Connextions Magazine - Issue 6 - FL

Cruising what will it cost you? the Caribbean

Spring 2012 Issue #6

Justin Utley musicians & mormons Marijuana

America’s Obsession

The Next American Gay 12 Reality Show Finalists

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Top 10 Florida Hot Spots

THE

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TO BY

IS

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ACHIEVE INSPIRING

LESBIAN, AND

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GAY,

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ENGAGING

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AMERICANS,

HRC STRIVES TO END DISCRIMINATION AGAINST LGBT CITIZENS AND REALIZE A NATION THAT ACHIEVES FUNDAMENTAL FAIRNESS AND EQUALITY FOR ALL.

HRC SEEKS TO IMPROVE THE LIVES OF LGBT AMERICANS BY ADVOCATING FOR EQUAL RIGHTS AND BENEFITS IN THE WORKPLACE, ENSURING FAMILIES ARE TREATED EQUALLY UNDER THE LAW, AND INCREASING PUBLIC SUPPORT AMONG ALL AMERICANS THROUGH INNOVATIVE ADVOCACY, EDUCATION AND OUTREACH PROGRAMS. HRC WORKS TO SECURE EQUAL RIGHTS FOR LGBT INDIVIDUALS AND FAMILIES AT THE FEDERAL AND STATE LEVELS BY LOBBYING ELECTED OFFICIALS, MOBILIZING GRASSROOTS SUPPORTERS, EDUCATING AMERICANS, INVESTING STRATEGICALLY TO ELECT FAIR-MINDED OFFICIALS AND PARTNERING WITH OTHER LGBT ORGANIZATIONS.

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CONTRIBUTORS EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Shelly Straub

from the editor

ART DIRECTOR Lucia Camarda ADVERTISING SALES (315) 380-6883 CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS Michael Craft Carlos Melia Stuart Gallagher David Vance Dale Stine B. Doupe CONTRIBUTING WRITERS C. Antonio, Columnist Joe Stabb Michael Nelson Mark Gray Maria Lesetz Carlos Melia COPY EDITOR Katerina Lynn Stanton Gail Iannuzzi Read Connextions Magazine online or purchase your print edition through our website at:

www.connextionsmagazine.com WRITE TO US: Do you have a question or comment regarding this issue or future issues of Connextions Magazine?

We would love to hear from you! Email responses, press releases and future event listings are always welcomed...

spring fever n

the feeling of restlessness experienced by many people at the onset of spring

S

pring fever is a term commonly used in the north, and I am certainly experiencing it!

Bringing you an issue packed with vacation ideas and picturesque destinations, has given me quite the ‘itch’ to get out of town. From the relaxing leisurely island life in Key West, to the non-stop excitement and entertainment of cruise ship vacationing, we have outlined some of our travels and experiences in and around Florida. You can decide for yourself where you plan to spend your hard earned dollars to step away from work and enjoy a few moments of paradise.

While I sit here and write this ‘Letter from the Editor,’ it just so happens that Michele Balan, featured on page 52 is currently in the Caribbean entertaining cruise ship guests with her humor. And if the hot sun doesn’t tickle your fancy, Carlos Melia brings you travel tips from Thailand on page 16.

Before the spring fever sets in, it is often typical to feel some form of depression during the winter months, even if you live where the snow doesn’t fall. I thought an article containing some useful tips on struggling through the depression would be insightful to our readers, but while browsing the internet, I came across an interesting article that highlights specific lesbian healthcare concerns. Published by the Gay & Lesbian Medical Association, the editorial touches on depression, but also brings to light issues that may not be at the top of your thinking cap (pg 14).

Special features in this issue highlight music sensation Justin Utley, the comical David Leddick, and the 12 very genuine contestants of the Mr. Gay World USA 2012 reality show, “The Next American Gay” As always, thanks so much for taking the time to browse the pages of Connextions Magazine. We appreciate all your comments and feedback, and look forward to connecting with you soon.

shelly@connextionsmagazine.com All submissions become the property of Connextions Magazine.

The views and opinions stated throughout this magazine are not necessarily the opinions of staff at Connextions Magazine.

Connextions Magazine, LLC publishing office is located at 8601 Tartan Drive North, Cicero, New York 13039. Connextions Magazine will not knowingly publish or advertise text which is fraudulent or misleading. The publisher reserves the right to edit, limit, revise, or reject any text without cause. Connextions Magazine assumes no financial responsibility for typographical errors. If any errors are found, please notify Connextions Magazine immediately. Materials in this publication may not be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher.

ISSN 2160-4347 (print) ISSN 2160-4355 (online)

Shelly Shelly Straub

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AUG 2011 Issue #4

7 Reasons LGBT FamiliesRock Canada’s New Gay Getaway

Domestic Violence

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ue #5 2011 Iss

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Why Ohio?

LIVE free TRAVEL often CONNECT daily

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8 Cruising the Caribbean & What it will Cost

12 D. Alexander

“Urban Dance Pop�

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14 Ten Health Care Concerns For Lesbians

16 Thailand

International Travel

18 Faith Micheals Neva Lose Faith

20 In Review

Books & Film

24 Area of Attraction Florida

30 Patrick Dati End Bullying

32 Justin Utley

Music & Mormonism

Spring 2012 Issue #6

CONTENTS

34 Technology

Gay Digital Travel

36 David Leddick

Sexually Secure at 80

38 Featured Accommodation Vitambi Springs

42 Destiny by Design

Retail, Entertainment & Dining

44 Belief without Proof Maria’s Inspiration

46 Marijuana

America’s Obsession

48 Stawberry Shortcake Cookies A Butch in the Kitchen

52 Michele Balan Comedy Queen

55 Fabulous Finds 56 The Next American Gay Mr. Gay World USA 2012

60 Website Highlights Connextions Picks

62 Professional Directory

The Truth about Travel & the cost of cruising

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t only $468.00 per person for a 7 day all-inclusive cruise to the western Caribbean, would you say, “No thanks?” What does all-inclusive really mean? How much cash-on-hand do I need to bring? What costs will be incurred, other than room, food & airfare?

I recently went to the exhaustive trouble of researching an all-inclusive vacation in order to bring you a list of all your necessary expenses, right down to the $15.00 bottle of sun screen, that although isn’t considered a necessity, try having fun in the Caribbean sun without it.

The Itinerary Jan 2011 $468.00 Sunday to Sunday cruise on Carnival Glory (pp) Ports of call: Cozumel, Mexico; Costa Maya, Mexico; Isla Roatan, Honduras; Grand Cayman $370.00 Airfare from New York to Miami (roundtrip-pp) $60.00 Taxi from airport to port – roundtrip Packing List Make sure to pack light… for two reasons. First, it will cost you $25.00 for each bag of luggage you check on the plane, as well as a hefty fee for luggage that weighs more than 50 lbs. Second, you

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want to save room for the gifts, clothes, novelties and JEWELRY you will buy while in International waters, where everything is duty free! Side note: On full flights, 9 times out of 10 they will make an announcement shortly before boarding that they will check your extra carry-on bags for free, due to the lack of space in the overhead compartments since, because of the cost, many flyers are carrying their luggage in lieu of checking their baggage. $50.00 One suitcase - roundtrip A few items you will want to purchase when you get off the plane (no matter what Florida port you depart from), because they are less expensive in town: tanning lotion and sun screen! Australian Gold is a favorite brand and since its bottled in Tampa, you can snag it for about $9.00. Bathing suits are always in abundance and less expensive, even at the plethora of tourist shops. Side note: It is less expensive to purchase your underwater camera and simple snorkel gear at home. $9.00 Sun screen Glorious living: At less than $500 per person, for a staff that pampers you as if you were the only person on board, along with the ample variety of food that is at your finger tips 24/7, how does Carnival make enough money to run the $500 million, 110,000 ton, 952 foot long Glory for an entire week?

All the extras: Photos -It’s not as easy as you think to walk away from all the professional photos that the ship’s staff are constantly taking.

Almost guaranteed that you will say to yourself, “how can we leave without at least ‘one’ photo?” They also offer a ‘voyage video’ DVD of your weeklong adventure at sea, for about $30.00. $21.99 One 8x10 photo Alcohol – Your Caribbean concoction, garnished with fresh fruit and an umbrella is moderately priced at around $9.00 per drink.

Try a fruity rum punch, tropical pina colada or my favorite, a BBC (Banana, Baileys & Coconut). Side note: If you plan your trip well enough in advance, purchase drink coupons on the Carnival website before you board! $126.00 14 drinks Gambling – If this is your game, make sure you budget wisely, since the casino on board is open all day and all night while in International waters. Side note: The casino and all on board stores close while stopping at the ports of call. $200.00 Gambling

Spa Treatments – The spa treatments are a bit overpriced, even coming from a New Yorker, but while on board, if you find an overwhelming need to pamper yourself, be aware that you will spend about $140.00 for an hour treatment. $140.00 One hour at the spa Gift Shop – A lanyard is very helpful since you have to use your ‘sail n’ sign’ card for every purchase and when leaving and returning to the ship at each port. $5.50 Lanyard $20.00 Key chain/tshirt Tips – Although the gratuity is already added to your final bill at 15%, which you will see on your statement at the end of your trip, it is still customary to tip the staff for a job well done. Feel free to have breakfast delivered to your stateroom every morning in lieu of a wake-up call, but don’t forget to tip the cabin steward. $98.00 15% gratuity total $20.00 Additional tip to cabin steward $20.00 Additional tip to dining staff $14.00 Tips for room service

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Maya Chan Beach Resort

Ports of Call Remember to keep cash on hand when shopping off the ship.

Everything you want to buy is negotiable in price, except at the major chain surf shops, such as Ron Jon Surf Shop. And everything has two prices, one for cash and one for credit.

Cozumel, Mexico So why does Cozumel attract over 2 million tourists per year?

Easy… a tropical island with sparkling waters, powdery white sands and endless sunshine!

I recommend a visit to Bob’s Cozumel! Owned by our friends Ken and Tobin (originally from Texas), and not far from the port. With 41 rave reviews on Trip Advisor, 4.5 stars, and ranked #12 out of 160 restaurants in Cozumel, they are certainly worth checking out! Find BOBs Cozumel on facebook or read their article in Connextions Magazine, Issue 4. $30.00 Lunch and a “few” beers $6.00 Taxi to Bob’s Cozumel $30.00 Novelties & gifts Costa Maya, Mexico Costa Maya has the highest concentration of Mayan archeological sites and fantastic excursions that you can feel safe booking on your own, although Carnival prefers that you book your excursions exclusively through them.

I recommend checking out Maya Chan Beach Resort. Mark, Owner of the resort says: “We have been on 88 cruises and have 4 booked in 2012. We are cruisers that decided to build a resort for cruisers, by cruisers. We know what we want in an excursion, and that was our market.” Aquafest Beach Party was held at the Maya Chan Beach Resort in November 2011 and Mark states: “I was honored to officiate my first same sex wedding. It brought tears to everyone's eyes. A very special day for Maya Chan Beach.” $59.00 Excursion

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Costa Maya

Isla Roatan, Honduras The 33 mile long island of Roatan is an untouched Caribbean paradise, with their pristine turquoise waters, white sandy beaches and picture perfect palm trees.

Depending on your interests, I have two recommendations for this port that are worth checking out. Tabiana Beach was my personal favorite.

Relax in a lounge chair that sits atop the white sand, but partially under a coconut palm. Listen to the Caribbean band play in the background, enjoy a tropical drink and rest your eyes a bit. There’s also Maya Key Beach for the curious. Maya Key has a beach as well as a pool, check out the Mayan ruins museum, monkeys, sea lions, parrots, alligators and even a jaguar. This excursion also offers a swim with the sharks and stingrays for only $25.00 per person. $70.00 Excursion $25.00 Shark swim $30.00 Novelties & Gifts Grand Cayman, Cayman Islands Blessed with sun-kissed beaches and waters gleaming with gold flecked fish, the Cayman Islands offer some of the best diving and snorkeling in the world. Grand Cayman specializes in exquisite shopping, especially if you’re looking for a deal on watches, china and crystal, perfumes and fine jewelry.

A must-see on Grand Cayman Island is the sensational Tiki Beach, the newest beach club on the world famous Seven Mile Beach. After your stroll on the powdery white sand beach, join the party at Margaritaville and don’t forget to sign a dollar bill and tape it to the bar! $10.00 Taxi to beach and back $30.00 Lunch & drinks $30.00 Novelities & Gifts

Carnival Glory

Cozumel

The Bottom Line: Now remember that cruises are based on double occupancy and all the prices we have listed are per person. Not all costs will be doubled for your partner, such as: sharing a taxi, sharing your lotion, and sharing photos purchased.

Connecting is always FREE! If you are looking to meet new people during your travels, possibly make friends you can relate to, you’re in luck! Each night at about 7:45pm there is an LGBT meet for Friends of Dorothy.

Grand TOTAL: $1,942.49 per person Although the bottom line dollar amount is much larger than what you might have expected when you see “all-inclusive” for only $468.00 per person, I would most certainly give Carnival a thumbs-up for all that the “Fun Ship” has to offer!

Honduras

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IN TOUCH… with D Alexander D Alexander’s “Touch Me” is an empowering club track about losing yourself and finding love on the dance floor. It is the follow-up to “Beautiful”, his debut track that launched the young out-artist’s career – however it’s very different from the electronic R&B sound of the first. “Touch Me” is a disco dance romp that allows D Alexander to be flirty and communicate his passion for life, love and lust.

“My inspiration for Touch Me was Saturday Night Fever,” reveals the young out-artist from his recording studio in South Beach.

“It’s a modern track about today’s dance floor but I wanted the hook to be vintage disco and have that vinyl record kind of feel.

The song’s underlying message is that though the dance floor changes in time, its essence remains the same.”

“The dance floor is a spiritual place,” he continues. “It frees us from ourselves and let’s us be someone else for the night. Whether it’s dressing up in something slutty or out of our norm, the dance floor is a fantasy world.

“And when someone touches you while dancing, whether its sexual or not, it can often lead to something pretty dirty,” he laughs.

Growing up in Southern Florida, D Alexander attended a performing arts magnet school with a predominantly African-American

rhyming schemes into his songs, creating his own unique sound that he calls Urban Dance Pop. “I have been listening to more European dance music. I’m drawn to its deep emotion: an intensity that is not often replicated in American music. When writing ‘Touch Me’, I aimed to write a song that had American hit potential yet was European dance club worthy.”

“I learned a lot from the release of ‘Beautiful’,” reflects D Alexander. “I have always excelled at being able to explain my song ideas to producers. ‘Beautiful’ was the first time I had to explain my ideas to media and to my fans. I had to put myself out there and convince the world why they should listen to D. Alexander.”

There are still some things he won’t discuss, though. Like if he, himself, has experienced the passion on the dance floor he describes in “Touch Me”.

To that, he simply answers, “I don’t kiss and tell.”

Your new track includes vintage disco elements. Is that a nod to seventies dance floors?

My new track is most definitely a tribute to the late 70’s dance floor. When writing this track, I told my producer to incorporate vintage synthesizers to give listeners a decade confusion accompanied with a modern twist. Think of Gaga being warped back to the ‘70s in the middle of her “Just Dance” video. Trippy, huh?

What do the ‘70s mean to you?

The ‘70s paved the way for electronic/pop music to really hit the mainstream.

Who were some of the ‘70s dance floor greats?

population. As a result, his songs have been mostly urban. Recently, however, he has begun to incorporate Dance/Pop with basic R&B

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In my opinion, the dance floor queen was and still is Donna Summer. Also, Sylvester’s “You Make Me Feel (Mighty Real)”. Enough said.

The ‘70s were the beginning of the gay rights movement and the gay dance floor. How has it evolved through the years?

To be honest, one of the greatest things about the gay dance floor is that the key elements have not changed. What has changed is the type of guy on that dance floor. The new generation of gay men are no longer hiding.

They are celebrating their identities by freeing themselves and dancing for change.

Unlike the ‘70s, we don’t have to keep our eyes peeled for cops trying to raid our clubs because of our illegal homosexual desires.

In our social media world, do gay guys still meet on the dance floor?

Hardly anyone initially meets at a club.

Most meet there after they have checked each other out on their preferred app. It’s bittersweet for me. Thanks iPhone.

Do you remember your first time stepping into a gay club?

I was petrified! I was a chunky 18 year-old, walking into a room full of greased up abs and half naked men. It was the first time I felt like a girl in one of those dreams where she finds herself naked in front of the entire school. It was also the moment where I decided what kind of guy I was going to be. The greased up abs isn’t really my scene, although it can be fun sometimes. Funny thing is, even now, I am still very shy when I walk into a club. As much as I love attention, it scares me to death.

What does the new generation want from their dance floors?

The new generation wants to have fun! We have come so far in the struggle for equality, we just want to throw our hands up and dance in celebration of our accomplishments. Lets take a shot to progress!

Is there a dress code?

Guys wear what represents them most.

The dance floor is a place to be the person you never thought you could. Welcome to wonderland, Alice!

What’s your take on the trend of guys wearing six-inch pumps to clubs?

I don’t judge anyone. I think any expression of individuality is important.

They claim not to be drag queens; that they do it to make a statement.

They are saying that they will not acknowledge a line that divides masculinity and femininity. Instead, they will blur that stupid line and be as much of a woman as they are a man. It is an awesome statement.

Are drugs still rampant on today’s dance floors?

Yes, and we need to cut that shit out already.

Is it still ok to rip off your shirt on the dance floor or is that just tacky?

I want to say it’s tacky, but in reality, I don’t really care. It’s the dance floor. We’re all there to have fun! There shouldn’t be rules.

Are you gunning to be the next male Disco queen?

(Laughs) I can’t say that. My sound has never been exclusively electro, R&B or pop. I like to think of my music as a harmonious unity of all three genres. Sometimes, you can even hear elements of rock in my songs. I think I am musically ADD.

F i n d D. A l e x an d e r on Fa c e b o o k at d a l e x an d e r mu s i c

photos courtesy Dale Stine

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Top 10 Things Lesbians Should Discuss with their Healthcare Provider 1. Breast Cancer Lesbians have the richest concentration of risk factors for breast cancer than any subset of women in the world. Combine this with the fact that many lesbians over 40 do not get routine mammograms, do breast self-exams, or have a clinical breast exam, and this cancer may elude early diagnosis, when it is most curable.

2. Depression/Anxiety Lesbians have been shown to experience chronic stress from homophobic discrimination. This stress is compounded by the need that some still have to hide their orientation from family and colleagues at work, and by the fact that many lesbians have lost the important emotional support most others get from their families due to alienation stemming from their sexual orientation.

3. Heart Health Smoking and obesity are the most prevalent risk factors for heart disease among lesbians; but all lesbians need to also get an annual clinical exam because this is when blood pressure is checked, cholesterol is measured, diabetes is diagnosed, and exercise is discussed. Preventing heart disease, which kills 45 percent of women, should be paramount to every clinical visit.

4. Gynecological Cancer Lesbians have higher risks for many of the gynecologic cancers. What they may not know is that having a yearly exam by a gynecologist can significantly facilitate early diagnosis and a better chance of cure.

5. Fitness Research confirms that lesbians have higher body mass than heterosexual women. Obesity is associated with higher rates of heart disease, cancers, and premature death. What lesbians need is competent and supportive advice about healthy living and healthy eating, as well as healthy exercise.

6. Tobacco Research also indicates that lesbians may use tobacco and smoking products more often than heterosexual women use them. Whether smoking is used as a tension reducer or for social interactions, addiction frequently follows and is associated with higher rates of cancers, heart disease, and emphysema — the three major causes of death among all women.

7. Alcohol Alcohol use and abuse may be higher among lesbians. While one drink daily may be good for the heart, more than that can be a risk factor for cancer or osteoporosis.

8. Substance Use Research indicates that lesbians may use illicit drugs more often than heterosexual women. This may be due to added stressors in lesbian lives from discrimination. Lesbians need support from each other and

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from health care providers to find healthy releases, quality recreation, stress reduction, and coping techniques.

9. Domestic Violence Domestic violence is reported to occur in about 11 percent of lesbian homes, about half the rate of 20 percent reported by heterosexual women. But the question is where do lesbians go when they are battered? Shelters need to welcome and include battered lesbians, and offer counseling to the offending partners.

10. Osteoporosis The rates and risks of osteoporosis among lesbians have not been well characterized yet. Calcium and weight-bearing exercise as well as the avoidance of tobacco and alcohol are the mainstays of prevention.

It is also important to get bone density tests every few years to see if medication is needed to prevent fracture.

By: Katherine A. O’Hanlan, MD, Former President, GLMA, Co-Founder, Lesbian Health Fund, Gynecologist, Portola Valley, CA “Reprinted with permission of the Gay & Lesbian Medical Association (Katherine A. O’Hanlan, MD, Former President, GLMA, Co-Founder, Lesbian Health Fund, Gynecologist, Portola Valley, CA), Top 10 Things Lesbians Should Discuss with their Healthcare Provider. All rights reserved.”

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A Thailand chronicle

by Carlos Melia | CM by Carlos Melia

Sawasdee Khrap to everyone, right from the heart of the Silom district in Bangkok, the main hub of my two-month-long adventure, exploring Thailand. From the Andaman Sea to the Gulf of Thailand, I’ve traveled across this incredible country, experiencing the charming, intriguing local culture. I have rarely before felt such warmth, camaraderie, and affection, as how the Thai people have treated me throughout my stay. Not only does Thailand offer a huge array of destinations and experiences, suited to all types of travelers and budgets, from high luxury to low-cost adventure, but, most importantly, you feel truly welcomed and accepted, regardless of your lifestyle. Being gay or lesbian in Thailand is simply not an issue; it is a fact that everyone at least tolerates and most accept. Though gay marriage is not officially recognized, during my time in Thailand, I have been a part of two large gay weddings, one in Phuket and one in Chiang Mai. I remember my first visit to Thailand, almost fifteen years ago. Despite being well traveled myself, I felt like I was literally stepping out of a spaceship onto a new planet that was chaotic and unprepared for international western travelers.

Well, let me tell you, that has changed.

This time, the feeling was much more welcoming, seamless and interesting.

What I found was the growing, stylish, cosmopolitan, vibrant city of Bangkok,

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photos courtesy Carlos Melia

as well as a path to true old Thailand, with religion and traditions in Chiang Mai, Chaing Rai, and the Golden Triangle of the northern region. There is stunning natural beauty, breathtaking beaches, and islands like Phuket, Krabi, Koh Samui, and Koh Hong in the south.

In the center of Thailand, there are three central retreats, each particular to their own styles and concepts: Hua Hun, a Royal Beach resort, which is a wellness and health spot, Pattaya, the most affordable beach destination and closest to Bangkok, and Koh Samet, is a true gem on the Gulf of Thailand.

Unique experiences await you in Thailand. Spend a full morning chanting with Buddhist monks in Chiang Rai; train to become a Mahout, living with the elephants at the Golden Triangle; scuba dive along the Andaman Sea; learn the basics of Thai cuisine in Chiang Mai; visit the Giraffe women at the Hill Tribes region; plant rice with the villagers in Koh Samui; enjoy wine tasting in the back of the elephants at Hua Hin Hills; explore

the oldest Chinatown in the world, the magnificent Grand Palace; watch a live Muay Thai fight in Bangkok; or just go crazy and enjoy the night scene of Pattaya. There are so many options, this chronicle hasn’t enought room for all the tips and information I wish to share with you. The best advice I can to give is to visit Thailand for yourself, and enjoy the Land of Smiles.

Till the next adventure. Kop Khun Khrap!

For more information visit www.carlosmeliablog.com or join the Facebook Page Thailand Gay Travel.

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NEVA LOSE FAITH

by Mark Gray

Faith Michaels is a Find “Neva Eva Eva is the song I wanted to write but couldn’t,” admits Faith Michaels from her home in Key West. “While the lyrics for Fetish flowed easily from my heart to the paper, I had a really tough time finding my voice for the second single. I was literally paralyzed by the success of Fetish; fearful I couldn’t top it and that I might forever be thought of as a one trick pony.”

Luckily, the Miami-based Rhythm Rehab boys came to her rescue.

They approached Michaels after her weekly performance at Key West’s Aqua Night Club, and presented her with Neva Eva Eva. “I knew right away that the song was the answer to my prayers,” says Michaels. Its tantalizing club beats would allow her to wear extravagant costumes, a must for the over-the-top performer.

“We are all drag artists,” she says. “Some of us are pretending to be people we are not. Others are hyper-glamorizing their outer selves to match the fabulousness they feel inside.

As long as we are queens, celebrating our personal greatness, and not drags, sucking joy from those around us, it’s all good,” she laughs.

You said in a previous interview that Neva Eva Eva is a song that reminds fans to not take your kindness as weakness. What did you mean by that?

When I released my first single, people would come up to me and congratulate me on my work. Someone asked me, in a rather snotty way: ‘why do you always say thank you and you’re welcome?’ I thought, ‘Why do you think you’re so above thank you and you’re welcome?’ Of course, I didn’t say it. I have manners.

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Does today’s tough world demand that we be bold?

We should always be bold and stand up for what we believe in, but it's a fine line between being bold and acting like a bitch.

What is the main message in Neva Eva Eva? We shouldn’t worry about what the neighbors think. You only get one life – live it!

Would you say that you embody that message?

Well, I've got my tucker on, pads in, boobs in.

I'm a man in a dress. What do you think?

How do you define yourself – are you a female impersonator, tranny, or drag queen?

Female impersonator is the PC way of saying drag queen. I was doing a radio interview once and mentioned I was a drag queen. The interviewer said, ‘what, drag queen?! I thought you were a tranny!’ It's important that people know the difference because that defines us on how we live our everyday life. I live my life as a boy and work as a girl. I am a drag queen.

With the popularity of shows like RuPaul’s Drag Race, do you struggle with people trying to put you in a box?

The world says I should be more like a boy.

I've struggled my whole life with people trying to put me in a box. ‘You should do this; you shouldn't do that.’ Guess what? It's my life. If I wasn't living my life, my way, I wouldn't be lucky enough, sitting here being interviewed by you right now.

Is the success of shows like RuPaul’s Drag Race good or bad for the tran community?

I don't know the role it plays in the tranny community, but in the drag community, I feel it helps by leaps and bounds. It helps people understand what we do and why we do it. It's a show with wigs, costumes, music, comedy, and impersonations. We are performers and you don't have to be gay to love it. Straight people love the show and thank God for them. It takes two of them to make one of us.

How do you distinguish yourself from the ladies featured on the reality TV? Well, I'm not on TV and I can't sew. I suppose that's how I distinguish myself from them.

with an open mind and heart are welcomed.

Do you think the state will ever allow gay marriage?

I would like to think sooner or later it will happen. The state recently overturned the LGBT adoption ban. That’s progress, isn’t it?

What got the ban overturned?

Someone woke up and realized gay parents can raise a child just as well as straight parents. Watch Judge Judy, more than half of those people should not be having kids.

As a community, is it important that we fight for change to happen?

We should always fight for what is fair and what we believe in. If we don’t stand up for ourselves, no one else will.

What’s your message to people who try to steal our freedom and joy?

Miss thing, I suggest you try living your own life, cause mine is nice and nothing you do will change it!

Is Florida a safe place for the tran community?

Our motto in Key West is ‘One Human Family’.

We accept people for who they are. Everyone

www.faithmichaels.com 19

In Review Cancer’s End: Two Months to Live Book

Richard Villalba-Navarette

Stem cell research saved Richard Villalba-Navarette's life. Five years ago, when the single father was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin's lymphoma—a deadly disease with a 0% survival rate—he was told he wouldn't make it through the year. But the single father knew that anything he imagined was possible.

"I made it through that night only to find myself fighting cancer again. This led me to my husband Jake, and at my side he's remained. I wrote Cancer's End to teach others how my battle was the beginning, not the end. Mind over matter. Support. I didn't need anything from anyone; I just wanted others to realize that anything was possible. I have returned to the beauty industry, as a color educator and salon consultant., prepared to train our staff at the new salon named Salon NV in San Jose, CA. I'm celebrating the grand opening of my new salon on February 11. I will also be speaking to people about my fight with cancer. Life has happened for me, and it can for anyone who believes." Cancer's End: Two Months to Live is on shelves now.

List: $16.95, 79 pages, PublishAmerica

Elijah Rising

Lyn Lejeune

Book

From the author of the acclaimed historical thriller, The Beatitudes, comes an intriguing interracial Dust Bowl-era love story about the unlikeliest of partnerships—the son of a wealthy railroad baron and a black fundamentalist preacher, who together, aim to take the gospel to the uncharted American wilderness. Their resulting friendship is a test of both character and compassion as they question race, war, religion and salvation—just as the rest of the nation is ravaged amidst global depression.

List: $14.95, 178 pages, inGroup Press

How to be Gay in the 21st Century Book

David Leddick

Is 80 the new middle age? David Leddick says it is, and you best hear him out. The former advertising executive and veteran Naval officer is a master at virtually everything he's ever set out to do, spreading his proverbial seed the world over. Now at 82, he shows no signs of slowing down. Watch out! His latest book, How to be Gay in the 21st Century, packs enough sarcastic wit and sincerity to knock the wildest gay taboo out of the park. Aging is a topic Leddick knows all too well, proving with perpetual hilarity that misplacing one's mojo has absolutely nothing to do with getting older.

List: $14.95, 72 pages, White Lake Press

Multicultural Intelligence Book

David Morse

Multicultural Intelligence is a refreshingly simple start to considering race, ethnicity, and sexual orientation in your marketing plan. The book gives some basic insight into several cultural and sociological demographics that make up American society and effectively helps the reader incorporate the similarities and differences into a marketing communications plan. I give the author credit for this book, because he is one of the few authors that incorporate LGBT Americans as one of the cultural groups for marketing consideration.

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Coming Out Can Be Murder

Renee James

Book

To Renee James, writing a book is a lot like parenting—it’s never over, you just run out of time. The Chicago native doesn’t have any kids of her own, but as a first-time novelist, the trans female writer is nonetheless navigating uncharted waters. Her upcoming novel, Coming Out Can Be Murder, follows Bobbi, a trans female hairdresser, as she looks for her friend’s killer and comes to terms with herself in the process.

“The book is very humanizing. It makes people feel what it’s like to be a transgender person. When I finally decided it was ready to show publishers, I felt a sort of parental love for it—like I had created something that would go into the world to do wonderful things for humanity,” states James.

Renee continues, “In the middle of the last decade, I started writing a fictional journal during business trips. It started out as an exploration of what my life would have been like if, at age 38, I had decided to transition and live as a woman full time. Most of us trans people have a lot of fantasies about what it would be like to live in the “other” gender. The journal forced me to go beyond the fantasy and consider the hard realities of transitioning.

What emerged was a unique and fascinating character—not me, but much more honest and textured and very complex. Bobbi is cursed with some of my characteristics. I made her a hairdresser because I love doing hair and I wanted her to be artistic. I made her a very masculine, oversized transwoman because that’s what I am and because I wanted her to have to deal with that reality.

My publisher asked me once what I wanted to accomplish with this book. I found myself telling her about how reading John Grisham’s Street Lawyer affected me. It changed how I regarded homeless people. Now as a result, I don’t avoid eye contact with homeless people.

I have conversations with them and my world is better for it. That’s my ambition for the book—that it will change people’s perceptions of transgender men and women.”

Coming Out Can Be Murder hits the shelves in June. List: $12.99, 272 pages, Windy City Publishers

The One Movie

A film by Caytha Jentis

Some call it pre-wedding jitters, but in this particular film, I would say the subconscious is sending direct signals, with a clear message to the main character Daniel, letting him know he is headed down the wrong road. Daniel, a young successful banker living in Manhattan is about to marry Jen, when he randomly runs into old college buddy Tommy. Now begins the relatable drama associated with any secret love affair, along with the humor of Tommy’s best friend Stephen, who adds a touch of humor in his voice of reason. This fun film of self discovery allows the viewer an enchanting opportunity to explore their own conclusions in romance.

Inlaws & OUTLAWS DVD

A Drew Emery film

An inspiring and eye-opening documentary that tenderly embraces love, whether gay or straight. While there is love in many forms, behind veils are hidden devastations brought to light that reach right to your emotions. A whitty and entertaining view of the heart.

Transformational Diversity Book Fiona Citkin, Ph.D., and Lynda Spielman, Ph.D., GPHR As institutions and companies struggle with global growth and cultural issues in the workplace, we have learned that our strategy for diversity and understanding needs to be changed. Transformational Diversity is both a strategy and an implementation for the road map of a new brand of diversity, one that is inclusive of employee populations and contributing to an organizations global preparedness.

The book is not just a tool for Human Resource (HR) professionals, but should be a tool for all managers and senior managers. Management, as a whole, should have an understanding of working with an increasingly diverse workforce population and be able to use the road map, with the guidance of HR, to better manage their teams. Transformational Diversity is a must have for any company that does or wants to have a global workforce.

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Ne w Yo r k ?

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EQUALITY ON EARTH

Worldwide LGBT Equality March April 21, 2012

At various locations around the world 2012 is the 42nd Anniversary of EARTH DAY and 2012 is also the 42nd Anniversary of the very First GAY PRIDE PARADE that took place in New York City.

EARTH DAY 2012 promotes environmental awareness and will focus on BUILDING THE ENVIRONMENTAL MOVEMENT & ENGAGING NEW ENVIRONMENTAL ACTIVISTS AROUND THE GLOBE! The 2012 WORLDWIDE LGBT Civil Rights MARCH will focus on the RENEWED LGBT MOVEMENT & ENGAGING LGBT CIVIL RIGHTS ACTIVISTS AROUND THE GLOBE Committee Chairman of the 2012 WORLDWIDE LGBT Civil Rights March – Author and Activist Joe (J.C.) Knudson

Join the other 20,000 members at:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/letsreach1millionpeoplecampaignlgbtequality/ 23

“America’s Vacationland” Florida

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Destination Florida ... our sun-sational top #1 Sandspur Beach Located in Bahia Honda State Park on Big Pine Key in the Florida Keys, Sandspur Beach, with its achingly beautiful, crystal clear turquoise water and baby powder white sand is most certainly my favorite place in Florida. With no waves and no lifeguards, this secluded paradise on the Atlantic Ocean is certainly sensational.

Sandspur Beach

#2 Key West One of the most popular gay destinations in America! Atlantic Ocean, Gulf of Mexico, beaches, activities, Caribbean suntans, tropical climates, museums, theatres, and nightlife that lasts until sunrise… Need I say more? #3 Daytona Beach Whether you’re a local or a visitor, chances are you will have a car.

Daytona Beach offers something unique! There’s no need to find public parking and lug your beach bag, towel, and chair, the hard packed sand allows you to drive and park right on the beach, just steps from the Atlantic Ocean. Daytona is also famous for annual events such as speedweek and bikeweek! #4 Marco Island Described as magical, mystical and alluring, this world-class resort destination is surrounded by miles and miles of pristine, uninhabited islands, bays, creeks, and the Gulf of Mexico. Take a catamaran tour or ride on a 105’ long paddlewheel boat that serves lunch and dinner.

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#7 Ft. Lauderdale Ft. Lauderdale offers its own culture of shopping and beach life with a suburban feel. It is not hard to comfortably nestle right in to this slightly calmer version of its neighboring city of Miami. It has all the benefits without the “glam” effect. #8 The Palm Beaches Known as America’s first resort destination (1894), the Palm Beaches of Florida, offer everything from a fascinating array of cultural venues, to celebrity chef-owned restaurants, and golfing on world-class courses. Located on the Atlantic Ocean, just an hour north of Miami and complete with a state-of-the-art, world class marina.

#5 Miami Located on the Atlantic Ocean, Miami offers a first class paradise.

Home to the ‘rich and famous,’ with million dollar properties, yachts, and a beach that is known for its sexy bodies, art deco décor and neon nightlife on Ocean Drive, which are unmistakable.

#9 Tampa Ybor City today is one of only two National Historic Landmark Districts in Florida, with its red brick buildings, wrought iron balconies and narrow brick streets. Tampa’s “Latin” Quarter” is an exotic blend of aromas, flavors, sights and sounds. Cuban coffee, Latin music, salsa dancing, Spanish, Cuban, Italian, Greek & French cuisine, as well as authentic tapas are just the beginning!

#6 Disney World Magic Kingdom, Epcot, Blizzard Beach, Animal Kingdom, Hollywood Studios and Typhoon Lagoon create the scene for the most epic of vacations! From breakfast with Cinderella in her castle to the spectacular lightshow where Tinkerbell flies through mid-air, thrill seeking rides and a variety of water filled fun, entertainment at these parks is limitless.

#10 Seaside Leave your car keys at the bedside when you explore the quaint, local flavor of Seaside, Florida. There seems to be a slower pace in this small beachside town located on the Gulf of Mexico. Enjoy specialty art galleries and unique accessory shops, along with cozy café’s and shrimp shacks, all in walking distance from just about anywhere in town.

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Sea

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From the picturesque palm trees and tantalizing turquoise water, to the roaming roosters, eclectic décor, and diversity of the locals, Key West is a place where you can feel free to be who you want and come as you are!

Time, in essence, comes to a halt when you arrive. When Jimmy Buffet said “It’s 5:00 Somewhere,” he must have been sitting in Mallory Square, watching the breathtaking view as the sun sets in the southern most point of the United States. On this island, that stretches approximately 4 miles long and 2 miles wide, you are welcome to do nothing at all, or anything you want… the possibilities are endless. Enjoy diving, fishing, or golfing on a course designed

by Rees Jones; discover gingerbread mansions, the John Audubon House, Ernest Hemingway's home, or walk through tin-roofed conch houses; go parasailing, boating or bike riding; and best of all, grab a bite at some of the most unique and succulent restaurants in America! I personally recommend brunch at Blue Heaven, where you can dine at a picnic table in their backyard among the greenery, with the wandering chickens and roosters, for a mouthwatering meal!

“Drag shows, commitment ceremonies, water excursions, late night parties, beaches, clothing optional resorts, and the only gay & lesbian historic trolley tour make our island the preeminent LGBT vacation choice. But the best part about our town is our open and accepting attitude. “One Human Family” is our city motto, and our closets are only used for our costumes!” Perfectly stated by the Key West Business Guild Office & Visitor Center.

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Key West

For event information and all things Gay Key West related, surf on over to: gaykeywestfl.com. This simple and organized website, clearly allows you to browse events, accommodations, restaurants, attractions, shopping and nightlife activities. Not to mention, they have an incredible photo of their Key West Pride celebration that includes a rainbow flag held by hundreds!

If you have been lucky enough to experience “island life,” then I’m sure Key West is on your top 10 list of favorite destinations! If not, I would certainly recommend adding this fantastic, flavorful destination to your bucket list.

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tatistics show that over 80% of boys and men do not come forward about abuse out of fear and shame. Patrick Dati was one of those statistics, but after years of depression and attempts with suicide, he has decided to COME OUT and tell his story.

Patrick is an active speaker and public advocate for several anti-child abuse and anti-bullying organizations, such as National Association of Adult Survivors of Child Abuse and RAINN-Rape, the Abuse & Incest National Network.

He was also recently chosen by the SAMHSA/U.S. Department of Human Services as a spokesperson for their 2012 National Trauma Campaign.

A Man on a Mission A mission to break the silenc

e and end bullying!

Patrick speaks publicly to promote education and awareness about the serious issues of child sexual abuse, and to help others break their silence regarding bullying.

Patrick survived to finally "break the silence" that plagued him throughout his life. Patrick claims to be a victim of notorious serial killer John Wayne Gacy. One fateful day when Patrick was just a child, he was raped in a public restroom, and had his life threatened to never tell anyone about the assault. This would profoundly affect Patrick's life and haunted him as he suffered alone with this secret.

Patrick has now broken his silence and has written a memoir about the abuse and bullying he endured from an older brother throughout his childhood and adult life. The memoir is also a torturous coming out story of a man raised in the midst of a devout Catholic family.

He attempted suicide twice, and found freedom and himself within these three simple words: “I have survived.�

Please visit Patrick's website at www.youandmecanstopbullies.com for more information.

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photo courtesy B. Doupe

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More Man

Justin Utley on Music, Mormonism, and Masturbating CM: Justin Utley, pop icon?

JU: In today's world of "pop" icons, it seems to me that many—not all—are media-made, and the artist is a complete production of a record label and investors, so what you're seeing and hearing isn't truly an artist, but a scripted, produced, media celebrity. When I think of pop icons I think of the influences of John Lennon, Michael Jackson, or David Bowie. They defined their music, their image, and for the most part, had complete control of their art. In that case, it would be fantastic to be considered a pop icon.

So sign me up.

CM: You must not care a whole lot for Speaker Newt Gringrich.

JU: I think Gingrich is a fantastic example of what a majority of politicians today have evolved into.

CM: How was it growing up conservative in Utah?

JU: I grew up in a suburb of Salt Lake City.

Compared to the rest of the state, the city itself is fairly liberal. The further away from the city

CM: You made it through gay therapy.

CM: How has the big city been for your career?

JU: When I first got to New York in 2006 I was told I shouldn't be “out” until I made it. I took that advice for a bit before I realized that it was putting me right back to where I was in my Utah days. That wasn't going to work for me or my music, since I’m writing from within. If I can't be honest with my audience or myself, then why am I doing this?

CM: You’ve got sex appeal. Ever wish you didn’t?

JU: I'm grateful to have what I got. I would hope that it adds to whatever my appeal is as an artist. In reality, sex appeal does help tremendously in the entertainment business, though not necessarily a deal-breaker in some cases. I've never resented it, but as a teenager I did struggle with not feeling comfortable, at all, with how I looked. Girls would talk to me a lot, which left some guys pretty upset, to the point I got called some pretty ugly things behind closed doors.

So, I suppose at that point in my life, I resented any "appeal" I had going on, since I was pretty self-conscious. It took a lot of time to become confident that I wasn't all that bad looking, relatively speaking. Coming out was probably a big help in finally becoming comfortable with myself on all levels. I'd have to say I really owe thanks to my parents for not putting me into child labor, and for giving me fluoride pills as a kid. Helps with the teeth. Mormons take big pride in their smiles.

I think it's an Osmond thing. My mom's side of the family is from Sicily, so that helps with the complexion a bit too.

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So I had a feeling from that point that something wasn't quite on point. I wasn't very good at settling for a warm and fuzzy glossed over answer, or the infamous "we don't know for sure but we'll find out in the next life, so just be obedient and don't worry about it" answer. There were a myriad of other questions I never really got a direct answer to. I was told to not look outside church-approved sources, since they were all false, and that evil forces were trying to discredit the truth. "Just follow in faith and everything will be okay."

you get, the more socially conservative it becomes.

Most of my neighbors were Mormon, which is pretty common there. So I'd see most of them at school, at church, the grocery store. In Utah, the church is also a big social driver and a culture as well, which can pose a problem for those not of the flock. My first religious conflict was when I'd bought a can of iced tea in junior high school and brought it home. The next morning my dad woke me up and gave me a stern reminder that God didn't want me having iced tea. Or coffee, or alcohol, or tobacco, or heroin. It was all part of the health code, which I hadn't realized included corn syrup-enhanced Lipton. The health code also included a directive to eat "very little meat", which it seemed most everyone turned a blind eye to.

JU: Growing up I wasn't too clear on what homosexuality was. But having it compared to bestiality was enough for most of us kids in ignorance to get the drift. One thing made absolutely clear to me, was that homosexuality was lumped into a category with sexual perversions, and second only to murder on the sin-barometer.

Prior to my Mormon mission, I was interviewed by a Stake President—the bishop's boss— to get his stamp of approval and was told, and actually shown in a current official church guidebook, that masturbation was a homosexual act. I was also informed that it can lead to homosexuality since it doesn't involve the opposite sex and, again, was directed to something a Mormon prophet had said. Of course, nothing more horrifying to any kid than being told by your spiritual leader that masturbating puts you in cahoots with the perverts and can make you gay. It invokes an immediate internal negotiation with God that you would never masturbate again so long as you don't have to admit it to the Stake President or bishop. Since admitting to it meant certain spiritual death. Or at least embarrassment. When I realized I was gay I was on my mission. I saw porn for the first time, at a bishop's house on his Internet history that hadn't been cleared. When I got home from my mission, I was encouraged by a bishop to enroll in one-on-one counseling with a therapist, in a facility run by the church and bound by church social-science, in addition to a group therapy. I was told I had a "condition" and

that it could be treated. I learned that my "same gender attraction" was caused by something traumatic that happened to me as a child that I just didn't remember, along with any parental neglect or smothering that may have occurred. I believed it, partly because at the time I wanted it to be true, and partly because being told by God's chosen leaders made it true. I started therapy immediately. At first I was elated to finally not feel so alone, that there were other people like me.

And it made sense to me at the time. Learned or conditioned "behavior" was what this "attraction problem" was about. Two years and many therapy sessions of self-convincing later, I realized that all of the convincing, praying, temple and church attendance wasn't fixing my "attraction problem".

I did meet some wonderful people in the program along the way, but I wasn't any happier than before I started. It was actually the opposite. A church for an exalted afterlife promised only to married and devout Mormons seemed further and further from reality. I saw a lot of guys on medication, talks of suicide, and guys who'd been attending for years without any "progress". Meanwhile I met a guy from Denver online, so I decided to stop therapy and try a different route. About six months into seeing each other, I got an email from his brother that he had died in his sleep. He overdosed. I was devastated. And I wasn't really out to anyone outside the confines of this therapy ordeal, so I went back to my bishop and was told that God allowed him to die because he didn't approve of one of His Latter-Day Saints being in a homosexual relationship. At that moment I decided I'd had enough of the faith/fear talk. It wasn't going to work anymore. I had enough of it.

I eventually left the church and sent the leadership an official resignation. A "self-excommunication" letter, as I call it. I now drink coffee and tea and I am completely and wholeheartedly happy doing so. Although I was always told happiness would never result from wickedness.

Rannells, one of the leads in the show, at the recent "It Gets Better Holiday Concert" and talked about the reaction of church members versus the general public. There are some church members who refuse to see it because they claim it presents false beliefs. But they eventually find they really don't know what the show is about. Keeping a closed book or closed mind makes for better comedy and shock value so, in my mind, why not be open to seeing it? Then again, it's this sort of thinking that got me into trouble with iced tea.

CM: How do you describe your music style for someone who hasn't heard you before?

JU: A little bit of Daughtry, Melissa Etheridge and Sheryl Crow mixed up with some Goo Goo Dolls, Rob Thomas, Dixie Chicks, and Jim Brickman. In short, alt country rock.

CM: Of the songs you've written, do you have a favorite? Your favorite from the new album?

JU: One of my all times faves is Shades of Gray tied with Goodbye Goodbye. As for my favorite from the new album, I would have to say State Of Loneliness and It Is What It Is are tied. At least for this month.

CM: What's next?

JU: Spending the next few months promoting the new album, filming begins on the Great Escape music video in February, and rehearsing for a full-band show in NYC this March. Then onto planning all the summer Pride gigs. Full plate again this year. I like it that way.

Find Justin on twitter @JustinUtley

C.Antonio writes about social movements and social media.

Contact him at CAntonioWrites@gmail.com

CM: You won for Best Actor in a Musical at the 2009 Planet Connections New York Theater Festival. What’s your take on the Broadway show Book of Mormon?

photos courtesy Kevin Tachman

JU: It's fantastic. I recommend it to Mormons and non-Mormons alike. Interestingly enough, the references to some of the really peculiar beliefs mentioned, such as blacks being cursed, or the planet Kolob in "I Believe", are actual Mormon doctrines that aren't really discussed at all, outside church. I performed with Andrew

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Gay by: Joe Stabb

Don’t fret or lose your way, gay travel is at your fingertips. Here are some trusty apps that will take you any place but home.

Gay Scout https://damron.com/gayscout.php

Long gone are the days of going to the bookstore for your Damron to guide you to the gayest places on Earth. The Damron app, Gay Scout, can now be your tour guide for LGBT travel around the world. Gay Scout lists 9,000 LGBT-inclusive businesses in 1,830 U.S. areas, but is only available for the iPhone.

GayCities http://www.gaycities.com/

Everyone likes a little group action and that is what GayCities is all about. This is a crowdsourcing app that mixes the social network of GayCities.com with a “check-in” option like Foursquare. This app isn’t just hotels, bars and shops, it lists nearby events, who’s going, and what’s popular. More than just a directory, this app helps you make your decisions based on comments and information from other users.

AGaySpot http://www.atobstudios.com/A_to_B_Studios/AGaySpot.html

If it is just sex you are looking for, then you won’t have a problem with this app. AGaySpot is a lifestyle and travel directory for gay, bisexual, and otherwise curious men that shows adult venues nearest to your current location.

With over 1,000 listings in 47 U.S. states and 6 Canadian provinces you can view locations sorted by distance or by state and city. Don’t forget to play safe with this app!

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Celebrating 25 years of amplifying the voice of the LGBT community!

Become a member today!

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d r a H e i D

Eighty-something David Leddick is secure in his sexuality. And the sex has never been better.

To David Leddick, matrimony is anything but bliss, and cheating is fine. His answer to careerism: find a new one every 10 years.

And if you’re Leddick, it makes total sense.

At age 65, he began career number four.

Now in his 80s, the author is hell-bent on reporting back from what he calls the “uncharted area of aging”. If he were a captain, he would have an enormous ship’s log. With 21 books and three more on the way, Leddick is now an authority on aging for gay men. I didn’t get around to asking if he felt like a vampire, having lived for so long, but the bite marks on one so devilishly determined to experience it all, are enough to make even the most inconsolable creature long for immortality.

CM: For your blog, David’s Gay Dish, you answer a question about sex once every day.

DL: After my guest column for The Huffington Post, my readership spiked— up a thousand hits in two days—about half women. One of my readers is happily married but her sex life is completely kaput.

And it bothers her a lot. She’s probably

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between 55 and 65. So I said to her, you know you can love somebody but still sleep with someone else.

CM: What of the evangelicals?

DL: I know, darling. But listen, let's grow up.

Americans are great prudes. The French are never surprised to find that some happily married person is having an affair. I'm going to take a stand on this too, because I think having a sex life is crucial. If I still have a sex life when I'm 90, I will have accomplished something.

CM: You're impossibly young for a man in his 80s. What's your secret to peak performance?

DL: You have to keep exercising. I think 80 to 90 is middle age. Part of the mindset is you think you're old. I'm at the gym with the trainer twice a week, lifting heavier weights than I ever have. I have ballet class twice a week. I've been dancing for 60 years and I'm better now than I've ever been. My body keeps changing.

It's changing now. The thing about ballet is you can keep getting better. For the most part, dancers live to be quite old. Somebody read

my book and told me, you must be the best piece of ass in the whole world. I said, how would I have any way to judge? I'm spiritual.

I mean, I'm not much into the "woowoo" stuff but you're here to learn about yourself.

If you don't know yourself sexually, what are you doing here? It's about feeling the blood in your veins. People are attracted to you because you're alive. Whoever is in there is attractive to other people. And it's about being able to be interested in others. Some people are so wrapped up in themselves, they can't get interested in anyone else. You have to care more about your lover than yourself.

CM: You split your time between Miami and South America. That’s hot.

DL: Uruguay is the country of the future. It's small—only 3 million people—and largely agrarian. The River Platt is 40 miles wide.

It's like being on the ocean. They don't turn their back on the water. There's magic to them. Somewhere along the line they went from the 1950s into a different world. Our world comes into focus when you go there and come back, you know?

that image is everything. You have to sell the same thing everyone else has, but make it look fabulous. They've been loyal to me. I had a strong position within the agency. The trick was not to care. You couldn't pay attention to people telling you that you had no talent, that you were terrible, etcetera. In 1976, I launched Jontue, a floral green fragrance for women. We had commercials in Europe with a girl running.

Sensual but not too far from innocence—that type of thing. The fragrance has its own fan club on YouTube.

CM: Did you ever get bored with it?

DL: I worked in advertising, as an outside supplier, until I was 65, which was very rare.

I was International Creative Director for Loreal. If things backed up on you, you were dead. I was also a television director in Paris during that time, and I managed the Robert Joffrey ballet company in New York as well.

Advertising is in a bad way right now, you never know if people are watching.

CM: Speaking of watching, how is your sex life right now?

DL: Excellent. My lover is a lot younger than I am. He’s in South America—I call him Mr. Buenos Aires. We're very involved, interdependent. In your 80’s you don't have to plan for the future—romance, love, etcetera.

I’ve always lived for romance, never interested in domesticity. I don't want to sit around with some guy who's bored with me.

CM: But what about marriage equality?

CM: You were a seaman. So was Gore Vidal— another writer in his 80s.

DL: I actually read his book, Williwaw, when I was in the Navy. Vidal's greatest characteristic is he's not terribly concerned with what other people think of him. And that's a good thing.

Being concerned with what other people think of you is very 20th century. The idea is shifting, and a lot of it has to do with young people.

One example is that the attitude toward gay people has evolved. I never cared.

CM: At one point you were Global Director of Revlon’s worldwide advertising.

DL: My advertising career—I started when I was 28—took place in the advertising age, during Madmen times. Revlon was always on the yearly 10 worst clients list. So much yelling and carrying on. But they always spent money. They were the class of the mass, early to understand

DL: I myself am not interested in gay marriage because I' never wanted to be married. You're involved with someone you don't care about, which makes it impossible to meet someone you might care about. Most heterosexual marriages look awful. I look at a lot of gay marriages and I don't think they're sleeping together. It's wonderful for the kids, but if you're not sexually involved with your partner then why the hell are you there?

For a mish-mash of sex advice, fashion and pop culture commentary, visit David's Gay Dish at http://davidsgaydish.blogspot.com/.

C.Antonio writes about social movements and social media.

Contact him at CAntonioWrites@gmail.com

photos courtesy David Vance

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Vitambi Springs Resort

Vitambi (Vee-tom’-bee)

– a tribal African word meaning – Pride

269 acres of century-old oak trees, tropical palms and majestic pines that shelter four-themed campgrounds, rental homes, an inn, secluded cabins and bungalows, is only the beginning of this rare exotic getaway resort.

The campground offers several choices for accommodations. The Pine Tree Inn is for those who like more traditional arrangements; it offers a dorm-style experience with private rooms and shared bathrooms. If you and your friends need more space and privacy, try one of the two or three bedroom homes complete with kitchen and living areas or

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secluded nature cabins. The Barracks offers military-style shared accommodations with other recruits, while individuals or groups may prefer the cowboy camp with its mesa lookout tower, the heavily wooded medieval camp or the pirate hideaway camp nestled in a tropical jungle setting.

Other visitors may just want to simply pitch a tent in one of the expansive campsites or a remote area of the wilderness park.

Not far from any camp is the Big Oak Lodge and Scrub Palm Spa with its spacious new shower house, including individual dressing areas, sparkling fixtures, tile floors, air conditioning and lockers for day use

"We just spent our first of what will surely be many weekends at Vitambi! The property is beautiful and perfectly rustic! Great friendly hospitality from all staff. Thanks Martin , Wayne, Neal and Steve ... You guys are great! See you soon!”

-Richard and Bob

members. Other amenities include; the Bongo Bar, Woof ’s dog park, a lakeside dock with a screened pavilion, a regulation-size beach volleyball court, miles of scenic hiking and biking trails and the Olympus gym.

The offerings at Vitambi Springs are as unique and diverse as the community it serves. Managing Member, Steve McCloud says, “we’re building much more than a campground, we’re building a community.”

This all-male, member’s only, vacation camping resort is centrally located in Florida, just south of Lake Okeechobee.

photos courtesy Vitambi Springs

www.Vitambi.com

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41

Destiny by Design Destiny USA is a new 2.4 million square foot destination in Upstate New York, which includes the existing Carousel Center, a dominant super regional shopping center already attracting 20 million annual visitors. In December 2011, Travel+Leisure Magazine cited Carousel Center as being the 14th most visited shopping mall in the United States, and after completion of the expansion, they project that Destiny USA will be the 2nd most popular mall in America!

Coming in 2012: The interior design features a huge three-story, sky-lit canyon, flooding natural light throughout the mall. The canyon is encompassed by trellised archways, greenery and living plant life, a unique design that creates a contemporary European feel.

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For the shopping enthusiast, stores such as BCBG Max Azria, Michael Kors, Saks Off 5th, Ferragamo and Off Broadway Shoes will open throughout various months in 2012. For the bargain hunter, find the Hartmann Outlet, the GUESS? Outlet and Johnston & Murphy Factory Outlet for name brand deals. For the hungry, stop in to The Melting Pot, Cantina Laredo or Toby Keith’s I Love This Bar and Grill for some great grub! And to really take a shopping mall to the next level of innovation, check out the night life on the third floor: sip on a martini at AJA or take in a few games of bowling at Revolutions!

For those of you on a mission to support gay-friendly companies with a proven record of diversity inclusion, The Melting Pot is at the top of our list as a gay-friendly franchise.

They offer an interesting diversity statement:

“The Melting Pot system has franchisees from many different backgrounds and career paths. We encourage and welcome franchisees from diverse backgrounds, cultures and lifestyles.”

Innovation & Creativity: The existing Carousel Center shopping mall was built 21 years ago by The Pyramid Companies of Syracuse, New York. As stated by Bob Congel, the company’s Founder, “the proven success of Carousel Center is what led us to develop Destiny USA; our goal was to create the largest “green” retail facility and introduce outlet shopping combined with high end fashion, as well as dining and entertainment, all in one complex.” The

artist's rendering

company prides itself on attracting unique tenant mixes that work well together and draw visitors from a diverse background.

Leif Kallquist of Holmes/King/Kallquist & Associates, Architects stated “there is no other retail property quite like this one. With its unified modular storefront system and unique interior design features.” Holmes/King/Kallquist & Associates is the design architect for the interior common area of Destiny USA. The Pyramid Companies have invested in the City of Syracuse, including the development of Carousel Center and Destiny USA. Further development plans incorporate more than 120 acres of adjoining property, including hotels.

$1.2 billion

The Eco-friendly Initiative: Destiny USA is on track to be one of the largest LEED® certified “green” buildings in the country. All new retailers joining the expansion will be LEED® certified, making this the largest concentration of LEED® Certified businesses in one location.

Even after the ribbon cutting ceremony to celebrate completion of construction, “green” efforts still continue…there are electric car charging stations available in several parking locations, as well as a rainwater harvesting unit, in which water is collected from the roof, dispatched through a series of pipes, distributed into a lined pond, and then circulated to public restrooms and businesses for use as non-potable toilet water.

In short:

A New Kind of Destination – Combining retail, entertainment and dining in one of the largest shopping centers in the country.

Luxury Stores & Factory Outlets For updates and all things Destiny USA related, visit www.facebook.com/DestinyUSA

Restaurants and EntertainmentNationally recognized dining opportunities surrounded by a three story glass atrium A stunning indoor environment with perfect weather year-round This expansion will bring an estimated 1600 employment opportunities to the local community A “Green” Building - The largest LEED® Certified commercial retail project in the country

photos courtesy Stuart Gallagher Photography

43

How toBELIEVE,

Y

when there is No Proof in Sight!

ou have dreams that you would like to live out. You have areas of your life that you really want to change for the better. But there is one thing that you don’t have that will stop you from realizing your dreams and desires … an unwavering BELIEF that it CAN happen, no matter what you are facing right now in your life.

With another New Year upon us, it got me thinking about what I can share with you that would positively impact how your 2012 will unfold and have a significant impact on what is possible for you to create in this upcoming year. Imagine if this year could end up being your BEST YEAR YET and that’s all you had to do was just change one thing. How cool would that be?

I started thinking about things that I want to change in my own life that sometimes seem like they are taking longer than I would like them to.

Do you ever have that feeling? (I am seeing your head nod!)

I truly believe that if we look for the “proof positive”, we will find it. This works both ways, because if you look for the “negative proof ”, you will find that too! What you choose to give your attention to strongly impacts what you attract next into your life.

So, I decided to look for the “proof positive”. I looked back on my life and thought about something that I changed for the positive, that at the time seemed almost impossible ... it was a BIGGIE, and there seemed to be no proof in front of me that it could change drastically for the better.

I took a pen and paper and started jotting down what I did during those times that I could learn from and apply in other areas of my life that aren't changing as quickly as I would like them to.

And it made me think about answering this question: What does it take to have 100% Faith and Belief when there is NO proof in front of you that what you desire to change in your life is ever going to happen? (and how the heck do you get there?!)

This brought to mind the time when I was diagnosed with MS. There was something different I did with that adversity ... something that has a lesson in it for everyone who wants to change any area of their life that seems really challenging - those areas of your life where it is very difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Here's what I did differently or chose to embrace that resulted in a positive outcome for me:

by Maria Lesetz, Health & Happiness Coach

(Note … you can apply this to ANY area of your life that you want to change!)

A conviction of “Hell No”, this is not the way it is going to be. I decide.

A detachment from how or when it is going to turn around; An openness to LET GO of that HOW. No self-imposed time restrictions – just knowing it will be fine.

A belief that it doesn’t have to be that way, things can get better and will.

A deserving feeling … one that said “I am worth it. I deserve to experience great health!”

Proof that I had already succeeded at losing excess weight after many years (70 lbs) – knowing that even if it took a long time, I DID IT! Having something to live for / look forward to ... I focused on the blessings I did have in my life: the love of my life, the beautiful home I had, etc.

A strength that came from within (maybe linked to being the strong one in the family) – queen of the emotional fortress. (got to “buck up” here) A declaration to the Universe / God of my desire to be drug-free – experiencing great health and taking excellent care of my body the natural way. I declared to the Universe OUTLOUD "I don't know HOW this is going to happen, but one day I will be drug-free!" And IT HAPPENED! Having the seed planted in my head by a doctor who said “this can be just a bump in the road”. Even though the way he meant it was not the way I took it, the message still resonated on a very deep level and I just took it to the extreme positive.

What would it take for you to embrace the attitude of ..."This is just another bump in the road of my life and I will get over it!"

I had a plan and made a clear-cut decision that from here on in I was going to make my overall health and well-being my #1 priority. I decided to eliminate all sources of stress, since stress is the cause of most illness and dis-ease! And boy, did that have a positive impact!

www.LovinLifeNow.com Maria@MariaLesetz.com Chief Happiness Officer of Lovin’ Life Coaching

So, what did you learn from this list?

Can you see where you can apply many of these steps to that one area of your life that you really want to change?

What did you notice as a common theme throughout each of these steps?

I decided that things were going to be different, even when what was in front of me didn't point to that.

I decided. I chose my future path before there was any proof that it could show up.

What would it take for YOU to make a 180 degree change in the #1 area of your life that you constantly want to improve?

What attitude would you have to embody and embrace in order to watch 2012 unfold as your best year yet?

Anything is possible. Can you feel the energy of that right now?

Could legalizing marijuana make way for the next big American industry?

Marijuana, weed, pot, cannabis, kind bud, grass, reefer, 420; the infamous herb has a long list of names and is loved by legions.

Yet despite its colorful disposition and massive following, marijuana continues to be demonized by many. Kermit understood well when he said it’s not easy being green. But is all of that about to change? Could pot make way for the next American industry?

Giving pot a legitimate marketplace stateside is probably nothing to worry about. In fact, research suggests it isn’t nearly as harmful to consume as alcohol or cigarettes. And new studies emphasize the drug’s creative attributes via complex associations during a process known as ‘divergent thinking’.

The New World has a long history with the plant; it’s out there and has been for a while--ever since the English brought it to Jamestown in the early 1600s. Rumor has it marijuana was popularized by jazz musicians and entertainers during prohibition in the early 1900s. It wasn’t until the Controlled Substances Act of 1970 that the drug fell from grace, leading to the eventual crackdown of marijuana farms by the U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) in the 1980s. But the new prohibition would only make things worse. The ‘war on drugs’ has drawn a parallel to the roaring 20s when Capone and company transformed quiet Chicago streets into killing fields. The only difference is that now we’ve deported the killing abroad, so many Americans don’t see the danger because their streets are relatively safe. At least for now.

Carl Sagan, Richard Feynman and Walter Benjamin have all advocated use of the drug, both for its therapeutic quality and for it’s facilitation of creativity. Currently, medical marijuana is available in more than a dozen U.S. states and the District of Columbia, and is used to treat a handful of conditions including Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), migraine headaches, depression and HIV. Longtime American culture--film, music and literature--owes a lot to marijuana. It’s an unspoken truth that’s allowed many Americans to develop a sort of loyalty for the drug. Unlike heroin and meth, for instance, marijuana can nestle comfortably into the daily routines of average Americans without turning the whole world upside down. And for that, a growing number of tax-paying citizens are grateful. Just take Vincent Von Dudler from Lake Jackson, Texas, who recently left this comment on the Global Post news site:

“There are no valid reasons why marijuana should have ever been outlawed. The probability of addiction to marijuana through heavy use is on par with that of caffeine (much lower than alcohol and tobacco), and no one is crying out for caffeine prohibition, never mind alcohol or cigarettes. . . but the United States isn’t prepared for recreational legalization of drugs like cocaine yet. That doesn’t mean I think that people caught with cocaine or caught selling cocaine to other adults should go to prison. Prison does not benefit anyone and a harm reduction approach is what we should be aiming for.”

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Not Easy

Being Green

America Is Going To Pot

Mexico have been attributed to demand for the herb over a short 5-year period. One likely reason is that inexperienced traffickers looking to earn the title of “sicario” (hitman) often start by moving marijuana, not cocaine, meth or heroin like Hollywood seems to think.

Then there’s the mass incarceration epidemic, which leaves us with prisons packed with first-time petty offenders and a system that’s perpetuated a Jim Crow brand of racism throughout the country, as if slavery never disappeared but instead evolved to the sensibility of contemporary bigotry. During a 2010 episode of the 700 Club, television evangelist Pat Robertson came out in favor of marijuana legalization. “Criminalizing marijuana is costing us a fortune and ruining young people,” he said. “They go into prison as youths and come out hardened criminals, and it’s not a good thing.” That’s right, Pat Robertson. When right-wing conservative Bible thumpers push for prison reform, things must be pretty bad.

So where does the rest of America stand on the issue? It’s an easy guess, but still wide open to debate. The October 2011 Gallup poll says half of Americans think pot should be legal. My guess is that a good majority has no idea how fast cartels are growing right here in the lower 48, otherwise that number might be higher. According to the Department of Justice, 1,000 U.S. cities hold active Mexican criminal organizations. Statistics like these have no doubt influenced Canada’s Liberal Party to vote in favor of marijuana legalization just this year--a step in the right direction for a country whose status quo “isn’t working,” to quote one Canadian lawmaker.

But how bad is it, exactly? And are Latin American drug cartels the root of the problem? Most sources say no--that continued prohibition remains the real threat to national security. What’s disconcerting is the conflict of interest legalization presents for the government agencies whose job it is to eliminate the drug’s demand. Thirty tons here, 100 tons there; the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) and the DEA have seized sizable quantities of marijuana along the border, and now their setting their sites homeward.

Granted, cocaine and marijuana are seemingly worlds apart.

But why the big drug debate now?

For starters, the death toll is growing. To the south, drug cartels are making more green with the green than they could ever make wrangling white horses; cocaine is generally regarded the more valuable commodity, but it’s actually cannabis that’s the steadiest, most reliable income for traffickers. The National Drug Intelligence Center (NDIC) estimates marijuana earnings in 2005 at about $14.3 billion annually—more than double that of cocaine. Sources say that more than 50,000 deaths in

Given increasing popularity of the drug, bipartisan support in Congress is likely guaranteed. What remains unclear is whether the devil’s lettuce will be the darling of the new American economy. Regardless, one thing is certain: with green back on the market, Americans will have one more reason to wink at their neighbors. Maybe then we’ll be ready to face a few of those persistent demons.

C.Antonio writes about social movements and social media.

Contact him at CAntonioWrites@gmail.com

47

I

decided that my New Year's resolution for 2011 would be to create a cooking blog and learn how to take digital photographs. Since then, what I have discovered is that I love to bake, and photography is now my greatest passion. I carry my camera with me everywhere I go and snap pictures of food at restaurants, festivals, and even the grocery store. You can find me chatting about both baking and photography on Twitter with other foodies and sharing my photographs on Flickr.

I created “A Butch In The Kitchen� as a means to share my own family recipes. The blog is not just for me or about me, but for anyone, gay or straight who also shares the same passion for good food and fun. I just happen to be a BUTCH in the kitchen who loves to cook!

Twitter: @butchinthekitchen Flickr: http://www.flickr.com/photos/58439853@N02/

Strawberry Shortcake Cookies Ingredients: (Makes about 2 dozen cookies) 2 cups flour 2 tsp baking powder 1/2 tsp salt 6 tbsp unsalted butter (cold) cut into small pieces.

1/2 cup plus 1 tablespoon granulated sugar 1-1/2 tsp fresh lemon juice 2/3 cup heavy cream 2-1/4 cups strawberries cut into very small pieces Raw cane sugar (to sprinkle on cookies)(optional) Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Combine and whisk together flour, baking powder, and salt. Add 1/2 cup sugar in same bowl. In another bowl, combine strawberries, 1 tablespoon of granulated sugar, and lemon juice.

Add butter to flour mixture and use hands to work it into the flour until it resembles coarse crumbs. You can also use a pastry cutter to do this. Fold in strawberry mixture and gently stir until thoroughly combined.

Drop dough (about 2 tablespoons) onto baking sheets lined with parchment paper. Sprinkle with cane sugar if desired. Bake for 20-25 minutes or until golden brown.

Cookies will be soft and taste best on the day they're baked.

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photo & recipe courtesy: Butch In The Kitchen

Cashmere

2 ounces Exclusiv Citrus splash of pineapple juice Fill a champagne flute with Exclusiv Moscato Garnish with orange or pineapple slice

What i s Sweet & Savory with a Sp a rkle?

The mixologists at Exclusiv Vodka have created Cashmere, using their newly launched Rose Moscato.

Cultivated from the Muscat, which is the only grape to produce wine that has the same aroma as the grape itself, Exclusiv’s Rose Moscato sparkling red wine is divine! This Moscato is especially unique, due to its roots in Moldova, a country with a deep history of wine cultivation. Grape-growing and wine-making in Moldova began 4-5,000 years ago, and Moldovans now pay a great respect to both wine cultivation and the consumption of it.

Wine-making is both a passion and way of life to Moldovans, and their vineyards reflect their culture, their history, and most of all, their way of thinking. They believe that “the vine brings joy,” and Moldova is now featured in the list of top ten wine-producing countries in the world.

As a huge fan of Moscato in general, I can tell you that I was pleasantly surprised by Exclusiv’s version. A grapey sweetness with frizz that lacks the bitter dry wine aftertaste.

And I must say, there’s nothing more depressing than finding something you absolutely LOVE, just to glance at an over priced tag! I was delighted to learn that unlike many other high-end vodka brands in the US, Exclusiv does not mark up its price for branding, advertising or packaging. Rose Moscato can be found for around $10 per bottle.

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speckled sky

Underneath a star speckled sky

the quiet roar of silence surrounds me Above there's magic

Threaded through this mystic night Her voice is carried by the wind

Though this blanket of darkness consumes infinity I am submissive to its familiar tranquility The night sings Orchestrating the ballad of our lives

wounded wing

The flight of our purpose All at once the story's written

No longer travels on wounded wing

I know in this moment

laughter and light hearts embrace us

All that I am...

Revealing new beginnings

...created by where I’ve been Once living in the shadow of a young woman’s image Today I can see her face

The face of a woman I once thought I knew The voice of a woman I have since found anew

Two Lives separated by time and mile Vindicated love Monumental smiles

purpose Though our night sky now divided Once we lay to sleep united

Underneath a star speckled sky The quiet roar of silence surrounds me The purpose for my life has found me

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E L E H C MI N A L A B She’s genuine, she’s got character and best of all, Balan is hysterical! entertains the crowd with such a broad realm of material, that all her patrons, find themselves rolling in laughter. Michele explains that her show doesn’t revolve around sexuality, or only appeal to specific groups of people, but rather grabs the attention of a diverse audience.

Currently booked as an entertainer on several cruises in 2012, here are a few words from Michele as she travels:

B

“Being in Colombia I was afraid of being sold as a sex slave, but at my age they would just have me do dishes!”

orn and raised in New York City, I think Michele Balan has a ‘leg up’ on the competition. It’s that NY attitude, along with the strong City accent that make a punchline so much funnier. “Laughter brings us together,” she says as she travels the world headlining comedy clubs, theaters, cruises, and corporate events.

Michele made it to the final four on NBC’s “Last Comic Standing,” and her talent beat out all the other female competitors

on the show. She has appeared on The Joy Behar Show, Byron Allen's Comics Unleashed, and the OUTlaugh festival on MTV's LOGO. Michele recently toured with the Smothers Brothers, celebrating their 50th anniversary in show biz! It’s no surprise that she was voted one of the “Top 10 Comics” by Backstage Magazine.

Although Balan is a lesbian, with several humorous comics up her sleeve regarding lesbian life, she

“I truly just bought coffee from a man on a donkey here in Colombia. It's either coffee or bagged donkey shit!”

If Balan had any reservations about leaving her established, high-paying career for the unstable occupation of live-stage entertaining, I would hope that with all the laughter she has brought to the world, she knows that she made the right choice.

Find Michele Balan’s tour schedule on her website at www.michelebalan.com

53

Gay Wedding Directory Gay Wedding Events & Partners US Gay Marriage Laws Wedding Music

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Gay friendly proffessionals 54

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Fabu l ou s

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Women cherish important days of the year, and the remembrance of these special moments always brings smiles and happiness! We’ve found a unique way to honor your anniversary or her birthday with a calendar key necklace or bracelet from Not Just Any Old Day. A sterling silver necklace or bracelet with an inscribed calendar, marked with any special date, including a colored stone of your choice.

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If the Nail Fits Thanks to the innovative, patented nail system by Custom Nail Solutions, you can avoid regular salon appointments, which can be inconvenient and costly. Now you can have your very own set of beautiful nails, custom made to fit your fingers.

The nails are designed from a personal impression, using dental putty, taken from your individual nail beds, which are as unique as your fingerprint. They are removable, reusable and last a lifetime.

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Out of the Shadow, Into the Light LUMEN is a series of acid-etched, stainless steel, oil lamp shadow projectors that move about organically with the flame. This American made product is crafted of stainless steel and has a soft polyethylene base to prevent scratching sensitive surfaces. Designer Adam Frank is an internationally shown artist and truly innovative product inventor. His body of work represents an ongoing investigation of light and interactivity.

This shadow casting oil lamp has been featured in The New York Times, The Los Angeles Times, Dwell and USA Today.

$48.00 http://adamfrank.com

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L to R: Michael Billy, Jonathan Lovitz, Jarl Haugedal

The Next American Gay

photos courtesy Michael Craft

Being on the set, while the Mr Gay World USA organization filmed the reality series to find “The Next American Gay,” had to be one of the most exciting moments of my career.

The enthusiasm, the inspiration, and the unique personalities of each of the contestants, will make for a dramatic reality show that I personally cannot wait to see! Visit mrgayworldusa.com for more information on TV air dates.

for his seasons on LOGO tv’s “Setup Squad" and "1 Girl 5 Gays." He is the new host for the reality show "The Next American Gay". A renowned host, performer, and gay rights advocate, Jonathan travels the country speaking out for marriage rights, GLBT youth issues, and positive exposure for the community. He is also a passionate supporter of arts education and often teaches theatre/dance masterclasses at universities and high schools nationwide.

Host: Jonathan D. Lovitz The adorable Jonathan D. Lovitz is a stage and actor, model, and speaker, most famous 56screen www.connextionsmagazine.com

Jonathan graduated Summa Cum Laude from the University of Florida in 2006 and has been on an incredible journey ever since. He

uses his recognition to spearhead events and activities that benefit the gay community, including a college speaking tour this fall, appearances at Pride ceremonies across America, and campaigns with groups including GLAAD, Campus Pride, and Freedom to Marry. Jonathan's lengthy career as a model and entertainer includes multiple Broadway national tours, regional theatre premiers throughout the US and Europe, as well as commercials and ads running worldwide.

We wish the best of luck to each of the contestants.

Vincent Leggett Age: 23 New York, NY Nashville, TN

Michael Anderson Age: 23 Arlington, VA Mandan, ND

Lester Greene Age: 32 Germany, NY

Vincent is an actor/performer, originally from Nashville, Tennessee. He currently resides in New York City. He has a Southern Baptist mother and a Father who is Muslim. He came out to his mother when he was 16 and only recently came out to his father. Vincent hopes that Mr. Gay World USA will help him explore more about himself and learn more about others and how to help people.

Michael is business oriented, but has decided to pursue a more creative career. Although his family thinks it odd, they are supportive. He came out his sophomore year in high school.

He is active in charity, and as a congressional intern he worked on many LGBT issues.

He is also passionate about women’s rights when it comes to abortion. Michael describes himself as socially democratic, fiscally conservative, and sexually liberal.

Lester is a MTA bus driver, a rapper, and an actor. He is currently in a relationship with a 63 year old man that he’s been with for 11 years. He strives to break the stereotypes surrounding gay men. He is a big supporter of the law and believes strongly in justice being served. He is liberal in his political beliefs and a Christian, but he doesn’t judge people based on their religion.

Follow: @Vincent_Leggett

Follow: @MJCAnderson

Follow: @ilikewhitemen

William Pontius Age: 31 Seattle, WA Anacortes, WA William was kicked out of high school as a boy and sent to a maximum security reform school, which he later ran away from. Since then, William has strived to be a role model for the gay community, he has raised money for various charities, including over $20,000 for HIV and gay youth. Socialite, social activist, social media pioneer - that is William Pontius. He’s everywhere, all the time. More than just a pretty face, William has helped to raise money for local charities such as Lambert House, and has used his platform as a titleholder to speak out against anti-LGBT sentiment. Most people in Seattle’s LGBT community know William Pontius in one capacity or another. In 2005, William was elected LGBT vice president for AT&T Wireless, and crowned Mr. Gay Seattle in 2007.

Follow: @PrinceWilliam32

57

Steve Eccleston Age: 20 Morgantown, WV Martinsburg, WV Steve is a student at WVU and a model at Hollister. His father is from Jamaica, he has five siblings and his mother passed away from a heart attack when Steve was in 11th grade. His father’s girlfriend told his father about him being gay, they didn’t talk for two weeks but he eventually came around, and the rest of his family accepts him. He also power tumbles, he does standing falls, double falls, and double backs. He feels that respect is very important, “you never know what people have been through in their life to make it to this day”.

Follow: @Steve_Eccleston

Troy Smith Age: 24 Pittsburgh, PA

Kevin Power Age: 22 Westchester, NY

Troy Michael Smith is an unsigned model whose platform is, “It gets better…Reaching out to the LGBT Youth”. He came out to two straight guy friends in high school who proceeded to tell the whole school. Because of this Michael contemplated suicide; he says it made him who he is today, a voice and a survivor. He is following in the footsteps of his mom, who survived a heart attack and his sister, who is a breast cancer survivor. Along with raising money and speaking out for various gay related causes he also supports breast cancer awareness.

Follow: @TroyACM

Kevin is a high school biology teacher and a sales associate at Pier 1 Imports. He comes from a loud Italian family and is the youngest of three boys.

He came out at 19 while dating his first boyfriend who was 37. His family was accepting of his being gay but taken back by his boyfriend’s age. He writes poetry and has a black belt in martial arts. Kevin has toured to schools in an effort to educate others on bullying. He spends his free time writing, working out, and hanging out with friends.

Follow: @MrPower89

Burnz Fernandez Age: 34 San Diego, CA Burnz was born in the Philippines while his US Navy father was stationed there. He currently works as a surgeon’s assistant, he also does floral and wedding design. He was called back for “The Voice” but unfortunately was unable to go, and he was also on HGTV Design Star. He comes from a very religious family, yet doesn’t really have a coming out story, his family just “knew”. Family is very important to him, especially since both his parents have passed away, his mother in late 2010, his father following in mid 2011. He is in a committed relationship and has a baby girl, Olivia.

Follow: @burnzfernandez

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Michael Lipari Age: 31 Los Angeles, CA

Carlos Rodriguez Age: 24 Jersey City, NJ

Dennis Williams Age: 25 New York, NY

Michael is an aerialist circus artist. He raises money for charity every year for his birthday. He has studied many religions and has come to the conclusion that it is not for him. He is passionate about life and wants to inspire others to be the best they can. He describes himself as passionate, energetic, and enthusiastic.

Carlos is a bartender from a large family, with four brothers and two sisters. At 18 he asked a girl to marry him, but began exploring himself during college.

Needless to say, the engagement was cancelled and two years later, he told his parents. He was raised Catholic but now follows a spiritual based belief. He is very genuine and is rarely seen without a smile.

Dennis is a performer, singer, dancer, actor, and female impersonator. He does various impersonations of RuPaul, Beyonce, Janet Jackson, Tina Turner, and NikiMinaj. He came out to his grandmother at 14 years of age. He believes everyone has something unique to bring to the table and that we can all support each other in our journey through life.

Follow: @MeInTheAir

Follow: @BeaconofLight12

Follow: @DennisWilNYC

I’wante Diamond Age: 29 Jersey City, NJ Thomasville, NC I’Wante is a comedian who grew up with sisters who are lesbians. His family is very supportive and motivates him to be all that he can be. He is passionate about suicide prevention and believes people should be judged on their character, not their sexuality.

He sees himself as a leader and is honest with his friends.

Follow: @DiWanteDiamond

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They understand that religion-based LGBTQ discrimination comes out of a history of gender bias and sexism in the church.

They invest in projects and campaigns that allow for transformative personal interactions and cross-movement alliances.

They train people of all ages, particularly youth, to organize and engage directly with conservative, politically powerful, rural and religious institutions and people.

They train advocates of all ages in nonviolent activism, which provides a framework for creative, accessible, and grassroots forms of direct action.

They do work in locations many of the larger LGBTQ organizations do not go.

In accordance with the nonviolent principles of Gandhi, they work to become compassionate, educated and just.

The site serves as a resource for people who may not know how to broach the subject of sexuality with the opportunity to learn from example.

Write a note, share a video, submit a picture or just read some of the heartfelt letters written by family members to their loved ones, showing support and appreciation for who they are!

A Little to the Left, LLC is a socially conscious, San Diego-based greeting card company started by Sandi Timberlake, the proud mother of a gay son. “My wish is to bring the gay community and the straight community into one community of people. We all have events in our lives that we want to celebrate with our friends and families, and our sexual preference should make no difference in these matters” states Sandi.

These “gay friendly – mother approved” greeting cards are unique and innovative and sell for less than $4.00 each. Considering the price of a simple “Thinking of You” card these days, that’s quite a bargain! Order online or visit their website for a list of stores that carry these ‘greetings for gays!’

i t s e b High e W li g

hts

They provide experiential learning through campaigns for leadership development.

aNoteToMyKid.com gives parents, family and friends the opportunity to express unconditional love for the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or questioning people in their lives.

www.alittletotheleft.com

What sets Soulforce apart from similar non-profit activist groups?

www.anotetomykid.com

www.soulforce.org

Soulforce is committed to relentless nonviolent resistance to bring freedom to lesbian, gay, bisexual transgender, and queer people from religious & political oppression.

They envision a world in which social justice movements are inclusive and collaborative, as they help make it possible for all people, regardless of chosen or inherent identities, to have access, opportunity and security.

Join the Journey...

Across America!

AUG 2011 Issue #4

7 Reasons LGBT FamiliesRock Canada’s New Gay Getaway

WINTER 2011 Issue #5

Glenn Packard

CHOREOGRAPHER / TV PERSONALITY / RECORDING ARTIST / ACTOR / DIRECTOR

Domestic Violence

IDOLS

The Unspoken Truth

Massachusetts

Melissa Ferrick

My Body made him gay

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NON-PROFIT/SERVICES/ ORGANIZATIONS Also Out Youth 1470 Boulevard of the Arts Sarasota, Florida 34236 941.951.2576 www.alsoyouth.org Christ Church of Peace 1240 s. Mcduff Avenue Jacksonville, Fl 32205-8030 904.387.2020 www.christchurchofpeace.org Freedom To Marry Campaign to win Marriage Equality Nationwide www.freedomtomarry.org GLAAD Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation www.glaad.org Human Rights Campaign Civil Rights for LGBT 1640 Rhode Island Avenue Washington DC, DC 20036 202.216.1500 www.hrc.org Left behind after Suicide Support Group (LBAS) 595 Montgomery Road Altamonte Springs, FL 32714 407.682.0808 Anndu2@hotmail.com NYC LGBT Chamber of Commerce Rev Carmen Hernandez www.nyclgbtcc.com Paws care, Inc. 800.304.PAWS www.pawscare.org Caring for pets with terminal illness PFLAG of Polk County P.O. Box 1739 Auburndale, FL 33823 www.pflagofpolkcounty.org Pride Community Center of North Central Florida P.O. Box 5383 Gainesville, FL 32627 352.377.8915 http://gainesvillepride.org Pridelines Youth Services 9526 NE 2 Avenue #104 Miami shores, Florida 33138 305.571.9601 www.pridelines.org Sunshine Social Services, Inc. 2312 Wilton Dr. Wilton Manors, Fl 33305 954.548.4602 info@sunserve.org

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PHOTOGRAPHERS SPCAI Advancing the safety & well-being of animals www.spcai.org The Alliance for GLBTQ Youth 1175 NE 125th Street suite 510 North Miami, FL 33161 866.634.8087 www.glbtqalliance.com The Center Orlando, FL 32803 407.228.8272 www.thecenterorlando.org GLBT community Center The Center for Positive Connections, Inc. 8315 NW 22nd Ave Miami, FL 33147 305.891.33147 www.positiveconnections.org Unity Coalition 829 9th street Miami Beach, FL 33139 786.271.6982 www.unitycoalition.org Zebra Coalition PO Box 1513 Windermere, FL 34786 877.909.3272 http://zebrayouth.org BOOKSTORES/RETAIL Giovanni’s Room 345 South 12th Street Philadelphia, PA 19107 215.923.0813 www.queerbooks.com LODGING/RESTAURANTS NYC-JC Luxury Hotel Alternative 70 Greene Street Jersey City, NJ 07302 646.662.2797 www.nyc-jc.com 13 Gypsies Restaurant 887 Stockton Street Jacksonville, Florida 32205 904.389.0330 www.13gypsies.com

Professional

Stuart Gallagher Photography 315.663.7811 sdgallagher@gmail.com www.stugallagherphotography.com Monica Everdyke Photography PO Box 388 Clay, Ny 13041 315.380.7791 www.monicaeverdykephoto.com mje@monicaeverdykephoto.com www.facebook.com/MonicaEverdykePhoto PHOTOGRAPHY FOR ALL OCCASIONS PRIDE ORGANIZATIONS For a complete list of Pride organizations in the US, click to www.connextionsmagazine.com/pride.html REAL ESTATE Realty USA Lisa SparksWatson 401 North Main Street North Syracuse, NY 13212 315.409.3020 http://LisaSparksWatson.RealtyUSA.com NAGLREP Nat’l Association of Gay & Lesbian Real Estate Professionals www.naglrep.com RETAIL Tastefully Simple by Linda Rodman 315.668.1011 linneelou@yahoo.com www.tastefullysimple.com/web/lrodman OTHER EnGAYged Weddings www.engaygedweddings.com Mr. Gay World USA www.mrgayworldusa.com

Directory

We are the voice & bridge of LGBT business in the NYC Area.

As the first gay/lesbian Chamber of Commerce in NYC, we are here to assist businesses obtain SBA Certification.

NY State Certification and loan processes.

NYC LGBT Chamber of Commerce Rev Carmen Hernandez is the CEO/Founder/Outreach/Pastor at Stratford Community Services, Inc. As an activist in the Soundview section of the Bronx for the past 25 years, Rev. Carmen Hernandez has helped empower at risk inner city kids. The Rev has proved to be a vital part of the South East Bronx community.

Contact Rev. Carmen Hernandez President/Founder (646) 401.7918 Email: nyclgbtchamber@msn.com Website: www.nyclgbtcc.com

The NYC LGBT Chamber of Commerce Inc. is a not-for profit 501 (c) (6) whose purpose is to assist and facilitate in economic development opportunities for LGBT and minority businesses.

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District of Colum bia

Featuring photos and information from every annual pride celebration in the U.S. A wonderful historical account for LGBT community members to browse and a useful tool for businesses to tap in.

Order your copy at

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36th A nnual Pr ide Cele bra

Date: June 1-12, 2011 Attendees : Vendors: 250,000 300 Special guests/En Tony Awa tertainme rd-w nt: Holliday, join inning star Jennifer ed

by DJ to the producer, stars and Ton www.capi y Moran talpride .org

Informatio n provided

www.c onnext ionsma

courtesy of: Missy S. Toms , Direc

gazine .com

tion in Washing ton

DC

Capital Prid e 2011 celeb year more rated its 36th than than 30 even 250,000 visit Wash year as the nation's Prid ington, DC ts to participat e. Each The two bigge that educate, uplift , and celeb e st events, the rate our one in more Pennsylva Capital Prid nia Avenue humanity. e Parade Street Festi Named DC's val, wrap up and the Capital Prid e the Parade, wind Best Parade three years runn final Pride weekend. s 1.5 mile ing, the Capi Circle and s through Dupont NW Wash tal Pride ington. The Pride Penn sylvania Aven Capital features 300 ue vendors, Fam Street Festival, Village, Arts ily Area, Gree Area, two n and three beve rage gardens, stage Tony Award-w s. This year's head liner was inning star who was Jennifer Holl joined by iday, DJ to the producer, stars and Tony Mor an. worldwide debut of the They made their song, "Mag ic."

tor of Deve lopment, Capit

al Pride