Fertile Ground Growing Faith in the Family Nurturing faith within the family is about attending to the rituals and stories that give expression to the family’s faith and tradition. Being conscious of connecting those with the rituals and stories of the Catholic tradition contributes significantly to the growing faith of the whole family.
by kathy hendricks
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was in fifth grade when I wrote my autobiography. Needless to say, it was brief. I described my home, my parents and five siblings, our family gatherings, and the summer vacations we took together. Decades later, I wrote a “life-line” and a spiritual autobiography for courses in graduate school and spiritual direction certification. In both, I referred to my fifth-grade experience as a
starting point in the process. It affirmed and acknowledged the stories that were seeded in my childhood. As a young mother, I spent hours reading to my two children about places like Narnia and Oz. Sometimes, however, they wanted a story closer to home and entreated me to tell one of my own. I was not good at inventing stories so I veered toward ones about my childhood. Much to my surprise, the topic intrigued them. They no doubt felt our lives touch when they could picture me as someone who was once their age. This hasn’t changed. As adults, they still want to know the stories that both parallel and differ from their own. The difference is that they are now woven into the story as it continues to grow and to intertwine with theirs.
In the introduction to her book Kitchen Table Wisdom (Riverhead Books, 1994), Rachel Naomi Remen emphasizes the connectivity within our stories. “Hidden in all stories is the One Story. The more we listen, the clearer that Story becomes.” Stories remind us of our common humanity and telling them, Remen says, “weaves us into a family once again.” The electronic media has given us even greater access to the story of our commonality. Thus, my story can be connected with that of another mother halfway across the world. The downside is that, as our cultural obsession with reality TV and celebrity-watching increases, we tend to relish knowing the worst parts of other people’s stories. Even feel-good accounts can lack the depth of a story that is told and retold in order to mine its significance.
resources about parenting and faith Jim Campbell, 52 Simple Ways to Talk to Your Children about Faith: Opportunities for Families to Share God’s Love (Loyola Press, 2007). Campbell addresses 52 different faith themes, e.g., going to Mass, being a friend, making moral decisions, which come up in daily life. He suggests ways to used teachable moments to engage children and offers some resources to help frame the conversation. Kathy Hendricks, A Parent’s Guide to Prayer (Twenty-Third Publications, 2004). A delightful account of how to pray with your children and create family rituals. There is a good chapter on how one’s prayer changes when one is a parent. The author, Kathy Hendricks, writes a family-centered column on timely topics on Sadlier’s “We Believe” Website. Mary Margaret Keaton and Thomas Roberts, Imagining Faith with Kids: Unearthing Seeds of the Gospel in
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Children’s Stories (Pauline Books and Media, 2005). A companion to consult for book and media choices for children. Tom McGrath, Raising FaithFilled Kids: Ordinary Opportunities to Nurture Spirituality at Home (Loyola Press, 2000). The subtitle Ordinary Opportunities to Nurture Faith says it all. Among other themes, McGrath addresses prayer and ritual as a family, fostering forgiveness and empathy, and the images of God we use when speaking about God. There is also a study guide to facilitate use with a book club or parents’ group. Annemarie Scobey writes a column on family spirituality each month in the U.S. Catholic. A subscription to this magazine would provide a general update on Catholic issues and themes as well as this practical parenting column. The Clarentian Fathers, who publish U.S. Catholic, also publish a newsletter for Catholic parents called At Home
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with Our Faith written by Annemarie Scobey. Visit homefaith.com. Susan Voight, Raising Kids Who Will Make a Difference: Helping Your Family Live with Integrity, Value Simplicity, and Care for Others (Loyola Press, 2002). Voight addresses twelve themes including identity, peacemaking, and service which are values you as a parent may wish to address or support. Streaming video of Church in the 21st Century Center presentations are available online. Visit www.bc.edu/ church21/webcast.html and search the names provided below: • Kathy Hendricks. “A Garden of Grace: Practices for Family Life.” Search “Hendricks”. • Jane Regan, et al. “Handing On an Inclusive and Just Faith: Parents Reflect.” Search “handing on an inclusive.”
Passing on the faith involves a storytelling process in which we make links between our personal and family stories and our Story as God’s people. These encompass the joys and the agonies of life and loss, the fear and the excitement that accompany transitions, and the confusion and the clarity that can co-exist in the exploration of faith. Such stories are rooted in the family. Family Stories A common type of family story is linked with memory. These often surface during times of transition—at weddings, funerals, family gatherings, and seasonal celebrations, or when making a move to or from a home, job, or school. Telling them generates an awareness of belonging and continuity. Memory stories are repeated over and over again, sometimes venturing into the realm of myth. In the process of retelling, we gain insight into the people and experiences that have inspired and influenced us. The Bible is replete with stories of remembrance. For thousands of years they were passed from one generation to the next as a way to understand the relationship between God and his people. A dominant thread in biblical stories is the constancy of God’s presence, guiding humankind throughout history. They help us remember who we are and to Whom we belong. “…I will put my law within them, and I will write it on their hearts; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people” (Jeremiah 31:33). As families tell and retell their stories, they uncover the same lesson of these biblical tales—that God dwells among them, embedded within every family experience and relationship. This is not to say that all memory stories are pleasant or even redemptive. Some are dark accounts of abuse, addiction, abandonment, or neglect. Even so, there is value in telling them, albeit carefully, because they shed light on our failings, losses, grief, and disappointments, as well as on our capacity to