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September 2015 . Issue 4.9


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Steamboat Springs Hayden Oak Creek Yampa Photo courtesy of Nina Faust/Yampa Valley Crane Festival


September 2015

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

Valley Voice

Valley Voice

are you ready?

September 2015




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Thank you for a Great Summer, Steamboat! We’ll be open Labor Day weekend and Ocotoberwest on the 19th.


— Downtown Denver Hotel for 2 nights — 2 Avalanche Tickets — 2 Denver Nuggets Tickets — $200 Certificate for Dinner

ENTERTAINMENT BY: — DJ Music with Geo — Latin Dance Lesson with Eva Luna — Latin Mix Dance Group — Hokunani Hula — “Jasmir” Middle Eastern Dancers

ENTRY TICKET: Suggested $10 Donation ($5 Kids)

INTERNATIONAL CUISINE: The Cabin @ The Steamboat Grand Steamboat Smokehouse • Skull Creek Greek • Taco Cabo Ciao Gelato • Genuine Homemade Tamales • Homemade Desserts


Garden to Table Dinner

Yampatika's Environmental Learning Center at Legacy Ranch Feast on locally grown produce and locally raised meat presented by local people Proceeds benefit environmental literacy programing in Routt County

5:30 - 8:30pm Sept. 16, 2015

Offered in partnership with Colorado Mountain College

$75/person, space is limited, reserve today! In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards. - Mark Twain


September 2015

Valley Voice

The Steamboat Springs Arts Council presents

“A River Runs Through It”

September 12 & 13

7:00 p.m. Strings Music Pavilion

The Steamboat Symphony Orchestra Ernest Richardson, Music Director / Conductor

A Confluence of Sights, Sounds and Community.

Ernest Richardson Conductor

“Sunrise on the Yampa” -Photo by John Fielder

Brahms: Violin Concerto in D Major, Op. 77

John Fielder celebrates the Yampa River Anna Roder

with his images choreographed to the music of Beethoven, Vivaldi and John Williams.

Anna Roder -Violinist

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

Concert Tickets starting at $20 (early pricing before 9/1) For information on season & VIP tickets: 970-879-9008


Valley Voice

September 2015

Circulation 7000


Contents The Yampa Valley Crane Festival

The first frost coming in August… Page 6

By Karen Vail

Purchasing Power of teh Summer Visitor

Page 8

1897 Routt County Fights Two Wars

Page 9

By Karen Vail

Free Lunch to Nirvana

Page 10

All Arts! Page 12 By Wandering Rose

Art Director:

Matt Scharf

Business Manager: Scott Ford Proof Reader:

Gail Schisler

Event Calendar: Nina Rogers Sales:

Paulie Anderson

Valley Voice is published monthly and distributed on the last Wednesday of each month. Please address letters, questions, comments or concerns to: Valley Voice, LLC, 730 Lincoln Ave, Unit 1, or come by and see us at 1125 Lincoln Ave, Unit 2C, Steamboat Springs, CO 80487. Paulie Anderson: 970-8468953. Matt Scharf: 970-846-3801. Scott Ford: 970-819-9630. Website Subscription rate is $35 per year (12 issues). All content © 2013 Valley Voice, L.L.C. No portion of the contents of this publication may be reproduced in any manner without the written permission of the publisher.

Official Fine Print Advertisers assume full responsibility for the entire content and subject matter of their ads. In the event of error or omission in the advertisement, the publisher’s sole responsibility shall be to publish the advertisement at a later date. Advertisements and articles are accepted and published upon the representation that the author, agency and/ or advertiser is authorized to publish the entire contents and subject matter thereof. The author, agency, and/ or advertiser will indemnify and save Valley Voice, LLC harmless from all claims and legal action resulting from the contents of the articles or advertisements including claims or suits resulting from libel, defamation, plagiarism, rights to privacy and copyright infringements.

Summer traffic…

Car problems… Busted teeth… Incessant barking...

By Ellen and Paul Bonnifield

Paulie Anderson

Missing the birthday ride…

Rebranding a workable brand…

By Scott Ford



NOW is the time to find a great Date

Page 13

By Mr. Helpful M.D.

A River Runs Through It

Page 14

By Dagny McKinley

Raves... An incredible berry season… yum!!! The end of an era… Only four more meetings…

Calendar of Events

Page 16

By Nina Rogers

News from the Chief

Page 19

By Scott Parker

Colorado Water Plan

Page 20

By Marsha Daugenbaugh

Oh, The Humane-ity!

Page 21

By Trish Carpenter

Talking Green Page 22 By Meg Tully, Executive Director of Historic Routt County

Finally having a clear sky, moonless meteor shower… Gravity…

Say What?... “The gondola closing marks the end of summer in Steamboat, and the Lupita’s Cantina closing marks the end of summer in Oak Creek.”

Page 23

“Kids are back in school – it makes it feel like summer is over for the adults, too.”

Writers’ Corner Page 23

“When downhill skiers tell me to earn my downhill mountain biking, I tell them to buy a splitboard.”

Clean Fuel Progress By Fred Robinson

By Steamboat Springs Writers Group

Food Intolerance and Bogus Health Care

Page 24

“How can I be a year away from double nikels and not have a functioning car?”

By Monica Yager

Gettin’ the Lead Out

Page 26

By Nacho Neighbor

Socks for a Summer Kid

Page 27

By LA Bourgeois

The views and opinions expressed reflect the views and opinions of the authors and may not necessarily reflect the views and opinion of the editor, staff or advertisers in Steamboat’s Valley Voice.

Your Monthly Message

Direct all correspondence, articles, editorials or advertisements to the address below. The author’s signature and phone number must accompany letters to the editor. Names will be withheld upon request (at the discretion of the publisher).

I Like Talking About Money

Subscription rate is a donation of 35 measly dollars per year. However, if you wish to send more because you know we desperately need your money, don’t be shy, send us all you can!

By Todd Danielson

HUYA of The Month: Each month, we will award someone the HUYA pin for their decidedly idiotic actions and decisions. Remember folks, don’t take it too seriously – our collective tongue is permanently stuck in our cheeks…

Page 28

By Chelsea Yepello

Page 28

By Scott Ford

Super Fun Page

Page 30

Comics Page 31

Advertisers rates vary by size, call 970-846-8953 and we’ll come visit you.

Donald Trump We’re crossing our fingers that America comes up with some worthy candidates for the next Presidential Election, but with fools like The Hair taking an early lead in polls, we’re not going to hold our breath. Thank you, Donald, for pissing off just about every nationality and for all the good memes on the interwebs.

Please make checks payable to: Valley Voice, LLC Thank you for your support! 1125 Lincoln Ave. Unit 2C • Steamboat Springs, CO 80487

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Education is what survives when what has been learned has been forgotten. - B.F. Skinner


September 2015

Valley Voice

‘Boat Almanac

The Yampa Valley Crane Festival By Karen Vail

Photos courtesy of Nina Faust/Yampa Valley Crane Festival

The Yampa Valley Crane Festival is a 5-day event hosted by the Colorado Crane Conservation Coalition (CCCC) in partnership with twenty other organizations and businesses. The event showcases Greater Sandhill Cranes, other wildlife, and our scenic valley. The festival offers multimedia educational programs and hands-on activities for adults and children to observe, photograph, and enjoy cranes and other wildlife of the valley. Festival events provide opportunities to observe and learn about cranes and the importance of wildlife conservation and habitat management. In 2014, festival attendance topped 3,600, with attendees coming from 30 states.

In the Yampa River Valley, there are currently two primary staging areas. One is located east of Hayden in an area generally around Morgan Bottom/Hayden Power Plant and the other is along the lower Elk River, a few miles upstream of the confluence with the Yampa

In late August, just prior to fall migration, our local nesting population of sandhill cranes begin to gather in large flocks in several locations along our main rivers. These concentration sites are known by biologists as “Staging Areas.” A major component of the festival involves bringing people out to see the cranes in these staging areas and allowing them to have a first-hand experience as the cranes eat, socialize, and perform their unique dances. These experiences play a critical role in educating attendees about the cranes, the environment, and conservation. Throughout the nesting season, the crane’s omnivorous diet varies greatly and consists of plants, insects, tubers, and small grains, but they also foraged on earthworms, small mammals, amphibians, and reptiles. However, in late summer and early fall, at the time of the crane festival, cranes using the staging areas rely heavily on crops, grown by local farmers, as a large part of their pre-migration diet. The fundamental component of these staging areas is the availability of small grain crops. The small grain crops provide the necessary fat stores required during migrations.

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

River. In the historical past, when small grain crops were grown throughout the valley, other staging areas existed including one located south of Steamboat Springs. Staging areas generally contain both foraging areas and traditional night roosting sites, located in shallow water, along the Yampa and Elk Rivers. These foraging sites are an important habitat feature crucial to the annual life cycle of the cranes. Wheat, barley, and oat fields in the Hayden and Elk River areas have been used by the cranes as foraging sites for decades. However, in recent years the production of small grain crops in the valley has declined significantly. Whereas in the 1940’s approximately 85,000 acres were planted in small grain crops, now these crops are grown on only about 10,000 acres. Some fields that were previously well-used by the cranes are no longer in grain production. This decline in grain crops, particularly in the Hayden area, has caused the cranes to disperse over greater distances in the fall searching for suitable foraging sites. If the decline continues in grain production, cranes may significantly alter their use of the traditional staging areas. Biologists suspect that the cranes would disperse over a much larger area in the fall and the long-term effects on the local population and their use of the landscape is unknown.

In 2015, CCCC initiated a project called “Crops for Cranes,” a habitat enhancement endeavor intended to benefit both cranes and festival attendees. The primary objective of Crops for Cranes is to make available supplemental foraging opportunities for sandhill cranes as part of their preparation for the annual migration from the Yampa Valley to the San Luis Valley prior to a final movement to their primary winter grounds in New Mexico and Arizona. The secondary objective is to provide safe, accessible viewing opportunities for the public during the annual Yampa Valley Crane Festival. Similar projects have proven successful at the Monte Vista and Bosque Del Apache crane festivals.

Valley Voice

September 2015



CCCC plans to partner with farmers, private landowners, and conservation-minded organizations to create food plots for the cranes throughout the valley. Some of these food plots will consist of wheat crops that are purchased from willing farmers who already grow wheat and will be left in the field for the cranes. Other food plots will consist of wheat crops that are grown in new areas for the cranes. Many of these food plots n will be situated in places that will allow easy access for festival attendees to view the cranes.

A trial run for the Crops for Cranes project was begun in 2015 with CCCC partnering with Colorado Parks and yWildlife to plant wheat on two of our local State Wildlife Areas; 15 acres at Chuck Lewis SWA and 15 acres at Yampa River SWA. The Yampa River SWA is close to the current Hayden staging area. In both areas, the plan is to leave the crops standing for the cranes and other waterfowl species. Because of the wet conditions this past spring, the plantings were delayed until late May and early June. However, by late July, grain in both areas appeared to be maturing. The true test of this experiment will come in the fall when it can be determined whether the cranes will actually forage in these new areas during their pre-migration staging phase.

CCCC plans to monitor crane numbers in both areas during late August and through September to determine the success of this first experiment. CCCC’s goal is to make Crops for Cranes an annual project. The planning for 2016 is already underway. CCCC’s plan is to establish a total of 100 acres of small grain plots for the cranes during the next growing season. To that end, CCCC is currently seeking landowners and farmers who may be interested in participating in the project. CCCC is also seeking funding for the project from grants and from donations from interested organizations and partners. The desired outcomes for Crops for Cranes is maintainence of adequate food supplies for the cranes at a critical time in their yearly cycle, reduction of conflicts between farmers and cranes, and enhancement of the crane viewing experience of all crane festival attendees. (If you have questions or any interest in this project, contact Nancy Merrill at

Soar in for daily crane viewings, films, speakers, live raptors, bird walks, photo & nature writing workshops, family activities, bird sketching, Carpenter Ranch bbq & talk, ranch tours & more!

September 10-14 Steamboat & Hayden SPECIAL GUESTS! Crane Biologist Paul Tebbel Birding Magazine Editor Ted Floyd Nature Photographer John Fielder Local Crane Expert Van Graham

Schedule & festival details at Presented by CCCC, Inc.

The advantage of a classical education is that it enables you to despise the wealth which it prevents you from achieving. - Russell Green


September 2015

Valley Voice

Economics Common Sense of Our Dollars and Cents

Purchasing Power of the Summer Visitor By Scott L. Ford

Last month I began exploring the question, “Who is worth more – a visitor or a local during the summer months.” To begin with we must first define what is meant by “worth.” For the purpose of this discussion I am going to limit my analysis to only those elements that can be reasonably measured economically. I will focus on household incomes, job creation and although not my favorite economic measurement I will use generation of sales taxes. Using these three measurement categories will allow for a basic analysis of worth.

(970) 846-3123

es Hom w e s N odel Rem ations d Foun ing s vice m Fra ing Ser t Draf ates r Low Lewis com g. ve Stegineerin En

The starting point for this economic analysis is calculating the respective purchasing power during the summer months of the local population and that of our visitors. In last month’s issue I calculated the purchasing power of the local population of 16,500 over the summer months. Collectively we have an estimated purchasing power over the summer months of goods and services of $42.6 million. This month I will be estimating the purchasing power of the summer visitors to Steamboat Springs. To do this calculation involves a host of assumptions based on summer visitor research. These assumptions are: • The typical visitor stays 3.8 days • The typical visiting party is comprised of 3.5 people

October is Dental Month You will receive 15% off a general Dental cleaning. Hurry! October appointments fill up fast.

• About 30% of the total number of summer visitors stay with friends/family or in time shares. • Those who stay in paid lodging on average pay an Average Daily Rate (ADR) of $160. • The average visiting party spent $1,394 during their visit. • The allocation of visitor spending is allocated as follows: Category

Percent of Spending





Retail Shopping






Source = Chamber Summer Market Research

Happy Pets! Happy People!

The first step in this process is to calculate a reasonable estimate of the number of visitors to Steamboat during the four summer month period (Jun-Sep). To do this calculation I use the total of the 1% accommodation tax collected. For 2014 this amount was $217,979. When this number is divided by 1% the resulting quotient is 102 Anglers Drive

970-879-5273 For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

$21,798,000. ($217,979/1%= $21,797,900). When this number is divided by ADR of $160 per night it results in an estimate of the number of room nights sold ($21,798,000/$160 = 136,238 room nights. Dividing room nights sold by the average length of stay of 3.8 days yields 38,582 visiting parties. The last step in this calculation is to estimate of the number of visitors staying in paid lodging. This is done by multiplying the number of visiting parties by the average party size of 3.5. This calculation yields about 135,000 visitors staying in paid lodging (38,582 x 3.5 = 135,037). Next this number needs to be increased by the estimated number of visitors staying with friends/family/time share. Using 135,000 plus 30% equals 175,500 total visitors, 135,000 staying in paid lodging and 40,500 staying with friends/family/timeshares. All this mathematical gymnastics yields that a visitor staying in paid lodging spends about $400 during their visit to Steamboat and those staying with friends/family/ timeshares spend $216. Estimate of Expenditure by Category Per Visitor Per Stay Expenditure Type Visitors Staying in Paid Lodging Visitors Staying with Friends/Family Lodging $184 N/A Food/Beverage $108 $108 Retail Shopping









Number of Visitors



Est. Purchasing Power $54.0 M

$8.8 M

When the total expenditures of the two different types of visitors are combined the result is an estimate of the purchasing power of the summer visitor. The 175,000 visitors to Steamboat during the summer months had a collective purchasing power of $62.8 million. So the first finding in this analysis is that summer visitors have a greater purchasing power than locals by about $20 million ($62.8 million – $46.2 million = $20.2 million). However, in the determination of worth the analysis must now take into account the direct and indirect impact of the expenditures of these two groups on household income, job creation as well as the generation of sales taxes. In the next issue I will do these calculations.

Valley Voice

September 2015


Bonnifield Files

1897 Routt County Fights Two Wars By Ellen & Paul Bonnifield

Game and grass that belonged to everyone and was administered by the General Government (the Public Domain) was at the root of violence and murder in the frontier west. All pioneers expected to use the public domain for pasture and the wildlife for meat. As a result, wildlife herds were nearly extinct and feed on the open range was in terrible condition. Those who claimed the wide-open spaces were usually in a fight to enforce their claims. Although they are not clearly connected, the Ute War of 1897 and the Sheep and Cattle War of 1897 occurred in Routt County and each had the same basic cause. Who owned meat and grass on the public domain? Because the two fights were completely different, the reader will find two disconnected stories in this article. By the late 1890s, settlers were having a hard time finding enough game to kill to feed their families. The Utes on the reservation also found it difficult to keep body and soul fed, so they, too, had to hunt. In the fall of 1891 and continuing for the next six years, the Craig Courier expressed disapproval of the annual Ute hunt and each year there were incidents of violence. Although the events are recorded as the Ute War of 1897, it wasn’t much of a war. That year the new game warden, G. W. Wilcox, announced he would remove the Ute hunting parties from Routt County. With a small force, he marched into the lower country. He was probably in the Sand Wash when he happened upon an Indian camp of women and four old men. The main body of Indians was out hunting. For an unexplained reason, Wilcox decided to arrest one of the men. As the game warden was attempting to tie the old man on a horse, one woman cut the rope while a young woman hit Al Shaw over the head with a club. A fracas ensued; Deputy Miles Overholtz shot and killed the young woman. Overholtz’s shot excited the other deputies who drew their guns and began shooting. In the chaos that followed, two women and a man were killed before the Utes escaped. Fearing for their lives once the main body of warriors learned of the killings, Wilcox and his men retreated to Thompson’s Ranch in Browns Park. From there they reported the Indians were on a general uprising and determined to massacre everyone. The report caused wide spread panic. More than a hundred miles away at Yampa, people rushed to defend themselves. At least one family and maybe more went over the divide to Hot Sulphur Springs. People hurried to Lay and stayed for two weeks. Others fortified themselves on the Vaughn Ranch at Sunbeam. Before thanking them for their hospitality and leaving, they ate nearly all the Vaughn family’s winter food supplies. During the excitement, three cowboys at Cross Mountain were fired at, but no one was hit. However, the shooting caused two of the horses to buck off their riders. The cowboys quickly found cover, but the Indians simply rode off leaving the men afoot. The third man wasted no time in his flight.

Sheep Raid, Colorado Shortly, Routt County Sheriff Charley Neiman learned of the fighting and assembled a suitable posse of men from Steamboat Springs, Hayden, and Craig. They rode west looking for Utes hell-bent on scalping every white person. Captain Wright at Fort Duchesne also received word of a large war party and he marched toward the war zone. On arriving, both forces found only a barren but peaceful emptiness. The Utes had quietly buried the dead and peacefully withdrew to the reservation. In 1903, the Steamboat Pilot alerted county residents to the Indian danger. It was reported a hostile band was on Douglas Pass south of Rangley slaughtering game animals. The Army from Fort Duchesne and the Indian police found only a small hunting party that quietly returned to the reservation. Apparently that was the last year a Ute hunting party came to northwestern Colorado. By then wildlife herds were decimated and very little was left to hunt. As Sheriff Neiman led his posse in search of the Ute hunting party, northwest Colorado was embarking on another chapter of the seemingly endless struggle to get that last blade of grass. In the late fall of 1897, reports came from southern Wyoming that Jack Edwards had assembled 40,000 sheep and was preparing to invade Routt County. This was not the first time Edwards sent a bolt of concern through the region. He was a proven aggressive operator. The vast majority of sheep ranches were relatively small and peaceful operations. Others were known as “Range Pirates” or “Free Riders.” They followed the “grass” without regard to the rights or needs of others – either sheep or cattle ranchers. Edwards drove thousands of sheep. The bands were trailed as close together as range conditions would allow. They left a desolate range in their wake. In Wyoming where there were smaller bands of sheep, Edwards added them to his herd. It was also known that Edwards was feeling heavy pressure from Tim Kinney who ran sheep south of Rock Springs, Wyoming. Kinney put upwards of 75,000 head of sheep on the range Edwards claimed. At the Kansas City Stockyards, Edwards told a reporter he hired 30 to 40 well-armed men who traveled with his flocks.

In the fall of 1897, it was rumored that Edwards intended to ship his lambs over the Denver & Rio Grande from Wolcott, Colorado. Once the herds reached Wolcott, the lambs would be separated and shipped while the ewes slowly grazed their way back to winter feed. Not wanting to return all the way to Wyoming, Edwards’ agents were buying hay in the Steamboat- Hayden region. In the spring, the sheep would be lambing out somewhere near Craig and summer in California Park. The plan posed a serious threat to Yampa Valley ranchers. Responding, the Stock Feeders Association of Routt County called an emergency meeting at Craig. Men in wagons and on horseback, men with homesteads, and men with large herds of cattle traveled as far away as from Eagle to attend the meeting. L. L. Wilson from Yampa chaired the gathering. The Association asked the state Veterinary Commission to inspect the sheep. J. S. Hoy, a known enemy of Edwards, inspected 22,000 sheep and reported he did not find a single tick and they were all healthy. (Learning of the planned inspection, Edwards removed all the unacceptable animals and drove them elsewhere.) State Veterinarian Dr. Greswell granted Edwards the right to drive his sheep across Routt County. The Association met the crisis by passing a series of resolutions that resembled the Declaration of Independence and they prepared for a full-scale war. Ranchers who had agreed to sell hay to Edwards at a premium price quickly learned the price of selling was even higher and would hurt a lot more. Not willing to experience the pain, the hay contracts were hastily canceled. Before things got out of hand, Mother Nature intervened by sending a blizzard across southern Wyoming. Edwards’ sheep were being held on a heavily over grazed range and several thousand animals were winter killed. The disaster forced the rivals to postpone the battle until another season.

Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths pure theater. - Gail Godwin


September 2015

Valley Voice

Your One Stop Shop Gas, Grass and Tacos… Only at Taco Cabo

846-2307 The Yampa River IS NOT a free flowing river.

in downtown Yampa


Routt County Disasters

Free Lunch to Nirvana By Lyn Wheaton

On my knees with belly and forehead glued to the wood floor of the old temple, I bow in reverence. Tortured I suffer silently, crying uncontrollably, while others moan in ecstasy. A woman with a bold voice chants a mantra that is familiar to me: “Hare Krishna, Hare Om” Throughout this calming yet powerful song, the guru preaches the importance of mental housekeeping. Where am I? What happened? A moment ago I was euphoric, on my feet with the rest of the gathering, dancing. I wondered if I was at a Grateful Dead concert. This eclectic flock in their bohemian garb would certainly suggest that. Did I accidently drink from that batch of electric Screwdrivers again? Only time will tell. The conductor galvanizes the crowd into a fervency of incantations. We wave our arms and repeat mantras in a language that is familiar but not yet fluent. With eyes closed, the followers gyrate in serious devotion as if possessed by a soulful sprit. The woman sings and plays an instrument behind the charismatic unfaltering luminary preaching love, wisdom, and community. The singer’s enchanting rich timbre mesmerizes me. The leader instructs us to go to our knees, and with arms outstretched, place our heads on the floor. Voluntarily some rise to massage those on the floor. It’s all a blur. I don’t think this is a Dead show, it’s possible Jerry’s holding a large scale Electric Kool-Aid Test… but doubtful. I have to retrace my steps.

We’ve Moved to Central Park Plaza! y Health , s t Pe Happy s! Wallet

Scarecrows waving to the Peloton on 20 mile road during the 2015 Pro Challenge.



970-871-8500 For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

The last thing I remember is traveling by bus from Denver to Boulder. It’s 1978 and I have a sociology term paper due. I’m psyched. I love sociology and my idea is rad. I will investigate the mindset behind joining a cult. Cults have sprung up everywhere and I know exactly where to find the Hare Krishna’s. Every time I go to Pearl Street they’re there with a little table full of flowers and brochures. They love pamphlets. How do people get so far off track that they will shave their heads, leaving only a strand of braided hair hanging down, so Krishna can lift them to heaven? And how bad do things have to be before you want to stand on Pearl Street or worse, go to the airport, and chase people down to shove roses and paperwork at them? Today’s mission -- get the answers to these questions. The sound of chanting accompanied by tambourines serves as an auditory guidepost. Vacant eyes, clad in white robes, sway side to side like a metronome. I approach the flock and ask for a tour of their temple under the guise of possibly joining. Always eager for prospects, the head Hare invites me to lunch with them on Friday. Back at DU, less enthused than I about the offer, my boyfriend, Derv, freaks out. “That’s crazy, we can’t go.” He said, “They’ll brainwash us and we’ll never get out.” I said, “No they won’t. You have to be certain type of person to join a cult.” My thesis was just that. Not everyone can be converted. Radical extremism in all forms preys on the vulnerable. It’s a crutch for the desperate. Religion,

Valley Voice

communal living, or any convincing formula where some sort of salvation or pain-free existence is promised, typically lures the disaffected and aggrieved. For those that have lost their way groupthink is empowering, it validates things we all want to believe, but are largely unknown. I said to Derv, “Besides, they can’t brainwash us in one lunch.” He said, “Oh yes they can. They can drug us.” He was terrified. Why was I dating this wuss anyway? These kinds of guys were not usually my type. I said, “Well, I’m going with or without you.” It occurred to me he might be just the type that could get recruited and maybe I should leave him behind. Protesting all the while, he decided to come along anyway. Holy spiked lunch! He was right. That must be what happened. I have to get out of here. Where is he? Why am I alone? Did he escape? I’m definitely in the Temple, duh; we’re chanting Hare Krishna. As soon as this gathering is done, I’ll scope out the joint and plan my escape. I have a thirty-page paper to write. How many days have I been here? I need to do some quick research, then find a way to bust out. I am alone. That must be why I’m crying. I never expected you’d feel lonely in a cult. A girl taps my hand and silently asks permission to touch me. I smile affirmatively. She massages my shoulders. Smoldering sage ignites the air. The moaning reaches a climax. We end the session by joining hands in a circle and performing a trance ritual, screaming mantras to the beat of a drum for a primal release. The guy holding my hand trembles. I want to let go but feel compelled to hold on. An ethereal creature adorned in flowing white clothing beckons. She guides me to the floor with the rest of the pod people where we receive facials and massage. In a hypnotic state I listen as sounds of laughter, song, and chatter ring out from the bustling bazaar area of our temple. And I realize there is nothing restrictive at all about life inside our cult. The perception of the outside world is all-wrong; we’re totally free and living like kings.

September 2015


Moka is the new Green! Addicted, I crave another drink. I gorge myself on cacao butter with Himalayan sea salt and protein drinks. This food, the best food I ever tasted, has virtually no calories. This kind of thing just doesn’t happen on earth. Ah Ha. Maybe I died. Maybe I’m in Heaven? I know I must start planning my exit before my parents discover me missing and notify the FBI. Also, if I don’t turn in this paper I will flunk out of DU, and my life will be ruined. Torn between two worlds, I’m not ready to leave just yet. I need a few more days– maybe there is more my investigation hasn’t uncovered.

recycled, unbleached, North America sourced toilet paper

970 .879 .5717

2570 South Copper Frontage

Suddenly my phone rings. Wait, what? My phone? We don’t have these yet? Maybe that Scientology guy was right, the time concept is very complicated. I track him down and ask, “Why do I have this?” He says, “Everyone has them.” Stunned, I ask, “What year is it?” “We have to leave now.” He tells me. Taken aback I say, “What do you mean we have to leave?” “It’s over.” He replies, “We have to go.” I’m so confused, “What do you mean the cult’s over? Did the government come? I don’t want to leave.” He shakes his head sympathetically, “This is not a cult. It’s 2014 and we’re at a Yoga Festival.”

Beer of the Month:

New Belgium Next to ACE Hardware in Curve Plaza

I needed a minute; I heard this could happen, I’d been warned. You can become so enlightened that you levitate and shape shift. I’m sure that’s what happened.


Thursday - Saturday: 10am - 11pm Sunday - Wednesday: 10am - 10pm

I don’t bowl often,

After my treatment I try to pay, but it’s clear money is not necessary here. I am reminded I have a job as well, a contribution. I remember as if it were implanted in my head. I must go greet people at the Yoga room and make sure they remove their shoes before entering. That’s all I have to do to earn my keep. I peruse the vast selection of food and drink another member offers and try a live plant protein drink. I am energized by its richness. He gives me another to take to my post. On my way I meet a guy who had been a cult member his entire life. He had been both a Hare Krishna and a Scientologist. I asked him why he left Scientology. He told me he didn’t have enough money to finish going up the bridge, besides he had been a Hare Krishna most of his life, so it didn’t really matter to him. He showed me a machine he had gotten from Scientology and asked me if I wanted to be audited. He said his E-meter would clear me of all the limitations caused by the reactive mind. I said that sounds like Buddhism and he told me “Ron” was Buddha in another life, and I said that explains things. Unlike me, some of the people here are a little strange. Oh well, live and let live.

But when I do, I bowl Dollar Night at Snowbowl.

Snow Bowl


737 Lincoln Steamboat Springs, Colorado 970-871-4510

Join the Breakfast Club! Open Daily 8am – 7pm

Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world. -Nelson Mandela


September 2015

Valley Voice

The Wandering Rose

All Arts! Audrey Rose - All Arts! This story was composed of 40 words and sentences kindly donated by people on the streets of Steamboat Springs for the All Arts Festival. Audrey Rose woke up and greeted the morning by shouting, “Steamboat in the summer is bliss! I love flowers!” She had slept in a field of wild colors; fire and ice coloring petals, green, so green, sprouting up from the ground. As she stretched, she picked out a flower and offered it a soft kiss. Across the raging river, she saw a group of lightning bugs playing in the strawberry patch. Their glow only appeared to fade as the sun burned brighter. People call other people “bright,” and they mean smart, but those people aren’t bright; bright is the sun on the water at noon and on the leaves on an August afternoon.

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Stretching her legs she hopped, skipped and jumped her way to Fish Creek falls for a shower where she watched a family ride bikes and climb over rocks. There was something so carefree in the way the little boy played, the way his grandparents watched their grandkids achieving, that Audrey Rose splashed into the water, threw it up in the air and laughed as it fell down upon her. Then she realized all she wanted was a piece of cake. Her grandmother always said, “Keep life simple be happy,” so Audrey walked to Mountain Brew where she performed a yin-yang Irish jig for a half dozen cupcakes, which began immediately disappearing into her belly. A young man watched her longingly, so she asked him what his story was. “I got kicked out of WalMart,” he said and he looked like he regretted whatever had happened so she handed him a cupcake. “Thanks,” he said. “Try being honest next time,” Audrey Rose suggested. “I heard honesty is lonely but I just never experienced being honest, so I can’t speak to that,” he said. “I don’t really want to be lonely.” Audrey Rose hugged him. “Love is all you need,” she replied as she danced off under rays of gold.

Audrey Rose. Raspberries from below filled her pockets and she fed them one by one to the captain as others in the group gathered around. The captain motioned to a man standing off by himself. “Tom Cruel, the long-lost brother of Tom Cruise was an elephant hunter,” he said. The man nodded. “Tom Cruise is indeed my brother, but I will never tell him.” “Why not?” asked Audrey Rose. “Because one must create one’s self image to understand the world,” said the man.

The streets of Lincoln were full of people. A policeman walked down the street with bags under her eyes, Never again be a police officer, she mumbled to herself as a tear slid out from under her sunglasses. As they passed on the street, Audrey Rose reached out and squeezed her hand trying to show her how caring most of the world was. Audrey caught the insignificantly sized splatter of blood on the policewoman’s shoe. Then she saw a beautiful lady on the sidewalk passing out words and a feisty little puppy with a big, fluffy tail who couldn’t help himself so he jumped on every person he saw, wanting to curl up in their arms like a puppy much smaller than he would ever be. A woman passing by whispered to her boyfriend, “The cute puppy stole my heart with his big, black eyes,” and the boyfriend knew he would buy the woman a puppy that very day. The puppy broke free from its owner and bounded toward a house where the kitten slept in the sunniest spot on the patio. Interrupted by kisses of slobber, the kitten stretched, rolled over and fell back asleep. Here and now, peace, Audrey Rose thought.

“Tattoo, tankinie, two timing, taco sandwiches and twinkies are too taboo for you too,” shrieked the captain. “He has altitude sickness, we need to get him down in elevation,” said Audrey. “Sometimes taboo isn’t,” said the man in the purple and red checked scarf. They helped the captain up and put their arms around him. “Lots of issues cause controversy, but a bit of good will goes a long way toward making things better,” said Tom Cruel.

She became contemplative, thoughtful of how easily other’s experiences affect us daily so she turned to the mountains. Through Mad Creek she wound where a woman and her kids picking wildflowers exclaimed, “We want to move here!” Audrey Rose smiled and continued past them into the Zirkel Wilderness, farther away from farther way. She climbed until the grass turned to rock and the sky stretched out below her. She pulled her knees into her chest and inhaled. She rested her head on her knees and dozed. “My socks don’t fit very well,” she heard someone call out. Raising her head, she saw a group headed her way. As the captain neared the summit the agony of the long climb began to take its toll. “A huge wave of sadness overcame me as I was walking up the stairs,” said the captain. “Those were rocks, not stairs, but sit a minute and let me feed you,” said

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“Does anyone have water for this man?” asked Audrey Rose of the captain whose head hung between his knees. “The grapes are ripe for picking,” said the captain of the berries Audrey was feeding him. She just nodded. “Where did you all come from?” Audrey asked. “Columbia,” said another man who had a purple and red checked scarf wrapped around his neck. He scribbled in a notebook that he produced from his pocket. “Beautiful!” he said. Each time Audrey Rose spoke he scribbled in his book. “Thank you for offering to have me help with your book,” said the captain although no one had offered him anything.

Audrey wandered down with them. As they were descending, the captain whispered, “Did you hear what that bird said?” “What?” asked Audrey. “Cancer. The bird squawked Cancer. Cancer. Cancer. The world is unraveling and the conspiracy becoming clear,” “Yes, conspiracy,” said the man with the scarf. “And then what happened?” he asked. “Then the people who had been oppressed were empowered when the evil ruler was killed.” “Ahhh,” nodded the man with the scarf. When they were down safely the captain began to gain his senses once more. He hugged Audrey Rose as they prepared to part. “When last I was to transform I felt a loss in my soul,” he said. Audrey held him tighter. “Love,” she said. “What is that?” he asked. “I honestly don’t know,” he said shaking his head as he walked away.

The day was fading, the blues darkening and shadows lengthening. An unimaginable day, thought Audrey Rose. She began the long walk home to her field of flowers wrapped in the silent sounds of dusk. That night, she crawled into the earth and sought out the flower she kissed that morning. The flower was delicate but it lasted while she was away. Beautiful! Colorado is truly beautiful! Amazing and breathtaking! Audrey Rose called up to the rising moon as stars fell around her.

Valley Voice

September 2015

Mister Helpful’s Dating Guide

NOW is the time to find a great Date


It’s all about your Happiness

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By Mr. Helpful, M.D.

September and October is a fantastic time of year to find a wonderful person who will think you are cute and funny. Something in the air of the Fall season brings out the yummy in all of us. Layers in the morning, put them back on at night. But during the day it’s shed it and expose it. Still time in the year to share some of “what we got” and help make the “I’ll have some of that” decisions a little easier.

After all as Americans we spent 12 or 16 years of our lives “starting over” and “going to the next grade up” right around now. So it’s in our seasonal mood swing to be finding something and someone to Be the Next New Something to Do! Now is a wonderful time to go ride a new trail, hike in a different area; meet different folks at a party of you only knowing one other person. Ever been to a drumming circle? Do It. Gone to a class up at the college? Head over and see who’s around. There are restaurants you haven’t been to yet. There are businesses you haven’t gone into yet. Bars you left at 9 and others you stayed until 12. Well why not reverse that and see who you run ninto. NEW THINGS!! These encouragements are here for a reason. Trust me, pumpkin. We all have a solid two and half months of getting out there...until … Dating During the Holidays Worst Idea in the World: Ferget it!!! Unless you hooked up with someone you really like prior to Dec 1st, it’s not gonna happen. AND if you get so lucky that you actually do make eye contact with someone and trick them into thinking that they should let you see them naked before the holidays; count your blessings. I hope my editor let’s that really long sentence stand as is. But WHY, Mr. Helpful, why should I just be single and live with it during the holiday season?!?

Because of scheduling. If you are over 30 then the responsibilities of having already made plans to go and do a thing are already set in stone. Family, friends and/or work obligations have both of you tied to a schedule that will make both of you nuts trying to find the time for each other. So let go and relax. Don’t even try to get them out of .going to that thing. Are you completely out of your mind? Did you say YES to them and go to their planned party? How was that night of being under the microscope? Good for you, pumpkin, I’m glad you survived. Not everyone is cut out to be so brave. Well you still have New Year’s left. Hope is still bouncing around in your head/heart. So good luck. Being asked out for a New Year’s party has a 50/50 chance. Finding a play friend AT a NYs party is about 5%.


Buy them a present?!? Are you insane?? If you shoot low (cost/sincerity) and their totally into you – you lose. If you shoot too high on a gift and they aren’t really into you, you might as well have just given them the cash and said good night.

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Just wait until Jan 2. Go to the gym and start up conversation with the nice looking “needs to get into shape just as much as you do” person on the treadmill next to you. The New Year is your best bet to find a Date who is also looking. The holidays are over then, so is the drama and schedules are wide open for opportunity. Have some patience and Happy Holidays.

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Go fer It!!! Everyone is desperate for happiness, but more important and likely is that they want to Share their happiness with someone. Being alone through the holidays sucks; so why not just get out of the house and risk everything and meet a new friend. If you trust them enough to let them see you naked, then maybe think about inviting them to tag along to a holiday party. There is inherent risk in all things. So break out of your shell and see where you end up if you try something new.

Sept. 5th-12th





If you get invited to a holiday party – GO. Be your charming fun self and win the hearts and friendships of your Date’s friends and family. At the end of the night your date will simply check off the box that says Keeper. Well done my friend, well done.







New Years? Of course. If you can find a neutral location that you both can agree on to end up at the top of the hour, then everyone wins. But yer the smarty pants of the pair. Plan on where to escape to at 12:05, beat the crowd and be with your Date and only your Date for some, one on one time. Start the New Year off with bells and whistles and a healthy fun Date. End the evening in the manner of your choice. Never be pushed into a situation or tied up in a manner that you are uncomfortable; unless you’re into that kind of a thing.





Next Month - Why Dating someone who has birds is SPACE the worst decision of the century. Two words - QUEEN Bleeding Nipples.


If you have any specific questions orSPACE feedback QUEEN you can contact this publication or head on over to Mister Helpful’s Dating Guide on Facebook, hit the LIKE button and read other Dating subjects from thisSPACE column. QUEEN








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Education is not preparation for life; education is life itself. -John Dewey


September 2015

Valley Voice

Local Honey helps with Spring Allergies

Steamboat Orchestra

A River Runs Through It By Dagny McKinley


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When Norman Mclean wrote his book, A River Runs Through It, he touched on a universal truth. Each community that is settled around a river carves out its existence from the river just as the river carves out an existence from the earth. In Steamboat the Yampa fills our cups, offers banks to fish from, plays for us the symphony of the rush and then trickle of waters and cools us on hot summer days. In September, the Steamboat Symphony Orchestra (SSO) will honor the Yampa with A River Runs Through It. Photography, sound and community will come together within the confluence of this concert. The town of Steamboat Springs is invited to hear Ernest Richardson conduct this celebration featuring violinist Anna Roder, who trained with the SSO in her early years, along with stunning photographs from John Fielder’s latest book Colorado’s Yampa River. The concert was a natural fit for Ernest Richardson, conductor of the SSO and resident conductor at the Omaha Symphony. “This concert will present symphonic gems and new works from popular movie soundtracks,” said Richardson. The musical selection parallels the power, beauty, intricacies and calmness of the Yampa. Selections include Beethoven: Symphony No.6, op. 68, F Major (Pastorale), Powell: Suite for the Ice Age: The Meltdown and Williams: ET Suite.

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

“The third movement of American composer, Howard Hanson’s Symphony #2 is the symphony’s finale… an amazing ta-da!,” said Richardson. “The music captures the Yampa at its most dramatic levels and currents, as well as in the intimacy of its pastoral meanders.” Richardson calls the Yampa River his home water. “Allowing myself to be possessed, the river shapes me by its currents, its meanders and its smalls scale revelations that seem to morph into epiphanies as I peer into its depths,” he said. Due to one of those epiphanies, Richardson is bringing home violinist Anna Roder as the soloist in the violin concerto by Johannes Brahms. “Anna found her voice as an artist in Steamboat and returns to its source for this concert,” said Richardson. “Anna is to music what the medalists that have trained in Steamboat are to the Olympics,” said Richardson. Roder started playing violin at 3 years old but it wasn’t until she auditioned for the Denver Young Artists Orchestra that she realized she couldn’t imagine any other life for herself. Gone was the dream of being a veterinarian replaced by the dream of playing professionally. She is currently working towards her Master’s Degree in Violin Performance at Guildhall School of Music and Drama in London, England. As for the transition from living in Steamboat to living in London, at first Roder thought the city might be intimidating but the architecture, atmosphere and people have made London one of her favorite places on earth. A highlight

Valley Voice

September 2015


of her time there was playing Walton’s First Symphony A River Runs Through It will combine orchestral music with the London Symphony Orchestra under conducwith projected still images. “I find something magical tor Simon Rattle for their season finale concert. They when sights and sounds coalesce,” said Richardson. played at the Barbican to a full house, which was a “This is a reversal of roles when compared to creatmagical and amazing experience for Roder. As for A ing music to amplify a movie through its soundtrack. River Runs Through It, Roder feels immensely honored The resulting experience is a hybrid, a new creation and grateful to be invited home and to be able to play that, at its best, is greater than the sum of its impresBrahms with the SSO. She loves coming back, playing sive parts. Imagine the photographer’s world. Time is with the people who shaped her younger musical self frozen in light. He or she can direct our eyes through and sharing music with the composition of the imfriends. Anna’s downtime age, but the time spent in is filled with reading (she entirely in KBCR logo (new, saved) with the following text below andobservation a photo ofis Brad Paisley (saved) loves the Honorverse the control of the observer. 905 Weiss Drive - across HWY 40 from the Holiday Inn Books by David Weber), Conversely, music, whose Dr. Who and superheroes, canvas is time, is created by mainly the MarvelWhere charac- the Legends play and the New Stars Shine the composer, to be realized ters. Anna has no reservaby performers, and encountions about indulging in tered by the audience in her passions. Her advice real time. The composer is for those who are afraid to not there to point out any follow their dreams is Just particular moment. The opDo It, as the Nike slogan portunity to say, “listen to says. The reason she took this”, is usually subsumed the plunge to try to become in the space/time continua professional musician um. The emotional impact was because she didn’t of the sounds is almost want to end up later in life entirely in the domain of regretting she hadn’t taken the listener. John’s role is the risk. As she says, “having a passion, something you as a choreographer/dancer/visual storyteller. John will love to do makes life better, so why not do it?” create what amounts to a film in his imagination and will be at the performance controlling how the music Someone who has made a career of pursuing his pasand the images will fit together. In this collaboration, sions of photography and nature is John Fielder. His dethe orchestra and I are free to play the music as we votion to the Yampa and its future is the subject of his feel it in the moment. John will coordinate his images latest book, Colorado’s Yampa River: Free Flowing and in relation to what he hears. Unlike a movie that has a Wild From the Flat Tops to the Green. During Fielder’s fixed timeline, John becomes a soloist within the musi33-year career as a nature photographer, he has influcal environment we create. The beauty of this experienced people and legislation including receiving the ence is that neither of us could accomplish this without Sierra Club’s Ansel Adams Award in 1993 and in 2011, the other—it is a confluence of interdependence,” said the Aldo Leopold Foundation’s first Achievement Award Richardson. given to an individual. This book, the most recent of over 40 books which have been published depicting his At the concert, Fielder will be present to sign copies photography, showcases scenic, historical and then & of his book with a percentage of the proceeds going now photographs. to Friends of the Yampa. While in town, Fielder will be visiting schools to offer presentations and educational The Yampa River of northwest Colorado is considered outreach. Fielder will also be hosting a Photography the last major free-flowing river in the seven state ColoWorkshop Along the Yampa River, September 12 and rado River Basin. It cascades for 249 miles from high 13th from 7:00 a.m. - 11 a.m. Participants will spend in the Rocky Mountains near Steamboat Springs and four hours on the banks of the Yampa River in search descends over 6,000 feet from alpine tundra to parched of Sandhill Cranes and scenic images. Fielder will desert. Bisecting local, state and national parks, and share his compositions as he critiques yours. There at times enclosed in a 2,500 ft. deep canyon, it morphs is a 16 person maximum for his workshop. The cost from a cold trout stream to a warm water haven for is $150.00 per person. Any digital camera, point and endangered fish, evolving from placid meanders into fashoot or SLR is appropriate but longer lenses will be mous whitewater rapids. The book includes discourse of necessary for wildlife photography. Yampa’s human, natural and political history, which is *For information on John Fielder’s photography workrelevant at a time when the State of Colorado is considering building billion dollar pipelines to transport the shop visit waters of the Yampa and Green rivers to Denver and * For ticket information, including season, individual neighboring towns in order to allocate water resources and VIP experiences, go to Startto municipalities with limited water resources. Some ing August 18, tickets can be purchased at stringsof the water would be diverted to oil and gas development. The Yampa is a result of 30 million years of Tickets start at $20 with “early geological processes, which could be adversely affected bird” prices, until September 1. A unique VIP experiby one person’s signing of a law. Patrick Tierney, Ph.D., ence is available for purchase with prime concert licensed whitewater guide, National Park Service river seating, plus an exclusive preview encounter of the phoranger, nature guide, rafting outfitter, director of the tography and discussion of the concert with Mr. Fielder nonprofit Yampa River Awareness Project, teacher and and Ernest Richardson. researcher narrates the book.


Where the Legends play and the New Stars Shine

The roots of education are bitter, but the fruit is sweet. –Aristotle


September 2015

Valley Voice

Calendar of Events TUESDAY SEPTEMBER 1 All Month @ Bud Werner Memorial Library presents the 2015 One Book Steamboat community read, featuring Pulitzer Prize winning author Harper Lee’s much anticipated second novel, “Go Set a Watchman.” The library has extra copies of this sequel to the American classic, “To Kill Mockingbird,” available for checkout, and will be hosting discussions and events surrounding “Go Set a Watchman” throughout the fall. FREE. Drop off date for Labor Day Art Show Oak Creek Town Hall Work must be presented by Artist Special Duo Show 8PM @ Schmiggity’s Dave Simonette & Dave Carroll with Barbara Jean & Molly Dean $15 WEDNESDAY SEPT. 2 Drop off date for Labor Day Art Show Oak Creek Town Hall Work must be presented by Artist Town Challenge Mountain Bike Series 5:30PM @ Mt. Werner Sunshine Loop XC www. Bud Werner Memorial Library presents the Free Foreign Film Series 7PM @ The Chief Theater “The Chambermaid” a steamy, award winning film from Germany. Directed by Ingo Haeb. Cash bar opens at 6:30. FREE. Play Along With Pat 9PM @ Schmiggity’s Open stage jam hosted by Pat Waters FREE THURSDAY SEPTEMBER 3 Downtown Historical Walking Tour 9AM @ Tread of Pioneers Museum Highlights historic buildings of downtown Steamboat Springs. FREE. Fish Creek Falls Hike 10AM @ Fish Creek Falls upper parking lot

To submit your events or calendar information e-mail: Events may be edited for length or content. Calendar entries must be received by the 15th of each month.

Drop off date for Labor Day Art Show Oak Creek Town Hall Work must be presented by Artist Beer Run 6:15PM @ Twisted Trails Running Compay Megan Burtt Band 10PM @ Schmiggity’s FREE. FRIDAY SEPTEMBER 4 Sidewalk Sale 9AM @ Downtown Steamboat Awaken with Chopra Center Yoga 9:30AM @ Yoga Center of Steamboat Followed by all-levels yoga. Chopra instructor Patty Zimmer zimmer@springsips. com 970-846-5608 Tread of Pioneers Museum Brown Bag Lecture Series Noon @ United Methodist Church Semotan Family Yarns & Quarter Horse Foundation History. Presented by Jo Semotan. FREE. www. First Friday Art Walk 5PM @ various locations downtown Steamboat FREE Annual Labor Day Art Show Opening Reception 6PM @ Oak Creek Town Hall Super Fun Steamboat Show 8PM @ The Chief Theater Steamboat’s newest variety show – comedy, music, Improv, game shows & more! Adult content. Tickets are $10 @ Shoe Chalet or www. Policulture 10PM @ Schmiggity’s FREE. SATURDAY SEPTEMBER 5 Farmer’s Market 9AM @ 7th & Yampa More than 75 vendors, including food, arts and crafts Sidewalk Sale 9AM @ Downtown Steamboat Wild West Air Fest 9AM @ Steamboat Airport The 11th Annual Wild West Air Fest provides a unique variety of family fun activities. $10 adult/$5 youth/$15 weekend

Paddleboard Yoga 9:30AM @ Fetcher Pond Steamboat Paddleboard Adventures Fish Creek Falls Hike 10AM @ Fish Creek Falls upper parking lot Steamboat Stage Race Noon @ various locations Racers compete in 3 days of road racing $15 early registration Stand Up Comedy 8PM @ The Chief Theater Comedians from Comedy Works in Denver, also featuring a local opening act! Tickets $10 @ Shoe Chalet or Bill Smith 10PM @ Schmiggity’s FREE. SUNDAY SEPTEMBER 6 Sidewalk Sale 9AM @ Downtown Steamboat

road racing $15 early registration The Giddy-up Film Tour 7PM @ The Chief Theater Bike film. Doors & bar @ 6PM. Tickets $15 @ Shoe Chalet or www.cheaftheater. com. www.giddyup-films. com/ Bull Bash 5PM @ Brent Romick Arena Top professional bull riders do their thing! 970-879-0880 Jamie Wolfe & The Wranglers 9PM @ Schmiggity’s FREE. MONDAY SEPTEMBER 7 Sidewalk Sale 9AM @ Downtown Steamboat Steamboat Stage Race Noon @ various locations Racers compete in 3 days of road racing $15 early registration

Wild West Air Fest 9AM @ Steamboat Airport The 11th Annual Wild West Air Fest provides a unique variety of family fun activities. $10 adult/$5 youth/$15 weekend


Outdoor Yoga 10AM @ Top of the Gondola $10 donation. 970-879-1522

Two-Step Tuesday (Country dancing) 7:30PM @ Schmiggity’s Free dance lessons (donations welcome) FREE

10k @ 10,000 ft 10AM @ Summit of old Rabbit Ears Pass Road One of the longest races in the Steamboat Springs Running Series 10k and 5k trail races on Rabbit Ears Pass. races/10k_10000ft.php Chili Challenge 11AM @ 7th & Yampa Streets Chili competitors in various categories. Live music, Beer and kids activities. www.mainstreetsteamboat. com Steamboat Stage Race Noon @ various locations Racers compete in 3 days of

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

Tuesday night 8-Ball League 6:30PM @ Steamboat Springs VFW Join or form a team for the fall session. (970) 734-4357

WEDNESDAY SEPT. 9 Young Professionals Network Breakfast Club 7AM @ The Egg and I FREE An Evening with Craig Johnson 6:30PM @ Library Hall Bud Werner Memorial Library presents an evening with Craig Johnson, the New York Times bestselling author of the Walt Longmire mysteries. FREE. www. Wednesday night 8-Ball League 6:30PM @ The Colorado in Oak Creek

Join or form a team for the fall session. (970) 734-4357 Play Along With Pat 9PM @ Schmiggity’s Open stage jam hosted by Pat Waters FREE THURSDAY SEPT. 10 Yampa Valley Photographers Club monthly meeting discussion on monochromatic color. For location and time check our fb page;Yampa Valley Photographers Club, yampavalleyphoto@yahoo. com or call 970 846 4577. “Winged Migration” 6:30PM @ Library Hall Bud Werner Memorial Library and the Yampa Valley Crane Festival present a screening of “Winged Migration,” the Academy Award winning Best Documentary about the amazing odysseys of migrating birds, in the northern hemisphere and then the south, species by species, flying over seas and continents. Come early to explore the educational crane displays outside Library Hall and see the Crane Coloring Contest award ceremony @ 6PM with prizes from Ciao Gelato. FREE. Thursday night 9-Ball League 6:30PM @ Steamboat Springs VFW Join or form a team for the fall session. (970) 734-4357 Beer Run 6:15PM @ Twisted Trails Running Compay Casual Run with beer at the end Sister Sparrow and the Dirty Birds 10PM @ Schmiggity’s $10 FRIDAY SEPTEMBER 11 Awaken with Chopra Center Yoga 9:30AM @ Yoga Center of Steamboat Followed by all-levels yoga. Chopra instructor Patty Zimmer zimmer@springsips. com 970-846-5608 Yampa Valley Crane Festival Guided Bird Walk 2:45PM @ Catamount Lake Parking Lot. FREE. Yard art cranes decorated by local artists on display for silent auction benefiting the

Yampa Valley Crane Festival 4PM @ Bud Werner Memorial Library lawn FREE. Yampa Valley Crane Festival Wine and Cheese Reception and Gallery Show 5PM @ The Depot Art Center with nature photographer John Fielder. Pre-registration required, Evening Family Crane Viewing with the Yampa Valley Crane Festival, Yampavian Ranch, pre-registration required, www.coloradocranes. org DraLa & DJ Steve 10PM @ Schmiggity’s FREE SATURDAY SEPT. 12 Guided Sunrise Crane Viewing 6:15AM With the Yampa Valley Crane Festival Pre-registration required for shuttle. Guided Bird Walk 8:30AM @ Nature Conservancy’s Yampa River Preserve in Hayden With the Yampa Valley Crane Festival. FREE Farmer’s Market 9AM @ 7th & Yampa More than 75 vendors, including food, arts and crafts Yampa Valley Crane Festival Photography Workshop 9AM @ Library Conference room With Gerhard Assenmacher and Abby Jensen. Pre-registration required. Mogil’s on the Mountain & Leica present an optics display for birders 10AM @ Bud Werner Memorial Library lawn. FREE. www.coloradocranes. org HawkQuest Live Raptors 10AM @ Library Lawn Bud Werner Memorial Library and the Yampa Valley Crane Festival present HawkQuest’s Live Raptors, a live bird experience for the Yampa Valley Crane Festival, from 10 a.m.-4 p.m. on the Bud Werner Memorial Library lawn. A live hawk, owl, falcon and eagle will be on display so bird enthusiasts of all ages can visit with and learn about these amazing

Valley Voice

birds of prey. FREE. www. Yampa Valley Crane Festival Nature Walk with Karen Vail, 10 a.m.-noon, pre-registration required, www. Yampa Valley Crane Festival Writer’s workshop 10:30AM @ Library Hall “Bird as Sign and Symbol: Writing a Nature Journal” with Ellen Bonnifield Pre-registration required, Children’s Crane Activity with the Yampa Valley Crane Festival 10:30AM @ Library Storytime Room Crane Costumes for kids age 5-8. FREE. Rubber Ducky Race 11AM @ 5th Street Bridge Race benefits Steamboat Springs VNA & Hospice Tickets $10 each. Race is followed by a Family friendly celebration at West Lincoln Park. rubberduckysteamboat.php Yampa Valley Crane Festival Crane Film Noon @ Library Hall “Cranes of the Rockies”. FREE. Psychic mini-readings with Lorre Buss Noon – 5PM @ Aspen Botanicals (Upstairs), 116 8th Street Lorre Buss offers spiritual guidance & tools for a more fulfilling life. $2.00/minute – 10 minute minimum Yard art cranes decorated by local artists on display for silent auction benefiting the Yampa Valley Crane Festival 1PM @ Bud Werner Memorial Library lawn FREE. www.coloradocranes. org “The Private Lives of Sandhill Cranes” 1:30PM @ Library Hall Yampa Valley Crane Festival Keynote Speaker Paul Tebbel, crane biologist and former director of the Rowe Sanctuary. Yampa Valley Crane Festival Talk 2:45 @ Library Hall “Bird Identification: Starting Over” followed by a book signing by Ted Floyd, field guide author and editor of

September 2015


Calendar of Events Birding Magazine FREE. Barbecue Dinner for the Yampa Valley Crane Festival 4:30PM @ Carpenter Ranch in Hayden Including a talk by The Nature Conservancy’s Chris Pague. B.Y.O. picnic or preregister for dinner, www. Guided Sunset Crane Viewing with the Yampa Valley Crane Festival 7PM Pre-registration required for shuttle, www.coloradocranes. org Symphony Orchestra Opening Concert 7PM @ Strings Music Pavilion “A River Runs Through It” www.steamboatorchestra. org/concerts.php Brian Smith Band 9PM @ Schmiggity’s FREE SUNDAY SEPTEMBER 13 Guided Sunrise Crane Viewing with the Yampa Valley Crane Festival 6:15AM Pre-registration required for shuttle, www.coloradocranes. org

Memorial Library Storytime Room Ages 7-10. FREE. www. Historic Carpenter Ranch Building Tour with the Yampa Valley Crane Festival 10:30AM – noon HawkQuest Live Raptors 10:30A @ Library Lawn Bud Werner Memorial Library and the Yampa Valley Crane Festival present HawkQuest’s Live Raptors, a live bird experience for the Yampa Valley Crane Festival. A live hawk, owl, falcon and eagle will be on display so bird enthusiasts of all ages can visit with and learn about these amazing birds of prey. FREE. John Fielder’s Gallery Show 11AM @ The Depot Art Center For the Yampa Valley Crane Festival. FREE. Yard art cranes decorated by local artists on display for silent auction benefiting the Yampa Valley Crane Festival 12:45PM @ Bud Werner Memorial Library lawn FREE. www.coloradocranes. org

Guided Bird Walk 8:30AM @ Carpenter Ranch. FREE Yampa Valley Crane Festival,

“A Fledge for Freedom” 1PM @ Library Hall Screening of documentary film for Yampa Valley Crane Festival. FREE.

Yampa Valley Crane Festival’s Dutch Treat Coffee 8AM @ Wild Goose Coffee at the Granary

Yampa Valley Crane Festival photo contest award ceremony 2:15PM @ Library Hall

Yampa Valley Crane Festival Ranch Tour, a crane-friendly ag operation 9-10:30AM Pre-registration required,

Birds of Prey community talk 2:30PM @ Library Hall Bud Werner Memorial Library and the Yampa Valley Crane Festival present “Birds of Prey,” a community talk for bird enthusiasts age 8 and up by HawkQuest founder Kin Quitugua about the importance of different raptor species, their specially-adapted tools, and their role in our ecosystems, at 2:30 p.m. in Library Hall. Observe the unique tools of the owl, the incredible talons and six-foot wingspan of the eagle, the aerodynamic features of the falcon, and the precision flying of the hawk. FREE. Ages 8 and up only, please.

Sketch-A-Bird Class 9AM @ Library Hall With Chula Bearegard using HawkQuest’s live birds and taxidermy cranes for the Yampa Valley Crane Festival. FREE. www.coloradocranes. org Birding by Pontoon Boat with the Yampa Valley Crane Festival 9AM @ Stagecoach Reservoir One-hour tours. Pre-registration required. Crane Code Writing 10:30AM @ Bud Werner

Yampa Valley Crane Festival Crane Film 4:15PM @ Library Hall “Raising Kid Colt” FREE Sunset Happy Hour 5PM @ Thunderhead Lodge Drinks, apps. and sunset viewing $12 includes Gondola ride Symphony Orchestra Opening Concert 7PM @ Strings Music Pavilion “A River Runs Through It” www.steamboatorchestra. org/concerts.php MONDAY SEPTEMBER 14 Guided Sunrise Crane Viewing with the Yampa Valley Crane Festival 6:15AM Pre-registration required for shuttle, www.coloradocranes. org Crane-themed Little Crafters Storytime for the Yampa Valley Crane Festival 10:30AM @ Bud Werner Memorial Library Pre-school age children. events Yampa Valley Crane Festival Talk “Yampa Valley Cranes” Noon @ Library Hall Featuring crane biologist Van Graham. FREE. www. Yampa Valley Crane Festival Crane Film 1:30 @ Library Hall “Cranes of the Rockies” FREE Guided Sunset Crane Viewing with the Yampa Valley Crane Festival 6:00PM Pre-registration required for shuttle, www.coloradocranes. org TUESDAY SEPTEMBER 15 “The Vast Unknown” 6:30PM @ Library Hall Bud Werner Memorial Library presents an evening with bestselling author Broughton Coburn and mountaineer Dick Pownall discussing the first American ascent on Mount Everest in 1963. Coburn’s book, “The Vast Unknown,” features stories and photos that provide a riveting chronicle of the first American expedition to Mount. Everest, having interviewed nine of the 21 members of the team who were still alive when he started his book project. He will be joined on stage

by Dick Pownall, one of the mountaineers who helped lead the 1963 summit, for a first-hand account of the expedition and Q&A. FREE. events Tuesday night 8-Ball League 6:30PM @ Steamboat Springs VFW Join or form a team for the fall session. (970) 734-4357 Two-Step Tuesday (Country dancing) 7:30PM @ Schmiggity’s Free dance lessons (donations welcome) FREE WEDNESDAY SEPT. 16 “To Kill a Mockingbird” 6:30PM @ Library Hall Bud Werner Memorial Library presents a screening of “To Kill a Mockingbird,” the 1962 international blockbuster film starring Gregory Peck, kicking off programming for the 2015 ONE BOOK STEAMBOAT community read of “Go Set a Watchman,” Harper Lee’s much anticipated sequel to her Pulitzer Prize winning novel. FREE. Wednesday night 8-Ball League 6:30PM @ The Colorado in Oak Creek Join or form a team for the fall session. (970) 734-4357 Yampatika’s Garden to Table Dinner Environmental Learning Center at Legacy Ranch Play Along With Pat 9PM @ Schmiggity’s Open stage jam hosted by Pat Waters FREE THURSDAY SEPT. 17 Beer Run 6:15PM @ Twisted Trails Running Compay Casual Run with beer at the end Thursday night 9-Ball League 6:30PM @ Steamboat Springs VFW Join or form a team for the fall session. (970) 734-4357 TBA 9PM @ Schmiggity’s

FRIDAY SEPTEMBER 18 Run Rabbit Run Ultramarathons 6AM @ Base of Steamboat Ski Area Featuring a 50-mile and 100-mile ultramarathon

Awaken with Chopra Center Yoga 9:30AM @ Yoga Center of Steamboat Followed by all-levels yoga. Chopra instructor Patty Zimmer zimmer@springsips. com 970-846-5608 Steamboat OktoberWest 5:30PM @ various locations Music, food, beer, activities and chef competition Festival admission is free. Tickets for tastings start at $20. Film “The Evolution of Snow Bikes” 7:30PM @ The Chief Theater Tickets $15 @ Shoe Chalet or Kyle Hollingsworth Band 10PM @ Schmiggity’s $15 presale, $20 @ door. SATURDAY SEPT. 19 Run Rabbit Run Ultramarathons 6AM @ Base of Steamboat Ski Area Featuring a 50-mile and 100-mile ultramarathon Windy Ridge Archaeological Hike 9AM @ Windy Ridge Trail on Rabbit Ears Pass Farmer’s Market 9AM @ 7th & Yampa More than 75 vendors, including food, arts and crafts Last one of the summer! Steamboat OktoberWest 5:30PM @ various locations Music, food, beer, activities and chef competition Festival admission is free. Tickets for tastings start at $20. Wish You Were Pink 9PM @ Schmiggity’s SUNDAY SEPTEMBER 20 DitchFest Arts & Music Festival 11AM @ Decker Park, Oak Creek 2nd annual music and art festival

Education is learning what you didn’t even know you didn’t know. -Daniel J. Boorstin


September 2015

Valley Voice

Calendar of Events Poochy Paddle 2PM @ Old Town Hot Springs Dogs are invited to swim in the pool before it is closed for cleaning. $5 per dog in advance/$10 day of event. Sunset Happy Hour 5PM @ Thunderhead Lodge Drinks, apps. and sunset viewing $12 includes Gondola ride Book Trails Fundraiser 5:30PM – Location TBA MONDAY SEPTEMBER 21 “Artposia” 6:30PM @ Library Hall Bud Werner Memorial Library, Colorado Art Ranch and The Nature Conservancy present “Artposia,” a public forum designed for people who appreciate literature, contemporary art and the multidisciplinary exploration of ideas. The evening features three Colorado Art Ranch artists participating in the 2015 Art + Land/ Water Residency at the Carpenter Ranch, Tatjana Jovancevic and Necole Zayatzk, offering a slideshow and talk about their creative work and its intersection with the land and water in the Yampa Valley. FREE. events TUESDAY SEPTEMBER 22 Tuesday night 8-Ball League 6:30PM @ Steamboat Springs VFW Join or form a team for the fall session. (970) 734-4357 Two-Step Tuesday (Country dancing) 7:30PM @ Schmiggity’s Free dance lessons (donations welcome) FREE WEDNESDAY SEPT. 23 High Altitude Baking 6:30PM @ Library Hall Bud Werner Memorial Library presents “High Altitude Baking with Randi Levin,” an evening with the internationally award-winning cookbook author and high altitude food specialist, sharing 38 years of experience baking at high altitude and offering guidance for baking and cooking scrumptious everyday treats and foods in higher elevations, including recipes for those with special dietary concerns. FREE.

Wednesday night 8-Ball League 6:30PM @ The Colorado in Oak Creek Join or form a team for the fall session. (970) 734-4357

Plein Air Festival 5PM @ Steamboat Art Museum Opening reception for the Plein Air Festival www.steamboatartmuseum. com/

Play Along With Pat 9PM @ Schmiggity’s Open stage jam hosted by Pat Waters FREE

The Chief Players present A Weekend of One Acts 7PM @ The Chief Theater Some adult content. Tickets $10 @ Shoe Chalet or www.


Ghetdown Network 10PM @ Schmiggity’s FREE

Small Business Series 5:30PM – location TBA Join the Young Professionals Network for a housing Options discussion with a panel of experts rsvp@steamboatchamber. com Intro to Medicare 6:30 @ Library Hall Bud Werner Memorial Library present a Health Perspectives discussions, “Intro to Medicare,” with Medicare counselor Betsy Packer. The evening includes a Q&A, where Packer will be available to help answer all your questions regarding the navigation of Medicare. FREE. Beer Run 6:15PM @ Twisted Trails Running Compay Casual Run with beer at the end Thursday night 9-Ball League 6:30PM @ Steamboat Springs VFW Join or form a team for the fall session. (970) 734-4357 The Lil’ Smokies 10PM @ Schmiggity’s FREE. FRIDAY SEPTEMBER 25 Awaken with Chopra Center Yoga 9:30AM @ Yoga Center of Steamboat Followed by all-levels yoga. Chopra instructor Patty Zimmer zimmer@springsips. com 970-846-5608 Plein Air Quick Draw Noon – Location TBA Two-hour timed painting event in correlation with The Plein Air Festival www.steamboatartmuseum. com/

SATURDAY SEPT. 26 Emerald Mountain Run 9AM @ Howelsen Hill Steamboat Springs Running Series 12k & 5k on trails of Emerald Mountain races/emerald.php. Psychic mini-readings with Lorre Buss Noon – 5PM @ Aspen Botanicals (Upstairs), 116 8th Street Lorre Buss offers spiritual guidance & tools for a more fulfilling life. $2.00/minute – 10 minute minimum BBQ & Barn Dance 5PM @ Wandering Creek Ranch Benefits charities of the Rotary Club of Steamboat Tickets available through Rotary members The Chief Players present A Weekend of One Acts 7PM @ The Chief Theater Some adult content. Tickets $10 @ Shoe Chalet or www. Bond & Bentley 10PM. FREE. SUNDAY SEPTEMBER 27 Community Yoga Practice 10AM @ Library Hall This one-hour yoga practice focuses on Rodney Yee’s “Power Up” DVD, a combination of cardio and strengthfocused yoga practices. Bring your own mat and blanket, and practice at your own pace. FREE.

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

MONDAY SEPTEMBER 28 International Wildlife Film Festival Short Films 6:30PM @ Library Hall Bud Werner Memorial Library presents two 2015 International Wildlife Film Festival short films, “Mapping the Blue,” about the Cook Islands’ biggest marine park on Earth, and “Silencing the Thunder,” about the perils for wild bison in Montana, at 6:30 p.m. in Library Hall. FREE. www. TUESDAY SEPTEMBER 29 Tuesday night 8-Ball League 6:30PM @ Steamboat Springs VFW LAST WEEK to join or form a team for the fall session. (970) 734-4357 Two-Step Tuesday (Country dancing) 7:30PM @ Schmiggity’s Free dance lessons (donations welcome) FREE WEDNESDAY SEPT. 30 APA Colorado Conference Noon @ Sheraton Steamboat (through October 3) Colorado Planning Assoc. Annual Conference Dance on Film 6:30PM @ Library Hall Bud Werner Memorial Library, Perry-Mansfield and Steamboat Dance Theatre present a Dance on Film evening of highlights from the 2013 and 2014 San Francisco Dance Film Festival. FREE. Young Professionals Network September Happy Hour 5PM – location TBA Free event to network with fellow young professionals www.steamboatchamber. com/chamber/ypn/happyhour-september Wednesday night 8-Ball League 6:30PM @ The Colorado in Oak Creek LAST WEEK to join or form a team for the fall session. (970) 734-4357 Play Along With Pat 9PM @ Schmiggity’s Open stage jam hosted by Pat Waters FREE

First Friday Artwalk September 4, 2015, 5 pm – 8 pm ART GALLERIES AND MUSEUMS CIRCLE SEVEN FINE ART 1009 Lincoln Ave., 879-4744 ALL GALLERY SHOW celebrating the Crane Festival. Oil, Acrylic, Watercolor Paintings, Bronze, Mineral, Wood and Clay Sculptures, Glass, Fiber and Ceramics art works; Photographs and Jewelry MANGELSEN-IMAGES OF NATURE 730 Lincoln Ave., 871-1822 STEAMBOAT ART MUSEUM 807 Lincoln Ave., 870-1755 SAM’s Summer Exhibit features a retrospective of the nationally acclaimed, local artist, John Fawcett. They are an impressive reflection of our local history and ranching community as only a true westerner can interpret. STEAMBOAT SPRINGS ARTS COUNCIL AT THE DEPOT 1001 13th St., 879-9008 STEAMBOAT SPRINGS CENTER FOR VISUAL ARTS 837 Lincoln Ave., 846-5970 WILD HORSE GALLERY 802 Lincoln Ave., 879-5515 Wild Horse Gallery will be featuring the last weekend of the 2015 Oil Painters of America Western Regional Exhibit. For more info go to or call 970-8192850. Catalog can be viewed and purchased at http://www. ALTERNATIVE VENUES COLORADO GROUP REALTY 509 Lincoln Ave., 875-2917 COLORADO PARTNERS 135 11TH St., 870-3110 (corner of Oak & 11th- across from Creekside)

CREEKSIDE CAFE 131 11th St., 879-4925 Inspired by the Buddhist Monks recent visit, Tinker Tiffany presents new paintings on silk with a mandala theme as well as her unique cosmos and nature work. HARWIGS/LAPOGEE 911 Lincoln Ave., 879-1919 SKITOWN COMPUTING 1104 Lincoln Ave., 870-7984 Graphite Realism by Sandi Poltorak.Artistic realism of the natural and western world around us. STEAMBOAT SMOKEHOUSE 912 Lincoln Avenue, 879-7427 THE CHIEF THEATER 813 Lincoln Ave., 720-425-0522 URBANE 703 Lincoln Ave., Suite B101, 879-9169 URBANE presents the photography of Local Jared Terrio. Jared, who is originally from Cape Cod, MA. Jared recently started his own company called Anchor Creative which focuses on architectural and real estate photography. Join us from 5-9pm.

Valley Voice

September 2015

Happy Hours

Smoke Signals

Last minute changes can and do occur - Mother Nature, illness, tour malfunction, whatever - the accuracy of this calendar is not guaranteed! 8th Street Steak House 9 PM - Close, Everyday

Mazzolas’s 5 - 6 PM, Everyday

Aurum Food & Wine 5 - 6 PM, Everyday

McKnights Irish Pub 4 - 6 PM, Mon.- Fri. 11 AM – Noon, Sat.-Sun.

Big House Burgers 4:20 - 6 PM, Mon-Sat., All Day, Sunday

Old Town Pub & Restaurant 3 - 6 PM, Everyday

Bistro C.V. 5 - 6:30 PM, Everyday

Rex’s American Grill & Bar 4:20 - 6 PM, Everyday

Cantina 3 - 6 PM, Everyday

Riggio’s Ristorante 5 - 6 PM, Mon- Sat.

Carl’s Tavern 4 - 6 PM, Everyday

Rio Grande Mexican Restaurant 3 - 6 PM, Everyday

Circle R Bar 4 - 6 PM, Thurs. – Sat. Cuginos Pizzeria & Italian Restaurant 4 - 6 PM, Mon. – Fri. Eureka 4 - 6 PM, Daily Karma Bar and Lounge 4 - 6 PM, Mon.- Sat. La Montana 4:30 - 6 PM, Daily Laundry 4:30 - 6 PM, Tues. - Sat. Low Country 4:30 - 6:00 Daily Mahogany Ridge 4 - 5:30 PM, Everyday 9:30 -11 PM, Everyday Mambo Italiano 4 - 5:30 PM, Everyday

Sake2u 4 - 6 PM, Mon - Fri. 3 - 6 PM, Sat.-Sun. Sambi Restaurant 5 - 6 PM, Everyday Schmiggity’s Bar 7 - 9 PM, Everyday Slopeside Grill 3 - 6 PM, Mon. – Fri. Steamboat Smokehouse 3 - 6 PM, Everyday Sunpie’s Bistro 3 - 6 PM, Everyday Tap House Sports Grill 3 - 6 PM, Mon. - Fri. The Rusted Porch 2 - 6 PM, Everyday Truffle Pig 2:30 - 5:30 PM, Tues. - Sat.

News from the Chief of the Chief By Scott Parker

Hello all and thank you for reading the 24rd installment of Smoke Signals: News from The Chief of The Chief. The Chief Players RETURN!!!!!!! It has been about a year and half since the Chief Players last did a show but we are going to hit the ground running in September and not look back until we hit Mud Season in 2016!!!! When I first took the helm at the Chief Theater in August of 2013, live theatre was an area on which I wanted to focus. With the help of Thomas Miller and Howard Bashinski The Chief Players got off to a great start. Agatha Christie’s The Mousetrap, An Adult Evening of Shel Silverstein and Sylvia were performed during our 2013/14 season. The productions were amazing and the houses were packed! Due to various programming reasons we took a detour from producing our own in house live theatre. Sure we still host Cabaret, The Vagina Monologues, Perry Mansfield’s New Works Festival, Children’s Theatre Workshop’s Annual summer production (thank you Stout Girls…YOU ROCK!!!), Emerald Mountain School’s annual Shakespeare play, and many theater clubs, camps and workshops. But it has come time to once again produce show by The Chief Players!!! Our upcoming season will include the following: September 25th and 26th: A Weekend of One Act Plays: December 4th and 5th: The Best Christmas Pageant Ever January 22, 23 and 27, 29: Love, Loss and What I Wore February and March: Live Western Melodrama EVERY THURSDAY NIGHT! If you are interested in helping out in any area of live theatre, from acting and directing to stage managing and costumes please let me know!!!! Rest assured that live theatre in Steamboat Spring is alive and well and the Chief Theater is leading the way!!!!


Thank you for reading and see you at the Chief!!! Cheers, Scott




Register Now for Fall Session! 8-Ball & 9-Ball Pool Leagues

Divisions in Oak Creek and Steamboat Play in one or both

All Skill levels welcome! Beginners needed! 813 Lincoln Avenue 970-871-4791

September 4th

Super Fun Steamboat Show Doors and Bar @ 7:30 pm Show @ 8 pm Tickets $10

September 5th

Stand Up Comedy Featuring Comedians from Comedy Works in Denver

Doors and Bar @ 6:30 pm Show @ 7 pm

Tickets $10

September 6th

The Giddy Up Film Tour Film @ 7 pm Tickets $15

September 18th

The Evolution of Snow Bikes

Doors and Bar @ 7:00 pm Show @ 7:30 pm

Tickets $15

September 25 & 26 The Chief Players Present:

A Weekend of One Act Plays

Doors and Bar @ 6:30 pm Show @ 7:00 pm

Tickets $10 Education is the key to unlock the golden door of freedom. -George Washington Carver


September 2015

Valley Voice

Water Issues

Comment on 2nd Draft of Colorado Water Plan

By Marsha Daughenbaugh

Are you concerned about how Colorado will balance the water needs for agriculture, urban demands and our environment in coming decades? If so, you have an opportunity to make your voice heard by state water leaders. A second draft of Colorado’s first comprehensive statewide water plan was released last month, and the Colorado Water Conservation Board is seeking public input. Comments on this draft must be submitted by September 17 in order to be considered in the development of the final plan, which is due to be submitted to Governor Hickenlooper on December 10, 2015. This draft follows years of debate between Front Range and West Slope water providers, environmental advocates, river recreationists, farmers and ranchers over how to meet a projected gap between available water supplies and demands, particularly in growing Front Range cities. There are three main sources to turn to: transferring water from agriculture, pulling more water from West Slope streams across the Continental Divide, and significantly ramping up water re-use and conservation. Like the original draft released in December 2014, the new draft dodges controversy and lays out a toolbox of actions alongside detailed information about current water supplies, demands and climate change projections. Particular project proposals are found in the “basin implementa-

tion plans” developed by roundtables of water providers and stakeholders in each of the state’s major river basins. The new draft does, however, contain significantly more nuts and bolts on how to move forward on measures such as promoting conservation, improving the efficiency of the project permitting process, and developing new funding mechanisms. The concept of environmental resiliency is also incorporated more fully into this draft of the plan. In addition, the new draft includes a revised framework for discussing the perpetually hot topic of the potential for a new project to divert more water from the West Slope to the Front Range. The framework sets out “realities and issues proponents for a new transmountain diversion should expect to address,” including the fact that water would likely not be available to divert in some years, due to existing uses and downstream obligations. In the realm of urban conservation, the second draft of the plan contains beefed up sections on increasing the reuse of municipal water and integrating land-use and water planning, since large-lot subdivisions consume more water than denser development with less turf. In relation to agricultural water, the second draft discusses measures to increase efficiency and conservation – while noting that the two are not equivalent. Increas-

ing efficiency involves getting better at delivering water directly to where plants need it and nowhere else, which can actually make crops grow more vigorously and thus consume more water. Conservation, on the other hand, involves reducing the consumption of water, which can be accomplished through planting less thirsty plants, giving crops less water than needed for maximum growth, planting less acreage, or getting rid of water-sucking weeds. While efficiency can have water quality benefits and improve streamflows between the point of diversion and the point where unconsumed water trickles back to the stream, only reduced consumption can make additional water available for other uses. The draft plan also dedicates considerable ink to “alternative transfer mechanisms” that allow farmers to provide a portion of their water to cities on a temporary basis instead of permanently selling the water rights and drying up their land. Using such mechanisms could be less damaging to rural communities than “buy and dry” practices, but they are more complicated to implement. Permitting process proposals include ensuring that all agencies with a say on a project are involved early on. Funding proposals include establishing a guaranteed repayment fund to facilitate multi-party projects and green bonds for environmental and recreational projects. One message that comes through in reading the draft plan is that no one big project or mandate will provide the answer to meeting all of Colorado’s future water needs. The needs are diverse and dispersed, and a diverse and dispersed set of tools is needed to address them. And each tool comes with its own set of technical, legal and financial challenges. The draft plan attempts to chart the course for resolving those challenges, in the hope that the results will add up to a water future for Colorado that matches Coloradans’ values. You can decide for yourself whether you think the right tools have been identified and the strategies proposed are adequate by going to You can find the complete text of the plan under the “Resources” tab by clicking on “2015 Second Draft of Colorado’s Water Plan.” Clicking on “General Information” under the “Resources” tab will give you access to a webinar and a July 2015 update that outline changes incorporated into the new draft. The “Get Involved” tab provides several options for submitting input.

The Second Draft of

Colorado’s Water Plan is Available for Our Review

Colorado Water Conservation Board encourages public input through September 17, 2015 on their second draft of the Colorado's Water Plan: Resources: 2015 Second Draft of Colorado’s Water Plan (see plan in full or by chapters)

This is part of a series of articles coordinated by the Water Center at Colorado Mesa University in cooperation with the Yampa-White-Green Basin Roundtable to raise awareness about water needs, uses and policies in our region. To learn more, go to You can also find the Water Center on Facebook at https:// or on Twitter at

Get Involved: Submit your input so that it may be considered by CWCB

Hannah Holm is the Coordinator of the Water Center at Colorado Mesa University

Eastern Slope Pivot System in need of Western Slope water.

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

Marsha Daughenbaugh is the Executive Director of the Community Agriculture Alliance. (970-879-4370)

Valley Voice

September 2015


Routt County Humane Society

Oh, The Humane-ity! By Heather Shore

If you’ve been paying any attention as you wander around our mountain town this summer, then you must have noticed the lovely labs that have decorated the entryways of local businesses. These labs, while real in size, are not alive…but do not worry, you can still adopt them and take them home with you. (And, there’s no need to worry about allergies…bonus!) On June 6, the Routt County Humane Society began its annual Gimme Shelter Summer Fundraiser. Ten life-sized fiberglass labs were taken from their “blank canvas” state to one of amazing artistic feats by community artists. Here are the artful labs, their artists and their foster families - where you can visit them before they are auctioned off. • The Lily Eater by artist Susan Schiesser at Steamboat Flyfisher • The Wine Lab by artist Diana Childs at Olivia’s Home Furnishings • BEagle by artist Robert Dieckoff at Homesteader • Bird Dog by artists Pat Walsh and Dawn Wilde at Chez Nous • Moon Dog by artist Lance Whitner at the Routt County Humane Society • Cattle Dog by artist Kathryn Fresques at Outdoor K9 • Glassie Lassie by artist Jennifer Baker at Steamboat Art Company • Walking Miss Daisy by artist Carol Jean at Aurum Food & Wine • A Kiss Away by artist Susie Jackson at Colorado Partners • Patches by artist Sue Gallion at Casey’s Pond All these doggies are looking for forever homes. The auction will take place at Aurum Food and Wine on Sunday, September 20. World-renowned auctioneer Cookie Lockhart will be conducting the live auction of all the artful labs and other great items that have been donated. Cookie, and her daughter Jo, have been brought on to manage the auction this year. Lisa Archer Leach, Board Member and Fundraising Chair for the Humane Society, says that Cookie and Jo “have taken this auction, now an experience, to a whole new level.” Lisa knows this was a massive project and she is “getting schooled” in how to make an auction fun for everyone AND make money. All proceeds from the live and silent auctions go to support the Routt County Humane Society.

work on their labs. (The fiberglass dogs) show up at Maggie Smith’s studio. Maggie is in charge of pitching to the artists and asking them to create. The artists then turn their blank canvas into their work of art. (For example…) The glass that was placed on Glassie Lassie, was made especially for that dog. Each dog becomes a labor of love. Once they are placed with their fosters, the Humane Society takes special pains to visit the dogs to make sure they are okay.

“Patches” by Sue Gallion and is being fostered at Casey’s Pond.

VV: What obstacles does the Routt County Humane Society have to handle with regularity? LAL: Keeping the cash flow steady. For years while the city was maintaining the shelter, every last dollar we (the Humane Society) ever raised went to the homeless animals of this county and to low-income families for spaying, neutering, and injuries. Many expenses that the general public does not know about include food, litter, other supplies, and medical bills, for sheltered animals. In May of this year, the Humane Society took over the shelter from the city and now needs community support more than ever. Money raised from the live and silent auction items will go towards the Humane Society’s new role managing the shelter, as well as toward their adoption, spaying, neutering, and community education programs, and towards medical expenses for abandoned and homeless four legged friends in our community. ••• My name is Heather and I am a failed foster. This is not a bad thing. Most animal shelters, including ours in Steamboat, have a foster program. Often times, a foster welcomes a four-legged friend into their home on a temporary basis, but then this temporary home becomes a forever home. So, since I have adopted two cats that were originally fosters, I am a failed foster. This is something I am very okay with. You can become a foster or forever family by visiting the Routt County Humane Society on Critter Court off 13th Street. You can also attend the Gimme Shelter Summer Fundraiser and adopt one of the artful labs. If you are unable to make it to the auction in person, you can register to bid online on the Humane Society website,, and they will arrange for a phone bidder.

“Walking Miss Daisy” by Carol Jean and is being fostered at Aurum Food & Wine.

Routt County Humane Society Gimme Shelter Summer Fundraiser Sunday, September 20, 2015, 5pm Aurum Food & Wine, 811 Yampa Street, Downtown Steamboat Springs Evening Includes: Live and silent auction featuring world-renowned auctioneer Cookie Lockhart; hors d’oeuvres, cocktail specials, chances to win, music, prizes and more. Tickets: $20 pre-sale; $25 at the door Sold At: Routt County Humane Society Shelter on Critter Court and at these veterinary offices and retailers: All That, Chez Nous, The Homesteader, Mt. Werner Veterinary Hospital, Mountain Peaks Veterinary Hospital, Outdoor K-9, Paws n Claws, Pet Kare Clinic, Verizon-Go Wireless (next to Freshies). Event Sponsors: Aurum Food and Wine, Steamboat Radio For more information or to volunteer contact Lisa Archer Leach at 970-819-8840 or lisaal3@hotmail. com.

Lisa talked to the Valley Voice about the Humane Society and the fundraiser. VV: Do the artists donate their time? LAL: Yes. Once the dogs arrive from Chicago, they are given to the artists and they get about two months to

846-1742 It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it. Aristotle


September 2015

Valley Voice

Sustainably Situated

Talking Green

By Meg Tully, Executive Director of Historic Routt County WHAT: Talking Green September: Preservation Green Lab WHERE: Bud Werner Memorial Library Hall WHEN: Tuesday, September 29, 5:30-7:00pm Preservation Green Lab: Creating Sustainable Communities by Investing in Older Buildings Yampa Valley Sustainability Council (YVSC) and Historic Routt County (HRC) are pleased to have James Lindberg (Jim) join us for the Talking Green event on September 29 at the Bud Werner Memorial Library at 5:30pm. Jim is the Senior Director of the Preservation Green Lab for the National Trust for Historic Preservation, which is comprised of an interdisciplinary team of professionals with expertise in energy, historic preservation, planning and policy. His presentation will focus on the work of the Preservation Green Lab and the collaborative efforts of diverse partners who aim to strengthen the connections between sustainability and the nation’s vast inventory of older buildings and established neighborhoods. What is the Preservation Green Lab? Launched in March of 2009, the Seattle-based Preservation Green Lab advances research that explores the value that older buildings bring to their communities and pioneers policy solutions that make it easier to reuse and to green older and historic buildings. The Green Lab seeks to minimize carbon impacts from the built environment through direct emissions reductions from building retrofits and reuse and to conserve character-rich and human-scale communities that attract people to more sustainable, urban living patterns.

Cleo going big at the Ponds. Photo by Bill-E-Bob

Most communities have older buildings, neighborhoods and commercial districts that are integral to their economic and social well-being, but many lack the resources or expertise to improve and to enhance their built assets. The Green Lab identifies practical solutions - many of which are tested in demonstration projects by the National Trust - and delivers tools and resources to policy makers, real estate professionals and community-based organizations. Research & Solutions Jim’s discussion will touch on some important Preservation Green Lab research and projects, such as the following: • The Greenest Building: Quantifying the Environmental Value of Building Reuse (January 2012) – research that demonstrated the quantified environmental value of building reuse and set the stage to drive policy change from a building level to a national level. • Making it Easier to Reuse Existing Buildings is a partnership with the Urban Land Institute that supports local strategies that encourage reinvestment in vacant, abandoned and underutilized properties. • A new, Outcome-Based Energy Code framework, currently piloting in Seattle, Wash., provides regulatory flexibility and enables innovation in greening older and historic buildings. • Realizing the Energy Efficiency Potential of Small Buildings (June 2013) – research that led to the development of a new national program, America Saves!, to improve the energy and economic performance of small businesses located in business improvement districts, Main Streets and Eco-Districts. • Saving Windows, Saving Money: Evaluating the Performance of Window Replacement and Retrofit (October 2012) – provides owners of historic homes and small buildings with tested and confirmed window interventions to increase the energy performance of original windows in existing buildings. More About Jim Lindberg • Jim joined the National Trust in 1991 and has led a range of nationally recognized preservation and sustainable development projects, including the adaptive use of a former dude ranch in Rocky Mountain National Park and the green rehabilitation of an historic school in Denver. Jim currently is leading a partnership with the Urban Land Institute to remove barriers to building reuse in major US cities. He has written numerous articles and books on architecture, planning and preservation and is a lecturer in the College of Architecture and Planning at the University of Colorado Denver. Jim received his BA degree in the Growth and Structure of Cities from Haverford College and his MS degree in Historic Preservation from the University of Vermont. • The event is free, open to everyone, and beverages and light snacks will be served.

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

Valley Voice

Energetically Speaking

Clean Fuel Progress By Fred Robinson

September 2015

Writers’ Corner

A Reason Why Writers’ Corner features work selected from and by the Steamboat Springs Writer’s Group. The Writer’s Group meets Thursdays at Noon at the Depot Art Center. All are welcome!

irk and ire - a means to inspire though the dire set a fire that burns the wires of mind mires.

August 19th, I will be on a clean fuel panel during the Green Transportation Summit at the Crowne Plaza Hotel near DIA. August 20th, I will have my vehicle available for the GTS Ride and Drive at Bandimere Speedway in Morrison, CO. I have asked the National Renewable Energy Laboratory in Golden to fill one of my fuel tanks with hydrogen so I can demonstrate two more fuels during that event. Those fuels are pure hydrogen and a blend of hydrogen and natural gas called HCNG. There will be a wide variety of vehicles available at the ride and drive like a Propane fueled police car, lots of Electric Vehicles, CompressedNaturalGas and LiquidNaturalGas fueled trucks, and Dual-Fuel trucks that run on diesel fuel and Natural Gas at the same time. There will be Biodiesel fueled vehicles and Ethanol fueled vehicles too. There will be Hybrid vehicles that run on electricity and gasoline and Plug in Hybrid vehicles that will go farther on electricity. Hydrogen fueled Fuel Cell vehicles will be a popular model to drive. I will write more about the GTSummit and Ride & Drive for the next Valley Voice in October.


By John Whittum


August 13th, I had my Multi-Fuel vehicle on the ski village mall in Snowmass for the American Renewable Energy Day Expo. My Hummer was parked next to a Honda Insight that had been modified to run on ethanol by David Blume. They sell equipment to modify vehicles to run properly on E85 and teach you how to make your own ethanol for vehicle fuel. Across the mall was a display of solar food cookers that use a vacuum tube to concentrate the sunlight for faster cooking. They look durable and easy to transport to a campsite or just put them outside for a sun cooked meal. www.gosunstove. com. I shared information with many people about how we can travel anywhere in my Hummer H2H2 without buying gasoline. For people that had doubts, I had a few copies of my stories in the Valley Voice to share with them. After the Expo, Taj Mahal played an incredible three hour concert right next to the mall. Then I drove to Parachute, CO. to fill my CNG tanks and Rifle, CO. to fill my gas tank with E85 before driving home.


come check us out! • In that funky little hut next to express lube • At the farmer’s market on saturdays

2120 Downhill Drive

8-6-15 a debate for ten republic cons who are running to get a job done with a wild itch they all have a pitch with a scam solve to corruption HILIARY CON-FOOLERY robber - liar she and hubby conspire a presidential candidate how come we take the bait to vote for a common criminal ?? Do we keep the truth subliminal ??? By Karen Leslee ---------------------------------------------------------------To my daughter Maggie Images of you Wander daily through my head Shaping instant joys By John Whittum

LJ Cheffin’ up the tacos at Lupita’s

There was an Indian Jewelry display on the mall in Snowmass that really had beautiful treasures. I bought a necklace for my wife that Tom Canyon made and sold me. He explained the significance and spiritual meaning of the different stones and shells in his art. He is from Kirtland, New Mexico. Canyon Design Jewelries at 505 686 1229.

Education’s purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one. -Malcolm Forbes


September 2015

Valley Voice

A Closer Look

Food Intolerance and Bogus Health Care By Monica Yager


is to sell the testing for it.

Food intolerance, the difficulty some individuals have digesting some foods, isn’t a big deal: people who have food intolerance can avoid the particular offending food and life goes on. For instance, in the case of lactose intolerance, it is simple and effective to avoid dairy products. But in the alternative health industry, food intolerance presents an opportunity to obfuscate and bilk money from clients, all under the guise of health care.

Supplements and tests for food intolerance are both scams and they both rely on scare tactics, like all the bad things that are claimed to be caused by food intolerance. Vague, common symptoms for a range of health issues from skin problems including acne, eczema and dermatitis, to dull, lifeless hair, mood problems, brain fog, headaches, migraine, low energy, weight gain, inability to lose weight, respiratory problems, sleeplessness, muscle aches, joint pain, arthritis, premature aging, and specific diseases like IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome), ADD/Hyperactivity, autoimmune diseases, and of course, inflammation, which alternative health practitioners say is the cause of all disease, have all been claimed to be caused by food intolerance, but only in the alternative health industry.

Food intolerance can come from a particular food, or a component of food, or ingredients added to food, like preservatives. Symptoms are limited to the digestive system, which means the only symptoms would be gas, diarrhea, cramps, or other gastrointestinal discomfort, all of which go away when the food passes out of the system. That is why avoidance of foods that cause undesired symptoms makes perfect sense. But there is no money to be made with that advice so alternative health practitioners turn food intolerance into something that can be a moneymaker. One way is to claim food intolerance can be caused by organ weakness, adrenal fatigue, or toxins, and the practitioner can pretend to treat by convincing the client to buy their special supplements to aid in cleansing the body of bad foods. Another way to make money off food intolerance

Jolein A. Harro, P.C.

Looking for a solution in your dissolution?

Food Intolerance and Bogus Health Care

Yampa Valley Photographers Image of the Month: On her way to Stagecoach, Kathy Cline took this image of horses on the side of the road with a cow photobomb.

970-439-3065 35 5th Street Steamboat Springs, Colorado


MAIN STREET OAK CREEK • Natural Foods • Local Products • Fresh Meat • Fresh Produce • Organic Foods • Friendly Service • Specialty Foods • Convenient • Fresh Dairy

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

To health care consumers, it would make sense to want to alleviate those bothersome conditions, so food intolerance testing might seem reasonable. The alternative health industry offers two tests: a saliva test and a blood test. Saliva tests are often offered by naturopaths, chiropractors, acupuncturists, “holistic healers,” selfstyled nutritionists and various unlicensed individuals. The cost is usually around $200.00. There are also on-

Valley Voice

September 2015

line companies that will send a collection kit directly to the consumer who can take a sample of their saliva and send it off in the mail back to the company or to an address of a supposed lab. However, these labs don’t exist. Online companies that receive saliva samples simply throw them out because actual testing costs money and takes time. It is much quicker and less costly to take a shortcut by fabricating a lab report that shows the presence of various food intolerances. Researchers who sent identical samples to the same company received different results, with no overlap. These tests always reveal food intolerances, sometimes as many as one hundred or more foods are listed as incompatible, including foods that were not suspected, called “hidden food intolerance,” which is actually not a real condition, but alternative health practitioners are fond of claiming it as the hidden cause of diseases and conditions. And that might form the basis for consumers to consider that saliva testing for food intolerance might be reasonable, at least just to be sure. However, there are no acceptable, proven tests for the diagnoses of food intolerance. Blood tests for food intolerance are a little more complicated because of the process of drawing blood. Some licensed pharmacists and registered dietitians promote this test but that does not mean it is any more reliable than a saliva test. It just makes the test more expensive, costing $500.00 and up. Both saliva tests and blood tests screen for a particular antibody, IgG, however, screening for IgG is unproven as a diagnostic test and lacks clinical relevance for food intolerance. IgG is a food specific antibody. We all produce IgG as a normal response to the food we eat. Rather than an indicator of intolerance, the presence of IgG is an indicator of exposure to food. Further, adults who outgrew childhood food allergies have an increased level of IgG antibodies to those specific foods, indicating an increased tolerance, the opposite of the theory that food intolerance testing is based on. The presence of IgG is not related to disease, food intolerance, hidden food intolerance, or delayed symptoms of food intolerance. As with saliva tests, blood tests are also sent to a distant or phony lab for one reason: these types of labs


will always determine lots of food intolerances for each client. Local labs with testing protocols and established reputations with hospitals and medical doctors will not perform those tests. As well, reputable medical doctors will not perform saliva or blood tests for the purposes of food intolerance. The accepted standards of care for suspected food intolerance is for the health care consumer to eliminate suspected foods from their diet and then reintroduce the suspected foods as a check to see if symptoms reoccur. This is real health care at its finest: health care consumers can take charge of their own well-being by making dietary changes and selfassessing the results. This is in stark contrast to alternative practitioners who claim clients need to be tested and retested, to check progress, buy their special supplements for nutrition support, pay for expensive recommended diet plans, and all those follow-up office visits.

Hayden Branch

101 N. 6th Street


In the end, health care dollars spent for supplements and the supplements themselves are used up, the money spent on testing is gone and there is no change in client’s health. Licensed pharmacists and registered dietitians who promote this scam are practicing outside the standards of care for their professions, which shows a lack of integrity and honesty and should be avoided for any health care issues.

750 Hospital Loop Craig, Colorado 81625 Phone: 970-824-9411 e-mail:

Health concerns, including food intolerance, should be taken to educated, trained, licensed, qualified health care professionals who do not promote testing for food intolerance.


Monica Yager is a graduate of Brown Institute, Mpls, MN, and attended Colorado Northwest Community College and Colorado Mountain College Arts & Humanities program. A Closer Look is the culmination of witnessing first-hand the wackiness of the alternative health industry as former owner of a health food store and the encouragement of a couple of professors to write, write, write.


over the limit. under arrest. Routt County is cracking down. The whole purpose of education is to turn mirrors into windows. -Sydney J. Harris


September 2015

Valley Voice

Transitory Adventures

Gettin’ the Lead Out By Nacho Neighbor

8/6/15, fire side close to the Mount Massive Trailhead. Ready to summit. Into my bunk….. Campsite is a beautiful place. Extreme, massive, “ultra” if you will. If the last adjective is one of the top 5 traits about you, then you belong here. I’m here accidently on purpose if that makes sense. I came to “Pbville”, but didn’t plan on my corporate housing to be a 70’s hunting trailer square in the middle of heaven. Then again, my CEO is no regular individual.




Planning, Engineering Design Construction Field Services & Management

Mountain Pine Technical Services, LLC.

117 E. Main St. Suite "A" Oak Creek, Colorado 80467


Where Technology meets the Old West right beneath the horse.



1104 Lincoln Ave in the Old West Building

While dining with him and his family, a guest showed up. She’s not like you and me. Liz Bauer is one of those people that runs to a different drummer. She comes here for the challenges. That’s where things get simply complicated. Sorry, but this place and everyone around here are contradictory. “Here” is an elusive place because you can’t be “here,” in your right mind, and willingly run 100 miles on foot. Let alone for just a belt buckle and an ‘Atta-boy’ or an ‘Atta-girl’. Let alone do it once a month for a year or more, let alone run for 6 days straight on your high school track like a NASCAR race. Can’t imagine there is as much traffic, and Liz would be the source of her own crash. And, by the way, If you cause the caution, you don’t get to stay on the lead lap………..Just sayin’. “I watch the grass go by,” she says wistfully looking down at her Dollar Store canvass shoes in response to how one keeps a steady pace? Liz is a critical care nurse who doesn’t like to work more than three months a year. Hmm, me either. “I can tell whether I’m running a 12-minute mile or a 15-minute mile, by watching the grass……,” she says. When you meet someone with Liz’s credentials, your mind tends to conjure up a few obvious questions. I put the obligatory ones to the side like, “WTF?” And, “WTF? But nutrition was on the top due to my vocation.

those of you keeping score, that was an ultra-running joke with a side of Commander Cody. That is what they say in the business as, “gravitas.” In spades bitches! Liz is the Guinness Book of World Records’ current holder of the title of running the most miles in 6 days, I believe I heard her say. Add in something like 12 or more 100-mile races in one year as frosting on the cake. I’m trying not to fall in love here. She endorses McDonalds openly, works three months a year, wears Dollar Store shoes………………… The woman takes a daily vitamin and calcium dose and that’s it! I mean, with some McDonalds McRib sandwiches thrown in as well, but it just doesn’t add up. We weren’t designed that well as beings for such abuse. My orthopedic surgeon can tell you that. The tibia plateau wasn’t one of God’s best designs. Perhaps seeing really sick people is what motivates her somehow. I know I would run from that in my nightmares. With a Filet-O-Fish of course! Maybe I should join the club? They embrace the high fat diet that Lovastatin lets me indulge. Nice enough people and all. Hmmmmm, feels suspicious though. They take in tons, but how do they burn it? I play two games of D-League beer ball and inhale a dozen wings and a ribeye followed by some Cherry Garcia. Then I call for pizza delivery…………………………

I gave of my soul first on the subject of junk food as it pertains to my personal taste, and everyone’s guilty pleasures. Bear in mind, all of my dinner companions have completed the Leadville 100 foot race. Me? I’ve stayed up for 111 hours once. Does that count?

“I just ran a 14’er before my shift,” one co-worker boasts.

“I’m Filet-o-Fish, no cheese.” There, I said it. I was scared, I may have made one of my multitudes of bone –head orations. It’s the Epicurean in me. I’ve always been on record in favor of subtracting an item from a stock burger. Odds of a fresh one go up tremendously. Add mayo, no pickle. But be nice, order 2, make it worth their while to perfect the product on the second one.

Throttle fit and running fit are mutually exclusive. Throttle fit people can pace the running fit people. Like the camera people at the tour De France. I will “pace you” alright with my two-stroke land rocket. Living, it’s the only day worth dying for. I will cover the Collegiate Range in 2 hours and drop off supplies for the rest of y’all. I’ll be the first one back to the campfire.

Liz doesn’t hesitate as if this comes up quite often and she was trying not to make me feel like a dumb-ass in the company of people who have run 100 miles at one clip. “My favorite is the McRib! It’s wrapped up, easy to eat. I tell my friends to buy a bag of 5 or more when I’m racing. I tell them, don’t worry, I’ll eat them.”

I knew if my persistent questions didn’t stop, I’d get return fire.

My sentiments exactly! Turns out, fat is where it’s at for people who burn thousands and thousands a day, routinely. I’ve wasted many moons on couches with a bunch of morons that consumed the same, but they were blowing glass, not exercising. Their version of exercise was digging through the pizza boxes on the floor to look for the phone book to call for Chinese food. For reals……………. Personally, I get it. I too can tell the speed I’m going by the matter of transportation I prefer. “Telephone poles going by like a picket fence………..Son, you gonna drive me to drinkin’, if you don’t stop drivin’, that hot rod Lincoln……..” Commander Cody song kids. Just for

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

Check please! I’ll just stick with my stress on stress diet, with a side of motocross.

“Do you run or ride bikes?” She inquires. I had to revert to my canned, “I’m a stick and ball guy,” answer. That perplexed her. She’s from CT, it’s not like they didn’t have baseball and football, etc……The rest of my answer would fall on deaf ears, because my definition of sport is burning fossil fuel and ripping across the countryside. I tried to explain how I try to flow through the trees so to not impale myself, and she’s thinking of how long it will take her to run from Buena Vista to Leadville across all of the peaks………… That’s why there are horse for courses, and no two people go about it the same way. Except we both have the “Golden Arches” close at hand…………………

Valley Voice

September 2015


Here Knitty-Knitty

Socks for a Summer Kid By LA Bourgeois

Soon after Eric arrived in town, he showed up at Sew Steamboat during my shift. “Aunt LA?” “Yes.” “Are you going to make me socks this year?” “Come over here and pick your yarn.” Each year, I make a pair of socks for my nephew, Eric. I love that he asks for them, as I feel like he carries my presence with him when he carries those socks back to West Virginia. So, I make his socks just as he wants them. I think that’s why he continues to ask. He likes his socks to completely disappear into his sneakers. On our first hike this year, I made him pull his shoes off to show me he was wearing socks. For his peculiar taste, I make them with short, short legs, which is great since he has long, long feet. Seriously, ten and a half inches long and skinny! The skinniest part of his skinny body! Only eight inches in circumference. Frankly, I’m glad he likes them with the short legs since I’d be knitting for months if he wanted knee socks. However, when he grows out of the socks, they go to my mother or me. This year, I received a pair of orange footies from him that I made three years ago. I put them on to see how they would fit and they were a little long, but were okay. I don’t like the little short legs though, so I put them into my drawer and figured I’d find a time that they would be handy for me. Maybe there’s someone out there who would use a pair of short, long, skinny socks? They’re super comfy! I showed Eric the yarns he could pick, and walked away to let him make the decision on his own. He decided on a self-striping yarn with blue, green, brown, and orange layers. “This one, Aunt LA.” He dropped the skein of yarn on the counter and took off on his bicycle for the pool. I finally cast on the socks about halfway through his visit. Another thing he loves about my socks is how I start off with a tubular cast-on. This type of cast-on allows the

sock cuff to expand and contract easily with an invisible edge (which looks store-bought and doesn’t constrict) and maintains a wonderful elasticity which holds the sock on the leg. The tubular cast-on creates a simple knit one, purl one rib and I continued that rib down the entire two-inch leg (two inches since the one inch leg was so annoying for Aunt LA to wear!). At the end of those three inches, I divided the sock to use a heel flap and gusset to turn the heel. We all have to turn the corner somehow. Then, I embarked on that long, long, long foot.

98.9 FM

Thank God for self-striping yarns! Those stripes kept me entertained while I knitted that eight and three-quarter inches of foot before I got to the toe. At the toe, I knitted a simple tapered toe and closed the sock with a kitchener graft. Now, all I had to do was make the second one. I am lucky. I don’t really get second sock syndrome. Socks, for me, are a necessary meditation. Creating the second sock clears my mind and always seems to go faster than the first sock. I think it’s because I’ve made the decisions, learned the stitches, and can put myself on autopilot as I knit along on that second sock. If I want, I can even count the number of rows in the first sock and match that number as I work the second. Some people like to work socks two-at-a-time. People even say it’s faster, but I like to work mine one at a time on double-pointed needles. It’s all part of my meditation. I’m almost done with the sock as I worked on it while waiting for his plane to take off, waiting for the shuttle to pick us up, waiting for the bank to complete deposits, waiting for Steph at the dentist. I told Eric that he could expect the sock by Christmas time.

Your home for Steamboat Sailors Sports

He looked gratifyingly disappointed to know that he wouldn’t be taking his socks with him. However, I think that Christmas will be in September this year.

You can find LA Bourgeois knitting around town, especially at Sew Steamboat and the Depot Art Center. She’s probably working on a sock. If you want that pair of orange footies, contact her on Facebook at housewyfe

The great aim of education is not knowledge but action. -Herbert Spencer


September 2015

Valley Voice


Your Monthly Message By Chelsea Yepello Aries

March 21 - April 19

And then you realize that when fancy four dollar bottles of sparkling water go flat, is in fact, just water


April 20 - May 20

Jose enjoys sports, especially running. Who gives a Sh*%


May 20 - June 20

Stating that you are a pagan just so you can fornicate and binge drink, isn’t making the gods very happy. Maybe you should sacrifice a goat or two for good measure.


October 24 - November 21

The changes you are about to encounter this week can easily be explained in one of those 1950s informational videos featuring Little Timmy and his new and curious self discovery.


I Like Talking About Money By Scott L. Ford

November 22 - December 21

When they said “curiosity kills the cat,” that did not give you the green light to start murdering innocent little felines... even if you did legally change your name to Curiosity.


Go Figure!?

The United States has a very interesting history in relation to its currency. Over the next few months I plan on sharing with you some little known money fun facts that I have found to be interesting.

December 22 - January 19

This may come as a shock, but somehow you incurred the nickname “Whistle Lips” somewhere along the way... and even though you don’t really get it, you do find it oddly fitting.

Sometimes you just have to think about it like those half rotten bananas you put in your freezer months ago. You know, the ones that you convinced yourself you would make into banana bread one day? Because it would be such a waste to throw out a few bananas? Face it, they are 30 cents a pound. Toss ‘um

In 1787, the Constitution gave Congress exclusive power to coin money. In 1787 the United States issued its first official coin, the copper Fugio Cent. Congress devised the Fugio to get sorely needed small change into circulation. Coiner James Jarvis was awarded a contract to strike 300 tons of Fugio cents. The value of the Fugio established by Congress was $0.01.



The design of the coin was originally drawn by Benjamin Franklin and Congress approved this design concept. On the obverse (front of the coin) were thirteen circles linked together, a small circle in the middle with the words, “United States” around it, and in the center the words, “We Are One”. On the reverse side was a sun dial with the hours expressed on the face of it. The words “Mind Your Business” were below the sun dial.


June 21 - July 22

July 23 - August 23

You have a lot of wit and are very sharp. Sometimes your sharpness just pokes people in the ass.


August 23 - September 22

They say a bird in the hand is worth more than two in the bush. Don’t really know why you’re touching dirty birds anyway... you should really go wash your hands.


January 20 - February 18

Dear Aquarius, Your whole world revolves around one thing. It is the center of your universe and brings wholeness to the very fiber of your being. The answer to this and many other questions after this commercial break.


February 19 - March 20

Eat more vegetables.

September 23 - October 23

This week, the sweet sounds of your lovemaking in the middle of the night will wake up the girl across the hall, making it really awkward and a little embarrassing considering that you’re alone.

Huge turnout for the Ziggy Marley show.

The Fugio cents never made it into general circulation, and the government finally sold their surplus of them to a merchant at a significant loss. This merchant melted the coins and used the copper for other purposes. If you wanted to possess this very first “official” coin of the United States it will cost you about $500 to own it today. The 1792 Coinage Act adopted the decimal system and combined Alexander Hamilton’s idea of a bimetallic standard with Thomas Jefferson’s proposal that the dollar be the standard unit of money. The denominations prescribed for silver coins were to be a half dime, dime, quarter dollar, half dollar, and dollar. Denominations for gold coins were to be a quarter eagle ($2.50), half eagle ($5), and eagle ($10). Congress also provided for the coining of copper cents and half cents but did not give copper legal tender status; therefore, copper could be refused as payment.

Go Figure!? is sponsored by Rocky Mountain Remedies Proudly supporting alternative modalities in medicine and media. For those who live here and for those who wish they did.


Valley Voice

September 2015


Over 40 Brewers! Beef Cook Off!

Full Weekend of Events:

Friday, Sept 18th - 5:30 pm Saturday, Sept. 19th - 2-6 pm Presented by

Buy Tickets Now! #OktoberWest15 Education is the movement from darkness to light. -Allan Bloom


September 2015

Valley Voice

The First Show Completely Sold Out!? Yeah, we were as surprised as anyone, but that’s what happened. We packed in extra chairs and still had to turn away dozens of people at the door (apologies to those people. Who knew?) But the next show selling out shouldn’t be a surprise. You have been warned. Naturally, we’ll take advantage of the sellout to remind people to buy their tickets early, but this is also a publicservice announcement. If you saw the first show, you probably already bought tickets for the next one, as you know how good it is. But if you didn’t make the first show, ask around and see what others thought about it, and then buy your tickets quickly before they sell out again. And visit and like our new Facebook page at for photos, videos and more information.

By Todd Danielson

“It’s my conclusion that these rare chemicals, although relatively benign when separate, are very hostile and dangerous to animal life DNA when combined in large doses,” she added while munching from her bag of County Fair cotton candy. “Where such large doses of these chemicals could come from, or how they could accumulate downstream of Steamboat Springs, is a mystery that requires further scientific study, and will be the basis of my Science Fair project next year, as I defend my reign as ‘Hayden’s Top Scientist.’”

Golden Leaf Presents:

boat Show n Steamam Super Fu boatShow Ste .com/SuperFun www.facebook

Chief Theater

813 Lincoln Ave. ks First Fridays, after Artwal

2015 Debut Show: September 4, . Doors Open: 8 p.m t Show Starts: Soon after tha

Tickets: $ or

(Purchase at chieftheater ater or Shoe Chalet next to Chief The at door night of event) Ages 18+ Recommended

Super Fun Sponsors We couldn’t have a Super Fun Show, or afford this Super Fun Page in the awesome Valley Voice, without our sponsors. See the Super Fun Steamboat Show and get some audience-only discounts at their establishments (you have to come to the show to find out the details).

Join the Fun! Our only mission is to show our audience a great time, and one of the ways we’ll do that is through audience participation. Each month, we’ll have audience game shows, interview the brave onstage, and find other ways to make the night all about you, and isn’t that the point, really? We’ll be giving away Super Fun Swag (like SmartWool socks and PowerICE) to the brave who join us. DISCLAIMER: The views expressed on this Super Fun Page are those of the Super Fun Steamboat Show and not necessarily shared by the Valley Voice and its management.

A mutant fish (above) caught in the Yampa River contained massive levels of carcinogens found only in cheap sunscreen and floating tube materials. Hayden’s Top Scientist wonders of such concentrations of chemicals could be travelling downstream from Steamboat Springs, pictured at right on a Saturday afternoon in mid-July.

Hayden’s Top Scientist Discovers Contaminated Monster Fish Testing Reveals Massive Levels of Cheap Sunscreen and Inflatable Tube Carcinogens As part of the Routt County Fair extravaganza, Hayden 10-year-old Erlen Meyer won the prestigious Primary Level Science Fair for her entry, which analyzed a mysterious monster fish her father caught in the Yampa River approximately 15 miles downstream of Steamboat Springs. The Blue Ribbon also came with the designation of “Hayden’s Top Scientist” until next year’s competition. “The fish’s DNA was unrecognizable,” added the incoming fifth grader. “The basis appears to be trout, but there have been so many cancerous mutations, that the closest match to its DNA is now Donald Trump.” Meyer’s scientific analysis of the fish revealed massive levels of rare chemicals found primarily in cheap, non-hippieapproved sunscreen as well as the components used to create the plastics in inflatable tubes and rafts.

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

Oh, July!

What If the “Kleiber Letter” Was a Hoax? So the latest tally on the infamous Steamboat chain letter is one Police Chief, one Deputy Police Chief and now one City Manager. Impressive. And who could be next? This isn’t over just yet. But what if the contents of the letter were a fabrication? What if the villains were the heroes, and the heroes actually the villains? Well, after giving it pretty hard to the Police Department in our premiere (and not getting arrested or brutalized … so far), the Super Fun Steamboat Show is going to examine these “bizarro universe” possibilities in our next show—another “you don’t want to miss that” moment. You’re welcome.

Valley Voice

September 2015

By Dale Boberg

Oso gets a part-time job!

s OSO’s Adventure By Jeff Morehead

By Matt Scharf




September 2015

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

Valley Voice

Valley Voice September 2015  

Steamboat Springs, Colorado

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