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march 2013



Cover: Volume 5 Issue 3 The Bike Week Issue (Put this on the cover)

PLUS: Beginning Our 5th Year, Big Changes Ahead, See What Is Coming in the Note From the Editor Bokamper’s Sports Bar & Grill Plantation, FL. The only place to be the 2nd Tuesday What’s Good in Daytona PLUS we got the OLD, the Slightly Used & the Idea Kind of New.


march 2013






8,000 MILES ON YOUR VT1300

FURY, SABRE, STATELINE, INTERSTATE Must present coupon at time of service. Call your service advisor for details and set an appointment for expedited service. Offer expires Jan 31, 2013.




GOOD ON ANY MAKE OR MODEL. CALL 1-888-802-3123 TO SCHEDULE YOUR “QUICK LANE” SERVICE APPOINTMENT, NO LINES, NO WAITING! FREE PICK-UP/DROP-OFF SERVICE ALSO AVAILABLE. Offer expires Jan 31, 2013. Pick-up/drop-off is free with paid service and must be within 15 miles of dealership to qualify. Charges incurred after 15 miles. Must present coupon at time of service, restrictions apply, please see your service advisor for details.

march 2013 centerfold cutie

m ag a z i n e

articles 16 Bike Week


Daytona Beach - What to do!

18 Old School Revived

1977 Yamaha RD400 - Betsy

20 Damn Showster

2010 Redneck - BadAss

22 Travertson

VR2 - Nothing Normal


This summer, we will be launching our mobile app. Geared to be your one stop shop to find everything motorcycle related. Stay tuned in the coming months as we move forward to future.

the usual stuff 08 Events 11 Reader’s Writes 12 Health & Wellness 13 K.C.’S Corner 15 Chef Mike Trost 33 Live To Ride, Ride To Eat 34 Uli the Unruly

49 Tech With Joel Mercado


beauties “As if you were on fire from within. The moon lives in the lining of your skin.” ~Pablo Neruda

51 Winston Law 52 Words Of Wisdom/ Ha! Ha! Ha!

Hot man Quote

53 Crazy, Bizarre/ You Ought To Know

scene around

Centerfold Cutie: Alexia Ayars • Pure Perfection

Men are all alike--except the one you’ve met who’s different – Mae West


fan of the month Bernice McBroom - aka Sister, Mom, Grandma, Granny, Grandma B, Grandma Grape BUT Mostly LOVE!

38 Flossie’s Bar & Grill

By far the HBIC’s Biggest Fan. Happy 85th Birthday! We Love you!

love in to benefit Phil Condon

39 Palm Beach International Raceway Bike Bash 2013

41 Wynwood Art District Inaugural Vintage Motorcycle Festival OSYB

44 Bikes & Beauty Anniversary Party Celebrating 4 Years!

44 Bikes & Beauties • march 2013 • 3

is hiring! Following Positions


Ft. Lauderdale/Hollywood


West Palm Beach, Naples, Orlando, Miami, Ft. Lauderdale/Hollywood

Marketing Assistant Ft. Lauderdale/Hollywood

Think you have what it takes to be part of the fastest growing magazine in Florida? Send us your resume & references to or Fax: 954-212-2609

for all your automotive needs


Motorcycle, Trailers, RV, Boats, Trucks Motorcycle & Automobile painting and body work

3383 SW 11th AVE FT Lauderdale FL 33315

954 463-7277 •



ommencing our fifth year is exciting! It is amazing to think of the possibilities. With new opportunities arising daily, at times it is difficult to sift through it all, and simply see things for what they are, make a wise informed decision, delivering us on the “right” path. Yet, regardless the challenge or outcome, our course has been plotted; the engine is barreling down the illuminated track. Getting over the new endeavor hump is not only a huge relief but, a fantastic accomplishment! The world of publishing is an ever changing game of chance, a little dance with fate while we hope for luck and stellar technology. Every day the numbers shift in favor of the digital era, opening doors and windows to the grand scale of mobility. In an effort to keep up with the Jones’s, we have spent the last three months testing the market, researching habits and compiling more techie data than this little lady ever cares to see again. Sitting to review the findings was somewhat bittersweet. Although excited to see the concrete foundation our publication has created, we are faced with a dilemma. Do we continue to kill trees, burn energy, gas and resources? Or, do we move into the wireless, digital, socially based, technology fueled generation? With over 1 Billion smartphone users today, we think our efforts will be better suited for instant access. This summer, we will be launching our mobile app. Geared to be your one stop shop to find everything motorcycle related. Industry News, National Events, Rides, Art, Gear, Discounts, Where to stay, What to do, Smoking Hot Models, Charities, Music & Fantastic Motorcycles. Stay tuned in the coming months as we move forward to the next chapter. If you have any questions, comments or concerns, please contact me at Stay Between the Ditches & Keep the Shiny Side Up!

m ag a z i n e

Find us on facebook and follow us on Twitter

Creator/Editor/Events Coordinator/Casting Director: Christy Vittitow General Email: Office Manager: Accounting: Art Dept: Sales: Talent: HR: Editor: Christy Vittitow Investor: Ken Synfelt Publisher: Christy Vittitow Photography: Ken Synfelt, James Balboni, Christy Vittitow, Mike Trost, Reid Bankley, Laurie Hirst, Mike Mann, Beau Vittitow Writers: Christy Vittitow, Hog Dog, Uli the Unruly

Contributors:  Mike Trost, Kickstart KC, Uli the Unruly,Kelly Levesque, Christy Vittitow, Jeffrey Hoenig, Capt. Mike Mann, Joel Mercado, Bradley Winston Distribution: Bikes & Beauties Magazine, LLC Sales: Christy Vittitow 954-789-6986, National Director of Business Development: G. Brent Brown 407-212-6642 Promotions: christy vittitow 954-789-6986 Production Assistant: Melissa King, Andrea Dirienzio, Beau Vittitow, Courtney Paige Office Manager: christy vittitow Printing: Super color Distribution: National Dynamics, LLC Art Director: michelangelo

Bikes & Beauties Magazine TM 2012 is published monthly and NO reproduction of content is permitted without publisher’s written consent. Publisher is not liable for errors in advertising but a correction will be printed. Publisher is not liable for: slandering of any individual, comments, opinions, promises, coupons or lack of fulfillment of any of their columnists or advertisers.We do not promote excessive consumption of alcoholic beverages. Please drink responsibly. Bikes & Beauties Magazine logo is owned solely and nationally by Christy Vittotow. O f f i c e s N O T O P E N to t h e P U B L IC . P l e a s e c a ll to m a k e a n a ppo i nt m e nt .

ArtCrazy Photography www. All model images in this months issue of Bikes & Beauties Magazine were captured by: ArtCrazy Photography Bikes & Beauties • march 2013 • 5

march 2013

bike nights SUNDAYS

South Florida Chopper Bikes @Brass Ring. Starts At 6:30 10998 Okeechobee Blvd., Royal Palm Beach, Fl. (561) 296-4563 Flossie’s 3-7. Live Music. 3985 Ravenswood Rd., Dania Bch, Fl. (954) 583-9656 Www.Flossiesbar.Com Café 27 Bbq Noon-7Pm. Bucket Specials! Live Bands! Us27, Right Off Griffin Rd. Across From Everglades Holiday Park Cagney’s Saloon 5983 S University Dr., Davie, Fl. (954) 689-0035 Whiskey Joe’s Bar and Grill 5-10pm 3301 Rickenbacker Causeway, Miami, FL 3314t


Cruisers For Christ Bike Night 7Pm Lefty’s Bar And Grill. 5771 Coral Ridge Dr., Coral Springs Fl. (954) 752-3525


Bonefish Mac’s Sports Grille Bike Night 7Pm 2002 E. Sample Rd., Lighthouse Point, Fl.(954) 781-6227 Tarpon Bend Bike Night 7-12 Live Music. 200 S.W. 2Nd St. Ft. Lauderdale The Motoport Bike Night At Hooters Doral 8695 N.W. 13Th Terrace, Miami, Fl. 33126 (305) 297-4827 For More Info. Http://Www.Motoportusa.Com




RoaR on the ShoRe Saturday March 9th 3 – 7pm at the sandbar 900 sunrise lane, ft. Lauderdale beach Live music featuring the funky blu roots $30 donation includes unlimited Buffet & premium draft beers Proceeds to benefit the 9463 foundation for Florida’s fallen officers 50/50 – raffles – trophies & more!!!

Support your local green & white crew!!!

Hooters 550 Town Center Cir. Sanford, Fl. (407) 324-1272. Sponsered By: Budweiser, Seminole Hr, Harsh Clothing. 15% Off Food And Merchandise W/ Motorcycle Key. Frequent Riders Cards Available. Hooters Doral 7-11pm 8695 Northwest 13th Terr. Miami, FL 33126 The Keg South Kendall 7-11pm SW 128 St East of 137 Ave. Near the Tamiami airport.

Every First Tuesday of the Month:

Iron Eagle Bike Night West Palm Beach, FL 2348 N Military Trail, 1/8 Mile North of Okeechobee Blvd. 6:00 to 9:30 pm

Every second Tuesday of the Month:

Boonies Bike Nite 6-11pm 14555 Southern Blvd. Loxahatchee, FL 561-753-9991 Bokampers Metal Showcase Bike Night & Car Show Plantation, FL • (954) 533-7152 7-10 pm


Flossie’s Bar & Grille 3985 Ravenswood Rd., Rd. Dania, Fl. (954) 583-9656 Www.Flossiesbar.Com Crossroads Bar & Grill 2801 E New York Ave. Deland, Fl.32724 (386) 738-0301 Hooters Pembroke Pines Bike Night Bike Parking, Drink Specials, Other Specials. 7990 Pines Blvd. Pembroke Pines, Fl. 33024. (954) 962-6330 Chit Chats 826 North Federal Hwy Pompano Beach, Fl. 33062 (954) 943-1631 Mickey’s Bar 350 S.W. 12Th Ave. Pompano Beach, Fl. 33069 (954) 941-1611 Carolina Ale House 8669 NW 36 St. Doral, FL 33166 New Bike Night to Downtown Hollywood. Various locations on Hollywood Blvd. from 19th to 20th

Every second wednesday of the Month:

Treasure Coast Harley Davidson 4967 SE Federal Highway (US 1), Stuart, FL


Cafe 27 Highway 27 & Griffin Road. Bike Night & Hot Body Contest. Packy’s Sports Grill 11379 W. Palmetto Park Rd. Boca Raton, Fl. 33428. Starting Nov. 4Th-7Pm. Prize For Best Bike. The Playhouse Gentlemens Club Free Vip Parking And No Cover Kings Head Pub 5Pm Till Close. 500 East Dania Beach Blvd, Dania, Fl. Bikers 20% Off Check, Live Music. Jesse’s Sports Bar 5442 W. Atlantic Blvd.Margate Fl. Bayside Hut 3501 Rickenbacker Causeway, Miami, FL 33149 Will Call 700 NE 2nd Avenue, Miami, FL 33132 Finnegan’s on the River (2nd and 4th Thursday) 401 Southwest 3rd Ave. Miami, FL · 33130


8 • Bikes & Beauties • march 2013

march 2013 Mar 9 Every First Thursday of the Month:

Hogs 4 Heroes Daytona Ride - Daytona Beach FL (888) 791-5510 • Deland Bike Rally 8th Annual - Deland FL

Zo’s Off The Hook Rossmeyer Ft.Lauderdale H-D Bike Night 2861 East Commercial Blvd, Ft. Lauderdale, Fl. ( .5 Mi East Of Us1) Sandbar 900 Sunrise Lane, Ft. Lauderdale Fl. 33304 (954) 990-7578 Sponsored By Ft. Lauderdale H-D Food Truck Invasion Weekly Wheels And Meals Tropical Park 7900 S.W. 40Th St. Miami, Fl. 33131(Palmetto & Bird Rd) Lucky’s Bar & Grill Bike Night 10160 W. Indiantown Rd., Jupiter, FL 33478 561-743-3300

Bokampers Metal Showcase Bike Night & Car Show Plantation, FL (954) 533-7152 • 2nd Tuesday of every month 7-10 pm

Every third Thursday of the Month:

Mar 12 - Mar 13

Bike & Cruise Night @ The Seminole Hard Rock 5:30 to 10:30 954-789-6986

Every last Thursday of the Month:

Cycle Gear Bike Night - 846 N Military Trail, West Palm Beach, FL 33415 6:00 to 10:00 pm Turboz Custom Cycles Bike Night Ralph’s Stand Up Bar 113 Center Street, Jupiter, FL 7:00 to 10:00 pm


Everglades Holiday Park Bike Night West End Of Griffin Rd., At Us27 Sunrise Harley-Davidson Bike Night 201 N. International Parkway Sunrise, Fl. 33325 Www.Brucerossmeyerh-D.Com


Pirate Republic Bar Sponsored By Bruce Rossmeyer H-D, The Party Starts At 7Pm Every Saturday Night. 400 S.W. 3Rd Ave. Ft. Lauderdale Fl. 33315 (954) 761-3500 Eagle Rider Fort Lauderdale, Bikes & Coffee 10:00 Am

march Mar 8

AHRMA Cross Country Racing - Gainesville Alachua FL (615) 420-64t35

Mar 8 - Mar 17

Bike Week Daytona Beach FL Daytona 200 Week - Daytona Bike Week Daytona Beach FL (386) 254-2700 • Victory Custom Bike Show 4th Annual • New Smyrna Beach FL (386) 428-2212 •

Mar 8 - Mar 9

International Vintage Motorcycle Swap Meet & Bike Show Eustis FL (904) 626-0664

Mar 9

Shamrocks MC Annual Roar on the Shore • Fort Lauderdale, FL See ad this page Honda Daytona Supercross - Daytona Bike Week • Daytona Beach FL (386) 254-2700

Mar 10

American Legion Riders Stars & Stripes Annual Poker Run Cooper City FL • (910) 512-4669

Mar 12

NEW! Engine Build-off Competition • Daytona Beach FL (888) 597-5767

Mar 13

Chop In Block/Cycle Source Ride • Daytona Beach FL (386) 673-1040 • Harley Davidson Ride In Custom Bike Show • Daytona Beach FL (414) 343-4056 • Side Car and Trike Show - Daytona Bike Week • Deland FL (386) 801-1810 •

Mar 14

26th Daytona Antique and Classic Motorcycle Auction & Meet Daytona Beach FL • (352) 795-8895 • Old School Chopper Show - Daytona B • Deland FL (386) 801-1810 •

Mar 15

Biker Fusion VIP/Charity Event at The Dog House • Daytona Beach FL 7:00pm • 601 Main Street Cycle Source Party - Daytona Bike Week • Daytona Beach FL (386) 673-1040 •

Mar 15 - Mar 17

34th Annual Elvis Presley Charity Festival Car & Motorcycle Show Kissimmee FL • (407) 962-0263 •

Mar 24

Smiles Charity Ride 6th Annual • Fort Lauderdale FL See Ad This Page

want to promote your event?

Send an email by the

18th of the month to Title the Subject, Event Listing or

call 954-789-6986

Bikes & Beauties • march 2013 • 9


PEDALS UP AT 7:30AM Benefiting 50 MILE BICYCLE RIDE 18-22 mph

Includes: SAG Support, Route Map, Rest Stop, EMT, Food and Entertainment after the ride!*

Registration opens at 6:30am • Mardi Gras Casino

831 North Federal Highway, Hallandale Beach, FL 33009 Ride from the Mardi Gras Casino to Chris Evert Hospital and back! Enjoy the Opening Ceremonies at the Chris Evert Hospital. Members May Redeem a Voucher Register at $20 zMotion *After the ride enjoy: • 20+ GTE Food Trucks • 4 Live bands • Two cars shows • Three Motorcycle Drill teams • Motorcycle stunt show • Over 75 vendors • Door prizes and Raffle Prizes

bikes& ies beautbag mail

Reader’s Writes

Send Us Your Stories!

Bikes&Beauties Magazine, L.L.C. • P.O. Box 813269, Hollywood, FL 33081-3269 • E-mail:

Rawhyde Adventure: On the Origin of the Species

till dinner. We stop at a little sandwich store and get what is suggest to be the best thing they sell - a pastrami sub with mustard and salad (make that cucumbers and salsa). Hunger may be the best sauce, but I found it delicious!

by: Anonymous

Last Summer I got an e-mail about an upcoming presentation at the Cross Country dealership about riding “beyond where the pavement ends.” Ok I thought, sounds interesting, what harm could come from sitting through a presentation? So that evening, my wife, Ival, and I show up. The enthusiastic speaker showed slides of desert and mountain scenery accessible by paved roads. Then he showed slides of what you can see by riding a few miles past the end of the pavement. WOW! The idea , the speaker said , was to get the skills to ride off road , get a peer group to ride with, and go see what lurks beyond the edge of the asphalt! Ival said, “You’re going to go to that?” as she shoved my eyeballs gently into their sockets. Now I have been off road before(yes, on purpose), mostly in Ohio where I picked up a 200cc dual sport to ride the back way to my daughter’s house and to explore local roads without dread if I should run out of pavement. I even took the MSF beginner dirt course. It was mostly similar to the street course but you learn to stand while riding and counterbalance, not countersteer, to turn(you remember from the MSF u turn in the box exercise). But these guys were showing big touring bikes going where only mules had gone before! With my survival instincts, common sense and sales resistance depleted, I signed up for the “Introduction To Adventure” and the overnight camping trip that immediately followed to “Base Camp Alpha” so I could utilize the newly learned skills in the “real world.” Did I mention the event was scheduled for January? Hey - it’s in sunny California, probably just need my mesh jacket! The people at Rawhyde were very helpful and suggested I could send my riding gear out ahead by Fed EX (not UPS they insisted, but more on that later). I checked the weather online and it looked like mostly 40s through 60s with an overnight in the low 30s on Monday (the night in the desert at base camp. I thought better about the mesh gear and took a bunch of liners and my winter textile jacket, my off road boots, my off road helmet and goggles, and turtle furs and “joan of arc” balaclava. E-mails began flying between the participants and with the help of the Rawhyde staff, we arranged to share the van ride to the camp. I arrived at LAX 3 hours later than local time since my body was still on EST. A few texts and cell calls later we are all in the van and on the way. Some like me are taking the intro course but some others are taking an even more advanced course “The Next Step” and going for a longer expedition. Everyone is excited and friendly and we persuade the driver to stop some place to get a bite to eat to hold us

THE LONG AND WINDING ROAD A short ride later we arrive at the foot of the most intimidating driveway (and I am being very generous to call it a driveway) made of potholed, broken, non-connected, off cambered strips of asphalt interspersed with dirt , mud, gravel and who knows how deep potholes. It literally snakes up the hill with signs pointing out the “cliff” at the edge of one switchback. Perhaps the sign points to where Cliff was last sighted before going down the ravine! (It turned out UPS doesn’t attempt the driveway, they chicken out at the ranger station next door, hence the admonition to use FED EX!) HOME, HOME ON THE RANGE We arrive at the headquarters, sign in at the “office” - a double wide trailer with a couple of bathrooms and bedrooms for two lucky employees. I get a prime assignment in the “bunkhouse.” Others get assigned to trailers and tents, or some mutant monstrous hybrid of both!

(Continued on Page 25) Bikes & Beauties • march 2013 • 11

HEALTH & WELLNESS the final countdown

getting bikini ready in just 3 weeks


pring is almost here, thank goodness! You know you are ready for a break. You’re probably headed to the beach, or at least someplace with a pool and Jacuzzi, for a week of total hedonism. Your transportation has been arranged for months, you know exactly where you’ll he staying and you’ve even located the hottest nightspots in the area. The only thing you forgot to do is get into peak shape! With three weeks till you depart, you’re in a chaotic panic as you realize you aren’t the same person you were last year.

Winter’s cold, dreary days may have even packed a few unwanted pounds onto your formerly taut physic. Desperate, you make a pact with yourself, refusing to eat until you fit into your favorite jeans. After a day of drinking only a few bucketfuls of water and half a dozen cans of diet soda, you give up, exhausted, hungry and frustrated. Well, don’t throw in the towel yet if you aren’t exactly in perfect condition, we have a few pound shedding tips to get your body bikini ready!

1) Start a simple diet. The key word here is simple, with an emphasis on balanced. You can easily shed a couple of pounds a week simply by cleaning up your eating habits. Stop eating the crap! Nothing processed, no oils, no sugar, no white or wheat flour products, no corn or corn products, eat lean meats and lots of fruits and vegetables.

4) Drink lots of water. Water is nature’s diuretic. Increasing your water consumption to 2 gallons a day can help you shed a few extra pounds of unwanted water over this 21-day period. If you dislike plain water, add a slice of lemon or mix in your favorite flavor of Crystal Lite.

2) Exercise moderately. Take the smart approach and spend exactly one hour a day in the gym. Split the time evenly between 30 minutes of weight training and 30 minutes of aerobic exercise. This could burn off another 3 pounds of fat in the coming three weeks. 3) Tan. People who love to tan believe it makes them look better, and in a lot of cases it does If you choose your local “electric beach,” three weeks is plenty of time to get a very solid base. Having a base tan can also minimize your potential to get sunburned when you’re outdoors on vacation. A reminder about sunscreen: Use it. If you bake yourself to a crisp the first day of spring break and end up covered head-to-toe with Noxzema and watching soaps in your hotel room for the next six days, that’s one thing. If you wind up getting skin cancer, that’s a whole different ball game and yes, young people get it, too. Choose a sun screen with a sun protection factor (SPF) of 15 or higher. 12 • Bikes & Beauties • march 2013

5) Shave. Have you ever noticed that runway and print models, both men and women, are devoid of body hair? Shaving away any body hair that may normally be exposed when you wear a bathing suit can make your body look sharper and leaner. Imagine a bodybuilder like Shawn Ray with a thick mat of hair on his chest he might still look muscular, but much of the detail would be obscured. 6) Buy the right bathing suit. Men have it easy: Oversized swim trunks that extend to the knee are popular, and loosefitting, surfer-style corduroy shuns and a tank top are appropriate beach apparel and offer effective camouflage for the muscularly impaired. For women, this issue is a bit more complicated. Bikinis reveal more of your physique than onepiece suits, so if you have something to hide, you may not want to be stingy with the material. Bikinis with wide straps instead of strings will probably be most flattering for women who are concerned that they’ve “missed their peak.” 7) Get a haircut. Politicians have the most perfect hair on earth, and these men and women obviously understand the importance of appearance. A fresh haircut conveys the message that you’re neat, clean and concerned with your health. A new haircut might not get you elected class president, but it may improve the look of your student body. 8) New clothes. Professional makeover artists could make a downright chunky individual appear lean with a change of wardrobe. New jeans, T-shirts, a skirt or shirt can make you feel better about yourself, and that’s half the battle in looking simply irresistible as you head off into that perfect spring-break sunset.

kc's corner table


“Les and Helga”

o the test ride on my 65 Lightning was done and over with, an agreement had been reached, so now my task was to find the guy that owned the 1966 H-D Electra-Glide. I didn’t know who the guy was, or what he looked like, so I didn’t know where to begin, other than to just start asking around. My first thought was that maybe I should just hang around the Electra-Glide, hoping the owner might stroll by to see if anyone was looking at the bike. I sent Susie to get another couple cold ones, then noticed the bike right next to the 1966 Electra-Glide was a beautifully restored red Indian Chief. I wasn’t sure of the model year, but I guessed it was from sometime in the late 30s to late 40s. I just had to check it out. This Indian looked like it just came out of the showroom, with the graceful valanced fenders, gorgeous black leather seat, and springer front fork. The little tiny distributor with just a coil wire and two plug wires was the cutest thing I ever saw on a motorcycle. There sure wasn’t much chrome, but what there was had a beautiful finish. I wanted to sit on the bike just to get a feel for it, but there was no way I was going to do that. Susie returned with two cold beers, but still no one had shown up. I asked her to just hang by the Electra-Glide in case someone came by, and I would go find some Dawn Patrol members who might know the owner of the ElectraGlide. Just as I got halfway back to where the crowds were I heard Susie screaming my name, so I turned around and headed back to where she was. As I approached, I saw what appeared to be a late 40s-early 50s couple standing next to the Electra-Glide. (When you’re 21 years old, anyone over 40 is ancient) Susie yelled out “They own the Harley!”. Finally! What a relief! The guy put out his hand to shake and said “Hi, my name is Les, and this is my wife Helga.” Les was about 6’ tall, maybe 200 lbs. and Helga was Susie’s height, 5’ 9”, and about the same weight, 135 lbs. so she was no shrimp. The four of us yakked about the poker run, what a nice turn out it was for the very first RRR MC event, the summer heat, the recent first manned moon landing, then got to talking bikes. Les asked what we were riding, so I pointed to my 65 BSA Lightning, he mentioned how nice it looked, then, not being able to hold back any longer, I asked him about the 1966 Electra-Glide. “So Les, how much are you asking for the Electra-Glide?” I inquired. “Don’t ask me” he replied, “Ask Helga. It’s her bike.” “Holy crap!!!” I thought to myself. That middle aged lady is riding that huge 1966 Full Dress Harley-Davidson ElectraGlide? All by herself? Who would have thunk it!! Helga had this huge smile on her face, and laughingly said “Why do you look so shocked there young man?”

I had read a few articles in Cycle Magazine about the Motor Maids of America, an all female club started in 1940 by Linda Dugeau and Dot Robinson. Linda taught herself to ride in 1932, then in 1938 with Dot Robinson, started contacting motorcycle dealers, and riding all over the United States in search of other female riders. Women riding motorcycles at that time were so rare that it took the two of them 3 years to find 51 women riders who became the original charter members of Motor Maids of America, still in existence today, under the banner Motor Maids Inc. But now, I was meeting my very first women rider, in person! Before I could come up with any kind of answer, Helga again laughed and said “Don’t worry about it, that’s the reaction I get from all the guys!” Susie then injected a statement that had trouble written all over it. “Why can’t I ride my own bike too, like Helga?” Another one of those “Oh Shit” moments. Les came to my rescue by suggesting that we all go get another cold one, then come back and talk about bikes. Which is exactly what we did. Once back, I asked Les what he was riding, and he just pointed to the Indian Chief that I had been admiring. Les was just one of those guys that I could listen to all day without getting the least bit bored. He was just that interesting. He explained to me that he was a tool and die maker who owned his own machine shop, and Helga was the secretary/accountant/chief cook and bottle washer for their business. His hobby was restoring old Indians. Being a machinist, if there were any parts he needed that he couldn’t find for a reasonable price, he would just make them. At this time, he had a total of 8 Indians, with this 1947 Chief being the only one completely restored. He was also working on a 1940 4 cylinder Indian and a `1937 Chief. The others would have to wait their turn. I was just so enthralled with the knowledge that Les had regarding these old Indians, and he could see it. He even let me sit on the gorgeous red Chief so Susie could take a picture. He gave me his business card and invited us over to see his shop, where he said he would teach me how to ride an Indian, but one of the unrestored ones, that still ran. Just “in case” as he put it. “Oh Les, before I forget, the reason we were hanging out here in the first place is because I want to know what you and Helga are asking for the 1966 Electra-Glide?” I inquired. “$1500.00” returned Les. My second “Oh shit” moment in less than an hour.

Ride Safe, KC

Bikes & Beauties • march 2013 • 13

APP Coming Soon!

Advertising Opportunities Available Contact Us Today! (954) 789-6986


march madness

March madness in New York waiting for the warm weather to arrive. This month I’ve got tomato based recipes on the brain. Weather fresh or canned everyone loves tomato’s. My tomato and black olive salad and Stuffed Cabbage Rolls are both easy to prepare and a sure winner for dinner for all to enjoy! – Enjoy! Chef Mike

Sliced Tomato and Black Olive Salad • 4 servings Ingredients • 3 large vine-ripened tomatoes, each cut into slices • 1 teaspoon salt • 1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper • 3 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil • 2 tablespoons shredded parmigiano reggiano cheese • 10 black olives cut in half • 1 teaspoon oregano

Ingredients • 2 tablespoons good olive oil • 3/4 cups chopped yellow onions (2 onions) • 1 (28-ounce) can crushed tomatoes and their juice • 2 tablespoons cup red wine vinegar • 1/4 cup light brown sugar, lightly packed • 1/4 cup raisins • 1 teaspoons kosher salt • 1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper • 1 large green cabbage For the filling: • 1 1/4 pounds ground chuck • 2 extra-large eggs, lightly beaten • 1/4 cup finely chopped yellow onions • 1/4 cup plain dried breadcrumbs • 1/4 cup uncooked white rice • 1 teaspoon minced fresh thyme leaves • 1 teaspoons kosher salt • 1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper


1. Place the tomatoes on a large plate and season on both sides with the salt and pepper. 2. Dirzzle with olive oil ,sprinkle oregano over tomato’s, then the parmigiano cheese on top, then the olives and serve immediately.

Stuffed Cabbage • 4 Servings Directions

1. For the sauce, heat the olive oil in a large saucepan, add the onions, and cook over medium-low heat for 6 minutes, until the onions are translucent. Add the tomatoes, vinegar, brown sugar, raisins, salt, and pepper. Bring to a boil, then lower the heat and simmer uncovered for 25 minutes, stirring occasionally 2. Remove the entire core of the cabbage with a paring knife. Immerse the head of cabbage in boiling water for a few minutes, peeling off each leaf as soon as it s flexible. Set the leaves aside, you will need at least 8 leaves. 3. For the filling, in a large bowl, combine the ground chuck, eggs, onion, breadcrumbs, rice, thyme, salt, and pepper. Add 1/2 cup of the sauce to the meat mixture and mix. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. 4. To assemble, place 1 cup of the sauce in the bottom of a large Dutch oven. Remove the hard triangular rib from the base of each cabbage leaf with a small paring knife. Place 1/2 cup of filling in each leaf and roll up toward the outer edge, tucking the sides in as you roll. Place the cabbage rolls, seam sides down, over the sauce. Once you have placed all the cabbage rolls in the pot. Pour the remaining sauce over the cabbage rolls. Cover the dish tightly with the lid and bake for 1 hour or until the meat is cooked and the rice is tender. Serve hot.

Bikes & Beauties • march 2013 • 15

bike week - daytona beach 2013

Thousands of Motorcycles

set to Invade Florida B

ike Week - Daytona Beach 2013 is here, get the oil changed, check the tires, grab your leather and ramble over to this 72nd Annual Event that has grown to cover all of Volusia County and the surrounding areas. Daytona Beach is the nucleus for all that is Bike Week. 500,000 people from all walks of life are expected to participate in the annual 10-day event that kicks off March 8th and ends March 17th which includes festivals, motorcycle racing, live music, street festival, charitable rides, nights of mayhem and about a hundred other motorcycle themes reasons to come and party. There are also several events in DeLand and Sanford, so no matter where you are, you can participate in this one-of-akind annual celebration of all that is bikes, leather, rambling engines and motorcycle mayhem! Our Favorite Part of Bike Week Daytona Beach is RIDING THE LOOP It’s like no other ride. It’s freedom, sunshine, open road and graceful curves. It’s called the Loop and for motorcycle enthusiasts everywhere, it’s a riders dream. The Loop begins with a northerly trek at the foot of the Granada Bridge on John Anderson Drive in Ormond Beach. Going North, riders are greeted by a cathedral of trees up to the Highbridge Road where they hang a left (to go west) and go over the bridge and the Intracoastal Waterway (the Halifax River). There are several places to stop along the way and just enjoy the Florida countryside. After more winding turns, 16 • Bikes & Beauties • march 2013

you’ll come upon Walter Boardman road where you will make another turn that takes you further west to Old Dixie Highway. When you reach Old Dixie Highway, take another left (to go south) toward Ormond Beach. If you haven’t ever taken the Loop, we recommend it highly. This leisurely ride will give you a feel for Florida’s natural beauty. Check out Ormond Park and the Fairchild Oak tree - one of Florida’s oldest living Oaks. Bring your camera, maybe a boxed lunch, and enjoy. The Loop is approximately 22 miles long and a must for riders who enjoy an open road and Florida’s natural beauty. How to Ride the Loop The Loop begins with a northerly trek at the foot of the Granada Bridge on John Anderson Drive in Ormond Beach. Going North, riders are greeted by a cathedral of trees up to the Highbridge Road where they hang a left (to go west) and go over the bridge and the Intercostals Waterway (the Halifax River). There are several places to stop along the way and just enjoy the Florida countryside. After more winding turns, you’ll come upon Walter Boardman road where you will make a left to take you further west to Old Dixie Highway. When you reach Old Dixie Highway, take another left (to go south) toward Ormond Beach and your starting point at the Granada Bridge ... a perfect 22 mile loop!

There are several things we believe every visitor must see or do, during the week long rally. 1. RIDE THE LOOP - Any day, Any Time 2. Tropical Willie’s Old Skool Chopper Show See Ad Page 24 3. Cabbage Patch Cole Slaw Wrestling Wed. March 13th & Sat. March 16th - Noon 4. Budweiser Clydesdale Parade - Held Daily on Main Street March 8th-17th (386) 255-0981 5. Visit the Ponce Inlet Lighthouse 4931 S Peninsula Dr Ponce Inlet, FL 32127 (386) 761-1821 6. 6th Annual Women’s Day Ride March 12, 2013 8:00 am Registration at Destination Daytona (386) 671-7103 7. Boardwalk Classic Ride In Show March 15th - Registration 8:00 - 11:00 am (386) 871-0398 8. Go Get A Signed Copy of Bean’re Motorcycle Nomad - K & G Cycles March 11th & 12th - 10:00 am to 3:00 pm 9. See the Band Full Circle - Dirty Harry’s on Main Street, Fri. 8th, Sun 10th, Thur 14th, Sat 16th 10: Ride Your Motorcycle on the Beach Any Day Any Time, Remember to take a pictture

Bikes & Beauties • march 2013 • 17

betsy Model: Yamaha RD 400 C Year: 1977 Category: Classic Rating: 78.2 out of 100 Engine and transmission Displacement: N399.00 ccm (24.35 cubic inches) Engine type: Twin, two-stroke Power: 43.00 HP (31.4 kW)) @ 7100 RPM Top speed: 171.0 km/h (106.3 mph) Compression: 6.2:1 Bore x stroke: 64.0 x 62.0 mm (2.5 x 2.4 inches) Fuel control: Membrane Cooling system: Air Gearbox: 6-speed Transmission type,final drive: Chain Chassis, suspension, brakes and wheels Front tyre dimensions: 3.00-18 Rear tyre dimensions: 3.50-18 Front brakes: Single disc Rear brakes: Single disc Physical measures and capacities Weight incl. oil, gas, etc: 177.0 kg (390.2 pounds) Fuel capacity: 16.50 litres (4.36 gallons) Build Time: “Hard to say, On & Off. I get to it when I can.” “Shoemaker never has any shoes.” Engine: 3 Over, Reeds, Ported Exhaust: DG Custom Tail LIight” C3PO Front Suspension: Tape around the dust boots Front Wheel: Put air in it. Seat: Custom, Started with a flat piece of metal Handlebars: Clubman Mirrors: Compact Grips: Oury Paint: Removed from tank Extras or Unique Features: ALL, tail, stripped tank, side cover, oil tank cover Story behind the build: I was at Metal 305 swap meet and saw her in disarray and had to rescue her from the looms of the ghetto. What sparked the idea: Necessity to make an RD look different then everyone else’s out there. Price: NFS

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badass Year: 2010 Make: Redneck Build Time: 11 Mo Engine Type: S&S Power: Wonder Twins Transmission: 6 Speed Clutch: Noisy Exhaust: Grumpy’s Keeps Right Foot Hot Front Suspension: Custom Springer Front Wheel: Fat Spoke Radial Diamond Cut Front Brake: Hawg Halters Rear Suspension: Use Kidney Belt (Rigid) Rear Wheel: Fatty Spoked Radial Diamond Cut Rear Brake: Hawg Halters Fuel Tank Capacity: Not Much May Need to Push Seat: Custom Need More Cushion Handlebars: Longer Arms Needed Mirrors: Ness Grips: Ness Paint: Red Hot 2 Tone Flame Why did you build it? Wanted a 1 Off type of bike (bar hopper) Not the type of guy to be a sheep, and have the same as everyone else. Price? More than others, Less than some, Not Cheap!

Bikes & Beauties • march 2013 • 21



ravertson is developing a new beast, currently in research & development. The Travertson Motorcycles which are designed, created and assembled in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, are sold primarily to a network of HarleyDavidson® Dealerships as well as renown custom motorcycle shops throughout the United States and the world. We utilize genuine Harley-Davidson® parts including the VROD motor, the speedometer, the transmission, and wiring harness as well as the controls. Travertson envisions designing and creating a new “MIND BLOWING MOTORCYCLE “ every year. Because each motorcycle has its own identity, they are in a class of their own. Travertson builds each part from scratch with passion and precision. The TRAVERTSON MISSION is to develop innovative and durable solutions on a timely basis in accordance with client’s needs and production capabilities at a price that reflects the value of short development time solutions. Travertson Inc. is a dynamic, growing company, focused on the development of new technologies that span a diverse set of applications. Our team is comprised of engineering, manufacturing and quality professionals dedicated to creating innovative solutions for the modern marketplace. The people at Travertson focus on the complete product development process, from proof of concept to low volume manufacturing runs. While designing advanced products which are easier to use, more affordable, and more functional than the products they are replacing. Travertson provides contract research & development, testing, technical marketing and consulting services to companies worldwide. Combining in-house R&D resources and affiliations with industry experts, Travertson, Inc. is ideally suited to complement our customer’s needs. The company was founded and currently managed by Christian Travert who has been involved with the motorcycle and the engineering industry for over 20 years, focused primarily on new product development. His experience, creativity, and insight into a wide range of materials, structural applications and product development processes has been instrumental in producing cost-effective and proprietary solutions tailored to meet each client’s need. Travertson values resourcefulness and timely innovation. Delivering not only fast results to client’s problems but durable solutions and know-how. Solutions that when implemented can yield major cost-savings and improved product differentiation. Today, the engineers, technicians, and machinists work in a state of the art facility featuring multi axis CNC mills, lathes, CNC plasma cutting and multiple fabrication stations. The engineers and designers work with the latest CAD software featuring finite element analysis, product rendering capability and laser scanning equipment. 22 • Bikes & Beauties • march 2013

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The Travertson facility has been designed to promote constant interaction between and within the engineering and manufacturing groups. The on-site machine shop and molding facility are central to the success of our projects; ideas are prototyped and tested in record time making us sought after by major companies for their solutions. Travertson is a company where the questioning of conventional thinking is encouraged and practiced by everyone -engineers and non-engineers alike -because open minds are more likely to arrive at workable solutions. This has been our formula for success since we began, and it will continue to drive our success in the future. Travertson welcomes your projects and questions - please contact us at 954-763-2283 or nicole at

m ag a z i n e

Alexia Ayars

Ft. Lauderdale, FL

russGevents Classic Cars


creator of all Bikes & Beauties Magazine Trophies

bikes& ies beautbag mail

Reader’s Writes

Send Us Your Stories!

Bikes&Beauties Magazine, L.L.C. • P.O. Box 813269, Hollywood, FL 33081-3269 • E-mail: (Continued from Page 11)

HEY GANG, THIS IS SUMMER CAMP The bunkhouse has a concrete slab floor, real walls and windows but a tent for a roof. Showers are outdoors with a great view (no not of each other, of the mountains!) Well maybe of each other but I kept my eyes front!

IT WAS EVENING AND IT WAS MORNING - THE FIRST DAY Pretty soon it was happy hour and time to introduce ourselves to the group and meet the instructors and staff. Dinner followed, prepared by a great chef. They easily accommodated my kosher style and low carb diet as well as someone’s vegetarian preferences. (Something F troop, my Gold Wing chapter, could get their teeth into!) Then off to music around the campfire and turn in at 1 AM EST (10 PM PST).

Next morning breakfast and shmoozing. That’s me with Dave from Vancouver. (He has same name as the son of one of Ival’s friends from Maine. When we visited them and their two kids at their cozy place in Maine, they put us up in a horse trailer, allegedly because we are Yankee fans and they root for the Red Sox. This Dave on this trip got to sleep in the storage trailer. Talk about instant karma!) We got assigned our rental bikes (mine was a GS1200 Adventure) and listened to the lecture/demonstration on riding and in no time they had us mount up and head down the so called driveway standing on the pegs. With no real previous experience on such a non-road and the first time on an unfamiliar bike that seemed SO HUGE, it was some kind of miracle we all made it down and paddled through a u-turn on the street, then, you guessed it, a return trip up the driveway! Oh and down and up again moving around on the bike swinging a leg over one side or the other standing on one peg. The rest of the training exercises were all blurred in my mind - down the driveway again and then down to the dirt approach road to something for rear wheel skidding practice, walking the bike up the hill in first gear, front brake almost lockup the wheel, panic stop on dirt practice and the like. (One of us fell over and rolled around in obvious pain. Eventually the word got back that he was not seriously hurt having only “crushed his rocks” and that continued as a good natured ribbing the rest of the weekend.) Did I mention that all of us fell over more times than I can count? If you touch the front brake on a slippery surface, the wheel locks and flips you to the ground instantly. I think I had the dishonor of being the first to fall but it was of no lasting shame. At some point there was lunch and a turn on the serpentine dirt path cone weave which I thought would make a pretty good video game with all the flopping over and picking up going on. We learned to drag, twist or slide the bike to a better position for picking it up using the slope of the hill in your favor. (Don’t try sliding your bike on pavement.) We learned the usual butt in the seat method and also the horse-it-up-by-the-handlebar method. (Continued on Page 48) Bikes & Beauties • march 2013 • 25

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Alexia Ayars

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march 2013

Alexia Ayars

kitty of the month

m ag a z i n e

Alexia Ayars

Captain mike

come on



know I have bitched about this before but, this just pisses me off! Here I am at the grocery store buying stuff to make for dinner. As I’m standing in line I notice an attractive young girl maybe 21 or 22 in front of me. She’s buying steaks and lobster tails. I’m thinking man! Some guy is going to get lucky tonight! Meanwhile I’m buying ground beef, store brand beans and canned tomatoes to make chili. You know; something that will last a few days. I notice as she is paying that she is using food stamps. That’s right she is eating steak and lobster paid for by every tax payer. And here I am THE TAX PAYER, budgeting so I can eat for a few days. Now, I am not against someone who needs help. Getting a little help every now and then is something most Americans have needed at one time or another. But in all honesty; REALLY?? That’s just fucking wrong!! How is it that she can abuse the system? I know, because the system is designed to be abused!!! I work my ass off to stay off of government assistance and this fine little thing barely old enough to pee is eating steak and lobster on my tax dollar! After she left the line, I made a comment to the cashier. Who responded with, “We see that all the time.” ALL the people on food stamps are eating better than the rest of us with jobs financing their free 5 star meals. I think we should all write to our congressman and get some restrictions on what you can buy with food stamps. For those of you on food stamps that abuse , I say get a fucking job or even a second job! I have three.

Thanks for listening to my rant

Capt Mike


live to ride! ride to eat! by: Steven “FISH” Fishman



ometimes you come across a place that just stays in your thoughts wherever you eat, “Sardinia” is that place. Located on Miami Beach just off Alton Road, this Italian restaurant is far from any Italian fair you will find. Other than being in Sardinia Italy, The owner imports everything and Sardinia is also known for their fresh home made cheeses. I was lucky enough to be taken here by my girlfriend for my birthday. As you pull up to the corner there is a nice view of the bay and there are great shops and other restaurants that i will check out in the future. One thing that stands out the most here is that everyone speaks Italian and everything is mostly titled in italian on the menu but everyone is eager to explain anything you can’t understand. We started off with the Tapas, Home made Mozzerella and Burrata cheeses and Soft Picorino, chunks of freshParmiggiano Reggiano, Prosciutto di Parma aged 24 months, Pecorino Tartufato Del Mugello which is a special cheese, Roasted Red Peppers, Marinated anchovies (not the salty flat ones). Fresh bread and hard salami and things I cannot pronounce but they explain everything to you which is great as it is fun. We were there on a sunday night and there was standing room only. I would recommend a reservation. We also had the Diver’s Scallops, wraped with guanciale, pan seared in a saffron broth, Pollastrello, whole free range cornish hen stuffed with lemon and rosemary. There is also an extensive wine list to choose from so if you are a wino this is the place to be. CIAO!! and BUON APPETITO!





al Meatballs

If you have a Restaurant or a bar you would like to share with us, your BIKER/FOODIE family. Please send your recommendations to so we can check them out and review them. We will give you credit in the article if your recommendation makes it into the magazine. Please send a picture of you and your bike also.

ccheri with Pa



Pane Frattau Goat Cheese and Spinach Ravioli


Flat bread

with Chee

se and H

oney is a


n special


Also please join our Facebook Page at LiveToRideRideToEat Please join the page and post places you visit and what you had when you were there as well as pictures so we will know what you recommend and why.

Bikes & Beauties • march 2013 • 33

uli the unruly

ZZ Top & Talking Jeans


could tell that they was mine, from the oil and the gasoline.. ZZ Top are talking Jeans, I’m talking carport. Nothing like the fresh, invigorating smell of oil and gas in the morning, when we rise. The Hubhog in all its Glory , smiling brightly, lazily spooning with the Chrome sparkling Red Flyer. What makes the Biker World so attractive ? Well, on a list from 1 to 10,a smooth running bike tops the list of course… living in Paradise certainly helps … The aesthetic built and curves of an iron steed, the smell, the feel, the sound ( straightpipes, of course – have I ever mentioned that?), the power, the freedom, the wind in your face , the union with nature.. and the people? That’s it to me. Reliability of true Brotherhood. Loyalty. A ‘Genuine Good Heartedness” that is nye impossible to find anywhere else. At 34 • Bikes & Beauties • march 2013

least I haven’t. Once I found it here, I stopped looking, anyway. Decades ago. My friends, my brothers -you make life a joy. Thank you for that. Booger’s 14th Annual Memorial is a prime example for loyalty and brotherhood- reliably, every year, his family, nuclear and extended, friends, brothers, come together at the Nitecap – bringing food for a grand potluck buffet-, ride to the cemetery, tell stories, remember him, all brothers who have left us and those who rode together then and are still here, pour a Bud Light by the plaque, have a drink or four, grab a bite and revive the old feeling of togetherness and stressfree, blissful, insane fun we used to have. Of our group of over 50 bikes, many have passed or moved away, yet, there’s still a handful of steadfast, stand-up, straight-up , “heart-core” brothers left that will honor the code, rain or shine. Reliably, every year. If not in

person, for good reason, so in spirit. THAT’s what it’s about. As the saying goes:” If I have to explain it, you wouldn’t understand”. Valentine’s Day – hugs, kisses, love, even weddings….ONE, to be exact…BadBoy married sweet Melissa in a spontaneous surprise ambush amidst bikes, babes, brotherhood and other bad boys – some of the cupids had little chubbed beerbellies ( hej! I said “little”!!!!) and wore black leather– what can beat that??? Is that the coolest thing, or what? Best of luck, kids, may it last an eternity and feel like a day in bliss… The same day brother Keewy was hit by a white SUV on Stirling, crashed his scoot, broke his right ankle and shin, sprained his left wrist – and the cager ? Took off, sonuvabitch. May he rot in hell. Thanks to the guys from the Fire Dept ,who were close behind and organized a rescue within minutes. Luckily Buddy, his scooter, was only lightly scratched, his heavy antique Harley would have had major damage . Speedy healing, Keewy, may the pain subside,the casts come off soon and the cager get eternal diarrhea. Bikes and Beauties Magazines 4th year Anniversary Party at Café 27 was a smash, as expected, great music, Morgan La Rue and gals n all – but, holy Panhead, Batman ! It’s been 4 years already, has it? Time flies when you’re having fun… Wheels of Man had their 40th Annual at Mickey’s the same night, magnificent event, as every year, always love to party with you guys, will make it next year… Morgan La Rue and the Shimmy Shake Revue turned 2 at Mickey’s… made quite the spectacle of themselves, as always. Congrats, lovelies ( make sure you don’t miss’em ) I ride so much, my tires were not up to making it to Lake Worth for the Annual States MC Annual- curses ! Gods willing, I’ll be there next year. Still not quite up to par, it goes up and downso, some events I make and some I don’t. Definitely, nothing personal, it’ll get better. You know I like people and things that are reliably, pleasantly, the same. There really is enough excitement in my life. So, here’s an Unruly Calendar - Friday is USMV MC , Deuces Wild

– Chapter 2 -night. Fabulous people, great food, incomparable company make for a perfect Friday night. Be there next time, starts at 7pm, it’s Open House, Drama Free Zone, just bliss. 350 SW 4th Ct, Davie Taco Tuesdays, at the Treasure Trove I’m gonna try outsupposedly the best Tacos, the handsomest Dudes, including bartender Dave, and most gorgeous gorgeousnesses around (hard to believe, handsomer and gorgeousnesser than those I hang out with?? I’ll report)… MotorHead Mondays at the Trove with Bike Night and Antique Cars- I can’t resist that , can YOU? Motorheads, unite! 2933 SE 5th St in Ft Lauderdale… Wednesday and Saturday Mickey’s in Pompano , might as well stay the night for Sunday morning’s “Wake Up Dave” Service under the Pompadome – or, let’s just all move up to Pompano already, get it over with. 350 SW 12th Ave,Pompano Beach Thursdays, if I ever get off early, it’ll be Fatman’s Dinner at the States in- you guessed it- Pompano, around the corner from Mickey’s… that’s where it’s at nowadays. Fiasco Brothers 1st Annual Poker Run on March 24th in Vero Beach is a MUST this year – are you ready? We’ll leave early, 9am kickstands up, from Stratford’s off Hollywd Blvd and I-95, heading North to Vero, 122 S US1 to Uncle Dom’s- bikes leave there between 10 and 11:30 … let’s GO, Boa Brigade ! Get well to Chickenfoot, Fireman Mark, Keewy, Caveman Kenny, Phil, Dragon and everyone else who is in disrepair. Our “FUNruly Games” have been postponed to April, way too much going on this month to plan and enjoy without stress – it’ll happen, though, be ready. Please, do take the time and become a member of ABATE , choose the SE chapter if you live down here – ( .

See you in the Wind, be safe, enjoy, love life, the one you’re with and each other-And do ride it like you stole it.

I love you, man, Uli All photos and video on FB or Ulili01 on youtube.

Bikes & Beauties • march 2013 • 35

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Scene Around bikes & beauties

44 Bikes & Beauties Magazine was at it again, Ride, Sip, Click, Ride, Sip, Click. A little bit if this and that.

We played hippies at the Love-In to benefit Phil Condon at Flossie’s Bar & Grill, see our story on Page 38. It is always a good weekend when we get to go racing. We took a ride north to Palm Beach International Raceway, formerly known as Moroso for the annual Bike Bash! If you have never been you do not know what you are missing! See our coverage on Page 39. Keeping up with the Jones’s we hit the streets of the Wynwood Art District for the inaugural Vintage Motorcycle Festival presented by Old Soul Young Blood & Wood Tavern, the only place to be on Thursday Nights for Vintage Bike Night, take a little look at Page 41 to see what you missed. Then of course, last but not least, Bikes & Beauties Magazine celebrated our 4th Anniversary at Cafe 27, see the images by Laurie Hirst on Page 44.

38 love in


39 bike bash

44 wynwood

bbm anniversary

Bikes & Beauties • march 2013 • 37

scene around > Flossie’s love in <

Every once in a while you meet someone that leaves a foot print on your heart. Phil & Shelley Condon are staples in the South Florida motorcycle community. Known by most for their years of service with the Bike Show, a local motorcycle television show geared to promote everything motorcycles in South Florida. By far two of the most laid back and genuine people you will ever meet. A few months ago while on his way home from work Phil was in a motorcycle accident. With a long recovery ahead, Flossie’s Bar & Grill offered their motorcycle hot spot for the Love In to benefit Phil Condon. The afternoon was filled with live music, vendors, games and the flower station where participants could be adored in daisy’s for a small donation. It was a great day spent with great folks rallying together for one great couple!

38 • Bikes & Beauties • march 2013

scene around

> bike bash 2013 <

What are twenty nine words to describe 2013’s Bike Bash, as Alxa Trebek may one day ask; Cobalt Chrystal blue skies, burning tangerine-yellow sunshine, sticky fire scorched ribs, enthusiastically spilled beer, perpetually perfumed panties and the aroma of jellied molten rubber spiced with high octane fuel. Once again this event has dished up a weekend of amazement with a touch of hysteria. Throughout the weekend there was never a dull moment on the main stage. The entire event was hot rubber burning action to the back ground sounds of combustible nitrous exploding on the quarter mile strip. Diehards, weekend warriors and competition junkies were all racing together for their shared love of speed and the claim of top dog for a day. Bikes & Beauties made friends and had a blast while covering all the action in front and behind the scenes. Let me tell you there were no bad angles at the bikini contest where for the very first time in my photo journalistic career I witnessed a contestant smother herself in strawberries and whip cream then seductively feast it all down. Needless to say the crowd of on lookers erupted with emotions of joy, disbelief and wonder as they covered their kids eyes! I’m sure some parents are still trying to explain why an adult would spill food on them on purpose. I will guarantee the young lady will not have a problem booking future bikini events. As the weekend came to a close and the sun crept close to the horizon the bike show awards were presented bringing the day of racing action to an end. This year’s bikes were indeed a conglomeration of imagination and mastery in the use of metal, wire and rubber. I just hope our photos do justice to the great time we had at this truly unique gathering of motors and humanity. Can’t wait for next year!

Bikes & Beauties • march 2013 • 39

scene around

> Wynwood Art District Inaugural Vintage Motorcycle Festival < President’s Day weekend is always jam-packed with options for mischief, any way you slice it Miami is the place to be in February. With a little bit of everything happening around town it is nice to have a little nostalgia thrown in the mix. Old Soul Young Blood, a Miami-based company dedicated to promoting the bike culture of days gone by while resurrecting old school motorcycles held their first annual Wynwood Vintage Motorcycle Festival. Sponsored by Wood Tavern, the eclectic hot spot in the middle of the art district quickly becoming the best Thursday Night Bike Night for vintage motorcycles. The inaugural festival featured live music, a pin-up beauty pageant, skate ramp and a classic motorcycle competition. We saw great names like Iron & Air Magazine, Dime City Cycles, Rusted Jalopy – Marlowe Beulvas, and many more. The festival was a profound tribute to the vintage motorcycle culture, located in one of the coolest spots in South Florida, the Wynwood Art District, Miami, Florida.

Bikes & Beauties • march 2013 • 41

slice of life



Legends Rally Series

Peterson’s Harley-Davidson, Miami


he second event in the Legends Rally Series for 2013 was hosted by Peterson’s Harley-Davidson of Miami on February 16 - 17. Eleven riders signed up to take the Legends challenge. Two riders arrived from the Lone Star State (Texas), two from South Carolina, and one from Ohio. On Friday, February 15 riders arrived at Peterson’s for registration and vehicle inspection. The air was wet and cold. The weekend would bring more cold temperatures and unpleasant conditions. The event started at 8:00 AM on Saturday, February 16 as the Legends organizer Jimmy Huffman handed out the event’s points of interest (PIO) maps. There were only fifteen PIOs on the map which would take you as far south as Key West and as far north as Baton Rouge, Louisiana. Every rider was plotting his course, with one hour between maps and kick stands up. I took a quick picture of the map and sent it to my navigator Angela who was waiting to plot my course of travel. Baton Rouge seemed too far away to travel and pick up any other points. It was about 900 miles one way, but it was worth 20,000 points. No other PIO carried this value and it appeared you would have to get there and back to have a chance for placement. At 9:00 AM the organizer waved his hand and the riders were off. Most took 441 north out of the dealership to Hollywood Boulevard to get on the Turnpike north. I left out of the dealership taking back roads to the Turnpike entrance at the Dolphin Stadium. I had a bit of a head start because I knew the area in Miami Gardens. It didn’t take long for the other riders to catch me on the turnpike. Riders chose to test their abilities of throttle control and paid the price as the day progressed. I was traveling north bound on I-75 around Orlando with three other riders. Frank Kelly (#175), TJ (#77), and Jeff Kohen (#13) kept playing leap frog when Frank and TJ had to stop for fuel at around 210 miles. Jeff and I continued on due to our extra fuel capacity. Jeff was riding a new Gold Wing and I of course sat upon Black Beauty. Around Ocala I felt my rear end start to slide around. I reduced my speed to regain control and figured it was just a rut in the road or a strong wind, as I accelerated back to my cruising speed again my rear end started to go back and forth. Jeff was getting off the interstate to refuel, I still had a quarter tank of fuel, but I needed to check out what was causing my imbalance. As I exited the interstate I realized what my issue was, a blown tire. I carefully negotiated my way into the Mobile gas station just off the interstate and pulled up next to a pump. I quickly refueled both tanks and pulled out my tire repair kit and Harley air compressor. I found the whole about the size of the top of a pen, dead center of my rear tire. 42 • Bikes & Beauties • march 2013

Shaun VanBeber

Rider: #600 • Age: 43 954-826-2359 The author of this article writes a monthly newsletter called the Road Less Traveled which details his training and participation in long distance riding competitions.

I quickly plugged the hole and connected my air compressor. Jeff had completed his fuel stop and rode by me as I was lying prone on the ground attempting to fix my tire. Jeff looked down at me and laughed and off he went. I couldn’t get the tire to take air, the hole was properly patched, but I couldn’t get the tire to take air, then I realized why. The tire had come off the rim. I jumped to my feet and called my navigator for the nearest Harley dealership. I also called Rich with the service department at Peterson’s North store for assistance. Angela and Rich both called me back with the information I needed.

Blown Tire just south of Ocala

I called Ocala Harley-Davidson and advised them of my situation. They told me that they would have a truck out to me in thirty minutes. I called the organizer and advised him that I had a blown tire and that I would be back on route as soon as my tire was replaced. Three hours later, I was back on the road to Louisiana. Angela warned me that we were way behind our schedule and that I would have to skip several points of interest to make it back in time. I assured her we would be fine, just stay the course and things would work out. Marianna had two points of interest worth 3,000 points. I asked Angela to send me through Marianna so we could get some points on the board. We arrived at the Bellamy Bridge at sun down. I had to be in and out quickly if I had any chance of making up time and points. Such was not the case; I took Black Beauty for a little off-roading to try and save time since the bridge was in the middle of the woods and away from any paved roads. I realized my mistake too late, the area had been saturated by rain the day before my arrival and the once hard forest ground was now slippery mud. I got to a point where I was riding through puddles of water. I knew if I continued I would get Black Beauty stuck in the mud, so I stopped on what appeared to be solid (Continued on page 47)


Scene Around

> Bikes & Beauties Magazine Anniversary Party < I woke up this morning singing the Beatles, with a sore a$$, strange bruises on my hip, ringing ears and, an eyelash stuck to my forehead. Hell yeah!! You know what that means! That was one hell of a freaking party! Saturday, February 23, 2013 we packed into Café 27 located on US Highway 27 just North of Griffin Road in Weston, FL to celebrate our 4th Anniversary! The party was hoping before we even opened the gates as fans began to lined up to get in early on all the action. As always, Bikes & Beauties Magazine laid out a phenomenal spread of grub. Looking like a small heard of swine, we watched as Armando Lopez and his crew chopped and served a mountain of fresh roasted pig, roasted chicken and all the goodies. My mouth is still watering just thinking about how fantastic the food was! Yum!!! We rocked and rolled until we all reached a buzz. That’s right about when then the real shenanigans began. One after the other our favorite fans pilled in, filing the Café creating a chill party. It was great to see all of the old faces and meet all of our new friends. Celebrating another year in business is a great thing to do in this day and age. We are excited about what is to come here at Bikes & Beauties Magazine and look forward to doing it again next year. We believe that together anything is possible so let’s start planning! Special thanks to this year’s Anniversary Party Sponsors, Peterson’s Harley-Davidson, Bikers Inc, Budweiser, Mean Cycles, Eagle Rider Motorcycle Sales & Rentals and Royal Limousine for their continued support and commitment to the success of our great publication. We cannot wait for the next event and don’t worry! We are not going to make you wait another whole year! We have a few surprises coming in April that you will not want to miss. So stay tuned! Until then, we will keep doing what we do best, creating a spectacle while entertaining the masses. Ride Safe and Go Slow!

44 • Bikes & Beauties • march 2013

scene around

> Bikes & Beauties Magazine Anniversary Party <

Bikes & Beauties â&#x20AC;˘ march 2013 â&#x20AC;˘ 45

slice of life My Mother (Justine Davis) and the 1972 Honda 125

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slice of life (Continued from page 42)

ground and began to walk the rest of the way to the bridge. The water level was at the top of my boots and there was no bridge. I called the organizer and asked what I should do. I was advised that the bridge was covered by water and that I would get my points for making it to the area. I started back to Black Beauty, When I arrived I noticed that Black Beauty’s rear tire had sunk into the mud, Wonderful! I knew I couldn’t turn her around in this mess so I attempted to do what the rice rocket riders do with their bikes. Using the kick stand as a pivot point I tried to turn her around. It worked until the kick stand sunk, and down she went. I cannot begin to tell you how I did it, nor if I could not it again.

Stuck in the mud in Marianna near the Bellamy Bridge

But, somehow I managed to pull the rear end around so that the front end was facing out of the woods. I then lifted all 1,200 pounds of Black Beauty to her tires. I started the bike and fishtailed around ten feet and back to the ground we went. Five times, count them, one, two, three, four, five, I lifted her to her tires, five times, and I dropped her back into the mud. It took me one hour to wrestle Black Beauty from the clutches of the dark Marianna forest of mud. Once back to the entrance I was relieved to be back on solid ground and so was Black Beauty. I knew I had to be careful in curves because mud was literally caked on Black Beauty from tire to fairing and saddle bags. I was able to get the 3,000 points in Marianna, but added another hour to my delay and down time. I throttled down across I-10 into Louisiana and along I-12 into Baton Rouge and Parish Ready Mix for my 21,000 point POI. Fellow long distance rider Bubba Netherland and his crew welcomed the riders that attempted the long haul to Louisiana with food and drinks. I had arrived in Baton Rouge at 1:00 AM. I had 12 hours to make it back to the finish line or be disqualified. Frank Kelly (#175), TJ (#77), Kenny Miller (#21), and Jeff Kohn (#13) were all still very much in the running for placement. I thought for sure I was out of placement but; I did not stop, knowing anything could happen in twelve hours. Around 2:00 AM, I heard that Jeff Kohn (#13) had also got stuck in some mud in Alabama. I kept on. The temperature dropped from the mid 60’s during the day to the mid 20’s at night. As I was about to enter the Florida panhandle from Alabama I checked my weather application which indicated 27 degrees. Yes, I was cold, but my heated gear was keeping me warm enough to continue. As I reached the very first exit point in Florida I ran

Black Beauty out of fuel. No problem, I had called a friend in the area and asked him to leave me five gallon of gas at the agriculture check point. A black Harley-Ford pick-up truck stopped to assist and gave me a ride to the agriculture check point. I grabbed my gas and the good Samaritan took me back to Black Beauty. I filled her from tank and headed back into the darkness of I-10 eastbound. I didn’t get three miles up the road when I inadvertently hit my fuel switch knocking it out of position. I reached out to reengage the front tank and due to the cold and lack of feeling in my hand; I broke the fuel switch off in the housing in the middle position. The middle position would not allow either tank to flow. I started calling Mike, it was 3:00 AM and I knew he was the only person that would be able to tell me what to do. I was pulling the outer fairing off while Mike’s daughter, Samantha woke him up. He told me to locate the switch housing behind the fairing, I had already done this. He told me how to connect the wires that were connected to the switch housing in order to operate the front tank and have a fuel gauge. I had lost my rear fuel tank, but I was not out. Instead of replacing all the screws that hold the fairing in place I duct taped the fairing down in place and threw the screws in the saddle bag. I was still 700 miles from the finish line with 10 hours remaining. It was going to be close, but I knew Black Beauty would get it done. I stayed steady across I-10 east bound and the southbound on I-75 to the Florida turnpike. I had to stop 4 times to fuel, each stop took me less than three minutes. I arrived at the dealership at 12:45 PM, Frank Kelly (#175), and TJ (#77) arrived at 12:52 PM. Kenny Miller (#21) was also on time and had a great ride. Jeff Kohn (#13) arrived about 1:20 PM, after the deadline and was disqualified from placement. During the awards ceremony held at Peterson’s HarleyDavidson of North Miami on Sunday, February 17 the following riders were recognized. Third Place and $250.00: Shaun VanBeber sponsored by Peterson’s Harley-Davidson. Second Place and $500.00: Kenny Miller #21. First Place and $1450.00: Frank Kelly (#175) sponsored by Harley Heaven of Irmo, South Carolina

Mechanical Update:

Mechanic Mike Cloudas – Peterson’s Harley Davidson Mike has taken care of Black Beauty since the day I purchased her in 2009. He takes great pride in his work and it shows when Black Beauty which has over 112,000 miles keeps on running. Black Beauty has competed in five competitions and placed in each event, because she is built to run. Mike will have to make some minor repairs to the broken fuel switch and the crew at Peterson’s Harley will brainstorm on how we can get better fuel mileage out of Black Beauty for our next event in South Carolina. The Next Event: Legends Rally Series - Peterson’s Harley-Davidson of Miami. The next Legends Rally Series event will be hosted by Harley Heaven of Irmo, South Carolina. This event will take us through some the most amazing roadways in the southeast United States including the Dragons Tail and the Great Smokey Mountains. Bikes & Beauties • march 2013 • 47

Reader’s Writes

Send Us Your Stories!

Bikes&Beauties Magazine, L.L.C. • P.O. Box 813269, Hollywood, FL 33081-3269 • E-mail: (Continued from Page 16)

Dinner came and was superb once more. The chef did something to Brussel Sprouts which I found to be one of the best things I ever had! We each shared the high and low points of the day, then aching and limping slightly, headed off to bed. Next day had a review of previous triumphs and tragedies, then to the wooded hill to do the off camber cone weave course both up and down hill. More dropping of the bike along the way, but seems at low speed in the dirt no one gets hurt. Up to the Whoops at the top of the hill to practice stopping on top of each earthen hummock, then under control, on to the next one. I watched the rider in front of me fall over at 0 mph while waiting his turn. How could that happen? I then repeat the stunt but smack my intake manifold into the instructor’s rear wheel, dislodging the intake. The bike refuses to run at anything but wide open throttle, so we switch bikes, and as it is time for lunch, he coasts my wounded bike down a steep hillside while I ride on down to the paddock. Turned out my throttle cable under the tank got caught on something in the fall and that was why the bike wouldn’t idle properly. No harm done. Next part way down the driveway, a sharp left through the bushes and downhill into the meadow. There we have everyone’s favorite exercise - figure 8 u-turns in a box and the always popular figure 8 off camber drill! I killed a bunch of cones but no trees or instructors. Did I mention I dropped the bike a few more times? But the real treat was the big outside loop around the meadow on the dirt. That’s what I call fun! Later we learn to go up and down a hill under control and do a trail stop (to see which way the road goes left, right, or straight), then a downhill where front brake is allowed due to the shift in weight putting more pressure on the front wheel so it won’t lock up. Learning to start on a hill was wild: you can 48 • Bikes & Beauties • march 2013

bikes& ies beautbag mail

pop the clutch in first to act as an emergency brake, then use the rear brake to hold you while you rev the engine and play with the clutch to get going without wheel spin. My biggest problem was I couldn’t seem to get the rear brake to work. My right foot turns out (flue foot) so I need to concentrate to make it toe-in to find the brake pedal and I think I am on it and pushing on it, but the bike doesn’t hold on the hill and doesn’t seem to slow enough for a stop when I am approaching a stopped rider. Rather than crash into anyone, I try the very slightest amount of front brake and ... flop over every time! Not good for my confidence - ego died a long time before! After the exercises, its back up the hill part way and then a 179 degree right turn between the barbed wire and the edge of the road, on to a path between boulders, grazing cows and horses. Someone drops a bike ahead. The two riders ahead of me dismount to go help, and as I try to dismount on the off camber terrain, I drop the bike again. Then back downhill and up the driveway but make a left this time up on to the cell tower road. It is severely rutted and muddy and I manage to drop it in the mud twice on the way up, the last time within sight of the cell tower, but I can’t get it started on the muddy hill. The instructor rides it up the last 20 feet but I am feeling really tired and decide to call at a day at about 4:30 PM , skipping the last trail ride and the sand pit. In 20/20 hindsight, I should have continued on (more speculation later on), but I figured that I had the expedition to Base Camp ahead of me, and so far I had not gotten hurt, so I called in wisdom as the better part of valor. However, this meant going down the muddy rutted cell tower road following the instructor and one other rider who needed to head back early, coasting down engine off, most of the way, trying to follow his line. All this with my insecure rear braking ability. Happy hour beer and hors d’ouvres and dinner came along with graduation certificate presentation. We celebrated with the House brand Rawhyde wines. Tomorrow, our adventure gets serious.


Tech with joel mercado



As promised, this month I’ll lay out all of my suspicions as to the possibilities of the future Harley-Davidson models.


any different things steer my suspicions, like the motor company’s general timeline for release of “new” models, engines or dramatic upgrades. We’re about due for something to grab our attention. First- Eric Buell is gone off to build hyper expensive one off race bikes. Now that the Don of Mass Centralization shut down the Buell Motorcycle arm through Harley the Blast is no more. Why should that matter? Because HarleyDavidson’s Rider’s Edge program uses the Buell Blast platform for its entry level training bike. The current Blast fleet won’t last forever so change was inevitable. Harley wants to have a small, entry level unit with the Harley brand on it. What the rumor mill is churning out is a 400500cc single cylinder or possibly a “tiny twin”. They have known about this as early as 2010 but generally try to keep things quiet since the shut down of Buell came too fast to coordinate the release of the new unit with the shut down of the old. Harley has put strong efforts to break into the highly sought after and lucrative motorcycle market in India. They have purchased and been building a factory there since late 2009. I highly suspect that the engineering for the international model and the new domestic model will be very similar, killing two birds with one stone. Second is the one model year hiatus of the Road Glide series. The 2014 model year will be noticeably short one of

its hottest sellers and new “in” bagger to have. The unofficial stance is “the tooling used to produce the body parts has reached its operational wear and must be replaced” I believe that is partially true, and they’re taking the opportunity to redesign the next version of the ever evolving “shark nose” fixed fairing. But what else is the motor company keeping under wraps? When Harley wants to test something out, like the 6 speed transmission, they pick a model and release it for a one year test run like they did with the 2006 Dyna series. After that they decide if it becomes the new standard. I think the rereleased 2015 Road Glide will be another such experiment. But with what? This may not be the first place you heard it, but I really believe the first attempt at a liquidcooled Harley V Twin will make its debut in the all new 2015 Road Glide series. Why do I believe it? Check out the patent tech drawings. The focus will be on cooling the heads with two radiators hidden in the lower fairing. New tooling needed to manufacture body parts coincides with a new hidden cooling system, COINCIDENCE? I THINK NOT!! See you next month true believers.


Bikes & Beauties • march 2013 • 49


Winston BradBrad Winston


At Your Side Side On the Road Road And In the the Courts Courts • Auto accidents • Motorcycle accidents Bradley Winston Board Certified in Civil Trial • Trucking accidents • PeRSOnAL Medical malpractice InjuRY • Product liability • Slip, trip and fall


• Auto accidents • Motorcycle accidents • trucking accidents PERSONAL INJURY • Medical malpractice • Product liability • Slip, trip and fall



Order a Free Order a Free Consumer Law Guide Consumer Law Guide WWW.WInStOnLAW.COM/BOOkS/ no fees or costs unless weor recover no fees costs money for unless weyou. recover money for you. 50 • Bikes & Beauties • march 2013

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what, why and how hight?


efore you plop down your hard earned money for that new bike, consider what insurance will cost. Cost of insurance is based on many factors: age, sex, time riding a motorcycle, area you live in, type motorcycle, engine displacement, and much more. Male, under 25, novice rider and you want to ride that latest sport bike with 170 horsepower? Expect to pay the carrier big dollars. What is Insurance? - A contract between the insurance company and you. You pay the premiums, and the company will protect you—even from uninsured drivers. In Florida you might not even be required to purchase insurance. Let me try to explain this. Unlike a car, motorcycle insurance is optional. While it’s optional, it may not be wise to not carry insurance. So you think you have “Full Coverage”? Think again. There are two major parts of your policy that you must understand: The liability coverage and the uninsured motorist (UM) coverage Liability insurance protects your assets if you cause a wreck and hurt someone. The liability coverage you have will protect your assets from the person you injured. The insurance company will defend you (including hiring an attorney for you if you are sued) and pay the injured person up to the limits of the liability coverage you bought.

If you buy Uninsured Motorist insurance (UM) and a driver who has no insurance hurts you, then your insurance company will pay you damages up to the limits of UM coverage you bought. Since the other driver is uninsured, your company pays you. (Don’t feel bad—you paid for this protection.)

UM coverage is also very important for another reason. If you are the victim of a “hit and run” and the other driver is never caught, your UM coverage will protect you. Finally, your UM coverage will also protect you if the other party has less insurance than you do. If you get hit by someone who bought a low amount of insurance (for instance, $100,000 or less), your own policy will provide you protection up to the amount that you bought for yourself.

Why don’t they tell you that? Just How Much Uninsured Motorist Coverage Should You Buy? Buy As Much

Um Coverage As Your Insurance Company Will Sell You, Plain And Simple. I’m not getting a kickback here. It’s the

best deal in the industry. Your insurance company MUST offer UM coverage to you in the same amount as they sold you Body Injury coverage, and you can even “stack” those coverages and multiply them for a separate and additional limit for each and every covered vehicle on the policy!

However, they may not tell you how important this is. Since they don’t explain the reason why, you may have thought the agent was just trying to sell you something you didn’t need. Quite simply, buy the highest limits you can afford.

Brad Winston

Attorney winston & wigand 2924 Davie Rd. • Suite 200 Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33314 • 954.475.9666

Bikes & Beauties • march 2013 • 51

words of wisdom “If you look to others for fulfillment, you will never be fulfilled. If your happiness depends on money, you will never be happy with yourself. Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the world belongs to you.” -Lao Tzu “Everything is a gift of the universe – even joy, anger, jealously, frustration, or separateness. Everything is perfect either for our growth or our enjoyment.” -Ken Keyes Jr. “There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in its hands. You seek problems because you need their gifts.” -Richard Bach “If you want to be happy, set a goal that commands your thoughts, liberates your energy, and inspires your hopes.” -Andrew Carnegie “Tension is who you think you should be, relaxation is who you are.” -Ancient Chinese Proverb “I believe the recipe for happiness to be just enough money to pay the monthly bills you acquire, a little surplus to give you confidence, a little too much work each day, enthusiasm for your work, a substantial share of good health, a couple of real friends and a wife and children to share life’s beauty with you.” -J. Kenfield Morley “For me it is sufficient to have a corner by my hearth, a book and a friend, and a nap undisturbed by creditors or grief.” -Fernandez de Andrada “You cannot judge what should bring others joy, and others cannot judge what should bring you joy.” -Alan Cohen “The art of living lies less in eliminating our troubles than growing with them.” -Bernard M. Baruch

hA ha HA ha The Cheating Husband

A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house, where they made passionate love all afternoon. Exhausted from the wild sex, they fell asleep, awakening at around 8:00 pm. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Mystified, she nonetheless complied. He slipped into his shoes and drove home. “Where have you been?” demanded his wife when he entered the house. “Darling, I can’t lie to you,” the husband said. “I’ve been having an affair with my secretary and we had sex all afternoon. I fell asleep and didn’t wake up until eight o’clock.” The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, “You lying bastard! You’ve been playing golf!”

Cashing In

A woman was cleaning her husbands dresser drawers when she found 3golf balls and a box with $2000 in it. She waited for him to come home from the golf course to ask him why these things were hidden in his dresser drawer. The husband said I’m sorry I hid this from you but the truth is every time I cheated on you over the last 30 years I put a golf ball in the drawer. The wife was very upset at first but after thinking about it said “I guess 3 times in 30 years is really not that bad! Oh by the way what is the $2000 in the drawer. The husband replied” Well every time I got to a dozen balls I sold them.

RIP Bernie

A mortician was working late one night. It was his job to examine the dead bodies before they were sent off to be buried or cremated. As he examined the body of Bernie Schwartz, who was about to be cremated, he made an amazing discovery: Bernie Schwartz had the longest penis he had ever seen! “I’m sorry Mr. Schwartz,” said the mortician, “But I can’t send you off to be cremated with a tremendously huge penis like this. It has to be saved for posterity.” And with that the coroner used his tools to remove the dead man’s schlong. The coroner stuffed his prize into a briefcase and took it home. The first person he showed was his wife. “I have something to show you that you won’t believe,” he said, and opened his briefcase. “Oh my god!” she screamed, “Bernie Schwartz is dead!”

“Be happy with what you have. Be excited about what you want.” -Alan Cohen 52 • Bikes & Beauties • march 2013

crazy-bizarre wacky-weird A man was arrested last night after throwing a brick into the Plexiglas window of a jewelry store… the brick bounced back, hit him in the head and knocked him cold until the police got there. Police interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message “He’s lying” was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn’t telling the truth. Believing the “lie detector” was working, the suspect confessed. Burglars in Maryland tried to cut through a safe using a Laser Tag gun. Mexico - A group of drug traffickers cleverly decided to use a propane tanker to cross the border from Mexico to El Paso, Texas. They released the propane and concealed it within the truck 6,240 pounds of marijuana. The men did not realize, however, that they had misspelled the name of the gas company. As a female shopper exited a convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher, and police apprehended him within minutes. They put him in the cruiser and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, “Yes Officer, that’s her. That’s the lady I stole the purse from.” In Bent Forks, Ill., kidnapers of ice-cube magnate Worth Bohnke sent a photograph of their captive to Bohnke’s family. Bohnke was seen holding up a newspaper. It was not that day’s edition and, in fact, bore a prominent headline relating to Nixon’s trip to China. This was pointed out to the kidnapers in a subsequent phone call. They responded by sending a new photograph showing an up-to-date newspaper. Bohnke, however, did not appear in the picture. When this, too, was refused, the kidnapers became peevish and insisted that a photograph be sent to them showing all the people over at Bohnke’s house holding different issues of Success Magazine. They provided a mailing address and were immediately apprehended. They later admitted to FBI agents they did not understand the principle involved in the photograph/newspaper concept. “We thought it was just some kind of tradition,” said one.

you ought to know... 1. Before 1850 golf balls were made of leather and stuffed with feathers. 2. Clocks made before 1687 had only one hand, and hour hand. 3. The motto of the American people, “In God We Trust,” was not adopted as the national slogan until 1956. 4. More Americans have died in automobile accidents than have died in all the wars ever fought by the United States. 5. The ampersand (&) was once a letter of the English alphabet. 6. The principality of Monaco consists of 370 acres. 7. There are more than 40,000 characters in Chinese script. 8. The main library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every year because when it was built, engineers failed to take into account the weight of all the books that would occupy the building. 9. Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history. Spades--King David, Clubs--Alexander the Great, Hearts-Charlemagne and Diamonds--Julius Caesar. 10. If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one leg front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; if the horse has all 4 legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes. 11. Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th. The last signature wasn’t added until 5 years later. 12. The Eisenhower interstate system requires that one mile in every five must be straight. These straight sections are useable as airstrips in times of war or other emergencies. 13. The cruise liner, Queen Elizabeth 2, QE2, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns. 14. The highest point in Pennsylvania is lower than the lowest point in Colorado. 15. The first airline, DELAG, was established on October 16, 1909, to carry passengers between German cities by Zeppelin airships. Up to November 1913, more than 34,000 people had used the service. 16. Titanic was running at 22 knots when she hit the iceberg 17. The citrus soda 7-UP was created in 1929; ‘7’ was selected because the original containers were 7 ounces. ‘UP’ indicated the direction of the bubbles

Bikes & Beauties • march 2013 • 53

ŠNina Sutherland â&#x20AC;˘

n a m hot he of t h mont


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