Finances are one of those make or break areas where two people in a relationship need to be in agreement. Again, great practice for the future. Many men like to be in charge of the money and fancy themselves natural-born organizers. Perhaps he would be comfortable keeping track of receipts, schedules, contracts, and appointments? Let go, ladies, let go! Researching vendors is another area in which the groom can participate. He should accompany his bride to wedding expos where a number of vendors can be browsed in one place. This is a great way to simplify a maze of options. Once you have gathered information you can divide and conquer. For example, the groom can tackle tuxedo rentals, photographers and transportation (a “man zone” if ever there was one), while the bride can concentrate on flowers, invitations, and wedding dresses. Choosing entertainment is an area that can be more play than work, when done together. Spending an evening out, going to clubs, listening to music; it all sounds suspiciously more like dating than wedding planning. And once you have a band or DJ selected the groom can work on a play list. Gift registry is another date opportunity in disguise. Make a day of it — comfy clothes, a breakfast or lunch out beforehand. Fortified by good food and with the proper attitude, list in hand, off you go on a shopping spree! We’re not talking simply china patterns and crystal. Gift
registries have evolved to include barbecue sets, barware, camping equipment, flat screen TVs, DVD players, and even computers. He may be more interested in these type of items, but remind him he will be using the towels and sleeping on the sheets, too. Shouldn’t he have a say in what is chosen?
The partnership begins BEFORE the wedding! Two people will be saying “I do”. Do you want your groom to play a more significant role in your wedding? Just ask! Many grooms shy away from planning a wedding because they feel their assistance is not wanted or needed. Can we blame them? Check out the magazine stand - Modern Bride, Bride’s, etc. Where are the periodicals targeted at the groom? Encourage him! Ask for his opinions, and really listen. His thoughts matter. After all, this is his day, too. ■
S Sheri Davich is a free-lance writer living in Pequot Lakes. Her work has appeared in local, regional, L aand national publications including Guideposts and Marathon and Beyond. M
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