*Harvard Business Case: Heidi and Howard Roizen, http://pdjrnl.com/hroizen
Dominance and subordinance are intrinsic to human social relationships and are so embedded in our patterns of behavior that most people do not even notice the shifts they make to accommodate the duality of their roles. As if it were not complicated enough, it is not merely self-perceptions that matter, it is the perceptions and labels others place on us that play a role in the health of our diverse relationships. The labels we are consciously and unconsciously assigned by others and the assumptions they project also have a direct impact on the way we are treated and the way we respond. Dominance and subordinance are two sides of the same coin. For dominance to exist, subordinance must be its “kissing cousin.” And yet, I would contend that there are actually two
sides to the story on each side of the coin. How do I perceive my own dominance or subordinance and how do others perceive it? It doesn’t matter whether we are talking about Heidi/Howard Roizen in the classic Harvard Gender inequity Case Study*… the unfair treatment received by black NFL players… following Sheryl Sandberg’s request to “Lean In”…or indeed bemoaning the fact that there are fewer women in Congress and the Senate, it is an inescapable fact that the issue of dominance and subordinance permeates the diversity landscape and impacts our perspectives, our sense of privilege
and entitlement, or lack thereof, and the quality of our relationships with each other. The key question is: How much do we understand our own part in this daily theater? One thing I am clear about, whether I do it to myself or you do it to me, when my personal radar becomes focused on being a subculture member, I sometimes catch myself playing small and that drains my energy. Equally true is the fact that when I am living in my dominance, I can sometimes catch myself living large and being superior—and that is surely an energy drainer for other people. How do the four sides of your coin play out? PDJ
Dr. Helen Turnbull is the CEO of Human Facets, LLC and a world recognized thought leader in global inclusion and diversity. Her latest book is “Blind Spots: A conversation with Dr. Turnbull about Unconscious Bias.” See her TEDx presentation on “The Illusion of Inclusion” at http://pdjrnl. com/tedxhelen.
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