ENTERTAINMENT
CINEMA REVIEWS
BY JOHN CAMPBELL
THE NUN
Pardon my Protestant upbringing, but I have always considered nuns in head-to-toe black burkas – oops, I mean habits – to be creepy in the extreme. So this new-age horror flick, set in a monastery, was guaranteed to give me the heebie jeebies – except that it didn’t. Co-written by Australian James Wan, who has made a name for himself with the Saw movies, as well The Conjuring 1 and 2 (to which this is the prequel), there is no segment longer than five minutes that allows for plot development before some crazed, cadaverous nun with pointy devil’s teeth comes snarling out of the shadows. It’s like an oldfashioned chamber oaf horrors designed strictly for kids at a theme park. To this old-school lover of a good fright, one of the scariest-ever scenes in cinema was when the hand appeared from the grave in Brian De Palma’s Carrie. It worked so well because it came at the end, when we were least expecting it. The current fashion for quick-now!, encouraged by a mania for CGI that caters to a snap-chat generation unwilling to concentrate for longer than those five minutes that director Corin Hardy daren’t exceed, is tiresome in the extreme. Basically, the story, set in Romania, 1952, is about an exorcism. Taking time off from deciding where to hide its paedophiles, the Vatican sends a
THE FLIP SIDE Do you remember the interview given by John Millman after he’d beaten Roger Federer at the US Open? Almost apologetic, it seemed quintessentially Australian in its cap-doffing modesty – which is a vaguely annoying trait of this romcom’s protagonist. Ronnie (Emily Taheny) is going broke running her Adelaide restaurant and keeping up payments to her mother’s retirement village. Five years earlier, she was ready to fly
to London with Henry (Eddie Izzard), an English movie star, but he dumped her at the last minute. Back in Oz promoting his latest flick, Henry looks up Ronnie, who is now happily ensconced with Jeff (Luke McKenzie), a clone of Brett from Kath and Kim. Will the sparks fly again? Complicating the issue for both of them is the presence of Henry’s French ‘manager’, Sophie (Vanessa Guide), a sex kitten who makes Ronnie look like the plainest of Plain Janes. This is the sort of local movie that you are happy to get on board with, only to find that it doesn’t quite take off. The dialogue is natural and
STARS BY LILITH
priest (Demián Bichir) to sort out a problem in Romania. He will be assisted by a novice (Taissa Farmiga, sister of C2’s Vera – a cute touch). They pick up a handsome French Canadian peasant on the way (Jonas Bloquet), who provides some comic relief and is handy when the trio foolishly venture into catacombs in search of the mother superior. The art direction is suitably gothic, but there are far too few daytime shots. That the other sisters look like models from a glossy fashion zine is not in the least surprising, but as far as satanic possessions go, it’s not in the same street as Polanski’s Rosemary’s Baby.
ARIES: Mars in Aquarius ignites wild ideas, though with down-to-earth Virgo vibes operating you’ll know what to act on and which are simply mind fireworks going off. Just remember practical doesn’t mean dull, and there’s no need to get impatient when others don’t wholeheartedly share your fiery enthusiasms. TAURUS: Mercury in your house of fun and entertainment while Mars blasts full steam ahead in your business sector and Venus vamps into Scorpio could take this week on a whirlwind ride. If it all gets too much, call time out to top up your soul tank with select friends and simple pleasures.
well delivered but not sharp enough to get many laughs, the rhythm a little clunky and the set-ups contrived in a way that takes scant regard
of plausibility (I couldn’t believe that Jeff would invite the celebrity couple to stay the night in the burbs – or that they would accept). Not helping in establishing the narrative’s necessary conflict are the portrayals of both Henry and Sophie. They are meant to be seen as patronising snobs who regard their hosts as hicks, but I liked both of them and felt at times that they would have been fully justified in not being over-impressed by Ronnie’s dowdiness (she is a tiger at the bowling alley, which seems way out of character) and Jeff’s gaucheness (his unpublished novel is ridiculous). Where writer/director Marion Pilowsky’s film succeeds is in the performances of her cast. They mix’n’match well, with Izzard convincing as the louche actor and Taheny the woman who wants more from life.
GEMINI: Mercury in Virgo tends to be mentally sharp and emotionally sensitive, with feelings percolating near the surface. Best use of its energy? Simplifying life, clutter cleansing, and getting organised – especially with Venus in your wellness sector suggesting this week’s best times are likely to be found sharing healthy pursuits. CANCER: If people aren’t saying what they really mean, you’ll pick that up from body language and nonverbal clues, but don’t accuse – perhaps they’re not in touch with their feelings like you. Speaking of which, Mars in your house of chemistry and Venus in the sign of sizzle are cooking up a steamy week at Crab Casa… LEO: Venus and Mars both in fixed signs like yourself set off a control issue alert: someone else’s, or your own? Getting huffy and miffed over this week’s emotional surges won’t serve anyone so take deep breaths, walk it off, exercise, do whatever you need to cool down, chill out, and get a clearer perspective. VIRGO: : The recent trinity of sun, new moon and your planetary ruler Mercury in Virgo formed an auspicious start to your astrological year. Quick-thinking Mercury’s at its most analytical in your sign, but inclined to forget that people are often ruled by emotion rather than reason – something to take into consideration this week.
36 September 12, 2018 The Byron Shire Echo
MERCURY MOVING TO EARTHY VIRGO, FOLLOWED BY VENUS TO WATERY SCORPIO AND MARS TO AIRY AQUARIUS SUGGESTS CLASHING EMOTIONS AND IDEAS IN SEARCH OF PRACTICAL SOLUTIONS… LIBRA: Venus depth-diving into steamy Scorpio while Mars quantum leaps into mindy Aquarius sets the amorous planets somewhat at odds this week. Same for friends, neighbours, family and workmates, but try to reconcile differences now because next month doesn’t make it any easier. Remember too that endings come with new beginnings. SCORPIO: Venus the teamup planet coming and going in your sign for the rest of the year promises a variety of rides, including magic carpet, caravan of dreams, and rollercoaster. You’ll exercise quite the magnetic pull, with plenty of time to check out Central Casting’s romantic partners, business allies and social playmates for interesting coalitions. SAGITTARIUS: Needy beings taking forever to explain themselves is a Sagittarian turnoff. But Venus in your house of healing, forgiveness, and letting go suggests considering the long-term consequences of venting at annoying or irritating people this week, because while it’s easy to criticise, it’s equally easy to lose friends. CAPRICORN: Power plays, controlling behaviour, niggling and bickering over petty details… if this week gets messy, Capricorns have the ability to see the bigger picture, so widen your viewfinder. In more personal realms Venus in vamp mode is tricky, and you may have to teach people how you want to be treated. AQUARIUS: Aquarians can often spot opportunities in what others see as obstacles – especially with Mars settling into a long stint in your mentally agile, progressive sign of cutting-edge ideas. While the red planet can cause stress and pressure, this week could also bring clarity and compassion to a longstanding issue. PISCES: With their emphasis on organisation, order, and sensible spending this week’s Virgo vibes from your opposite sign on the zodiac wheel are nurturing and balancing for Pisceans. If you’re thinking dull and tedious, does increased efficiency that leaves you heaps more free time for earthy pleasures and Venusian pursuits really
sound that boring?
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