Strategies for Teaching Self Control
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Not all rewards are objects. At times, it may seem like your kids are zoomfocused on getting “stuff” as rewards, whether it’s a new toy, favorite dessert, or a special privilege. Remember, though, that even if they don’t verbalize it, your children also value the love, approval and time you have to give.
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Banish the word “failure.” If your child puts forth effort but gets discouraged on a project, stop and give him a hug. Encourage him to keep trying and reassure him that he can do it. And if you see that your child isn’t up to the task of finding the solution or completing the project, gently suggest that he stop, take a breather, and try something else.
Help kids learn through play. My sister Marisa invented a game called Jellybean Hide & Seek to teach my two toddlers the rewards of both effort and sharing. “Close your eyes and count to 10,” she tells them, while she hides groups of two jellybeans around the house. Each time either one of the children finds the two jellybeans, the treats are shared. Thus, the success of one child becomes the success of the other – a fun lesson in teamwork. The kids then have the option of saving the jellybeans or eating them immediately.
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Let them make decisions. Though we as parents would often like to step in and force our children to delay eating that proverbial marshmallow instead of indulging in the treat now, it’s good to step back from time to time and let kids take the lead. Yes, Mom and Dad usually know best, and dictating the “right” behavior often saves time, effort and tears. But sooner or later your kids will need to navigate life without you calling the shots and good kids know that you have confidence in their ability to make good decisions – and very often they will.
Repeat, repeat, repeat. If your young child accepts direction without complaint and never needs further correction, it’s time to start worrying: She may be a robot. All joking aside, though, it’s a fact of life that children often won’t absorb new behaviors the first, third, or even 10th time you offer instruction. That’s why it’s so important to repeat what you’d like them to do and why.
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52 Atlanta Parent February 2014
Our foreign language instruction, community partnerships, dedicated STEAM teachers, and commitment to 21st century learning provide an exceptional foundation for our bright young learners to succeed in school and in life.
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