Valley Voice May 2017

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May 2017 . Issue 6.5


a member managed llc

Steamboat Springs Hayden Oak Creek Yampa

“Concentration” by Taylor Kreissig


May 2017

Valley Voice Be Local & Eat Local! Amazing baked goodies, quiche, breakfast burritos, sausage rolls, plus great coffee and tea.

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For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

Industrial Design Museum Design

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Valley Voice

May 2017


Contents Hello Shorts! Page 4 By Matt Scharf

Let’s Stop Guessing/ Steamboat Springs

Page 5

Hour-long round trip drives for work with nothing to show for it…

The Next Generation for Steamboat Artists

Page 6

Construction and its resulting delays…

Those Damn Hippies at Oak Creek

Page 8

By Dagny McKinley

By Paul and Ellen Bonnifield

Finding a place that’s open during mud season…

Library Thanks the Pilcrow Foundation

Page 9

Go Figure?

Page 9

As much as that was, you could do 10 laps around the KFC...

By Scott L. Ford

Scott Ford

Putting away the winter toys for the season…

Riding down the sidewalk. At full speed. On the wrong side of the road, no less…

By Hayden Library

Business Manager:

Aggrandizement mistaken for accomplishment…

Page 4

By Scott L. Ford

Publisher/Art Director: Matt Scharf

Lipstick stains on the glasses at Steamboat’s best Mexican restaurant…

Inspiration by the Yard By Cully Kistler

Pollen: Plant Sex 101

Page 10


Tiny House, Big Livin’

Page 12

Moms! Don’t forget: May 14. Happy Mother’s Day!

By Karen Vail

By Paulie Anderson

Sales: Eric Kemper

Giant Homes Page 13

Wide open sidewalks and plenty of available parking spaces…

Event Calendar: Nina Rogers

I am a Friend of Billy the K.

Putting away the winter gear for the season…

Valley Voice is published monthly and distributed on the last Wednesday of each month. Please address letters, questions, comments or concerns to: Valley Voice, LLC, P.O. Box 770743 or come by and see us at 1125 Lincoln Ave, Unit 2C, Steamboat Springs, CO 80477. Or contact Matt Scharf: 970-846-3801. Scott Ford: 970-819-9630. Website Subscription rate is $40 per year (12 issues). All content © 2017 Valley Voice, L.L.C. No portion of the contents of this publication may be reproduced in any manner without the written permission from the Valley Voive.

Official Fine Print

Advertisers assume full responsibility for the entire content and subject matter of their ads. In the event of error or omission in the advertisement, the publisher’s sole responsibility shall be to publish the advertisement at a later date. Advertisements and articles are accepted and published upon the representation that the author, agency and/or advertiser is authorized to publish the entire contents and subject matter thereof. The author, agency, and/ or advertiser will indemnify and save Valley Voice, LLC harmless from all claims and legal action resulting from the contents of the articles or advertisements including claims or suits resulting from libel, defamation, plagiarism, rights to privacy and copyright infringements.

By Cody Badaracca By Lyn Wheaton

Page 14

Ear Plugs Page 15

Playoffs! With the best players (Crosby, McDavid, LeBron, Kawhi) showing why they’re the best when it matters the most…

Health Care Can Be So Complicated

Page 16

The ultimate results of construction when it’s finished…

Tera Johnson Releases New Album - HOME

Page 21

Getting the grass seed on the lawn just before the rain starts…

News from the Chief of the Chief

Page 21

Calendar of Events

Page 22

Say What?...

First Friday Artwalk

Page 25

Everyone Has Faith

Page 26

The First Saturday In May

Page 27

By Aimee Kimmey By Nancy Spillane

By Jaxon Michaels By Scott Parker By Nina Rogers

By Wina Procyzyn By Lorre Buss

By Eric Kemper

“Holocaust centers?”

You Get To Make The Rules!

“This is more work than in my previous life”

By Wandering Rose By Mr. Helpful, MD

Page 29

Special Stitches Page 30

Direct all correspondence, articles, editorials or advertisements to the address below. The author’s signature and phone number must accompany letters to the editor. Names will be withheld upon request (at the discretion of the publisher). Submission is no guarantee of publication.

Poetry Page 31

Subscription rate is a donation of 40 measly dollars per year. However, if you wish to send more because you know we desperately need your money, don’t be shy, send us all you can!

Monica Yager

Thank you for your support!

“People don’t realize, you know, the Civil War, if you think about it, why? People don’t ask that question, but why was there the Civil War? Why could that one not have been worked out?” “The one thing I would say - and I say this to people I never realized how big it was”

By LA Bourgeois

Please make checks payable to: Valley Voice, LLC P.O. Box 770743 • Steamboat Springs, CO 80487

The First 100 Days Edition

Bloodsuckers Page 28

The views and opinions expressed reflect the views and opinions of the authors and may not necessarily reflect the views and opinion of the editor, staff or advertisers in Steamboat’s Valley Voice.

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It Was the Best of Times By Debora Black

Page 31

A Good Friday

Page 32

Homeopathic Teething Products

Page 33

Your Monthly Message

Page 34

By Mandy Miller

By Chelsea Yepello

Comics Page 35

“I thought it would be easier”

Never Miss an Issue! Go Old School!

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Spring is nature’s way of saying, “Let’s party!”—Robin Williams


May 2017

Valley Voice

My Line

Patio Art

By Matt Scharf

By Cully Kistler

Hello Shorts!

Inspiration by the Yard

Hello All, I invite you to dive face first into our May edition of the Valley Voice. It’s a good un’ The cover this month is artwork titled “Concentration” by Taylor Kreissig. Taylor’s art is part of the new art exhibit by the Steamboat Springs High School Advanced Student Program. This exhibit starts May 5th as part of the Art Walk reception, at the Steamboat Springs Art Depot from 5pm to 8pm. Please make sure you stop by and see these talented artist’s work. We have a few new writers for the Valley Voice that will be joining us to bring you more variety in each issue. We are very excited to announce Debora Black, as she joins us with her new column “The Paw Print.” Look for her insight into some of our most beloved creatures…dogs. (Sorry cat people, it’s the dog’s turn) And for our upcoming summer editions, we have Nancy Spillane writing a series about health insurance and all the confusing, but necessary, wranglings that we American’s face today. Find her article on page 16. You will find that the Yampa Valley Health Care Action Group has information we all need to know. But whatever you do stay healthy! Now this is a fun one; pairing up Paulie Anderson and Cody Badaracca on the issues of house size. In this point counter-point approach, the boys have an insightful comparison of the two schools of thought. Does one go big? Or does one go small. For some, there is no compromise. Please enjoy their words on pages 12 and 13. Just don’t act like the biggest ape in the cave! I also want to thank Aimee Kimmey for taking over the duties of the subscription department for the Valley Voice. (You should see how big it is!) If you know any friends or family members that you think would enjoy, please e-mail her at for all the details. It’s only $40. per year! I also want to say an extra thanks to all of you for your contributions, submissions, art and love for the Valley Voice. ...And, yeah, I drew a bra on Howelsen Hill.

That’s not art...or is it? Last summer I had “painters block.” I usually have more ideas than time to do them all. What was wrong with me? I contacted my Santa Fe astrologer for answers. He said my chart indicated Saturn tied to Venus and the block was for a purpose. I had ordered gravel to level an area in my front yard for a patio. Three point eight tons of one inch rock dumped in my driveway. I moved it into the yard with either a shovel or a mop bucket. All the other materials like bricks, large rocks, sandstone, composite decking and boulders were scattered around the yard, an accumulation from 1990. A nautilus shell was my inspiration. The mathematical spiral that happens in nature and is my formula for

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

starting each composition on a canvas, I used it to start the design. The center of the patio is a beautiful piece of sandstone with rust colored swirls. Many times as I built the perfect stone was twenty feet away; Murphy’s Law of patio building. I rolled the rocks and boulders I could not lift. Getting “fed up” with myself and besides being exhausted, I’d quit and go inside. Thirty minutes later I would be back to the “patio”! I was obsessed. I could look down on the design from a deck above and see the perfect fit of a stone. It took me over a month to finish the job no one believes I did by myself. Being an artist is creating something in solitude, then sharing it. It can really only be seen from my deck. I enjoy sitting on the boulders, taking in the front yard view of downtown Steamboat. It’s springtime now and time to plan what to do with the back yard...or is it?

Valley Voice

May 2017


Economics Common Sense of Our Dollars and Cents

Let’s Stop Guessing about Steamboat Springs By Scott L. Ford

I am continuing my quest of encouraging public/private local leadership to stop guessing when we do not need to. The top guesses I have heard recently: • Steamboat Springs School District is the best school district in Colorado • Over 60% of the housing units are owned by folks that do not live in the Steamboat area • Visitors to Steamboat account for 85% of total sales tax collections • Most of the good jobs are mining jobs None of these are true. At best they represent well intended guesses about how someone felt at the moment. When it comes to data, I really do not care how folks feel. Simply put, facts are facts. Guessing about stuff that can be easily known and making policy decision using incorrect data can lead to major mistakes. Daniel Patrick Moynihan, a United States Senator from New York during the 70’s and 80’s, was fond of saying, “You are entitled to your opinion. But you are not entitled to your own facts.” I like to couple that quote with one from Mark Twain who said, “It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so.” A great place to help us stop guessing is to use US Census data to profile the communities that exist within Routt County. The Census aggregates data down to the Census County Division (CCDs). CCDs are serve no legal function, however, they do accurately define key social/economic characteristics of the population living in a CCD. In Routt County there are four CCDs • Hayden • Oak Creek • Steamboat Springs • Yampa

These CCDs share essentially the same boundaries of the three Routt County school districts: RE1=Hayden, RE2=Steamboat Springs and RE3 = Oak Creek/Yampa. Last month I profiled the Hayden CCD. This month I will focus on the Steamboat Springs CCD. This CCD has 17,272 of folks that call it home. This represents 73% of Routt County’s total population. These folks live in 6,767 households. Of these households 67% own and 33% rent. Statewide the split is 65% own and 35% rent. The Steamboat Springs CCD has a labor force participation rate of 77%. The labor force participation rate is simply the ratio of folks age 16+ who worked in the past 12 months compared to the total population age 16+. Nationally the participation rate is 63%. The top 3 private industry sectors that folks living in the Steamboat CCD are working in: Industry Sector Pct. of Total Employment A. Accommodation and food services 16.9% B. Health care and social assistance 12.6% C. Construction 9.1% TOTAL 38.6% If the total percentage of the top 3 ranked industry sectors is 50% or less, then it is a sign of economic diversity in sources of employment.   The top 3 private industry sectors that folks living in the Steamboat CCD received earnings from: Industry Sector Pct. of Total Earnings A. Health care and social assistance 17.2% B. Accommodation and food services 10.9% C. Construction 9.6% TOTAL 37.7% If the total percentage of the top 3 ranked industry sectors is 50% or less, then it is a sign of economic diversity in sources of earnings.

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In 2015 the Steamboat CCD collectively had a median household income of $67,577, which was about 4% higher than that of all Routt County and 10% higher than statewide. On an aggregate basis the households of this CCD received slightly over $611 million in income from all sources during 2015. Of this $611 million, 73% came from earnings associated with working either wage/ salary or self-employment. Of the employed persons age 16+ living in the Steamboat CCD, slightly over 50% work year-round (50+ weeks a year and full time (35+ hours per week). Folks in the Steamboat CCD commute on average 14.3 minutes per day to work. About 52% of the those that commute do so during a 90-minute period beginning at 7:00 am. On an aggregate basis, the working population of the Steamboat CCDs spend over 267,000 minutes each day commuting from home to work and back. About 93% of the employed population of the Steamboat CCD also live within the boundaries of the CCD About 77% do so by driving either a car/truck and of this percentage, 89% drove alone. About 56% of the folks age 25+ in the combined CCD have a BA/BS degree or better. Statewide this figure is slightly over 38%. Of the 17,272 - people living in the Steamboat CCD, about 93% were born in the United States and of that group only 35% were born somewhere in Colorado. There are 265 people who were born abroad of American parent(s). There are 1,288 people who were foreign born and of that number 33% are Naturalized U.S. citizens. The balance are legal residents of which about half were born in in Europe and half in Latin America.

Next Month – Understanding the sources of income for Routt County Households Note: • All data is from 2015 unless otherwise noted. • The following ACS Census Tables were use: DP03, B01003, S2403, S0801, B08066, B15003

Friends Don’t Let Friends Drive Buzzed! A good decision is based on knowledge and not on numbers. –Plato


May 2017

Valley Voice

Art in the ‘Boat

The Next Generation for Steamboat Artists By Dagny McKinley

challenge. For Noel Keeffe, the biggest challenge of art is to change the way someone sees photography. That can be a struggle. Struggle is a theme that also appears through several pieces of work. Channing Conner’s photography tells the story of someone’s life when they are going through a hard time. He hopes people will come away with the message “not to judge a book by its cover because you never know what people are struggling with inside.” To illustrate the interior struggles, he uses a ‘strip’ technique that he first saw on Pinterest. By watching Youtube videos he taught himself how to insert a black and white ‘strip’ through the image, where lines appear drawn not photographed. The strip looks like the torn page of a comic book, revealing something about the inner workings of the image. The effect is powerful. Artist Brittany Brown also wants to send a message. Her message is about how women are more than sexy; they are smart, too. From personal experience she has been subject to catcalls where the assumption is that she is pretty and not smart, which is one of the reasons she is including quotes from classic literature she read in her AP English class last year. She pairs women in bars or in certain outfits holding books. Like Channing, she wants people to know there is more than meets the eye.

Meg Anderson - “Alone - Holding On” Freedom, expression, authentic, creative, meaningful, beauty, exquisite, tantalizing, and unique are all words that the Steamboat Springs High School (SSHS) AP Art students used to describe what art means to them. At the same time those words could be used to describe their selection of art that will be hanging in the Steamboat Springs Art Depot for the month of May. The show opens with a reception May 5th from 5-8 p.m. This is the third year the SSHS students have shown their work at the Steamboat Springs Art Depot. However, this is the first year their work will be featured in the main gallery as well as the baggage room. The focus of the show is the students’ Concentration Portfolio, which is a collection of thematic images that are purely the student’s choice. They have been working on their portfolios for three months with critiques once a week. The result is a body of work that takes the viewer into the overlooked details of life, immerses us into landscapes that inspire, makes us question what we are looking at and even question how we look at people.

Energy is a popular theme in the show, whether through the flow of water, the movement of flames, the speed of a plane, through music or even how we move. Sedona Lewis’ collection explores the energy with which we express ourselves through our hands by means of drawing, sculpting, praying or creating. To get the effect she wanted, she used an app to represent the colors of energy paired with black and white photographs. Capturing the right moment or finding the right app for the story an artist wants to tell can be a

Some of the artists are only beginning to realize their talent while others have been drawing or photographing for years. Liam Hahn, 18, has already launched a photography & video business, Hahn Film Productions, where he focuses on corporate videos and some winter sports subjects. His collection for the May show takes the viewer into the heart of winter through high dynamic range (HDR) photography. Nate Roach also focuses on nature images, telling the story of the Steamboat landscape to those who have never been here before and those who are familiar with the colors and curves of Steamboat’s sunrises and sunsets. The images of nature evokes the energy of Northwest Colorado.

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

Where and what you focus on in an image is just as important as what the image is, and serves as the exploration point for Meagan Skolnick’s work, where she blurs certain aspects of an image and brings others into focus. Focal points, illusion and transformation thread through many of the student’s art pieces. Bryan Gilbertson uses digital manipulations to create alternate realities in his work. “What you see is not what everything is,” he said. “It’s cool to be in control of that.” His images range from fun to creepy (his words). Wyatt Reynolds took a lighter take on illusion, finding funny faces in inanimate objects. Colton Pasternak chose double exposures to show “how we connect with the outdoors and how it becomes part of us. I’m not the

“A Burning Flame” - Matthew Hansen

Valley Voice

most creative person,” Colton said, “But photographing lets me show a different side of myself that I don’t normally show.” Mathew Hansen also used double exposures to represent how our phones have become our portal into reality. Through macro lenses, Julia Congdon was able to find the tiny, pretty details in everyday things such as paper towels, ice and a French press. Rolled Universe, Ben Larsen’s collection, makes people reflect and think about everyday items in a way that “invokes feeling and confusion.” Part of the beauty of different lenses, filters and apps is that photographers can stretch their creativity into realms not possible before. Meg Anderson was inspired by street photography. Her images come from Chicago and Steamboat, but she wanted to make them more emotional and to tie the two landscapes together. Through an app on her iPhone, she created a painted effect for her images. However, with the filter, some of the images she was attached to weren’t as strong as others. “The hard part was letting go,” she said. Photography presents the artists with challenges and rewards. Kieran Hahn uses images to express thoughts without words and to capture moments forever. Kayla Haggarty uses photography to freeze time. Taylor Rogers, who is not a huge fan of winter, used photography to find some beauty in it, tracing the lines of the snow to mimic the naked form. Invoking feeling is something visual artist Athena Marsh does well. Her collection illustrates phobias. With a distinct style to her work, Athena explores fear of death, bugs, animals, touch, public speaking, claustrophobia and more. Addison Sandvik’s ‘String Man’ evokes the feeling of being alone. ‘The string man feels lonely all the time so he’s not really always together,” said Addison. “He’s always wandering (through cityscapes). My pieces show him latching onto things so he feels more bound. He latches on to the environment, but when I put other people in my pieces he stays away from them.”

May 2017


Untitled - Ben Larsen

“Transformation” - Sedona Lewis Kayla Hernandez draws because it is “the one thing I could do without worrying if it was good enough or wasn’t good enough.” Skylar Leeson doodles. In 4th grade, her bedroom was covered from floor to ceiling in tiny little drawings and doodles. When she discovered photography she found “an easy way to express what you see in the world and show what goes on in my head in a creative way.” Her collection incorporates her love of doodling with photography, a merging of her two passions through images where the doodles continue the story of the photograph. For many of these artists, the inspiration to draw, to create and to photograph came from their grandparents or parents. Sometimes family heritage served as the inspiration. Cody Meyers’ photography is inspired by the woodshop he shares with his father. Wood working is a skill passed down by his grandfather to his father and now to him. Cassett Yaeger was inspired by the ranching side of her family even though she grew up removed from it. “You can take a walk or drive and can capture some of the most beautiful aspects of the world,” she said.

“Craving Emancipation” - Channing Conner

This May we get to experience the beauty, confusion, curiosity and explorations of the next generation of Steamboat artists. Looking at their work, you wouldn’t know the artists were sixteen to eighteen years old. Their work tells stories as old as time, universal struggles and celebrations of beauty. Don’t miss this show.

“Addison Walk” - Addison Sandvik Every artist dips his brush in his own soul, and paints his own nature into his pictures. –Henry Ward Beecher


May 2017

Valley Voice

Bonnifield Files

Those Damn Hippies at Oak Creek: Part I By Ellen & Paul Bonnifield

mines in Routt County closed. Houses in Mt. Harris, once the largest town in the county, were either moved or destroyed. The coal mining camps of White City, Haybro, Keystone, Moffat Circle, and Pinnacle disappeared. Unable to compete with large operations in the Northwest and South, local sawmills shut down. Cattle prices dropped and starvation ranchers starved out. Phippsburg was a lively railroad town until the Denver & Rio Grande closed the shops, round house, and switch yards. Although usually not realized, Routt County was more depressed in the 1950s than in the 1930s.

The decades of the 1960s and 70s witnessed the greatest social upheaval of the Twentieth century. Rebellion came in many forms. Men allowed their hair to grow shoulder length and wore full beards. Straight, or non hippie, men had crew cuts and were clean shaven. Ladies wore miniskirts the size of head bands and refused to wear bras. They demanded the right to work in “men only” jobs and professions. Civil rights protesters held sit-ins, rode busses, marched, and burned cities. The endless Cold War with its nuclear threat and the seemingly endless Vietnam War were heavy burdens. College students protested for or against anything and everything. Hard drugs replaced alcohol as the “screw up” of choice. Birth control pills gave women new and exciting freedom. Music, language, and literature were completely reworked. Hippies came in all shades, energy, and vision. Some only wanted to get high on drugs and drop out. Others were filled with zeal to make the world more peaceful with equal justice and opportunity. The majority were simply fledglings learning to fly on their own. Opposing the hippies was a strong group of men and women ready to fight for the old ways. The complex mix found its way to the little town of Oak Creek, Colorado. Oak Creek’s history made it an ideal haven for marching out-of-step. Following World War II, Routt County flourished for a brief time. Coal mines were working, sawmills were busy, cattle and sheep prices were high, tourism was growing, and the future looked bright. Then housewives refused to cook over hot coal stoves, clean out ashes and scrub down coal smoked walls. Modern cities used clean natural gas for cook stoves, central heating, and air conditioning. Railroads shifted from coal-fired steam locomotives to diesel power. From 1950 to 1958 all the large underground coal

A combination of federal assistance through the Appalachian programs to assist depressed mining areas, changing Forest Service polices, and private investment fostered the booming ski industry in the West. Steamboat Springs, with able leadership from local ranchers and businessmen, rode the wave of winter sports and resort communities. Routt County had a new beginning which did not look or feel like the old way of life. Not everyone approved of the change. The ski bums who came were not always welcome, but they were fun.

all the details; however, he makes it clear that among hard core hippies, drug use and sale was a way of life. Sex was a norm. County law enforcement was relaxed. The serious drug market was in Steamboat, with more money and a huge demand for the product among the skiers who came to play on the slopes by day and get high at night. Steamboat also had its Pillow Room, where a person could find a free night’s lodging with no separation by gender. It was in a back room bar behind a street front business. A person simply found a pillow and lay down when the bartender closed and went home. Returning in the morning to clean up, he found the guests were gone. It was also something of a sports event for the sheriff’s posse to raid the Strawberry Park hot springs while the hippies were enjoying a nude-in. Hippie life in Oak Creek had other dimensions. Cargo describes it. She first came to Oak Creek with the band Corn Bread and planned to stay only three days. It was Thanksgiving and the hippies planned a common dinner in the basement of the Methodist Church. (Pastor George Purvis believed it was easier to reach a person by reaching out than drawing back.) Cargo did not have any money and did not know anyone, but she went into Maynarich’s store where they gave her credit to buy food. “Hell, now I had to get a job to pay the bill.” She went to the Colorado Bar and talked to Bessie Dallas. Bessie already had Jack Crawford, but Bessie, who could never say no to a person in need, hired Cargo. “Hell,” Cargo said, “no one had ever been that nice to me.” Forty years later she is still in Oak Creek. Pat Crawford also found a special place. She has fond memories of accompanying three older women to the horse races in Craig. Pat said, “We were just young people being young people.”

A large contingent of ski bums stoutly proclaimed they were not hippies. They were ski bums who migrated to the newly minted ski areas to play, ski, and, if necessary, work. Some like Dinty and Noreen Moore came as ski bums, opened a thriving pizza business in Oak Creek, and became well-respected citizens of the county. Most ski bums believed it was only a temporary phase in their lives – a pause to sow their wild oats. Realizing ski bums added spice to life and attracted paying skiers from around the world, ski area managers welcomed and tolerated the free-living youth. Wages were low and cheap rent was available in Oak Creek, with empty houses where coal miners once lived. The community had a long and proud history of tolerance toward characters who lived a song that was out of tune. Thus, Oak Creek’s ski bums became the vanguard for the hippies who found their nesting place to sing, play, ski and get high. Harold Brink’s book, Come Down to the River: A Memoir of Adventure, is an excellent comment on the life of hippies, and his section describing Oak Creek provides a look into the hard core. For obvious reasons, in some sections he uses assumed names and does not provide

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

Oak Creek had both a men’s and women’s slow pitch soft ball league (sixteen teams). With a smile, Sandy Wisecup proudly states, “I was the cleanup batter on a hippie team.” As a girl on Trout Creek, Sandy learned to bat with an old pick handle; All she and her siblings had to play with was a pick handle and a makeshift ball. She had powerful shoulder and back muscles. During haying, she picked up 60- to 70-pound bales and threw them up six tiers on top of a pickup. When playing on the team, Sandy didn’t know how a batter was expected to stand, so she stood straight up with a heavy bat resting on her shoulder. When the pitch was thrown, especially a little outside, Sandy had the power, wrist action, and eye to send the ball deep into left field for a home run. Her back and shoulder muscles were so bound up she could not throw overhanded. When she played outfield, she’d “sling” the ball underhanded and pick off runners at home plate. Sandy was a straight person (non-hippie) on a hippie team with an unorthodox way of playing. She fit perfectly on a championship team where everyone was out-of-tune, but somehow made perfect music. More hippie stories next month.

Valley Voice


May 2017

News in Brief

Go Figure!?

Library Thanks Vehicles By The Numbers By Scott L. Ford the Pilcrow 2016 Routt County Vehicle Registration by Type Foundation Submitted by Hayden Public Library Public Utility




Special Use Truck


Bus Commercial Trailer




Mobile Machinery Farm Truck Recreational Truck

1,002 1,440



Light Truck




Routt County Passenger Vehicles and Population Age 16+

The library hosted a special Story Hour for the community on Friday, April 21st; several books from the grant award were read and checked out. Stop by the library to check out the great selection. The link to the Pilcrow website:







Hayden Public Library was awarded a grant from the Pilcrow Foundation. This grant was made possible by donations of $400 from local businesses, Friends of the Library and the Babson Carpenter Civic Foundation. The grant provided $1,200 in beautiful hardback picture books. The library received 71 children’s, juvenile fiction and non-fiction books, which included some Spanish books. An additional 24 math and science books were provided by a generous donation from Mr. Hal Berenson and Mrs. Laura Ackerman.




The Pilcrow Foundation supports rural public library communities through their Children’s Book Project. Libraries who apply are asked to partner with their Friends’ clubs, or other local sponsors, to raise one third of the funds used to purchase the new books in order to build community investment in children’s literacy and the library’s future. The new books provided through the Children’s Book Project become part of the library’s permanent children’s book collection, thus ensuring children’s access to quality books for years to come.








13,000 12,000















Passenger Vehicles 13,759

14,172 14,698

15,061 15,562

16,255 15,999 15,869


16,743 16,835 17,450


Population Age 16+ 17,263

17,438 17,842

18,297 18,724

19,074 19,158 19,023


19,323 19,662 19,889



Hayden Public Library

Go Figure? is sponsored by Rocky Mountain Remedies Proudly supporting alternative modalities in medicine and media. Guess what, I might be the first hippie pinup girl. –Janis Joplin


May 2017

Beer of the Month:

Valley Voice

I’m Yukon Cornelius. Avery BumblesYoutrusted might remember me as friend from the Arctic. I got word that someone kidnapped my dear friend and I rushed to Steamboat Springs, from the Arctic, to help Mark and Mimi find him.

‘Boat Almanac

Pollen: Plant Sex 101 By Karen Vail


Thursday - Saturday: 10am - 11pm Sunday - Wednesday: 10am - 10pm

Bike Tune Ups, Get it done before Spring

1136 Yampa Street • 970.879.2957 This is a scanning electron microscope image of pollen grains from a variety of common plants: sunflower (Helianthus annuus), morning glory (Ipomoea purpurea), prairie hollyhock (Sidalcea malviflora), oriental lily (Lilium auratum), evening primrose (Oenothera fruticosa), and castor bean (Ricinus communis). William Crochot - Source and public domain notice at Dartmouth Electron Microscope Facility

Paulie’s new office.

It is early morning, you are still half asleep on your way to work when you realize that your vision is really foggy this morning. Shaking your head and looking again through your car’s windshield, it dawns on you that it is May and the fogginess is a powdery pollen coating your car and everything else. Welcome to pollenville!

trees (Gymnosperms) offer, and flowers (Angiosperms). The newly evolved plants that bore pollen also offered protection to their offspring after fertilization in the form of hard, protective seeds. Voila, new land plant species ushering in the age of our modern day flowering plants that dominate our landscapes.

You may curse that yellow cloud, but without pollen we, and most of life, would not be here. Pollen is highly evolved plant sex in a protective miniaturized case. Let’s go back around 375 million years ago to a very different world. The Earth was warming and the first land plants appeared: mosses, ferns and our early trees, and very late in this time period the first seed plants came on the scene. Primitive plants (non seed-bearing plants) depended on water during some stage of their life to reproduce; the plant sperm needed moisture to be able to move to the female. Then the world changed. Things got warmer and drier and plants needed to adapt to this more hostile environment. Now there was no moist environment to safely pass their plant sperm to the egg. The sperm had never been exposed to the air or harsh environmental conditions in their short journey. But because plants are firmly rooted (no pun intended) they now, in this new environment, could not achieve the cross-fertilization so necessary for the health and vigor of the species. So they enclosed their reproductive structures in protective tissues that could withstand heat and dryness. These new structures were produced in cones, like our conifer

Pollen grains are, in essence, plant sperm containing the male portion of DNA. We tend to think of pollen as being yellow, but it is also white, brown, red or purple. Pollen grains are formed in anther sacs at the tip of a slender “stem”, the filament. The anther and filament make up the male stamen. Each pollen grain is exceptionally designed for its one purpose in life: to get sperm to the female egg. The outer pollen grain wall, the exine, is composed of sporopollenin, one of the toughest substances in the plant world. This structure makes the sporopollenin shell extremely resistant to enzyme attacks and provides incredible preservation of the grain. So much so that we use pollen as a spore fossil record dating back millions of years, allowing us to determine the evolution of nonflowering and flowering plants as well as the environment they lived in, then later how and when land was used as cropland that returned to meadow or forest. The exine shell can also have elaborate “decorations” on the surface, many of which are designed to help the pollen grain get to where it needs to go. Many cling to bee bodies, bird feathers or animal fur. The pollen of our conifers (spruce, fir and pine) have “wings” to disperse on the wind, whereas

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

Valley Voice

This scanning electron microscope image shows bee pollen studied for potential use as electrodes for lithium-ion batteries. color was added to the original black-and-white image. Credit: (purdue university image/ jialiang tang) grass pollen grains are super light and smooth to float on the wind. Ah, yes, our horrible spring allergies. The inner layer of the pollen wall, the intine, surrounds the vegetative cell where the sperm nuclei and tube nuclei reside. Later, the intine will protect the sperm cells during pollen germination. Keep reading and all will be revealed! So, now we have a super tough container protecting the male plant sperm that needs to get to a female, land on the stigma, grow a pollen tube down to the ovule and fertilize the egg. Each pollen grain contains two sperm nuclei and one tube nucleus. When a pollen grain lands on the surface of a stigma, chemicals contained on and within the surface of the pollen grain trigger a signal from the stigma. If the stigma recognizes the chemical signals, the pollen grain will be accepted and begin the race, usually in competition with hundreds, even thousands, of other accepted pollen grains, to be the first to deliver its sperm cells to an ovule. But first, the sperm cells have to get through that super tough pollen wall. When the pollen grain contacts the stigma, it absorbs moisture allowing the intine (the inner wall) to expand at a specific spot and the intine forced its way out. This is the beginning of the pollen tube which grows down the style (the long stalk below the sticky stigma) and carries the sperm cells down to the ovules. Pollen tube cells are the fastest growing of all plant cells because there is fierce competition to be the first to the ovule. Some pollen tubes are incredibly long, such as corn, which must traverse through that long strand of silk hanging off

May 2017

the end of the cob (8 to 10 inches!), and grow down to the ovule, our kernel of corn. Another “check” is done before the tube reaches the ovule; if the pollen is the wrong type it will be rejected. If a pollen grain successfully begins that journey down the style, the flower is considered “pollinated”. As soon as the pollen tube reaches the ovule and the sperm nuclei fuses with the egg, the ovule is considered “fertilized”. Plant sex 101! As well as being many colors, pollen grains are also amazing in their diversity of sizes, shapes and textures. There seems to be no correlation between the size of a plant and the size of pollen it produces. The smallest pollen comes from forget-me-nots (Myosotis sp.) and many orchid species. Many are smooth, like the wind-carried grasses and conifers. Others have spikes, ridges, wings and slits and are shaped like footballs, soccer balls, boats and blobs. Take a look at this National Geographic photo gallery for some AMAZING pollen pictures: oeggerli-photography#/06-clover-714.jpg. Pollen can be wafted on the wind, carried by water or shuttled around by a variety of critters. This might sound like pretty poor odds for success, which is why plants, particularly Gymnosperms, produce a lot of pollen. In order for plants to successfully spread their pollen, many coevolved with other critters to get the job done efficiently and more frequently. Pollinators can be as tiny as the fig wasp, only about 6/100 of an inch, or as large as the black and white ruffed lemur from Madagascar. Our more com-


mon pollinators include all manner of bees, wasps, ants, beetles, butterflies, hummingbirds and bats. In flowering plants, those with the tastiest pollen were more likely to succeed and have an evolutionary edge over the less tasty flowers. Of course flowers also lure pollinators in myriad other ways; shape, colors and scent being a few. A flower wants a pollinator to visit, then leave with a mass of pollen on its body and visit another flower of the same species. Plants use trickery to move their pollen around. Orchids are the ultimate deceivers of the plant world. They waft insect pheromones, an aphrodisiac for a certain male pollinator, that lures frenzied males to the flower. After unsuccessfully “mating” with the orchid and getting one or two blobs of pollen on their bodies, they are lured to the next beguiling orchid smelling of love where they leave a pollen packet. At the opposite end of the spectrum are the carrion flowers, smelling just like rotting flesh. Yucky pooh!! Who is the lucky pollinator for these flowers? Flies and beetles, which love a good rotten meal or use dead things to lay their eggs on. The flower parts are often heated through chemical reactions to make the scent even more divine and carry further through the forest. Pollinators are also attracted to sweet nectar, often located in strategically located nectaries. To access their treats; the insects must brush against the stamens and stigmas, gaining pollen or leaving pollen in the process. If you Googled anything “pollen,” you are likely to come up with a multitude of allergen sites. It is the non-showy plants such as trees, grasses and many insignificant weeds that produce this seasonal agony. High allergen plants produce small, lightweight wind-carried pollen. Ragweed pollen grains (did just mentioning it make you sneeze?) have been collected 400 miles out to sea and 2 miles up in the air! Sorry, but it is hard to escape this pollen producer in late summer. Pollen grains also need to have the right proteins that trigger irritation to sensitive tissues. Other plants that fit the allergen bill are sagebrush, redroot pigweed, lamb’s quarters, Russian thistle and English plantain. Achoo! Bless you! In forensic biology, pollen offers a lot of clues about where a person or object has been. Regions of the world, or even as specific as a certain bush, have distinct collections of plant species producing pollen. Using this pollen collection can tell a technician when an object or person was there. There is a proposal to add distinctive pollens to bullets to enable tracking them. Vilas Pol, an associate professor in the School of Chemical Engineering and the School of Materials Engineering at Purdue University, and his associates are testing certain pollen grains as anodes in lithium batteries. The pollen grains would replace the graphite which is commonly used today. Now there is something to get sparked about! Welcome spring with a hike full of pollinators! See you on the trails!

You can cut all the flowers but you cannot keep spring from coming. –Pablo Neruda


May 2017

Valley Voice

Paulie Sez

Tiny House, Big Livin’

By Paulie Anderson

house them.) I sold my house last June. It was a 1,098 square foot house on three Oak Creek lots with a 2-car, detached garage, carport, 144 square foot greenhouse, 300 square feet of gardens, three cars, two trailers, seven bikes, and all the required tools to fix each item such a palace contained. I now have four bikes, (one is in storage), one truck, one kayak, one trailer (the one I live in), a 10 x 10 storage unit, and most of the tools I need for work and play. I became lighter more mobile, and the itch to live the siminomadic retirement lifestyle grew with every layer I shed. The desire to DO rather than read about adventure took over my very being. The back story is not important, but the big story is tiny. My current abode stretches a whoppin’ 17 feet from the rear bumper to the tip of the tongue, while the inside is a scant 12 feet 7 inches long, 6 feet 3 inches wide, and 5 feet 11 inches tall in the low part (6’ 1” on either side of the air conditioner.) It’s shaped kind of like an egg and reminds me of a mobile Hobbit hole. Indeed, my retirement dream come true. Though I have never watched any of the TV shows or documentaries on the tiny house movement (I probably should), I understand that there are people who go into your current, oversized carbon footprint, and tell you what you have to ditch, burn, sell, donate, go without or store someplace. I didn’t have any advice, so I did it the only way I know how: The hard way. Trial and error. It’s the only way to learn and make it stick as far as I’m concerned. I purchased my ’98 Scamp trailer last summer and began the process of learning how to use it, maximize the space and enjoy what creature comforts it could afford. Which, I may add, are more than some that I have had in dwellings much larger and firmly attached to Mother Earth and the civilized infrastructure of modern society. The paring down process started about a year before I acquired my new tiny home, and is still in progress today. I can see what a shock to the system it would be to have to ditch everything one is used to in one fell swoop, though taking it slow allowed me the mental space to adjust to a new style of keeping the needs and foregoing so many wants. It is quite cathartic I have to say. I’ll throw in a little perspective here, just to give you an idea of how much junk I had to off. (And yes, there are things I miss, but nothing that can’t be replaced. Oh, my books. I do miss my books and all the shelves I built to

I need to qualify this whole retirement deal to avoid giving the wrong impression. I don’t have the money to do a real retirement, so I occasionally retire to create something new. Change. Grow. Learn. Play. I have a firm belief that the best things in life come when one retires, so I am currently working on an organic farm on the Front Range, living the life of a documented migrant farm worker and learning a new trade. (The produce growing here will be available through Steamboat’s Community Agriculture Alliance. Look for the Kilt Farm logo!) I’ll work here through mid-June, then head off to California to do a story on the Trimigrant phenomenon occurring there since the legalization of medical marijuana. Secretly, the California story is just an excuse to go ride the awesome trails in the Donner Pass area, but don’t tell. The numerous challenges that come with such condensed living are many. The water we take for granted in our land-implanted, grid-based home, all has to be carried in whatever storage the trailer has to hold. (See side bar for stats.) The Scamp can be hooked up to city water and sewage, but I have yet to stay in an area that offers such amenities. The on-board power is 12-volt, solar charged or a 120-volt system that can run all the modern goodies like the TV, fridge and all my gear. A 1,000 watt Honda generator powers the big stuff when I’m unable to tie into a local power supply. Heat. Such a pleasure. I began my journey in February, when Colorado is still in the grip of Ullr’s icy fist. There is little or no insulation on the drainage pipes that run underneath, so frigid nights mean no water. Lines have to be cleared to avoid costly breakage and bathroom needs have to be altered to accommodate the lack of storage. Plans can be made, but change is the only constant. Adaptation is key, and having the right tools to fix whatever problem arises is of paramount importance. I

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

Scamper Specs: 80 Sq.ft.

. Shower . Toilet . 2 burner stove . Sink . Single bed . Television with digital antenna . Refrigerator Operates on 12 volt, . 120 volt or propane . Above table storage . Below bed storage . Pantry . Below fridge storage . Below sink storage . Junk Drawer . Junk shelf (Custom rain gutter style) . 16 Gallons of water (10 cold, 6 hot) . Blackwater storage (8 gal.) . Graywater storage (20 gal.) . Propane (2 tanks) . 12-volt marine style battery

have lost the refrigerator, woken up to frozen tanks, a dead battery, a broken drain pump, blown fuses and run out of water during showers. The mess factor is one worthy of note. Coming home to a sprawling abode is easy when you can kick off your filthy shoes in the mud room, toss your wet jacket on the back of a couch, throw your keys on the counter, walk past the sink full of pots and pans from last night’s feast before you grab the remote to watch your silly reruns of Friends. The mess in a tiny home comes when you set your mug on the table. If dirty clothes aren’t stashed in the proper spot, you can’t walk past them, they just become the flooring. No counter space means cooking has to be done thoughtfully and cleanup has to be completed before the space can be repurposed. Every aspect of the tiny area is multi-purpose. The tiny house movement is huge. Steamboat is in the process of figuring out how to allow for this fad and I hope they can create a successful, affordable and viable method to make this happen. I would like nothing more than to come back to our beloved Valley and have a place to subvert the high cost of Steamboat rent and still be within biking distance of work. Perhaps even making it easier for someone else by paying rent to a homeowner who wants to offset their expenses, thereby filling in the gap of mobility and affordability. Being transient doesn’t necessarily mean being trashy. Providing a spot for a small footprint is a big step towards accommodating the inevitable growth while using the infrastructure already in place. To Be Continued…

Valley Voice

May 2017


Cody Sez

Giant Homes By Cody Badaracca

The bleeding hearts keep saying that we, as a species, need to downsize and I say phooey! The human creature did not become the victors by downsizing anything. I believe Texas might have a word or two in this conversation. We should upgrade our carbon footprints to carbon tank-treads. We need giant homes. Make ‘em big. Bigger than big! Make ‘em ‘UUUGE. Now this all may come across as crass ramblings from the Abyss. But look at the rhetorical facts: - People are everywhere. The human population is growing, (7.5 billion currently, give or take) and as it continues, real estate and resources becomes increasingly precious. Various populations are rubbing up against each other. A giant home gives you that peace of mind that you have yours, plus a little wiggle room for the spawn you plan (or don’t plan) to have.

While going to school in Nashville, I made friends with a good ol’ boy named Hunter. Hunter comes from hardworking Southern roots and is a hardworking man who’s done pretty well for himself. And his name is apropos since Hunter’s main passion in life is duck hunting. Put verbosely, Hunter “enforced gravity upon those smug-ass waterfowl who think they’re better than everyone else because they can fly, via small chunks of metal and propellant.” One day, Hunter turns to me and says, in that deep Tennessee brogue of his, “Cody. I buh-lieve the man who dies with the most stuff, wins.” And that was it. We went back to doing something manly like cooking dead animal and drinking. It’s taken me a long time to accept that adage. The more I mire into the rich, black existential silt at the bottom, the more I believe it. One need only look to human history for verification. Who died with the most stuff? The victorious. Pharaohs, kings, czars, Caesars: the biggest ape in the cave. All left behind their stuff and their glorious sarcophaguses. I suppose it makes sense. In that finicky evolutionary trade-off of giving up hair and teeth and claws and prehensile tails (which I would love to still have, personally), we got stuff. Tools and stuff. Art and stuff. Other people and stuff. And the more of the stuff you have, the better off you are. Of course, in an effort to maintain and protect your stuff from other would-be victors, one needs a cage in which to store these valuables. A castle, a palace, a home. A real big one too. Preferably on a ridge that has a good vantage point to look out across the expanse of the valley through its giant windows. Something everybody will notice and say, “ Ooohwee. THAT is a big house.” Something with a multitude of rooms for guests and their guests. Or the ghosts of guests. Something that has those fancy extras like a sunroom and a sauna. And a half-bathroom in the garage. One that uses multiple sheets of plywood, 2x4s, 2x6s, and some big gnarly, Microlam 2x12s for headers.

- Big homes are already a trend. According to a 2016 post by the American Enterprise Institute, the average American home size has increased about 1,000 feet since 1973. “Over the last 42 years, the average new US house has increased...from an average size of 1,660 square feet in 1973 (earliest year available from the Census Bureau) to 2,687 square feet last year.”* An increase of roughly 62%, according to the AEI. And while the house size has increased, the average American household (people living within a home) has decreased from roughly 3 people per household in 1973 to 2.5 people in 2016.

- The End: At 7.5 billion and growing, our species’ demise is just a matter of time. Inevitable infrastructural collapse, depletion of resources, climate change, pseudo-despots with grand masonry plans and the collective ethos that we, as a species, are entitled to this world doesn’t spell longevity. Eventually it will reach a saturation point. Sooner rather than later, probably. So the bigger we build, the more resources we use, the sooner we can get to a modest proposal like cannibalism. I’ve always wondered what peppered human heart tastes like with a good Grenache. Perhaps that’s dour. I take it as good news. The Earth is one tough mother, and will continue in some capacity after the loam swallows us and our lack of tails. Time’s linear march (or cyclical, depending on your philosophical point of view) rolls on and some sort of pristine state will overcome the earth. Again, and again, and again. So let’s continue the trend of our ancestors and leave evidence we were here? The Ancients did it on a magnificent geometric scale that we could only dream of matching. At the very least, let’s leave our successors - whatever tenacious opposable thumbed creature fills our stead - massive enigmatic shells and artifacts upon which to ponder. My bets are on the Raccoons. SOURCES: * **

“With the average new house in the US getting larger in size at the same time that American households are getting smaller, the square footage of living space per person in a new US house has increased...from 551 to 1,058 square feet using the average size house. In percentage terms, that’s a 92% increase for both the median or average house size per person. Amazingly, the average amount of living space per person in a new house has nearly doubled in just the last 42 years!”* Folks: think of what we can do nowadays with almost double the living space of our parents and grandparents. We can play handball in the living room. Dance waltzes with nobody in particular to Strauss’ An der schönen blauen Donau, or best of all, do home additions!

r ffe al O BO R U

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a T get for and up i n F Wi U* Sig ed OK nag EE R Ma FR

Coming Soon ….Zirkel TV….

970-871-8500 Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic………

- Godzilla: Let’s get real for a second. It is only a matter of time before this international threat crosses the Pacific. The Japanese have done a valiant job of keeping this reptilian terror at bay, (in part, because of Tokyo’s gigantic buildings, I might add). The Shinjuku ward of Tokyo even nominated the monster as a cultural ambassador of the country**. But how would the untrammeled tracts of the American Midwest hold against this scaly behemoth? Think of all those quaint, prairie farmhouses and trailer parks under its foot like so many Legos scattered across a kitchen’s peeling linoleum floor? Which, in turn, is only going to piss off Ol’ Gojira even more. Big homes, while certainly not stopping the beast, can perhaps slow him down enough for Americans to exodus and climb the walls South and North of the border.

*12 month contract required.Terms and condi5ons apply condi5ons

Arthur C. Clarke


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One Stop Shopping! Contrasting styles is always the most fun to watch. –Richard Krajicek


May 2017

Valley Voice

Routt County Disasters

I am a Friend of Billy the K. By Lyn Wheaton

Skiers Anonymous: A 10 Step Program. The First Step is ADMITTING YOU NEED A PASS. Step 2: Admit you are powderless and your life has become unmanageable. It is impossible to focus on anything else in your life. Friendships suffer, bills go unpaid, you lose your job and you don’t care—you are powerless when powderless. You deny it’s the Pow that has you in its grips but we all know denial is just another River, kind of like the Yampa. Use this handy checklist to determine the depths of your depravity. 1. You often use code words to normalize your addiction. For example, you call in sick and invoke the “powder clause.” Or… when asked, you innocently state that you were out “making a few turns” when in reality you were lost in the trees with no desire to be found. 2. You can’t be productive at work unless you get on that mountain and do a few runs. You’re snow blind -- drawn to the fluffy white stuff like some crazed drug addict -- a few bumps before work and you’ll be fine. Just fine.

3. Soon a few bumps turn into many bumps. (The progressive nature of the disease) 4. The Lines you’ve cut in the snow, all before 10 in the morning… first tracks they call it, are becoming an obsession. You chase, but will never achieve, the feeling you had the first time you experienced the perfectly carved rails. 5. You start lying to your friends and family to cover up the fact that your paycheck is dwindling. You make lame excuses: it’s a ski town, work is slow, nobody came into the restaurant all last week. People look at you funny and you get paranoid. You start hiding your ski and boarding apparatus under the seat of your car. 6. You skulk through Ski Time Square with a scarf over your head and a balaclava covering your face like a burqa, to prevent any possible recognition. With goggles down, you look like a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle. You are a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, Goddamnit! 7. Your nose runs - it’s perpetually red and chapped. You tell everyone you must be getting a cold. 8. You check for remnants of powder on your face in your car mirror before finally dragging into the office.

If any or all of the above applies to you, do the following: Step 3: Come to the realization that a Powder greater than the one yesterday is the only the thing that can restore you to your sanity. Step 4: Make the decision to turn your will over to the hill Step 5: Take a searching and fearless inventory of your shortcomings. Are your turns tight enough? Are you controlling your speed? How are you at sharing a Gondi or chair with others? Do you hold your own on ice? Do you throw a temper tantrum when you don’t ski as well as you did the previous day? Are you really pushing yourself? Were you short-fused when your favorite trail was closed? Do you ignore the “Slow Down Buckaroos” sign, just to show-up the beginners, gapers, and little children? Step 6: Admit to yourself and all of your friends how crappy you have skied. Step 7: Now ask for greater Powder to come and remove all these obstacles. Step 8: Make a list of all the friends you have lost because of the No Friends on Powder days pledge and buy them a beer. Step 9: Make amends to all the lesser skiers and gapers you blew by yesterday and left in your powder. The best way to do this is: allow them to pass you once or twice, kind of like a pool shark, before you blow by them and once again beat them to the lift. Apologize profusely in the lift line for the dusting you gave them. Step 10: Continue to take a Personal Inventory and when you are wrong, promptly take a Face Shot. This is a progressive disease and cannot be cured in any ordinary sense of the term. Total abstinence is usually the only way to stay clean (and warm and dry). If you relapse and find yourself at A-Basin or Loveland, don’t beat yourself up. Withdrawal is never easy, especially when you still have friends deep into their addiction. Find a meeting right away. Use this daily prayer to remain strong: God grant me the serenity To accept the beings I have estranged, The courage to rearrange the things I can (to go skiing) And the wisdom to grow indifferent. Remember, One Day at a Time And keep working out, it only works if you work out! Shredders - Please attend Shredders Anonymous Family members can also seek support at: SkiAnon, ShredAnon and Adult Children of Ski Bums

Photo by Christina Uhl

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

Valley Voice

May 2017

Tales from the Front Desk


20 minutes west of Steamboat Springs in Hayden

Ear Plugs By Aimee Kimmey

The story you are about to read is true... more or less. Thursday, 10:48 p.m., Room 161.

She flings herself to the other side of the bed, pulling the hotel pillow over her head. The sound is muffled, but how long can she stay like this? She grabs another pillow. The sound nearly fades. How can she make this stick? ... Rrmmmmmm... She shifts slightly, the pillow slips away from her ears. The droning hum attacks her again. Six hours and seven minutes... ... Rrmmmmmm... This is insufferable. She has to do something! She gets up and flips on the light. Maybe the hotel management can stop this racket. She pulls on her robe and cinches it tight. She shoves her feet into her shoes and grabs her room key. ... Rrmmmmmm... “You’ve got to do something! It’s right outside my window!” The woman from 161 pleads with the gal at the front desk. “I’m sorry, it belongs to another guest. There’s nothing I can do.” She shrugs apologetically.

... Rrmmmmmm...

“What about earplugs? Cotton? Anything. I have to get to sleep!”

The woman rolls over in her bed yet again. She’s been tossing and turning for nearly a half hour now. She has six hours and twelve minutes before the alarm screams for her to wake up. And yet, sleep will not come.

The clerk scans the front desk; there’s nothing even remotely like earplugs anywhere. “Er, I’ve got a couple of tampons in my purse...?” She says, half joking.

... Rrmmmmmm... A steady hum coming from outside burrows into her brain. It won’t let her rest. It’s the compressor of a refrigerator truck, preserving it’s contents. The woman could care less, she just wants to get to sleep!

Bring in this original (not photocopied) coupon and transform into a monster with your 'WereWolf appetite' for "Werewolf Wednesday!"

Offer valid after 4:00pm for the first 40 customers.

Buy a “dine-in” large pizza and fountain soda on Wednesdays in May: Wed. May 10 ... and get our monster-sized calzone of your choice for free! Wed. May 17 ... and get a dozen wings for free! Wed. May 24 ... and get a burger and fries for free! Wed. May 31 ... and get a chicken fried steak dinner for free! Limit one offer per person/party per week.

107 W Jefferson Ave Hayden Colorado 81639 970-276-1337

The woman from 161 scowls as she considers her options. She checks the clock on the wall behind the front desk. Five hours and forty five minutes... “Fine. I’ll take two.”

... Rrmmmmmm...

Photo by Crash Sterne

The best cure for the body is a quiet mind. –Napoleon Bonaparte


May 2017

Valley Voice

Yampa Valley Health Care Action Group

Nobody Knew That Health Care Could Be So Complicated - Really? By Nancy Spillane

970 .879 .5717

2570 South Copper Frontage

Happy Mother’s Day!

Mon.-Fri. 9-6 Sat. 9-5 Sun. 11-3 In Central Park Plaza


That’s what President Trump and his crew said in February 2017 when they were trying to cobble together a health care plan for the country. Actually, I’d bet that almost every single adult U.S. citizen is quite aware of how complicated health care is portrayed to be in this country.

Over the course of the next three months, we will be writing a three-part series of articles to help Routt County residents navigate the health care system we currently have in place.

Health care in the United States is not straightforward. Every plan for every individual and family seems to be unique to that person/family. Every town, city, county, and state structures healthcare systems differently from the government next door. This makes the tangled web even more difficult to navigate for physicians, patients, health care providers, billing offices, clinics, and the hard-working people who help us at the reception desk. They all are as frustrated as we are.

• If you have cancer and fear bankruptcy, who can help you?

About a year ago, Coloradans stepped up to the plate to attempt to put together a universal health care plan for our state. Was it perfect? No. Was it better for most? Yes. Eight out of ten Coloradans would’ve been on a better, less expensive plan than the ones they currently have. However, it was not meant to be. After the November 2016 election, many of us picked up our bootstraps as we looked at what might be on the horizon for the planet, immigrants, health care, school children, science, etc. Some of us here in Routt County chose to focus on health care from among the growing list of problems and try to help, in some way, those members of our community who need assistance navigating what is going on in our country, our state, and in Northwest Colorado relating to health care. We created a group called the Yampa Valley HealthCare Action Group. We have worked hard to keep people informed about health issues that affect many of us. We have worked hard to inform our members of congress what is important to us. We have worked hard to preserve the good elements of the Affordable Care Act and make it even better.

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

• If you are pregnant, where do you go for help?

• If you are uninsured, where can you find out about low-cost coverage options? • If you need a test and cannot afford it, where do you turn? • If you have a family member who needs mental health care, is there a place to go? We also will be touching on a few other topics such as: • Creating an entirely new health care system for American and how you can get involved. • Exactly what is the difference between a single payer system, universal health care, and Medicare for all? • How some form of Single Payer would serve everyone much better without padding the pockets of health insurance companies and hospitals under the guise of “non profit.” • How can we get away from the current system that makes obscene profits from the sick and dying? So stay tuned and be looking for articles in the Valley Voice where we will navigate through the complexities of our health care system, in addition to learning how it can be made much less expensive, with much better coverage for everyone.

Valley Voice


May 2017

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OPEN Monday - Saturday 4pm-2am

The V, Inc

924 Lincoln Ave (970) 734-4357

Percentage of all proceeds goes to benefit local veterans

Happy Hour Specials 4 - 6 and 10 -12

Sign at the March for Science in DC. Photo by Nancy Spillane

After a century of striving, after a year of debate, after a historic vote, health care reform is no longer an unmet promise. It is the law of the land. –Barack Obama


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© 2017 Valley Voice, LLC. All rights reserved. NOT TO SCALE! No portion of this publication may be reproduced in any manner without the written permission of the artist. The publisher does not guarantee the accuracy of this map.

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Valley Voice

New Local Music

Tera Johnson Releases New Album - HOME By Jaxon Michaels

There’s something special you notice with the very first listen of the new album HOME by Colorado singer/songwriter Tera Johnson. Tera is breathing some fresh breath into the music industry with her uniquely powerful voice that exudes her beautiful folky soul tone. Tera, who was originally born and raised in central Illinois, has come from an eclectic background of rich history in not only music, but in poetry as well. This ability to genuinely convey herself in a deeper way shines through in her new release HOME. The album is her second release and not only a follow up to her debut, but also a body of work showing her evolution as a musician. Tera received her degree from the world-renowned Berklee College of Music, which is located in Boston, Massachusetts. There are many musicians who just go out there and try to make it happen, but Tera has gone that extra mile in attending college to excel her passion in her craft. This journey led her to meet fellow alumni John Bamber of JBRecording, which is located in one of the United States’ hottest music cities; Austin, Texas. This duo was hard at work in the studio creating a 14-track masterpiece that really delves deeper into Tera’s intimate life experiences of love and loss. This is truly an album that comes from the heart of someone with passion for not only her music, but for life itself. A strong, family woman who is ready for a broader audience of ears to hear her beautiful music, this will be a big year for Tera. If you’re looking for something genuine and original to listen to, look no further than Tera Johnson’s new album HOME. WWW.TERAJOHNSON.COM WWW.FACEBOOK.COM/TERAJOHNSONMUSIC WWW.TWITTER.COM/TERAJTWEETS HOME ALBUM: id1222210129?ls=1&app=itunes

May 2017


Smoke Signals

News from the Chief of the Chief By Scott Parker

Hello all and thank you for reading the 44th installment of Smoke Signals: News from The Chief of the Chief. THANK you, thank YOU, THANK YOU Steamboat Springs for another fantastic season here at the Chief Theater. We wound down the ski season with another amazing run of shows. Super Fun, Improv, Hamlet and more. We ended April with a bit of a lull where we did a lot of Spring cleaning. And now it is May and we are back in full swing! Cabaret is the annual Mud Season tradition here in town. This will mark the 34th(ish) year in a row that the Steamboat Springs Arts Council has hosted this event…the last 5 of which have been held at the Chief Theater!! By the time you read this, the show will most likely be sold out! Here are some events to put on your radar. Every Thursday in July and August: The Live Western Melodrama returns!!! Great family fun for all ages. July 7th and 8th: TWO nights of Jed Clampit and Kip Attaway September 29th and 30th: Will Durst presents “Durst Case Scenario.” He is a political comedian and will essentially make fun of Trump the entire time. October 31st: Dave Matthews Please follow us on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram or go to our website and sign up for our weekly email blast! Thank you for reading and see you at the Chief!!! Cheers, Scott 813 Lincoln Avenue 970-871-4791

May 2

Katie Carroll of The Tongue in Chief Players will lead this workshop.

Chief Youth Players Workshops 4:00pm - 5:00pm

Students in grades 4-8 are invited to join the Chief Players for theatrical workshops!!

Tickets: $10.

May 5

First Friday Artwalk

The Chief Theater is proud to host Jace Romick and his R Diamond Galley every First Friday Artwalk FREE

May 11, 12, 13

Rockin’ the Boat: Cabaret 2017 6pm & 9pm! Tickets available at the Art Depot

May 17

Chief Players Open Meeting All are welcome. 6:00pm - 8:00pm


May 19, 20

We're Not Clowns 20th Anniversary Extravaganza Show @ 7:00pm

Tickets: $15 After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music. –Aldous Huxley


May 2017

Valley Voice

Calendar of Events MONDAY MAY 1 Exercise for Parkinson’s 9AM @ United Methodist Church Targets balance, cardio, strength, dexterity and agility. To register, contact instructor Jacqueline Teuscher @303-829-2869 or jacqueline.teuscher@ Bud Werner Memorial Library presents Awake: A Dream from Standing Rock. 6:30PM New documentary chrinocles the indigenous-led resistance to the Dakota Access Pipeline. FREE. www.steamboatlibrary. org/events Live Band Karaoke 10PM @ Schmiggity’s Sing your favorite songs with a live band! FREE. TUESDAY MAY 2 Discount Wing Day 4:30PM @ The Tap House 970-879-2431 Token Tuesday 3:30PM @ Mountain Tap Brewery Receive a token for each craft brew purchased and chose which of 4 nonprofits. You will support. Bud Werner Memorial Library presents “Forgotten Coast” 6:30PM @ Library Hall This film traces a 1000 mile journey by the Florida black bear. FREE. Improv Workshop 7PM @ The Chief Learn the basics of Improvisational Comedy. All experience levels welcome.Recommended for ages 12 and up. $10 donation appreciated.

To submit your events or calendar information e-mail: Events may be edited for length or content. Calendar entries must be received by the 15th of each month.

Two-step Tuesday 7PM @ Schmiggity’s Country dancing. FREE. WEDNESDAY MAY 3 Horizons Presents: Milestones Got Talent 12:30PM @ The Chief Horizons day program presents a fun afternoon of Karaoke with Horizons clients struttin’ their stuff! FREE. Exercise for Parkinson’s 1:30PM @ United Methodist Church To register, contact instructor Eva Gibbon 970-846-9887 or Newcomers in Recovery 5:30PM @ 1915 Alpine Plaza #C-4 Meets weekly. (844) 9551066 Women Who Wine 6PM @ 385 Anglers Dr. Suite D Join Yampa Valley Community Foundation for a unique giving circle by women for women. www. community/women-whowine-MAY Bud Werner Memorial Library presents “The Science of Snowfall” 6:30PM @ Library Hall Presented with Yampatika, this community science talk explores patterns and trends and their effect on Steamboat’s seasonal snowfall. FREE. www. events Karaoke Night 9PM @ Schmiggity’s FREE. www.schmiggitys. com

THURSDAY MAY 4 Yoga for Parkinson’s Disease 11AM @ The Yoga Center of Steamboat FREE. Please contact Jeanne at 846-3326 before attending first class. Steamboat Springs Writers Group Noon @ Art Depot Meet with other writers and share your works. FREE. Stein Tag 2PM @ Butcherknife Brewing Bring your own stein & we’ll fill it for the price of a pint. People’s choice “Best Stein” contest at 6-ish. 970-879-BEER

Steamboat Theatrical Society Noon @ Arts Depot FREE. Contact sstew@ for info. Exercise for Parkinson’s 1:30PM @ United Methodist Church To register, contact instructor Eva Gibbon 970-846-9887 or Tread of Pioneers “Behind the Scenes Tour” 2:30PM @ Tread of Pioneers Museum First Friday Art Walk 5PM @ Downtown Steamboat. Self-guided tour of local art galleries, museums and alternative venues. FREE.

Kids Eat Free 4:30PM @ The Tap House Kids 12/under – Purchase 1 adult entrée get 1 kids’ entrée free

First Friday Art Walk @ Jace Romick Gallery 5PM @ The Chief FREE.

Beer Run 5:30PM @ Twisted Trails A chance to get in a run and meet other runners

Art Walk Reception “Steamboat Springs HS Advanced Placement Students” 5PM @ Art Depot Enjoy wine and appetizers. The show will be on display through May. FREE.

Open Mic with Jay Roemer 10PM @ Schmiggity’s FREE. FRIDAY MAY 5 Used Books Sale! 8:30AM @ Off the Beaten Path Recycling at its best! Used books will be 50% off the sticker price. Awaken with Chopra Center Yoga 9:30AM @ Yoga Center of Steamboat Chopra instructor Patty Zimmer. 970-846-5608

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

Worried Men 10PM @ Schmiggity’s From Grateful Dead to Metal. FREE. SATURDAY MAY 6 Used Books Sale! 8:30AM @ Off the Beaten Path Recycling at its best! Used books will be 50% off the sticker price. www.

Aquatic Aerobic Classes 9AM @ Old Town Hot Springs Pool Contact sallytestrake@ greencourtpartners. com or 970-761-2381 to register We’re Us 10PM @ Schmiggity’s Rock. $10. SUNDAY MAY 7 Used Books Sale! 8:30AM @ Off the Beaten Path Recycling at its best! Used books will be 50% off the sticker price. Latin Dance Night 7PM @ Schmiggity’s Latin dance lessons followed by a night of Latin dancing. FREE. www. MONDAY MAY 8 Used Books Sale! 8:30AM @ Off the Beaten Path Recycling at its best! Used books will be 50% off the sticker price. www. Exercise for Parkinson’s 9AM @ United Methodist Church Targets balance, cardio, strength, dexterity and agility. To register, contact instructor Jacqueline Teuscher @ 303-8292869 or jacqueline. Live Band Karaoke 10PM @ Schmiggity’s Sing your favorite songs with a live band! FREE. www.schmiggitys. com TUESDAY MAY 9 Discount Wing Day 4:30PM @ The Tap House 970-879-2431

Token Tuesday 3:30PM @ Mountain Tap Brewery Receive a token for each craft brew purchased and chose which of 4 non-profits you will support. www. Two-step Tuesday 7PM @ Schmiggity’s Country dancing. FREE. WEDNESDAY MAY 10 Exercise for Parkinson’s 1:30PM @ United Methodist Church To register, contact instructor Eva Gibbon 970-846-9887 or Newcomers in Recovery 5:30PM @ 1915 Alpine Plaza #C-4. Meets weekly. (844) 955-1066 www. foundrytreatmentcenter. com Women Who Wine 6PM @ 385 Anglers Dr. Suite D Join Yampa Valley Community Foundation for a unique giving circle by women for women. www. community/women-whowine-MAY Karaoke Night 9PM @ Schmiggity’s FREE. THURSDAY MAY 11 Yoga for Parkinson’s Disease 11AM @ The Yoga Center of Steamboat. FREE. Please contact Jeanne at 846-3326 before attending first class. Steamboat Springs Writers Group Noon @ Art Depot Meet with other writers and share your works. FREE.

Valley Voice

Stein Tag 2PM @ Butcherknife Brewing Bring your own stein & we’ll fill it for the price of a pint. People’s choice “Best Stein” contest at 6-ish. 970-879-BEER Kids Eat Free 4:30PM @ The Tap House Kids 12/under – Purchase 1 adult entrée get 1 kids’ entrée free Beer Run 5:30PM @ Twisted Trails A chance to get in a run and meet other runners Rockin’ the Boat: Cabaret 2017 6PM & 9PM @ The Chief The Steamboat Springs Arts Coucil presents the 34th Annual Evening of Cabaret! Two seatings each night. Adult content. Tickets available At The Art Depot, ALL THAT or Schmiggity’s Jam 10PM @ Schmiggity’s Hosted open stage FREE. www.schmiggitys. com FRIDAY MAY 12 Awaken with Chopra Center Yoga 9:30AM @ Yoga Center of Steamboat Chopra instructor Patty Zimmer. 970-846-5608 Steamboat Theatrical Society Noon @ Arts Depot FREE. Contact sstew@ for info. Exercise for Parkinson’s 1:30PM @ United Methodist Church To register, contact instructor Eva Gibbon 970-846-9887 or

May 2017


Calendar of Events Rockin’ the Boat: Cabaret 2017 6PM & 9PM @ The Chief The Steamboat Springs Arts Coucil presents the 34th Annual Evening of Cabaret! Two seatings each night. Adult content. Tickets available At The Art Depot, ALL THAT or Enough About You 10PM @ Schmiggity’s Rock. FREE. www. SATURDAY MAY 13 Aquatic Aerobic Classes 9AM @ Old Town Hot Springs Pool Contact sallytestrake@ greencourtpartners. com or 970-761-2381 to register Rockin’ the Boat: Cabaret 2017 6PM & 9PM @ The Chief The Steamboat Springs Arts Coucil presents the 34th Annual Evening of Cabaret! Two seatings each night. Adult content. Tickets available At The Art Depot, ALL THAT or SandRock 10PM @ Schmiggity’s Alternative acoustic rock FREE. www.schmiggitys. com SUNDAY MAY 14 Latin Dance Night 7PM @ Schmiggitys FREE. www.schmiggitys. com MONDAY MAY 15 Exercise for Parkinson’s 9AM @ United Methodist Church To register, contact instructor Jacqueline Teuscher @ 303-8292869 or jacqueline.

Tread of Pioneers Museum presents Ute Indian Pow Wow Dance 5:30PM @ Bud Werner Memorial Library Pow wow dances will be performed by Ute students and history and significance. FREE. www. events-current.php

Poetry Slam 5PM @ Off the Beaten Path Come celebrate National Poetry Month by sharing your original poetry with a supportive audience and compete to win a $10 OTBP gift card. FREE.

Young Bloods Collective Cocktails & CRIT(ique) 6:30PM @ Pine Moon Gallery Join YBC for their monthly meet up. Bring artwork and/or ideas and be ready to talk art! FREE.

Newcomers in Recovery 5:30PM @ 1915 Alpine Plaza #C-4 Meets weekly. (844) 9551066

Live Band Karaoke 10PM @ Schmiggity’s Sing your favorite songs with a live band! FREE. www.schmiggitys. com TUESDAY MAY 16 Discount Wing Day 4:30PM @ The Tap House 970-879-2431 Token Tuesday 3:30PM @ Mountain Tap Brewery Receive a token for each craft brew purchased and chose which of 4 non-profits you will support. www. Bud Werner Memorial Library presents “Before the Flood” 6:30PM @ Library Hall This documentary witnesses climate change firsthand. FREE. www. events Two-step Tuesday 7PM @ Schmiggity’s Country dancing. FREE. WEDNESDAY MAY 17 Exercise for Parkinson’s 1:30PM @ U nited Methodist Church To register, contact instructor Eva Gibbon 970-846-9887 or

Bud Werner Memorial Library presents “Gardening 101/201” 5:30PM @ Library Hall An evening with master gardeners. FREE. www. events Chief Players Open Meeting 6PM @ The Chief All are welcome to this open informational meeting of the Chief Players where you will find out about upcoming shows and audition dates, followed by some improv games. FREE. www. Karaoke Night 9PM @ Schmiggity’s FREE. www.schmiggitys. com THURSDAY MAY 18 Yoga for Parkinson’s Disease 11AM @ The Yoga Center of Steamboat FREE. Please contact Jeanne at 846-3326 before attending first class. Steamboat Springs Writers Group Noon @ Art Depot FREE. Stein Tag 2PM @ Butcherknife Brewing Bring your own stein & we’ll fill it for the price of a pint. People’s choice

“Best Stein” contest at 6-ish. 970-879-BEER Kids Eat Free 4:30PM @ The Tap House Kids 12/under – Purchase 1 adult entrée get 1 kids’ entrée free Beer Run 5:30PM @ Twisted Trails A chance to get in a run and meet other runners Bud Werner Memorial Library presents “Exploring Colorado’s 14-ers” 6:30PM @ Library Hall An evening with John Perets, who has over 100 summits to his credit FREE. Open Mic with Jay Roemer 10PM @ Schmiggity’s FREE. www.schmiggitys. com FRIDAY MAY 19 Coffee with Council 7:30AM @ Crawford Room @ Centennial Hall Discuss issues of interest with council members. FREE. Coffee and light refreshments provided. www.steamboatsprings. net Awaken with Chopra Center Yoga 9:30AM @ Yoga Center of Steamboat Chopra instructor Patty Zimmer. 970-846-5608 Steamboat Theatrical Society Noon @ Arts Depot Join theater enthusiasts to read and discuss theatrical works. FREE. Contact for info. Exercise for Parkinson’s 1:30PM @ United Methodist Church To register, contact instructor Eva Gibbon 970-846-9887 or

We’re Not Clowns 20th Anniversary Extravaganza 7PM @ The Chief We’re Not Clowns have been juggling their way into audiences hearts for 20 years! Come join the fun! www.chieftheater. com 40 Oz to Freedom 10PM @ Schmiggity’s Sublime Tribute $10. www.schmiggitys. com SATURDAY MAY 20 Aquatic Aerobic Classes 9AM @ Old Town Hot Springs Pool Contact sallytestrake@ greencourtpartners. com or 970-761-2381 to register Ride the Cog: Hayden Museum Fundraiser 9AM @ Hayden Museum Registration at 9AM – rides start at 10. Followed by after party @ The Museum with lunch, music by 3 Wire and silent auction. or 276-4380

James & the Giant Peach 2PM @ Strings Music Pavilion A musical adaptation of Roald Dahl’s treasured novel finds you traveling with James and friends in a giant peach! Off the Beaten Path will provide Roald Dahl books for sale. www.stringsmusicfestival. com We’re Not Clowns 20th Anniversary Extravaganza 7PM @ The Chief We’re Not Clowns have been juggling their way into audiences hearts for 20 years! Come join the fun! www.chieftheater. com

Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive. –Elbert Hubbard


May 2017

Valley Voice

Calendar of Events Old Salt Union 10PM @ Schmiggity’s Progressive Americana $10. www.schmiggitys. com SUNDAY MAY 21 Bud Werner Memorial Library presents community yoga practice 10AM @ Library Hall Bring your own mat. FREE. Healing Power of Meditation 6PM @ Library Hall With Buddhist Nun Kelsang Thaye, follow the well-loved and guided “Body of Light” meditation. $10. Latin Dance Night 7PM @ Schmiggitys FREE. www.schmiggitys. com MONDAY MAY 22 Exercise for Parkinson’s 9AM @ United Methodist Church To register, contact instructor Jacqueline Teuscher @ 303-8292869 or jacqueline.

Bud Werner Memorial Library presents “Real Boy” 6:30PM @ Library Hall Saleece Haas documentary is a coming-of-age story of a trans teenager with dreams of musical stardom. FREE. www. events Live Band Karaoke 10PM @ Schmiggity’s Sing your favorite songs with a live band! FREE. www.schmiggitys. com TUESDAY MAY 23 Tread of Pioneers “Behind the Scenes Tour” 11AM @ Tread of Pioneers Museum Discount Wing Day 4:30PM @ The Tap House 970-879-2431 Token Tuesday 3:30PM @ Mountain Tap Brewery Receive a token for each craft brew purchased and chose which of 4 non-profits you will support. www.

Two Step Tuesday 7PM @ Schmiggity’s FREE. www.schmiggitys. com WEDNESDAY MAY 24 Exercise for Parkinson’s 1:30PM @ United Methodist Church To register, contact instructor Eva Gibbon 970-846-9887 or Newcomers in Recovery 5:30PM @ 1915 Alpine Plaza #C-4 Meets weekly. (844) 9551066 Bud Werner Memorial Library presents “Amnesia” 7:00PM @ The Chief This month’s foreign film series film is an award winning Swiss and French drama. Steamboat’s French club will meet before the film @6PM in the Black Box Lounge. FREE. Karaoke Night 9PM @ Schmiggity’s Sing your favorite songs! FREE. www.schmiggitys. com

THURSDAY MAY 25 Yoga for Parkinson’s Disease 11AM @ The Yoga Center of Steamboat FREE. Please contact Jeanne at 846-3326 before attending first class. Steamboat Springs Writers Group Noon @ Art Depot Meet with other writers and share your works. FREE. Stein Tag 2PM @ Butcherknife Brewing Bring your own stein & we’ll fill it for the price of a pint. People’s choice “Best Stein” contest at 6-ish. 970-879-BEER Kids Eat Free 4:30PM @ The Tap House Kids 12/under – Purchase 1 adult entrée get 1 kids’ entrée free Beer Run 5:30PM @ Twisted Trails A chance to get in a run and meet other runners

Schmiggity’s Jam 10PM @ Schmiggity’s Hosted open stage FREE. www.schmiggitys. com FRIDAY MAY 26 Awaken with Chopra Center Yoga 9:30AM @ Yoga Center of Steamboat Chopra instructor Patty Zimmer. 970-846-5608 Steamboat Theatrical Society Noon @ Arts Depot Join theater enthusiasts to read and discuss theatrical works. FREE. Contact sstew@ for info. Exercise for Parkinson’s 1:30PM @ United Methodist Church To register, contact instructor Eva Gibbon 970-846-9887 or Wise 100 Doors 10PM @ Schmiggity’s One man reggae/rock band. FREE. www. SATURDAY MAY 27 Aquatic Aerobic Classes 9AM @ Old Town Hot Springs Pool Contact sallytestrake@ greencourtpartners. com or 970-761-2381 to register Judge Roungneck 10PM @ Schmiggity’s Ska/Reggae $5. SUNDAY MAY 28 Latin Dance Night 7PM @ Schmiggity’s Latin dancing FREE. www.schmiggitys. com MONDAY MAY 29

Photo by Karen Vail For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

Exercise for Parkinson’s 9AM @ United Methodist Church To register, contact instructor Jacqueline

Teuscher @ 303-8292869 or jacqueline. Live Band Karaoke 10PM @ Schmiggity’s Sing your favorite songs with a live band! FREE. www.schmiggitys. com TUESDAY MAY 30 Discount Wing Day 4:30PM @ The Tap House 970-879-2431 Token Tuesday 3:30PM @ Mountain Tap Brewery Receive a token for each craft brew purchased and chose which of 4 nonprofits You will support. www. Cocktails with Council 4:30PM @ Carls Tavern Discuss issues of interest with City Council member. www.steamboatsprings. net Two Step Tuesday 7PM @ Schmiggity’s Country dancing FREE. www.schmiggitys. com WEDNESDAY MAY 31 Exercise for Parkinson’s 1:30PM @ United Methodist Church To register, contact instructor Eva Gibbon 970-846-9887 or Newcomers in Recovery 5:30PM @ 1915 Alpine Plaza #C-4 Meets weekly. (844) 9551066 Karaoke Night 9PM @ Schmiggity’s Sing your favorite songs! FREE. www.schmiggitys. com

Valley Voice

May 2017

First Friday Artwalk May 5, 2017 5 pm - 8 pm ART GALLERIES AND MUSEUMS


GALLERY 89 1009 Lincoln Ave 970.439.8196 Gallery 89 brings European artist Timur Karim’s original paintings from the famous “Love Stories” series in the United States for the very first time.


MANGELSEN-IMAGES OF NATURE 730 Lincoln Ave 970.871.1822 PINE MOON FINE ART 117 9th St 970.879.2787 Pine Moon Fine Art, 711 9th Street, (970) 879-2787, will feature jewelry made by gallery artists: Tibby Spears, Sandy Graves, Jennifer Baker, and Sandra Sherrod. Gallery art: Oil, Acrylic, Watercolor Paintings, Sculptures, Fiber work, Photography, Graphite, Monotype. STEAMBOAT SPRINGS ARTS COUNCIL AT THE DEPOT 1001 13th St. 970.879.9008 SSHS AP Art Show Drawings, paintings, digital art, and photographs created by Steamboat Springs High School Advanced Placement Studio Art and Advanced Placement Photography students. This work is part of student’s AP Concentration Portfolios designed to explore a thematic concept, which is personal and individual STEAMBOAT SPRINGS CENTER FOR VISUAL ARTS 837 Lincoln Ave 970.846.8119 “Young Bloods Collective” Art Show: non-profit serving the next generation of Routt County creatives, making the arts accessible through community engagement. W GALLERY 115 9th Street, Lincoln Ave., 846-1783 W Gallery will be featuring work of Denver based Painter and Sculptor Christopher Oar. Abstract paintings from his “Dialogue” series will be on view the month of May.

HARWIGS/LAPOGEE 911 Lincoln Ave 970.879.1919 Flora and Fauna: watercolors by Deb Babcock featuring flowers and woodland creatures of northern Colorado. Mostly small works that make a wonderful Mother’s Day gift HOLY NAME CATHOLIC CHURCH 524 Oak St 970.879.0671 Enjoy the sacred arts in architecture, windows and books: the illuminated Word of the Saint John’s Bible and the elegant, informative “God’s Holy Mountain” book.. SKITOWN COMPUTING 1104 Lincoln Ave 970.870.7984 “Charlotte Grey Brooks is a Steamboat local and aspiring illustrator. Featuring ink and water color on paper, her distinctive style is influenced by Anime and popular culture.” STEAMBOAT SMOKEHOUSE 912 Lincoln Ave 941.321.2809 Sarah is a native of Iowa who moved to Steamboat shortly after graduating from Colorado College in 2013. Her passion for pictures grew out of a love for Northwestern Colorado’s beautiful landscapes. Her work is largely inspired by and created on her numerous outdoor adventures, where you’ll find her roaming around with her dog by her side and her camera in hand. URBANE 703 Lincoln Ave 970.879.9169 “Meeting of the Minds” showcases some of Steamboat’s lesser known but amazing Local Artists. Sheldon Sickles, Malarie Parks, Alexia LaVigne, Andrea Kosoris, Nick Wiedbusch, Lucas Laverty and Brian Anderson present a unique mix of styles and mediums.

Artwork by Aimee Kimmey


HappyHours Last minute changes can and do occur - Mother Nature, illness, tour malfunction, whatever - the accuracy of this calendar is not guaranteed! 8th Street Steakhouse 4:30 - 6:00 p.m. & 9:00 p.m. Aurum Food & Wine 4:30 - 6:00 p.m. daily Azteca Taqueria 4:00 - 5:00 p.m. & 8:00 - 9:00 p.m. daily

McKnight’s Irish Pub 3:00 - 6:00 p.m. & 9:30 - 11:00 p.m. daily Off the Beaten Path After 4:00 p.m. daily Old Town Pub 3:00 to 6:00 p.m. daily

Back Door Grill 4:00 - 7:00 p.m. daily & All day on Sundays

O’Neil’s Tavern and Grill 4:00 p.m. - 6:00 p.m. & 10:00 p.m. - 12:00 p.m. daily

The BARley 4:00 - 6:00 p.m. daily

The Pit on 5th 2:00 - 6:00 p.m.

Big House Burgers 4:20 - 6 p.m., Mon-Sat. & 2 - 6 Sunday

Rex’s American Grill & Bar 4:20 - 6:00 daily

Cantina Mexican Restaurant 4:00 - 6:00 p.m. daily

The Rusted Porch 2:00 p.m.- 6:00p.m. daily

Carl’s Tavern 4:00 - 6:00 p.m. daily

Salt and Lime 3:30 p.m.- 5:30 p.m. & 10:00 p.m.- 11:00 p.m.

Circle R Bar 4 - 6 p.m. Thurs-Saturday

Sake 2 U 3:30 - 5:30 p.m.

Colorado High 5 3:00 - 6:00 p.m. daily

Sambi Canton 5:00 - 6:00 pm Monday - Saturday

Cuginos Italian Restaurant and Pizzeria 3:00 - 6:00 p.m. & 9:00 - 11:00 p.m. daily Double ZZ BBQ 2:30 - 6:00 p.m. daily Dude & Dan’s Bar and Grill 3:00 - 6:00 p.m. daily Late Night Happy Hour: 10:00 - 12:00 p.m. daily E3 Ranch & Chophouse Restaurant 4:00 - 6:00 p.m. daily Harwigs & L’Apogee: 5:00 - 6:30 p.m. daily Laundry 4:30 - 6p.m. Tues.-Sat. Low Country 4:30 - 6 p.m. daily Mahogany Ridge 4:00 - 5:30 p.m. Late night happy hour: 9:00 to 10:00 p.m. daily Mambo Italiano 4:30 to 5:30 p.m. daily Mazzola’s Majestic Italian Diner 5:00 to 6:00 p.m. daily

Schmiggitys 7:00 - 9:00 p.m. daily Scratch 4:00 - 6:00 p.m. daily Slopeside Grill 10:00 p.m.-12:00 a.m. Speakeasy At The V 4:00 - 6:00 p.m. & 10:00p.m. - 12:00 a.m. Steamboat Smokehouse 3:00 to 6:00 p.m. & 9:30 to 11:30 p.m. daily: Sunpies Cajun Bistro 3:00 to 6:00 p.m. daily Table 79 Foodbar 5:00 - 6:00 & 9:00 - 11:00 daily The Tap House Sports Grill 3:00 - 6:00 p.m. weekdays Truffle Pig 2:00 - 5:00 p.m. daily Vaqueros Mexican Restaurant & Taqueria 2:00 - 6:00 p.m. daily

I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered. –George Best


May 2017

Valley Voice

The Heretic

Everyone Has Faith By Lorre Buss

879.5929 905 Weiss Drive - across HWY 40 from the Holiday Inn

Getting the shot no matter what is coming.... 970.734.4321

“Everyone has faith.” My immediate response was to dismiss the preacher’s statement as false. After all, I know plenty of folks who say they have none (yet often are tuned into what Pam Grout calls the Field of Potentiality). I also know lots of people who claim to believe in a Higher Power while tossing aside the idea that It could be personally interested in our welfare or desire to shower us with good. Then the man explained: when each of those present in the congregation drove to church that morning, every one trusted the drivers in cars traveling the opposite direction to stay in their lane. Not one of us doubted, when we got up and flipped the switch in the bathroom, that the light would turn on and we would not receive a deadly shock. Examples of people having faith abound. We frequently have faith in other people. We have faith in scientists, trusting them to tell us what to do and what to eat to live a long and healthy life. We have faith that, come payday, we really will receive compensation. We have faith in money – small green and white pieces of paper that are completely valueless but for our confidence in it. And in medicine, treatments like chemotherapy, which acutely damage our bodies, are considered cures. I was born with an inherent sense of trust. At age fourteen, one of my favorite songs was Carole King’s “I Think I Can Hear You:” “…everyone is a part of you And anyone can know you All they’ve got to do is be…” I sensed Truth in those words then, as I do now. My parents, on the other hand, were much more pessimistic, er, “realistic,” as were others in my life. Over time, exposure to that kind of attitude can dissolve your optimism until it washes away like a sandcastle.

Raised in a stoic German Catholic home, from birth I learned about a stern and forbidding God. This clashed with my intuitive sense, and in my early twenties I skipped Sunday Mass in favor of visits to a metaphysical shop, where I had my first horoscope and palm readings. I embarked on a quest, expanding my understanding of God, myself, and the cosmos. Eventually, I incorporated certain traditional concepts with which I was raised into my now broadened understanding of my Maker: an understanding based on intuition and personal evidence that what or who I call God is truly both good and love. I tried the “create your own life” thing, but found that I enjoyed greater effectiveness in moving my life forward when, rather than focusing on specific details I believed I longed for, I remained receptive to my inner promptings: wait, feel, follow instructions. Unemployed and watching my bank account dwindle, I played the profligate, went out to eat, and met a man who led me to a job. Tired of working on my worker’s comp case, I read a legal suspense novel and discovered a tactic that I used to good effect. Joel Osteen says God puts dreams in us with every intention of bringing them to fruition -- if only we’ll cooperate. And how do we cooperate? For starters, we must believe our dreams will come true, while staying open to the possibility the manifestation will not look the way we expect. Paying attention to the cues we’re given, trusting that they’ll lead to good, and following directions will lead us to actualization. Sometimes it takes longer than we’d like, but if we hang in there, we see things unfold in the direction of our heart’s desire. The prerequisite to any successfully taken action is believing the action is worthwhile. In other words, we must have faith – something innate in us all. The question is: faith in what?

Get Your Garden Ready for Spring! 2560 Copper Ridge Drive, Steamboat Springs, Colorado (970) 879-8577 For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

Stagecoach; March 28, 2017 - Photo by Paulie Anderson

Valley Voice

May 2017

Drink of the Month

The First Saturday In May


Snow Bowl

By Eric Kemper

In the 1950’s, the three most popular professional sports in America were baseball, boxing and horse racing. In a sepia-toned era when Ike was president and America was ascendant in all of her post war glory, the first Saturday in May was a much bigger deal than it is today. The Kentucky Derby, the Run For The Roses, is a great American tradition dating back to 1875. Although eclipsed in recent years by Cinco De Mayo (the celebration of a Pyric victory, the gains of which were wiped out a year later by the returning French forces), Derby Day has some traditions of its own that make for a fine occasion for a celebration . Big hats, fine dress and an air of sophistication mark the day. And bourbon. Lots of bourbon. Two minutes of horse racing seems to be the perfect excuse for a whole Saturday afternoon of whiskey drinking. The Mint Julep became a staple of the Derby in 1938. It is a drink that goes back to at least the 18th century in America and has long been an exemplar of the southern good life. Crushed ice, spring water, sugar, fresh mint and, of course, bourbon are the traditional elements of this drink. Though traditionally served in a silver or pewter julep cup, in more recent times, a highball or Collins glass has become the more typical serving vessel. In my experience, Mint Juleps have to be one of the most cooling, invigorating and refreshing whiskey drinks to have on a hot day. So often, drinking whiskey in the afternoon is the prelude to long groggy nap. Something about the mint and cold and sweetness and bite work so well together that I find myself drinking much larger glasses of whiskey than I typically would in a single sitting without falling off that proverbial cliff. But it can happen, way too easily! Pace yourself, drink plenty of water and snack as you go.

The Bartender’s Black Book or even at the bar down at Mambo. This is the one I do. I try to make the syrup ahead of time so I can spend the party hanging out with friends instead of being in the kitchen, but sometimes it doesn’t always work out that way. The important thing to know for the race is that there is always a lot of filler on TV. You don’t really need to start watching until you hear them start singing “My Old Kentucky Home.” Mint Simple Syrup: Simple syrup is just like it sounds: Simple! It is simply a mix of equal parts water and sugar. For each cup of water, add a cup of sugar to the water in a saucepan. Heat the saucepan over medium heat, stirring continuously. When the sugar is completely dissolved, Voila! You have simple syrup. To estimate how much you need, I’d go with one cup for each 3 people. Don’t worry if you make extra; the syrup will keep in the fridge for up to two weeks. To make it a mint simple syrup, once the sugar is dissolved, reduce the heat to low and add sprigs of fresh mint to the syrup and bruise thoroughly with a spoon. I made the mistake of chopping the mint the first year I made juleps and there ended up being a lot of green stuff in people’s teeth. Once the syrup has taken on the desired amount of mint flavor (you’ll have to taste and decide for yourself what that means), remove the used mint sprigs and discard and allow the syrup to cool.


Monday: 3-10pm Tues. Wed. Thurs.: 3-11pm Fri. Sat. Sun.: 1pm - 12am

Mint Juleps: To make the drink, select a glass and fill it up with roughly crushed ice. If you are going to go old school and use a silver julep cup, be sure to handle it only at the top and bottom, preserving the beautiful sheen of frost. Add 1-2 oz. of mint simple syrup. A little can go a long way, even when mixing it with whiskey, so estimate low and add more to the drink if you feel it needs it. Fill up the glass with good bourbon whiskey. I like Maker’s Mark for this, but go with whatever you like, just don’t go too cheap. This drink is mostly whiskey, so pick one you’ll want to sip on all afternoon. Stir the whiskey, syrup and ice together until thoroughly blended and the ice is just starting to melt. Add a floater of spiced rum and garnish with a sprig of fresh mint.




The following is my recipe for great mint juleps. There are as many recipes for this drink as there are people making them. My version is not the same one you’ll find from the International Bartenders Association, or

Horse racing is animated roulette. –Roger Kahn


May 2017

Valley Voice

The Wandering Rose

Bloodsuckers The tick liked the color of Audrey Rose’s toenails, bright, sparkly silver. Well, maybe it wasn’t so much the color of her toes that attracted the tick but the smell of her blood. Yesssss, the thought of warm, salty blood running through its body was more than the tick could take. And the sparkle of Audrey’s toes was like a map guiding the tick to this life sustaining blood source. The tick had sensed her shadow and started questing, or lying in wait, for its prey. As she came closer the tick hoped she would come close enough for a little feast. The minute Audrey Rose brushed past the blade of grass where the tick had been lying in wait, it fell onto the tip of her toe, then slowly began making its way up her leg. Spring had come early to Steamboat. The snows melted, the trails reappeared. The tick eggs that had been laid on the ground the spring before had now turned into nymphs. As larvae they found hosts to feed off of, birds and mice, then dropped back to the ground to become nymphs, where their three pairs of legs became four pairs, all the better to grip onto a host with. Nymph conjures up images of mythological maidens that live in the wild, or graceful young women who frolic through the fields, not ticks. Yet a nymph is any

insect - although technically ticks aren’t insects; they are arachnids (think spiders and scorpions) - which undergo an incomplete metamorphosis. This young tick had all eight legs, was fully formed and was seeking out a host for a little blood to help get it through to adulthood. It quickly began climbing Audrey’s body looking for some soft skin near Audrey’s ear to latch on to. It really liked the soft skin. Having walked barefoot for most of her life, Audrey didn’t feel even the slightest tickle when the tick began crawling on her. She was lost in the movement of the clouds and the way the sun was weaving through the branches of the aspens that were just about to bud. She was so lost in the greens, golds and blues of the morning, she probably wouldn’t have noticed if a sparrow had landed on her nose. The tick moved as quickly as possible, motivated solely by the thought of blood. Blood, food, yum! The tick made it up her leg, under her skirt and thought about nestling into the downy hairs between her legs, but the tick was spurred onward by the thought of great heights and a better view than it had ever had before. It slipped under the edge of her sparkly skirt and started up the sensitive skin of her belly. Audrey Rose’s attention was quickly diverted to the eight tiny legs rushing up her skin. She saw the tick crawling up her and knew what it wanted. But did she want to give it to the tick? Personally, she had nothing against ticks. She was an equal opportunity lover. She felt there was so much love in her heart, there wasn’t a single thing on this earth that wasn’t worth loving. There were things she didn’t like, per se, such as the mosquito and the fire ant, and really, the cockroach (although she had no specific reason to dislike them as much as she did). And then there was the tick. She knew the tick needed her to live. She could end its life now, or she could simply flick it off her and leave it to find another host. She didn’t want to kill it as it hadn’t done anything to harm her and she couldn’t feed off the

View of the South Valley - Photo by Eric Kemper

tick, so it would simply be killing for killing’s sake. But, if she flicked it off and it had some disease and it gave that disease to another animal, then wasn’t she somewhat responsible for the suffering of the other animal? As she was debating what to do another tick that had also fallen onto her foot was making much steadier progress. It had chosen to go up the back of Audrey’s leg and was able to swing from the back of her skirt onto the edge of a long, blonde curl. It crept up the curl, getting closer and closer to her neck. What if Audrey Rose let this little tick latch onto her but it did have a disease. Then what? Rocky Mountain spotted fever could cause damage to her kidneys and even heart if she didn’t catch the symptoms of fever and rash on wrists and ankles. Colorado tick fever wasn’t fatal or even life threatening, but who wanted fever, chills and headaches? By now the tick was up to her breast and it was thinking this would be a great soft place for a meal. It grasped the skin and began cutting into the surface. Audrey Rose made her decision. The tick would have to die. She looked around for a weapon to kill it with. She found two small rocks she could crush it between. The tick was just about to insert its feeding tube into her body when she edged it off onto the rock. The view the tick had of the world spread out before it was gone as quickly as it had come. Audrey Rose preserved the tick’s body between the two rocks. The tick felt only a second of pain before its world became black. However, the other tick, the one that had crawled into her hair, made its way to her neck. It secreted some saliva into her skin so she wouldn’t feel the bite, then secreted a cement like substance to help it hang on while feeding, then popped out a few barbs to hold it in as well. Finally, it began feeding. Compared to the blood of the mouse it had fed on when it was a little larvae, human blood gave it a rush. There were all sorts of chemicals and sugar, a lot of sugar, in Audrey Rose’s blood that made the tick want to drop off to the ground and dance, but it knew that feeding for a few days, if it could remain undetected, would help it live to adulthood so it could reproduce. The tick gave over to the sweet oblivion that came with drinking blood, closing its eyes and focusing only on the moment. Feeling a little paranoid after she had removed the one tick, Audrey Rose started inspecting her body from toe to head. There was nothing on her toes but sparkles, nothing on her knees or her thighs or between her legs. There was nothing on her stomach or back, then she felt up into her hairline and there she found it. She knew immediately by the flat body, that wiggled but didn’t fall when she touched it, what it was. Everyone and everything had a right to live, didn’t they? She wondered if it had any diseases that it had already secreted into her skin along with its saliva. She wondered about all the men she had kissed and what they had left behind in their saliva. She wondered that her blood could sustain another creature. Then she reached up, tickled the belly of the tick until it couldn’t take it anymore and let go. Audrey Rose held it up to see a faint drop of her blood on the tick. Was what it had enough to sustain it? If it died now would it die satisfied, or would it die longing for more? She reached for the rock.

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

Valley Voice

May 2017

Mister Helpful’s Dating Guide

You Get To Make The Rules!

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

It’s all about your Happiness

By Mr. Helpful, M.D.

Had an online back and forth chat with a nice woman who lived a few miles from me today. “I’ll ask you a few questions and then I’ll tell you what I’m going to do with you.” she said. THAT sounds like a fantastic opening and highly inviting line, right?!? Well that’s certainly what I thought, smiled to myself thinking she’s being fun and playful; but wasn’t going to be the traditional “guy” and just jump into a flirty sexy banter. I try and be more of a gentleman and nearly ignore such things. She asked her questions – What is your annual income? Why have you never been married? What do you do for a living? Solid questions, nothing wrong with asking them, especially since my profile doesn’t have this information. I was in a good mood so I answered in my own fun way. “Hahaha – those questions are rather telling. My income is none of anyone’s beewax. Never been married are good stories for face to face times. I’m a professional mouth/speaker in a couple of situations. I’m happy to chat about all of this.” Strangely enough, she was not in the same mood that I was in. Her reply was that I should take care to be aware of who I was talking to and not “get lippy” with her. Turns out that my early morning conversation was with a newly retired Organic Chemistry scientist, who was a bit more stoic about her dating ideals then I was aware of. Yikes! Hey – don’t get me wrong. I LOVE nerdy anything and anyone. And when I found out that I was chatting up a scientist, I was on board for intellectual fun. I’m a huge fan of brains and highly encourage everyone to let giant brains be the new sexy. What I do recognize is that there are times when we all do not translate our thoughts properly. This point is not limited to either sex, any race, any economic status, religion, height or shoe size. We all. At one time or another have/will be misunderstood by someone else about what we mean in a text or message. Such is life. It’s the follow up messages that will save our skin. If at any point there is a misunderstanding, ask a question and wait for a decent reply. Ok, back to the scientist. Remember she asked me about my income? I had a problem with that and personally think if someone asks about money inside of the first two or three dates, let alone messages, we’re looking at a gold digger here. But this situation was entirely different and at the moment I didn’t read it properly. She was asking about income because she herself was a highly accomplished, retired person of means. This was a woman who was “upfront” looking for someone who has


-Kinky Friedman

a similar lifestyle to her own. She wants a man who can ALSO say “let’s go to blah blah blah and do blah blah, right frickin’ now.” Of course, she was far more classy than that and most likely would not have used a single blah in her vacation suggestion, but you get my point. I may have gotten bent about her asking about cash, but she was purpose driven on several issues. It all comes down to preferences and how to express them. In her science brain - ask the questions, get the results. That’s what works for her. Waste no time, be direct. For me, I like to be more playful and comfortable with my inquiries. In the world there are Prickly people and Gooey people. The Prickly people like things to be just so and with lots of straight lines. The Gooey people like to flow with rounded edges that rarely have boundaries. But the truth is that the world is filled with Gooey prickles and Prickly goo. The ratios of which are constantly changing from person to person and moment to moment. In dating, it’s a matter of finding someone who is your type of both. This woman’s preferences are hers, just like yours are yours. I thought about my choices of what to do next – “block/delete/ignore/move on” is the easy one. If I were more of a jerk/bad mood/drinking heavily so early in the morning I could have messaged back calling her a variety of names, but no. Action like that can get ya removed from the system. The message I sent back was this:“Ok. I recognize your personal strength of character and respect your preferences. “I think” that asking me about income within the first few messages is a sign that we are not the match we both hoped for. I wish you all the best in your search for fun and happiness.” Simple. I acknowledged her position as an individual with full rights to think and act in her own way, much like I would want from anyone else. I stated what was important to me without being a jerk about it and, with a touch of class, wished her well. Didn’t go overboard trying to convince her of my side of things. Didn’t try to be a baby and cry that she didn’t understand my back story of struggle and where I am in my life right now. Didn’t call her a bitch. Why waste her time, why waste my time. Simple sentences like an adult and move on. Her reply was “Work!” As in, I hear you and accept it. Now, will she encounter nice guys who turn into trolls calling her a gold digger when asked about their income status? Probably. But at least the first was decent enough to not be and the world moves on.

Find Mister Helpful’s Dating Guide on Facebook, hit the LIKE button and read the expanded versions of this column and others. Next month – Dating a Musician – It’s not as bad as it used to be. Okay, maybe a little like it used to be. But romantically, it’s a ride!

“She’s working Tomorrow!”

The Original Local’s Liquor Store On the corner of 40 and Hilltop Pkwy

10 to 10 Mon. – Thurs. 10 to Midnight Fri. & Sat. 11:30 to 7:30 Sundays

Hayden Branch

101 N. 6th Street


750 Hospital Loop Craig, Colorado 81625 Phone: 970-824-9411 e-mail:

Is Your Dog Itchy? It Just Might be Lice! Unfortunately, we are having an outbreak of Lice in Steamboat Springs.

Lice are easy to treat and prevent, call for treatment today!

Happy Pets! Happy People! 102 Anglers Drive

970-879-5273 People have no tolerance. They think all bugs are bad. It’s the American way. If you don’t like something, kill it. –Carl Olson


May 2017

Valley Voice

Here Knitty-Knitty

Special Stitches By LA Bourgeois

Whenever I look at a piece of knitting – whether it is poorly conceived or a ravishing work of art – I feel happiness. The sheer amount of work that went into that multicolored intarsia onesie for your boyfriend sends me into the same amount of awe reserved for the delicate touch of your needles in that elegant lace merino christening shawl. One will be a cherished heirloom; the other shared all over the internet by loons offering up punchlines. While I might wonder why anyone would spend the time on such a thing, I cannot deny the pleasure taken from completing a large project. The perserverance. The pride in your stitches. The even tension. That one row where everything worked and the colors looped themselves together seamlessly and none of your bobbins tangled. Remember when you had to rip back to your lifeline because the numbers were off on a resting row? I love knitting. I mean, really love knitting. Some might say obsessed. Each loop of the yarn, each slip of the needle, each row completed gives me joy. Because of my knitting restrictions (damn you, tendonitis! Get thee out of my hands!), I am knitting just a few meaningful stitches each day. Occasionally, I’ll go exploring to see what others are knitting.

If you are confused by those last two sentences and wish to put in the time, find your nearest knitter and ask. You may want a drink, but refrain from alcohol. You want to stay clearheaded for this one. These are the stories of the knitting trenches. These are the moments when you said, “You know what? Green and

Get all your summer sports swag!

purple make me happy! If he can’t find joy in wearing this onesie, maybe he’s not the dude for me.” FYI – even if you just wear it around the house, she’ll know you love it deep down. Just wear it around the house. Please. Don’t step out the door. No one else needs to see you like that. I have been a production knitter. I churned out a sweater in nine days. I test-knitted pieces I would have never chosen. I persisted in finishing them by sitting myself in a chair with a television series on Netflix, quick bathroom breaks, and a promise to do another eight hours of “who the heck thought these two colors would go together?” the next day. Hat after sweater after cowl after mitten knit up as Christmas presents each year. Now, with my new reality of knitting equaling pain, my knitting has moved from production to process. Knitting has become mystical, magical, a special activity enjoyed with selection rather than long rows of mindless knitting. Each stitch savored. Each moment enjoyed. My knitting has always been a meditation. When my confidence was shattered, I knitted it back together. During our move across the country, I knitted to ease my heart. As we continue through this transition, I knit to give my soul space. Knitting time-travels, creating a link to the past or the future with a sweater you made for that child who isn’t conceived yet; that afghan you started before they were born and finally gifted on their eighteenth birthday; your first hat, full of dropped stitches and little bumps of extra fabric. Knitting is your love made physical with soft yarn and thousands of stitches. For myself, I enjoy a cozy cardigan. For you, a pair of socks. How about a shawl for our neighbor when her uncle passes? A cowl reminds Mom that we remember her. These feelings can be shared by any crafter. You may crochet or tat or cross-stitch or quilt or sew or felt or scrapbook or something else, but each crafter, each dedicated crafter, feels the same way about their craft. Crafting feeds them in a way which, I think, can be summed up in this quote by Elizabeth Zimmermann: “Isn’t being necessary the greatest form of earthly bliss?” Oh yes. Just maybe not that onesie for your boyfriend.

Steamboat Specialties

(970) 879.6587 | | 35 11th St. #120 | @SteamboatSpecialties

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

- Consider supporting LA Bourgeois’ delightful adventures online at

Valley Voice

The Paw Print

It Was The Best of Times By Debora Black

Lymphoma isn’t curable in canines, but the last of your savings account buys you a nine-month remission. You and your white dog, Io, sit on the floor with Tycho during his treatments. You bring him back to strong with soft-mashed eggs and warm chicken. It will be the three of you for as long as you can. You are all together in your home when Tycho dies. You are pressed against him and watching his life pass out of your hands. You don’t make a sound because there is no sound to make. The next day you load Tycho’s body into your SUV, and you and Io drive him the four hours down the mountain to the crematory in Fort Collins. By the time you see the facility behind the trees, you are shaking and still not believing, and you begin to cry, but you get that under control before you open your car door. You and Io wait long hours before you have your boy back and your hands are wrapped tightly around the warm box. It’s another hour before you reach Poudre Canyon and the long road to home. Io is sleeping in the back. The box is on the console beside you. You put your hand on it now and then to make sure. You begin the slow climb into the mountains. You watch the full of night arrive. You lose track of the road and the canyon walls and the river far below. You drive carefully, rising up into the blinding black, into the bright silent stars, into the untouchable place of Tycho, Io, and you.

The Rainbow Bridge Group brought pet cremation services to Steamboat Springs in June, 2005. Services continue because of the partnership among the Rainbow Bridge Group, the City of Steamboat Springs, and the Routt County Humane Society. Individual pet cremation is available.

May 2017

Watching the Horses Run



A Prayer? By Marian Tolles

By Cody Badaracca

The sun is warm and slipping down the West, slowly pulling the pants off the day, but the air is just colder than breath so that clouds of steam jet out from the dogs and horses when they snort and whimper. Beautiful machines full of pulleys and flexible high-tensile wires and glossy finish. It’s springtime in the Mountains. The sun’s bullet holes are letting the air escape and winter’s hydraulics lose slow pressure. Persephone gets a break from the ol’ ball and rusty chain, always grabbing at her thighs with dirty coalminer hands and hoar frost in his beard. Chapped lips, and smelling of frozen death. The cold drips off her brittle bones and darkness sinks back into the ground. The invisible fossils of water, and ghosts of the Solstice ride off with the wind that brings the lilt of blackbirds and the welcoming thaw of frozen horseshit in the fields.

A Prayer? Hey out there, are you listening? I wish you would give some little sign. Where is there, and who are you? Not, I think, the old man in white robes sitting on a cloud as I pictured you in Sunday school. Later in church I yawned through sermons And thought if Heaven were anything like church It must be pretty boring. Who wants to live foever in a gated community, St. Peter keeping guard, where Muslims, Hindus, Buddhists and other heathens need not apply? I don’t want a mansion with many rooms Shared with all who have gone before, whose names I probably wouldn’t remember anyway. Somehow I doubt you even have a right hand, For I suspect you are not a being But a universal force, an energy that creates stars And galaxies and sometimes taps us on the Shoulder when we least expect it.

And despite the nervous tension in the animals, who can’t see around the edge of the bend, who believe the earth is flat and that oblivion is uncoiling underneath them,

And when we die that spark within that we call life rejoins the force, to swirl among the constellations. Can one pray to an amorphous energy? So many questions, so few answers,

I’m enjoying the day and the sun’s lurid promises of summer and sex and fire and bourbon. I’m enjoying watching the horses run the fence line. They’re machines gone haywire and will run and run in the otherwise silence, until the bolts in the earth loosen beneath them.

But if you are out there, and if you are listening, I wish you would give some little sign.

Knitters use knitting to value-add to the world. –Stephanie Pearl-McPhee


May 2017

Valley Voice

A Short Story

A Good Friday By Mandy Miller

the rough fabric of the sleeve of his robe scraping her cheek. She’d parked her car behind the church, where a pumpjack sputtered and creaked, draining whatever oil remained entombed below. She saw a storm moving in the east, blackening stratus clouds strafing the sky, but she would go west. It took three tries to goad the engine to life and once it did turn over, she swore not to turn it off until she got to Las Vegas. The first day she got as far as Fort Bliss on I-10. The landscape of cotton fields and tumbleweeds was monotonous, which further sapped her will. She pulled into a rest stop, but kept the engine running. Night was coming fast and she watched as long haul truckers readied rigs for sleep and families walked dogs, and even one cat, before getting back into minivans to go places she’d never been, never go. She opened the glove box and pulled out an amber colored pill bottle, the prescription she’d refilled days before. The label said “limit 2 per day.” She twirled the bottle as she had a mason jar of M&Ms at the county fair in El Paso and tried to count how many were inside, but she knew. She picked at the flaking scabs on her neck. She put the bottle back in the glove box and smiled at the sight of daylight creeping along the horizon.

She knew it was time to leave for good, but she went to church one last time. To keep up appearances, as she’d always done. She hurried down the aisle and took her seat, alone, first pew, its wood worked to a shine by use. In somber attire, the crowd was already seated, waiting in silence. She felt their eyes on her, her clothes, her hair, her glasses mended with scotch tape. She stood and sat and bowed in unison with them as had been her practice, fingering the crimson welts on her arm, unworried now that they would see. An empty cross floated, suspended on wires, spectral, above the altar. No bloody Jesus, no nails. It must be nice to be unseen, she thought. There but not, here but not. Was nothing something that mattered, she wondered as the pastor ascended up into the unadorned pulpit. He wore the black robe and white tippet she’d ironed that morning like armor. The words of the gospel flowed from his mouth, his tone solemn, his eyes fierce. “And it was about the sixth hour,” he said reading from the Gospel of Luke, “and there was a darkness over all the earth until the ninth hour. And the sun was darkened, and the veil of the temple was rent in the midst.” She sat erect as a pencil, her gaze never leaving him. Both hands brushing the soft, cool cotton of her new dress, she thought of what was to come and bit back a smile. He continued, “and when Jesus had cried with a loud voice, he said, Father, into thy hands I commend my spirit: and having said thus, he gave up the ghost.” As he spoke she felt a shiver run down her spine.

Behind her, she knew they were stealing sideways glances at each other to see who kept their eyes open during prayer, who flubbed the words of the Apostles’ Creed, who was wearing red. He stepped down from the pulpit and spread his arms in benediction. “Upon you was laid the grief of us all. It is finished. God of endings, God of darkness, God of the tomb, God of dark days and great loss, be with us now as we wait with Jesus.” She felt the sadness would last forever, its black stamp as indelible as stigmata. She waited in line with others to touch his sleeve and say what a wonderful sermon it had been to which he offered no reply. He’d already moved on to clasp the hands of the parishioner behind her and then the next, assuring them all that the words he’d shared were not his, but those of The Lord and all power be to him. Outside, she reveled in a deep breath of fresh air. She walked down the rickety wooden stairs in front of the white clapboard church, her eyes downcast. No obligatory hellos today, although she’d known each and every congregant most of her life. At least since her sixteenth birthday, when he’d driven her to Middle City from the orphanage in El Paso, a place “corrupted by man, then forsaken by God” he’d said. Before church, she’d told him she had an errand to run afterwards. Yes, she knew it was the holiest of days, but she needed to refill her pills. “You know how I get if I don’t take them,” she’d said, “but I’ll be home to put lunch on the table on time at one.” It was to be his favorite, of course, pot roast, potatoes, and peas and carrots followed by apple pie, “no ice cream this time,” she’d said. He’d frowned at that, so she’d been quick to add “remember what the doctor said about your high cholesterol dear.” Aware his flock would keep the fast that day, he hushed her and pushed her aside,

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On the second day, she had to get gas in El Paso, at a truck stop that offered “clean showers 24/7.” She prayed the car would restart, and when it did she swallowed one of the pills to celebrate getting closer to her destination. She’d forgone prayers by the time she reached Phoenix, opting instead for two pills when the car restarted in the city whose temperature, she’d wager, would fry its namesake, not free it. On the third day, the lights of Vegas erupted out of the bowels of the desert. The metropolis outlined in neon pierced the onyx, starless sky. She imagined a dome over Vegas, a toy town inside a snow globe, but with sand, like the one her father had given her for Christmas before he disappeared. “Sin City” he’d called it, and she’d wondered if it was full of devils. She liked the name, The Shalimar Motel, so she got a room just for her. Paid cash. The manager didn’t ask her name, where she was from, nothing, so she didn’t have to lie. Her room was on the second floor. Double bed, rusty microwave, lamp with a burned out bulb, and a TV with rabbit ears antennae. Smelled musty. Sitting on the lumpy bed, she tipped the pills out of the bottle and ran her fingers over their velvety surface. She closed her eyes and pretended she was floating in the pool across the parking lot, its water azure like the pills. He’d said women in bikinis were floozies. She needed to buy a swimming suit and maybe a cap with rubber flowers like the old movie stars wore. She put the pills back in the bottle and the bottle in the nightstand drawer. The night felt like a warm shawl wrapping around her body as she walked The Strip. Women in bustiers and men wearing only body paint strolled with ease among tourists who were snapping shots of volcanic fountains and the Eiffel Tower. No one said anything to or at her

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but for the woman who sold her her first pair of blue jeans who said, “those look great on you” and she felt a balloon open in her chest. She left her dress in the changing room and wore the jeans out of the store along with a blue T-shirt emblazoned with the logo of a flying red horse that he would have said should have been worn by a gas station attendant. She paused at a storefront selling frozen daiquiris. She liked pink so she got strawberry. It made her brain freeze and her heart dance, although she never had. She watched the crowd leaning on the bar, laughing, sipping from foot long straws. She peered through portholes that looked like smiley faces as the gleaming metal machines turned water into rainbow ice. She was drawn to a silver needle piercing the night sky in the distance, its apex ablaze with lights the color of Dorothy’s ruby slippers. The sign outside said “Stratosphere.” The elevator delivered her to the top in less time than she used to take to say her bedtime prayers. “Now I lay me down to sleep...” She chose the front car on X-Scream, a roller coaster that had been suspended over the side of the tower by men she imagined must have had faith. As the coaster rocketed around and around, the world below became a blurry kaleidoscope of light and she thought about the rickety wooden coaster at the Middle City fair that had burned to the ground the Sunday he’d preached that not keeping the sabbath holy was a mortal sin. Her head still spinning from the ride, she walked back towards The Shalimar Motel. Next to a building shaped like a circus tent, light flooded through an open door. She stopped and gazed up at a mural of a guardian angel painted on the facade of the pyramid shaped structure. She ascended the steps and peeked inside. A huge crucifix hung over the altar, another mural of a guardian angel looked down upon Jesus nailed to the cross. She shivered, but before she could step back outside, a steady voice spoke from behind. “Good evening Miss. Welcome to Guardian Angel Chapel. May I help you?” She turned and saw a priest standing in the doorway of the sanctuary. She said nothing. The priest, a hand light on her shoulder, guided her inside leading her to the front pew.

May 2017


A Closer Look

Homeopathic Teething Products -Not So Safe By Monica Yager

Homeopathic products, by definition, contain so littleto-none of the claimed active ingredients that they normally do not pose a safety hazard. In the case of Hyland’s Homeopathic Teething Tablets, the dilution rate is 1 part active ingredient to 1 trillion parts water, which would make it just plain water with no particular healing properties. But in 2010, a safety alert was issued about teething tablets and the FDA (Food and Drug Administration) started to investigate adverse events reported to the agency regarding infants and children who were given these types of products. Seizures were the most reported condition, but difficulty breathing, lethargy, skin flushing, constipation and difficulty urinating were also reported. Two teething products were reported to the FDA in conjunction with these adverse events; Hyland’s Homeopathic Teething Tablets and a product marketed through CVS. Both contained belladonna, a known extremely toxic plant with unpredictable effects. But, because the products were declared to be homeopathic, the FDA’s highly sensitive testing should not have detected any of the substance in those products. In 2016, the situation became urgent when testing revealed that belladonna alkaloids were not only detected, but detected in amounts far exceeding the amounts on the label. Also, the content was not uniform, meaning some tablets would have no belladonna alkaloids present while other tablets had an excessive amount. The FDA concluded that a poorly controlled manufacturing process posed an unnecessary risk to children and requested both companies to recall those products. The CVS products were immediately recalled, but those from Hyland’s, as of 2017, had no such recall, Hyland deciding instead to simply stop selling teething products in the United States. That left an untold amount of those products still sitting in warehouses and on store shelves while retailers, adverse to be stuck with product they have paid for, continued to get

rid of their stock by selling it off to consumers. The risk to children was exponentially made worse by the fact that homeopathic anything is marketed and sold as “natural,” which oftentimes translates to safe. Parents and caregivers, meaning well, can easily overdose fussy, teething children by giving too many or too frequently those children’s tablets that are so natural and safe and nice. But there is nothing safe or nice about this. First of all, there’s homeopathy, an irrational concept from the early 1800’s. Then there’s a potent poison, used in ancient Rome as an agent of murder and in the Middle Ages on poison tipped arrows, which has never been tested for safety or effectiveness and has no proven health benefits. Combine those with the notion it would be a great moneymaker to sell as a teething product for children. Not a shining moment in the alternative health world. However, on April 13, 2017, the FDA announced Standard Homeopathic Company, the manufacturer of Hyland’s Teething Products, is recalling Hyland’s Baby Teething Tablets and Hyland’s Baby Nighttime Teething Tablets. https://

Monica Yager is a graduate of Brown Institute, Minneapolis, MN and attended Colorado Northwest Community College (CNCC) and Colorado Mountain College (CMC) Arts & Humanities program. A Closer Look is the culmination of witnessing first-hand the wackiness of the alternative health world as former owner of a health food store and the encouragement of a couple of professors to write, write, write.

Artwork by Cully Kistler

“You may pray here if you wish,” he said before kneeling on the ground beside where she stood. She looked down at him, his black cassock in soft folds. She knelt beside him and looked up at Jesus. After a while, the priest rose and offered his hand so that she might rise too. “Happy Easter,” he said before walking down the aisle and out into the night. She rose and washed her face and feet. She noticed the scars on her arms were gone. She went to the nightstand and took out the pill bottle. It was cool to the touch. She unscrewed the lid and shook all of the pills out into her shaking hand, letting the bottle and lid drop to the floor. The room was bathed in first light coming through the open blinds, rays brighter than she had ever known. She flushed the pills, one by one, down the toilet.

Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase. –Martin Luther King Jr.


May 2017

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Your Monthly Message By Chelsea Yepello Aries

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May 20 - June 20


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Virgo August 23 - September 22 L next time you are on Youtube you will E The R A P AP


Recreational: 8am - 10pm Medical: 8am - 7pm 1755 Lincoln Avenue Steamboat Springs, CO On the Free Bus Route

970-870-2941 For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

October 24 - November 21

You will find yourself in a bookstore asking the salesperson if they have that book about God creating the earth or something... you’re not sure who wrote it though.




Technology has ruined the aspect of terror in horror movies. Lost in the back roads of Texas?... Use your GPS. Are the calls coming from inside the house?... No big deal, its just a cell phone. In your panic state, you cant unlock your car door?... Keyless entry. Stupid technology is ruining it for all the serial killers out there. Seriously, they have feelings too. Your friends will soon learn that the secret ingredient to your world famous apple pie is not “love” as you previously claimed. But don’t worry... you’ll take care of them....



April 20 - May 20

When they say that you look at your life through rose-colored glasses, what E they S AT life R T really mean is that you look at your N E C CON throughSdirt-caked goggles after a dune S A L G buggy race.

September 23 - October 23

When you thought that you would turn to religion, you didn’t expect to have to turn to your left and bow to your partner.

One day the world will be taken over by angry vegans that prohibit the consumption of any animal products and require everyone to wear coarse smocks made only of hemp. Until then, you should throw on your leather jacket, zip up your ass-less chaps, grab yourself a big juicy hamburger and kick back.




March 21 - April 19

Although you are one of those people that get freaked out when there is too much uncomfortable silence in the room, you will appreciate the quiet when that long, drawn out hush is the only thing that separates you from the one thing you don’t want to hear.

November 22 - December 21

This week, you have gotten so wrapped up in your personal life that it totally slipped your mind that you were a vital part of a time sensitive scheme to steal millions of dollars from large corporations, as you are the only one with the code. You should really check your text messages.


December 22 - January 19

You act like being at the end of your rope is a bad thing. Think about gym class: either you are at the end of the rope and are safely on the ground or you are on the other end and finally have the ability to ring that dumb bell that the gym teacher put up there for “motivation.”


January 20 - February 18

You buy a fish in your pursuit to become a more responsible adult. Unfortunately, your excitement of being a pet owner dissipates when you realize that fish just swim around in their little bowl, they don’t talk, and they have no telepathic powers.


February 19 - March 20

Although you are curious about what it feels like, putting your tongue on a 9 volt battery does not actually explain what love feels like. But it’s close.

happen upon an animated video of a rebellious and zany dog that has an uncanny resemblance to you.

Home Sweet Home

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May 2017

By Matt Scharf

Sloughing Support

“Oh my, This says you’re screwed”



May 2017

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