$50 in profits (which had been "carefully hoarded to bestow on mother"), but promised to return to Portland within three months to fulfill twenty portrait commissions. An incident on the return trip by boat from Providence demonstrates Paine's independent character. She realized during the passage that she was fifty cents short. She had befriended a mother and son aboard the boat but was too embarrassed to request help. "What would she think of me;—a stranger, and genteelly dressed, to ask her for money! Psha! The idea was preposterous! I threw myself into my berth—with the cold sweat standing in large drops, on my face. ... I saw the colored cabin maid, looking with admiring eyes, at my traveling basket. . .. Would I sell it to her? . .. It cost me one dollar; but, as I have used it a few times—you may have it for seventy-five cents." With enough money now for her fare, she declared,"How plainly I saw the merciful hand of God,in this little incident." Paine placed several additional advertisements during 1827 and 1828 in the Portland newspapers as a painter of portraits and miniatures.' She also traveled through southern Maine and New Hampshire painting portraits.' In Portland, she moved to a popular boardinghouse."My painting-room was thronged with visitors—indeed, it was a fashionable resort. I was enabled... to dress as I chose,—and for once,in my life, indulged my tastes, however expensive.... Many declared they never saw so happy a temperament as mine." Then problems started."A rumor had risen,... that I had absconded from my native place—leaving behind me a husband... and several young hapless children!" Immediately, her painting commissions ended, and she noticed a "gradual coldness of manner" toward her. Moving to a new boardinghouse, she had a friend publish in the local newspaper the story of her divorce using the fictitious name "Jessey," along with testimonials. "All recognized ... the afflicted Jessey. ... Many came forward with professions of sympathy and friendship . . . my business revived, and the affair seemed gradually to be forgotten.... But with me—the wound left a scar, that never healed." After several years in Portland, Paine became seriously ill."I was paying nurses wages, paying her board; and rent for the furnished parlor ... together with the rent of two office rooms, which I had used as painting and exhibition rooms... . After my recovery. .. again I stood alone and penniless ...[but], as soon as I was able to paint, I found plenty of employment." On her next trip to visit her mother, it was reported that the boat she had taken from Portland had sunk, with the loss of all passengers. "[M]y sudden death ... was much lamented in P[ortland]." It was not until the next evening that her grieving friends learned that a different boat had been lost.
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Religion was important in Paine's life, and she was particularly proud of her ability to quote large sections of the Bible to support her assertions. Yet she struggled with her religious conviction."[S]omething was wrong... I was astray from the Fold of God." Apparently quite depressed, she returned to her mother,and "never expected to be capable of[the portrait] business again." During a stay of several weeks, she "made a great change in ... apparel," as "a simple dress would better become a follower ofthe Lamb."
She again returned to Portland and was soon painting. She spent several weeks with a family living near the New Hampshire border. "I visited in this way, being invited from one place to another, and painting at their residences. ... But my health was gradually sinking." At this time, a wealthy friend from Providence wrote to Paine and asked her to come and paint her dying daughter. "I was so reduced, that many thought it doubtful,ifI outlived the daughter." When the daughter died a week later, the mother told Paine that she could inherit the daughter's
SARAH GILBERT Portland, Maine 1829 Oil on wood panel 30 x 24" Maine State Museum, Augusta Inscribed on reverse: by Miss Paine ... Taken 1829 in June