Creative Portfolio Yui Kakegawa Passage 1: Sitting at Prim’s knees, guarding her, is the world’s ugliest cat. Mashed-in nose, half of one ear missing, eyes the colour of rotting squash. Prim named him Buttercup, insisting that his muddy yellow coat matched the bright flower. He hates me. Or at least he distrusts me. Even though it was years ago, I think he still remembers how I tried to drown him in a bucket when Prim brought him home. Scrawny kitten, belly swollen with worms, icrawling with fleas. The last thing I needed was another mouth to feed. But Prim begged so hard, cried even, I had to let him stay. It turned out OK. My mother got rid of the vermin and he’s a born mouser. Even catches the occasional rat. Sometimes, when I clean a kill, I feed Buttercup the entrails. He has stopped hissing at me. How the Author did it: In this passage, Katniss describes her sister’s cat, Buttercup, in a very unpleasant way. He is an extremely ugly cat, with a “mashed-in nose, half of one ear missing, eyes the colour of rotting squash.” Additionally, he is mean to Katniss, and holds a grudge against her for what happened years ago. In this paragraph, Katniss describes how awful their relationship is: it is full of distrust, and the only pleasant contact they have is giving him entrails and in return, him not hissing at her. Moreover, this passage indiscretely displays Katniss’ harsh, yet rational personality because she tried to drown a cat, due to its weak and sickly state. Rewrite: Sitting at Prim’s knees, guarding her, is the world’s most beautiful cat. Pointy nose and ears, with eyes the color of emerald. Prim named him Buttercup, because of his beautiful yellow coat, exactly like the bright flower. He’s really loving. Years ago, when Prim brought him home, the poor thing was skinny and infested by worms and fleas. I felt bad, and although the last thing I needed was another mouth to feed, Prim convinced me to let him stay. After my mother got rid of the vermin, he turned out to be great. He’s a born mouser, and even catches the occasional rat. When I clean a kill, I feed Buttercup the entrails, and he purrs at me. Rationale: Because the original passage has a negative dominant impression, I made it completely different by describing Buttercup as a beautiful and loving cat. In the original passage, Buttercup is an ugly and hateful cat that hisses at Katniss. I changed the dominant impression into a positive one by replacing the negative adjectives like ugly with “beautiful,” or “colour of rotting squash” with ”emerald.” I described him as loving, by using “purr” instead of “stop hissing,” in order to show what a nice cat he is. Additionally, I had to change the situation when Buttercup first arrives, and make it into a happy, more positive one. I did this by saying that although Katniss was reluctant at first because of the worms, she gave in to Prim because she felt bad for the poor kitten. Not only did I change the dominant impression of Buttercup, I also changed Katniss’ personality into a more sympathetic one.
Passage 2: “Sit down! Sit down!” says Haymitch, waving me over. The moment I slide into my chair I’m served an enormous platter of food. Eggs, ham, piles of fried potatoes. A tureen of fruit sits in ice to keep it chilled. The basket of rolls they set before me would keep my family going for a week. There’s an elegant glass of orange juice. At least, I think it’s orange juice. I’ve only ever tasted an orange once, on New Year’s Day when my father bought one as a special treat. A cup of coffee. My mother adores coffee, which we could almost never afford, but it only tastes biter and thin to me. A rich brown cignoreup of something I’ve never seen. “They call it hot chocolate,” says Peeta. “It’s good.” I take a sip of the hot, sweet, creamy liquid and a shudder runs through me. Even though the rest of the meal beckons, I ignore it until I’ve drained my cup. Then I stuff down every mouthful I can hold, which is a substantial amount, bein gcareful not to overdo it on the richest stuff. One time, my mother told me that I always eat like I’ll never see food again. And I said, “I woun’t unless I bring it home.” That shut her up. How the Author did it: In this passage, Katniss describes the marvelous meal that is served to her on the train ride to the Capitol. She is astonished by the “enormous platter of food,” which she has probably never seen before, coming from the poor District 12. The author makes it seem like a big deal to Katniss, because although to us the food including “eggs, ham,” and “piles of fried potatoes” may seem like an everyday breakfast, she has never experienced that before. She keeps comparing the food to her experiences at her home, like how she thinks that the basket of rolls could feed her family for a week, or how at home an orange is “a special treat”. This emphasizes the comparison between the riches of the food provided by the Capitol and Katniss’ usual meager food. Something as simple as hot chocolate amazes Katniss and Peeta, and she describes it as a “hot, sweet, creamy liquid” that makes “a shudder run through” her. Lastly, Katniss bitterly states how at home she could never rely on having food tomorrow, because she has to provide it for the family by illegally hunting for it. Overall this exerpt holds a positive mood due to the splendid food in front of Katniss, but the juxtaposition of its descriptions with her life in District 12 informs the reader of the poor state in which she has lived. Passage 3: The train finally begins to slow and suddenly bright light floods the compartment. We can’t help it. Both Peeta and I run to the window to see what we’ve only seen on television, the Capitol, the ruling city of Panem. The cameras haven’t lied about its grandeur. If anything, they have not quite captured the magnificence of the glistening buildings in a rainbow of hues that tower into the air, the shiny cars that roll down the wide paved streets, the oddly dressed people with bizarre hair and painted faces who have never missed a meal. All the colours seem artificial, the pinks too deep, the greens to bright, the yellows painful to the eyes, like the flat round discs of hard candy we can never afford to buy at the tiny sweet shop in District 12. How the Author did it:
In this extract, the Capitol is described as a gorgeous place that she has never seen before. The author does this by beginning the description with “a bright light.” This immediately makes the place seem like a luminous and beautiful place. Katniss is amazed by the “glistening buildings in a rainbow of hues,” and “shiny cars,” that she has never seen before in District 12. She uses words like “grandeur” and “magnificence” to describe the city. However, she is also bitter and sceptical about the residences of the Captiol and the city itself. She describes the people as “the oddly dressed people with bizzare hair and painted faces who have never missed a meal,” clearly showing resentment to the unfair society of Panem. She is disgusted by the peoples’ unusual fashion. Additionally, she points out how “all the colours seem artificial, the pinks too deep, the greens too bright, the yellows painful to the eyes.” Although she is amazed by the city, she is critical of how unreal everything is. Rewrite: The train finally begins to slow and I see a dull light coming from the windows. We can’t help it. Both Peeta and I run to the window to see what we’ve only seen on television, the Capitol, the ruling city of Panem. The cameras have completely deceived us of its grandeur. The buildings are dark and gloomy, and the entire city is dull, with little light and colours, including the old and rusty cars that roll through the dirt paved road. The people too, look completely normal, with undyed and natural hair, clothes, and makeup. All ther colours are the same – neutral, dull, but earthy, and is not any different from District 12. Rationale: In the original passage, Katniss is astonished by the grandeur of the Capitol, but also thinks it is too odd and looks unreal. Because of this, I decided to change the dominant impression by making everything seem dull and normal, but very natural, unlike the real Capitol. I started off with a “dull light,” forshadowing that the Capitol is not as bright and futuristic as the cameras suggest. The buildings, and cars are normal, as are the people, who wear ordinary clothes, and have no self-alterations. In the original passage, the colours are described as “too deep,” “too bright,” and “painful to the eyes.” I altered the impression by making the colours seem “earthy” and “neutral,” just like in Katniss’ home. Because in the original piece, she is in awe of how different and peculiar things are in the Capitol, I made it seem normal, by making it resemble District 12. Passage 4: The door opens and a young man who must be Cinna enteres. I’m taken aback by how normal he looks. Most of the stylists they interview on television are so dyed, stenciled and surgically altered they’re grotesque. But Cinna’s closecropped hair appears to be its natural shade of brown. He’s in a simple black shirt and trousers. The only concession to self-alteration seems to be metallic gold eyeliner that as been applied with a light hand. It brins out the flecks of gold in his green eyes. And, despite my disgust with the Capitol and their hideous fasions, I can’t help thinking how attractive it looks. How the Author did it:
In this paragraph, Katniss describes her stylist, Cinna, in a positive way, unlike the rest of the Capitol people that she has encountered. “Normal,” as she describes him, is not what she has seen so far in the Capitol. The others dye their hair, or surgically alter their bodies, which she portrays as “grotesque.” On the contrary, Cinna’s hair is natural, and clothes are simple and plain. Katniss finds the gold eyeliner, which is the only medium of self-alteration that he uses, very pleasing and attractive. By describing Cinna this way, the author is trying to show how even in the cruel and hideous people in the Capitol, Cinna is different. He does not try to alter himself and wear odd clothing like the others, which helps Katniss to like and trust him.