberal Muslims like her in the region, almost certainly making up the majority. Taking their side in their confrontation against those who wish to expand fundamentalist Islam through conquest and Jihad is imperative if any sort of global peace is to be upheld for the future. The empowerment of women is an indispensable framework on which to build upon this common goal.
Mo’ students, mo’ problems
The Courier
comment.11
Monday 20 October 2014
Party conferences’ election infection
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The
Voice of
Wisdom
W
ell this has been an interesting week politically to say the least. Malala and the Nobel peace prize, ongoing developments with IS, the new UKIP MP, Douglas Carswell: the list goes on. Alas, it is a shame that most students aren’t more politically invested. How hard is it to scroll through some news sites during a lecture you are only going to watch on ReCap during the early hours of whenever, anyway. Flick on BBC news whilst blazed, you might learn something. Hell, you should probably turn away from Tumblr now you’re in your early twenties anyway.
“You never want to be one of those tossers who engages the common man on tax reform�
Thomas Montague
T
he Party Political Conference season ended earlier this October with just seven months left until the General Election. They presented an opportunity for voters to take a closer look at the party leaders. The month kicked off with the Green Party conference. After having recently polling higher than the Lib Dems, they could play a major role come May. Party Leader Natalie Bennett gave an impressive performance as she positioned the Greens as “the real choice,� a thinly veiled attack on Labour. In what may prove to win votes among students, she promised to scrap tuition fees, claiming that “education is a public good�. Next came Labour leader Ed Miliband, who took the risky decision of speaking notes-free. His risk didn’t pay off since he forgot to mention the deficit, a key issue for the next election. This led to him being criticised by his own MP’s, chiefly
Shadow Chancellor Ed Balls. He did promise to give the vote to 16 and 17 year olds and also to pay companies to take on apprentices, all the while repeating his new slogan: “Together We Can.� It made him sound more like a Left-wing Bob the Builder than a Prime Minister-elect. The UKIP Conference seemed to be set up to be inflammatory, rather than to offer any actual policies. This came to light through the decision for it to take place in Ed Miliband’s constituency of Doncaster, as well as the fact that former Tory backbencher Douglas Carswell - a recent defector from the Conservatives - was one of the main speakers, despite only being in the party for a week. Commentators have described the Conservative Conference as a return of the “nasty party.� They’ve promised to protect our rights, chiefly by scrapping the Human Rights Act and removing us from the European Court of Human Rights - obviously. Their other promises included a welfare cap and tax cuts on the rich, to make a recovery for the many. Home Secretary Theresa May demonstrated
how fragmented the coalition is by accusing the Lib Dems of “putting children at risk,� by refusing to back the invasive ‘Snoopers Charter’. That happy, smiling moment in the Rose Garden must seem like so long ago. Finally onto the Liberal Democrat Conference, and as if we needed any more evidence, party leader Nick Clegg signalled that relations with their coalition partners had reached “a low point� as he called on his party to “brutalise the Tories�. He personally attacked Tory policy; describing promised tax cuts as a “moon-on-a-stick promise,� before demanding an apology from Theresa May. All this was somewhat bullish behaviour from the leader of a party polling just 6%, yet as senior figures were quick to point out, “we’ve been at 0,� making the whole conference seem almost like a Monty Python sketch. With the party conference season now over, we have 7 months to decide who to vote for in the election. The leader’s speeches may have provided some idea, but anything could happen in the political world between now and next May.
NHS strikes symptomatic of a more widespread problem 7KH Âż UVW SD\ UHODWHG VWULNH LQ \HDUV VKRZV WKDW WKH XQGHUIXQGHG VHUYLFH LV EHLQJ WDNHQ IRU JUDQWHG E\ WKH &RDOLWLRQ ZKLFK FDQQRW EH DOORZHG WR FRQWLQXH
Jake Harrison
T
he NHS has been a constant source of debate over the course of the Coalition’s time in power and looks to continue that way as we head into the next election. Just about no one in the NHS agrees with the policies enacted by Jeremy Hunt, with the British Medical Association even going as far as to pass a vote of no confidence in him. More recently members of multiple unions including UNISON and Unite called for strike action over NHS pay; the real value of NHS wages has been falling over the past 5 years and 60% of NHS will not get any pay rise at all this year. According to the UNISON wage calculator, an NHS worker at the top of the first band pay grade has lost £1,387 from below-inflation pay rises in the last 4 years and will lose another £347 this year. Although I agree that money shouldn’t be the
motivation behind working in the NHS, I don’t think anyone could claim that the strikes are motivated by greed, especially given that NHS staff haven’t been on strike for the past 30 years. I don’t really think it’s too much to ask that given the incredible work midwives, nurses and all the auxil-
“The NHS is the pride of Britain for a good reason - it provides an incredible level of care� iary staff do they get paid a decent wage. Certainly it ought not to be the case that a third of staff don’t get paid enough to live on. The NHS is the pride of Britain for a good reason - it provides an incredible level of care, free at the point of entry. Let’s not tarnish its reputation by not paying the workers who make it what it is an acceptable wage. Unfortunately the fall in wages is simply a symp-
tom of the wider problem of the chronic lack of funding enforced on the NHS over the past few years. Falling pay is only half of the problem, the other half being a shortage of staff. A job like nursing is stressful enough as it is without a time constraint. The latest Care Quality Commission confirmed this, and evidence suggests that mortality in wards is significantly higher if the ratio of Nurses to Patients is more than 1:8. This is currently the case in as many as 40% of hospital wards in the UK. And as if that’s not evidence enough for the lack of care paid to the NHS the number of patients whose care has been delayed passed 3 million for the first time since 2008 over the summer. Given that the NHS is only going to come under more strain in the coming years, due to our ageing population and the seemingly irresistible increase in obesity rates. If we have an NHS which is horrendously understaffed, and with the few staff remaining being underpaid and demoralised it simply won’t be able to cope. The potential problems caused by that makes the reasonable wage demands and strikes seem like a comparatively small problem.
Saying that, I personally try to rise above politics. I mean, as a philosopher, it’s a bit unbecoming to bog down in the petty antics of the proletariat (we’ve been doing some great stuff on Marx this week!). You never want to be one of those tossers in the smoking area, absolutely rat-faced, attempting to engage your common man in the nuances of the tax reform. They may be nodding as if they get you, but really they’re lost in their own world, which - thank the Lord - I have little place in. To rise above though, one must recognise that we are all just little genetic-cock-ups in such a fucking huge universe so how can the House of Commons make any difference? We just need to chill out and look for those greater truths. As long as we’re promoting happiness and peace, it’ll all be fine. Father of course could not disagree more. He’s been a proud member of the Conservative Party since he was in short breeches. He is always rabbiting on about “the fruitless antics of Labour� and the personality-free-zone that is ‘Ed’ Miliband; trying to appeal to the middle class. ‘Ed’ instead of ‘Edward’, right? How relatable; how predictable. But anyway, I digress.
“Why bother with all those mundane things you can pay someone else to do?� These are all very valid points, but that’s totally not the point, you know? Okay so yeah, the Tories are the best party, and yeah, they really should win the next election, but what about social re-imagination? The greatest happiness for the greatest number? Or all the other theories that Father calls “theoretical twiddle�. Personally, I think his struggles with my exponentially increasing intelligence are LOL-worthy, but whatever. So what if I can’t cook or balance company accounts like he can? Life is about thriving, not just surviving. Why bother with all those mundane things that you can pay someone else to do? I mean, I’d be totally lost without the electrician - the lightbulb-changing man. How else can you feel so totally alive unless you engage in the totally useless. I mean, for instance, whales. Most of us won’t ever see one or have any practical interaction with them, but they’re still fucking fabulous. People like Father don’t appreciate whales. Shit, I think I smoked one too many and am talking crap. Just remember - politics doesn’t matter,just love those around you, whales are fucking awesome, and vote Tory. But also, you should probably start reading more about politics. Now where the fuck did I put that Domino’s discount? Hugo Hungry. Peace out fam’.
Hugo
As told to Victoria Armstrong Illustration by Lewis Bedford
12.lifestyle
Monday 20 October 2014
The Courier
Lifestyle Editors: Jack Dempsey, Annie Lord, Holly Suttle & Tom Tibble
George Smith Growing out my mutton chops
T
his week I’ll be issuing a guide on rescuing the sinking wreck of your manhood for the flannel wearing, Bridesmaids-watching, salad eating 21st century man. The 21st century man is no stranger to the kitchen. A land of excitement and danger, stalked by roaming knives and sealed by fire, it offers opportunities to prove yourself worthy of one of the Penis-shaped badges of masculinity I’m sewing as we speak. As far as the fairer sex is concerned, a man who cooks is something of a sweaty, greasy aphrodisiac, and I should know something of women - I’ve had sex with one. Romance starts in the kitchen and ends in a wild night of role-reversal where she provides some surprisingly comfortable sex-aids for you to experiment with. We will begin with the selection of the meal. If you think you have a choice, you don’t. It’s steak, or the vegetarian equivalent… what would that be? Tofu? Get a tofu steak. Any good steak needs to be tenderized. I’ve seen a lot of pansies tenderising with a mallet, but you don’t want to do that. Instead, beat it with your fists, just keep hitting it until tears start rising in your eyes. Pretend it’s those leering, laughing faces of the boys at school who wouldn’t let you forget that one time you got an erection in the communal showers.
How to make your flatmates think you’re cooler than you actually are S
ick of getting ready to find that your flatmates have already gone out without you? Ever wondered why they always go out for tea on your busiest days, or why they had the flat party during your weekend trip home? Maybe you didn’t make as good an impression on them as you’d hoped to. Well, it isn’t too late to change that. I’m here to tell you how to reassert your coolness with a few simple tips. If you’re ever hungry, don’t hesitate to eat your flatmate’s food. They’re likely to perceive this as playful banter, and it’ll create a more bonded feeling between the two of you. Things like bread, cereal and cheese can never really belong to just one person anyway, so don’t be afraid to nibble their block whenever you get the chance. Once you’re done eating their food, never wash up after yourself. This one’s important. After stacking up a formidable pile of a crusty crockery on your kitchen table, your flatmates will grow to respect you and begin washing them themselves.
“A real man doesn’t have time to count calories, he’s too busy counting the bears he’s skinned or the number of times he’s watched Fight Club’’
When all is eaten and you sit amongst a devastation of pans and plates, undo the top three buttons of your flies, recline in your chair and pick your teeth with an animal bone you found in the bin outside (or the vegetarian equivalent). Wait for kinky-fuckery to commence.
“Make sure they see as many partners leaving your room as possible”
Leave as many empty alcohol bottles lying around as possible. Beer, wine, spirits, whatever you can get your hands on. The wider the variety, the more of an absolute monster you will ultimately look like. Just make sure you never drink in front of them - in fact, it’s better if you don’t drink at all - because then they’ll assume you’re some sort of social virtuoso who is too hardcore for hangovers and goes like a pneumatic drill. Which brings me to the clincher: make sure they see as many partners leaving your room as possi-
ble, even if you aren’t having sex with them. This means all study groups should now be hosted in your bedroom, so when your study buddies leave, having issued to you their theories on existential motifs, your flatmates will think they’ve just issued to you a top shagging. Finally, play your music as loud as possible. Pick something as obscure as you can find, preferably an unknown, unsigned indie band from the nether regions of the NME, so they can have no notions about it not being cool. The best time to do this is the early hours of the morning, because this is when it is quietest so they’ll be able to hear it better. Try propping your door open a bit, to let the sound travel further. They’ll probably start copying you at some point, but as long as you did it first they’ve got nothing on you. If you do all of these things, I can guarantee it’ll leave you in such a glowing state of cool you won’t even need friends anymore. Jack Dempsey
Ask Rainbow & Knobhead Auntie Rainbow & Uncle Knobhead impart their wisdom to solve your woes
“I should know something of women I’ve had sex with one’’
Next, it’s time to grease up the pan. Get a block of butter, stand three-four metres away and just throw it in. Remember you must take every opportunity to prove how good at sports you are. If you think that an entire block of butter is too much, don’t. A real man doesn’t have time to count calories, he’s too busy counting the bears he’s skinned or the number of times he’s watched Fight Club. Slap the steak in and allow to fry for ten to fifteen seconds, just enough time for it not to cook at all and leave it on the side, ready to serve. Many people will tell you that the most romantic beverage for a good meal is wine, but these people clearly know nothing of wooing the ladies. What you need is scotch, but not the good stuff. I personally recommend you pop down to Londis and get their own brand. I drink it instead of water. It says “I can literally put anything into my body without gagging (winky face)”. You must then proceed to drink the entire bottle without offering her any whatsoever. Bring her some tap water. This is your way of showing her firstly that you can drink that much and secondly that you are capable of defending her from all the poisons in her immediate environment. Really, you’re a hero; women love that evolutionary psychology shit.
“That’s just Jack, he’s way too much of a free spirit to wash his own pots,” they’ll say. Eventually, they might even start to eat directly off your used dishes, in the hope of digesting your morsels of cool.
Conundrum #1 Conundrum #2 Conundrum #3
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y mate leaves the kitchen a mess. We keep getting fined and he refuses to cooperate in preventing this from happening again. I do not want to throw money down the sink, nor his festering utensil juices. What do I do? Auntie Rainbow: Call a flat meeting! You shouldn’t let your mate’s dirty behaviour disrupt your living space – or your bank. Talk to him about it, and explain how you feel about it, and how much easier it would be for all of you lived hygienically! Perhaps you should figure out some sort of system of keeping the flat clean that everyone can agree to. Label plates, schedule days for people to do the washing up, get a system going. Otherwise, if things don’t improve, warn your mate and consider talking to your residential officer about it, then the bills can get posted to him.
“The guy is evidently a dick’’ Uncle Knobhead: The question that springs to mind is, why the hell are you living with this? If you’re a fresher then that’s fair do’s, you didn’t get a choice in the matter; you should report him as the culprit and avoid taking any flak. He might be a bit arsey with you, but it’s better than paying fines for him. And why should you care anyway? The guy is evidently a dick. If you chose to live with him however, more fool you.
S
o all my flatmates are trying to set me up on nights out with any member of the opposite sex possible. The problem is, I’m gay and haven’t told them yet. It’s getting to the point where they’re getting suspicious. I’m not sure if I’m ready to tell them yet – I think one of them is a homophobe. What should I do? Auntie Rainbow: It’s very important to be yourself, and not do anything you don’t want to. Don’t give in to peer pressure! Do you have one friend in your flat of who you are particularly close to? It might be a good idea to confide in them. Never feel that you need to disclose your sexuality to anyone. If you’re really not ready to tell them, then don’t. Just say that pulling strangers on nights out is not your thing. Most people at University grow out of the narrow-mindedness of stereotyping people against their sexualities. Newcastle University is especially accepting of all different walks of life. If one of your flatmates is a homophobe, then they will have to accept your sexuality, or else he/she will run the risk of looking very immature. Homophobic behaviour sometimes stems from self-instability or that person’s own insecurities – it’ll be nothing on you. My opinion? Get it out in the open. It’s more than okay to be gay. Uncle Knobhead: This is a genuine problem, and as such one is probably not one for Uncle Knobhead.
A
ll my friends like deep house and are all going to see this DJ I’ve never heard of. I don’t think I’ll like it if I go, but I don’t want to miss out! Auntie Rainbow: If you really don’t think you will like it, do not feel you have to go! There’ll be plenty of other opportunities to spend time with your friends. Maybe you should organise another time when you can all hang out together, so your friends know you still want to stick with them. On the other hand, you might find that you’re enjoying yourself. Your music taste could experience a moment of enlight-
“Do what everyone else does: stick your hands in your pockets, nod along, and make sure not to smile’’
enment. Uncle Knobhead: Jesus, really? It’s just one night out. If you really think it’ll kill you, don’t bother. But if you’re that socially insecure then go with them. Do whatever everyone else does: stick your hands inside your pockets, nod along, and make sure not to smile.
The Courier
.13
Monday 20 October 2014
Culture thecourieronline.co.uk/culture
Culture Editor: Kate Bennett Sections: Lifestyle, Fashion, Beauty, Arts, Music, Film, TV, Gaming and Science courier.culture@ncl.ac.uk | @CourierOnline
Blind Date
Hannah on Jonty
So you met up at Fat Buddha, how was that arranged? Well classic control freak me decided to ask for his number beforehand because I wasn’t going to have any confusion.
Jonty Mawer, 2nd Year Ancient History Hannah Redman, 3rd Year English Lit
Jonty on Hannah
Did the arrangements go smoothly? My phone ran out of battery during the day and I didn’t get back to my house until about half an hour before, but yeah despite that it went fine, got to Fat Buddha on time.
What were your first impressions? First impressions were good - this is cringe - first impressions were really good, and he sort of ticked every meeting/date protocol, I guess. Held the door, it was nice. Ticked all of the boxes.
Was she on time and everything? Yeah, I think I was a little bit early. What were your first impressions, physically and once you introduced yourselves? She was nice, well spoken, pretty, intelligent, yeah all good stuff.
What did you make of his clothes? All good. All date-worthy. I think he regretted the coat and he definitely said that upon entering The Cut. That was noticeably out of place. But then so was mine, I was dressed for the North Pole. And with no cloak room that was a bit of a nightmare.
What did you make of what she was wearing? She looked really nice, she wore a black top, skirt on, Parka jacket, she looked really nice.
Did anything strike you as bizarre about Jonty? He told me about his love for a Cambodian woman in a field which was slightly bizarre and slightly unusual, in a good way though.
Did she smell good? Did you get a good sniff ? She didn’t smell bad at all. I assume you were pretty pissed by the end then? Yeah we had a couple of drinks in each place so we were fucked.
Who seemed the keenest of you both? That’s likely to be me because when I’m in these scenarios I tend to just talk and it can come across as a bit - as friend called me recently - full on.
Did anything strike you as unusual? No, not particularly, nice regular person.
“He told me about his love for a Cambodian woman in a field”
Who seemed the keenest of the two of you? Probably me, I imagine.
“She could have laughed more at my jokes”
How could Jonty have performed better on your date? [A long pause] Make me laugh more? I’m really silly and stupid and have quite an immature sense of humour. I didn’t laugh as much as I could have.
How do you think Hannah could have improved her performance on the date? [A long pause] She could have laughed a bit more at my jokes.
If you could, how would you have improved your performance on the date? I probably say the word ‘like’ too much and the word ‘dire’ - quite a lot of negative use of ‘dire’.
How do you think you performed over the course of the date? I probably could have been funnier. I don’t know really, not entirely sure, there definitely probably are ways. More confidence, perhaps?
What places did you go to? What was the course of the evening? He instigated a bar crawl which would be the first I’ve actually done in Newcastle, so that was a first. We went from the Fat Buddha to Tokyo to Bijoux (where we bumped into his mates) and then onto The Cut. So it was a full-on evening but as I said, ticked off a couple from the Newcastle bucket list I hadn’t done.
How did the date end? It ended pretty abruptly. I actually ended up leaving because I felt quite ill, I’ve got, like, a lingering chest infection. I tried to find them (her and my mates) in the club but I couldn’t find them, so I ended up just going home and going to bed. I sent her a text saying I didn’t feel too well, it was the smoke in The Cut, I tried to find them but I couldn’t.
So how did the date end? I found myself in McDonalds with his friends. I don’t even know where he went. I don’t know where he ended up, I mean I got a text saying - to put it in his words - he’d ‘sloped off home’. I mean I don’t know what that says about his review of the date, but I ended up in McDonalds with his friends.
Would you meet up again? It would be down to her I suppose. Do you think she is the sort of girl you would introduce to your parents? Definitely.
Maybe he’s just not so good at goodbyes. Would you meet up again though? I think it will be hard not to because I seem to have befriended his group. So yeah I’m sure I’ll see him again, probably just as friends.
Rate your date? 7 or 8 maybe.
Rate your date? 8
Campus crush : an ode My library crush, Will I ever enjoy your touch? Your hazy brown eyes Sparked the beginning of my demise, Under their penetrating stare, All I can do is dream of you in underwear, No longer can I concentrate on Russian history,
When I don’t know the person who lies beneath the mystery, When I see your lips clasped around your pen, My groin tightens and cried ‘when?’ In the lift I wait for you, But you always leave before me, right on queue, I have a girlfriend at home,
But its only you I want to see moan, Though God will decide my fate, For my library crush, I will be waiting until I graduate.
Send in your anonymous campus crushes to c2.lifestyle@ncl.ac.uk
Someone caught your eye? Looking for love? Send in your details for the Blind Date to c2.lifestyle@ ncl.ac.uk
14.lifestyle
Monday 20 October 2014
The Courier
Lifestyle Editors: Jack Dempsey, Annie Lord, Holly Suttle and Tom Tibble
Sartres’ Sisters are doing it for themselves take on the Kathryn Holland discusses the taboo around women who wank Toon F
O
nly through our decisions are we important, by choosing the choice to choose. These notions engulfed my mind as I wandered down an unknown avenue, lost in my freedom, unaware of the path in which to take next, I knew I was in the Toon. I took a turn down a road named Collingwood Street, and it sunk in, I was lost, j’etais perdu. That’s when I saw it, ‘Perdu’, the lost land, enticing me in with its bold, illuminated lettering. I realised this was my fate, my project had once again become clear and I was the master of it. Joining the queue, I observed the floods of individuals swarming around me, all their hands, feet and hair merging to form a collection of disjointed spirits. But then I saw someone different. An individual removed from the crowd, clipboard in hand, carrying with him an air of importance. On continuing my observation of this separated being, I contemplated his actions; every glance at his clipboard a little too strained, every movement a little too thought-out and every conversation a little too forced. I observed this phenomenon with an interest that aroused within me a deep, uncomfortable awareness of the inauthenticity of this being. A mere actor, unable to own up to the burden of his existence by assuming a role in a play, and his stage was the entrance to ‘Perdu’. He approached me, attempting to hand me a wristband, the purpose of which he explained was to reduce the price of entry. I refuted his gesture. As humans, we are responsible for creating our own purpose in life, by accepting the wristband I would be inadvertently associating myself with ‘Perdu’, an institution outside of myself, hence removing my individuality and my choice to choose. One must refuse to let oneself be transformed into an institution, even if this means paying an extra £1 to get into ‘Perdu’.
“I vomited a stream of green”
Man is condemned to be free, because once thrown into the existence of ‘Perdu’, he is responsible for everything he does. I entered into the lost land and approached the bar. Looking around me at the inhabitants of this bewildering abode, I witnessed their dark, solemn souls, masked with a façade of happiness. The heavy weight of freedom that these individuals were unable to own up to became overpowering, a sense of nausea overcame me and I vomited a stream of green anguish over the unsuspecting bar maid. She looked back at me, wiping away the vomit from her face to reveal two wide, flaming eyes. That odious look she gave me entrapped me in a hell in her mind of which there is no exit, a hell that I can never escape. Hell is other people. Recognising this I took my leave from the lost land, passing the performing actor on the way out who was placing a stamp on an acquaintances wrist a little too casually. I wandered off, suddenly before my eyes appeared a safe haven, a log cabin in a forest of questions, my gaze rises and I read the comforting golden letters – ‘Munchies’. I entered, looking around the artificial space at the cluster of broken individuals that befell my eyes; I witnessed those who have strayed off course, unaware of their own destiny, knowing nothing but the shattered paths that have crumbled before their eyes. “A large cheesy chips please”, I said solemnly. They arrived and I stared into the portion of chips, in that moment seeing them with clarity, how they were meant to be seen, in their terms. I saw the world through their eyes, and they looked back at me with a weak, sympathetic glance, in a way to say, “Jean-Paul, you’ve had a heavy night, go home.” As told to Jack Adcock
emale masturbation, like male masturbation, is a fact of life. One of the major differences between the two, (and no, I’m not talking about the opposing genitals), is that there is a massive taboo that surrounds the idea of girls bashing one out. Of course, like the idea that girls do actually poo, the subject of female masturbation is often only spoken about after large amounts of alcohol is consumed, or if the conversation lacks the presence of females during a lad chat. Why is it that female masturbation is fine for the purposes of male titillation? Why does female desire without a purpose make us feel uncomfortable? Are women not allowed to experience the same sense of desire that men do? It’s as if we are willingly part of a conspiracy that makes us unable to talk about masturbation sensibly and soberly; it’s not as if women are going to magically discover their clitorises for the first time and be wanking aggressively all day long, forgetting that they have any other commitments. Because that would be ridiculous, wouldn’t it?
“It’s a great way of discovering your sexual self ”
It is time to bust the taboo of female masturbation and address the fact that like boys, girls also need to pleasure themselves occasionally. In order to address the issue, I brought my closest girlfriends together so we could talk about masturbation like big girls. I thought it would be best to include only a handful of the questions proposed; the extent to which the conversation went would be too much for this article. When did you first become aware of what masturbation was? Sophie: Ermm, round about the age of 12 at secondary school when I finally asked my mum what people meant when they said ‘fingering’. Lydia: I think I was about 8, my family were very open. Claire: It was around the time when I started watching more ‘mature’ movies and when kids started talking about sex more in general.
What kind if techniques do you use to masturbate? Sophie: I stick to the classics. Lydia: I like to mix it up. Sometimes I use my vibrator, sometimes just my fingers. Claire: For me clitoral stimulation is the way forward. How quickly can you get yourself off, and how does this compare to how quickly you come from sex? Sophie: I can get myself off in about 5 minutes if I’m in a rush, 10 if I’m taking my time. Sex wise, it usually takes a bit longer and I have to be on top. Lydia: Yeah I come pretty quickly when I’m going solo. During sex I usually always come, sometimes even several times after the first initial orgasm… Claire: Ermmm very, very quickly, obviously I like to stretch it so I can enjoy it a bit longer, plus it makes the orgasm even better. I never come
through sex, usually I can only finish when they go down on me. Anything else you’d like to add, ladies? Sophie: I love doing it, sometimes I do it before go to sleep sends me off feeling happy. Lydia: I don’t know why, but now I have a boyfriend I do it more. Claire: I sometimes do it just to keep warm; student houses are chilly. Despite the “bad rep” that masturbation gets, it’s a great way of discovering your sexual self! It’s the perfect way to find out what you like, what you don’t like and what turns you on without lying there awkwardly as someone rubs your downstairs red raw with no chance of an orgasm. Its time we girls started talking about masturbation, we need to embrace our sexual needs and our desires, we need to tell the world that we are strong, independent women who are in charge of our own orgasms!
5 ways to enter a party T
hroughout your life, you’ve witnessed an evolution of parties back from the cute little birthday sleepovers, those dodgy house parties when the parents are away, and now the odd halls flat party (where you basically go predrink at someone else’s flat, specifically so you don’t have to clean up yours the next day). Whenever and wherever the party is at, one thing that never changes is the arrival. Here are the five styles:
1
Late
Fashionably late verges on missing the entire thing. Everyone knows when a party starts at 8pm, you go at half 9 but the true latecomers will push that even further. They want to make an entrance, but usually end up missing the action. Why so late you may ask? Generally the answer will encompass some kind of catastrophe; the fake tan wouldn’t dry, we left our booze back at home, we just COULDN’T DECIDE WHAT TO WEAR. Don’t be fooled. We aaaall know it’s for effect.
2
Drunk
We’ve all witnessed this. Everyone is getting along nicely, the vibe is good and then... What was that crash? Why are they lying on the doormat? Why is he stroking my face? Then you feel the slow shame flood through you as you realise; he’s smashed, and you’re not. What is life? In consolidation, you remember that at predrinks, it’s go hard or go home. You know they’ll be passed out in the toilet in no time. Get those shots in quick.
3
Early
Arguably worse than arriving late, these guys are first to arrive whether you want them there or not. They’re usually the more nervous of people- not exactly the life and soul. They’re sussing out the situation before the whole thing turns to anarchy. You’ll find them in a corner, stuck in their usual group and whispering ‘God, where is that guy from my Chemistry class? He SAID he’d be here!’ Watch this space though; their true characters will appear after they slurp down a few G&Ts.
“You know they’ll be passed out in the toilet in no time”
4
5
Gatecrashing
Yep, you know who you are. You’re not wanted, you’re not invited. You’re an unknown, mysterious being who’s imposed themselves on someone else’s territory. Like the fancy dress, you need guts to pull this off. The gatecrasher can vary from the awkward guy who doesn’t talk to anyone (at all) to the ultimate pimp that everyone’s talking about for the next week. The power is in your hands. The ultimate goal? An ACTUAL invitation to the next big do. Ruth Loeffler
Dressed up
Think Legally Blonde style. Either you missed the memo or just want to make a statement. Or actually just haven’t found the will to change after the traumatic hockey initiation the night before. Watch their initial reaction when they walk in and it will tell a LOT about their intentions here. Will they be Vogue cover model standard or will they roll into the party in shame, like Bridget Jones in THAT old bunny outfit?
Illustrations by Alice Holden
The Courier
lifestyle.15
Monday 20 October 2014
The eternal struggle: Uni A friends vs. home friends
Bus etiquette: The art and pain of choosing a seat
“W
hat’s your name? What course are you doing? Where are you from?’. These are the parroted mantras of the squeaky new fresher. Meeting countless new faces and struggling to remember a million new names (a task that becomes progressively harder as the night goes on) is quite simply brain-frazzling. However, amongst all of the social frenzy there won’t be many of us that haven’t spared a thought for our beloved and tragically left-behind home friends. But which are better? Your homely ‘bezzies for life’ who know about your rashy adolescence, or the exciting new Uni friends who don’t, allowing you to maintain an (inevitably short-lived) air of sophisticated cool?
“The conversation seems somehow a little awkward, despite all the years”
My circle of six best friends at home have been tightly woven for years and haven’t gone as long as a whole day without updating each other on their every move via a painfully annoying, constantly bleeping group iMessage. But recently, my phone has been harassed far more frequently by messages from flatmates: ‘Are you coming home after your lecture?’, ‘WHERE ARE YOU? WE’RE IN THE SMOKING AREA’, and far less by one of the six letting us all know that their cat has just thrown up. You’d never deliberately neglect your home
friends, but it’s easy to get swept up in the excitement of Uni life and not always set aside a time to Skype. Even when you make the effort, and even when glacially slow WiFi connection in halls haven’t scuppered any attempts to chat, the conversation seems somehow a little awkward, despite years of being way too comfortable with each other. With friends at other universities, the usual flow of ridiculous recurring jokes and winding each other up has been reduced to an almost stilted small talk, consisting of banal questions such as, “How is your course? Are your flatmates nice?” But for those poor souls who are still stuck at school resitting their Biology A-Level, the topics of conversation are limited even further by your pathetic attempt to make out Uni isn’t that good, the nights out aren’t much better than our beloved local nightclub, and that they’re not missing out on too much, (lies… all lies). The giant social melting pot that is a student hall throws together a handful of polar opposite personalities shaped by different backgrounds and life experiences. Throw in many nights of (responsible) alcohol consumption and there you have it - a recipe that can only go only one of two ways. In my flat, despite the fact that we’ve got a ‘gap yah’, a crazily sporty sports guy and a fabulous gay living within mere metres of each other, we’ve formed a loving little Newcastle family from the first cup of tea. Having found
bonding opportunities in the Great British Bake Off and a passion for videos of hedgehogs doing cute things, I feel positive that I’m living with friends, rather than just flatmates.
“Halls throw together a handful of polar opposite personalities shaped by different experiences”
Having a whole new group of friends who can successfully make me laugh until I cry is undeniably ultra-exciting. Whether or not we’ll be joined at the hip for the next three years is yet to be seen but for the time-being I’m feeling quite smug about how naturally we get along. Yet, at times, I have to admit I’ve felt a little cast out on a limb without the comfort of having someone so familiar nearby that you could recite their shoe size, important passwords and every last detail of their sexual history. Mairi Shimmins
The rules of
bitching
I
f I put 100 people in a room and asked them to raise their hand if they’d ever bitched about someone, I can guarantee that 100 hands would be in the air. However, if I asked 100 people if they’d ever bitched about a friend before, only half would raise their hands. The rest follow the rules of bitching. Or pretend to. When I was a little girl, I used to think that only boys had fights and girls played nice. Then I became a teenager and realised that the girl world is much more dangerous. Nowadays, however, I find that anybody and everybody is bitching, whatever gender they are - it’s human nature. But if everyone followed the rules of bitching, society, in my opinion, would live together much more harmoniously. There would be no silly cat fights between friends, no taking sides and no awkward bullshit explanations when you get caught and have to talk your way out of it. This brings me to rule number one:
1
Never bitch about friends
I can guarantee that whoever you’re bitching about will find out eventually. Friends have that tendency to listen to you bitch and then tell other friends but not specifically the one that you were bitching about. After a week of playing Chinese Whispers, the friend is told a much more dramatic version of your little tirade and shit hits the fan. Therefore, if you have something on your chest about a friend, just rant to your mum – she’ll never stab you in the back. You hope.
Illustration by Alice Holden
2
Know when to stop
“If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.” I agree with this, to an extent, but there are certain occasions when bitching becomes a necessary bodily function. However, it is always best kept short and sweet. No one wants to spend an entire hour listening to you pontificate about your boyfriend choosing to
“When I was a little girl, I used to think that only boys had fights and girls played nice”
spend Saturday night with his friends rather than you while they’re trying have a quiet lunch. Can you blame him when all you do is whine? Get it off your chest and then change the subject.
3
Be careful who you bitch to
Unless you know 100% that the people in your friendship group are all united, don’t risk it. It’s a common mistake that people
make – they confess their irritation and end up having to talk their way out of it because someone knows someone else who knows the person and it all ends up getting very awkward. I recommend having one best friend who you trust completely so that you can vent without the stress of wondering if a hitman is going to come after you.
4
Don’t be an unnecessary bitch
We see them on the television, we hear them on the bus – the big bitches. The ones who talk about people because of no other reason than their own boredom. You know, the ones who make us wish we had the confidence to turn around and tell them to grow up and be decent human beings. We don’t have to be completely against bitching to all get along but we do need to stick to the four simple rules so that life is a lot smoother for everyone. Happy bitching everybody! Charlotte Smith
s soon as you walk onto a bus, you subconsciously scan every passenger. You are already trying to locate the ideal seat, meticulously planning out your route there, determined not to touch anyone or anything with yourself or bag. The events that follow usually go something like this. After sauntering down the least romantic aisle you will ever walk down, desperate to retain composure as the bus jolts out of the lay-by, you arrive at your carefully selected seat and instantly realise your mistake. The lump of rotting chewing gum stuck on the back of the seat in front of you crowds your personal space, while the mysterious stain on the seat next to you stares menacingly.
“You saunter down the least romantic aisle you will ever walk down”
No longer able to stomach these objects of unpleasantness, you make the daring move of switching seats, meaning that you now have to sit next to another person. His headphones, which look like a convenient ploy for avoiding any unnecessary conversation, blare A Day to Remember so loudly you feel like you’re at an intimate gig venue without the beer, or the band, for that matter. At the next Illustration by stop, a horde of Shivangi Kumra schoolchildren board the bus. As they make their way to the back, one of them knocks you with their bag, stabbing you with the mathematical compass sticking out of the side. Another one trips over someone’s foot and lands in your lap, scrambling to get up as the bus moves out of the stop and his friends rave at the hilarity of your sad situation. The couple opposite you begin fondling one another’s faces. They can’t keep their hands off each other even for a public bus journey. The indiscreet sound of smacking lips ungraciously kisses your ears.
“You hold onto a yellow bar which will probably give you Ebola”
An elderly woman follows the school children into the bus. The stained, chewing gum encrusted seat is now taken. The priority places at the front are also taken by people even younger than you are. So you make the grand philanthropic gesture of offering your own, taking comfort in the fact that her being hard of hearing will prevent her from suffering the deafening sound of screamo. You make your way to the front and hold onto a yellow bar which will probably give you the Ebola virus. You make a mental note to bring some antibacterial hand wash with you the next time you take the bus. You share your bar with a businessman who proceeds to talk loudly down the phone for the rest of the journey. You are showered in spittle. Now it’s time to get off the bus. You squeeze past legs, shopping bags and every other standing person, who tut and mutter as you push by them. You have never received so many death stares. Then the people at the stop decide it’s a good idea to board the bus before you’ve gotten off, creating a huge blockage. A woman tries to steer her pram on whilst attempting to pay an exasperated bus driver over the sound of her screaming child. You vow that this will be your last bus ride. But the very next day, you find yourself repeating the whole ordeal. Jenny Coles
16.fashion
Monday 20th October 2014
The Courier
Fashion Editors: Amy O’Rourke and Hannah Fitton Online Fashion Editor: Hannah Goldstein
Margiela or Morals?
Snapped on campus Lottie Bovill and Bethanie Hall snap the most stylish on campus
Tessa Jones The fashion world has given John Galliano a second chance, but should he ever have been welcomed back?
W
e have all said things we shouldn’t have whilst under the influence, but September 2011 saw a Paris court shockingly rule John Galliano guilty of making antiSemitic and racist remarks in a Paris café, whilst inebriated. Upon this very public revelation, he was swiftly fired from his post as Creative Director at Christian Dior, after 15 years, with them “unequivocally” condemning his actions. The actress Natalie Portman, who is the face of Miss Dior and “proud to be Jewish”, released a statement at the time distancing herself completely from Galliano. Other reactions from within the fashion world were varied: from sympathy for his inability to cope with the fast-pace of the luxury business, to concerns for his mental health and substance abuse, to some just being angered, such as Karl Lagerfeld telling Womenswear Daily that he was downright “furious with him”. Galliano has been making a gradual return to fashion since the incident, with a temporary residency at Oscar de la Renta in 2013 and famously designing Kate Moss’ wedding dress in 2011, although he came nowhere near his previous dominance. Until now.
“There is no denying the incredible creative talent of John Galliano, but is business being put before morality?”
Three years on and the Parisian fashion house Maison Martin Margiela have this week appointed Galliano as their new Creative Director. The general reaction within the fashion world has been overwhelmingly positive. However, some fashion bods have been left confused by this latest development, with New York Times fashion critic Alexandra Jacobs humorously tweeting “what’s next, Paula Deen takes over Le Cirque”. Galliano is known for his dramatic and often completely ‘out-there’ creations, whereas the usual designs of Margiela are somewhat more subtle and avant-garde. It could seem that they are using the controversial designer to bring shock-value and greater press coverage to the brand’s rumoured progression into a new era, but a completely different design style may just be a part of their reinvention.
“It could seem that they are using the controversial designer to bring shock value and greater press coverage to the brand’s rumoured progression into a new era”
Although Galliano has seemingly gone to great efforts to atone for his disgraceful comments, some may not agree that a person who caused such offence, and may still hold views which go against humanity, in this way should be given a chance to regain their previous influence and prestige, and on such a global platform. Alternatively, some people accredited his outburst to substance abuse, which he has sought treatment for, and it could be a bad move to reinstate Galliano into a similarly high-stress situation, for fear of a relapse. There is no denying the incredible creative talent of John Galliano, but is business being put before morality?
Abi 19 Geography Stage 2
Liam 20 Civil and Structural Engineering Stage 2
Henry 19 Politics Stage 2
Grace 19 English Literature Stage 1
You’ve got a trend in me
With the autumnal chill taking hold of Newcastle, Phoebe-Claire Bower asks whether we should embrace faux fur, or leave the ermine to the vermin Hannah
Ellie
Fur is a very young clothing item, with a young target market in mind. I don’t mind it on young people, but I think post age 40, it looks a little mutton-dressed-as-lamb. I would be open to wearing a proper full-fur piece if I found something that suited me, but at the moment I’m keeping it small scale. I’m partial to fur accessories, like a little fur trim on the hood of my coat, but nothing too standoutish.
I absolutely LOVE fur. I think its looks really classy, as long as you style it right. It’s so nice and warm, giving it a practicality, and makes it perfect for the winter months. My faux fur coat is one of my favourite items and was well worth the cost to buy.
Borum
Fur clothing is not really for me. It is really difficult to match with a lot of my clothes, and the style that I wear. It is also sometime a bit much and makes you stand out. I do think it’s really nice though, just not for me.
Reuben
As I guy, I’m not much of a fur wearer. It’s a very feminine item, so I would never really wear it, but I do think it’s stylish. Some people can really pull it off.
Natalie
I love my faux fur gilet and wear it constantly; it’s black which means it goes with everything. I love the feel and warmth of fur, and a good fur trim really classes up other clothes, especially coats. The only problem with it is that it’s useless in the rain. When it gets wet, it looks a little like you’re rocking a wet dog around your neck.
Piotr
I don’t really have much of an opinion on it. I don’t really wear it but that’s because it’s a girly item, and I’m a guy. As a clothing item in general, I think whether you like it or not, and if you should wear it, is a matter of preference. If you like wearing it, that’s the most important thing and you should go ahead.
Emily
I think fake fur is one of those clothing items you have to know how to style correctly, because there is that risk of looking cheap and tacky (which nobody wants). It always reminds me of the film The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, when they first emerge from the wardrobe in those bulky, fur coats. It’s definitely a winter wardrobe item, and I love how soft and warm it can feel. I’m not sure I could wear it, but certain people pull it off really well.
The Courier
fashion.17
Monday 20th October 2014
thecourieronline.co.uk/fashion Instagram:@thecourierfashion | Facebook: facebook.com/thecourierfash |Email: c2.fashion@ncl.ac.uk |
Nina knows best
Our resident agony aunt Nina Hamer solves readers’ wardrobe worries
Q
Top shop £4
2
Hi Nina I’m looking to invest in a coat for the freezing winter months in Newcastle. I already have a parka, so I’m looking for something a bit different. I’m a size ten and don’t want to spend anymore than £75. Thanks for your help, Sarah.
A
Hi Sarah, I’ve tried to give you a range of different styles to choose from, whether you’re after a timeless classic, a pop of colour or a chic printed number, here’s what I found. The Duffle is making a comeback this A/W and F&F have jumped on the hype with a beautiful postbox red seasonal must-have. Because of its classic and flattering shape, this coat would look great with any casual outfit, I would personally go for a cream turtle neck fisherman’s jumper and jeans – very British-chic! Dunnes has come up trumps in the winter coat department, I was spoilt for choice when trying to whittle it down to just three, but this clean cut shape with a subtle quirky print caught my eye. This coat will be sure to keep you warm and cosy while ensuring you look effortlessly stylish as you walk across campus. Dunnes does it again with this tailored tweed winter warmer. The structure and colours of this coat will give you an uber-sophisticated look and would go perfectly with a simple white shirt and leather look pants, or a preppy pinafore. If you would like Nina’s advice on a wardrobe woe, drop us an email at c2.fashion@ncl.ac.uk
Linzi
Q
Hello Nina, I love Vagabond’s black chunky heeled shoes, as they are perfect for both days at uni and nights out too. However, I really can’t stretch to the £90+ price tag. Are there any cheaper alternatives out there? Thanks, Lucy.
A
Hi Lucy, I have found you three pairs of Vagabond-style boots for just half, or less, than the price of the originals; I hope this helps you, or anyone else on the seemingly never-ending quest for the perfect winter boot! The first pair are £42 from Topshop. They’re a perfect height as they can be worn for casual days at uni or for a comfy option on a night out. The lace up military style is the perfect mix of androgynous-chic and 90s girl grunge and would look great with either light denim or the clueless-style co-ord. This boot is from a brand called Spylovebuy, if you haven’t already been on their website you should check it out – they have a huge range of ultra-trendy and affordable winter boots; whether you’re looking for a Vagabond-esque boot or a more classic style. A take on the classic Chelsea, this thick track sole boot is the perfect answer to a statement style with an edgy twist. My third pick is the cool kid of the bunch – complete with zip detail and a biker-girl aesthetic. Would look fab with faux leather pants or, if you’re looking for a more feminine look, sheer tights and a floral dress under a chunky knit.
£35
Abandon the bandana?
Kathryn Holland and Paige Roddam debate one of this season’s most controversial pieces
S
tylish headwear isn’t just for girls, if today’s celebrities are anything to go by boys, it is time to embrace the bandana with pride. The bandana has been around for decades but this year it returned as the must have accessory for men. The Louis Vuitton men’s spring/summer show was awash with bandanas, and it made me realise how that simple bit of material can add so much to an outfit. Depending on your hair length you can wear your bandana in a variety of ways. If you have long locks, like those of the infamous Harry Styles, the possibilities are endless. Simply fold a square bandana into a long rectangle and use it to push back those luscious locks of yours. If you rock a shorter style you can still wear the bandana, as Zac Efron demonstrates, but make sure not to go overboard with the thickness of the bandana, keep it slim and tightly rolled as to not let it dominate your forehead. You have an unlimited choice of what to wear your bandana with. If you want to go for a relaxed and rocky look, pair it with skinny black jeans and an oversized checked shirt. Or why not emulate Harry and keep it simple by teaming it with a plain black top and jeans for an everyday, stylish look. Bandana’s now come in an array of colours, if you are wanting to stand out in the crowd at a festival then a canary yellow will do the trick, or if you are just going to uni for the day then perhaps stick to the traditional crimson red. Patterned bandana’s are big too, but avoid wearing it with other patterned items, you don’t want a pattern overload. Of course you don’t have to wear a bandana around your head, as Saint Laurent showed, one loosely tied round your neck adds an edginess to any outfit. Put it with an all black ensemble and use it as a statement piece. Alternatively drape the bandana loosely around your neck to give a different twist to a suit. It’s time to stop thinking of the bandana as the accessory of bikers, cowboys and roadies, welcome into your wardrobe with open arms and let it spice up any outfit.
A
staple accessory in any edgy teenager’s wardrobe, the bandana is slowly creeping its way into mainstream fashion. Walk down Northumberland Street on any given Saturday and you’ll spot at least one group of lads sporting ill-fitting pieces of fabric tied around their foreheads, or worse, wrapped around their bicep. Recently popularised by boybands, boys everywhere are keeping their fringes out of their eyes with ‘totally vintage’ bandanas they probably bought from Topman for a fiver. One Direction’s Harry Styles is probably the main culprit when it comes to bandanas, popularising the trend not only as a hair accessory but also as a cowboy-esque necktie. While I can’t deny the practicality of a bandana at a festival as an alternative to dry shampoo, I am just not on board with wearing it as an everyday fashion accessory. Another trend being carried over from this summer’s festivals is the bandana top. Rather than actually go to the trouble of buying a new shirt, girls are instead opting to simply tie a bandana around their upper half as a halter top or a bandeau. Again, while this might be cool and practical at a hot and sweaty festival, it’s definitely not okay to wear to a lecture. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a big fan of the 90s revival happening in the fashion world right now, but for me bandanas are definitely something that should be left at Glasto. Newcastle in autumn is definitely not the time or the place for a top made out of a tiny square piece of fabric, and wearing a bandana as a necktie is something best left to Hulk Hogan. In summary, bandanas are a big fashion no-no this season; whether it is tied around your fringe, your bicep, your thigh, or dangling from your belt hooks on your jeans, leave it at the festival, guys. Many designers are also starting to use the bandana print on t-shirts, shirts, and even trousers, and if that’s not enough to put you off, surely seeing the swarms of fourteen-year-olds in Eldon Square wearing them is. If you’re looking for hair accessories this season, a woolly hat is definitely a better way forward than a thin piece of cloth.
A nod to the mod James Murphy
T
he mod movement emerged in the early 1960s, fuelled by obsessively smart dressing, amphetamines, and a love of black American music. The mods were one of the first youth movements, exemplifying the ways in which teenagers in general have come to obsess over the interconnection between music and fashion. Mods brought to the forefront many staple fashion items that still remain to this day; Fred Perry polo shirts, Clarks desert boots, Levi jeans, and, of course, the fishtail parka. For me, born in 1994, it sparked my own obsession with clothes, which in turn expanded my musical taste. So how did this youth subculture come to emerge among the working class baby boomer generation?
“A former manager of The Who described being a mod as ‘clean living under difficult circumstances’”
Pete Meaden, a former manager of The Who, described being a mod as “clean living under difficult circumstances”. Basically, he was expressing that fashion and looking good were suddenly no longer a class privilege. This first true generation of British teenagers spent all their money on clothes, records, and haircuts, and were able to because of their new disposable income. The only rule when it came to mod dressing was for it to look sharp and neat, and most importantly give attention to detail. On the surface mod looks can appear a bit like a uniform, which leads to the great mod contradiction, being an individual part of a club. Therefore attention to detail became important because mods wanted to stand out amongst their peers. This was done by wearing badges, having an extra button on the cuff of your suit jacket, or wearing a different type of tie clip. It was this attention to detail that appealed to me, so much so that I would make sure my socks matched the dominant colour I wore on the top of my body, and that my belt matched my shoes, even when just going to a lecture. Music was the reason I wanted to be mod in the first place. When I was 12 I bought a copy of Q magazine with Liam Gallagher on the front and from there my interest grew exponentially. I always thought the mod bands/artists looked the coolest, and one particularly favourite icon of mine was a Style Council-era Paul Weller. I probably stole block colour matching from looking at posters of the Style Council. So is mod still relevant today? Mod is now a worldwide phenomenon with mods everywhere from London to Jakarta. Mod nights and festivals are regularly held. Even current celebrities such as Bradley Wiggins and Martin Freeman consider themselves to be mods. The image has proven to be durable due to the look’s big emphasis on style over fashion. There is not one distinctive mod look; it is the way the clothes are put together. This makes the look just as clean and timeless today as it was in 1965. Mod kicked off youth fashion in the UK and since then we’ve never looked back.
18.beauty
Monday 20 October 2014
The Courier
Beauty Editors: Charlotte Davies and Charlotte Maxwell Online Editor: Kathy Davidson
Real women:
The best of Beauty Empowering
Empowering or isolating?
Throughout October ITV’s This Morning will show no models, only Gok Wan’s ‘real women’. Claire Hawthorn and Maxine Davies discuss whether this term is truly inclusive and body positive
with
Kathryn Holland
This week our guru on all things glamour gives us her top WLSV IRU VXUYLYLQJ IUHVKHUV¶ À X
L
ast week my body took a bit of battering: it was like I had contracted some kind of delayed freshers flu. My glands swelled to what felt like twice their size, my throat felt like it had been fused with jagged bits of broken glass and my mum received more than one desperate, pleading phone call for her to come rescue me. All in all it was not a good week and by the end of it I had definitely looked better. My skin was dry and flaky, there were dark circles under my eyes that looked as though they would never fade and in general I gave off a very defaulted air. I knew however, I couldn’t keep this up through the weekend, I needed to shake myself out of this stupor and get ready for my flatmate’s upcoming 21st.
“It’s like having a mini pamper session for your hair, all you have to do is leave it on for 10 minutes, the rinse out well and your hair looks revitalised”
Firstly, I needed to do something about my hair. Three days without properly brushing or drying my hair meant it was definitely in need of some drastic hair rehab. Fortunately, my mum had made me a bit of ‘get better soon pack’ which contained a bottle of Moroccan oil Restorative Hair Mask. My hair is quite thin and looks limp very quickly so it often needs a bit of a reboost. This hair mask is great at making my hair feel voluminous and full of life. It’s like having a mini pamper session for your hair, all you have to do is leave it on for about 10 minutes, then rinse out well and your hair looks revitalised. After my hair I needed to do something about my skin. I had developed a very uneven skin tone. My nose was flaky and red and the dark circles around my eyes were horrendous. Fortunately for me, this year I was introduced to skin primers and now I can’t believe I ever put on make up without it. I switch between primers depending on my current state of complexion. Mac have a great range if primers, I currently own their prep and prime fortified skin enhancer which helps even out skin tone and add radiance, it’s great for day time make-up and helps hid any 9 ‘o’clock start dark circles. An even application made my skin look fresh and much smoother, a great base for foundation.
T
his week models have been banned from This Morning to give ‘real women’ a chance to strut their stuff. It can surely only be a positive thing that the media is shining light on the fact that the average woman is not the size and shape of a super-model. We are surrounded by ‘reality’ TV shows of women of a certain ertain weight. As well as this shows like America’s Next Top Model do nothing but link excessively rigid diets and an obsession with body image to success. When female celebrities are ripped apart by magazines and tabloids the second they appear to have put on weight, how do they respond? By drastically losing it and often then re-launching their career, only reinforcing this idea that losing weight will get you ahead. I can’t count the number of interviews I have seen where the reply from a female celebrity when asked about her secret to having such a great figure is that she just ‘eats well and stays active’. My concern is not that these women in the spotlight may be going to such drastic lengths, rather, it is the fact that they don’t portray the reality of what it takes to look like they do and why therefore so few women in the ‘real world’ actually look like them. This idea that the svelte, athletic celebrity body just happens naturally as they stroll along the beach is not only ridiculous, but damaging as it leads girls and women to think it should be that simple. As a result it leaves women feeling there must be something wrong with them when it doesn’t happen that way for them.
“My concern is not that these women in the spotlight may be going to such drastic lengths, it is the fact that they don’t portray the reality of what it takes to look like they do”
Perhaps the opportunity for the general public to see that other women their size can wear cat-walk clothes and make them look good will finally take the pressure off women who want to throw their magazines at someone’s head after opening the first page.
I
Isolating
t is undeniable that the fashion industry has some serious issues when it comes to representing women. Women exist across a diverse spectrum of body shapes and sizes, however this is often diminished in favour of the perceived “ideal”: tall, slim and able-bodied. More often than not the women we see on catwalks, in magazines and on our televisions conform to a very particular set of physical ideals. The basic aims of Gok Wan’s “Real Women” campaign, then, to represent women with different bodies, seem at first to be relatively admirable; however, the rhetoric used here is incredibly damaging. Firstly, through use of the term “real women”, the campaign marginalises women who actually conform to society’s ‘ideal’. What are these women, who happen to be thin, if not women? Holograms? Cartoons? Cyborgs? We cannot blame women for existing in their natural state for problems with the media’s lack of representation.
“We cannot blame women for existing in their natural state for problems with the media’s lack of representation” Secondly, the campaign itself is inherently flawed. One moment Gok tells his chosen “real women” that they can be beautiful at any size or shape, and in the next he tells them that their new skirt works so well because it gives the illusion that their hips are smaller. You don’t have to hide parts of your body. There is no shape that you have to attempt to imitate, here. If you want to wear a certain style of clothing, it doesn’t matter if you look like an hourglass, a pear, an apple (anyone notice the reduction of human women to inanimate objects? Surprise, surprise), if you want to wear a potato sack: do it, as long as it makes you feel good! Finally, the most damaging implication here is that being a woman has anything to do with your physical form. This is simply untrue. If you identify yourself as a woman, it doesn’t matter whether you are fat or thin, whether you have curves or not, or what body parts you may or may not have: you are a real woman.”
Get ready with me This week Liz Rosling gets ready for a night out at Rebel Thursdays, Digital
“Luckily for me my bestie told me a great foundation that lasts all night long even at the sweatiest night at Throwback”
I knew that the approaching weekend was going to be a heavy one, and still not feeling my best, I knew I needed a foundation that would cover up any recurring signs of illness. Luckily for me my bestie told me a great foundation that lasts all night long even at the sweatiest night at Throwback. Estée Lauders Double Wear Stay-in-Place Makeup. It’s amazing: it stays in place for what seems like forever, it doesn’t transfer, doesn’t leave your skin looking shiny and leave your skin looking flawless. It was exactly what my post-illness skin needed. It seems therefore that instead of plying yourself with paracetamol, ibuprofen or any other over the counter drug you choose to consume, all you need to get over the dreaded student flu is a few carefully chosen beauty products.
F
or most of us girls, preparation for a night on the town is of paramount importance. Whilst hair, make-up and outfit choice all play a fundamental role in putting together the perfect evening look, my favourite part of the process has to be make-up application, due to the variety of versatile looks that can be created. So let’s start with the basics, the base. A foundation that has yet to fail me is Maybelline’s Dream Satin Liquid. When used in combination with Dermablend’s Cosmetique Corrective, skin is quite literally left looking flawless. Step 2: apply a thorough layer of powder to avoid shine. I recommend Rim-
mel’s Stay Matte, particularly useful for those with an oilier complexion. Now on to the eyebrows. Should funds allow, Benefit Brow Zings provides brilliant wax, powder and blending brushes to achieve those bolder brows that are trending this season. Next on the agenda are the eyes, and I tend to go all out with eye shadow. With clubbing in mind, go for darker shades - Playboy’s Sultry Smokey Eye Set is perfect for this, and a real bargain buy. Start with your darkest tone and work your way up, I’ve found that applying the lightest shade to the corners makes eyes appear brighter, and for a glittery
finish, gently dab the gold on top. Eyelashes – If, like me, you weren’t blessed with naturally long lashes and can’t be faffed with the fuss that accompanies falsies, I have two tips: 1) Thick eyeliner application acts as a great compensator for shorter lashes. 2) Bobbi Brown’s Extreme Party Mascara achieves volume minus the clumps. Finito! You’re fresh faced and ready for the night. All that’s left to do is pick an outfit. But let’s face it; with your make-up on point, you’ll look great in whatever you choose to throw together.
The Courier
beauty.19
Monday 20 October 2014
thecourieronline.co.uk/beauty Instagram @courier_beauty | Twitter @CourierBeauty
Reclaiming the afro Jess Poyner she explains why we need to appreciate our natural hair
Holy grail products Flo Davies talks us through three treasured products that she couldn’t live without La Roche-Posay Hydreane Legere moisturiser
T I
first rejected the word ‘afro’ to describe my hair aged around nine or ten after a group of teenage boys on my estate hissed and yelled the word at me as if it was an insult. From that day until a couple of years ago I always insisted that my hair was ‘curly’, grew it out and used curl definition gel to keep it in perfect ringlets framing my face. While growing up, I remember seeing very few images of black men and women with their hair in a natural style such as an afro or in locs. Until very recently the dominant images in my life have been of Western styles, with the only famous people wearing locs being musicians such as Newton Faulkner. I have had to make a conscious decision to alter the bias in the media I consume and now fol-
low many black fashion blogs on Tumblr which is inspiring me to be more and more creative with my natural hair and to properly appreciate its versatility. There’s a huge increase in black women embracing the natural hair movement, which defies the idea that un-straightened black hair is unprofessional looking, ugly and unclean. Racial stigmatisation against natural hairstyles is definitely still prevalent in society; take for instance the massive backlash against Beyonce’s choice to keep her toddler’s hair natural, over 5,000 people signed a petition demanding that does something to stop it “developing matted dreads and lint balls”. Hair choice is of course a personal choice and should be that way, but due to some negative attitudes within society, people with afro hair may be denied this choice, and feel
pressured to succumb to Western beauty standards. I went through a few phases of straightening my hair when going to the hairdressers, and feeling uncomfortable when my hair was brushed out and looked ‘frizzy’ (a ridiculously long and expensive process, lasting only a few days). Then, when I was 16, I went for a radical change and cut it super short that made its texture looser, with more kinky curls. I’m now far more confident to brush it out, and I style it using Aussie curl definition gel which conditions and fluffs it up and has a bit of hold in it that keeps my hair in place. Reclaiming the word ‘afro’ to describe my hair has been an important part in defining my identity as a black woman.
he most amazing foundation base you will find, a must have staple for the upcoming winter months where dehydrated skin is ever-present. La Roche-Posay does exactly what it is entitled to. Easily absorbed, it hydrates the skin without it getting oily. What makes it so special is the high concentration of selected ingredients with Thermal Spring Water, a rich texture, yet still so delicate on the face, I am yet to find a product which allows me to apply my foundation over the top so easily. It’s as simple as they come, this moisturizer gives you just enough hydration if you need some to layer over spot formulas or to pop on beneath your makeup.
Budget beauty: the face off A Harriet Lane
Ellen Walker and Emily Pentony see who can best ditch the high end products in favour of a £15 face Ellen’s Products Miss Sporty Liquid Concealer - £2.99 Natural Collection Colour Foundation - £1.99 Seventeen define and conquer contour kit - £4.99 Miss Sporty Studio Lash (Black) Liquid Liner - £2.79 Collection Colour Lash Mascara (Black) - £1.99
T
o start my £15 makeup look, I used Miss Sporty liquid concealer to mask any blemishes and create an even looking skin tone all over my face. For the next step, I then applied a small amount of Natural Collection’s colour foundation evenly , all over my face. This product was great as it gave me a really effective all over coverage without at the same time looking too heavy on my face. As an added bonus I found later that the natural ingredients didn’t clog up my pours at all. What more could you want? I then emphasised the natural contours of my face to give it more shape and detail using Seventeen’s define and conquer contour kit, this instantly gave my face a lift and glammed up the look. I applied Miss Sporty studio lash black liquid liner both on my eyelid and my bottom lash line to give me eyes some serious definition. And finally, the look was completed by using Collection’s colour lash mascara in black to extend my lashes and make them appear fuller and thicker.
Winner:
Emily’s face cost £13.50 altogether, giving her the lead by just 25p Emily’s products Rimmel Stay Matte Powder - £4 The Body Shop ‘Born Lippy’ - £2 Rimmel Professional Eyebrow Pencil - £3 Boots Eyelash Curlers - £4.50
Nars Sheer Glow foundation
staple of mine that gets me though any bad skin day, the one I reach for by default and have repurchased on repeat. Blending into the skin beautifully, and providing a light-medium flawless base, Nars Sheer Glow foundation is undoubtedly the best foundation on the market. Whilst pricey, it never fails to disappoint, immediately brightening the skin, providing a fresh faced dewy look with just one pump. The product can either be applied with a brush (working well with Real Techniques buffing brush) or, alternatively, I prefer to smooth the product in with the tip of my fingers as I can achieve the most natural looking, radiant finish, however still find the longevity to be there, melting into the skin perfectly, the healthy finish lasts all day, without any need of touching up. A classic must-have for any long day at university.
D
o your make up for under £15? Impossible I thought, but I was up for the challenge and even managed to do it under budget! There are so many great, high quality ‘drugstore’ brands with Rimmel being my favourite and, in my opinion, the best value for money. The key is being crafty with what you’ve got and look at products that can be used in a number of ways you might never have considered. I started with the base using Rimmel Stay Matte Powder, which is a good alternative to foundation giving good coverage and evening out skin tone. For both my cheeks and lips, I used The Body Shop’s ‘Born Lippy’ lip balm in Strawberry. Although a bit sticky when applying, it gives yours cheeks a nice dewy look and stays on for a long time. I then used Rimmel’s ‘Professional Eyebrow Pencil’ for both my eyebrows and as eyeliner. It’s a nice dark brown that works well for a more ‘natural’ look to your eyes. I finished off using Boots eyelash curlers that work so well, I didn’t need to apply mascara!
Nars Laguna bronzer
N
ars Laguna really is the best bronzer ever. A natural looking product that adds a gorgeous sun-kissed glow, no matter what time of the year it is. Partially matte with a hint of shimmer, it allows for excellent contouring, giving the face that extra dimension and emphasizing those cheekbones that we all feel we are lacking, alternatively, simply sweep across the face to achieve a subtle look of warmth for a more daytime appropriate look. What is great about this bronzer is that it also doubles up as an eye definer; simply sweep some over the lids, providing you with a neutral eye base, two products in one!
20.arts
Monday 20 October 2014
The Courier
Arts Editors: Lucy Chenery and Becka Crawshaw Online Arts Editor: Jess Harman
Painting over the cracks in society
Dominique Daly explores the controversial interpretations of Banksy’s latest work - is it racist or merely a comment on British society today?
B
anksy is back: the world-renowned graffiti artist has returned to roost in the eye of the UK media with the removal of his most controversial piece to date. In the past week Clacton-on-Sea’s Council has chemically removed a stencil painting from the walls of the sea side town in response to a complaint about racist content.
“His most controversial piece to date”
W
hen does the place to experience or exhibit art become too big? One of the largest art buildings in the UK and the most visited gallery in the world, Tate Modern covers a 34,500 sq. m area and it’s currently under expansion. It makes you wonder the impact art is having beyond those white gallery walls (with the exception of land art which is often outside of the gallery). At what stage will art become more than a commodity in an art gallery and instead, a collaboration between artist and non-artist to create a mutually enriching experience? With the likes of performance art, socially-engaged practice and community art there has been - since the beginning of conceptual practice in the 1960’s – more emphasis on process and engagement beyond that of form and the viewer simply looking at a piece of art. A recent visiting artist to the university alighted an issue that has been niggling at me for some time – why is there still such a separation between art and life? Karen Guthrie’s practice engages with collaboration so thoroughly that, to her, it’s more of an ethos. However, defining where collaboration ends is the difficult part. More often than not an artist is seen as separate from the ‘public’ having to consider how the audience interprets their work, surprisingly this separation still exists even with collaborative projects or documentaries that use a community. Yet, the artist is still a member of the public, surely their work runs parallel to that of life and therefore everyone in some way is a contributor?
“When will art become more than a commodity in a gallery and instead a collaboration to create a mutually enriching experience?”
Guthrie’s film Bata-ville is initiated out of an ‘attempt to regenerate a declining part of the postindustrial world’. The theatricality of Guthrie and Nina Pope’s (Guthrie’s committed artistic partner) hostess costumes implies that direction or ‘hosting’ is needed. Requiring someone to mediate the group could perhaps look domineering but I think it’s more of a chance for them to gather the community’s perspective – the one that is often ignored. Film as a medium allows expression and might otherwise be oppressed. More specifically, film offers an element of detachment from reality, which at times can powerfully emphasise a problem. The writer David Crowly brings Bourriard’s idea of art into the equation when formulating Guthrie and Pope’s work; artwork is a statement of the fact we live in a shared world. Leading the way since the 1990s, Guthrie understands the importance of social relations in the production of art and the impact it can have. Unfortunately it doesn’t seem that all contemporary artists have adopted this view. Perhaps this is an idealistic view but I think its time that art became a space for active discussion and collaboration that explores relevant issues in a creative sense. Not confined to square footage, a specific site or even a community, art could be a shared interaction or exchange not defined by place or the art world’s ego.
In recent years the satirical spray master’s rise in popularity has seen the value of his artwork leap to heights of $1,870,000. However, with success comes scepticism, and m a n y critics have claimed that the commodification of Banksy’s
work has caused him to lose his edge; swapping the controversial for the commercial. His latest work, an immigration-themed piece placed in a current political hotspot, hit back at these critics and sees a return to form for the artistic activist – however, misinterpreted the piece may be. The art work which was removed by the council (before they became aware of its famous and profitable origins) depicted the scene of five surly looking pigeons carrying signs with slogans such as ‘migrants not welcome’ and ‘go back to Africa’, directing their prejudice toward a more exotic bird. The bird in question however, appeared small and vulnerable – a victim in the shadow of discrimination. These anti-immigration remarks are particularly loaded in light of the recent defection of the town’s Tory MP, Douglas Carswell to UKIP. The piece that has been deemed too open to misinterpretation by the council was intended to shed light on the current feeling of mistrust and prejudice throughout Britain and particularly in Clacton-onSea. It seems that the immigration themed piece was a little too close to the bone for the residents of Clacton and that Banksy’s satire has been confused with the reality of situations and attitudes within the town. The council may be able to scrub so-called prejudice from its walls but the stench of the problem still lingers in the air. In Banksy’s career he has strived to push audiences to question the corruption of power and wealth in society, and now with this piece he is urging us to question the attitudes and hate brewing amongst British people. Using juxtaposition of colour and texture, Banksy has masterfully highlighted the xenophobia which is rife and on the rise within the minds of many of British citizens – a fear of ‘otherness’ which threatens to strip a country of all
diversity and the vitality that it brings with it. The hate fuelled pigeons exist within a world of dull, grey tones and a smooth background; representing the self-isolation they inflict upon themselves in an attempt to cast out all that is not traditional and British.
“The piece depicts birds carrying signs with slogans such as ‘migrants not welcome’ and ‘go back to Africa’”
The exotic migrant bird, however, injects colour and vibrancy into the scene; it is apparent that this bird poses no threat and it acts as an enriching factor. The rough texture in which the migrant bird perches fills the majority of the piece, highlighting the sheer size of the issue; a rejection of all otherworldly cultures to retain tradition. Banksy’s work deliberately uses animals and nature to showcase the natural process of free movement throughout the world and the absurdity of the prejudice that is being portrayed in society. The Clacton-on-Sea council has most definitely missed the point of this important piece of street art. Comments made by the council in relation to the events show just how misunderstood Banksy is by the town. In a statement council officials remarked that, ‘We would obviously welcome an appropriate Banksy original on any of our seafronts and would be delighted if he returned in the future’. I for one hope he doesn’t waste his paint. Banksy is not an artist out to create tourist attractions for sea side towns; his work has a serious message that has been seriously ignored by a council that are silencing the voices that question the hatred and prejudice that is taking over their streets.
Daniel Buren: Baltic
A
fter hearing gossip about Daniel Buren’s ‘Catch as catch can: works in situ’ exhibition, I ran down to the Quayside on the closing day, and I’m sure glad I did. The first room of work didn’t once cease to amaze me. A sight specific work, Buren responds to the architectural qualities of the space and transforms it into a perspective-changing experience. Coloured films cover every skylight in the sloping ceiling, enveloping the room in a multicoloured blanket of light. Below, life-sized mirrors are placed at different angles introducing the viewer’s eyes to new dimensions of the room. Initially, I looked straight into the mirrors at the people around me. But once I settled into the space I realised what Buren was
“A perspective-changing experience”
Antigone: Northern Stage
A
classical story of war, loss and violence is transformed into a gripping critique of gang culture in an enthralling interpretation of Antigone. Northern Stage hosted Pilot Theatre’s treatment of the Greek tragedy, which featured a stunning performance by Savannah Gordon-Liburd. The set burst with life in its nightclub setting, with dumpster thrones and CCTV gods. Antigone – or Tig – is seen fighting a battle with the newly crowned Creo over the burial rites of her brother. Subversive and strong, Tig covers her brother’s
“Themes of war, loss and violence are transformed into a gripping critique of gang culture”
trying to achieve. For me, each mirror is an evolving painting. Every step you take, each mirror’s reflection alters. The kaleidoscopic changes open your eyes to angles of the room that you simply can’t experience while walking on level ground; Buren is encouraging you to engage and experiment with the piece. It is an interactive, transitory piece that every spectator will see differently. Buren’s other work didn’t have as much of a wow factor. More down-to-earth than the previous piece, he uses hundreds of LED light strips to create striped, hung drapes that sit against the wall; this is a recurring theme in his work. I found these slightly one dimensional, however, the work he paired it with inspired me. Again challenging your eyes, Buren covered the walls in primary coloured checkered patterns, some raised at angles and coming out of the wall and some simply flat. Like the light piece, this plays with your perceptions and involves your mental engagement.
body with deathly consequences for herself. The challenging gender roles within the pay raise conflict between characters. Masculinity was questioned in the father-son relationship of Creo and Eamon – Eamon rejects his father’s misogynistic and violent view of what a man should be and instead supports the woman he loves. Contrastively, some of the most beautiful scenes were those of the relationship between the sisters Tig and Esme. The sisterhood is complex but real, and love and protection shine through. It was fantastic to see brilliantly talented, young black actors at the forefront of a spectacular performance and hopefully marks a move towards more portrayals of Black British culture in theatre. A heroic female performance by Savannah Gordon-Liburd, she stands by what she believes in and protects her familial love above all else.
Lucy Chenery
Rohan Natashka Kon
The Courier
arts.21
Monday 20 October 2014
thecourieronline.co.uk/arts c2.arts@ncl.ac.uk | @CourierArts
Under the covers T
here’s more to album covers than simply marketing the product; the best covers are works of art which combine aesthetic beauty with a pictorial representation of the music, creating an image that becomes iconic of a bands musical identity. On The Stone Roses (1989), guitarist John Squire depicted the free rhythms and melodies of The Stone Roses’ music with a Jackson Pollock recreation of splayed black and white over green. Its aspect of collage signifies a 60s revival, with images of lemons used by French student protestors as an antidote for teargas in the 1968 May riots. A conceptual artwork in its own right, it borrows from and lends to the music, a counter-cultural spirit.
Gone With The Wind: Laing
G
one With the Wind by Claire Morgan is a truly mesmerising work of art. The installation, at Newcastle’s Laing Art Gallery, is part of the Great North Run’s Great North Culture initiative. The one-piece exhibition is incredibly dramatic. A kittiwake is suspended amongst thousands of delicate wildflower seeds, both materials sourced from the finishing point of the run in South Shields. This gives Gone With the Wind a special provenance.
fection in the power and grace of this Olympian image, and in its inherent ancient mystique, makes it an appropriate cover for an album of robust yet pristine and shimmering 80s pop-rock. Teddy McDonald
“The cover of Flesh and Blood continued a tradition of depicting beautiful models on Roxy Music cover”
“A kittiwake is suspended amongst thousands of delicate wildflower seeds, both materials sourced from the finishing point of the run in South Shields”
Happy Mondays Bummed 1988
“The image perfectly encapsulates the violently dysfunctional yet uplifting and melodious sound” On Bummed (1988), artist Pat Carrol designed the now infamous cover of singer Shaun Ryder’s ecstatic face, animated in garish pink, yellow, green and blue, and emboldened by thick black lines. The image perfectly encapsulates the violently dysfunctional yet uplifting and melodious sound of the Happy Mondays’ sound on this album. The cover of Flesh and Blood (1980) continued a tradition of depicting beautiful models on Roxy Music covers. Their immaculate white dresses, full and windswept blonde hair and bronzed skin are distinguished against an ethereal silver plane, as they stand poised with spears ready to be hurled from the frame into the distance. The Greek per-
The drama of the piece, with the swooping motion of the kittiwake, is countered with a feeling of serenity. The seeds are delicately hung and arranged, and work well with the long and calm space of the gallery to both amaze and sooth the observer. It is beautifully contradictory; it is grand yet delicate. You cannot help but take a step back to admire it all, but then try and get as close as possible to admire the sheer effort and consideration that has been put into creating it. The fact that the piece so rooted in local culture, that people are encouraged to take photographs and share them, is something special. In many ways it is a tribute to the North East and is something to be shared by many people, whether native to the north east or not. Everyone should go along to view Gone With the Wind, and be captivated by it. Jack Parker
Roxy Music Flesh and Blood 1980
The Stone Roses The Stone Roses 1989
All That Is Solid Melts Into Air: Laing
H
oused in the absolutely beautiful Laing Art Gallery, 2004 winner of the Turner Prize Jeremy Deller continues the tour of his exhibition, All That is Solid Melts into Air (directly lifted from Marx’s Communist Manifesto), in Newcastle. An eclectic mix of mediums that include film, music, print and painting, the display takes a look at the lasting effect of the industrial revolution on our modern society. For this collection, Deller claims to have seen himself as a “social archeologist,” using these ephemera of works to show how our indifferent present is only the outcome of our brutal past. And how brutal he shows it to be. One of the pieces, a collection of photos of working women, is merely titled ‘The Shit Old Days’, while the opening piece in the gallery is John Martin’s ‘Destruction of Sodom and Gomorra’, an epic painting showing Lot’s wife seconds before she is turned into a pillar of salt. Deller goes on to make the hefty claim that the glamour of the 1980s and the post-industrial entertainment industry was in direct response to the Industrial Revolution.
L
istening is a collection of work by various artists that invites visitors to explore the installations with both their eyes and ears. This makes for a very different gallery experience, one that allows the individual to interpret the exhibition as they please. It has been stated that this exhibition ‘aims to redress the balance between the visual and sonic’ and achieves this successfully. Concepts of space and reality are challenged as the artists use sound to create illusory effects that redefine how we think about sound and its presence in our daily lives.
“Concepts of space and reality are challenged as the artists use sound to create illusory effects”
However, Deller completely ignores the industry of Great Britain during the War Years, and the important factor that the main creators of culture during the 1980s were the children of the lost generation. While the exhibition is interesting and well put together, it comes off as slightly niche. However, the important aspect of the gallery is the idea that is forces a discussion about one of the most important periods of our history.
One of the pieces, named ‘Follow the Protest’, simply consists of a desk and a telephone. Seemingly mundane, it is only until the phone has been picked up that the piece is revealed. On the phone the visitor listens to various sound clips from the G20 London protests, including chanting and interviews. Even with no visual aspects to this piece it still conveys the passion behind the protests; it explores the emotive power of sound. This exhibition does however raise many questions. Can sound be considered as art? Certainly not in the traditional sense, yet the increased use of sound in contemporary art proves that its potential and value is being recognised. It has also become apparent that the experience of viewing visual art can be greatly enhanced with the accompaniment of sound. Ultimately this exhibition aimed to show that art is not a fixed concept and can be explored in a multitude of ways.
Jack Williams
Grace Melville
“The display takes a look at the lasting effect of the industrial revolution on our modern society”
Drawn: Baltic
Listening: Baltic 39
L
ydia Gifford’s first solo exhibition in the UK, Drawn, is currently being premiered in the Baltic Centre for Contemporary Art in Gateshead. The pieces explore the core theme of the relationship between painting and object. It is a complex theme to get your head around; to a bystander many of the pieces look like a novice decorator’s aborted attempts at painting a wall. Indeed, many of the people who I have taken to see Gifford’s work have expressed confusion or in some cases anger at what I am showing them.
“The paintings and sculptures show a lifetime of art, with the layers peeled back and revealed to unmask the creative process and constant change”
So why is it a difficult exhibition? In part, the works appear very vague, messy, and in some cases cobbled together. But this, I feel, is what Gifford is trying to get at, although in a much subtler way. This is a demonstration of the link between painting and object. The art has been reworked into different objects, for our satisfaction. In some way, they have been reworked into our image, and reflect how we often makeover ourselves throughout our lives, and change to fit in or meet approval. Drawn is the same, the paintings and sculptures show a lifetime of art, with the layers peeled back and revealed to unmask the creative process and constant change.
Jack Parker
22.artsfeature
Monday 20 October 2014
The Courier
The  Quayside
The  Sage,  Gateshead
If you were to venture behind the Sage in Gateshead you would find three imaginative scenes within a trio of arches. Personally it was these colourful murals that caught my imagination - an amusing scene of a pink octopus poking fun at a beached whale and, the most strikingly of the three, an electric blue triceratops Transformer. Many conclusions could be drawn from this image, but I read it as a comment about the threatening and aggressive nature of the corporate world. Furthermore perhaps it expresses a fear of progress and how the advancements in technology and large organisations will eventually create a monster.
The Quayside, however, contains less impressive art work: an attempt at a Count Dracula face, a cartoon dog and several tags that didn’t stand out or come across as particularly ‘creative’. The contrast between the graffiti at the Quay and that found and discussed elsewhwere begin to pose the question “where’s the line between art and vandalism?�. Do I really want my city to be polluted by a signature on the side of a building - shouting out at passers by without any productive or thought provoking messages?
Arts  Editor  Becka  Crawshaw  surveys  the  public  Arts  Editor Becka  Crawshaw surveys  the  public  FDQYDVHV RI 1HZFDVWOH DQG DVNV ZKHWKHU WKH JUDIÂż WL on  show  is  legit  street  art  or  straight-Âup  vandalism
6KLHOGÂż HOG After encountering a couple of tags we learnt that it is home to a spaceman, a narcotics user and a faceless man struggling to find work. The patent image of the homeless refugee is also very relevant to political and social issues that invade our news columns and headlines everyday. An Iconic image that sadly fails to shock its audience but is always at the back of our minds and social conscience.
The Courier
tvfeature.23
Monday 20 October 2014
8 reasons to love Twin Peaks
&UHDWRUV 'DYLG /\QFK DQG 0DUN )URVW UHFHQWO\ FRQ¿ UPHG WKH UHWXUQ RI WKH FXOW V 79 VKRZ Culture Editor Kate Bennett looks at why the original run captured the hearts and imaginations of millions The soundtrack The setting The chills The innovation Today it’s difficult to understand exactly how revolutionary Twin Peaks was back in 1990. Back then, television drama – especially crime drama was staid and formulaic, spoon-feeding audiences what they expected to see. When the first episode hit screens, people assumed they were in for a pretty straightforward murder mystery show – but this ain’t no Murder, She Wrote. Though ostensibly a show about a murder investigation, Twin Peaks never seemed to get any closer to solving the case, taking long detours into characters’ personal lives and delving into everything from UFOs to Eastern mysticism. It infused its basic premise with tropes and plotlines from all kinds of genres, seamlessly blending horror, sci-fi, the supernatural and gritty underworld crime with comedy, romance, teen drama and corny soap-opera, multifarious strands twisting together to make a rich, unforgettable yarn. Nowadays, TV tends to be more exciting, experimental and conversation-generating than film – but trace the root of our current ‘golden age’ of telly back and you’ll arrive back at Twin Peaks, its wacky experimentation and unwillingness to take the easy, commercial option. Without it, we’d have no X Files, no Lost, no The Killing – we’d still be watching Diagnosis: Murder (perish the thought).
Twin Peaks is genuinely, properly scary. In your average crime drama, you might get a bit of gore during an autopsy and a moment of fright when someone gets their skull caved in with a blunt instrument. Twin Peaks hardly relies on the murder itself at all for the spooks – the terror comes mostly from the sinister supernatural element that hangs over the town like a toxic mist. Demonic possessions, sudden apparitions, surreal dreams and unnerving visions haunt the town and its inhabitants, leaving a trail of mysterious clues, symbols and code phrases that bewilder viewers and gradually contribute to the sense that something is very, very wrong in the vicinity of this small Washington town. The final denouement of the show is a masterclass in dizzying, disorientating television, and the last scene is one of the most chilling of all, ending Twin Peaks on a cliffhanger with terrifying implications that’s kept people in a state of curiosity and frustration for 23 years.
The style Like many of Lynch’s films, Twin Peaks is full of sharp-suited men and old-school screen sirens, only here they’re tempered by a folksy lumbertown vibe that involves a lot of plaid, corduroy and sobad-it’s-good knitwear – think 1940s and 50s noir filtered through the lens of the early 1990s. Special Agent Dale Cooper and the other FBI investigators are unbelievably damn dapper in their identical black suits, crisp white shirts, poker-straight ties and spotless cream macs, while the girls of the town are ivory-skinned, red-lipped pin-up goddesses with clouds of voluminous woke-up-likedis hair and perfectly filled-in eyebrows - whether they’re the Double R Diner blondes in their neat green uniforms and so-on-point chunky cardigans, or the dark-haired high school girls in pencil skirts and demure jumpers. The men of the town favour a more earthy James Dean-meets-Western aesthetic that is very 2014 – think tartan shirts, bomber and biker jackets, and fitted Tshirts with rolled sleeves - or else excel at p r i nt - c l a s h i n g their shirts and ties. Special shout-outs for Tommy Hawk’s slicked-back manbob and single dangly earring – anticipating Made In Chelsea’s Proudlock by about 20 years - and to Josie Packard’s sleek pixie cut, smoky makeup and ultra-chic style combo of sexy blouses worn with perfectly tailored trousers. Fabulous.
The humour Twin Peaks is stuffed with characters who are deeply bizarre and deeply hilarious, enhancing the weird undercurrent that runs beneath the town’s old-timey surface. In the town itself we have the Log Lady, who carries round a log and believes it talks to her; Andy Brennan, the dimwitted deputy sheriff who spends his time worrying about his ‘sperms’ count and provides awkward physical comic relief; Nadine Hurley, the eyepatch-wearing housewife who’s obsessed with creating silent drape-runners – almost everyone in town seems to have their own little foibles. Even Leland Palmer and Ben Horne’s nervous breakdowns mix the tragic with the comic – see Palmer’s inappropriate renditions of showtunes and Horne’s fervid belief that he’s taking part in the American Civil War, reenacted in his hotel hall with the aid of a stuffed horse on wheels. The funniest character of all is found in Gordon Cole, played by Lynch himself – a deaf FBI regional chief who shouts everything he says in a blithely matter-of-fact tone (“YOU ARE WITNESSING A FRONT THREE-QUARTER VIEW OF TWO ADULTS SHARING A TENDER MOMENT!”) and comes out with the best non-sequiturs (“Cooper. You remind me today of a small Mexican Chihuahua”).
You can’t talk about Twin Peaks without mentioning Angelo Badalamenti’s iconic theme tune – serene and unhurried as it plays out over opening credits of gushing waterfalls and grinding sawmill machinery, its swelling orchestral melody is more like something from a cheesy daytime soap than a twisted psychological thriller. Even people who’ve never watched or even heard of the show recognize the theme tune from somewhere, such is its pervasive presence in popular culture. There’s something kind of corny and soapy about the soundtrack as a whole – twangy and Pink Pantherish whenever someone’s getting up to no good, soaring and unashamedly heart-tugging in moments of emotion. It’s old-fashioned feel is incredibly effective at establishing the kind of sleepy town Twin Peaks is, making the show’s horror-inflected plotline and atmosphere so much more poignant and so much more shocking.
The doughnuts
Oh my god, you guys, the doughnuts. If nothing else, Twin Peaks is basically doughnut porn dressed up as a TV show.
Twin Peaks is an everyone-knows-everyone lumber town in the back of beyond, the kind of place where catching an unusually large fish is frontpage news in the local paper. Its blend of rustic cosiness and foreboding bleakness perfectly reflect the small town innocence-meets-twisted evil of the storyline itself; the dark Ghostwood forest, empty, winding roads and run-down cabins hint at the horror and seediness below the surface, while the folksy neighbourliness allows Lynch and Frost to symbolically strip back the townsfolks’ layers of respectability and expose the darkness at the heart of mans’ soul. Every set is carefully thought out and beautifully dressed – from the Happy Days styling of the Double R Diner to the creepy gloom of the house where agoraphobic Harold Smith lives with his collection of orchids, who almost seem to spectate on the action like a crowd of silent, leafy sentinels. Then, of course, there’s the Black Lodge – one of the most memorable and unsettling locations in TV history, a hellish vision of translucent red curtains, eerily empty spaces, dimension-defying rooms and iconic zig-zagged floor. Probably not one for the bedroom inspiration Pinterest board, tbh.
The sex-appeal
From vampy Lolita-esque schoolgirl Audrey Horne - a shameless flirt who can ties cherry stalks in a knot with her tongue and takes it upon herself to save the family business - to steely businesswoman Katherine Martell - a glamorous matriarch in the Joan Collins mould who’ll go to ingenious lengths to get what she wants - the town of Twin Peaks boasts an awful lot of sultry femmes fatales who ooze self-assurance and wrap the men around their manicured little fingers. Even the apparently drippy demeanours of Donna Hayward and Josie Packard conceal seductive wellpools of darkness and deception, while beneath Lucy Moran’s quirky, frilly-collared exterior is a woman who takes no bullshit and pits her male admirers against each like a Roman emperor at a gladiatorial event. Among the men are a host of rugged backwoods hunks who go around hitting things and staring intently into distances, from moody James-Dean-with-a-buzzcut biker boy James Hurley to floppyhaired ex-con Hank Jennings, a seething mass of malice in a leather jacket. All in all, there’s more smouldering than you can shake a fireplace poker at.
24.tvhighlights
Monday 20 October 2014
The Courier
TV Editors: Helen Daly and Ellie McLaren Online TV Editor: Rebecca Dooley
I can’t even I Can’t Even is our new column where writers share the TV tropes they just can’t get their heads around. This week, TV Editor Helen Daly talks American remakes
I
t’s that age old debate: British or American TV? Well, maybe it’s not age old, but it’s a prevalent debate in today’s society, especially with the sudden increase of American dramas and sitcoms filling our Sky Plus planners. If you had asked me to answer that question a few years ago, I would have firmly and a little smugly, presented my argument for British television. Ask me the same question now, admittedly I would probably still choose Blighty, with American TV coming a close second. Thanks to shows like Breaking Bad and Game of Thrones, American television has become a staple of people’s scheduling. Likewise, British shows have increased in popularity over the pond; Doctor Who and Sherlock have spawned huge fandoms and are doing well in the US, with fans travelling over to the UK to watch their beloved shows being filmed.
“It shouldn’t matter where our TV comes from; as long as it’s fun, original and gripping, I really don’t care”
What I’m trying to say is that it shouldn’t matter where our TV is coming from; as long as it’s fun, original and gripping, I really don’t care. But I draw the line at remakes. My issue with this is not new, but it has peaked over recent weeks with the news of a Broadchurch remake. One of my favourite dramas of the past years, Broadchurch was not only a hit with Detective fans, but it was critically acclaimed and won many awards. The show was exported to the States a couple of weeks after it was aired in the UK and was well-received. However, weeks after the success, it was revealed that it would be remade in America, this time called Gracepoint, starring Anna Gunn and most annoyingly, David Tennant. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m a fan of David Tennant; his portrayal of the tormented DI Alec Hardy shed a new light on the figure of the Detective by giving him a genuine back-story. But from the trailers, it appears that DI Alec Hardy has gained an American accent. Casting the same actor in the same role, but changing the accent seems a little bit too much effort to me. Would it not still work if the actor kept their own accent, or would it not work even better if an American actor of the same capabilities of Tennant was cast in the lead role? Judging by the trailers, the show looks pretty much shot-for-shot the same. This begs the question: why go to the effort making the exact same show when the perfectly good, award-winning original is available to watch? I’m not saying that all American remakes are bad; The US Office is a great example of how American remakes can work really well. The show is different enough to warrant being known as its own show, separate to Gervais’ original. So I guess that is the point I’m trying to get at; shows need to be original, otherwise what would be the point of them? I don’t want to watch a show that I’ve already seen before; I want to see something that’s going to capture my imagination. That’s the beauty of the small screen; it’s always evolving so why must show writers resort to repeating ideas? There’s a whole world out there guys, go and film it.
Continue the debate online: thecourieronline.co.uk/tv
The Apprentice BBC1, Wednesday, 9pm
A
fter a year of furious Twittering and being an important businessman, Lord Sugar has recruited a fresh set of victims to battle it out for a cash injection of £250,000. The Countdown Conundrum that is Nick Hewer joins Karen Brady in offering up some steely glares and disapproving nods to our candidates. What’s changed? Will the candidates have any common sense? Will Karen smile? No, of course not. There are however, now twenty applicants instead of the staple sixteen meaning more cracking quotes and shouty voices in the boardroom. “Out of every 10 people I walk past on the street I think I’m better looking than 9 of them”. It wouldn’t be The Apprentice without a few chancers and wannabe-GQ cover-stars. It’s funny, yet sad to imagine the likes of Sanjay Sood-Smith believing that their
chiselled chin or generous hairline will have any bearing on their boardroom success. Daniel Lassman, whose online preview shows him sporting a selfie-perfected pout, thinks “there are no tactics needed when you’re complete in the world of business”. It seems Dan the Man has it all worked out without needing a cool quarter of a million. I’d love to see him on the end of a Sugar-coated lesson in boardroom banter.
“If we went to Mars right now, I’d find a way to be excellent”. Meet Steven Ugoalah; a man who clearly believes that his cosmological ambitions will help him avoid the end of Alan’s furious finger. Not to be outdone, Ella Jade Bitton fancies herself as a
new-age philosopher: “the future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams”. Try remembering that when your team’s sausage-making venture ends up looking decidedly mincy. I wonder if we’ll ever see a candidate who walks the walk, talks the talk, and is a ruddy good business guru without seeming like a total numpty. Lindsay Booth could be the underdog and use her short business experience to tell the bulldogs from the bullshitters. Say a few words for Mackem Katie, who’s master plan is “to let them underestimate ‘us’.” I can’t help but fear that we could see Katie make an early trip back to the North East amidst a frenzy of testosterone and ultra-bitchiness. The Apprentice has been more or less faithful to its original, deliciously gripping format for nigh on ten years through a shameful strategy of numptyhoarding . You’re guaranteed to witness squabbles, catastrophes, and a healthy dose of puns from Lord Sugar. Here’s to three months of successful nincompoops trying desperately hard to seem less silly than all the other nincompoops. David Naylor
Made In Chelsea
Homeland
“It’s sad to imagine the likes
of Sanjay believing that their chiselled chin or generous hairline will have any bearing on their boardroom success”
Gotham
Channel 5, Monday, 9pm
A
s is always the case with any superhero review, I must first express that I am a superhero sycophant, which means I have to reign in my biased-towards-anything-costumed side and let the critic fly. So with that in mind, how did the first episode of Gotham hold up? For all the excitement and hullabaloo surrounding Gotham the first episode only really struck me as one thing: bland, sadly. Ben McKenzie makes a dashing protagonist as Jim Gordon, the attractive and mushy in the middle “tough guy” detective (with an excellent jawline). However, everything feels a bit derivative; Harvey Bullock is reminiscent of Gene Hunt and the detective elements scream CSI: Gotham. Gotham is comparable to Agents of Shield, too, in that it’s not daring enough to bring out any bad-ass characters so instead we’re stuck with Jada Pinkett Smith as Fish Mooney, an dangerous character, but definitely no Scarecrow. All these influences are good influences, but mixed together they don’t stick together well and the show ends up lacking. But, like anything, Gotham has elements that make it worth watching. The plot seems well paced, Pertwee’s Alfred Pennyworth is a sarcastic-bastard breath of fresh air and I’m curious to see how Taylor’s Penguin will go from crooked wimp to monocle-clad pimp throughout the series. As DC is flinging pilot shows at networks like a monkey with comic-shaped poop, it stands to reason that one of them might come off a bit dull; with Arrow & The Flash storming CW, they have a lot on their plate. It’s a shame they had to make everything bloody grey again… damn you Nolan! David Leighton
Channel 4, Sunday, 9pm
E4, Monday, 9pm
M
ade in Chelsea is finally back on our screens, returning to its original 9pm Monday slot on E4. The cast are back in SW1, but the drama from their trip to New York hasn’t been left behind- as Binky quite frankly puts it in the season 8 trailer, ‘what happens in New York doesn’t stay in New York’. The new season is fixed to set the ball rolling for MIC’s newest (and frankly most peculiar) pairing, Lucy and Proudlock. It’s expected that Lucy’s ex, Jamie, who was left feeling more than dejected at the news of the romance, is going to have something to say about it. Elsewhere, heartbreak is on the agenda for returning cast member Andy as his ex, Louise, introduces her holiday romance, Alik, onto the Chelsea scene. To add to the madness, three new faces are set to join the gang this season, including Lucy’s younger sister Tiff, and two of Alex’s university pals, Will and Lonan, both whom work in the personal training industry. Tiff is said to be a keen socialite and shares a close bond with her big sis – will it be rivalry or unity for the pair? Who knows what’s on the cards for the two new chaps, maybe they’ll give renowned ladies-man Spencer Matthews a run for his money. “After an exciting summer in New York, the cast are back to Chelsea with a bang,” says MIC’s executive producer Sarah Dillistone. “With three new cast members thrown into the mix, expect even more drama, rivalries and jaw dropping storylines for series eight.” Jade Holroyd
T
he past year has been a torturous series of Homeland-deprived moments of nothingness for avid fans of the American CIA thriller like me. And after such a shocking ending to the third season, who could resist tuning in to the Season Four? Even if it is just to confirm that the show is nothing without Damian Lewis. Homeland’s audience has been brutally ripped into two after the killing off of Sergeant Brody, and consequently the addictive love affair between him and Carrie, last season. While half of us mourn the end of what started off as such a brilliant premise for a TV show – the will he/won’t he blow himself up storyline of Season One was just too tense, as was the depiction of Carrie’s confused affection towards Brody – the other half breathes a sigh of relief as we can finally say goodbye to the Brody family, and in particular, Dana bloody Brody and her pointless existence in the show:,instead returning to the action-packed life of Carrie Mathison: saving the world one terrorist at a time. Personally, I’m sitting painfully on the fence between these two camps, so much so I’m starting to get splinters. Without question, I will be tuning in to watch the new season, but I really don’t know what to expect, or if I’ll be able to watch a full season without Brody. How is Carrie going to be saving the world with a baby cradled in her arms? How is she going to fair in the CIA without the protection of Saul? And what the hell is going on with the Peter Quinn every time he is in the same room as Carrie? We want answers (and lots more of Carrie’s crying face, please). Ellie McLaren
The Courier
featurestv.25
Monday 20 October 2014
thecourieronline.co.uk/tv c2.tv@ncl.ac.uk | @courier_tv
Top of the canon, or scraping the barrel? Our writers detail the best, and worst, literary adaptations in TV history Pride and Prejudice Normally, when a book is adapted into a film or a television series, the casting directors never seem to be able to match up to the images of the characters readers create in their own head, prioritising famous and beautiful actors over those who truly embody the personalities of the characters. However, for some reason this series contains a magic that means that almost every actor is perfectly matched to their character- Elizabeth Bennet has the ‘fine eyes’ and cheeky smile and Wickham has a perfect creepy charm. However, I think most Austen fans (and in fact all heterosexual woman), will agree that damp- shirted Colin Firth is the man who makes the series. He smoulders throughout every scene he’s in, perfectly portraying Darcy as the outwardly snobbish, and yet privately thoughtful, love struck and frankly slightly sexually frustrated man he really is. He manages to convey a plethora of emotions through his expressive brown eyes. My favourite scene is where he silently expresses his gratitude to Elizabeth for her kindness towards his sister Georgiana through one twinkling gaze. All in all, I think this adaptation is downright perfect, although maybe my quite embarrassing Colin crush is rose tinting my view. Alice Ellen Fishman
Orange Is The New Black Three days: that’s how long it took me to watch the second series of Orange is the New Black earlier this year. When the withdrawal symptoms started kicking in, I turned to the book the show is based on – Orange is the New Black: My Time in a Women’s Prison, by Piper Kerman, a true-story account. It took me weeks to finish reading it. Unfortunately, true stories sometimes just don’t make for captivating television. All of the major and interesting parts of the show are almost nonexistent in the book. Gone are the vivid backstories of the characters; most of the time we are left confused about who is who. Your favourite character probably isn’t even in the book. Basically, everything that makes us love the show is missing from the book. If you are a fan of the book, you probably will think the show has butchered it. The political undertones that make the book inspiring are replaced with raunchy shower scenes and the love-triangle between Piper, her ex, and her fiancé – even though they didn’t appear anywhere in the book. Although a worthwhile and thought-provoking read, don’t go into the book with expectations of it being anything like the show. If you loved the book, the show probably isn’t for you either. Drew Baxter
Game of Thrones Many of you probably have by now read, seen, or heard, of the phenomenon that is Game of Thrones by George R.R Martin. Famous for its success in the best seller lists, just what is it that makes the TV adaptation not an Eragon-esque flop? The TV series is based on the original fictional series ‘A Song of Ice and Fire’, clearly stated in the title sequence suggesting there’ll be clear links. The fact that the books are being made into a series rather than a film saga aids the success of the franchise, especially when trying to accommodate such an intricate plot to please the fans. A time limited film would have been a recipe for disaster and resulted in omission of vital scenes and even plot lines. Game of Thrones therefore does not suffer from this and as far as I have read, the TV series stays true to the books. It must also be noted that George R.R Martin, though responsible for killing off almost everyone’s favourite characters, is dedicated to his fans and has told the script writers his plans for his unwritten books, in case of his untimely demise. That is forward planning to a new level, and as a fan of the show I am very grateful for it. Kassie Hopewell
Birdsong I actually saw the 2012 TV adaptation of Sebastian Faulks’ novel Birdsong before I read the book. Watching the lush, visual epic that the BBC presented spurred me on to read Faulks’ novel, and I’m so glad I did. Although the unusual format of two ninetyminute episodes allowed just the right space for the sprawling, romantic plotline to play out, it did restrict the narrative, indeed even cutting out a whole section narrated in the 1970s. Upon reading the novel later, I was surprised to find that the sections that had been cropped seemed essential on looking back; I would have missed them, had I been familiar with the book when I watched the adaptation. The visual effect was captured beautifully in the adaptation, however, bringing Faulks’ vivid description of the horrors of the trenches to life, and juxtaposing that perfectly with the quiet civilisation of verdant French tea parties. Most importantly, the characters I adored in the book, Isabelle and Stephen, were exquisitely captured and portrayed, and the chemistry between actors Clemence Poesy and Eddie Redmayne was palpable. Abi Morgan’s delicate and emphatic screenplay even managed to rescue some of the most intensely strange sex scenes I’ve ever read. Although both versions of the narrative have their strengths, for a blast of historical and emotional escapism, rather than a pretty heart-breaking (and long) read, the TV adaptation’s the answer. Leila Nashef
Gossip Girl Endless parties, endless drama between the young and privileged on Manhattan’s Upper East Side in New York City. What could be a more attractive and thrilling concept to create a TV show? And yet the original Gossip Girl firstly was a young adult novel series written by Cecily von Ziegesar which later turned into a mega popular TV drama; although can it be called a literary adaptation anymore? The story lines of the series was so far from the book’s original plot that directors started calling the book only an inspiration for their work. The main concept however stays the same: we follow the lives of Blair and Serena narrated by the mysterious blogger “Gossip Girl” which makes their life even more complicated than it is. Nonetheless introducing new minor characters each season and overlapping story lines makes you forget that it is actually a book adaption; even the main question of ‘who is Gossip Girl’ was answered differently in the show than it was in a book. What I personally believe was the positive difference from the novel that the TV show achieved, it stepped away from a teen story cliché and touched “adult” issues like financial crisis and deep family dramas that are not always the most attractive for young readers. “You know you love me” – says Gossip Girl at the end of each episode. And that is true. This literary adaptation of a book was an immediate hit. Kotryna Kairyte
Elementary When we think of modernised Sherlock Holmes, only one adaptation comes to mind. Sherlock depicts Holmes in the 21st century. There’s another modernised Sherlock Holmes show – Elementary, or a US Sherlock. The only good thing about the show is Jonny Lee Miller’s portrayal of Holmes (and some supporting cast). Plot-wise, nothing is borrowed from the source material, instead relying on recycled plots found in every US crime drama. What about the characters? Despite JLM being a brilliant Holmes, his character is rather hit-and-miss. Joan Watson is a complete failure. This has nothing to do with the gender-swap; she is Watson in name only and has very little resemblance. In fact, that’s a good way to describe Elementary. Change the names of the characters and you’d never tell it was meant to be based off the Conan Doyle stories. Haaris A M Qureshi
Diary of a TV Addict Hannah Bunting
W
inter is coming... But first, September. Leaves are changing, the nights creep ever closer, and students flood onto the university campus, eager as the proverbial beavers to begin the new academic year. And all of this is nothing compared to the towering, colossal calendar event which truly characterises the onset of autumn, the great shining beacon on the horizon that sustains us across the summer months: September is the month the shows come back. For the TV Addict, the summer holidays are a form of strange and unusual torture. After one final, glorious flood of jaw-dropping, heart-pounding season finales, our supply is cut off. Nothing left to fall back on but Heartbeat and Murder, She Wrote. Caviar to tinned tuna. Not all fandoms are created equal, and some of us wait longer than others. Introducing any friend, foe or family member to BBC’s Sherlock is tantamount to getting them hooked on hard drugs: a few weeks of toe-curling excitement while they work through the backlog of episodes; growing horror as they discover that, yes, Gatiss and Moffat can make us wait two years for a new season without being hunted down by a lynch mob of fans; then the agonizingly long process of rehabilitation, weaning the brain off its preoccupation with Belstaffs, and Benedict. Temper tantrums and withdrawal symptoms aside, the hiatus is a trade in: quality TV takes time, and nowadays we expect more than wobbly sets and cardboard aliens. It’s not merely about technological advances, either; TV is crossing social and conceptual boundaries cinema blockbusters don’t dare touch. These shows aren’t background noise in the living room anymore. They demand our full attention.
“Introducing any friend, foe or family member to BBC’s Sherlock is tantamount to getting them hooked on hard drugs” Canadian smash-hit Orphan Black is the perfect example of patience rewarded. One woman portraying no less than ten different characters and pulling off a pretty reasonable English accent should fall apart like a mountain of wet tissue paper. It doesn’t. Star (and co-star) Maslany has the talent to pull it off, of course, but it’s an unimaginable amount of pressure for those of us convinced that 9 o’clock lectures are a form of legalised torture. Since the meteoric rise to fame of the two lead actors of Sherlock, the BBC show is faced with the added difficulty of having to work filming around the schedules of Cumberbatch and Freeman, both of whom have proven the ability of TV actors to make the jump to the big screen (and vice versa). As tempting as it is to imagine the creators of our shows cackling madly as they cross days off on the calendar, the hiatus is more a case of give-andtake than a hostage situation with our favourite shows. As every student ever to apply for an essay extension knows, good art takes time. Whoever said our generation doesn’t understand the value of patience?
26.filmfeatures features
Monday 20 October 2014
The Courier
Film Editors: ditors: Rosie Rosie Bellini, Lucas Fothergill & David Leighton
Pleasure Island
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ow does one follow up Donnie Darko? The general consensus would almost universally be, “Not Southland Tales!” I disagree strongly. Richard Kelly’s sophomore directorial feature, Southland Tales is a film that never takes itself seriously. It’s a film of multi-stranded narratives within a unique alternate reality; nuclear strikes in Texas trigger a security lockdown in the US, forcing drastic changes in energy usage and international warfare. This dark dystopia may sound satirical but the result is wilfully silly and messy, setting the stage for an amnesiac actor, a porn star, a group of anarchists and a dancing Justin Timberlake to clash in increasingly convoluted ways.
he translation of young adult novels into big screen blockbusters has always been a steady draw for viewers and with 2014 seeing the adaptations of John Green’s The Fault In Our Stars, Veronica Roth’s Divergent and of course the third instalment of The Hunger Games trilogy, it’s safe to say the phenomenon shows no signs of stopping. “It’s a chance to fall in love with the characters all over again when readers can see the books come to life,” Erin Setelius of the YA Book Addicts blog said. “It’s like a little reward for loving the books.” The idea behind film adaptations is, after all, to give readers a new opportunity to walk through their favourite world. So what exactly is it about these young adult novels which translates so well into film? Certainly in the case of Harry Potter, Twilight and The Hunger Games the novels’ popularity lies not within their eloquent prose or well-structured dialogue, but rather in the unique nature of their storyline which is precisely what the transfer to the cinema
“Nine times out of ten, I tend to penalise films for being narrative and tonal messes, yet this is what Southland Tales is all about”
Nine times out of ten, I tend to penalise films for being narrative and tonal messes, yet that is what Southland Tales is all about. One storyline concerns Dwayne Johnson’s paranoid actor and Sarah Michelle Gellar’s existentialist porn star writing a script predicting the apocalypse. Needless to say their screenplay is complete hokum, but when Southland Tales takes the same route Kelly’s film transforms into meta-madness, becoming a selfreflective exercise in silliness. When a plot about monkeys in the fourth dimension is introduced, it’s impossible not to be swept along by the insanity.
I can’t fathom taking this film as a serious statement about warfare’s and national security’s future. Kelly never demands that of you. It’s a celebration of all messes great and small, using a stunt ensemble to increase its ambitious reach. When The Rock was still The Rock, he gave what is possibly his best performance. Still possessing a hard-man aesthetic, Johnson plays up an oddly terrified side of himself, fiddling with his fingers throughout in one of many nervous tics. His transformation is hilarious, reflecting the film’s tone wonderfully. A crazy cameo from Justin Timberlake fares similarly well in an impromptu dance number to ‘All These Things That I’ve Done’ by The Killers. At one point the camera gets flipped the finger in a particularly memorable sequence that demonstrates what Southland Tales is about: gently insulting the audience by giving them incoherence and self-indulgence at its peak. But when you can meet it halfway, you can laugh along with Southland Tales. There’s certainly never been anything like it before, and I doubt there will be again. Nothing else has had the gall to be like it. Kelly has created a roaring success of sprawling entertainment that is to be taken with an entire shaker of salt. Bravo. Simon Ramshaw
has captured. The fantasy world which these three novels depict is also visually projected onto the viewer, allowing them to witness and engage with it in a way that the reader can only imagine.
“The idea behind film adaptations is, after all, to give readers a new opportunity to walk through their favourite world”
One of the biggest challenges of adapting a book for the screen is deciding what stays, what goes and how those pages will translate in a film. Certainly in the case of many young adult novels, the authors have exercised creative control over the film’s production in order to make sure it stays as faithful to the book as possible. Film adaptations of young adult novels are therefore largely successful in condensing and reworking elements of the story, whilst still maintaining its essence and emotional ties. The success of these film adaptations is extremely advantageous to the bookselling market. The translation from book-to-film builds a franchise in the process and consequently increases the popularity of the original novel, encouraging rather than
Heck nah T
he idea of your favourite young adult novel being brought to the big screen is one which can send fans into fits of tears. I am no exception. But my tears are those of horror. Focus groups of thirteen-year-olds have the industry convinced that a post-apocalyptic story line, some good looking romantic interests and the ‘young adult fiction’ stamp is now all that’s needed to make an adaptation. However as recent failures will tell you, the formula clearly isn’t working. I hate the term ‘Young Adult’. It immediately evokes images of spotty youths weeping over how Edward Cullen ‘gets them’. Although I still consider myself a spotty youth, I am now 21 and my days of Team Edward are thankfully far behind me. That being said, I am happy to spend my weekends unironically reading the entire Divergent series for the seventh time and then take quizzes on Buzzfeed to decide what faction I would be in (Amity, if you’re interested). But like it or not, to most people young adult means childish. As the new surge in popularity brings a new young adult film every other week, this has proved to be something of a self fulfilling prophecy, in spite of much of the source material containing ‘grown up’ themes. The Hunger Games is the perfect example of this. The book consisted of Katniss’ struggle to survive in the shocking dystopian society but the film is incredibly toned down considering its content. As a result we miss the horror and atrocity that the trilogy is centred around and lose the urgency and desperation of the narrative, and by extension the essence of what the
book was about. Similar problems occur in the Harry Potter series from Goblet of Fire onwards. There’s romance and relationships where there were previously none, there are characters cut and storylines dissolved, and good old JK’s delicate, beautiful scenes are swapped for yet another shot of Seamus Finnegan blowing himself up.
“I hate the term ‘Young Adult’. It evokes images of spotty youths weeping over how Edward Cullen ‘gets them’”
There is so much depth to Rowling’s books that as soon as they start to grow in length you’d need a Lord of the Rings-esque film trilogy to do each one justice, and unfortunately it’s the interesting details that are the first to go. This results in total abandonment of the laws and parameters of the world, which is just how accidents happen - the blowing up of the Burrow? I have no words.
dissuading young adults to read. Take The Hunger Games books, for example, which sold 9.2 million copies in 2011. This number tripled in 2012 following the box office success of the Lionsgate film and has now sold over 65 million copies in the U.S alone. Celebrity chef Jamie Oliver stated that after having taken his children to see the film’s sequel Catching Fire, he was inspired to delve into the book, despite at the age of 38 having “never read a book” in his life.
“Jamie Oliver stated that the film Catching Fire inspired him to read the book, despite never having read a book in his life”
The popularity of such franchises thus makes them accessible for a much wider audience. Whilst the average adult may feel embarrassed trawling through the ‘teenage fiction’ section in Waterstones, the adaptation of the book into film means that they can still engage with the story, just in a slightly different way. Charlotte Callaghan
In the films, Dumbledore’s exchanges with Harry regarding Voldemort’s past consist mostly of ‘he went off the rails, he has some horcruxes, be a good boy and get rid of them.’ I am also yet to find out how Deathly Hallows - arguably the best book in the series - produced such mind numbingly boring films. As much as I enjoyed watching a grumpy ragtag gang walk around what looked like the establishing shots from BBC’s Coast, where was Kreacher’s storyline, or Lupin’s? Where was its heart? It had been traded in some sort of demonic pact with Warner Brothers for a scene where Harry and Hermione dance. Delightful, but I’d rather have JK’s writing thanks. Unfortunately, these books are now so numerous that producers have forgotten what makes a novel work and it feels like the adaptation has been made before they’ve finished the first chapter. It isn’t the easily transferable plot lines of ‘good wizard kills bad wizard’ or the ever popular, ‘good looking teen challenges society’ that immortalise these books, it’s their depths and intricacies, and regrettably they never seem to make it to the screen. Rebecca Harrison
The Courier
reviewsfilm.27
Monday 20 October 2014
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“There is no spoon” - The Matrix (1999)
Movie
Pride (15)
Max
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New Hollywood
cry at films, I just do. You could say that’s a testament to my powers of empathy and that I can’t help but connect with fictional characters on a profound level. Or you could say that I’m a wuss. Either works. So I wasn’t surprised that I cried at Pride, but I was surprised at almost everything else. Pride tells the story of a 1980s London community of gay people who claim a kinship with the miners striking against Thatcher’s government. Mark Ashton (Ben Schnetzer), an iconic figure from the gay rights movement of the era, points out to his ragtag band of homosexuals that the strikes and the gay pride movement have plenty in common, and that both are fighting the same struggle, albeit with a different face. The group, styling themselves as LGSM (Lesbians and Gays Support the Miners) fundraise and send money to a Welsh union of striking miners and are invited, after much deliberation, to visit the village by way of thanks. The two cultures clash with an uneasy shuffle, and there are many nail-biting moments where the audience fear for the safety of the unusual visitors. The cast was deliberately and emphatically an ensemble; no one character was a true lead. The quiet unassuming lad from Bromley (George MacKay) who got caught up in this world of sequins and coal-dust acted as an audience surrogate entering the gay community. At the other end of the spectrum, the heart-rending couple Gethin and
Jonathan, played by Andrew Scott and a spectacularly flamboyant Dominic West, respectively demonstrated the toll taken by decades of abuse and intolerance from the wider community. New faces glittered with potential on the British drama scene with Faye Marsay as Northern punk lesbian Steph and Jessica Gunning as a powerhouse of Welsh hospitality and kindness. Occasionally the regional accents were a little off the mark, but the rolling scenes of stunning Welsh countryside and the strength of the cast overall counteracted any lack of authenticity quite efficiently. To my surprise, this was no Richard-Curtisstyle tearjerker. This was a film that held its roots
in the most honest of sources; history. It told the true story of two lonely and subjugated societies finding strength in one another, the story of a great and overwhelming power that people have but rarely use; the power to understand. I was moved because, in an era of UKIP and low voting attendance, in an era where the old and established are setting the futures of the young in concrete, this film reminded me that ordinary people could connect with each other and change things for the better. Or at least try to. I was moved because I missed an era I have never known. Go see it.
Gone Girl (18)
Dracula Untold (12A)
Lucy (15)
Taxi Driver
Leila Nashef
F
ollowing Vietnam veteran and all-round sociopath Travis Bickle (Robert DeNiro) as he descends into madness within the hell of 1970s New York, Martin Scorsese’s breakout film explores the fine line between vigilante hero and homicidal maniac. In its examination of anger and alienation, the film encapsulates many of the thematic principles that can be considered symptomatic of the period. The following recommendations are all loosely connected by their explorations of isolation, paranoia and nihilism.
Andrew Beadling recommends: The Long Goodbye
“M
arriage is a hard work”, writes Amy Dunne (Rosamund Pike) in her enigmatic diary in the latest thriller by David Fincher (Fight Club) which is just as psychologically dark and twisted as all his previous works. Fincher shows us what we do not want to see, exposing the impossibility of idealistic married life that leaves us exiting the cinema with a sickening after-taste. Whatever message he tries to deliver, he completely hits the mark and Gone Girl is no exception. We start with a contemporary story of ‘ordinary guy’ and failed writer Nick Dunne (Ben Affleck) who finds a table smashed and his wife missing on their fifth wedding anniversary. The search for ‘Amazing Amy’ begins and the audience are pulled between the romantic past and the cold present, growing increasingly uncomfortable with newfound discoveries. The bestselling writer of the same name it the writer Gillian Flynn intelligently interweaves her gloomy, cynical questions about the notions of ‘real love’ and ‘goodness’ throughout her perceptive screen play. However, I feel where this film truly excels is in the casting: Rosamund Pike is simply stunning at playing the image of a wife, haunted by the image of perfection. Ben Affleck coped with the task of the dubious and emotionless husband of a similar calibre to Pike. However it was as though the role of Margo Dunne - the twin sister of the main character - and some much needed comic relief in times of pure discomfort - was written for Carrie Coon. Although Neil Patrick Harris’ Desi Collings is not up to standard, it does not detract from the whole impression of the performance. Gone Girl is compelling, savage and elegant with a great cast and it just might become the film of 2014. More like this: American Beauty (1999) Valentina Egorova
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F
racula Untold shows us the story of prince Vlad (Luke Evans), also known as Lord Impaler or Dracula. As a young boy, Vlad is sent to the Turks by his father and is henceforth brought up to be a fighter, which later in his life earned him the title Lord Impaler. Now that Vlad has returned to Transylvania as the prince and has a son of his own, the Turkish sultan returns with a request for another thousand boys. Vlad, fearing of a war when he refuses the request, turns to a vampire residing in a nearby cave and enlists his help. The premise of the film sounds really interesting and promising. Overall, I’d consider it somewhat enjoyable, but for me the film just didn’t work and could’ve been better. There were many small things in the film that annoyed me (the unnatural cleanliness of Vlad’s wife and son, for example). However, there were three bigger problems that I had with the film and which ultimately led to my disappointment. Firstly, the film just kept going and going. I would’ve appreciated the film more had it stopped at the right time; instead it chose to carry on until it could go no further without ruining it’s own chance of a sequel. Secondly, the plot had some real problems with consistency. During a few of the most crucial times in the plot, Vlad ‘forgets’ to use his vampire powers. It’s just irritating as the reason he obtains vampire powers is so he can fight more easily and be guaranteed a victory. Thirdly, the entire plot is killed and the film is rendered pointless by Vlad himself, for it is his choice that leads to the Transylvanians’ demise rather than the sultan’s army. The film had potential, but didn’t live up to it. However, if flaws like these don’t bother you, it can just about be entertaining.
rench film director Luc Besson is notorious for his dark twists, intricate plots and strong female characters. Like his other works, Lucy is an ambitious undertaking. Amidst the usual summer action-thriller-blockbusters and rom-coms, it sticks out as a foray into transcendental science fiction and it’s worth a watch. Arguably carried by Scarlett Johansson’s performance as Lucy, a party girl accidentally caught up in the sinister plans of a Taiwanese drug cartel and forced to mule a new drug. The movie takes a turn for the fantastical when the endearing Lucy’s brain goes into overdrive following a beating that causes the drug to leak into her internal organs. Johansson’s portrayal of Lucy’s transformation from train-wreck to near-goddess is spellbinding; she is nothing short of transcendent herself. As her brain capacity grows, she has the ability to control all of the cells in her body, feel the earth turning under her feet, manipulate the forces around her and even travel back in time to meet her namesake, the original Lucy. Her subsequent quest to pass on her boundless knowledge before her own cells reject her consciousness is both gripping and intelligent. Think of a comic-book story brought to life and you have Lucy. The surreal plot, with its illogical and often bordering precariously on pretentious storyline is made believable by the solid cast. Though Luc Besson’s critics will find little to like here, the pace of the film leads brilliantly to its stunning (if slightly unnerving) climax, and aspiring and established film-makers alike will have to admire Luc Besson for his artistry, if nothing else. In equal measures chilling, unsettling and brilliantly captivating, the film will give its audience something to talk about when they leave.
More like this: I, Frankenstein (2014)
More like this: Transcendence (2014)
Christa Tjadens
Iqra Choudhry
When he learns of his friend’s apparent suicide after becoming embroiled in a murder scandal involving adultery, gangsters, and a large sum of stolen money, private investigator Philip Marlowe decides to take matters into his own hands. Adapted from Raymond Chandler’s 1953 crime novel, and updated for the 1970s. Elliott Gould’s Marlowe is a “born loser”, frequently hilarious as he mumbles and meanders his way around 1970s Los Angeless trying to solve the case.
Network
After learning of his impending dismissal, longserving UBS news anchor Howard Beale launches into an on-air tirade of abuse against both his employers and the passivity of his audience. Instead of losing his job, Beale becomes an unlikely ratings hit and is rewarded with his own weekly segment. Paddy Chayefsky’s scathing script is brilliantly unrelenting in its satirisation of the television industry, raising questions about the growing fears about our reliance on television and its motives.
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Francis Ford Coppola’s slow-paced psychological thriller follows Harry Caul, a freelance surveillance expert who begins to suspect that he is collecting information for a client that will lead to the murder of an innocent couple. The film is spectacular in its manipulation of sound, creating an eerie suspense that feeds into the paranoia that constantly plagues Caul, who is wonderfully played by Gene Hackman. This pitiful quality is only added to by David Shire’s bleak soundtrack.
28.music
Monday 20 October 2014
The Courier
Music Editors: Jamie Shepherd, Dominique Daly and Chris Addison
Don’t techno for an answer Welcome to club corner, where every week our resident electro expert Max Palmer-Greaves Max Palmer-Greaves will be bringing you the best of Newcastle’s vibrant club culture Craft Beer Calling (Mr Scruff ) @ Boiler Shop 24th-26th October If you haven’t got plans for the weekend this is definitely one to watch. If beer is your bag it’s the place to be with over fifty leading craft breweries ascending on the city. Those of you less inclined to craft beer have a different lure to this weekend festival in the form of Mr Scruff who’ll be playing one his famous marathon 5 hour sets. Listen to: Mr. Scruff – ‘Jazz Potato’ Maribou State x Pedestrian @ Cosmic Ballroom 24th October If, like many today, you can’t get enough of the current deep house and future garage scene then this night of two stepping and grooves presented by Cosmic Ballroom and NU:DJ is to put in the calender. I first saw them playing The Warehouse near Byker. There was a lot of dancing and then next thing I knew it was the morning. Endorsed by Eton Messy Records so you can expect an evening of bouncing round the Ballroom to their own remix work and classics from the likes of Kink and Justin Martin. This one’s for any fresher’s who haven’t yet made the trip to Newcastle China Town’ secret gem. Listen to: Lauryn Hill – ‘Doo Wop (Pedestrian and Maribou State Remix)’ Cirque Du Soul (Bondax) @ Digital 22nd October Cirque Du Soul has been touring the UK for a few years now, bringing its love of mixing all things Burlesque with performances from current DJ’s. Its hard to think of an evening with love of spectacle that even comes close (previously there has been fire breathing). Those partaking in the revelry are asked to play by ‘the rules of the circus’, this means outfits will require certain attention to detail. Aside from the spectacle Bondax will be playing and unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past two years you will have heard of the duo. Listen to: Bondax – ‘Giving It All’ Classic Album: The Streets – Original Pirate Material Chopped string samples, clean beats and lines about empty cans and full ashtrays, Skinner takes you on a journey from ‘Turn The Page’ to ‘Stay Positive’ with an honesty that everyone can relate to. Its wide reaching experimentation means there’s something for everyone and Skinner’s lyrical approach to the mundane brings romance to routine. Listen to: The Streets – ‘Weak Become Heroes’ You Need To Hear This : Oceaàn – Oceaàn EP Delicately crafted, stylish beats and James Blakeesque melodies swirl round in Oceaàn’s first release. His down-tempo and seductive approach is apparent from opener ‘Turned Away’. There’s a certain appreciation of the quality derived from having mo- ments of space in music is clear, allowing the listener a moment of respite from an otherwise busy world of social media interaction and over stimulation. The main track ‘Need U’ sounds like three minutes of perfect pop being played by someone who wanted to push himself further and achieve self-expression through ulterior means. It’s music like this that stops an industry saturated with copycats. Interesting and intriguing. Listen to: Oceaàn – ‘Need U’ For more expert knowledge on Newcastle’s electronic and clubbing scene, be sure to tune into Electronic Blanket on NSR every Sunday.
Live: Eagulls at The Cluny Culture Editor Kate Bennett checks out Eagulls as they take over Ouseburn Valley
T
hursday night, and The Cluny is packed to the rafters for fierce post-punk band Eagulls’ eagerly awaited return to Newcastle, after a sold-out and rapturously received performance at the Head of Steam back in March. The Leeds band always has brilliant support acts, with local fuzzmeisters High Tide 15.47 kicking off tonight’s proceedings. The Geordie three-piece (soon to expand to a four-piece with the addition of a synth player) play a beguiling brand of grungy, shoegazey alt-rock that harks back to the glory days of early 90s indie, with the noise they conjure up far exceeding their small number – definitely a band for fans of Yuck and Cheatahs, as well as their 90s forebears My Bloody Valentine and Swervedriver, to check out. Eagulls’ fellow Leeds denizens and frequent tourmates Autobahn are up next, their driving wall of sound an explosive sonic assault on the ears that combines the repetitive intensity of krautrock with heavy layers of spacey, distorted reverb and shouted, almost unhinged vocals.
between songs; there are no ‘how are you all doing tonight’s or ‘this next song is called…’s in their set, just a solid mass of ferocious punk tracks that get all the kids up the front shoving and bodyslamming each other in a way that you rarely see any more at indie gigs. Frontman George Mitchell sways and slouches over his microphone like a puppet controlled by a drunk, his bandmates pounding furiously at their instruments as they tear through their material – all Gang of Four-esque distortion, ringing, flanged guitar melodies, grinding basslines, thunderous drums and almost hysterically yelped vocals. Blistering album cuts such as ‘Nerve Endings’, ‘Tough Luck’, ‘Yellow Eyes’ and ‘Fester/Blister’ mingle with well-loved older tracks ‘Moulting’ and ‘Council Flat Blues’; there’s no filler here, and no chance of the band ever slowing down to give everyone
a rest. By the time they get to the anthemic ‘Soulless Youth’, the penultimate track of the evening, the crowd is reduced to a sweaty, breathless mess, and final song ‘Possessed’ nixes the chance of anyone going home without a handful of bruises and a thoroughly sweat-drenched T-shirt. Eagulls don’t do encores: once finished, they walk off, cool as fuck, leaving a mass of exhausted and delirious punters to stumble towards the door and shout their approval at each other over the ringing in their ears. In a world where going to an indie gig more often than not means standing around trying to look cool and maybe tapping your feet if you’re feeling adventurous, Eagulls are a visceral outlier, a reminder that music can still be exciting and allconsuming and uniting. When are they coming back?
“The crowd is reduced to a sweaty, breathless mess, and final song ‘Possessed’ nixes the chance of anyone going home without a handful of bruises”
The venue is crackling with anticipation by the time Eagulls themselves take to the stage, the crowd crammed in like sardines and nicely warmed up with a combination of the raucous support bands and fast-flowing booze. They open with a new track that’s a little more subdued than what we’re used to from the fast ‘n’ furious punks, and if the crowd seem a little unsure about it, the band soon draw them in with the rest of their setlist. Eagulls aren’t a band for chattering inanely in
Taiga Zola Jesus
24 Karat Gold: Songs from the Vault Stevie Nicks
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ika Danilova – otherwise known as Zola Jesus – recently announced that her latest album is her mission to bring herself into the pop realm. A fairly lofty ambition, you might think – anyone who knows her music will know it’s not the most accessible stuff out there. That said, Taiga has its sparse scattering of radio friendly moments, while packing plenty of brooding suspense that will keep devotees to Siouxsie and the Banshees and Cocteau Twins happy. For fans of such witchy melodrama, it’s bloody wonderful. Not very surprisingly for an album named after sprawling coniferous forest, Taiga has an undercurrent of bleakness and desolation about it. This works best in its sunniest reaches– in ‘Go’ and ‘Dangerous Days’, Danilova has an air of cool command about her which rests above the songs’ pulse and ebb. On ‘Dust’, Danilova is decidedly pragmatic – spurred on by driving horn section. The rest of Taiga is foreboding and troubled, full of anxious electronic arrangements, sweeping string scores and Danilova’s vocals which mirror a whole lot of inner turmoil. Aside from Zola Jesus’ obvious ethereal 80s influences (see above), you can’t help but think of her as sometimes geographically displaced. When you discount Danilova’s American accent, she would form a very good aural backdrop to a really gruesome and disturbing Scandinavian Noir film, in which a tired old detective comes across dismembered body in a freezer in a remote farmhouse, time and time again. She sounds rather like Karin Dreijer-Andersson’s not-so-distant musical cousin. Taiga is not an easy listen, but it is an enduring one. It wraps itself around you, not like a blanket, but like an icy gust of wind. Stick it on you, winter is coming anyway. Will Ibbott
hy oh why, do artists always insist on fleeing their peaceful, and bountiful, retirement from the music industry, right back into the chaos of today’s ruthless music-machine? Surely they’ve got enough money to get by, especially with the recent influx of cash from the hipster trend of only listening to, and buying vinyl copies of music released at least 30 years ago. The latest aboard this bandwagon of despair is Stevie Nicks, the hypnotic warbler of Fleetwood Mac fame. Stevie Nicks’ 8th solo studio album, ’24 Karat Gold: Songs from the Vault’, has been received quite well by music ‘experts’, but I expect that’s just the inherent inability to criticise anything from the good old days. Personally, I also struggle with speaking so harshly about one of my idols, especially one who gave us the stunning ‘Songbird’. I still get shivers. But I just cannot bullshit 550 words (hard to believe from a Literature student, I know).
“To quote the album, maybe she just ‘doesn’t care anymore”
It seems that technological advances in the music industry have hindered this album. Surprising perhaps, when considering how many artists nowadays are only successful because of such advances (cough cough autotune cough cough Nicki Minaj). The poppy aspect of the album seems forced and only serves to distract us from the dreamy lyrics reminiscent of the Fleetwood Mac days, which are obviously the only part of this album which is Stevie Nicks alone, without any intrusion from current producers. The wistful nature of the lyrics really isn’t unexpected when considering the fact that this album is made up of demos first written and recorded between 1969 and 1987.
If you really train your ears, you can still catch fantastic lyrical phrases - such as the brooding ‘this is no ticket for dreamland/a garden for fevers to grow in’ - that whisk you back to her heyday. All the songs on the album are self-penned, with the exception of ‘Carousel’, a cover of Vanessa Carlton. I always find it odd when a star from the past covers a more recent star, like when Aretha Franklin covered Adele, but the sentiment behind Stevie Nicks’ choice is infallible: the song was a favourite of Stevie Nicks’ mother just before she sadly passed away. This indication that is more of a personal endeavour rather than a commercial one possibly explains the deviation away from what we know as typical Stevie. To quote the album, maybe she just ‘doesn’t care’ anymore. And why should she? She can do what she wants. She’s Stevie Nicks.
“If you really train your ears, you can still catch fantastic lyrical phrases”
Stevie Nicks is a goddess. End of. And having the opportunity to listen to her voice in a different way was, of course, a wonder in itself. But I really don’t think she should have bothered opening ‘the vault’, as it were, in this new release. Why do you think we all still love the 60s and 70s so much? It’s because things were better back then; music and art were as free as a naked hippy running through a field of corn and singers actually had to be able to sing. By conforming to the God-awful trends of today’s chart music scene through the incessant use of backing vocals and poppy interludes, Stevie Nicks has placed herself, the ultimate gypsy queen, in shackles and the Fleetwood Mac fan in me is left heartbroken. Ellie McLaren
The Courier
music.29
Monday 20 October 2014
thecourieronline.co.uk/music c2.music@ncl.ac.uk | @courier_music
Talking Heads
Basically, without ‘Perfect Day’ we wouldn’t be having the ‘God Only Knows’ moment of 2014. Anyway, it ended up being a Children in Need single, so let’s not start hating on charity please. Chris Addison
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he whole thing’s a bit strange, but you cant help but be sucked in by the rainforest CGI fiasco that unfolds. But this years BBC collaboration beats its predecessor because it features a wider age range. With the likes of chart dominating artists like Pharrell, Emilie Sande and Lorde appealing to the younger audience, and legends like Brian May, Elton John (who also feature in ‘Perfect Day’) and of course, Brian Wilson at the other end of the spectrum. ‘Perfect Day’ on the other hand limits itself to one particular vintage. There are high and low points of course: the stars that shine like Kylie, Sam Smith and (though I loathe myself saying this) One Direction; and the ones that don’t (Jake Bugg’s appearance is kind of embarrassing).
Are cringe-free collaborations a thing of the past? We asked Music Editor Chris Addison and Beth Evans which was better - the new ‘God Only Knows’ CGI-a-thon or 1997’s ‘Perfect Day’
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he year is 1997, and a star-studded line up of people converge to cover Lou Reed’s ‘Perfect Day’. With it is born a moment that goes down in music history. The cover was commissioned for the BBC, aimed at highlighting the corporation’s worth regarding public tastes, and how that had to be celebrated. Of course the BBC have a powerful influence when it comes to the public’s tastes, but with ‘Perfect Day’ came the realisation that the BBC were actually quite good in catering to the tastes of everyone.
“It injects a fresh burst of youth while maintaining the dignity of the elder generation”
“‘Perfect Day’ was a low key melancholic affair whereas ‘God Only Knows’ surges with such emotion”
I love Lou Reed, and ‘Perfect Day’ is a solid track. However, I think the BBC has gone one step further. ‘Perfect Day’ was a low key, slightly melancholic affair, whereas ‘God Only Knows’ surges with such emotion and nostalgia for those who have a certain attachment with the classic Beach Boys song. It injects a fresh burst of youth while maintaining the dignity of the elder generation. There are even a few surprise appearances (Dave Grohl as the Christlike rock god in the clouds – he only sings three words but it’s still fantastic). This collaboration does what ‘Perfect Day’ tried to do. Though it was widely successful, ‘Perfect Day’ didn’t have the same uplifting feel of togetherness and diversity that ‘God Only Knows’ resonates. It’s one of those songs that is associated with happiness and elation that all comes together in one compact 2.50 minute package. It obviously going to be a little cheesy, but it’s packed with starpower and good vibes that you can’t help but feel a little something for. And as a bonus: Bono isn’t in it this time. Beth Evans
With the likes of Bono, David Bowie and Heather Small all gracing the track, ‘Perfect Day’ was just pure genius because not only did all these great acts form an amazing super group, but they came together for something they all believed in. The song also didn’t see any egos involved. Everyone had there only little bit in the pot of musical creativity, and all of these individual voices and genre changing voices melded together extremely well. It also didn’t hurt that Lou Reed’s original song was a beautiful piece in itself. With simple but effective lyrics that captured a myriad of emotions, the cover version allowed all these collective voices to reach an even greater depth of emotional brilliance, whilst engaging a new generation of music lovers.
Album I club
knew what to expect with Corridor of Faces. This is a fairly standard late 60s psychedelic rock record, with a sound reminiscent of The Beatles. It’s a genre of music that I’ve never cared much for. That said, compared to modern day preferences for deep house and EDM, Corridor of Faces provides something easy-going and chilled out. It’s pretty refreshing to listen to, though a track like ‘Salty People’ can be tiring to the ear and feels drawn out. Still, songs like ‘Sarah Saturday have a subdued energy to them. It’s a very laid-back listen, ideal for a lazy afternoon.
Each week we rescue an album from obscurity and get four writers to give us their take. This week: Lazy Smoke’s 1969 psychedelic rarity Corridor of Faces
“Hailed as a transatlantic psychedelic rock ode to The Beatles”
T
o listen to the full thirty minutes of this album was a complete and utter struggle. Reminiscent of the unheard psych-nightmares played in the bargain basement of my hometown record shop by a tragic old-aged stoner of a salesman, the end was never near enough. I believe Lazy Smoke would have been a better fitting name for this album rather than the band, as it is exactly what I imagine they were doing whilst recording this back in 1967. If landfill psychedelica were a thing in the 60s like landfill indie post-2005 was, I imagine these guys would have topped the bill - The Hoosiers of their time so to
I
’m a rock fan. I really am. But if I’m honest, I find any rock from before the 1980s completely inaccessible. So it’s with great trepidation that I sat down to Lazy Smoke’s modest cult classic ‘Corridor of Faces’ – hailed as a transatlantic psychedelic rock ode to The Beatles. The album really, really, really wasn’t my cup of tea. This isn’t to say that I couldn’t understand why its wistful stoner tunes appeal to fans. I do, because I found myself slowly becoming accustomed to the jangly riffs and grating vocals on the only standout track ‘How Was Your Day Last Night?’ It just didn’t appeal to me, I guess! Iqra Choudhry
“Like the unheard psych-nightmares played in the bargain basement of my hometown record shop”
I
t’s pretty easy to get the gist of this album from the band’s name. Lazy Smoke isn’t the subtlest name for a band whose target audience all went to the original Woodstock. The sound lives up to the name. The somewhat muted vocals melt seamlessly into the jolly guitar with the solos piercing beautifully through the mists the rest of the album conjures. I personally love the song ‘Sarah Saturday’ with its repeated hook, reverb effects and its intricate guitar work. Overall, it sounds like the sort of thing that inspired Josh Homme as a child. So naturally, I love it. Scott Reid
I guess that’s why they call it the schmooze Music Editor Jamie Shepherd and Culture Editor Kate Bennett sat down with Brandon Welchez, lead singer of San Diego “sort of” shoe- gazers Crocodiles before their show at Cluny 2
N
ewcastle’s the first place on the tour; is there anything you particularly like about playing here? How do you think it compares to other northern English cities ? We’ve got a lot of friends here and the gigs are good. They’re a bit smaller here in Newcastle but the north is a pretty cool place. Do you have any tips on dealing with jet lag? I used to get super drunk and then I would pass out and wake up about 4 hours lat- er and blame it on jetlag. You know it’s your liver that regulates your body clock, so alcohol makes things a whole load worse. The better you are to your liver. I don’t know what it’s called over here but it’s called Ambien, works quite well. The first night I was in Japan I took one and then I was out for 8 hours.
“In the town I grew up in California, there was a skateboard bandit that robbed banks” How does it compare touring with Crocodiles and then touring with Haunted Hearts with your wife, Dee Dee from the Dum Dum Girls? Haunted Hearts don’t really tour. Actually, we did play a few acoustic shows but we never tour. We treat it more as a holiday. We did a tour of Italy but that was just an excuse for Dee Dee to have a nice vacation. Your first record is called Summer of Hate - have you ever had a Summer of Hate? We recorded that specific album in 9 months. That was a period of our lives when we’d been through relationships breaking up and a friend had passed away. It was a pretty unhappy time for us. What about Sleep Forever - is there any particular place where you could sleep forever? In my bed at home, I’m a very light sleeper and I get disturbed pretty easily. And what about Endless Flowers - if you could have any endless amount of any flower what would it be? Lemme think… I’d have to say roses. Is that because you’re a bit of an old romantic? Ermm… I dunno… maybe, I guess. Crimes of Passion - if you were to commit any crime of passion what would it be? Murder. I don’t think there is any other thing that could be a crime of passion. I don’t think you can have a very passionate robbery. In the town I grew up in California, there was a skateboard bandit that robbed banks and he always got away with it. Maybe you wouldn’t have anything like that here. Here, it’d probably be on a micro-scooter or a bike or something. Yeah, this guy though, I think he robbed 3 banks. Crocodile tears or ‘Crocodile Rock’? ‘Crocodile Rock’. Everyone loves a bit of Elton. In a few of our songs it basically is just ‘Crocodile Rock’. Crocodile Dundee or Dundee cake - have you ever had Dundee cake? No, what is that? It’s a Scottish fruitcake but with whiskey in it, I think. It’s really good. I’m guess I’m gonna say Crocodile Dundee just because I don’t know what Dundee cake is. For more schmooze visit http://thecourieronline.co.uk/music/
The Courier
gaming.31
Monday 20 October 2014
thecourieronline.co.uk @Courier_Gaming
Gaming  Editors:  Sophie  Baines  and  Ben  Tyrer
Review: Â Alien: Â Isolation
,W IHDWXUHV WKH HQGXULQJ DOLHQ EXW SUREOHPV ZLWK PHFKDQLFV VWHDOWK DQG GLI¿ FXOW\ KDYH Matthew  Ball  wondering  if  Alien:  Isolation  is  the  Alien JDPH ZHœYH EHHQ ZDLWLQJ IRU
T
he Alien franchise has had a troubled history. It started going downhill when the films introduced an easy way to kill an alien, and some believed that Alien: Colonial Marines was the killing blow to the franchise. However, with the recent release of Alien: Isolation, has the franchise clawed itself back from oblivion? It’s certainly taken a running jump away from the edge. Alien: Isolation is a greater homage to the original Alien movie than any previous game, letting you know that this ‘thing’ you’re up against is the perfect organism that you simply can’t kill. The meticulous detail given to the design of Sevastapol Station, the derelict trading station on which Amanda Ripley is stranded, evokes the tone and aesthetic of the iconic 1979 better than any Alien game ever has. So close, in fact, you begin to wonder why couldn’t it just have been a film?
“It’s simply not that scary if the one monster everyone knows now has the infallible power to search you out and kill you whenever it likes; that’s just annoying�
that Alien sadly doesn’t, is mercy. Generally, you’re allowed a second chance if you can react quickly enough. You can escape the monsters that were just chasing you and enter a new hiding place to start over if you’re lucky. In this game, the first time I tried that I was shot twice while looking for a new hiding place, then died and had to start from about 5 minutes back. Maybe part of the problem is the stealth system. While the stealth system is tight and mostly reasonable, it does have those few blurry lines like when you’re ducked behind a chair and the top of your head is only just poking out. Yet that’s not the only issue I found with it. The first time I stood toe-to-toe with the alien in a single room, with me on the second floor, and him killing off some people on the first. The moment it finished, it turned around, and ran to me, killing me instantly. Afterwards, I went back and tried it again. The alien decided that it wanted nothing to do with me
and simply wandered off. So the developers made an AI that occasionally has the ability to instantly find and kill you. I’m not a fan of a stealth system in which you’re occasionally punished for actually hiding.
“It would have probably been a better film than a game. Alien: Isolation is one of the most unforgiving games I’ve played this year�
Sadly, I can’t really recommend Alien: Isolation if you’re looking for that particular horror itch. It’s simply not that scary if one monster that everyone knows by now has the infallible power to search you out and kill you whenever it likes; that’s just annoying.
It would have probably been a better film than a game. Alien: Isolation is one of the most unforgiving games I’ve played this year. Telling players that they need to hide from people is quite simple after the first time you realise that the game takes no prisoners and that you can die in two shots from a gunman you’re trying to run away from. Though you’re given a rudimentary selection of weapons, this is not a game about conflict - it is a game about evasion, hiding and trying (often in vain) to run away for your life. Alien: Isolation went to the same school as Outlast and Amnesia in terms of the mechanics. You have no concrete way to defend yourself, so you have to resort to hiding in lockers and making weapons out of scrap. One thing that Amnesia had,
What  I’m  Playing Review:  Dark  Souls  II:  The  Lost Â
I
’ve recently started playing Rayman Legends on the Xbox One. This 2D platformer was published by Ubisoft, and while not too different from the 360 version, I think it’s one of the best platformers out at the moment. One of the things that first caught my eye was the sheer beauty of the game. Not only have they improved the overall graphics, but the minute details and vibrant colours really make the game pop and add variety to the scenery. The sound and music really fit the mood of the game and the adorable voices of the Teensies cheer you on through the most challenging boss fights. The constant variety in the levels and the different characters you can play as (each with their own moves and voices) makes sure that the same four moves never get old. When I first played this game it was in co-op mode and I was surprised how smoothly the game progressed in difficulty and pace. My favourite part was that if one of the characters died, the other could revive it, thus not breaking the quick pace of the game. However this also made me worry about how single player was going to be and if I would enjoy it as much. Turns out, although it is trickier to do everything by yourself, it is entirely playable and really easy to pick up. To help you in the game, Murfy (a flying frog) cuts ropes and tickles opponents at the press of a button. If you get stuck you can decide which bit you want to tackle next between a variety of worlds that doesn’t follow the clichÊ rule of elemental themed levels. A few highlights are cake world, quicksand races, and stealth filled underwater passages. This allows you to switch between the main storyline, side quests to unlock characters, leaderboards competing with people all over the world, and addictive minigames such as Kung Foot, their ridiculous but fun adaptation of football. One thing is for certain: I will never get bored of playing this game. Sakura Brandi
Crowns  Downloadable  Content
-DFN &DXO¿ HOG  shares  some  thoughts  on  the  challenging  trilogy
D
ark Souls II, while a fantastic game and a worthy sequel, had some issues. The verticality of the first Dark Souls world was abandoned in favour of a setting consisting mainly of disparate linear areas connected by nondescript tunnels. Worse, parts of the game went beyond the entertaining challenge of the first game and into territory so difficult that the best solution for most players was either to run away or snipe enemies from a distance. The Lost Crowns DLC, released in three instalments over the last few months, aims to address these problems. These are three exceptionally well-designed areas where checkpoints (bonfires) are infrequent enough that the player is forced to make use of the (many) shortcuts they can unlock in order to progress - a return to the ingenious level design which frequently felt absent in the main game. Unfortunately, with regards to difficulty, things have, if anything, got worse. There are areas con-
taining bosses we’ve seen before, where the run from the nearest bonfire to the boss is overlong and overcrowded. Of course, players can always wait until these enemies stop spawning, but it’s not a satisfying solution. Thankfully, these spikes are reserved for optional areas, and it’s easy enough to progress through the main body without frustration.
“The Lost Crowns fixes some of Dark Souls II’s problems, while partially exacerbating others, but at heart it’s more Dark Souls�
Of course, what ultimately elevates these areas, is what has always been the most interesting thing about Dark Souls aesthetics. You’ll find many hauntingly beautiful moments: walking into the smelter room at the heart of Brume Tower, to find a group of monsters on their bellies silently worshipping the flame; descending into the Dragon’s Sanctum (an understated voice sings in the background), and finding the place already looted; approaching the gates of Frozen Eleum Loyce only to be warned by a blast of ice and a cold voice to “turn back�. The Lost Crowns fixes some of its parent game’s problems, while massively exacerbating others. But at heart, it’s more Dark Souls, with all the intricate design, fascinating settings, and tactical combat that being a Dark Souls game entails. Even with its flaws, it’s definitely worth it.
A  call  to  interaction
Interaction  is  what  sets  games  apart  from  other  media.  Josh  Hills  thinks  it’s  about  time  to  embrace  new  methods  of  play- ing  games  in  the  modern  world
I
n every moment, there are intellectuals pestering the fringes of thought with the common endeavour of blurring the lines between the current state of affairs, and science fiction; that is, utopia. It’s an exulting thought, and one that currently lies outside of the scope of video games, but technology is a catalyst for the new, and the new infringes upon everything- one must only look back into modern history to see a dramatic change in the way we live, now amalgamated with the allpurpose electronic slabs that stretch our pockets. The differences and strides made from just 5 years ago, are self-indicative of how far we can develop.
“Rolling your eyes or shouting out loud, or synchronously fiddling with your phone; these actions will define video games of the futureâ€? If asked to envision an individual playing a game, your mind may commonly concoct somebody sitting slumped on a sofa with a controller, exploring the arid wastes of Washington D.C. or Rapture via the flicks of their thumbs - in this regard, the landscape has fluctuated little. From a contemporary view, good design of any media often narrowly addresses the media itself- games are held to the standards of products, and there many books, degrees, and experts in ‘good’ game design philosophy. Nonetheless, often overlooked is the importance of the portal of interactivity between a user and a game - and I’m not just talking about how comfortable the triggers feel, or if your mouse has a high DPI. Ironically, even the most progressive thinkers can be adverse to change. Although Nintendo incurred a global shift in interactivity with the Wii, attempts dating from the infamous Power Glove, to Sony’s clunky eyeToy, to Microsoft’s vilified Kinect have all proven important despite being unsuccessful in the commandeering of the industry. This may be because it is easier for developers to design around existing method of input, rather than encourage a new one. Unfortunately, changing the way we interact with games is necessary in nudging videogame development out of habitual loops. This is because as a user, the most important aspect of the game is the way you control it- without that, it’s just machinima (here’s looking at you, David Cage). Choice, decisions, interaction‌ they all simultaneously underlie the definition of the word ‘game’. As Ara Shirinianso rightly said, the avatar is an extension of the user, and consequently physical interactivity should be a formal discipline of game design. This fact is becoming more evident, as teams such as those behind the increasingly popular Oculus Rift are proving. Virtual reality, now entirely tangible, is being refined for the multiplatform and beckons forward a plethora of opportunities for video games to leap into a new generation, not just in hardware, but also in design. Every day you execute a series of actions as yet under-utilised by games. Swiping the air, rolling your eyes or shouting out loud, or synchronously fiddling with your phone; these actions will define video games of the future. All developers have yet to do, in the words of Allan Alcorn, is to find “where the fields are going and‌ be out there pushing that edge.â€?
32.science&technology
Monday 20 October 2014
The Courier
Science Editors: Laura Staniforth and Penny Polson Online Science Editor: Jack Marley
The bees’ needs
Science of the Tyne Now available in Smell-o-vision
Louise Bingham dives into Newcastle’s research into the secret life of bees, and how we can contribute to their protection from pesticides
R
esearch led by Erich Nakasu (PhD Biologist student) has developed an alternative to the chemical neonicotinoid pesticides linked to the decline of honeybees and other pollinator populations. Innovative research here at Newcastle University has developed the Hv1a/GNA bio-pesticide; a fusion protein which has proven highly toxic to a number of insect pests, while only having a minimal effect on honeybees. The chemical pesticide, comprising a combination of toxic venom from an Australian funnel spider and lectin from snowdrops, has been developed by academics from both Newcastle and Durham University as part of the Insect Pollinators Initiative. Honeybees play a vital role in the pollination of some of our key crop species, meaning any decline in their population could have huge ramifi-
Image: Danny Perez
cations in agronomy and horticulture as well as global food security.
“Honeybees play a vital role in the pollination of some of our key crop species, meaning any decline in their population could have huge ramifications” Professor Geraldine Wright explains that “around 90% of the world’s plants are directly or indirectly reliant on pollinators to survive”, stressing the need for a ‘bee-friendly’, environmentally benign replacement for neonicotinoid pesticides associated with the decline in pollinator species. The devastating effect of neonicotinoids (the most commonly used type of insecticide in the world) on the honeybee population has been headline news for a couple of years now. A recent study at Harvard University stated that the use of neonicotinoids were most likely responsible for the onset of ‘colony collapse disorder’ in honeybee hives which had been previously healthy. Even what has been described as ‘sublethal’ doses can lead to physical impairment, vulnerability to disease and the potential to take traces of the poison back to the colony. Which is why, in December 2013, the EU banned the use of three major neonicotinoids for two years, highlighting the importance of Nakasu’s work. Mr Nakasu says: “In our experiments, we have used concentrations that
represent a ‘worst-case scenario’, which means that bees were exposed to unrealistically high concentrations of our bio pesticide… and even after seven days we did not detect any measurable effect.” The Hv1a/GNA protein is unique in that, unlike other pesticides, it targets calcium channels, which represent a more diverse insecticide receptor. Calcium channels are associated with memory and the learning process in honeybees so any pesticide which interferes with these receptors will be detrimental to the pollinator population. However, after being fed acute and chronic doses of the Hv1a/ GNA protein for seven days, there was no measurable effect on these processes and very little effect on the bees’ ability to survive. Honeybees display highly sophisticated behaviour, such as recognising and remembering floral traits as food sources, in order to survive and communicate with their hives. Despite the Hv1a/GNA protein being carried to the brain of the honeybee, it does not interact with the calcium channels proving the selective nature of the spider-venom toxin. Nakasu explains that “it was developed by fusing two different proteins, an insecticidal peptide from a spider venom and a ‘carrier’ molecule from a plant (snowdrop), which would transport this peptide from the insect’s gut to its sites of action within the insect’s body (as) the peptide itself is not toxic via ingestion.” The long term survival of honeybees is equally as optimistic with the use of this bio-pesticide, as even the larvae were unaffected during the trial process and had the ability to break the toxin down in their gut. This combined with the fact that the recombinant protein has to be ingested by the insect rather than directly absorbed through the exoskeleton, makes Hv1a/GNA a bee-friendly and environmentally benign alternative to mainstream pesticides. There are many possibilities for further research in the area of using proteins as carrier molecules and the potential for developing new bio pesticides is “virtually limitless”. It’s almost too good to bee true.
A student’s guide to helping the bees t Leave an area of your garden to grow wild. If you already need a machete to get to your front door, give your self a pat on the back - you’ve done it pal! t Sprinkle wild flower seeds to encourage a nutritious nectar source (not the Sainsbury’s type). t No green in your garden? No problem! Fill a few large plastic bins with soil, a lavender bush or two, a bit of rosemary and some bright sunflowers and you will soon turn your grey space into a bee paradise! t Why not go the whole hog and contact The British Beekeeper’s Association for your chance to shine? t Buy your flatmate a bee hotel for Secret Santa. They’ll love it. Penny Polson & Laura Staniforth
Image: Louise Docker
Who nose your fate? Huge claims were made last week about how smell deterioration could lead to imminent death, so we put on Jane Dalton on the case to sniff out the story
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eports have been published suggesting that your sense of smell may indicate more about our overall health than we initially realised, and may even predict lifespan. But how much attention should we really give to these findings? The University of Chicago conducted the research, involving two ‘smell tests.’ The first test was undertaken in 2005-06, the second was completed in 2010-11. Over this five year period 39% of adults who were deemed ‘anosmic’ (loss of sense of smell) after the first test had died.
“The loss of smell has already been identified as an early warning sign for Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s disease”
So, how did they measure this? The researchers took a group of 3,005 adults aged between 57-85 and gave them five different odour identification tests on felt-tip pens. These distinctive smells were peppermint, fish, orange, rose and leather. If the participant made 0-1 errors they were deemed ‘normosmic’ (having a normal sense of smell), if
they made 2-3 errors they were deemed ‘hyposmic’ (moderate loss of sense of smell) but if 4-5 errors were made the participant was deemed ‘anosmic.’ The researchers took other factors into account when finalising the results such as the person’s nutrition, smoking habits, alcohol intake, education, race and overall health but still the conclusion has been made that those with the poorest sense of smell were most at risk of declining health. In future, the research team hopes this test can be used in a clinical setting as a quick and inexpensive way to monitor a person’s health. It is still unclear how this may indicate lifespan, but it is thought that if the speed of regenerating cells in the olfactory system (responsible for sensing smell) has slowed, this suggests other processes in the body may also be slowing down, leading to a gradual decline in health. The researchers have admitted that further investigation is needed to understand the link, if there is any. However, the loss of smell has already been identified as an early warning sign for Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s disease. “Of all human senses,” Professor Jayant Pinto, the lead scientist in this investigation, said “smell is the most undervalued and underappreciated- until it’s
gone.” Indeed it is thought that smell contributes to physiological and psychological wellbeing. Think about losing the ability to smell your favourite things; a burning fire, freshly filtered coffee, bacon in the morning. It’s these everyday pleasures we take for granted and not only this, smell affects our taste of food and drink. For many, losing this would remove any enjoyment of eating, leading to less nutrition and declining health; a slippery slope for someone who’s already frail or living alone.
57-85 age bracket, and haven’t recently lost your sense of smell for no apparent reason there’s no evidence to suggest you’re going to die in the next five years. However, the next time you think about complaining to your friend about their smelly tuna sandwich or tut at that person eating an orange in a lecture, embrace it and enjoy knowing your body won’t be shutting down any time soon.
“Over this five year period 39% of adults who were deemed anosmic after the first test had died”
Professor Tim Jacob at Cardiff University has praised the “well conducted” study. However, doubts have been made about the reliability of the results. They were not tested in a standardised room, they were only asked to complete the test once and the actual cause of death was not tracked. All in all, don’t panic! As long as you’re not in the Illustration by Becky Irvine
The Courier
technology&science.33
Monday 20 October 2014
thecourieronline.co.uk/science c2.science@ncl.ac.uk   |  @courier_science
Ebola:  how  worried  should  we  be? We  asked  Cinthu  Vivehananthan  to  give  us  a  further  understanding  RI WKH GHYDVWDWLQJ GLVHDVH DQG WR FRQ¿ UP ZKDW ULVN LW SRVHV WR WKH 8.
T
he media loves a good scare story and Ebola has sent the whole world into a frenzy of panic, driven by media scaremongering, potentially jeopardising public understanding of the disease. The Ebola virus is an infectious disease that has led to over 4,000 deaths in 2014 thus far; the current outbreak is the largest ever. It is transmitted through bodily fluids and leads to early symptoms such as fever, muscle pain and fatigue. These then develop into vomiting, diarrhoea and possibly internal and external bleeding. This can result in death due multiple organ failure or dehydration. The fatality rate is around 50% and there is no current cure. For the time being treatment involves restoring fluid balance; however experimental drugs such as ZMapp have been used to treat several patients including two US aid workers and a Briton who have recovered. Unfortunately, others have not. The hysteria of Ebola is becoming part of the problem as this fuels stigma that damages the efforts to control the disease. This was demonstrated when 17 Ebola patients vanished from a quarantine centre in Liberia and 10 were taken away by their families, who believed Ebola was a hoax. Ad-
ditionally, some people with the virus fear getting treatment due to a loss of faith in western medicine, resulting in patients being taken to village healers. This underlines the harmful effect of ignorance of the disease resulting in Ebola spreading further. West Africa’s failure to control the outbreak is primarily due to its poor health infrastructure, as well as the stigma and lack of education surrounding the disease. Thus although Jeremy Hunt claims that it is ‘entirely possible’ for Ebola to reach the UK, if it did it would be a completely different story here.
“Ebola outbreak simulations are also due to be tested in four major hospitals including the Royal Victoria Infirmary in Newcastle� The NHS is prepared to cope, due to the presence of stringent disease surveillance; barrier nursing and quarantine and protective equipment ensuring the virus is contained. This will help stop the rapid spread of the disease, which so struck West Afri-
Symptoms  of  Ebola Day 7-9: Flu-like symptoms occur after infection headache, sore limbs, and fatigue
Diagram by Penny Polson
Day 10: Fever suddenly rises, followed by nausea and vomiting
ca. Ebola outbreak simulations are also due to be tested in four major hospitals, including the Royal Victoria Infirmary next to campus, in preparation. Furthermore, airport screening is also being brought in to screen for Ebola symptoms, and while this is better than no preventative measure it does have its problems. One of which is the damage that false positives will cause especially due to the fact that early symptoms can also be mistaken for other diseases such as Malaria and that Ebola has an incubation period of up to 21 days when only symptoms are demonstrated. New cases of Ebola in the UK are almost unavoidable but this should not be a cause of panic as our robust healthcare infrastructure ensures that these cases will handled differently to the cases in West Africa, ensuring the virus is contained effectively and treated to the best of our abilities. The lack of education of the disease is what has led to Ebola taking such a massive hold already and the scare stories, sensationalist media, subsequent stigma and ignorance drives the virus further. The UK population has a better access to education, which will also significantly reduce the factors that rumours have in fuelling spreading of Ebola like in Western Africa, thus also controlling the disease.
Is  sleeping  with  your  phone  making  you  fat? Anna  Jastrzembska  investigates  how  the  light  from  phone  chargers  may  affect  our  hormones
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harging your phone at night might lead to obesity, suggests a study by the University of Grenada. The research concludes that exposure to artificial lightning during sleep hinders the production of a hormone that influences weight loss. It means that people who sleep with a lamp, TV or a computer on- or just frequently get notifications on their phones or tablets- are at greater risk of getting obese and developing type 2 diabetes. It is a well-known fact that sleep is an important factor in losing body weight. That is because of melatonin, a hormone that regulates metabolism and accelerates weight loss during sleep. Now it seems important to not only get enough sleep, but also in the right conditions. Production of melatonin is blocked by blue light, which is emitted by electronics and energy-efficient light bulbs.
Day 11-12: Bruising and brain damage, bleeding from orifices
Image: bfishadow
Day 12: Loss of consciousness, seizures, internal bleeding and death
Whale  of  the  Week  Humpback  Whale  (Megaptera  novaeangliae  )
Not only your fitness is at risk. Melatonin is a powerful hormone that enables the circadian rhythms, regulates the sleep-wake cycle and metabolism as well as is an important antioxidant and anti-inflammatory. Shortages of melatonin might lead to problems with sleep and the REM cycle (loss of vividness of dreams), but also to quicker ageing, type 2 diabetes, problems with memory, and weight gain. Additionally, scientists from the University of Harvard claim that there might be a link between the lower levels of melatonin and certain types of cancer. Before the popularisation of the artificial lightning, people used to spend their evenings in rela-
“Sleep is an important factor in losing body weight. That is because of melatonin, a hormone that regulates metabolism and accelerates weight loss during sleep�
tive darkness. The yellow light produced by fire is not as disturbing for the organism. Nowadays, in the information age, we are exposed to light pretty much all the time, and even the illumination from streetlamps or a smartphone might have a negative effect on our bodies. It seems reasonable to wonder that this, in addition to eating high-processed, high-calorie food, might be the reason for a lot of “diseases of civilisation�; obesity, diabetes, and quite possibly Alzheimer’s and cancer. What to do? Switch off your phone, computer and TV for the night and close the curtains. Ideally, do not look at any screens for two or three hours before going to bed. Eat fruit, nuts, seeds, spices, herbs, tea and coffee- they contain lots of melatonin. And do not worry too much - all related studies were conducted on rats, there is no concrete proof that human organism reacts in the same way.
Illustration  by  Becky  Irvine
The Courier
35.puzzles
Monday 20 October 2014
Puzzles Editor: Kate Bennett
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Courier Catchphrase See if you can guess (catch) the common idiom (phrase) shown in this picture combo?
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1 V. glamorous 80s actress, appeared in Dynasty and, inexplicably, Miss Marple (4, 7) 7 Sense of self-esteem and self-importance (3) 8 White fat used in baking, mostly by grans (4) 9 _ _ _ _ Partridge, the most awkward TV character of all time (4) 10 Stock cube (3) 11 The fin on top of a fish/sea mammal (6) 14 Wading bird, related to heron (7) 15 Tree susceptible to a disease from the Netherlands (3) 17 Outlier (6) 20 Red felt hat with tassel - suits everyone (3) 22 _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Mode, classic synthpop band (7) 24 Animal skin with fur on; bombard (4) 25 Second-to-last (11)
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1 Gelatine sweet, comes in more flavours than anyone really needs, to be honest (9) 2 Nabbed by the police (6) 3 Black gemstone; 1st gen. Pokemon made of rock (4) 4 Snow house (5) 5 Delivers (5) 6 Squalid dwelling (5) 10 Form of musical involving wailing women (5) 12 Spirit beloved of Jack Sparrow (3) 13 Blemished skin (4) 16 David _ _ _ _ _, cult auteur behind Blue Velvet and Mulholland Drive (5) 18 What Vauxhall is called in Europe (4) 19 Annoying noise made by small dogs (3) 20 Sheep hair; type of jacket worn mostly by mums and mountaineers (6) 21 Bobby _ _ _ _ _ _, QPR and occasional England striker (6) 22 Give off (4) 25 The proper name for a fizzy drink (3)
For even more news, views, Find the word that con- sports and cul- nects these three words. ture, make sure Hint: If your gran is a you head over to good woman she’ll have thecourieronline. some of these in her biscuit co.uk cupboard
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36.sportfeatures
Monday 20 October 2014
The Courier
Managerial nightmares With the debate over Alan Pardew’s fate rapidly intensifying, The Courier examines other coaches’ misfortunes
The Cricket Dilemma Having seen England lose heavily in the most recent Christmas Ashes series down under, the ECB retraced its steps and re-employed Peter Moores who had returned to the county game and was coach of Lancashire at the time. This term was the second time Moores has come in charge of England and although his side beat India this summer, breaking a 10-month losing streak, there were still questions over his manmanagement of Kevin Pietersen from his previous term of employment. It was found that Kevin Pietersen, or KP as he is affectionately known, had been texting his South African counterparts with inside knowledge about the England team’s weaknesses. Thus, carnage was created and nobody had any idea what was going on. The press weighed in with their thoughts but interestingly many turned on Moores rather than Pietersen. At the time, KP was England’s number 4 and most pro-
lific batsman so it was, as one paper put it, ‘a how do you solve a problem like Maria case’. Do you fire the man that allows that to happen or do you fire the man that wins you games? Both, after a series of dismayed ‘reintegration talks’, were relieved of their positions which still haunts England fans to this day. The hashtag of ‘#bringbackkp’ has been prominent all summer with Moores being reinstated. An absolute nightmare for all involved for sure but even worse was that, no sooner than his new tenure had begun, another scandal ensued in the questioning of Alastair Cook’s form as both batsman and captain. Fortunately, despite the rumours of a coup, Cook’s form drastically improved (with help from a pants Indian bowling outfit) and all Moores blushes were saved, for now. With such a history though, will this circle ever end? Josh Nicholson
Photography: Getty
The Rusted Catastrophe Rod Rust’s promotion to head coach of the New England Patriots at the start of the 1990 season was supposed to mark a long and emotional fairytale rise to the top. The former footballer had spent 14 seasons in the NFL in a variety of coaching positions but never as a leading one. In addition, Rust had experienced further 16 years in college football as an assistant coach with exception of a short stint as head coach of North Texas University. But although Rust now seemed prepared for a more demanding challenge, by the end of that season, his performance had turned into a textbook example of a managerial nightmare. The Patriots recorded a single win in the second week followed by 14 consecutive losses to finish the campaign with a disastrous 1-15 record which today still stands as the club’s worst season since its founding in 1960. However, despite that Rust was de-
scribed as “low key” and “not charismatic enough to be head coach”, it is worth noting that his season was also scarred by a few off-the-field incidents that undoubtedly damaged the team morale. These included Boston Herald reporter Lisa Olson filing sexual harassment charges against three of the Patriots’ key players and two other being injured for the entire season after brutally assaulted outside a nightclub. Furthermore, Rust also suffered by the poor quality of the Patriots’ squad which failed to record more than six wins in the next three seasons and had only won five the previous one. As far as coaching disasters go, Rod Rust ranks up there with the worst. And although the American remained in the NFL manager chronicles for further 14 years on and off, he was never appointed as head coach again. Tom Purvis
Photography: Getty
Illustration by Daisy Billowes
Italian boots kick McDermott out April 2013, Brian McDermott’s Elland Road rollercoaster of catastrophes began. Following the sacking of Neil Warnock, optimism was high (yet wasted) amongst Leeds United fans over their newly appointed manager. Following a successful run of results during late 2012 (a 4-0 win against Birmingham City), the club reached an encouraging fifth position in the Championship. However, a dip in form at the turn of the year proved to be the catalyst for the chaos that was about to occur. A 6-0 defeat to Sheffield Wednesday in early January sparked major concern around the club regarding McDermott’s future. Meanwhile, coinciding with this result was the increasing buzz of a takeover from Italian tycoon Massimo Cellino. In January 2014, so it began: less than
a year before his three-and-a-half-year contract had been signed, news emerged that McDermott had been sacked as manager of the club by a man who was not even its owner. McDermott revealed exclusively on Sky’s Goals on Sunday that he was “relieved of his duties” following a phone call from an unknown administrator of the club. The Leeds United fiasco however was far from over. Whilst implementing a caretaker manager to takeover the team, the club simultaneously issued a statement that McDermott had in fact not been sacked. As this was all going on during Cellino’s official takeover in February 2014, another “manager” in the name of Gianluca Festa was supposedly changing team lineups like a game of battleships even though he was not in charge... (Hope you’re keeping up).
McDermott, the club, the players and the fans were in a complete sense of disarray during what must have felt like a merry-go-round of managers entering and leaving the club. Yet, the circus that surrounded Leeds United continued. Instead of being sent on his way, Festa was assigned translating duties within the club by Cellino for new signing Andrea Tabanelli. The series of errors was prolonged within the club as failure of paperwork meant that this reportedly “landmark” signing had to return back to Italy. May 2014, Leeds’ whirlwind of comedic/tragic events finally came to a halt as Brian McDermott was sacked indefinitely. Again. Lynsey Bronlie
The Courier
sportfeatures.37
Monday 20 October 2014
A Chat Of Two Halves
The Murraysmo Failure For two weeks every summer, the British public gather round their television screens and admire the white uniforms and strawberry eating crowds of Wimbledon. Also synonymous with the tournament are the cut-away camera shots of the coaches’ box, where slow motion replays capture their emotion, or in Ivan Lendl’s case, lack of. Having established himself as British number one and another ‘nearly man’ for a grand slam title from 2007-2011, Andy Murray sought help from former world number one and 8 time grand slam champion, Ivan Lendl. The Czech born, US citizen, brought with him a no nonsense approach to coaching, which aimed at stamping out the temper and tantrums that had become a regular feature of the young Scot. It was this personality defect that had kept Andy from fully winning the hearts of the British public. This was until, amongst the pomp and ceremony of the London 2012 Olympic Games, the ‘Brit’, as we now knew him, overcame the mighty Roger Federer, having broken down in tears following a Wimbledon final defeat to the same opponent, only 3 weeks before. The whole nation, it seemed, now loved Andy Murray and having followed Olympic success with his first grand slam title in New York, Murray, along with his seemingly unstoppable support crew, including Lendl, mother,
Is British football ready for the Rooney Rule? Calum Wilson and Huezin Lim enter a discussion over measures designed to improve the representation of black managers in professional football leagues
“Keith Curle, one of the two black managers in the whole Football League, has said he doesn’t see the point ‘if you’re only there so someone can tick a box’” Photography: Getty
Judie Murray and girlfriend, Kim Sears, headed into Wimbledon 2013 with a newfound belief. To the amazement of everyone, Andy Murray ended the 77year long wait for a male British champion at Wimbledon. Since then, following a surprise split from Lendl earlier this year, Murray has been a shadow of his former self under new coach Amelie Mauresmo, with a series of poor results, none more so than the straight sets quarter-final defeat to Bulgarian Grigor Dimitrov at Wimble-
don. To further dampen the Scots spirits, he recently dropped out of the top 10 in the world rankings. Some may view it a little harsh to blame the swift switch of coaches as the sole reason for Andy’s recent demise, considering he not long ago under went serious back surgery. However, it seems fair to say that the British number one may well be missing a certain stern-faced Czech in his coaching box. I know I am. Calum Wilson
The Manager-Eater The management situation at Italian football club Palermo is nothing short of horrifying. President Maurizio Zamparini is renowned in the world of the beautiful game for being a nightmare despite his ownership of the Rosanero leading them to Serie A, Italy’s top division, European competitions and a Coppa Italia final as recently as 2011. Taking over the club as president in 2002, Zamparini wasted no time in shaking up the Palermo management, chopping and changing managers no less than four times before the end of 2003 desperate to take the club to the top division after a 31-year absence. This was achieved in 2004 when Francesco Guidolin became the first man capable of granting Zamparini his wish but he too departed the club at the end of the next season despite an impressive sixth place finish granting them qualification for the UEFA Cup. This was when the upheaval truly began. After two unsuccessful replacements for Guidolin, the same man was employed again almost exactly a year after leaving the Rosanero. Even more ridiculous, however, is that Guidolin has actually left the club and rejoined twice more after that U-turn. It was evident that Zamparini wasn’t your average
president and was certainly the stereotypical Italian maverick - or horror story. Since his takeover 12 years ago, Zamparini has changed managers almost 30 times. With an average of over two a season, it’s hard to understand why anyone would take the job but, including Guidolin, five managers have committed themselves to Palermo on more than one occasion under Zamparini’s leadership which simply adds to the
absurdity. Perhaps the best feature for Zamparini’s reign is the farce that was Serse Cosmi’s time in the hot seat. Having taken over from Delio Rossi, Cosmi was allowed just four games in charge before being given his marching orders following a 4-0 defeat to rivals Catania and was then replaced on same day by none other than his predecessor. It’s almost as if the job is cursed. Alex Hendley
Photography: Getty
The rule, implemented in the NFL since 2002, requires teams to interview at least one black or minority ethnic candidate for a head coach vacancy. Dan Rooney, owner of the NFL’s Pittsburgh Steelers and instigator of the controversial ‘Rooney Rule’ has recently piled more pressure on the key figures in English football to open discussions to adopting the rule. “I would tell British clubs that if they would look at this openly they will find this is a positive thing”, said Rooney in a recent interview with BBC Radio. The debate reappeared in the headlines in September as Chris Powell and Keith Curle were appointed as managers of Huddersfield Town and Carlisle United, respectively. The issue continues to divide the sporting world and is one that is unlikely to disappear anytime soon. Amongst those to come out against the rule was Chelsea boss, Jose Mourinho. His bold statement that “there is no racism in football” caused an understandable stir, especially considering his club captain John Terry’s controversial past. Mourinho’s underlying message is that managers should be hired on purely based on merit and nothing more. This view is shared by Keith Curle who told The Guardian that “I don’t see the point if you’re only going to be there so someone can tick a box”. Curle and Powell stand currently as the only black or ethnic minority managers of any of the 92 clubs in the
Premier League or Football League. With 25% of current footballers in England being black or of ethnic minority, it seems ludicrous that in managerial terms the corresponding figure could be so low. But bear in mind that of the 192 UEFA pro license holders in England only 14 are black, and perhaps we can better understand the situation as it stands. Consider also, that in the 2 months of football season that has passed so far, 18 managers have already lost their jobs. With that kind of ratio, under the ‘Rooney Rule’ unemployed black managers such as Chris Hughton or Paul Ince would need to be making many copies of their CV. That’s not to say that the rule couldn’t ever work here in England. The facts from the USA speak for themselves. After the rule was established, the number of black head coaches in the NFL rose from 6% in 2002, to 22% in 2006. And those that have got the jobs, haven’t simply been making up the numbers, since 2006 at least one black head coach has lead out a side at the Superbowl every year. It seems then, with the statistics as they are in 2014, that the English game is not yet ready for the adoption of the ‘Rooney Rule’. However with the PFA claiming that 18% of players currently on their coaching courses are black or ethnic minority, the future looks brighter for greater representation at senior management level. Calum Wilson
“There are no obvious drawbacks to including the rule, especially not when mindsets and stereotypes have changed”
The Rooney Rule named after Dan Rooney has been established and lauded in the National Football League (NFL) in the United States for years now since its inception in 2003. The rule requires NFL teams to interview minority candidates for head coaching and senior positions within the organization, giving them fair chance and consideration. The debate for now has turned to English football and whether it is time for the league to include such a rule as well. A few statistics will indicate that the Rule or some sort of action needs to take place. There are 192 UEFA Pro License owners in England and 14 of those are minority and even more astoundingly, there is only one blackskinned manager in English football now, Chris Powell of Championship side, Huddersfield Town. It is uncertain why this is the case but with black managers, players and ministers speaking up and the Kick it Out campaign, there is definitely a push towards instating the rule in English football. There are no obvious drawbacks to including the rule, especially not when mindsets and stereotypes are changing. The rule does not state that the organisation is required to hire a minority leader, it states that fair opportunity should be given to a minority candidate. Crucially, it lengthens the timeline for the possibility of minority coaches as well. The Respect campaign has been somewhat
successful towards the players, with Dani Alves, Kevin-Prince Boateng and many others standing up to racial abuse from fans. It is essential that the FA and all relevant bodies encourage inclusion and equality, especially in the management and coaching side of football. As momentum builds, minority players such as Tom Huddlestone have already begun their coaching qualifications and there are only going to be more of such players moving towards management. Such players should be encouraged and incentivised and knowing that the opportunity for a job interview at clubs with superior facilities and players will be very heartening. One option for progressing and getting the required experience would be to start as a skills coach in the smaller leagues and hopefully, when the time is right, move towards the managerial role. The most important thing to understand about the implementation of the Rooney Rule is that paradigms are changing and mindsets are evolving, we are no longer in the age where races and stereotypes divide us. The game that the world enjoy has to as well. Every single one of us, regardless of race and gender enjoy the same sport equally and unequivocally. As an NFL coach eloquently said, “There should not be a time table for good decision making”, teams should give the underdog a chance. Huezin Lim
38.sportbucs
Monday 20 October 2014
The Courier
Mixed fortunes for netballers Women’s Netball
By Abi Dodwell in Sheffield NUNC 1s 29-32 Northumbria 1s So it’s that dreaded time of the year when NUNC has to come face to face with Northumbria University, its greatest rivals. The play was fierce right from the start and Newcastle strived to keep their play clean and exhibit the best quality of netball. In the words of the captain Jo Murnane they ‘just got on the wrong side of the scoreline’. With no one letting their head drop, every ball was contested and every goal was well deserved. The player of the match was Emily Whiteside and she was a pivotal part of the attack as she rarely missed a single shot! With only two in it at half time there was still everything to play for. The defence held their end with Fa-
rah at Goal Keeper challenging every poly ball. And the centre court carried on this strong defence of Hattie Grant and Alice Hagyard stayed on their players regardless of the Poly’s loose and digging elbows. They kept their composure and played a fantastic and classy game. The match ended with a 29-32
“So it’s that dreaded time of the year when NUNC has to come face to face with Northumbria, our greatest rivals” defeat and although the Poly left with this victory they certainly won’t be looking forward to the next contest against NUNC 2s 47-34 Leeds Met 3s Newcastle. An incredible start for the 2nd team as they took on Leeds Met and came away with a strong win. From the second the team stepped on court. they
Owls blow Hallam away Men’s Rugby League Newcastle 1sts
32
Sheffield Hallam 1sts
18
By Steven Janney in Sheffield The first rugby match of the season always brings fervour and excitement to every single person in university and they were not disappointed with the first league match of the season. NURL travelled down with a mixture of last years old guard and promising new freshers. Notable absences included Jack Farr and Jed Mawdsley who missed
Hallam crossed again giving a half time score of 12 apiece. Looking to redeem himself after his earlier binning for ‘running in’ Jason Bass crossed again from another Aaron Levy pass that was served up on a plate. Hallam had no response for this and NURL hit back with another try, this time through a spread play with Charlie Hyland delivering Ant Hensman to score in the corner. With the Newcastle men dominating, Hallam seeked a response and with a crafty kick off play from Hallam saw them regain possession and score from here. This fired up the Owls who immediately hit back with a try from winger Josh Catlett. The try came following a 60 meter break from prop Dan Caparros-Midwood, back in NURL colours
“From here, captain Andreas Methenitis inspired his troops with tireless work in the middle in both attack and defence” out due to injury. The AU’s most beloved were shepherded on to a packed coach but morale was high to start the season strongly. Playing on a tight 3G pitch, the game was always going to be predominantly in the forwards. This suited a NURL pack boasting Cumbrian workhorses Tom Whalley and Barry Rigby amongst others. The game started with a high intensity and it didn’t take long for tempers to flair with passions running high for the opening game of the league, with Sheffield Hallam’s second row sin binned for a disgusting high tackle on Matt O’Neill who had parted the defence like Moses parting the red sea. NURL capitalised on the one man advantage with a strong try from fresher Bowden Morgan scooting out of dummy half. Keeping up with the strong momentum, the boys followed this up with a try from Jason Bass responding to a Hallam score. Bass was simply too strong for Hallam’s defence, and he ploughed through them easily. The flat Hallam attack couldn’t penetrate NURL’s defence but following a series of mistakes from the boys in blue,
all had their heads in the game and played top quality netball. From their first centre pass it was clear that Georgia St Rose had control of the game as she fired solid balls into the attack and defended up the court. It was this incredible effort that earned her the player of the match. Georgia’s amazing play
following a successful tour to South Africa with GB students. With every Hallam try, Newcastle shifted up a gear and they managed to find an even higher level than before. From here captain Andreas Methenitis inspired his troops with tireless work in the middle in both attack and defence. NURL were firmly on top and Bowden Morgan stole his second try out of dummy half after half-back Levy had marched the boys up-field in a commanding debut. This led to Levy being awarded man of the match, an honour that was topped off by his Dad, Frank, who helped to replenish electrolyte levels in the changing room with the kind gift of some of America’s finest lager. The death machine rolls on towards next week with a game against tougher opposition in the form of Leeds Beckett, who travel to Fortress Cochrane off the back of winning the National Championship last season. The team is going to have to be on top of their game in conditioning, fitness, technique and with a stroke of luck, NURL may just be able to pull off an upset to be proud of.
coupled with Tesni Felows great movement in the D meant that success was inevitable for the 2nds. The team held a strong lead throughout the match but really pulled away in the last two quarters giving them a strong lead. A lead that couldn’t have happened without the Annie Bolle-jones and Laura Hall making continuous tips and interceptions as they fought for every ball. This fight is what made Newcastle today the
deserved victors and they left filled with pride knowing they had played their NUNC 3s 32-38 Leeds Uni 3s best and worked well as a team. A solid performance from the 3rds in their first match against Leeds Uni 3rd team. It was a close game throughout with both teams fighting viciously to keep every centre pass. Whilst the end result was a 32-38 loss to Leeds, the close score resembled a high standard of netball that was played. With on point shooting from Olivia Gordon and strong feeding from Lauren Parker, the attack was a force to be reckoned with, but Chloe Tindale took Leeds by storm and played her wing attack out of the game with her constant tips and interceptions. Her amazing play earned her the deserved title of player of the match. Vice captain Charlotte Pickard also praised her team saying it was “a strong first performance by all”. This was a great start for Newcastle thirds and the
determination that they showed in their first match is undoubtedly going to be seen every week and lead to a successNUNC 4s 30-55 Sheffield Hallam 2s ful season. Although not a win, there is no doubt that Newcastle 4th team left Sheffield Hallam with their heads held high. For the teams’ first match together, it was truly a success with Jess Wheeler and Steph Garfield acing their shots and chasing every rebound. The positive attitude ran the whole way down the court as all players worked together to make steals and feed fluently. The Player of the match, Alice Farmer, held off even the solid goal shooter who didn’t seem to miss. At half time the score was 28-15 to Sheffield but Newcastle still kept pushing with the same determination they started with. All in all, a great performance from everyone and it looks like it is going to be a great season for the fabulous 4ths.
RWUFC’s true potential yet to bloom Women’s Rugby Newcastle 1sts
5
Loughborough 1sts
50
By Catherine Sanderson at Cochrane Park The weather was gloomy and rainy but nothing could batter the spirits of the Newcastle Women’s Rugby team when they took on Loughborough who are undeniably one of the stronger teams in the Premier North division. Newcastle’s female rugby started strong in their first BUCS match against Loughborough. Possession in the first half was dominated by Newcastle with some immense runs from forwards Cassie Jordan and Tasha Robson. Unfortunately, Loughborough scored 3 lucky tries from turnovers and a sneaky quick lineout due to their extremely fast backs; however it was soon clear that Newcastle dominated in the scrum, allowing them some turnovers of their
own. With these additional turnovers, the team had opportunities to capitalize but unfortunately, our conditioning and our training had not come together quite the way we would have liked. Newcastle really upped the pressure onto Loughborough before half time, pushing them back behind their 22. Loughborough did not like this and after trying (unsuccessfully) to start several fights one of their players was yellow carded. Newcastle showed great
game Newcastle’s academic reputation paid off, leaving the Loughborough side confused and dazed as to how many people should go in a four man lineout. After some great hands from backs Shauna Buckley and Georgie Keyte, fresher Pip Serebriakoff finished off with a well-deserved try for Newcastle. The girls worked hard right up until the final whistle, despite the Loughborough captain wanting to quit with five minutes to go.
“It was a huge relief to finally get out onto the rugby pitch after 3 months of summer keeping this team apart and the drive and passion was clear to see for the team and the staff members” determination, refusing to lower themselves to Loughborough’s level, and at half time were just 5m from the try line. The girls were enthusiastic and eager to get back onto the field, with the first try of the game within their grasp. After a strong team talk from both the coach and the captain, Newcastle set out again, more determined than ever to batter the moaning Loughborough team. In the first lineout of the
It was a great start to the season despite Loughborough winning 50-5. It was a huge relief to finally get out onto the rugby pitch after 3 months of summer keeping this team apart and the drive and passion was clear to see for the team and the staff members. The girls really pulled together as a team and although we lost it was a definite moral victory. Bring on Birmingham next week.
The Courier
sportbucs.39
Monday 20 October 2014
+RW GRXEOH EDJHOV VHUYHG DW /LYHUSRRO Women’s Tennis Newcastle
12
Liverpool John Moores
0
By Sian Bayliss at The Northumberland Club After winning the Northern 1A division last year but narrowly missing out on a spot in the Premier League, Newcastle’s Women’s Tennis Team returned to the courts this week with a fiery resolve that saw the team smash Liverpool John Moores in under two and a half hours. The debut game of the season for the 1sts got underway at The Northumberland Club in Jesmond, the team were joined for a second year by Sian Bayliss, Dani Pym, Natasha Mejzner and the newly recruited, Eleanor Bradshaw. Bradshaw, who hails from Yorkshire stands at 5’10 and brings her aggressive baseliner stayle to the team with a relentlessly powerful serve that takes no prisoners on the court – a standout at trials and her commitment to the team
so far have proved a big hit. Unsurprisingly, Bradshaw played at the University of Louisiana in America for two years on a scholarship, before returning to the UK and wisely choosing Newcastle. A great player with a strikingly similar style of play to current No.2 Dani Pym who has been undefeated the past two years – something Bradshaw has the potential to emulate over the next few years. The entire team is excited to see Eleanor’s true potential, knowing that only the sky is the limit for her. Walking into the centre donning our
After a brief warm-up and exchanging of team sheets, we got down to business and kicked things off across the three indoor courts with two singles and a doubles which saw Dani and Sian go on for singles whilst Bradshaw and Mejzner paired up against the Scousers. Bayliss had barely finished her first set with a fairly convincing 6-1 lead when the other two matches seemed to wrap up and shake hands. Both Pym and the girl’s doubles had rapidly defeated their respective opponents without dropping a game - otherwise known in tennis lin-
they were able to produce both power and control that allowed them to sail through the match effortlessly and without Mez needing to remove her tracksuit bottoms. Feeling suddenly like she was lagging behind, Bayliss stupidly tried to rush through her second set which resulted in bad decision making, poor shot selection and an increasingly frustrated Captain who couldn’t reign in her temper. Luckily, Bayliss was able to control herself in time to get the win 6-1 6-3 and breathed a sigh of relief – her rac-
red, white and blues, we were instantly met by the awaiting Liverpudlian team who had driven up the night before to avoid a ridiculously early wake-up call that the 4 hour drive requires. The Newcastle team is certainly looking forward to that one for the Away game. The drive was key for Liverpool’s team preparation ahead of the match as well.
go as a “double-bagel”. An achievement in itself. Pym used her power and strength to consistently drill the ball from side to side, opening up the court for her to execute the finishing shot perfectly almost every time. The new partnership between Bradshaw and Mejzner also proved effective as between them
quet would survive another game yet. Bradshaw and Mezjner followed on to play their singles games, with Bayliss and Pym attempting to watch whilst carrying out a doubles match. Both players clearly dominated the court in an assured and confident fashion – striking clean and effective groundstrokes that left the Liverpudlian side
“The partnership of Bradshaw and Mejzner sailed through the match with such ease that Mejzner didn’t need to remove her tracksuit bottoms”
bewildered and helpless. The girls were able to outplay the opposing side and wasted no time in getting the job done. The doubles also resulted in another tasty double-bagel, as Pym and Bayliss settled seamlessly into another outstanding game with a strategic combination of strong ground-play and polished interceptions at the net. With a total loss of a mere five games (four of which Bayliss provided) throughout all six matches, the scores spoke for themselves as a reflection of the outstanding performance from the team this week. Captain Bayliss exuded that she ‘just hopes we can maintain this throughout the rest of the season, which will see the team travelling away every week until Christmas to take on the likes of Manchester 1sts, Leeds 1sts, Sheffield 1sts and the recently promoted Durham 3rds’. In a season that promises a lot more competition from these top BUCSscoring Universities, there is a confidence that NUTC have a team in place that can once again take on the big names and hold it’s own to defend their title as Northern 1A winners.
$ À XUU\ RI EODGHV WRZDUGV YLFWRU\ Men’s Fencing Newcastle 1sts
135
Lancaster 1sts
74
By Huezin Lim at The Sports Centre A true gentlemen’s sport, fencing is one of the oldest martial arts in the world, originating from Spain in the 16th century. Understandably, it was a form of military training and it was developed into an aristocratic art during that period. As one of the original Olympic sports, fencing today has evolved to utilize three similar yet unique weapons, the Épée, foil and sabre. Each weapon has its own rules and strategies, in terms of which areas of the body can be hit for points. For example, when wielding Épée which is a thrusting weapon, the entire body can be hit, unlike the Foil where only the torso, neck and groin garner points. With the white uniform, the salutes and decorum, fencing has remained a humble and noble sport with very little flash or glamour but without a doubt, a sport which is physically challenging and mentally strenuous. The Newcastle fencing team is one of the strongest in the BUCS league, coming in second overall last year and with the new season starting off, the Newcastle Firsts team was pumped for their match again Lancaster University. There are only four fencers in the Newcastle team, with Sam Ridley and Danny Ming competing with all three blades. The order of play was foil, épée, and then sabre which was Newcastle’s decision, beneficial to the side as their strongest two weapons were épée and foil. In the foil fight, the battles began with confidence from the Newcastle team, rushing out to a 5-2 point lead with strong parries and lunges from Sam Ridley. It was clear from the start of the match that Lancaster was out of their league, Ming playing extremely well against both Chon Wong and Rifhan Ideris of Lancaster, bringing us out to a huge lead. During a short break, Ming
mentioned the importance of attacking during the right moments and finding
Spicer, stepped up and brought the fight to Sam Ridley, taking the lead 5 - 4 for
the Sabre fight and the match overall. Despite being one of the strongest
the key opportunities to make one’s move. Throughout the match, agility and versatility were highlighted time and time again by the Newcastle fencers in their ability to score points as well as recover from points that have been lost. As the match continued, Newcastle won both the épée and foil fights comfortably with margins of greater than 20 but with sabre as the final weapon, Lancaster’s forte, a complete sweep of the match was yet to be seen. As expected, Lancaster’s captain, Jonny
Lancaster for the first time in the match. The match went down to the wire, with both teams swapping points throughout. Spicer had a way of being incredibly quick but strong and precise at the same time which caught the Newcastle fencers off guard. With sabre clearly his speciality, the Newcastle coaches advised the fencers accordingly and the improvement was clear in the next few bouts. At 37-41, there was excitement between both camps but with clear minds and full hearts, Newcastle won
sports in Newcastle, the Fencing club is incredibly open to complete beginners, with challenging training sessions on Fridays, from 7 to 9pm. With enough effort and perseverance, there are opportunities to join the competitive team and represent the school. With the initial training regarding proper stance and quickly moving on to training with lunging and parrying, it will be a challenge for anyone. Speaking to the president of the club, Andrew Dixon, he mentioned that for
“The Newcastle fencing team is one of the strongest in the BUCS League, coming in second overall last year”
any fencer in a match, speed, distance and timing are key. He emphasized that the fencing club is not ‘all work and no play’ with incredible socials and the group being a very fun and close-knit team and family. It is an understanding of what sort of moves to use at the right timing which is essential. There also comes a point where talent and training comes together. One may be gifted with natural talents but with enough training, fencing is a martial art which can easily be honed and mastered. Playing with the right tactics as a team is also essential to winning the match as a team and, as seen against Lancaster, the Newcastle fencing team are truly capable of doing just that.
Sport
www.thecourieronline.co.uk Monday 20 October 2014 Issue 1296 Free
thecourieronline.co.uk/sport
Sports Editors: Peter Georgiev, Jonty Mawer & Huezin Lim Online Sports Editor: Josh Nicholson courier.sport@ncl.ac.uk | @Courier_Sport
Newcastle 103 - 54 Sunderland
Knights slash rivals in Tyne and Wear derby By Alex Hendley Newcastle went top of the Northern 1A British Universities and Colleges Sport (BUCS) league after the Knights won their opening game of the competition 103-54 against Sunderland University. The comprehensive victory last Wednesday never seemed in doubt, as Newcastle pushed forward from the first second to assert their clear offensive dominance, opening the scoring through Troy Baugh’s free throw before taking a 5-0 lead in the first couple of minutes, leaving Sunderland having to play catch up. The visitors struggled to get into the game as Newcastle’s athleticism and power took them to a comfortable 18-2 lead halfway through the first quarter, pleasing the gathering home support around them. However, the home side weren’t able to stretch their advantage further to begin with, as some invigorating words from the Sunderland bench spurred them on to score some impressive baskets, and pull the game back to 20-9. However, Newcastle never seemed out of control or over powered as they fought back to raise the score to 23-9 through a stunning three pointer from George Beard who was playing a great game under the lights. Knights Head Coach Ian Hewitt, however, was visibly irritated with the number of personal fouls his energetic side were committing in the first quarter, as Sunderland were virtually handed a way back into the game raising the score to 23-16 through some impressive play including a couple of quality free throws
from the away side’s Justas Seselgis, who was a menace to the Newcastle defence all night. The home team responded well to the Sunderland resurgence, however, and was able to increase the score to a more comfortable 29-16 at the end of an exciting first quarter. The trailing side made an explosive start to the second quarter much to the delight of the travelling support as captain Chris Scott fired in an exquisite three pointer that the Newcastle fans couldn’t help but applaud. This may have narrowed the margin to ten points, but it was merely seconds until the Knights upped the tempo to score three successive baskets through Jack Beresford and Chuck Duru the number
only dominated but made their opponents pay with an imposing 21 point lead. The performance in the second two quarters would be even better for Newcastle as players tired and gaps opened up in the defences, as an open start to the third quarter saw the score jump to 53-31 before the tenacious Jack Beresford was forced off through injury following a tumble underneath the basket. After speaking to Head Coach Ian Hewitt post-match, the tireless number seven should be out for no longer than a week, which is good news for both Jack and the team. The Knights will certainly need him to full health and fitness as soon as possible. Newcastle continued to dominate and
“The Knights turned up the gas and turned on the showboating with Cole and Baugh especially pleasing the crowd” ten, who never seemed to be away from the opposition basket and was having a lethal game. Sunderland weren’t short of chances as they counter attacked quickly but at times ineffectively, wasting multiple chances they had created through their speed on the break. The game could have been hugely different had Sunderland been as deadly in and around the three point line as the home side, who had managed to pull ahead 49-28 by the half time break. Team-talks and shooting practice aplenty, the interval allowed the crowd and the players to reflect on what had been an incredibly impressive first two quarters from Newcastle who had not
a two point basket from captain Tayo Oyefusi and a free throw from Duru took the score to 56-31 as it became apparent that a miracle was needed from the visiting side to catch the Knights now, despite a dogged display from Sunderland all night. With the score at 59-35, the basket of the game was scored by Maurice Cole after great linkup play with Baugh for a fantastic two-pointer which combined speed with skill and precision, sending the crowd into whoops of joy and appreciation for the talent on show. A couple of free throws from Sunderland’s Peter Gouda and Seselgis raised their team’s tally to 37, however within minutes the away side were staring
down the barrel of a 74-37 scoreline, after the Knights turned up the gas and turned on the showboating with Cole and Baugh especially pleasing the crowd, who had been able to relax and enjoy the victory for some time. Delight struck the home supporters when Baugh’s basket made the score 81-40, as the Knights had managed to double Sunderland’s score and the home side weren’t done there. Oyefusi, Cole, Baugh and Duru continued to boss the game, with the tricky Patterson influencing things immensely since his introduction. Nick Yii also made an impression on the court as the game was stretched to 90-42 as Sunderland’s Matt Balldesserra’s basket was surrounded by a a flurry of Newcastle efforts which by this point never seemed to miss. The game was concluded with a mini-revival from Sunderland, heaving their score up to a respectable 54, before Baugh finished the game as he began it, finishing in style to take Newcastle’s score over the 100 point mark, before netting two free throws to make it 103-54. Needless to say, after the game, Newcastle head coach Ian Hewitt was delighted with his team’s performance. “The chemistry was very good and we started with the energy that we wanted to go on with. The new guys coming in played well with the old guys that stayed and we did a great job offensively, and really put our stamp on the game defensively”, stated Hewitt. Meanwhile, the Knights will be looking to carry this momentum into their second round clash against Salford 1sts.
MANAGERIAL NIGHTMARES
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Illustration by Daisy Billowes
EN GARDE: BLADES IN ACTION
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