How do you respond?

Tracy L. Warner

Municipal Engineer City of Ames, Iowa Member, APWA Diversity Committee

ave you ever given any thought to how you respond to different people or situations? We all function from at least two levels—conscious and unconscious. Our conscious mind is our thinking mind. Our unconscious mind is what gets us to the place where we are driving while talking on our cell phone.

Sometimes in everyone’s life they have a reaction to something that surprises them. They respond to an event or a person differently than they ever would have expected. While both levels of the mind are very powerful, there are times when it is beneficial to bring a thought from your unconscious to your conscious mind so that you can move past unwanted beliefs or fears and into a life of ease and joy.

Sit back and relax as you read through this list. How does your mind and body feel when reading each category below?

• A female public works director. • An 18-year-old mayor of your municipality. • A homeless 60-year-old

Caucasian male.

• A homeless 28-year-old mother of two young girls. • An outspoken citizen attending a public meeting. • A quiet citizen sitting in the corner while attending a public meeting. • A group of ten teenagers talking and laughing as they walk down the sidewalk.

• A person who has three bald spots amongst otherwise styled hair.

Recently a conference was held in Chicago, Ill., that focused on trichotillomania (trich) (hair pulling disorder) and skin picking disorder. People of all ages, ethnicities, personalities, backgrounds, and professions attended and described their inability to resist the repetitive urge to pull out their own hair or pick at their skin. This disorder impacts each person differently. Each person has episodes that are set off by different feelings. While attending this conference, I was surrounded by deeply beautiful people who were getting to know themselves on the inside instead of judging what a person looks like. This has caused me to sit back and think. How would I as a public works official respond to someone with obvious bald spots who is attending a public informational meeting? How do kids respond to classmates who come to class always wearing a hat to cover up their bald spots? How do you think you would respond to a coworker who doesn’t have any eyelashes or eyebrows?

Each person impacted by trich responds in different ways. Some are good at hiding it so you don’t even know that they have it. Others have been impacted so much that another person can’t help but notice, yet the other person is not ready to openly talk about what they are experiencing. Another group of adults or teens are very vibrant and ready to talk to anyone who wants to listen about what they are experiencing. Whether it is trich or not, everyone is experiencing life through their own journey.

Several of the sessions during the conference focused on mindfulness. I have grown to like this term. Mindfulness describes living in the moment. Being present to what is going on around you. This does not include judgment of yourself or others. This does not include living in the past nor does it mean dwelling on something that you still feel was wrongfully done to you. It means just to be present to enjoy what is happening right now.

Confidently be yourself. March to your own drum. Learn to dance in the rain.

Tracy Warner can be reached at (515) 239-5163 or twarner@city.ames.ia.us.

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