Issue 26, Volume 18
The CNM Chronicle Sexuality Issue 26 Volume 18 College Newspaper banned from Central New Mexico Community College 3-26-13.
Chronicle The CNM /cnmchronicle N e w a l M e x Sexual Roundtable Special Feature Pg 6-7 Volume 18 | Issue 26 C e n t r thecnmchronicle.wordpress.com i c o c o m @cnmchronicle u n i t y c o March 26, 2013 l l e g e m s|P w e N PTK g 2 Fe Vib atu ere On |P g1 0 SM12 D B | Pg Safe e r u t Fea GRAPHICS BY SCOTT M. ROBERTS 2 | The CNM Chronicle NEWS March 26, 2013 Alpha Upsilon Chi to hold elections in person, online By Daniel Johnson Investigative Reporter The Alpha Upsilon Chi chapter of Phi Theta Kappa will hold officer elections in person and electronically to ensure the inclusion of more members, Levi Turner, chapter president and Biochemistry major, said. The elections will open March 29 with an in-person event that will include speeches by the candidates. Voting will close on the evening of March 31, Turner said. The candidates’ speeches will be recorded and uploaded to the internet for members who were unable to attend the event, he said. After poor turnout for the first officer election, as reported in the article “Empty Seats” in volume 18, issue 19, Turner said he felt that making the voting process more accessible would enable members see PTK on page 9 President: Tracy LaForteza, an Office Technology major, is running unopposed. Why she is running: After Being a member for two years she wanted to give back group, she said. If elected: LaFortenza wants to create fundraising for conventions and events and make Alpha Upsilon Chi Chapter a nationally recognized chapter again, she said. Treasurer: Brendan Miller, a Business major, is running unopposed. Why he is running: He wanted to be more involved in the organization and with the education and skills he has, the position of Treasurer seemed to be a great way be an active member, he said. If elected: he would find ways to get members more active, he said. Vice President of Secretary: Darlene Campbell, Scholarship: Gabriel Roybal, a Political Science and a Paralegal Studies major, Biotechnology major, is is running unopposed. running unopposed. Why he is running: After Reading “Empty Seats” he realized current members needed to be more active, he said. If elected: He wants to Improve member attendance while getting more information out about the activities the organization does, Roybal said. Why she is running: The position of secretary allows her to show dedication without to be in the public eye, she said. If elected: She would push harder to get members active, Campbell said. PHOTOS BY DANIEL JOHNSON ECOS to host student org event By Daniel Johnson Investigative Reporter Student art show opens next month By Adriana Avila Managing Editor The Executive Council of Students will launch the first Community Day to help communities around CNM campuses, Stephen Martos, ECOS president and Criminal Justice major, said. Community Day is an opportunity for members of all student organizations to volunteer with non-profit groups in the city, he said. The event is scheduled for April 6, 2013 and anyone interested in participating should meet at the Food for Thought cafeteria on see ECOS on page 9 Main campus at 8 a.m., he said. “We would like to make stronger connections among the student organizations on campus and do a greater service to our community and the student body,” he said. The volunteers will travel to off-campus sites and perform different jobs to benefit the surrounding community, Martos said. Some locations available for the service projects are a community garden, food and clothing banks that assist the needy and Habitat for Humanity. PHOTO COURTESY CNM ART DEPARTMENT “Vortex” by Augustina Wear is one of many pieces that will be featured in next month’s art show. It takes more than the ability to create pieces of art to be an artist, which is why the Art Careers Concern class, taught by Danielle Miller, is hosting an arts exhibition in April, Ray Sedillo, a Fine Arts major, said. The exhibition “Known, Unknowns,” will be at the Downtown Contemporary Gallery, located at 105 Fourth St. SW, from April 5 to 26, with an opening reception on April 5 from 6 to 8 p.m., he said. The exhibition is intended to get the students recognized as artists and their artwork noticed to help them create a career in art, he said. “It’s a show to get artists out there. The whole thing about the class is the career side of art,” Sedillo said. Students from the class organized the exhibition in the same way as a professional exhibition would be and completed many of the tasks in a gallery, Sedillo said. “There’s making the press release, of course, and then there’s the installation, where it’s just making the studio nice, putting up the work and stuff like that,” he said. Along with preparing the gallery and informing the masses, the other see ART on page 9 March 26, 2013 To submit items for Campus Bulletin, please email news item with a maximum of 150 words to email@example.com or call 224-4755. Phi Theta KappaAlpha Upsilon Chi Calendar AYX will be holding meetings and events throughout the term. Unless otherwise noted, events will be held in portable building ST-12A, portables east of Ken Chappy hall and south of the Student Resource Center on Main campus. • March 27 - Free pizza lunch social, Main campus Cafeteria, 1 – 4 p.m. • March 29 – Meeting, 1:30 – 4 p.m. • April 16-18 Book Exchange, outside Main campus Cafeteria, 9 a.m. – 3 p.m. BULLETIN Law Access New Mexico Offers Free Individual Consultations The CNM Chronicle |3 Be the fit...be Honeylicious! CNM’s Program is trying to raise $1,000 for a short film “Honeylicious,” about two unlikely friend that end up fighting for their lives in a road trip/ bromance/ dramedy adventure. It’s Pineapple Express meets Collateral meets Fargo. Please check out our kickstarter video and help us create our film. Visit www. k i c k s t a r t e r. c o m / projects/421290 428/ honeylicious-a-shortfilm-0?ref=live Allocation Board Accepting Membership Film Applications The Student Allocation Board is now accepting member applications. Allocation Board meets monthly to distribute money among student organizations for events, activities, travel and equipment. Members must have a minimum 2.5 GPA, be enrolled for at least three credit hours and have completed six credit hours at CNM. For more information contact James Roach at firstname.lastname@example.org. Low income Working directly | The CNMCNM Chronicle 10 students who have legal with CNM’s VetSuccess issues or questions have free civil legal service available to them. CNM has contracted with Law Access New Mexico for the provision of legal services to CNM students who fall within 200 percent of the federal poverty guidelines. Students may call Law Access directly – 998-4529 and identify themselves as CNM students; or Students may contact a Connect Achievement Coach to sign up for on-campus individual consultations. Law Access Attorney Sandi Gilley comes to each campus twice a month to meet with students. For more information about this free program, contact Law Access, NM directly at 998-4529 or speak to Connect Achievement Coach Chioma Heim at 224-4080. Veterans College Achievement Network (Veterans CAN) Action is Our Middle Name” CNM’s Conservative Action Group is moving to bring programs of enlightenment to CNM campuses, such as speakers on the US Constitution and free market. Come help us plan a student debate on gun control at CNM. For more information, call Dan at 304-0244. Student Film Club Looking for New Members DAT, a student film group, is looking for new members. The group creates student-led films. Students interested in making films are welcome. Students do not have to be in the film program to participate. Email Madison Coss at email@example.com for more information. Job Club Accepting New Members CNM’s job club is open to students and graduates. Hosted by Job Connection Services, Tuesday at Two on Main Campus, SSC Room 207. Provides weekly discussion, opportunities to network and advisement from employment specialists. For more information go to cnm. edu/depts/advisement/ job-connection/ employment-workshops. on Campus program, Veterans CAN is a near-peer AmeriCorps program designed to offer critical supports to student veterans and their dependents. The program offers specific, individualized guidance related to your veteran benefits such as the GI Bill, transferring and appealing college credits, tutoring, housing, and/ or any additional support you need to be a successful student. AmeriCorps member Nicholas Aragon is located in the Student Activities Office at CNM’s main campus: (505) 224-4342 firstname.lastname@example.org Stop in today! ADVERTISE Job Connection Services’ Employability Workshops are offered on alternating weeks during spring semester, and provide CNM students and graduates with quality instruction in résumé writing and interview strategies. Bring your questions, and let our staff help you prepare for the job search process. For workshop locations and schedules, go to cnm.edu/ jobworkshops. Free Résumé and Interview Workshops 12.1 GHz Ada Exce Free Bus and Parking Passes Current students qualify for free general parking pass or AbqRide bus pass. Name, schedule, and student ID number are required. Register online for free general parking stickers go to myCNM and go to the transporation section. Main: Student Activities/ ID office | Montoya and Westside: Student ID office | South Valley and Rio Rancho: Admissions office Advanced Technology Center. HP L per driv Incl mor For with ECOS Accepting New Members The Executive Council of Students is accepting new members. ECOS meets every Friday at 3:30 p.m. in ST12-A. For more information email email@example.com. Leat $29. LIZ C Doc Qua MIN RSP 3 bi from exce at $ RSP Man larg aski or 8 Corrections To submit corrections, please email corrected items to firstname.lastname@example.org or call 224-4755. • In Volume 18, Issue 25 “Where are they now: Gadie Shwartz,” should have included the following paragraphs: “After taking some time to refocus, Schwartz enrolled in NMSU and graduated with high honors, a 3.65 gpa and a bachelor degrees in Government and Journalism, with a minor in International Relations. Earning those degrees was also because of his experience at CNM, he said.” • In Volume 18, Issue 25 “Math League gets its π on” should have stated that STEM-UP tutor is present to provide help. • In Volume 18, Issue 25 “Vortex gets that Motherf**ker with the Hat,” “Math League gets its π on” and “Public Access offers students opportunity to produce television shows” should have been attributed to The CNM Chronicle. Bom sma cost RSP Pan mas aski Two whi RSP 10 | The CNM Chronicle Research Study UNM is recruiting women with asthma for research study. If interested please contact study coordinator at 925-6174 or email@example.com. edu Classifieds ADVERTISEMENT Feed the Hood Farms Organic greens for sale: 1/2 lb for $3 ¼ lb for $1.50 Multiple payment options are available. Contact Loren at 261-0031 or firstname.lastname@example.org. “NEC Hea 2-he 198 May $80 com December 4, 2012 NEED EMPLOYEES? WANT TO SELL SOMETHING? ADVERTISE WITH US. Bruce Warrington Phone: 505.224.3255 Fax: 505.224.4757 For Sale Contact Information CNM Chronicle 525 Buena Vista SE, STE. 12B Albuquerque, NM 87106 Classifieds may be submitted via email to: AdsCNMChronicle@gmail.com C W N ot 2 an $35 det aol. 2 lo in M on s ima 2 Po like 800 Mou vint sma con rep aol. Deadline 12 p.m. Thursday prior to publication Pricing FREE to CNM students, faculty and staff up to 15 words.$0.40 per word after. 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Nee Rob Th Sho goin 10 t Furn Laya 505 4 | The CNM Chronicle The CNM Chronicle 525 Buena Vista SE, ST 12B Albuquerque, NM 87106 Fax: 224.4757 Copyright © 2012 The CNM Chronicle | This newspaper, its design and its contents are copyrighted. editorial OPINION Letter to the Editor March 26, 2013 In response to Volume 18, Issue 25 “Public Access offers students opportunity to produce television shows” The City of 120 hours of local proAlbuquerque is being sued gramming, which means by Quote Unquote for ille- not been previously aired galities in the process in content. the awarding the contract Why would the City for operation of Public award two more channels Access Channels 26 and 27. to a group that left the first Quote Unquote ranked channel black, and fifth in the nation for local why are they so reluctant programming before they to enforce the national and were tossed to the curb. I local requirements of runmean this literally - armed ning a Public Access station? guards were sent to chase Why are all the them out four days before APS sports shows Quote the contract expired. Unquote worked so tireThe least qualified com- lessly to produce and air no petitor of six, uPublic, was longer available? awarded the contract after I ask the Chronicle to being given the ED Channel dig a little deeper in your and never providing content. reporting - there is far more The Cable Franchise to this story than some and Hearing Board, the sole anonymous propaganda puff legal authority for deciding piece that appears to have the use of cable subscriber been put out by uPublic. funds, voted to award the Please give Quote Unquote contract to Quote Unquote. a chance to speak as well. The City voted 5-4 to give Lara Dale the contract to uPublic. Concerned and Two of the three chan- Free Speechcitizen Activist nels they were awarded have been black the whole Want to share your opinion time and the third has re- on a recent article? runs and infomercials when Send a Letter to the Editor: it is not airing national feeds email@example.com. *All letters subject to editing for from Link TV. The contract requires length, spelling and grammar. | 224.4755 Jyllian Roach editor-in-chief firstname.lastname@example.org Adriana Avila managing editor email@example.com Steve “Mo” Fye copy chief firstname.lastname@example.org newsroom | 224.4758 Daniel Johnson investigative reporter email@example.com Shaya Rogers features reporter firstname.lastname@example.org Rene Thompson staff reporter email@example.com Jamison Wagner staff reporter firstname.lastname@example.org Position Available staff reporter email@example.com production | 224.4752 Jonathan Gamboa production manager firstname.lastname@example.org Scott M. Roberts art director email@example.com Jasmine Chavez layout designer firstname.lastname@example.org business | 224.3255 EDITORIAL CARTOON BY SCOTT M. ROBERTS Bruce Warrington business manager email@example.com Jodie Darrell-Salazar ad-sales manager firstname.lastname@example.org Brandy Valles distribution manager email@example.com Shanee Sanchez distribution assistant firstname.lastname@example.org advisory Sun Cat Chit-Chat By Shaya Rogers Features Reporter PHOTOS BY RENE THOMPSON What is your favorite sexual position? | 224.3636 Jack Ehn faculty adviser email@example.com editorial board Jyllian Roach Adriana Avila Jonathan Gamboa opinion Views expressed in the Opinion page are those of the individual writer and do not necessarily represent the beliefs of all CNM Chronicle staff. advertising “I like to be on top.” “Sixty-Nine.” Chris James, Construction Mgmt. Serena Godinez, Psychology “I don’t know, I’d say doggie style.” Michael Morgensen, Criminology To submit an ad, or for more information, please contact Jodie Darrell-Salazar at AdsCNMchronicle@gmail.com. corrections The CNM Chronicle strives to publish only accurate and truthful information. If you believe you have found an error, please email at firstname.lastname@example.org or call 224.4755. circulation The CNM Chronicle is printed by Vanguard Publishing Co. and circulated free of charge to all CNM campuses and the surrounding community. “Sixty-Nine. It’s giving and receiving at the same time.” Latonya Walker, Surgical Tech “The figure eight is my favorite sexual position.” Lester Joseph, Architecture “I’m a missionary guy, straight up.” Michael Shoham, General Studied March 26, 2013 RESOURCES The CNM Chronicle |5 Shopping with ideals By Shaya Rogers Features Reporter Sexuality Resources Here is a list of sexuality-related resources in the Albuquerque area. • American Civil Liberties Union of New Mexico 266-5915 aclu-nm.org • Birthright of Albuquerque, Inc. 3228 Candelaria Road NE 262-2235 • Living in a capitalist society often means that people must vote with their money. It can be difficult to find businesses that support beliefs that one holds dear. To ease the headache of such a search, the CNM Chronicle has put together a list of businesses that self-identify as LGBT-friendly and a list of businesses that support marriage between only a man and a woman. This list is a small sampling of businesses on either side of the fence. Most businesses will openly state their policy on the LGBT community either on their website or when directly phoned and asked. Businesses identified as supporting marriage between a man and a woman were identified through policymic.com. Businesses that identify as LGBT-friendly Buffalo Exchange Clothing Stores Off Broadway Blackbird Buvette Flying Star Betty’s Bath and Day Spa Hotel Parq Central Nativo Lodge Businesses that support marriage between one man and one woman Chick-Fil-A Urban Outfitters Wal-Mart Salvation Army Exxon Mobile Blake’s Lotaburger 891-3647 commonbondnm.org Common Bond New Mexico Online Community Center • New Mexico AIDS Services 625 Truman Street. NE 938-7100 nmas.net • Rape Crisis Center of Central New Mexico 9741 Candelaria Road NE 266-7711 rapecrisiscnm.org • Transgender Resource Center of New Mexico 4100 Silver Ave. SE 200-9086 tgrcnm.org New Mexico’s LGBT history in a timeline 1976 – The Juniper and Metropolitan Community Church holds Albuquerque’s first Gay Pride Parade, drawing 25 participants. 1981 – New Mexico Gay Men’s Chorus, then known as the Brash Ensemble, is founded. 1983 – Albuquerque Social Club opens. 1986 – New Mexico Gay Rodeo is founded. 1997 – Inaugural Miss Pride Albuquerque pageant is held. 2004 – Victoria Dunlap, a Sandoval County clerk, issues marriage licenses to same-sex couples. 2004 – A district court judge issues a restraining order against Dunlap, forbidding her to issue further same-sex licenses. 2008 – Two bills, one that would prohibit same-sex marriage and another that would allow it, both fail in the legislature. 2009 – Legislation to allow same-sex couples domestic partnership is voted down by the State Senate. 2010 – A second domestic partnership bill is defeated by a Senate committee. 2010 – A constitutional amendment to limit marriage to opposite-sex couples is defeated. 2010 – A Santa Fe judge rules that the same-sex marriage licenses issued in 2004 were invalid. 2011 – The New Mexico Attorney General issues an opinion that same-sex marriages performed in other states should be recognized in New Mexico. 2013 – A resolution to put a constitutional amendment allowing same-sex marriage on the 2014 ballot was defeated. 2013 – A resolution to put a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage on the 2014 ballot was defeated. 2013 – Santa Fe Mayor David Coss announces that a resolution to recognize same-sex marriage will be introduced at the next city council meeting. 2013 – Two same-sex couples file a lawsuit against the state after being denied marriage licenses in Albuquerque. Advertisement 10 a.m.- 4 p.m. Got Old Phones? Visit any of our upcoming events to CNM Main Campus April 1-4 Montoya Campus: April 8-9 Outside of Building H WS1 Entrance Student Services Commons Area Get paid for smart phones Keep old phones out of landfills Questions? Call 505.819.0610 West Side Campus: April 10-11 GRAPHICS BY SCOTT M. ROBERTS Cinemark Theatres 6 | The CNM Chronicle A RAINBOW March 26, 2013 Emily Sarvis Biology Major Bisexual By Jyllian Roach Editor-in-Chief Editor’s note: this interview was originally three and a half hours in length. For space concerns the interview was edited to include only the most relevant information. Sexual identification is a personal and often varied thing. The CNM Chronicle sat down with a group of people with varying sexual backgrounds to discuss what life is like for them as people in Albuquerque. How did you realize what your sexual identity was? Sarvis: “I was eight or nine. I first realized I wasn’t straight actually watching “Star Trek: Voyager” and I realized I wanted to be with Seven-of-Nine and Captain Janeway. I don’t think I really knew what it meant though until about middle school.” Jensen: “Well I would say it’s kind of weird for me because I, I thought I was straight until I was 31 years old, but I always knew that I found men - certain men - were attractive without being attracted to them. It wasn’t until I had a same-sex experience when I was 31 that I was like ‘oh. This is not nearly as bad as I would’ve thought. When I first realized I could be sexually attracted to men I was like ‘I’m gay then,’ but then I was like ‘no, I’m not gay. I love women. I love having sex with women. I think women are gorgeous’ and that’s when I was like ‘Ohhh. You can be bisexual.’ Then I realized that I’m more interested in relationships with men than women. So I’m bisexual leaning more toward men, now.” Galvez: “When I grew up, you just were and nobody and Brandon Scott Jensen Graphic Designer Bisexual you were expected to have specific roles. So from really young - I had a mock wedding at six – so from a really young age I just always identified as heterosexual, although I do think many very women are attractive. That’s just kind of how it’s always been. I don’t think I ever really had this dawning of ‘I just want to be with men’ it’s just always been that way. Silva: “I kind of feel the same way. I can’t really pinpoint at what are or certain moment in life where I said ‘Yeah, I’m straight now’ but I can identify beauty in both sexes. Even though I’m not gay and don’t have any tendencies I can see men and see beauty of a physical body or whatever.” Slattery: “For me, I knew on some level from about the age of four. I didn’t actually, and then I started cross-dressing secretly when I was about 13. I grew up in a very conservative religion in a small town so it actually took me longer to realize than it would have, because I had gotten the impression that if I was transsexual I had to be attracted to men and I’m not very much. I had a friend whose boyfriend was also Trans and I didn’t know this until early college, but I ended having talks about it. When I was 20 I finally had private internet access so I looked and I was like ‘Wow, so there’s a lot more variation here and it’s allowed. Ok good.’ The other thing is, I don’t know that the church I grew up in has this formal of a stance on it but I always figured that if I even acknowledged it I was going to go to hell. When I was 21 I spent a week where I did nothing but try to figure this out, praying, being willing to accept and then basically it was like ‘Oh yeah, I am a woman.’ Elizabeth Galvez Small Business Owner Heterosexual clothing it feels really nice on your skin. So very recently what I’ve been talking about and thinking about for a very long time I realized that it’s ok, I realized the fact that I’m heterosexual and Trans. I don’t like who I have to portray as a man, it’s not me, I want to be sensitive.” Silva: “So you’re attracted to women and you’ve going to have the surgery?” Wells: “Not fully. I love my penis. It’s so awesome to just stand up and stare at the night sky while you’re peeing. It also has other advantages.” Galvez: “So what is it that you’re planning to do? Is it a partial transition?” Wells: “Yeah. In about a year, I’m going to start hormones. I’m going to see my doctor in April and I’m going to start therapy which is required to take hormones. Ogden: “I really can’t give you a pinpoint; I just always knew I wasn’t like the rest of the boys.” de la Cruz: “I can pretty much pinpoint the exact moment. I was in catechism because I was brought up Roman Catholic. Going through the first Holy Communion things and there was this nun and she was so banging. She was just gorgeous; I was just really drawn to her for some reason. That was the moment. I still sleep with men sometimes, but having a relationship with men, I’ve tried. But it’s just not there. As far as coming out and stuff, I really didn’t need to because I have friends over, the door would be locked. My mom is totally cool with everything. My sister and I are both gay and my other sister just got married to a man.” Silva: “Something I don’t understand is that you identify as lesbian but you said you enjoy having sex with men. Doesn’t Cesar Silva Engineering major Heterosexual that make you lesbian?” de la Cruz: “No. That’s the thing. I’ve tried dating guys. Identify as lesbian because I have relationships with women.” Jensen: “Whereas I, there is a 99.5557 percent chance that I will never be in a relationship with a woman again, but I identify as bisexual because there’s no word like homo-relationship or homo-amorous. But I consider myself bisexual because I enjoy sex with both.” Wells: “There are so many labels. There’s no way to look at another person for the first time and not have a snap judgment as to something about them.” What have your experiences been as far as negativity goes? Ogden: “I was in this sort of redneck town, working at a restaurant and I never had a problem until I worked a few graveyard shifts. The drunken cowboys would come in. One night, this guy was talking s**t – and he wasn’t even in my section— he could just see me. Another server came to me and said ‘Evan, stay away from that table. They’re saying a lot of f**ked up s**t about you. I’m like ‘I wasn’t gonna go over there; I’m busy over here.’ After that, I wasn’t allowed to work graveyards anymore. Because of them. The general manager said ‘Evan, I don’t want you to work graveyards anymore. I know you were just filling in a shift and being nice, but I don’t want you to do it anymore, because of this incident.’ There was no incident. The only other time I had a problems is when I was managing one night at another restaurant. Another gay guy was serving and there were problems with rednecks giving I didn’t go fulltime until I was 29 but I came out to my parents about a year after I figured it out. It is probably worth noting that the only relationship I’ve had happened after I went full time.” Wells: “Basically since I was little I’ve felt different but I could never figure out in what way it was just a lingering feeling. I was raised Jehovah’s Witness which might explain –“ “There are so many labels. There’s no way to look at another person for the first time and not have a snap judgment as to something about them.” Galvez: “The rebellion?” Wells: “Fallen angel all the way. Personally, I didn’t do much dressing up when I was young. At a certain point in my life I met someone who let me know that she, as a woman, thought it was incredibly sexy to see a man with certain features in panties, stockings, garter belts, so on and so forth. Personally, any time I’ve dressed up – for me, it’s the clothes. Oh god. But really, I’ve never felt right putting on make-up and a wig in a male body because this is my male body. I feel comfortable with March 26, 2013 OF SEXUALITY The CNM Chronicle |7 Ben Wells former culinary arts major Male to Female pre-op Transsexual/Heterosexual him problems. So I walk up to the table and they’re like ‘We don’t want him waiting on us, he’s a fa**ot.’ And I’m like ‘I’m sorry, he’s the only server on right now. Either he’ll wait on you or can go, or you can have me wait on you, but I’m also gay.’ They went with me, actually.” de la Cruz: “I don’t think I’ve had any negative experiences in Albuquerque, Albuquerque’s pretty cool. Albuquerque is pretty accepting. But I’ve had friends or people I’ve just met who assume I like them just because I’m gay. I’m just like ‘just because I’m lesbian and you have a vagina does not make you attractive. It does not work that way.” Slattery: “The crazy thing is that this is not with strangers. By far the most profound negative experience I’ve had was with my younger brother. I had not explicitly planned to come out to him, this was about three years after I came out to my parents, and I was living at my parents place because I had just gotten a job and didn’t have enough money to live on my own. He yelled at me at some point about how he thought I was being more feminine to impress a friend of mine and I just blew up at him. I said ‘No, this is about me.’ He did not speak to me for five years. We’re mostly on speaking terms now, but he never calls me and we never see each other unless we’re both visiting our parents at the same time.” Wells: “My mother told me she’d never talk to me again.” Silva: “When my niece came out my sister was crying and blaming herself and asking what she could have done differently. But all the men in my family were cool with it. My Anne Slattery former Student Male to Female Transsexual/Lesbian Evan Ogden former student Homosexual Adri de la Cruz Psychology major Lesbian Wells: “I feel as though, if you don’t make yourself known, then you don’t get respect for who you are. But at the same time, you don’t have to be so loud about it that everyone’s telling you to shut up.” Jensen: “Because there are such a clear inequality, people have to be loud about it.” Wells: “That’s the only way you can defend.” de le Cruz: “When I was in high school I participated in the gay straight community thing and I hate it. I will never do it again, I think. I go to protests sometimes, but I can’t handle a lot of the people there. They are all about being gay. Me being a lesbian is just a part of who I am. I don’t wear rainbows. I’m not like ‘Oh my god! I’m f**king gay!’ I’m my own person with my own intellectual properties and the fact that I’m a lesbian doesn’t have to be all of it. Be who you are as an individual.” What does everyone think about the use of the phrase ‘that’s gay’ about something negative? sister blamed herself for how prissy she made her daughter and how she bashed men.” Jensen: “I worked at a retail store, and I had issues with customers because I don’t put up with s**t from anyone, but never anything about sexuality. Then I moved to a store in the northeast heights and in the span of five months, maybe three months, I got called a f**king fa**ot by various ages, races and sexes at least 10 times. I actually ended up getting fired because I wouldn’t put up with that kind of s**t and I would end up ripping people a new asshole whenever they would say that stuff to me. The first time I was just like ‘Really? Was I just called that?’ but then after that I would get up in people’s faces, I’d kick them out of the store, but I got fired because I wasn’t providing good customer service.” Have you had any problems with others trying to tell you what your sexuality should be? Wells: “My mom.” Jensen: “All. The. Time.” Sarvis: “I feel like a lot people assume that at one point, you’re going to choose. Like ‘you’re really not into both, at some point you’re going to choose. You’re gonna get married, Emily. You’re gonna have kids and live a nice, very straight life.’ Like this is just a phase.” Jensen: “People ask me ‘Are you still bi?’” Silva: “Are you saying that you never change? That you always just stay gay, bi, straight?” Jensen: “Well, a lot of people’s sexuality is fluctuating.” Slattery: “I think a lot of people have trouble recognizing that the commonality here is “I don’t wear rainbows. I’m not like ‘Oh my god! I’m f**king gay!” that everybody who doesn’t fit the heteronormative paradigm – Do you think there which is that there are two and should be a place for only two genders, two and only hetero people? two sexes and that they are only attracted to each other.” Galvez: “I do because the amount of people who want to embrace or are open to everyone having the same rights; we should be welcome.” Jensen: “We need our allies.” Silva: “I don’t think it’s necessary. I think it’s overkill.” Jensen: “I disagree thoroughly. We need out allies. I think we need our allies to be in the trenches, so to speak. I do believe we should have straight people What about the people involved.” who say bisexualGalvez: “Two ity does not exist? years ago they were Jensen: “My brother con- having a karaoke stantly tells me ‘Oh, I believe contest at Sidewinders. bisexual people exist, you’re I don’t go to bars just not one of them.’ He because I work in one. says ‘You’re just not bisexual, But I wanted to go and you’re gay.’ try for the karaoke contest Actually, this has been most and someone said to me ‘Well surprising; most of the gay com- you’re straight.’ So? I can still munity will not accept bisexu- sing? They said ‘No, I don’t ality in general. I served on the think you’d be welcome board of an LGBT group; they there.’” didn’t care about representing Jensen: “That’s not true.” the bisexual community. Galvez: “It’s not, I Even though there’s a huge know the D.J. there, and bisexual community both he’d be totally acceptcloseted and out.” ing. But it made me feel Sarvis: “I’ve been uncomfortable. told that a lot too. That As much as the it doesn’t exist.” LGBT community Galvez: “I don’t wants to be embraced see that there is a place by the rest of the comin society, as it is now, munity on a whole, they for bisexual people also need to be willbecause everyone always ing to embrace the hetero says you have to be one way community.” or another.” Ogden: “I hate that term.” Wells: “Or when people say ‘Why are you acting like a girl?’ It pisses me off. What’s wrong with being a woman?” Ogden: “And then they’ll turn around and say ‘I’m straight’ to mean ‘I’m good.’’ de la Cruz: “That’s a big Is it possible that some thing now in comedy especially. Are you active in the people are louder about People say awful, crude things LGBT community their sexuality because and others laugh about it so in Albuquerque? there is this assumption then they think it’s ok to say it that everyone is hetero? and they don’t necessarily mean Slattery: “My activism to offend people but it’s because is being forthright and honest Galvez: “I never we, as people, support that kind about who I am.” assume that.” of sh**ty media.” Galvez: “Well they don’t Jensen: “I do. I assume have a straight section in the most people are straight until LGBT community.” they tell me otherwise.” GRAPHICS BY SCOTT M. ROBERTS 8 | The CNM Chronicle Saying no: Why some choose abstinence By Shaya Rogers Features Reporter STUDENT LIFE come along when it’s supposed to,” she said. When she does start dating, she said she does not mind if the person she is with is a virgin or not, as long as the person respects her beliefs and has similar values. “I don’t really think it matters to me just as long as they’re on the same page as me and they understand where I’m coming from and they don’t pressure me about it,” she said. She does not feel much pressure from others because she has good support group among her family and friends, she said. “No matter what, I’m proud that I’m a virgin and I’m not embarrassed of it, there’s nothing to be ashamed of just because I’m not that experienced in that area of my life yet,” Cowboy said. March 26, 2013 Jaden Cowboy, a senior at Native American Community Academy High School, said she is committed to remaining a virgin until marriage because she wants sex to be meaningful and special. “I just think it’s something really special and you should wait and share it with somebody that you really care about and that you love,” she said. Cowboy said she thinks people her age are too focused on sex and should let it come naturally. “I think they take it too lightly, for younger people my age, I think they just do it just to do it, some do it out of love, I’m not sure, but I feel like they just rush it,” she said. American society is sexually driven and sexual references included in movies, music and media Advertisement can make it seem like people should be having sex all the time, she said. “I feel like there is too much because it puts a lot of pressure on how we are supposed to be, that we should be doing it,” she said. Seeing sex all around her just makes her feel more proud of the promise she has made to herself, she said. “I feel like it’s part of me, part of who I am and I wouldn’t want to change it just to be like everybody else,” she said. She does not date and does not think dating should be an important part of her life yet, she said. Looking for someone to share herself with is not a priority and she wants to leave it alone until it happens naturally, she said. “I just don’t want to rush it because when it’s time it’ll be time, when I’m supposed to learn about that it’ll PHOTO BY DANIEL JOHNSON High school student Jaden Cowboy said she wants to wait for the right person before having sex. The rise of abstinence has changed pregnancy and STD/STI rates in New Mexico. Here are a list of statistics from the New Mexico Department of of Health. Sex by the numbers Virginity Virginity • • • • • Virginity is on the rise, 27 percent of 15- to 24-year-old men have never had sexual contact (oral, vaginal, or anal) with another person. Average Age youngest age for women to have sex 16 years. Twenty-one percent of women in their 20’s haven’t had a sexual encounter yet, but by age 23 more than 95 percent of women have had sex. Average age youngest age for men to lose their virginity is 17 years. By age 19, more than 80 percent of men have lost their virginity. By age 25 more than 97 percent of men have had sex. nagging feeling Feel like your education is headed in the wrong direction? You have another option. Tour the SUVA campus and meet a community of creative people like you. BA Illustration, Animation, Advertising & Marketing, Interior Design, Graphic Design BFA Fine Arts, Photography Listen to that Pregnancy Pregnancy • • • • Pregnancy rates for teenagers aged 15 to 19 fell 40 percent from 1990 to 2008. Rates for black and Hispanic adolescents also fell, but are still two to three times higher than white teenagers. Rates among 18- and 19-year-olds were 19 percent lower than the 30-34 age groups in 2008. In 1990 they were 41 percent higher. Abortions have declined to 19.4 per 1,000 in 2008 from 27.4 in 1990, with about 400,000 fewer abortions. STD/STIs • • • • • Accredited by the Higher Learning Commission; transfer credits welcome. 254-7575 suva.edu There are 19.7 million new STIs cases every year in the US. In 2008, there were 22.1 million women and men aged 15 to 24 years diagnosed with an STD/STI Less than half of adults ages 18 to 44 have ever been tested for an STD/STI other than HIV/AIDS. Each year, one in four teens contracts an STD/STI. About half of all new STDs/STIs in 2000 occurred among youth ages 15 to 24. March 26, 2013 Continued from Page 2 PTK CONTINUED ‘Empty Seats’ was a mixed bag of emotions consisting of everything from anger, fear and doubt to motivation and cause for action,” he said. The members that had motivation are now the same people that are trying to make Alpha Upsilon Chi a better organization by dedicating their time and running for officer positions, he said. “Even though we now have people running for officer positions there are still open officer seats available for members that may have an The CNM Chronicle |9 to be involved even if they are unable to attend the meetings in person. “The reaction of members to the article interest in becoming more active,” he said. Members who wish to run are welcome to contact Turner at ntur ner4 @cnm.edu, he said. Members of Alpha Upsilon Chi will be contacted via email with the link to the candidate speeches and the voting website on March 29. Continued from Page 2 ART duties involved in organizing an exhibition include, but are not limited to, the arts show website design, which includes all of the featured artists, their artist’s statements and photos of their works, and editors to proofread press releases and postcard invitations, he said. The exhibition’s title “Known, Unknowns” was created because the students know each other’s works, but many people in the community do not, he said. “The reason we named it like that was because the artist in the class everyone kind of already knows everybody, that’s where the known part comes from. The unknown is that no one knows about us. We’re unknown in the art community, we’re all new,” he said. The Arts Career and Concerns class is only offered in the spring and in order to be admitted to the class, students must have completed 3D Design and Drawing I and II. The class teaches students how to be working artists in the professional art community and teaches conventional skills that many occupations require, he said. “It’s not your typical studio class where you go in there for two hours and you sculpt or paint or draw for two hours,” Sedillo said, “You go in there and she talks to you about your resumé, your artist’s statement and your bios, and how you’re going to build your portfolio to progress as an artist.” For more information on “Known, Unknowns,” contact Ray Sedillo at email@example.com. Continued from Page 2 ECOS Bianca Cowboy, ECOS student relations officer and Criminology major, said this is an opportunity for groups to introduce themselves to each other and make their presence more noticeable. “Students who want to participate that are not part of an organization are more than welcome to join in as well, because the school as a whole should be able to come together to help the community,” she said. Martos said that people who are willing to participate need to be motivated and serious individuals because some of the projects can require hard work. After the community service is complete, a social gathering will be held on Main campus so volunteers can develop connections with other student groups. “If people would like For more information, to help out, but are not contact ECOS at ecos@ available that day they cnm.edu or 224-4361. can always talk to ECOS about future community services projects and we will gladly help them anyway possible,” Martos said. Celebrate Your Achievement at the CNM Spring Graduation Ceremony! Begin your celebration today! Deadline to apply to participate in the ceremony is March 29, 2013 cnm.edu/gradceremony CNM Spring Graduation Ceremony Saturday, May 4, 2013 at 12 p.m. Central New Mexico Community College 10 | The CNM Chronicle How to buy and use the right toy By Adriana Avila and Rene Thompson Managing Editor and Staff Reporter Play time Dildoes: FEATURE March 26, 2013 Shopping for sex toys can be tough for those who do not know what to search for. With the vast variety of toys, the frustration of not knowing what to buy can be overwhelming. Research online and visits to local sex shops can prevent the annoying case of receiving the wrong size or material of a toy without realizing it. There are various shapes when it comes to Latex: flexible matevibrators and dildos, and run a gamut from smaller, rial that is non-porous penile-shaped to dongs the size of a friendly dino- and can be sanitized. saur. Most sex shops carry a wide variety â€“ from slender and short to long and wide, and are even available double or triple-ended. Research is recommended to know what your body can handle. Using a toy that is too big can cause microtearing, especially with anal play, so a good rule is to start small and work up to larger toys. Size (and shape) matters: One-hundred percent medical grade silicone: is a flexible and durable non-porous material, and is safe to sterilize. Glass or Pyrex: are hard non-porous and safe to sanitize. Both absorb heat and cold for different sensations. Hard plastic, jelly-rubber, acrylic, anodized metals and some silicon blends, are not capable of being sanitized because these materials are porous, which means bodily fluids and outside germs can become trapped in the material, making it unsafe for more than one use. Medical grade silicone or Pyrex, though more expensive, are safer for long term use. Sanitizing: Acrylic, hard plastic or PVC: porous materials that cannot be sanitized, but can be cleaned with soap and water, and are best used with condoms. Anodized aluminum and surgical grade stainless steel: Anodized aluminum is porous, due to the anodizing process and can also cause micro-tearing, while stainless steel is nonporous and can be used for cold sensations. Silicone blends, or Jelly Rubber: porous materials that cannot be sanitized and can contain phthalates, which may be linked to cancer according to zerobreastcancer.org. Lubricants: GRAPHICS BY JASMINE CHAVEZ Waterbased lubricant: does not stain or dry often and water or saliva reactivates it. It is safe to use on all toys and sex supplies. S i l ic one lubr ica nts do not dry out easily and should not be used on toys that cannot be sterilized. Oil-based lubricant does not dry out easily and is edible. Only use oil-based lubricants with polyurethane condoms because oil lubricant breaks down latex materials. Oil is an ingredient that can cause excretion, so if used anally, expect a visit to the restroom. Organic lubricants are marketed as natural products not containing parabens, glycerin or animal-based ingredients, and contain mostly botanicals and plant extracts. Lubricants that contain glycerin or sugar feed yeast, making it more likely for women to get an infection â€“ ya know, down there. There are also specialty warming and cooling lubricants for desired sensation, and anal-specific lubricants tend to be more viscous, which helps the lubricants stay in place. March 26, 2013 stuff that is challenging, like not having an Features Reporter orgasm,” she said. Want to learn about Adults have the sexual violence, Gspots opportunity to get a or how to give a great new perspective on sex blow job? education, focusing on Self Serve Sexuality all aspects of sexuality, Resource Center offers not just reproduction, classes once a week on she said. these topics and Chronicle more, “We really try to have | The CNM 4 Molly Adler, Self Serve classes for adults that are co-owner said. empowering and confiThe classes are held dential and help people from 7:30 p.m. to 9:30 learn new skills for the are in your life and By at Daniel Johnson p.m. 3904 Central Ave. you bedroom, new sex techyou need to pull your Investigative Reporter SE and are $20 per person act niques as well as anatomy together and do Failing of CNM something or $35 for a out couple. knowledge with andyourself.’ health was“We a major wakeup am probably where want to talk Isexuality,” she said. I am call for 4 On Your Side today because of the butt about things Reporter that no kicking TheIclasses areCNM,” co-ed, Investigative got from one Schwartz. gets to talk about Schwartz Gadi open all types said. of sexuality, Schwartz may andSchwartz that can be enrolled the hard andGadi usually involve demat CNM right after be a well-known face stuff, the trauma, or onstration, she said. on high school while also TV now, but before that, it that can more be the normal working than one was his father who was the By Shaya Rogers job. He spent less time local celebrity. studying because he Sergio Schwartz, thought he could breeze Gadi Schwartz’s father, through, he said. was a beloved broad“I thought I could make caster for Univision. it on my own, but that defSergio Schwartz initely did not work out so began as a weatherman well,” Schwartz said. on the Spanish news Graduating high channel, but eventually school while still slacking went on to report on off left him unprepared for bigger stories, he said. the more challenging col“I remember when he lege life, he said. would come to my school Even though he left and surprise me by taking after failing a single term, me out of class to go and Schwartz said he felt that work on a really cool story CNM is perfect bridge with him, we would have for students because the these really awesome options are so diverse. adventures together all “I wish I would have the time,” he said. utilized it more because Gadi Schwartz said failing out was a swift his dad would take him kick in the butt or a along to cover stories like wakeup call of sorts,” the Roswell alien conSchwartz said. vention, the pilgrimage “It was the mirror that to Chimayo, the ROGERS burnPHOTO BY SHAYA said, ‘Look, this is where ing of Zozobra and the Kathryn Smith teaches a class about Kink and BDSM. COMMUNITY Let’s talk about sex Local business offers sexuality classes COMMUNITY “If there’s a class on blow jobs and men or women want to give them or want to learn about their own body, by all means, join us. We try to make it really open,” she said. The classes are taught by trained professionals who have experience as sexual educators and go through a strict hiring process, she said. “We do want someone who has created a class conscientiously, who is aware of safer sex, LGBT identities, and is non-judgmental,” she said. Occasionally, Self Albuquerque International Serve has educators with Balloon Fiesta, national recognition he said. come to now teach classes, “I am covering the she same said. things as a professional I “In reporter April, that we’re used to do with my dad as having Debra Sundahl a kid,” said Schwartz. At first goal was come, whohis wrote the not to on be associated with book female ejaculahis father professionally, tionnow and the but theG-spot. respectShe’s and been an on the honor thatexpert has grown for him is undeniable, said. topic for 20-plushe years,” she His said.father, who grew up in Guatemala, accomTheeverything classes empower plished he did without the education or the individual to gain opportunity that might confidence in whatever have been presented to area needs attention someone growing upand in the classes also adhere to the United States, he said. “My dad always tells specific needs, she said. people, ‘Look at my son, “Ifollowing can’t tell in you what’s he is my footbest for your life or your steps’ and I always have to say, ‘Wait, hold on. body, we want to You give are a the weatherman I you resourcesand and am a serious investigative tools to beand ablethat to find it journalist is a for yourself,” she big difference.’ Itsaid. is all in The CNM Chronicle | 11 March 19, 2013 Where Are They Now: Gadi Schwartz PHOTO BY SHAYA ROGERS good Self Serve offers a variety of sex toys as well as offering sexuality classes. fun though, because I am very thankful to my dad for allowing me Upcoming classes at Self ServePHOTO BY JYLLIAN ROACH to have a passport Channel 4 investigative reporter Gadi Schwartz said that failing All classes are at SelftraServeat Sexuality Resource Center unless otherwise stated into the people and CNM gave him the wake up call he needed to succeed. ditions of New Mexico,” Schwartz said. public gets as inforneed to it take • While 03/26/13 8 - 9:30 Abortion is amuch political issue:really Let’s talk about (at the Schwartz hasp.m. mation as possible, he said. time to self-reflect and the UNM Student Building) become well known andUnion “Every single story I realize what their jobs in respected for his investi• 03/28/13 7:30 - 9:30 p.m. Bedroom Burlesque Cookie have ever had has not beenwith the worldFortune will be and just gative work at Channel 4, complete in my opinion go for it, he said. • 04/03/13 7:30 9 p.m. Living in a Rape Culture his long-term goal is to because there are so many “The During important • 04/04/13 7:30 - 9 p.m. Coming Together: How to Orgasm Sexthing become a war corresponunanswered questions is for students to commit dent, said. • he 04/09/13 7:30 - 9 p.m. the Basics: Advanced Skills orBeyond incomplete informato Blow whatJob they want and is an issue that isp.m. • War 04/10/13 7:30 -9 Don’t Stand intervention thatJust I want to There: get theHow to bystander stay focused on those hard to understand, but answers to,” said Schwartz. goals,” he said. tion creates communities more resistant to sexual violence it is important that jourFor Schwartz • dig 04/24/13 7:30 - 9 p.m. Interactive Blow Job Skills “Where are they now?” nalists deep into what though, it all comes is • happening and 7:30 share itp.m. 04/25/13 -9 Female the Gspot with Deborah back to Ejaculation CNM and andfeatures former CNM stuwith the public, he said. the importance of Sundahl dents who have gone on to And much like, inves- education. do amazing things. To nomitigative reporting, conflict When it comes to reporting would give him education and find- nate a former student send an email to: more time to develop the ing a passion, people firstname.lastname@example.org. story to make sure the Chronicle The CNM Editor-In-Chief applicants must: • • • • • Be work-study qualified Have passed English 1102 with a B or higher Have at least three terms remaining at CNM Be flexible with scheduling Must have adequate leadership and commuintcation skills Have what it takes to be a leader? Editor-In-Chief Applications are now being accpeted for summer term Email resumé to Jack Ehn at email@example.com Deadline to apply is April 13th 12 | The CNM Chronicle FEATURE March 26, 2013 Safe, sane and consensual: Exploring the world of BDSM Safe: Always have safeguards for every situation, including safe words and honest communication. Sane: Always be clear headed, sober, and in a healthy state of mind Consensual: Always talk about and agree on what will happen. Remember that all participants have the right to change their minds at any time – even after a session has started. The cardinal rules of BDSM Know the terms Like most communities, those who live the BDSM lifestyle have words with special meaning within the group. Here is a list of some basic terms. Bondage - Any practice involving restraints placed on the body to restrict freedom of movement. Bottom - A practitioner who submits to bondage, training, role play and/or corporal punishment, but who is not necessarily emotionally committed to his/ her dominant partner. Top - One who takes the active role in physical scene, but does not necessarily engage in emotional/ mental control. Conditioning The term used in psychology for the deliberate process of creating a psychological link between a desired response and an unrelated stimulus. Much of what the SM community refers to as training uses classic conditioning techniques. Corporal Activities that involve the striking of one individual by another are called corporal from the term corporal punishment. Typically corporal activities include spanking, flogging, paddling, and caning. Dominant, Dom, or Dominatrix - The person who is given control in a consensual exchange of power. Dominatrix refers to women. Dominant or Dom can refer to either sex or gender. Heavy - Intense whipping or hitting, usually with a toy such as a flogger or cane that is capable of delivering intense sensations. Masochism, masochist - The erotic enjoyment of pain, humiliation, and/or being dominated. Polyamory - The practice of having more than one intimate or sexual relationship at a time with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved. Safe word, Safe signal - A word, phrase, or action used as a signal to stop or reduce the intensity during sexual play. Sadism, Sadist Deriving pleasure from giving pain, humiliation, and/or domination to another. Sadomasochism, SM - Advanced practices incorporating the consensual use of pain, humiliation, and power exchange for erotic enjoyment. Submissive, Sub - One who surrenders control of his or her body and behavior, within pre-defined limitations, to another for erotic play. Switch - A person who enjoys taking either side in SM role or physical play: i.e. top or bottom, Dom or sub. Also, a slender flexible branch from a tree used for corporal punishment. GRAPHICS BY SCOTT M. ROBERTS PHOTO BY CLAUDIA LITTLE COURTSEY KEN CORNELL By Rene Thompson Staff Reporter The world of BDSM, or bondage; discipline; sadism and masochism, is often misunderstood by those who do not live the lifestyle. BDSM can seem extreme by those who see sex in a more conventional way, but three rules of BDSM are: safe, sane and consensual, Julian Wolf, sexuality lecturer and enrolled student said. “Conventional relationships are not much different from ours, in the sense that some people communicate better than others about what is wanted form a significant other,” she said. R o x a n n e Youngblood, former student and submissive, said that she began to explore the BDSM lifestyle after learning about it in a Human Sexuality class at CNM. “I had urges that were not understood in my previous relationships. I wanted to explore what it is that I really am, if I’m straight or bisexual or gay, as well as be able to have my particular needs be met in a BDSM relationship,” she said. Youngblood has been in a submissive/ dominant relationship for eight months and wears a collar from her dominant, she said. The collar is an outward symbol of their relationship, similar to a promise ring. The relationship can be ended by either side at any time. “At any point, if I am not into it anymore or I am not happy, I can take off the collar and walk away,” she said. Being in an environment that allows and approves of sexual exploration has help Youngblood to accept herself, she said. “I have a much better understanding of what I want out of my relationships, and I am so much happier because I am able to fulfill my needs, and not just sexually,” she said. Ken Cornell, a long-time dominant in his private life and in public performances, said that every relationship needs communication, but BDSM relationship simply cannot survive without it. “You have to be honest about what you want up front, because if not, people can become uncomfortable in what they are seeking, and no one wants that from a BDSM relationship,” Cornell. Aside from communication, a dominant also has the responsibility of guiding a submissive and others new to the lifestyle, so that they understand that submissives still have the right to say no at all times and that being a submissive does not mean a person has absolutely no control over what happens with them. “As a Dom I feel like a protector of my subs, in guiding them through what needs they really have, and showing my subs that there is complete trust from me to do what they want me to do and figure out what they need,” he said. Many safeguards are in place to protect all parties in BDSM relationships, such as safe words, signed agreements and having first aid kits on hand, just in case. “We have to be completely honest with one another about our needs and expectations to better understand what is really wanted from both parties,” he said. Want to learn more? To learn more about the BDSM lifestyle, Wolf, Youngblood and Cornell recommend the following: Wolf: fiftyshadesromance.com – this is a pay site that explores the good and bad ideas in the “50 Shades Trilogy” while providing step by step guides to entering into a BDSM relationship. Youngblood: latches. webslaves.com/checklist. htm – The free latches list is a pages-long document makes it easier for new participants to talk about fetishes and kinks. Cornell: “Sanctuary Under the Crypt” is a monthly club night at Evolution Night Club, 6132 Fourth St. NW, that always includes a public fetish show. The next show will be on March 30 at 9 p.m. the club is 18+ and charges an $8 cover. Books on BDSM: “Screw the Roses, give me the Thorns”, and “BDSM 101”.