1 minute read
The shame of domestic abuse
IT CAN’T HAPPEN HERE
The shock and the shame of lockdown’s most terrible secret. More than two women die every week in the UK as a result of domesti c abuse
Domestic abuse counts for a quarter of all violent crime in the UK and two women die every week as a result of domestic abuse. Lockdowns are not helping, according to a report by the North Surrey Domestic Abuse Service, a charity under the Citizens Advice Elmbridge West umbrella.
Certain communities or groups are less likely to report domestic abuse and engage with support services. One such group is affl uent women. It could be that there is a perceived stigma among some women. Perhaps some women feel a sense of shame in requiring help, or feel that they are partly to blame. Others may believe that speaking out is letting their families down. Sometimes victims do not register that the treatment they are receiving from a partner counts as domestic abuse. Manipulative behaviour or coercive control is a form of abuse. Imagine being constantly belittled and sworn at. What if your partner continually called you on your mobile, harassed you through texts or social media, controlled your bank account and passwords, or stopped you leaving the house?
Since March 2020 and the fi rst lockdown, the North Surrey Domestic Abuse Service has seen an increase in demand for its confi dential advice and emotional and practical support. The cases have been more complex in nature than ever before, due to survivors being locked down with their abuser. With school closures, children have also had more exposure to abusers and have witnessed escalating abuses, both in terms of severity and frequency, at the same time as the routes to support and opportunities to seek help have been reduced.
Sometimes a survivor will say that with a partner in such a position of responsibility or status at work, no-one would believe them. You will be believed and helped to make the change you need. n
