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Mindfulness in the Mayhem and some hard core horn Mandy Nolan
Mindfulness has been the wellbeing buzzword for the past few years, and there’s no better time to get some hands-on practice at allowing thoughts to come and go without judgment, at reducing reliance on colourful expletives and indulging in hardcore horn than Xmas holiday Byron Traffic. Yes, it’s awful. But you are going to have to face it. The question , grasshopper, is not when but How. So here we are. You and your family are trapped in a metal box. The hot sun is belting down. The traffic snakes through town, and backs up on the highway, like fat rolls spilling out the top of summer shorts. This is supposed to be relaxing. Leaving Byron, driving around Byron, and worst of all, approaching Byron offers travellers fresh torment and locals cause for alarm. Some experience full-blown lunacy. It is hard not to scream. To do an illegal u-turn and head home declaring that Byron is fucked. That you’ll never go there again. But my friends, it needn’t be that way. Remember what all the smug guru’s tell you? It’s all about choice.
If you do hit the occasional pedestrian then breathe, and let go. Nothing puts you more firmly in the moment than that surprise spontaneous connection with another human. Especially when their face is pressed up against the glass looking deeply into your eyes.
You can choose to get angry, or you can choose to let it wash over you. And guess what? Getting angry will not progress you in the queue. It will just ruin your day. And push your blood pressure through the roof. And scare the other occupants in your car. When you are paying huge rates or holiday rent for the privilege of coming to Byron, then you need to find your happy place. And when you find your happy place, it might have a sign that says NO VACANCY, but you have to deal with it. Otherwise you might want to consider going to Evans Head instead.
Right on trend So let me propose a radical concept: Byron traffic congestion isn’t a problem. It’s an esoteric opportunity for instant Mindfulness. That’s right. The more time you spend trapped doing nothing, the better at doing nothing you become. And right now, doing nothing well is on trend. And if you are in a car heading to Byron, you are going to have a whole lot of hot nothing at your fingertips. For those who may have forgotten, or who don’t give a shit, mindfulness is the skill of thinking you are do-
Car consciousness
Inspired, one of The Echo drudges decided to try out the technique. Photo Cristina Sharratt
ing something when you are actually doing nothing. We have mindfulness experts in our midst. People who have successfully done nothing for years. Now it’s your turn. There’s no better time to do nothing than when you are bumper to bumper heading into Byron. Let’s face it. Some days you’ll get up to a whole glorious hour of ‘nothing’. This should help you prepare for stage two of our mindfulness challenge, called
‘getting a park at the beach’.
Breathe – let go Car-based mindfulness is perfect. While it’s recommended you don’t close your eyes, those with heightened intuition and gold-star noclaim comprehensive insurance might want to give it a go. If you are in tune with ‘the flow’, you should be able to negotiate yourself through straggling backpackers crossing roundabouts with ease.
Okay, so you are seated in your car. The traffic is intense. Remember to let thoughts pass through your mind. Think of your thoughts as pedestrians. Or hitchhikers you refuse to pick up. Empty your mind and listen to the world around you. What can you hear? Bay FM on the radio. Messages buzzing through on your phone. Your children crying ‘how much longer’ in the back seat. The sound of someone hitting the brakes and gently sliding into your rear end. This is the soundtrack to enlightenment. Feel the power of nothing. You paid for this. You will learn a lot about yourself practising car consciousness. You will learn that you’re not a very nice person. That you respond badly to being confined in small spaces. That you are capable
of feeling violence to people you have never met. That for no rational reason most of your resentment and angst is directed towards Queenslanders. And the council. You will start to hate the council and Queenslanders with the same kind of vigour some express towards cane toads. You will start to think about golf clubs. You aren’t even past the industrial estate and you’re already experiencing murderous ideation. Mindfulness will teach you to accept things as they are. There’s nothing you can do because you are inconsequential. How you feel is irrelevant. You are not important. If you were you’d have a helicopter and you’d fly over the top of all these pricks. You are in the flow. Today you are but another tiny piece of plaque moving through the town’s blocked artery. Remember, being in the driver’s seat does not mean you are in control. The individual must surrender. It’s not about you. It’s about your wallet. And your wallet is in your pocket and it’s heading towards Byron. Your Wallet has arrived. Congestion is good for commerce.
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The Byron Shire Echo December 20, 2017 15