How’s Your Hearing? By Bob MacDonald, CMCA, AMS, PCAM
R
ecently I went through the process of having my hearing tested and discovered it was even worse than I thought; therefore I begrudgingly ordered hearing aids. This morning they were fitted and tested and I walked away simply saying WOW! When I got into my car the volume of the radio almost blew my ears out and, for the first time in a long time, I could actually hear the blinkers. When I got to my office and started to use my computer I could hear the mouse click and the tapping of the keys on my keyboard. YIKES. These events beg the question: How’s your hearing? It has been said that the best communication tool is the ability to listen or hear what others are saying. Good communication promotes better understanding of people, reduces conflict, and enhances relationships. In this article I will briefly touch on the importance of “listening” as the foundation to good communication. In fact, my mom used to remind me that since, “I had two ears and only one mouth,” I should to learn to listen twice as much as I speak. I’m still working on this. Good listening skills are essential for meeting customer needs. But it’s easy to get sidetracked by co-workers, cell phones, other customers, and more. When your clients call or you’re speaking with a vendor, “how’s your hearing?” Do you take the time to actively listen or are you more interested in speaking. Often, as a community association manager, when starting a relationship with a new client, the inability of former managers to “listen” repeatedly comes up. In the process of doing some research for this article I came across the following comment, “Listening is one of the most valued skills companies seek in employees, according to studies posted at the International Listening Association website. Other studies showed business personnel spent nearly 60 percent of the workday either speaking or listening. That’s why it is important to develop listening skills for improved customer service. Customer service employees with effective listening skills strengthen business relationships. On the other hand, customer service staff who lack listening skills can get tied up in misunderstandings. There are a number of ways to develop listening skills for customer service, but it takes practice and commitment.” 1
1 http://www.ehow.com/how_4827837_develop-listening-skillscustomer-service.html 30
Minnesota Communit y Living
Listening does not come easy to many of us and it is hard work; it is an acquired skill. But, if we really want to know what a person wants, we need to train ourselves to be good listeners. This removes the guess work. I would never suggest that I am expert on the topic of being a good listener, but I know what happens when I don’t hear (listen) well. Just ask my wife. Bad hearing is never good for a relationship. Thus the need for hearing aids. Snicker, Snicker! We can consciously enhance listening skills. It’s about paying attention, tuning in to others, and limiting distractions. That helps us to hear and to be heard. Often we’re forced into circumstances that aren’t conducive to listening. The potential distractions are greater than ever. Ear buds in, smart phones on, TV screens blaring in all but a few restaurants and waiting rooms. What we find ourselves doing is multitasking our way to fractured attention and limited listening. As a result we don’t hear, really hear. And we don’t feel heard. So, I must ask, how do you feel when you are speaking to another person and it appears that answering their cell phone seems to be more of a priority than LISTENING to you? For many of us this is frustrating and simply annoying! After listening to others, we too want to be heard. John Wooden, the famous UCLA basketball coach once said, “Listen if you want to be heard.” As we all know, it doesn’t feel good to be disregarded. It shuts us down, diminishes our sense of worth. It even leads to misunderstandings that can be epic in scale. And you know when you aren’t being really heard. By actively listening to others, you come to know why they think the way they think. People who listen “are trusted more than those who adopt an indifferent attitude during conversation.” Careful listeners get the benefit of credibility. Your good listening leads to the indirect benefit of making others also good listeners. In closing let me share the following “listening” illustration from an old text book: “There is a story involving two 19th century British Prime Ministers — Gladstone and Disraeli. If you had dinner with Gladstone, you came away believing that he was the most intelligent person in the country. However, if you had dinner with Disraeli, you came away believing that you were the most intelligent person in the country. Clearly, Disraeli knew how to listen better than Gladstone.” When you communicate who are others “hearing,” Gladstone or Disraeli?