#LfortheT: The Importance of Gender Exploration and

CW:transphobia,sexmentions,TERFS,incelmentions

On the 27th of April 2023, parts of lesbian instagram exploded.

Popular wlw dating app HER posted screenshots of tweets from their account denouncing TERFS within the lesbian community, especially those flying under the radar by putting ‘GC’ (gender critical) and green/white/purple hearts in their bio (both are transphobic dog-whistles). In response, @lesbian_herstory wrote a blog article attacking HER’s trans-inclusive posts, claiming that HER called lesbians ‘bigots’ for not supporting trans women.

@lesbian_herstory argued that ‘lesbianism is not a choice, let alone discrimination against the male sex.’ They had run an 8-hour poll asking lesbians who followed them if they felt that there was ‘pressure’ on lesbians to be ‘inclusive’ and ‘go against our female-exclusive attraction.’ They received 1050 responses.

The blog post continued with the argument that ‘sex is not a human right,’ comparing trans lesbians to incels and continuing to spread the damaging stereotype that trans women are forcing cis lesbians to have sex with them. The article ended with the claim that, by welcoming trans women into the community and treating them like the lesbians they are, lesbianism is being eroded, and that trans-inclusive lesbians pose a homophobic threat to their own community.

The team at @lesbian_herstory would have you believe that the responses of just over a thousand people are indicative of an entire international community, filled with people of all ages, classes, and most importantly, diverse gender identities. This is not the case.

In a world where womanhood is defined by our attraction to men, men’s attraction to us, our ability to produce children, and our ability to fulfill the gender roles expected from us, lesbianism is a direct subversion of these roles. This can lead lesbians to feel alienated from womanhood; how many lesbians, when asked about their gender identity, state that ‘[their] gender is lesbian’? Even more lesbians express discomfort with being called a ‘woman,’ even if they do identify as one. Additionally, @lesbian_herstory are suggesting that biological sex is the be all and end all of gender expression. It is 2023. By now, we know that sex does not equal gender, and as such, gender is not binary and never has been. We also know that sex, like gender, exists on a spectrum. The argument that lesbianism is purely sex-based is tired and transphobic. Trans women are not heterosexual men trying to invade lesbian spaces. They are lesbians, and they have a right to be here.

Let us not also forget the hallowed institution of butchness. Being butch is an identity that contains multitudes. As a non-binary femme myself, I know people of all gender identities that identify as butch lesbians. The label suggests existence outside of the gender binary that @lesbian_herstory appears to be enforcing. Butchness, and by extension femme identities, exist outside of the gender binary by virtue of being labels for queer women and lesbians – women that exist outside of traditional patriarchal definitions of womanhood.

Trans women, our sisters, should not be painted as sex pests and incels. They are lesbians, just like us, and they deserve our respect and care. Trans lesbians belong in the lesbian community. Womanhood is tangled, complicated, and ever evolving, As is lesbianism. So, why can’t we include our sisters, and not just our cis-ters?