Valley Voice June 2017

Page 1

June 2017 . Issue 6.6


a member managed llc

Steamboat Springs Hayden Oak Creek Yampa

Photo by Scott Kimmey


June 2017

Valley Voice


OPTIONAL Donations ONLY for Chief Theater Renovations

Summer. Fun. Steamboat. 8:00 pm Super Funning, had me a blast... Super Funning, happened so fast.

All Free Shows in 2017! June Focus: Help us make Chief Theater even better!

You know the Super Fun Steamboat Show loves our home, the Chief Theater. We couldn’t do our show without it. And since we’re doing all FREE shows in 2017, with only optional donations to a specific cause or charity each show, we wanted to help our beloved Chief get a new facelift.

Guys vs. Girls!

Karaoke Gong Show

“Summer Nights”

In December 2016, the Chief Theater began a remodel of its “small theater” to convert it into a multi-use “green room” (although legal in Colorado, it’s not what you think. A “green room” is where performers change and get ready for a show. Groups that need meeting space also can use it. It adds more class to the joint—sorry, bad choice of word).

From Grease

Winner gets $30 cash! 813 Lincoln Avenue 970-871-4791

Super Fun Steamboat Show Next Show:

Friday, June 2, 2017 Doors Open: 7:30 p.m. Show Starts: 8:00 p.m.

Tickets: FREE Ages 18+ Recommended (mature and sometimes immature content)

Background Photo by: Crash Sterne

Due to unforeseen circumstances, the project is more than double over budget, and it has put a financial strain on the Chief Theater. If the theater is to continue its eclectic mix of live theater, music, comedy, magic, dance and films, it needs some help raising funds to pay for the completion of this renovation … and we’re just the group to chip in and help. Please join us, supporting the theater, local arts and performers, and having a Super Fun time!


Always with NEW material and guests! Super Fun Sponsors: We couldn’t have a Super Fun Show, or afford this Super Fun Page in the awesome Valley Voice, without our sponsors.



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Steamboat Springs, Colorado

DISCLAIMER: The views expressed on this Super Fun Page are those of the Super Fun Steamboat Show and not necessarily shared by the Valley Voice and its management.

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

Valley Voice

June 2017


Contents June-alicious! Page 4 By Matt Scharf

Founders KBS Page 4 By Eric Kemper

Go Figure? Credit Bubbles Always Pop

Page 7

Be A Part Of Art

Page 8

Yampatika’s Wild Edible Feast

Page 9

Old timers who are smarter than you...

A Day for Writers

Page 9

Go Ahead, Dare Me

Page 10


By Yampatika

Sales: Eric Kemper Event Calendar: Nina Rogers

By Steamboat Writers Group By Lyn Wheaton

Official Fine Print

Advertisers assume full responsibility for the entire content and subject matter of their ads. In the event of error or omission in the advertisement, the publisher’s sole responsibility shall be to publish the advertisement at a later date. Advertisements and articles are accepted and published upon the representation that the author, agency and/or advertiser is authorized to publish the entire contents and subject matter thereof. The author, agency, and/ or advertiser will indemnify and save Valley Voice, LLC harmless from all claims and legal action resulting from the contents of the articles or advertisements including claims or suits resulting from libel, defamation, plagiarism, rights to privacy and copyright infringements.

By Aimee Kimmey

Being selfish in front of your neighbors… The division in our country… Not sharing the road… Newbies who are smarter than you...

The beginning of a new green season… Cabaret! Rocked it!...

Wolves in Love

Page 12

Dry-Fly vs. Nymph-Fly Fishing

Page 17

Calendar of Events

Page 18

Watching indoor cats enjoy the outdoors for the first time…

News from the Chief of the Chief

Page 19

Random kindness...

By Debora Black

By Nina Rogers

By Scott Parker

Bud Werner Memorial Library… Courteous drivers…

Mighty Dollar Page 20 By Wandering Rose

Control Issues and Dating

Page 21

Hemp Oil: Not What You Think

Page 22

The Ghost In The Knitting

Page 23

Pregnant? Navigating Health Care

Page 24

By Mr. Helpful, MD By Monica Yager By LA Bourgeois

By Nancy Spillane

Colorado Corn Page 25 By Fred Robinson

Your Monthly Message By Chelsea Yepello

Page 26

Comics Page 27

The views and opinions expressed reflect the views and opinions of the authors and may not necessarily reflect the views and opinion of the editor, staff or advertisers in Steamboat’s Valley Voice.

Say What?... “This whole work thing isn’t for me; I wanna go back to being an international man of leisure” “He’s more nervous than a hypochondriac without health insurance” “We do we want, we’re from Chicago” “What’s a local?” “Yup, we’re landscaping the country” “Permits? We don’t need no stinking permits!”

Never Miss an Issue! Go Old School!

Direct all correspondence, articles, editorials or advertisements to the address below. The author’s signature and phone number must accompany letters to the editor. Names will be withheld upon request (at the discretion of the publisher). Submission is no guarantee of publication.

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Please make checks payable to: Valley Voice, LLC P.O. Box 770743 • Steamboat Springs, CO 80487 Thank you for your support!

Events that don’t pertain…

Sharing the road with a wave…

Faulty Toilet Page 11

By Peter Parsons

Valley Voice is published monthly and distributed on the last Wednesday of each month. Please address letters, questions, comments or concerns to: Valley Voice, LLC, P.O. Box 770743 or come by and see us at 1125 Lincoln Ave, Unit 2C, Steamboat Springs, CO 80477. Or contact Matt Scharf: 970-846-3801. Scott Ford: 970-819-9630. Website Subscription rate is $40 per year (12 issues). All content © 2017 Valley Voice, L.L.C. No portion of the contents of this publication may be reproduced in any manner without the written permission from the Valley Voive.

Economic bubble rodeo…

Page 6

By Dagny McKinley

Scott Ford

Moving an old barn at the cost of $500k…

Those Damn Hippies at Oak Creek Part II

By Scott L. Ford

Business Manager:

Road construction… everywhere…

Page 5

By Scott L. Ford

Publisher/Art Director: Matt Scharf

The Igloo Day Care…

Understanding Steamboat Springs’ Income

By Paul and Ellen Bonnifield


Last May storm in Ward, Colorado Photo by Crash Sterne


We all belong to an ancient identity. Stories are the rivers that take us there.—Frank Delaney


June 2017

Valley Voice

My Line

Drink of the Month

By Matt Scharf

By Eric Kemper


Founders KBS I consulted RateBeer to find a good store in Albuquerque, and it did not disappoint. When I walked in, I knew I had found something because the clerk was just putting up a display stack of Founders KBS, a beer I considered to be one of my ‘whales.’ ‘Whales,’ in beer parlance, are the rare, unobtainable beers that you never see, but hear great tales of their merits and glories. Everyone’s whale list is different. Some people hate IPA’s, others chase relentlessly after Heady Topper and Pliny The Younger. Founders KBS was one of mine, as are Founders CBS, 3 Floyds Dark Lord and Westvleteren XII (Anyone who has access to these, let’s talk trade!)

Hello All, Here we go again, gearing up for another summer season in the Yampa Valley. The Valley Voice is here to entertain (and inform) the days where reading might take precedence over all the fun activities that this area provides. To make sure you hit all the things called “fun,” make sure to turn to our center section and find the City of Steamboat Spring’s ad. Please find all the information you need to get out there and take advantage of it all. The concept was to use the illustrated area map of Steamboat as a backdrop to help people orient themselves to our city and all the ammenities the City has to offer. We welcome the City of Steamboat as one of our new advertisers in the Valley Voice. On a recent history note; Cabaret, Rockin’ the ‘Boat was very fun this year! Oh, Mr. Jolly was a hit, along with the rest of the cast. My favorite were the various band names. Iron Horse and the Flour Mills, S.W. and the Trolls, etc. Make sure you see it next year. It is one of the highlights in this town for all things “local.” Look out summer! The Valley Voice is going to be a lot bigger in the upcoming months. Why not? It’s the busiest time of the year. If you would like to contribute or advertise with us, (or just to rant) please contact Matt at or Eric at

Professional Design Services Illustration

40+ years experience

Graphic Design Industrial Design Museum Design

Matt Scharf Design

Signage CAD/ 3D

Which brings us to the beer:

Beer, for all of its complexity and ubiquity, is such a simple beverage. It has only four ingredients, yet in every glass is contained a history of the world from which each beer originates. Water, malt, hops and yeast are all it takes to make this most popular of drinks worldwide. The type of grains, hops and yeast strains the brewer selects determines the characteristics in each glass, and what story that particular beer will tell. Some of the most interesting stories come from travel and travelers. I once heard said of travel: “How can we be sure we live in the best place if we don’t venture out and check for ourselves every once in a while?” In this spirit, I headed out this spring to the desert, as is the custom for Steamboat Springs. A few days in New Mexico to soak up some sun and eat green chile would be just the thing to put the mud season blues behind me. Whenever I go someplace new, the liquor stores are one of the things I always want to see. I have worked in the Colorado liquor business since 1999, and I am still fascinated by the options available to us. We in Colorado are spoiled; we brew an amazing lineup of beers in the state, and this reputation makes other great breweries around the country want to come into the Colorado market to see how their wares are received by the highly discerning masses. We also have nascent wine and distilling industries, and some of the biggest liquor stores anywhere in the world. Other places aren’t nearly as lucky as we are. Jim Beam, Grey Goose and Budweiser are everywhere; sometimes that’s all the variety you’re going to get. But even in these less bountiful places, there are gems to be found. You just have to know where to look.


For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

Founders Brewing, out of Grand Rapids, Michigan, does not distribute in Colorado. They are in most of the country, but the Mountain West seems to be their final frontier. This is a shame, as we miss out on some great beers, but it is also a smart business move. It is better to stay out of a market altogether rather than go in before you are ready. Outages, shorted allocations, over-promises and under-deliveries can do great damage to a brand, so it makes sense to wait if you can’t make enough beer to keep people happy. And what a beer this is! Founders Breakfast Stout is a rich dark beer made with coffee, bitter chocolate and flaked oats for a creamy mouthfeel. But this isn’t just any old 8.3% Breakfast Stout; this is KBS, or Kentucky Breakfast Stout. The stout is now, at 11.8%, an Imperial Stout that has been cave aged for a year in Kentucky Bourbon barrels.

Pouring black and viscous, the beer forms a nice cinnamon-colored head. The nose is rich with coffee and bitter chocolate, but there is an undertone of alcohol that lets you know the strength that KBS brings to bear. Fortunately, this strength does not translate into the beer having a lot of alcohol heat, which can detract from many barrel aged strong beers. The flavors jockey for position; bold dark malts, coffee and chocolate are all abundant. The finish is long, with the oak and vanilla notes from bourbon barrels lingering as a counterpoint to the chocolate. While this beer is very good now, given a couple years of cellaring, the flavors will meld and mature and this beer will be absolutely amazing. There’s nothing like the finds we get to make when we travel. Cheers!

Valley Voice

June 2017


Economics Common Sense of Our Dollars and Cents

Understanding Steamboat Springs’ Income By Scott L. Ford It takes money to live in Steamboat Springs. How much money will be the topic of my next series of columns in the Valley Voice. In this series, I will cover the sources of our household income, how that income is spent and lastly, how much of that income is spent locally. To the degree possible, I will identify trends that are occurring and how Steamboat compares to similar Colorado mountain communities. When I reference Steamboat I am referring to the greater metro area of Steamboat. This includes those who live within the City limits and those who live in the surrounding neighborhoods such as Treehaus, Silver Spur, Heritage Park and Steamboat II. To begin, with one of the most misunderstood bits of data I often hear referenced is Per Capita Income. It is misunderstood because it is not the average wage of jobs in Steamboat. Per Capita Income is nothing more than a way to determine if the income in an area is increasing or decreasing. In 2015, the Per Capita Income for Steamboat was $36,199. The calculation behind this number is pretty basic. The aggregate income from all sources is divided by the non-group housed population. Non-group population are those folks living in a household. The group population are those folks living in a recognized institution such as a prison, military base, dorm, asylum, nursing homes, etc. In 2015, the total population was 17,272 and the group population in Steamboat was 390. The group population in Steamboat consists of those living at Colorado Mountain College and Casey’s Pond. For Steamboat, the aggregate income in 2015 was $611,104,100 and the non-group population was 16,882, (17,272-390=16,882). The Per Capita Income was $36,199 ($611,104,100/16,882 = $36,199)

Per Capita Income Inflation Adjusted to 2015 Dollars 2009























Crested Butte
















Steamboat Spgs.


















Crested Butte*


Steamboat Spgs.















Aspen % Labor Source % Non-labor Source

57% 43%

59% 41%

55% 45%

59% 41%

63% 37%

63% 37%

66% 34%

Breckenridge % Labor Source % Non-labor Source

82% 18%

82% 18%

80% 20%

81% 19%

78% 22%

75% 25%

75% 25%

Crested Butte % Labor Source % Non-labor Source

89% 11%

85% 15%

82% 18%

83% 17%

81% 19%

81% 19%

82% 18%

Durango % Labor Source % Non-labor Source

71% 29%

76% 24%

77% 23%

76% 24%

76% 24%

76% 24%

74% 26%

Steamboat Springs % Labor Source % Non-labor Source

80% 20%

80% 20%

78% 22%

78% 22%

77% 23%

73% 27%

73% 27%

Telluride % Labor Source % Non-labor Source

74% 26%

85% 15%

77% 23%

74% 26%

69% 31%

66% 34%

66% 34%

The next level of income analysis involves looking at the sources of household income. Sources of income can be separated into two basic types: • Labor Source Income (Wage/Salary and Self Employment)

Inflation Adjusted Change in Per Capita Income 2009 to 2015

Earnings vs. Non-Labor Source Household Income

When adjusted for inflation none of the comparable mountain communities have recovered to their pre-Great Recession Per Capita Income levels.

• Non-Labor Source Income - (Interest, Investments, Royalties Retirement Pensions, Social Security, Disability, Social Assistance Programs) An identified trend that can be seen in Breckenridge, Crested Butte, Steamboat Sprgs., and Telluride is that a lower percentage of total household income is coming from Labor Sources. This trend is important to recognize because it highlights a shift in the economic foundation of a community as it shifts increasingly to non-labor source household income. This will mean that the direct ties households have with the economic activity occurring in their area are becoming weaker. Although classified as earnings, the income Location Neutral Businesses generate contribute to this trend. As a result, when some says that some activity is good for the economy – one must ask, “Whose Economy?” The answer to this question is going to be increasingly complex.

One Party with underage drinking can ruin your summer!

Don’t be a party to underage drinking. Hosting parties at your home doesn’t lessen the dangers of alcohol poisonings, brain damage, property damage, accidental injuries or car crashes that can occour. circa, 1938 Every day is a journey, and the journey itself is home.--Matsuo Basho


June 2017

Valley Voice

Bonnifield Files

Be Local & Eat Local! Amazing baked goodies, quiche, breakfast burritos, sausage rolls, plus great coffee and tea.

Those Damn Hippies at Oak Creek: Part II 198 East Lincoln Ave. Hayden, Colorado 970-276-4250

By Ellen & Paul Bonnifield Mon.-Fri. 9-6 Sat. 9-5 Sun. 11-3 In Central Park Plaza


We’re all shook up about the Yampa River Festival! After graduating from college, an East Coast couple from a solid middle class neighborhood, knowing they wanted to ski, threw a dart at a Colorado map. It stuck near Steamboat Springs. Heading out in their mobile home converted from an old school bus, their lives had a new dance step. Stopping in Oak Creek, they found the town filled with dancers like themselves, living free of conventional social/economic pressure crushing their souls. Others came from the east on work crews planting trees, or surveying with seismograph crews. Many liked the mountains and stayed. Oak Creek was a sharply divided community with one group seeing themselves as free spirits; the other side didn’t like hippies. Adding to the human stew was the community’s long tradition as a wide-open, two fisted town. Noreen and Dinty Moore operated the pizza place in the back of the Colorado Bar. Noreen tended the bar while Dinty made pizzas. Often, someone would drink a couple of beers and go on the fight. Usually the hippies were not the fighters. They believed in peace and making love; the red necks were “He Men.” Red necks hung out at the Elks Bar; any male hippie chancing into the bar found himself fighting and not drinking. Even the unsuspecting were in danger. Once, a longhaired stranger stopped to use the public telephone near the old town hall. He was attacked and his hair cut. Hippies were anti-Vietnam War doves and used drugs. Red necks were hawks and got roaring drunk. Proud hippie Cargo believed the hippies were politically noninvolved, except the Vietnam War where “they were very passionate.” Another person commented that a house in Nevada was open to draft dodgers on their way to Canada. No one recalled a safe house in Oak Creek, although some men went to Canada for an extended period. The civil rights movement and the hippies flourished during the same historical period, yet the movements were separate. Hippies shared many common beliefs with the Afro-Americans. The clinched fist of Black Power symbolized the civil rights movement in California while hippies were symbolized by the two-fingered “V” shape of the peace sign.

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

Among hippie women, at least in Oak Creek, the civil rights movement for women was one of action, not political protest. They demanded employment in traditional male occupations – coal mines, heavy equipment operators, truck drivers, and all aspects of home construction. As professionals, they became engineers and veterinarians. Usually they faced a living hell before they were accepted, and in a few cases, women remained unwelcome. A longhaired hippie with a Spanish surname faced a hard road to move above sheepherder and railroad gandy dancer. Overall as a group, the Oak Creek hippies were hard working and creative. John Walch, Bill Mathews, and Ed Snider never made a banjo. That is, until they decided to organize the Phippsburg Banjo Company. They made high quality instruments in the old Oak Creek mortuary. Soon after opening, the company was recognized for its quality instruments. The business remained in Oak Creek until an arsonist set fire to their building. Afterwards, the Phippsburg Banjo Company moved to Missouri where it remains in operation. The Bereznaks constructed a new building on Main Street and opened Let’s Dance Studio with offices upstairs. Tamara remains in business and keeps dancing. Bob Rayfort designed a unique rocking chair more comfortable than conventional chairs and Riding My Baby Bicycle factory created custom bicycles. A local candle factory sold originally designed candles held in hand made aspen stands. Elliot Bayly started a wind powered radio station (KBCR) in one end of the Washhouse. The DJs and entire crew were homegrown. Wind power was way ahead of its time. The Washhouse, in addition to the radio station, housed a Laundromat, Mary Jayne’s café, and the front porch where the hippies hung out. The old mortuary, later a church, on Main Street was in terrible condition when Cargo purchased it; howCorky on the banjo.

Valley Voice ever, it had a unique and beautiful front. All colors of glass were broken into small pieces, mixed in mortar, and evenly spread on the outer wall. Rainbow colors sparkled in the sun light. Cargo redesigned the building and had custom-made pillars and rafters. She intended a bar with a recreational area and horseshoe pits, but she had her enemies. As the remodeling was nearing the end, someone set the building afire. It was arson and it was commonly understood who did it. The sheriff’s office did not look too hard for the criminal. Years later, after the statute of limitations expired, he told a few people who told others. She was a damn hippie and the suspect was a member of one of the leading old families. The 1970’s were not only the years of the hippies. Oak Creek was the center of newly revived coal mining and railroading activities. Since long hair on men became stylish, it wasn’t always apparent who belonged to which group. Some longhaired men were politically very conservative and anti-hippie, but they were not above running up a large bill at Maynarich’s Grocery Store and walking off without paying. Johnny lost a lot of money. Mary Maynarich tells, “(Her) husband would catch hippies shoplifting, and he would tell them, ‘if you’re hungry I’ll feed you. Don’t steal from me.’” He fed many hungry drifters, but most of them later paid their bill. One fellow left town owing a large sum. Long after the Maynarichs sold the store, he came back and paid his bill in full. Mary commented that the day’s business receipts often reeked of marijuana smoke. Lombardi’s gas station also lost a lot of money on credit, but they, too, helped hundreds get to work when they had no money for gas. It was common for young people going to work in Steamboat to stand across the street from the Post Office and hitchhike a ride. The heart and soul of Oak Creek during the hippie years was Bessie Dallas, owner and operator of the Colorado Bar. She took every wayward soul under her wing and gave them love and understanding. Not all were hippies. The bartender Jack Crawford left some room for improvement. Bessie had experienced many hard knocks in her trip through life and wanted to remove the stones from others’ pathway. Bessie and the Colorado Bar are remembered for Boogie Night that featured live music and dancing. Every Thursday night, free spirits from all over northwestern Colorado headed to Oak Creek to Boogie Night. If they made it to work Friday it was okay, and if they didn’t and were fired, they figured they were looking for work when they found that job, anyway. The dance floor was always full in the old building. Responding to feet hitting in rhythm, the floor kept time with the music and the walls swayed. John Crawford often thought the building would cave in, but he kept dancing. Older folks came just to watch. Oak Creek was the “happening place.” About 10:00 p.m. July 25, 1982, Officer Reggie Mayes was walking across the street after checking the Colorado Bar. Bessie went to inspect the gas furnace. It exploded while she was in the room, destroying the building. Mayes was thrown to the ground. Rescue efforts soon freed about fifteen people. Bessie was the only person killed. Although the Colorado Bar was rebuilt, Boogie Night died with Bessie and the hippie era passed on. The remaining legacy among the older generation who knew them is “the hippies were good kids.”

June 2017


Go Figure!?

Credit Bubbles Always Pop By Scott L. Ford

I am often asked about what the local or national economy will look like in the next 12 to 18 months. To be clear, this is way beyond my pay-grade to figure out. I do not think even the well-known economists have a very good crystal ball. Although there are some economic fundamentals always at play, human moods/emotions also play a role in the economy. Perhaps this is why Economics is often called the “dismal science.” People can behave in unpredictable ways, sometimes motivated by things that make little sense.

Go Figure? is sponsored by Rocky Mountain Remedies Proudly supporting alternative modalities in medicine and media.

Everything You need for a Happy Father’s Day

There are a few economic indicators that I do pay close attention to. One of those is consumer debt levels. Consumer debt is a crude barometer where economic fundamentals and human moods/emotions overlap. Households are hesitant to increase their consumer debt when they feel uncertain about the future. Lenders are hesitant to loan money to consumers if there is even the smallest chance the borrower may not be able to pay them back. If borrowers and lenders get too confident, things can begin to go wrong. I am concerned that we collectively are letting the emotion called “confidence” get ahead of economic fundamentals. Simply put, households are taking on increasing levels of consumer debt because they “feel” they can afford the monthly payments, and financial institutions are willing to loan them money even if they need to lower their underwriting standards to do so.

in downtown Yampa


Getting the shot no matter what is coming....

The Federal Reserve reports on a quarterly basis the amount of household debt households in America have collectively. Why do they monitor this? It is because in a modern economy, debt and currency (money) are essentially the same thing. American households have never had more non-mortgage debt. During the 4th quarter of 2016, non-mortgage consumer debt exceeded the levels seen prior to the Great Recession. Non-mortgage debt consists of credit cards, home equity, auto and student loans. Auto and student loans are the two debt types that are leading the way to these all-time highs. As of December 31, 2016, below are the auto loan statistics: • Average auto loan: $30,032 — the first time the amount borrowed to buy a new vehicle has topped $30,000. • Average monthly payment: $503 — the first time the average auto payment has gone over the $500 mark. 970.734.4321

Enjoy the Yampa River Festival

• Average term for an auto loan: 68 months — this is the longest average term ever seen. Sub-prime loans are made to folks with marginal credit worthiness. In 2010, sub-prime auto loans accounted for only 5.1% of loans. In 2016, about 33% of the auto loans made were considered sub-prime. This simply means that great piles of money are being loaned to folks to buy new autos where there is a reasonable chance they won’t be able to meet the monthly payments. Sound familiar?

If it’s in stock, we’ve got it! 2570 South Copper Frontage • 970•879•5717

The hippies wanted peace and love. We wanted Ferraris, blondes and switchblades.—Alice Cooper


June 2017

Valley Voice

Beer of the Month:

I’m Yukon Cornelius. You might remember me as Bumbles trusted friend from the Arctic. I got word that someone kidnapped my dear friend and I rushed to Steamboat Springs, from the Arctic, to help Mark and Mimi find him.


Art in the ‘Boat

Be A Part Of Art By Dagny McKinley


Thursday - Saturday: 10am - 11pm Sunday - Wednesday: 10am - 10pm

Bike Tune Ups, Get it done before Spring

1136 Yampa Street • 970.879.2957


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O RB t a TU e for dg n p a i nu WiF KU* Sig d e O nag EE R Ma FR

Coming Soon ….Zirkel TV….

970-871-8500 Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic……… *12 month contract required.Terms and condi5ons apply condi5ons

“Many people feel alienated by art,” said Janet Bradley, Visual Arts and Education Coordinator at the Steamboat Springs Arts Council (SSAC). “I overheard someone at an exhibit say: ‘art makes people feel stupid.’ To some people the art world is mystery, and often what we don’t understand can make us feel intimidated. Interactive Art opens the door, puts out the welcome mat and invites people in.”

Arthur C. Clarke


The “LOCAL’S” choice for Personalized Health Care

Father’s Day Gifts and Summer Fun! We have NON-GMO seeds, wind chimes, lawn tools, soil, COME ON IN! and more.

During the months of June and July, the Depot Art Center is opening their doors and inviting the inner artist in each of us to be a part of art with their Participation Art Exhibits. The community experience launches June 2nd from 5 - 8 p.m. as part of First Friday Art Walk. The exhibits include a tape mural, string art, community collage, poetry word wall and a Dreaming Tree. Anyone can come in and add their artistic vision to the exhibits, which will grow and transform over the course of two months. What artists fear most is making a permanent mistake on their canvas, something that can’t be repositioned or corrected. This month’s tape mural, conceived by Sharon Pace, allows endless possibilities for rearranging, starting over, or being as creative as you like. The poetry word wall, with words chosen by Executive Director of the Arts Council, Kim Keith, allows participants to build off other

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

people’s thoughts and create a universal or communal story. Word choice and arrangement allow for inspiration, reflection and contemplation. The community collage, with Sue Oehme, will follow a Matisse theme with colored paper and big, bright abstract shapes. In the platform gallery, fun with string ensues. Candice Jones will be creating a grid where string, yarn, twine, cord and all manner of color and textures along with found objects can be strung together in an endless possibility of arrangements. On the Dreaming Tree you can hang dreams or wishes written on origami paper and then folded into the shape of a bird. Dona Steele’s vision will bring to life the birds and the tree. The inspiration for the Dreaming Tree came from Yoko Ono’s ‘Wish Tree.’ Since 1993, the Wish Tree has been a part of exhibits in cities around the world. In January of this year, visitors to the Guggenheim Museum in New York wrote nearly one thousand wishes over three days. People are invited to write their personal wishes for peace on labels then hang them in a specially selected indigenous tree. “I wrote my wishes for peace at the Serpentine Gallery in London a few years ago. It felt like a breeze of hope when I tied my label onto the tree already adorned with hundreds of other people’s wishes,” remembers Bradley.

Valley Voice

Additionally, each of the Young at Art Creativity Camp students will help build a quilt that will tell the story of “summer at the Depot” to the community and gallery visitors. Each camp will create an image that represents their particular course. The quilt will weave all the camps together, illustrate the variety of courses offered and create a sense of community between varied artistic interests. “Traditionally, quilt making is a communal effort and, being a strong part of American history, quilts have told stories for centuries,” said Bradley who will be in charge of weaving all the pieces of the quilt together. Bradley lived in Europe for the last 16 years, where there were opportunities to participate in interactive art on a fairly regular basis. She recalls her experiences: “In 2006, in London’s South Bank just outside of the Royal Festival Hall, there was an interactive installation called PLAY. orchestra. Fifty-six plastic cubes were wired up as individual instruments with lights and speakers creating a full size orchestra. When someone sat on a cube, it played that instrument! It was so wonderful to see total strangers laughing and “playing music” together. “Another great piece in London was done by one of my colleagues at University of the Arts. Her final project for her MA was the creation of an outdoor ‘hallway’ composed of dancers. The dancers formed two lines creating the walls of the hallway. As people walked through the hallway, the dancers would move to the motion of the non-dancer while staying in their places on the wall - so to speak. People became more playful as the dancers “read” movement as it happened. “Near where I lived in Southern France, I had a friend who lived in a small village. For many French people, art is an integral part of their lives. My friend’s house was across from a courtyard that wasn’t used much since it was away from the main square. He decided years ago to infuse some life into the space by inviting artists to paint a mural according to a theme that he chose. When he first started his mural project, the villagers just came to look at the mural but every year, they have participated with increasing creative interaction until it has become a yearly interactive art project. The year that I participated, the theme was Hollywood. I was one of three artists who painted the mural. One resident brought in a truckload of sand for “the beach” while another built palm trees. One evening, a ‘bonhomme du coin’ (an old guy from the village) hobbled his way slowly up the avenue leading to ‘Hollywood’. He painstakingly painted gold stars on the road to make it more authentic. For me, seeing non-artists of so many different ages and backgrounds engaging in the process of making and creating is truly rewarding. “Like the old farmer painting stars on the road, allowing people to participate gives them the courage to do so. The small village became a stronger community through an artistic collaboration. Interactive Art impacts the community because it creates community.” This month the Depot Art Center hopes Steamboat will become an even closer community as a result of creating together, sharing stories together and finding a common thread through art. Donations are welcome to help continue to spread art throughout our valley and beyond. Come to the Depot in June and July and be a part of art!

June 2017


Wild Edible Feast Yampatika’s 17th annual “Wild Edible Feast,” a nature to table fundraising event, will be held at Haymaker on June 8. Not to be missed, this is an evening of delectable small plates created by Haymaker’s talented chefs, Ariel Robey and Chris Wyant, which will be made up from a variety of Yampa Valley wild edibles. On the menu this year are black bear, elk, goose, duck eggs, and freshly harvested wild plants. Funds raised will stay in Routt County and go towards connecting people to nature by providing environmental education. In addition to a variety of culinary food stations, the event will feature educational activities and a silent auction including: an electric bike donated by Pedego Steamboat Springs, a wild game dinner at the Logan Lodge and Lounge, annual membership to the Old Town Hot Springs, snow cat trip on Buffalo Pass, cabin getaway at Grand Lake, airplane flight with instructor, and a Wild West balloon ride. Quality proteins have been contributed by Moonhill Dairy, Bruce and Kate Logan, Jerry Fox, Ciao Gelato, Gary Pon, Kris Brannan, and Elkhead Ranch. “One of the most rewarding parts of this event happens in the two days before the actual dinner,” said Karen Vail, Founder and Naturalist with Yampatika. “This is when volunteers join me in harvesting the wild edibles which are turned into a meal of nourishing treats. Previous years have included bracken fiddle heads, Yampa roots and leaves, dandelion leaves, wild rhubarb, and glacier lily pods. While some of that may not sound appealing to everyone, it’s amazing what the creativity of the Chefs can produce.” This is truly a unique event, noted Leslie Steen, a Yampatika Board member and Chair of the Wild Edible Feast Committee. “It’s gourmet, educational, purposeful, fun and rewarding. We have a tremendous group of volunteers that partner with the Yampatika staff to pull it all off. This year we are hoping to attract some of Steamboat’s young and professional crowd with discounted ticket prices for those involved in the Young Professionals Network. We are really appreciative of the generosity of our sponsors, Yampa Valley Bank (Platinum Sponsor) and Wild Plum (Bronze Sponsor), and we hope the people of Steamboat come and join us for a one-of-a-kind experience. We are so fortunate to have the support of Scott King and his culinary team.”

A Day for Writers


July 21-22

Registration is now open for the 36th annual writers conference hosted by Steamboat Arts Council and The Steamboat Writers Group. Beginners and professionals alike will benefit from the direct connection between writers and nationally recognized authors Laura DiSilverio and Laura Resau. Only a limited number of participants will be accepted and the conference fills quickly. The Fee of $75 covers four workshops as well as catered breakfast and luncheon. Optional Friday evening activities include dinner and Five Minutes of Fame during which twenty writers (voluteneer participants in the conference) will read from their writings. Speakers will discuss enriching characters and settings, how to develop a series, and suggestions for writing for young adults (these apply to adult audience material as well). Register now and enjoy a stimulating day of learning and sharing with novice and professional writers. Actual conference runs from 8:30 am to 4:30 pm, Saturday, July 22, 2017. All activities will be at the Arts Depot, 1001 13th Street. Registration material is available at the Depot or at

Laura DiSilverio

Retired Air Force intelligence officer, Laura DiSilverio is the national best-selling author of 17 mystery and suspense novels (including the Leftyand Colorado Book Award-finalist Swift Investigations series, the Readaholics Book Club series, and the Mall Cop series). A Past President of Sisters in Crime, she pens articles for Writer’s Digest.

Event Details: Laura Resau is the award-winning author of eight highly acclaimed novels for young people is loved by youth and adults alike. Cultural anthropologist, ESL teacher, and student, Resau has been included in the Américas Award and in spots on Oprah’s Kids’ Book Lists.

The “Wild Edible Feast” includes a cocktail hour (with a complimentary signature cocktail), silent auction, and of course, a wild and edible feast! The event will take place from 5:30 to 8:30 p.m., Thursday, June 8 at Haymaker Golf Course. Tickets are $100 per person or $75 for members of the Young Professionals Network. Proceeds support environmental education in Routt County. Space is limited. Reservations required. Go to events or call (970) 871-9151.

Laura Resau

It pleases me that people can be interactive.—Tracey Emin


June 2017

Valley Voice

Routt County Disasters

Go Ahead, Dare Me By Lyn Wheaton

We stood on the rock ledges looking down at the churning water rushing through the narrow section of river known as The Chutes. Encased between steep rock walls, the furious boil slapped against the embankments and exploded into a rage of chaotic gyrating waves. The water was flowing big and fast because of the time of year. Signs on the canyon wall across the way caught my eye. I squinted to read them. Did they really say what I was seeing, or did my mind -warped from the portabellas we ate while setting up camp – misinterpret them? Maybe they weren’t there at all. The messages didn’t seem like anything the government would have posted. Through fits of uncontrollable laughter I nudged Louise. “Louise, look at those signs! Do they really say that?” I asked, repeating the warnings: “No Tubing, No Swimming. People Have Died Here, We mean it!” She laughed and I didn’t know what that meant, so I asked Honey. That‘s what we called Louise’s boyfriend. He was everybody’s honey because he was just so mellow. “Hey Honey can you see those signs over there?” Honey, already working on his second case of beer that day, said in his low calm voice, “Nope. Can’t read em’.” Even though it was almost dark I put my prescription sunglasses on and tried to get a better look, but they were melting and shit, so I gave up. What the hell, they meant nothing to us anyway. We were in college. We weren’t going to die anytime soon. It sounded like a dare – People Have Died Here. “Looks Rad!” Louise yelled. We had to scream to be heard over the roar of the water. It was a little daunting, enough to give us a scare, but not enough to make us reconsider. “Fear and loathing.” I joked. This was our favorite saying. There was rarely anything that would make us re-think our un-thought-out impulsive actions. Fear was a word our minds conflated with challenge. The next morning we woke to the smell of coffee and the sound of eggs and bacon sizzling on the campfire. Honey was like my mother in this way. It didn’t matter how much he drank the day before, he was always the first one up

and buzzing around, as if he hadn’t put his liver through a marathon the night before. After breakfast, we fired up a bowl and broke camp. Honey cracked his first beer of the day while we discussed our tubing “strategy.” Louise and I decided we better take the tubes down on a trial run to make sure Honey, who couldn’t swim at all, would survive it. Louise was a strong swimmer. She had been a lifeguard and on swim team in high school. Her Nordic frame made her a natural. I grew up at the beach and was a good swimmer, but nothing like her. We always assumed in water situations, especially this one, that Louise would save us should the need arise. I never bothered to mention my short stint on the swim team because I had no illusions that I’d be able to save anyone. I hit the convulsing white water and held my breath. The narrowness of the canyon forced agitated wave trains to roll forward and crash backwards. Whirlpools, like tornados made of water, formed within the confused currents. Thrashing whitecaps spit foam every which way. I bobbed in the tube from one side to the next at the mercy of the river. The maelstrom made it impossible to steer. All you could do was relax into the rhythm that the river decided was yours and ride it through. I heard Louise’s voice echo off the rock and looked upstream. The torrential current had pushed her far to the left and caused her to bank the wall and capsize. Obstacle notwithstanding, she still made it to the takeout before me. Aside from that, the test run was a success. We hooted and hollered and couldn’t wait to do it again. We debated whether it was safe for Honey to go down and decided that although a bit hairy, he’d make it if he went in a tube. I volunteered to use the Surf Rider mat that we had grabbed in haste on our way out of Denver, because we couldn’t score a third tube. Even though the Surf Rider Mat was under inflated, making me question whether it had a leak or not, and the sticker on it clearly read: Not a Flotation Device, all I really needed was a little support, just in case. It was really a placebo where floatation was concerned. The beginning of the experience was pretty mellow and despite half of the deflated mat being underwater and my legs hanging down off the back, it was going great. I was not worried at all. Then it happened. It all happened so fast. Again, I heard voices echoing off the canyon walls. I looked over and saw Honey being tossed around in the whitewater. He hit the wall and flipped, just like Louise had, and was ejected from his tube. Louise was fighting the water with all she had, battling to swim upstream to get to him. In the midst of all the commotion the river grabbed my legs and yanked me into a section of otherwise serene looking water. I was trapped in the shadow of a gigantic rock wall -- that rose straight up toward the sky like an upside down dome – just outside of my arm’s reach. I had avoided the left side of the run on purpose because of what had happened to Louise and now Honey. The current ensnared me beneath the daunting cliff wall and the whirlpool held my legs in its grip. The powerful hydraulic tugged at the Surf Rider mat and threated to devour my only source of hope. I had a moment. This was not the first time in my life that I would come close to

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

death. I felt at peace. What else was I going to do? I didn’t know that many prayers. Maybe people had died here. I came to terms with the possibility. I clung to my placebo and struggled to see what was happening with Honey and Louise. But the urgency of my own plight consumed me. Alone in this pool of innocuouslooking deep, dark, glassy water one might mistake for an eddy, all I could do was look at the swirling Alka-Seltzer like stew, flowing just outside of the rock cliff that would soon mark my watery grave, and wish I could get to it. This predicament, much like life, was an extreme situation wherein if you’re lucky enough to have allies, when it comes down to it, nobody can really save you but yourself. I heard voices yelling from above. A crowd of rubberneckers had gathered on the ledge high above. “PUSH OFF THE WALL!” They yelled down to me. “I CAN’T REACH IT! I yelled back, hoping someone would try to save me but I knew there was nothing anyone could do. Nobody could reach me from the heights above and there were no phones nearby. The gawkers, helpless, could only stand there, yell an occasional suggestion that I couldn’t hear over the crashing water, and wait for me to die. It was probably the highlight of their weekend. I treaded water with my arms and desperately fought the constant downward pull of suction on my legs. I struggled to get close enough to the wall to push off. I knew I would need to push hard to both dislodge my legs and the bottom of the mat -- that had now become an instrument of my death rather than the floatation device I wanted it to be, despite its warning that it wasn’t. I fought the whirlpool grabbing at the Surf Rider mat and threating to suck me into the dark depths of the river while the crowd overhead looked down with pity. I was ready to surrender. It was useless. I couldn’t reach the wall. I had tried for what felt like hours. All of a sudden the current changed drastically and in an act no less random or indiscriminate than the one that threatened to swallow me into the abyss moments ago, the river spit me out. Without personal retribution or absolution attached, and with no more significance than a leaf, a twig, or any other river debris, I had been released from its force. I held on to the Surf Rider with a death grip. Sometimes all you need is that placebo. The abrupt change in current had dislodged me with such force I was back in the whitewater and being pushed downstream, before I knew what was happening. The shallow lazy part of the river welcomed me with its breadth and slow pace. Louise and Honey greeted me with jokes about my brush with death and tales of the miraculous rescue of Honey. Louise summed it all up in the usual manner. “Fear and loathing on the river.” she said. Wobbly from the ordeal, with unsteady legs, I climbed out of the river. A rush of relief extinguished the adrenaline that kept me alive. I eked out a feeble response to Lou. “Yup. Fear and loathing on the river” and added “mega”… before I passed out on the shoreline.

Valley Voice

June 2017

Tales from the Front Desk


Hayden Heritage Center Museum

Faulty Toilet

3rd Annual Mt. Harris Day

June 10, 2017

at the Mt. Harris Memorial on Hwy 40 (5 miles east of Hayden)

By Aimee Kimmey

Free Event!

The story you are about to read is true... more or less. 3:42 pm. Room 201. “We need a new toilet!” The woman from 201 shrieks through the phone.

Learn about the Towns that no longer exist along Hwy 40! 9:30-10:15 volunteer cleanup of site 10:30- noon Brunch provided by Wild Goose Coffee and speaker Paul Bonnifield Bring your own chair!

The front desk is called upon to do many things; TV repair, animal control, laundry, vacation planning, and yes, occasionally pluming.

Visit the Museum! Open most Tues-Sun 11-5 pm Free admission!

“Okay Ma’am, what’s the trouble?” The front desk clerk mentally sighs as she tries to ignore the woman’s acid tone.

20 minutes west of Steamboat Springs in Hayden 276-4380

“My twelve year old tried to use it, now it’s clogged. You gave us a faulty toilet!” Her snarl slices through the clerk’s pleasant demeanor. Taking a deep breath, the clerk replies, “Okay. I’ll bring you a plunger.” “Just fix it!” The woman on the other end slams the phone so hard the clerk has to jerk her ear away. Plunger in hand, the clerk heads to room 201. The door flies open half way through the first knock. The hideous scowl etched in the woman’s pancake make-up makes the clerk step back. Her gaudy red fake nails look ideal for clawing eyes out. The word “Flawless” is stretched to capacity on her elastic waste band before disappearing under the her elephantine stomach. What looks like her half-formed clone hovers behind her. It’s difficult to guess the child’s sex; either way it could benefit from a hefty bra. The kid gnaws on a full sized turkey leg--where the hell did they even find that thing? “Where’s my new toilet?” The woman demands. “Um...” The clerk isn’t sure if this creature is serious, “... Sounds like it’s just clogged. Here’s the plunger.” She hands the woman the tool. The woman falls back in horror, “That toilet is clearly broken! My little precious could never clog a toilet! She’s only twelve!”

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

The pint sized beast rips a hunk of meat off the turkey leg and nearly swallows it whole. Sure, that’s probably something that couldn’t clog a toilet. The clerk continues to hold the plunger handle out for the woman, “Regardless, if it’s clogged, here’s the plunger.” “I’m not touching that thing!” The woman shrieks. “My daughter could NOT have clogged that toilet!” “It doesn’t matter who did it, if you want it unclogged-here’s the plunger!” The clerk sets the plunger at the woman’s feet. “You gave us a faulty toilet! I demand that YOU fix it or give us a new one!” The woman’s beefy jowls quiver. The last threads of the clerk’s patience fail her. “I can’t install a new toilet! And I am sure as hell NOT going to plunge your toilet!” “How dare you--!” The woman’s mouth drops open. The clerk opens her mouth, then closes it again. Repressing visions of homicide, she quickly turns away before her fingers find the woman’s beefy throat. Yeah, it’s the toilet that’s faulty!

Wolf Mountain Pizza welcomes the Triple Crown Baseball Tournament to the Yampa Valley. Our two dining rooms can accommodate your group and our new booths in our secondary dining room will add extra comfort to your visit.

Please come see us at and enjoy our delicious pizza and burgers! 107 W Jefferson Ave Hayden Colorado 81639 970-276-1337

Get all your summer sports swag!

-Kinky Friedman

“She’s working Tomorrow!”

The Original Local’s Liquor Store On the corner of 40 and Hilltop Pkwy

10 to 10 Mon. – Thurs. 10 to Midnight Fri. & Sat. 11:30 to 7:30 Sundays

Steamboat Specialties

(970) 879.6587 | | 35 11th St. #120 | @SteamboatSpecialties

You drown not by falling into a river, but by staying submerged in it.—Paulo Coelho


June 2017

Valley Voice

The Paw Print

Wolves In Love By Debora Black

879.5929 905 Weiss Drive - across HWY 40 from the Holiday Inn


Support your local Bee keepers - buy local honey!

Your prescription for your allergies, health and life. Available at:

817 Lincoln Ave.

Summer Check List for Your Dog Heartworm preventative Flea & Tick preventative Microchip for travel Travel anxiety supplement Travel anti-nausea medication 4th of July anxiety supplement Composure Pro is a supplement that supports calm behavior and brain health. Buy one bag and get 1/2 off of the 2nd bag. Discount is available during the month of June only.

Happy Pets! Happy People! 102 Anglers Drive


fierce, teeth-filled licks to my mouth from Tycho—and then the two of them would leap away and claim the lead over our excursion. In those slow days, we roamed aimlessly across the vast, blue-sky mornings, picking our way through the red dirt and the cactus and the pinon pine. The dogs liked to move from one shady patch of terrain to the next. They would pause now and then to pull a quill or a thorn from their paw. They mercilessly chased-off grounded birds and ate whatever morsel the bird had been after. I admired their capabilities. We broke new trails each morning, forging our rough and winding passage through all directions and ups and downs, but with the dogs pushing ahead, we always ended up near the house that I had discovered was theirs, and I would deposit them in their yard.

When I packed a few things into a U-Haul trailer and headed for 70 West, I didn’t know I was leaving Central Ohio and my teaching work in the city, my circle of friends, my house, or my marriage in any permanent way. I only knew that I wanted to get outside of it all. So I went to the Colorado mountains and settled in my condo to finish my graduate work in writing. Most days I put my notebook, food, and other supplies into my backpack and hiked into the forest. The forest was a place where anything could happen. Once, I saw a sunset so magnificent it shattered me. Once, a mother bear and her two cubs crossed a meadow above me. They seemed like a miracle. And once, I was changed forever. I was on a trip, working on some writing. Hiking, and inside that quiet, I heard the strides of an animal running up behind me. I turned, fearing the worst. In an instant, the dog was on me. A blaze of white, a delighted, dusty volatility, wriggling and squirming against my bare legs while her heavy tail swirled and swung. Her coat was deep. Supremely thick around her neck. This accentuated her chest, which was full and strong. She was a striking animal. I ran my hand over her side, feeling her lean muscles, but she dropped her pointed ears and ducked away when I reached to pet her head. Submission and boundaries all at once. She liked me though, and I fell in love with her as she circled around me and allowed my hands to pass over her sides. Then her huge mate stepped from the brush. His imposing chest lifted high. The same pointed ears. His amber eyes, eerie and looking directly into mine. How he came toward me. The slow elongating of his back, his head reaching forward. His course tail resolute. The white dog skipped back and forth between us, dropping her ears and head to him, swishing her tail. I knew not to touch her, or to move at all. I could only coo my offering of friendship. How, in that last instant, he accepted and leaned heavily into my thigh, the weight of him unbalancing me. How his unnerving eyes had never left mine. Strangely, our meeting had settled something, and the dogs—Io and Tycho, I would later learn—continued to appear from nowhere during my hikes. We would fall together in a happy greeting—all twirls from Io, and

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

Their yard bore no difference from the land around it. It was dirt and spiny grasses and volcanic rock. There were numerous deer remains scattered about. An intact spine with fleshy vestiges. An eyeless fragment of greying skull. An array of hide covered limbs. All gruesome relics that the dogs had rooted up. My being present, Io would cavort about with an ample piece of one poor creature clamped between her jaws. The two long parts of the leg dangled unmanageably from the joint, and the sad hoof dragged through the dirt while Io carried on with her performance. She always got a rise out of Tycho and me, and it was evident this pleased her. Trespassing, half afraid of being shot, I was concerned for the dogs, so I looked around. I found feed buckets containing a quantity of food and water. And Io showed me to a place that the dogs used, which was located behind a tangle of bushes growing against the house. The space was cave-like, large enough for both of the dogs to stretch out. It was hidden and shady and it blocked the wind. It made a good shelter. But no one ever seemed to be home in that remote house, and the dogs marauded freely during the days and nights. It seemed to be the way of West Texas. Everything was parched and hot and a little bit harsh. I was persistent in my watch, and finally met the woman who owned the property. She was tall and tough and suited for that wild landscape. But Shirley had troubles, and in a few months, she let me have the dogs. I drove back down from Colorado to get them. They were thrilled to see me and crashed and tumbled over one another, ravenous with enthusiasm, as they jumped into the car. “Careful with ’em,” she said. “They know who they are.”

Driving away, I couldn’t think too much about what was ahead. I admit I felt kind of cruel. And as I picked our way down the ruts and slippery turns in the crumbly mountain road, I hoped Shirley wasn’t too broken-hearted. “Well if you ever need to find a home for them,” I’d told her about the dogs, “I’ll take good care of them.” I guess that’s just the way it had sorted out. More than anything, I hoped that the dogs wouldn’t have a change of heart. I figured if that happened, I’d have to turn around. But watching the dogs hanging out the windows, their bright eyes and lolling tongues as they thrust their faces into the wind, I felt the expectant joy that was inside that car, and all the dirty clouds of dust we kicked up just rolled on by.

Valley Voice

June 2017


Don’t Forget Dad on Father’s Day!

Looking for Dog-Walking and Cat-Loving Volunteers Qualifying financial assistance program for spay/ neuter available for your pets!

We are Looking for Dog-Walking and Cat-Loving Volunteers


Open Regular Hours Located downstairs During Mud Season at 7th & Lincoln


Serving hot and cold drinks, fresh baked goods, smoothies and alcohol.

Qualifying financial assistance program for spay/neuter available for your pets! 970-879-RCHS

• Over 200 beers • Over 200 liquors • over 700 wines On sale every day!

Come in and SAVE!

Unbelievable Selection. Unbelievable Specials!

Open: Mon - Sat: 9am -11pm Sunday: 10:30am -7pm

Located next to City Market in Central Park Plaza, Steamboat Springs.

Flat Rate Pricing

For special offers, like us on Facebook!

It Pays to Switch to Twin Enviro!

Have You Checked Your Trash Bill Recently? Switch now before you get locked into another quarterly service commitment.

Twin Costs Less and Does More for You and the Environment

No Hidden Fees FREE Wheel Carts

Lowest Price

Best Customer Service

Locally Owned Hauler

Locals Supporting Locals

Phone: (970) 879-6985 E-mail:

If you live among wolves, you have to act like a wolf.—Nikita Khrushchev


June A 2017










Valley JVoice

Buff Pass Fish Creek Res. Fish Creek Falls

Map Disclaimer

© 2017 Valley Voice, LLC. All rights reserved. NOT TO SCALE! No portion of this publication may be reproduced in any manner without the written permission of the artist. The publisher does not guarantee the accuracy of this map.

Map under construction

Dry Lake

Spring Creek Fish Creek Falls Rd.

Burgess Creek

Rollingstone Golf Club

Valley Voice, LLC 1125 Lincoln Ave 2C Steamboat Springs, CO 80487

Steamboat Blvd.

Fish Creek

Amethyst Drive


Tamarack Drive Amethyst Drive

Hill Top Parkway


RCR 36

Anglers Drive


Ski Time Square

E. Maple Street


Memorial Park Fish Creek Falls Rd.

Strawberry Hot Springs Missouri Ave.

Maple Street


Old Town Hot Springs Lincoln Avenue


et l Stre Laure

Emerald Park Botanic Gardens




Ice Rink

Yam pa Av e

Oa kS t.

Pin eS t.

The Boulevard

Merrit Street

Pahwintah St.


4 Asp en St.


Core Trail Weiss Park



Crawford Ave.


CMC (College)


Lin col nA ven ue

Steamboat Cemetery

Emerald Mountain


12 12


The Howler



Yam pa Riv er


Howelsen Hill BMX Track

Ski Jumps

13 Blackmere Drive

Fart Park Depot Art Center

For those A who live hereBand for those who C wish they did. D







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S June 2017

Mt. Werner

15 T

Rabbit Ears Pass Dumont Lake




Village Drive

Knowls Mt. Werner Circle Eagle Ridge Dr.

e Pin

Tennis Bubble Casey’s Pond

Meadows Parking

Walton Creek

Mt. Werner Road

Central Park Drive

Whistler Road


Pine Grove Road


oad ve R o r G

131 Haymaker Golf Core Trail

Yampa River

RCR 22

Stagecoach Res.

Fetcher Park

RCR 14

RCR 14f RCR 14


FREE 2-, 3- and 8-hour parking and five FREE public lots available across town. Haymaker Golf Course Driving Range . Pro Shop . Haymaker Patio Grill . Rental Clubs Public 18-hole links course . 970-870-1846 . Howelsen Ice Arena Daily Ice Skating . Ice Bumper Cars . Skate Rentals & Lessons Indoor Facility/Heated Lobby . 970-871-7033 . Howelsen Hill Ski Area Historic ski area with summer ski jumping and miles of hiking and biking trails 845 Howelsen Parkway . 970-879-8499 . Howler Alpine Slide Slide your way to exhilarating alpine family fun 970-819-8010 . ProRodeo Where cowboys and cowgirls come to play every Friday and Saturday evening 970-879-1818 . . Live Music @ 6pm . Rodeo @ 7:30pm Steamboat Tennis Center 6 Indoor Courts . 10 Outdoor Courts . Open 7 Days A Week 2500 Pine Grove Rd . 970-879-8400 . Parks & Community Services Youth/Teens/Seniors Programs, Adult & Youth Sports Leagues 245 Howelsen Parkway . 970-879-4300 . Yampa River Botanic Park Colorado Botanic Jewel . Free Admission . Dawn to Dusk . April - October 31 1000 Pamela Lane . 970-846-5172 .

RCR 35

Steamboat Springs Transit Ride the FREE bus - downtown, to the mountain & in between RCR 45 970-879-3717 . for times, stops and app

RCR 41 RCR 43












June 2017

Valley Voice

More than 120 Vendors Music from 11-1

Saturdays from June 10 - September 16 9:00 AM to 2:00 pm. 7th and Yampa Streets Come down to Farmers Market and vegetate with the rest of us. Have some lunch, listen to music, talk to your neighbors and have a great time. Then stick around to explore the rest of downtown.

Questions? 970-846-1800 or

Photo by Christina Uhl

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

Valley Voice

June 2017


Fishing from the ‘Boat

Dry-Fly vs. Nymph-Fly Fishing By Peter Parsons

Cahill Fly

In Norman Maclean’s book, A River Runs Through It and Other Stories, the following quote is made, “In our family, there was no clear line between religion and fly fishing. We lived at the junction of great trout rivers in western Montana, and our father was a Presbyterian minister and a fly fisherman who tied his own flies and taught others. He told us about Christ’s disciples being fishermen, and we were left to assume, as my brother and I did, that all firstclass fishermen on the Sea of Galilee were fly fishermen and that John, the favorite, was a dry-fly fisherman.” Steamboat Springs is a town that has one of the great western trout rivers in the United States running through it. The Yampa River is my hometown river and it will soon start to fish very well. With the exception of a few

Montana Stone

sections of river directly below Stagecoach Reservoir (the Tailwater), the Yampa River is what I call a PBJ stream (Peanut Butter and Jelly). This means that the trout in the Yampa River are not all that picky about what they eat or when they eat. If it looks like food - and more importantly behaves like food – the chances of catching a trout are pretty good. Getting one’s fly to behave like food is no easy challenge. This is some of the Zen associated with fly fishing. Amongst fly fishers, there is a debate whether it is easier to fish a nymph fly or a dry fly. I do not really care – I am more interested in catching fish on a fly than debating the various methods on how to best catch that fish. Since dry flies float on the surface, you see the fish actually take the fly. That is a very exciting moment and a lot of fun.

The reality is that trout eat virtually all the time. They likely spend 90% of their time feeding below the surface. This is because that is where the bugs are most of the time. From my perspective, it’s much more difficult to be an effective nymph-fly fisher than a dry-fly fisher. Not only does one need to be aware of how the fly line is behaving on the surface, one must also have a sixth sense about how the nymph is behaving subsurface and out of sight. If you want to reliably catch fish on the Yampa River, be an adequate dry-fly fisher and a very proficient nymph-fly fisher. Or, do both.

Rock Creek’s Stagecoach stop is located off of Highway 134, north of Toponas, near Gore Pass. Restored by Historic Routt County in 2000, the building offers a vivid link to the past

There’s a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.—Steven Wright


June 2017

Valley Voice

Calendar of Events To submit your events or calendar information e-mail: Events may be edited for length or content. Calendar entries must be received by the 15th of each month. THURSDAY JUNE 1


Steamboat Springs Writers Group Noon @ Community Center FREE. Meets every Thursday in June

Live Band Karaoke 10PM @ Schmiggity’s FREE. www.schmiggitys. com Every Monday in June

Community Blood Drive & “Win a Hog” promotion 12:30PM @ Yampa Valley Medical Center code 0234 or 800-365-0006 X2

Bud Werner Memorial Library Presents “Blood Lions” 7PM @ Library Hall FREE.

State of the Yampa: River Fest Kick-off 6PM @ The Chief $10 donation. FRIDAY JUNE 2 Awaken with Chopra Center Yoga 9:30AM @ Yoga Center of Steamboat 970-846-5608 Every Friday in June Steamboat Theatrical Society Noon @ Arts Depot FREE. Contact sstew@ for info. Every Friday in June First Friday Art Walk 5PM @ Downtown Steamboat. Self-guided tour of local art galleries, Museums and alternative venues. FREE. Art Walk Reception “Be a Part of Art” 5PM @ Art Depot FREE. Book Signing – Bob Enever “Steamboat’s Osprey Family” 6PM @ Off the Beaten Path FREE. Super Fun Steamboat Show 7:30PM @ The Chief FREE. SUNDAY JUNE 4


Improv Workshop 7PM @ The Chief $10 donation. Two-step Tuesday 7PM @ Schmiggity’s Country dancing. FREE. Every Tuesday in June




Book Signing – Finn Murphy “The Long Haul” 7PM @ Off the Beaten Path FREE.

Pioneer Days at the Historic Mesa Schoolhouse 1PM @ Mesa Schoolhouse FREE. www.treadofpioneers. org

Music on the Green 12:15PM @ Yampa River Botanic Park. FREE. www.



Yoga in the Botanic Park – 9AM @ $10 donation. Call/ text 970-846-5608 Every Saturday and Thursday in June

YVSC Electric Vehicle Ride-N-Drive 11AM @ 10th & Lincoln FREE.

Pioneer Picnic Noon @ Steamboat Mountain School A Shadow of Jaguar 10PM @ Schmiggity’s FREE. www.schmiggitys. com SUNDAY JUNE 11 Dopapod 10PM @ Schmiggity’s FREE. www.schmiggitys. com



Town Challenge Mountain Bike Series Marabou XC 5:30PM @ Marabou Ranch

Bud Werner Memorial Library Presents “Health Perspectives: Living with Dementia” 7PM @ Library Hall FREE.

Bud Werner Memorial Library Presents “Apprentice” 7PM @ Chief Theater Foreign Film Series FREE. Karaoke Night 9PM @ Schmiggity’s FREE. www.schmiggitys. com Every Wednesday in June THURSDAY JUNE 8 Behind the Scenes Collection Tour 4PM @ Tread of Pioneers Museum also June 30th at 1:30 Bud Werner Memorial Library Presents “The Music of Strangers” 7PM @ Library Hall FREE.

SugarLeaf 10PM @ Schmiggity’s FREE. www.schmiggitys. com

Bud Werner Memorial Library Presents “Pika and Habitat Fluctuations Across the West” 7PM @ Library Hall FREE.

MANGELSEN-IMAGES OF NATURE 730 Lincoln Ave 970.871.1822



Autograph w/ Enough About You 9PM @ Schmiggity’s FREE. www.schmiggitys. com

Partners Amazing Race 9AM @ Slopeside Grill www.amazingracesteamboat. org


MONDAY JUNE 19 Young Bloods Collective Cocktails & CRIT(ique) with Sista Luna 6:30PM @ Pine Moon Gallery FREE. Bud Werner Memorial Library Presents “The Pursuit of Hippo-ness” 7PM @ Library Hall FREE.

Yoga in Strings Park 9AM @ Strings Music Pavilion Park Donations accepted. www. WEDNESDAY JUNE 28 Open House at the Historic Mesa Schoolhouse 3PM @ Mesa Schoolhouse FREE. www.treadofpioneers. org

Bud Werner Memorial Library Presents “I Am Not Your Negro” 7PM @ Library Hall FREE.

Bud Werner Memorial Library Presents “The War Show” 7PM @ Library Hall FREE.

Bud Werner Memorial Library Presents “The Fire Next Time” book club discussion 5:30PM @ Library Conference Room FREE.



Lulie Crawford’s Wildflowers and Watercolors for Kids 1PM @ Yampa River Botanic Park

Music on the Green 12:15PM @ Yampa River Botanic Park FREE.


Town Challenge Mountain Bike Series Emerald Envy XC 5:30PM @ Emerald Mountain


Open Mic w/Tyler Crane 10PM @ Schmiggity’s FREE. www.schmiggitys. com

Latin Dance Night 7PM @ Schmiggity’s FREE. www.schmiggitys. com

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

ART GALLERIES AND MUSEUMS GALLERY 89 1009 Lincoln Ave 970.439.8196


Bud Werner Memorial Library Presents “Tickling Giants” 7PM @ Library Hall FREE.

June 2, 2017 5 pm - 8 pm

French Club 5PM @ Off the Beaten Path FREE.

Book Signing – “Wounded Healers” 6PM @ Off the Beaten Path FREE.


First Friday Artwalk

Poetry Slam 7PM @ Off the Beaten Path FREE.

Bud Werner Memorial Library Presents “View from the Pit” with Mark Gould 7PM @ Library Hall FREE. FRIDAY JUNE 30 World’s Finest 10PM @ Schmiggity’s FREE. www.schmiggitys. com

PINE MOON FINE ART 117 9th St 970.879.2787

STEAMBOAT SPRINGS CENTER FOR VISUAL ARTS 837 Lincoln Ave 970.846.8119 W GALLERY 115 9th Street, Lincoln Ave., 846-1783 ALTERNATIVE VENUES FHYSICAL ELEMENTS PERSONAL TRAINING STUDIO 9th and Oak 970.846.0828 HARWIGS/LAPOGEE 911 Lincoln Ave 970.879.1919 HOLY NAME CATHOLIC CHURCH 524 Oak St 970.879.0671 SKITOWN COMPUTING 1104 Lincoln Ave 970.870.7984 STEAMBOAT SMOKEHOUSE 912 Lincoln Ave 941.321.2809 camera in hand. URBANE 703 Lincoln Ave 970.879.9169

Valley Voice

June 2017

Smoke Signals


News from the Chief of the Chief

Last minute changes can and do occur - Mother Nature, illness, tour malfunction, whatever - the accuracy of this calendar is not guaranteed! 8th Street Steakhouse 4:30 - 6:00 p.m. & 9:00 p.m. Aurum Food & Wine 4:30 - 6:00 p.m. daily Azteca Taqueria 4:00 - 5:00 p.m. & 8:00 - 9:00 p.m. daily

McKnight’s Irish Pub 3:00 - 6:00 p.m. & 9:30 - 11:00 p.m. daily

The BARley 4:00 - 6:00 p.m. daily

The Pit on 5th 2:00 - 6:00 p.m.

Big House Burgers 4:20 - 6 p.m., Mon-Sat. & 2 - 6 Sunday

Rex’s American Grill & Bar 4:20 - 6:00 daily

Salt and Lime 3:30 p.m.- 5:30 p.m. & 10:00 p.m.- 11:00 p.m.

Circle R Bar 4 - 6 p.m. Thurs., Fri.,Sat.

Sake 2 U 3:30 - 5:30 p.m.

Colorado High 5 3:00 - 6:00 p.m. daily

Sambi Canton 5:00 - 6:00 pm Monday - Saturday

Double ZZ BBQ 2:30 - 6:00 p.m. daily Dude & Dan’s Bar and Grill 3:00 - 6:00 p.m. daily Late Night Happy Hour: 10:00 - 12:00 p.m. daily E3 Ranch & Chophouse Restaurant 4:00 - 6:00 p.m. daily Harwigs & L’Apogee: 5:00 - 6:30 p.m. daily Laundry 4:30 - 6p.m. Tues.-Sat. Low Country 4:30 - 6 p.m. daily Mahogany Ridge 4:00 - 5:30 p.m. Late night happy hour: 9:00 to 10:00 p.m. daily Mambo Italiano 4:30 to 5:30 p.m. daily Mazzola’s Majestic Italian Diner 5:00 to 6:00 p.m. daily

This Spring “We’re Not Clowns” turned 20! Still CRAZY after all these years! For those of you who are new to town, myself, Kelly Anzalone and Andy Pratt have been performing together as “We’re Not Clowns” for 20 years now. We started out as friends - and housemates - and we knew how to juggle. So that is what we did when we were hanging out. Parties were fun because we were the guys that had juggling torches and glow in the dark things to juggle. People would invariably ask us if we were clowns as well. Our reply was always….NO! We’re NOT Clowns. The name stuck, and here we are 20 years later still calling ourselves “We’re Not Clowns”.

The Rusted Porch 2:00 p.m.- 6:00p.m. daily

Carl’s Tavern 4:00 - 6:00 p.m. daily

Cuginos Italian Restaurant and Pizzeria 3:00 - 6:00 p.m. & 9:00 - 11:00 p.m. daily

Hello all and thank you for reading the 45th installment of Smoke Signals: News from The Chief of the Chief.

Old Town Pub 3:00 to 6:00 p.m. daily O’Neil’s Tavern and Grill 4:00 p.m. - 6:00 p.m. & 10:00 p.m. - 12:00 p.m. daily

Cantina Mexican Restaurant 4:00 - 6:00 p.m. daily

By Scott Parker

Off the Beaten Path After 4:00 p.m. daily

Back Door Grill 4:00 - 7:00 p.m. daily & All day on Sundays


We have had some memorable times over the years… almost too many to count! Here are a few in no particular order. 1. Winning a Silver Medal in Montreal, Canada at the 2000 International Jugglers Association convention and competition.

Schmiggitys 7:00 - 9:00 p.m. daily Scratch 4:00 - 6:00 p.m. daily

2. Performing at the 7th Street Playhouse pretty consistently from 1999-2003. “The Big Show”, “The We’re Not Clowns and Professor Pratt Physics of Juggling World Tour 2000”, “Episode III”, “A Juggler’s Dream”, to name a few.

Slopeside Grill 10:00 p.m.-12:00 a.m. The V 4:00 - 6:00 p.m. & 10:00p.m. - 12:00 a.m.

3. Travelling to Europe in 2001 and performing in Switzerland, The Netherlands, France, Belgium and Sweden.

Steamboat Smokehouse 3:00 to 6:00 p.m. & 9:30 to 11:30 p.m. daily:

4. Performing 10 different times for Strings Music Festival (formerly Strings in the Mountains)

Sunpies Cajun Bistro 3:00 to 6:00 p.m. daily

5. Kelly’s head on fire (we no longer spit fire because of this)

Table 79 Foodbar 5:00 - 6:00 & 9:00 - 11:00 daily

6. Throwing torches around at the Chute Bump Off!

The Tap House Sports Grill 3:00 - 6:00 p.m. weekdays

Thank you Steamboat Springs for being so very supportive of us over the past 20 years! And if you are interested in learning to juggle - email me!

Truffle Pig 2:00 - 5:00 p.m. daily Vaqueros Mexican Restaurant & Taqueria 2:00 - 6:00 p.m. daily

Please follow us on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram or go to our website and sign up for our weekly email blast! Thank you for reading and see you at the Chief! Cheers, Scott 813 Lincoln Avenue 970-871-4791

June 7

Free Foreign Film 7:00 pm FREE

June 9

Jazz Night with

Kenyon7:00Brenner pm Tickets: $15.

June 24

Western Music Association Showcase 7:00 pm Tickets: $15.

June 25

Reckless Kelly 7:00 pm

Tickets: $20.

June 30

Jay Roemer Band

with special guests Ryan Fleming and Bella Hudson Show @ 7:00pm

Tickets: $10. Juggling is sometimes called the art of controlling patterns, controlling patterns in time and space.—Ronald Graham


June 2017

Valley Voice

The Wandering Rose

Mighty Dollar Audrey Rose sat at the bar of Table 79. The diners had all left, save for one or two tables deep into their wine. The chef brought out warm, fresh baked sugar cookies which were the perfect compliment to the poutine she had just finished. She bought the bartender and chef a shot as she tore apart tiny pieces of the cookie so she could savor it longer. Who said money was the root of all evil? Money could afford fine wines and poutine and cars that could take you anywhere. Audrey Rose was feeling particularly pleased with herself because she had just finished helping a friend landscape a few properties around town. Nothing made her happier than digging up the earth, careful to dig around any slithering and crawling friends that might be under the soil, and planting a seed or a shrub or a flower. She was bringing life into the world. Her work created a network of roots that worked their way through the soil to create a stable home for grass, for columbines and aspens. The flowers brought color to the world and attracted the bees.

The plants and trees provided shade for birds and critters. They prevented erosion and gave life back to the people. This was an honest person’s work and Audrey Rose worked hard. Her body had not an ounce of fat on it after lifting, digging and planting. The sun warmed her skin as she worked and when it rained, the rain washed the sweat from her brow. And at the end of the day, as if what she had been given the privilege to do wasn’t enough, she got paid. She had taken the job because her friend Greg had bet her she wouldn’t survive working a full time job. He joked that she wouldn’t be able to conform to a schedule without the freedom to go wherever she pleased whenever she pleased. But Audrey Rose found the hard work and the structure satisfying. Each day she worked landscaping she woke up with a direct purpose. She was going to bring beauty and life to the world. She got excited to dress in shorts – the first time she had worn anything other than her sparkly skirt since she could remember - and a tank top. She refused to wear a bra, even though her boss thought maybe she should, but he wasn’t really convincing in his argument, so Audrey Rose let the wind tickle her nipples through her tank top. When she worked, she got lost in her work. She didn’t think about what she might be missing out on, she focused only on what was in front of her, how much she could get done each day. At night her back sometimes ached a little, but all in all, the joy she got from talking with and singing to plants all day more than made up for any aches and pains she might feel.

Oak Creek News

LED Bulb Rebates Suzie Romig

YVSC Energy Outreach Coordinator, direct 970-367-1950 LED bulb rebates available for Oak Creek Electric customers Oak Creek Electric customers are eligible for rebates to cover the purchase of up to 10 energy saving LED bulbs up to $100. Funding for the rebate program is made possible by Routt County with assistance from nonprofit Yampa Valley Sustainability Council. Rebates are available first come, first served as funding lasts through early summer. Rebate forms can be found at Oak Creek Town Hall, Bonfiglio Drug in Oak Creek and Flat Tops Ranch Supply in Phippsburg. Bulb receipts and rebate forms should be submitted to Oak Creek Town Hall or YVSC. For questions, pick up a rebate form or contact Wild moose in Rabbit Ears Village Photo by Eric Kemper

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

What was most surprising to her was how she experienced the world she had always taken for granted. She could afford to eat wherever she wanted and buy clothes if she wanted, but she didn’t have much use for them. Surely if she saved money for long enough she could afford a car or a house, but she didn’t have much use for them either. What was truly astonishing was how she viewed the everyday things she had always seen. When she had time to disappear into the mountains for a day everything seemed brighter and clearer and more fantastical than ever before because she had been away from there for a week. The sky seemed bluer, the water clearer, the earth softer under her feet. She saw the world, her world in ways she had never seen it before. She didn’t just notice the woodpecker nest in the tree, hidden behind a tiny hole the bird had carved out; she noticed each mark from the beak that worked away at the tree to make the home. She noticed a heart shaped rock not far from her cave and she had no idea how long it had been there. When she came home at night, her bed of furs seemed more welcoming. When she spent the night with a man, she noticed how defined the veins on his arms were or how tightly he wrapped her in his arms. She took the time to work through each smell on his body from sweat to Old Spice shampoo to the air and the earth in which he moved. Being away from what she had had for so long only made every detail of the world around her more precious. She took a deep breath in. She wanted for nothing and that was the most comforting feeling in the world.

Valley Voice

June 2017

Mister Helpful’s Dating Guide

Control Issues and Dating


It’s all about your Happiness

By Mr. Helpful, M.D.

Let me start by saying that Not Everyone Likes Broccoli. Also, there are people who WANT to be told how to make the bed first thing in the morning right after a very passionate loving time was spent with the person who is telling them how to make the bed with the sheets folded in only a certain way because if it’s done any other way the crease will be more than 2 inches from the edge and that would look terrible if anyone would walk in and see the bed in such an unsightly state.

have dated anyone unusual, then you get to hear about how they handled the situation and can assess their level of compassion. If they never did, then you get to ask questions to lead them to talk about any unique qualities that they might have.

Yeah, they’re out there and they want to Date you. (But only if you do it right.)

Are they truly Nuts?

We’re talking about Control Issues. You have them, they have them and we can all get along if want to or not. Dating someone who is meticulous in their behavior or just likes things to be a certain way because they are right (all the time) has its positives and negatives. It’s up to you as to whether or not you will put up with or adapt to their mannerisms. Yer choice pumpkin. If they have C.I.s Discovering that your Date has a Control Issue about something could end things right there at the front door. Maybe you just aren’t the Date for them, period, sorry it’s over. Feel no shame or doubt about saving your own mind and heart because you are not attracted to someone whose behavior does not make you feel comfortable or appreciated. Run like the wind from them. Fly. Be Free. No Regrets. Assessing how bad they have C.I.’s however, is a good start. The direct approach is, of course, asking them outright if they have any issues you need to be aware of; nothing wrong with doing that. But not everyone wants to confront another person about a personal issue right to their face. Remember, while talking on the phone they are just a Potential Date. Being nice to them and having good manners will keep them in the Potential Date stage. Once you discover something “off putting” about them, they have the chance to instantly become That Guy or That Girl I WAS going to see, but for whatever reason, it didn’t work out. Here are several ways of asking a stranger about secret/ delicate/sensitive/private/personal subjects, if you yourself are not so sensitive: *Are there any special circumstances I should be aware of before our date? *Do you have any unique habits that make going out in public a bit of a challenge? *Give a bit of info about yourself - truth please. I myself am always slightly late to events, what about yourself? Are you the same, or would this bug you? Also there is the “make up a story about someone you once dated who also had a thing that they did…” approach. After telling the short version of it, ask your Potential Date if they ever dated anyone who had an unusual quality. This is a conversation starter for sure. If they

Once you have uncovered your Potential Dates C.I.’s, it comes down to you and what you personally think about those issues:

Are the police going to be involved sometime in the future? Would being on one date with them drive you nuts or could you go out with them? What happens if you meet them and they are everything you ever wanted in a partner, but they have just this one little C.I., can you get over it? I certainly hope so, because nearly every single human being on the planet has a Control Issue about something. Relax my dear and you will be fine. So will they, and the two of you together will be amazing. Go get ‘em Tiger and do not worry about their habits; they will get over yours as well.

*Have you ever had the police involved to break up an argument between you and a date or relationship? We’re just talking about a loud argument and not a domestic abuse thing here. In that case, don’t ever date that person ever again.

Having Control Issues is not a bad thing, it’s just a thing. If you find someone who is willing to deal with you on your level, drop to your knees and thank heaven above that you found them. Also buy ice cream cake, ‘cause that’s a nice way to say thanks as well. I truly believe that there is someone out there who will be the most perfect person for each of us. Sometimes they live in another country and that sucks cause of passport restrictions, but you can get around that. Honest. Now get out there and find happiness.

Find Mister Helpful’s Dating Guide on Facebook, hit the LIKE button and read the expanded versions of this column and others. Next month – Sassy = Bitch. What to say and not to say in an Online dating Profile.

What if YOU are the one with C.I.’s? Time to start asking yourself tough questions: *Do you micro manage your friends? Kids? Life?

*Are you always the one who HAS to solve everyone problems? *Do you HAVE to tell a better or more interesting story after someone else tells their story? *Is there any clutter at all anywhere in your house? *Must you be on time and have tremendous anxiety over being late? *Are you Nutz?

Need an AC/Mini-Split? Call Little Shop! 2560 Copper Ridge Drive, Steamboat Springs, Colorado (970) 879-8577 You can be rich in spirit, kindness, love and all those things that you can’t put a dollar sign on.—Dolly Parton


June 2017

Valley Voice

A Closer Look

Hemp Oil: Not What You Think By Monica Yager

The legalization of marijuana in just a few states has opened a whole new world of revenue making opportunities. From marijuana-infused edibles to a salad with hemp seeds at Walmart, it appears the marijuana plant delivers plenty of bang for the buck. But the broad appeal of marijuana doesn’t stop there. It didn’t take long before someone came up with the idea of topical lotions infused with hemp oil or cannabidiol (CBD). Hemp oil is derived from the seeds of hemp plants that do not have significant amounts of the psychoactive component that is so endearing to many people. However, the oil that is derived from these plants has some nutritional value, having a ratio of omega-6 and omega-3 essential fatty acids that matches the known requirements of the human body. This oil also has an industrial side, used in lubricants, plastics, biodiesel, as a hardener in putty, a binder in paint, and can polymerize into a solid form. Because of these characteristics and low saturated fat content, hemp oil, in a topical application, needs a whole lot of preservatives and fillers. Some brands of hemp lotions put hemp oil somewhere in the middle of a very long ingredient list, so it would seem any benefits would be indistinguishable from lotions without hemp oil. Even though internet hucksters make wild claims ranging from improving cardiovascular health and rejuvenating vital organs to curing all forms of diseases and conditions, hemp

oil lotions won’t cure cancer or do much for that rash, and it won’t make you high, but it might make your skin soft. Cannabidiol (CBD) differs from hemp oil in that it is derived from all parts of the hemp plant and can also be extracted from a marijuana plant. While CBD derived from marijuana is federally illegal, hemp CBD is legal due to the small amount of the main functional ingredient found in marijuana. As with hemp oil, the hucksters make bold claims of the purported health benefits that can be had with CBD, including relieving pain, both acute and chronic, even though there are no scientific studies to back that up.

time the research is in the very early stages, limited to animal and human cell clone studies. So far, the research of CBD for chronic pain reveals that more research is needed. Because chronic pain is caused by different conditions, each condition may require different dosages, applications, or dosing schedules. There are no known effective dosages, and clinical trials for safety analysis are required. At this time, there are no claims for the use of hemp oil or CBD for the treatment of acute or chronic pain that are evidence based. A few more considerations for CBD:

Acute pain results from overexertion - think working out or lifting weights - and resolves itself in a short amount of time, and sometimes a little relief is welcome. But, neither hemp oil nor CBD, on their own, contain analgesic properties like those found in menthol, camphor, or capsaicin, which produce a heating or cooling sensation on the skin by desensitizing, distracting, and tricking the nerves within a depth of one centimeter of skin, creating the sensation of relieving pain. That means that without the analgesics doing all the work, hemp oil and CBD are of little use in relieving acute pain.

CBD derived from hemp with a low amount of the psychoactive component doesn’t work as well as CDB derived from a marijuana plant with lots of THC.

However, chronic pain, considered constant and recurring, has been the subject of some research with CBD. At this

And there’s the rub: a substance used strictly for recreational purposes, no matter how popular or legal, takes a lot more than wishful thinking to elevate to the attainment of healing powers.

Random testing of CBD products offered on the Internet found toxic solvent residues. One, hexane, is a neurotoxin. Hemp excels as a bio-accumulator; it absorbs whatever is in the soil it is grown in, including toxic substances. It was used after the Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant disaster to absorb heavy metals and radiation.

OPEN Monday - Saturday 4pm-2am

Jorge, Liliana L, Caroline C Feres, and Vitor EP Teles. “Topical Preparations for Pain Relief: Efficacy and Patient Adherence.” Journal of Pain Research 4 (2011): 11–24. PMC. Web. 10 May 2017. T S Monica Yager is a graduate of Brown Institute, Minnes apolis, MN and attended Colorado Northwest Community p College (CNCC) and Colorado Mountain College (CMC) Arts & Humanities program. A Closer Look is the culmination H of witnessing first-hand the wackiness of the alternative I health world as former owner of a health food store and s the encouragement of a couple of professors to write, write, write. I s

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For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

750 Hospital Loop Craig, Colorado 81625 Phone: 970-824-9411 e-mail:

Valley Voice

June 2017


Here Knitty-Knitty

The Ghost In The Knitting By LA Bourgeois

Right now. Seriously. She wants to knit them. Right. Now. Seriously. I want to wear them tomorrow. I mean, she wants to wear them tomorrow! I said she! I typed she! Okay, even at my speediest, I never completed a pair of socks in a day. However, I always planned a pair of socks for our road trips across the country, kitchenering the toe closed as my sweetie drifted to sleep each night. The ghost shrieked her protest when I refused to knit on the road trip visiting my parents. I left the shawl in the back seat where I should have been, considering how much I instructed my sweetie on how to conduct the car down the highway. I’m guessing she wished that ghost had succeeded in making me knit instead. However, I resisted the ghost’s influence. Now, my knitting is my own. For a long time, I knitted for others: testknitting a baby sweater, knitting a sock to show off new yarn for the yarn shop, leading a knit-along at my knitting group. I lost the time to knit presents for the kids and my sweetie and my family. Knitting for myself? When did I have the time? You could knit yourself that pair of socks, she whispers in my ear. They would be all your own.

The ghost of the old knitter sits in my chair each evening. She remembers when my fingers flew, when I completed a shawl during a vacation, when each road trip produced a pair of socks.

The row ends. She protests as I place my project back in the tote, remove my gloves, and relax into my overstuffed burgundy chair. I promise her I will return later that evening if the pain subsides.

Howling, the ghost throws herself at my knitting bag when I take her place. She rocks the bag into view, pulling the shawl to the top, begging me to touch the needles.

All this zen troubles the ghost. As I set my needles aside, I hear her wail.

I test my hands for pain. Feeling none, I don my compression gloves, giving my hands support. I knit a row. Heartened by the absence of pain, she encourages me to start the next one. Like an athlete responding to a coach during rehab, I challenge myself to go a little further this time. The ache shows up in my thumb. Moving to the back of my hand, a little lane of fire runs from my index finger to my wrist. Only a few more stitches to the end of the second row. She applauds as I pass the halfway point. I concentrate on my hands holding the needles. The left hand takes over. Not wanting to disappoint, I switch from throwing to picking and then back to english instead of continental. She growls a warning as my form slips.


No. My active projects include the magic shawl for my sweetie and a mini version of a shawlish cardigan design. I’m using it as a swatch for a larger version (and as a gift for my neice at some point this year). With my limited knitting ability, casting on a pair of socks for myself would only lead to one more project in a bag.

So, I find the patience while the ghost strides back and forth in front of me, haunting me with daydreams of rainbow socks for myself. I muddle along with my magic shawl, while the ghost reminds me of my fingers flying through yards of yarn each evening. The ghost passes along the song of the yarn. The rattle of the needles in their cases. The skittering notions in their box. With the frequency of her calls, I think a sacrifice might be necessary to quiet her.

Recently, a friend posted a picture of her current project: rainbow socks. The ghost snarled at me. “I want to knit rainbow socks. I’ve wanted them since February. We bought the yarn! We have the needles!”

Maybe I will cast on those rainbow socks.

My rainbow sock plans got derailed somewhere between “Ouch-ouch-ouch-ouch” and “Look at all these in-process projects I’m moving to the new house!”

Who’s in charge now?

She wants to knit them now.

After all, a knitter should always have something for her on the needles.

-LA Bourgeois types and knits in the mountains of Western North Carolina now. Follow all her adventures online at

I want people to get over the stigma about hemp. These seeds can’t make you high, but they will make you feel good.—Ziggy Marley


June 2017

Valley Voice

Yampa Valley Health Care Action Group

Pregnant? Navigating Health Care Options in the Yampa Valley By Nancy Spillane

As noted in the Yampa Valley Health Care Action Group article in the May issue of the Valley Voice, health care in America is complicated. Weeding one’s way through the details when needing care is not an easy task. It also can be frustrating and overwhelming. With this in mind, this month we focus entirely on services available to women who are pregnant. Below you will find some of the navigation made easier with information on what is available in the Yampa Valley. In addition, please use the handy glossary just in case you run into a phrase, acronym, or program with which you might be unfamiliar. If you are pregnant or know someone who is pregnant, there are several insurance and health care options in Routt County. If you are fortunate enough to have health insurance, you can go directly to any OB/GYN physician/ clinic to begin care. If you are without health insurance, you have three options. 1. You can apply for Medicaid (Health First Colorado). You can do this by visiting the Northwest Colorado Health at 940 Central Park Dr # 101, Steamboat Springs, CO 80487. Phone: 970.879.1632. You also can do this through the Department of Human Services at 135 6th St, Steamboat Springs, CO 80487 (the courthouse building). Phone: 970.879.1540. You can apply online at Colorado. gov/PEAK (this is the fastest way to apply). Applications also can be done by phone at 1-800221-3943. Please note that it will take longer for the state to approve or disapprove, so women are encouraged to do the application in person at Northwest Colorado Health. 2. You can apply for Child Health Plan Plus (CHP+), a public low-cost health insurance for children and pregnant women from families who earn too much to qualify for Colorado’s Medicaid Program, but not enough to pay for private health insurance. You can apply for CHP+ at the same places listed above for Medicaid applications. 3. Northwest Colorado Health has technicians available to discuss insurance and care options related to pregnancy. It does not provide prenatal care except to clients who have no access to any insurance. For women who are in that situation, they provide limited care with a basic first OB visit, which includes blood tests, Pap smear, and if appropriate, gonorrhea and Chlamydia tests, health history and referrals to other supportive programs. If the client has other insurance, then a health history is taken and referral directly to the OB is facilitated. Pregnancy information is also given about taking prenatal vitamins, diet, exercise, medications that are safe to take just to name a few of the topics covered. Phone: 970.879.1632.

Other services available in the Yampa Valley: • Although Northwest Colorado Health does not provide obstetrical care, they will provide medical care for health problems not related to pregnancy that may occur during the pregnancy. For example, asthma flare ups, or sprained ankles or bladder infections are typical of what Northwest Colorado Health might treat. Phone: 970.879.1632.

• Supportive services from Colorado Northwest Health include a home visitation program called Nurse Family Partnership for first time moms. A specially trained nurse is assigned to an expectant mother (dads are encouraged to participate as well) to provide free education about pregnancy and parenting. This program covers the entire pregnancy and the first two years of the baby’s life. Phone: 970.879.1632 • WIC (Women, Infants, and Children) is a federal program designed to help teach moms about good nutrition and provide food vouchers for foods that are good for the pregnancy. A pregnant woman can refer herself or be referred by her OB or by Northwest Colorado Health. There is an income threshold that will determine if the woman qualifies. Phone: 970.879.1632 • Selah is a pregnancy resource for pregnancy education as well as providing access to supplies an expectant woman might need but can’t always afford. Medical services include: Free pregnancy tests, ultrasounds, lab tests for Chlamydia and gonorrhea and common sexually transmitted diseases, counseling for men, advocates for care, and mom & dad coaching. 970.871.1307 • Lift Up also has different resource help and emergency services. The best way to discover what they offer is to call them at 970.870.8804. • Tobacco Free/Baby and Me is a smoking cessation program based at the Northwest Colorado Health to incentivize women to stop smoking during their pregnancy. Success is measured by testing on a carbon monoxide monitor. If the woman tests negative 5 times, they receive a $25 voucher for diapers to be redeemed at Walmart twice before delivery and once a month for the first 12 months of the baby’s life. Phone: 970.879.1632 • Northwest Colorado Health also provides birth control options including LARCs (long term and reversible contraception such as IUDs or an implanted device called Nexplenon) • If you are not sure of the future of your pregnancy, then Planned Parenthood will be open to discussing all possibilities. Planned Parenthood is located at 111 Eleventh St, Steamboat Springs CO 80487. Phone: 970.879.2212.

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

Useful Glossary and Handy Reference for Health Care Phrases and Vocabulary ACCESS to HEALTH CARE: The timely use of personal health care to achieve the best outcomes. Obtaining good access to care requires being able to gain entry to the health care system (overcome language, financial and cultural barriers) as well as being able to receive timely services at places of care like clinics and hospitals. Access to care also requires relationships of mutual communication, respect and trust with doctors and other health care providers. AFFORDABLE CARE ACT (ACA): Health Care reform law in America often called by its nickname OBAMACARE. AFFORDABLE COVERAGE: A job-based health plan covering only the employee that costs 9.69% or less of the employee’s household income. If a job-based plan is “affordable,” and meets the “minimum value” standard, you’re not eligible for a premium tax credit if you choose to buy a Marketplace insurance plan instead. CAFETERIA PLAN: Plan provided by employers under Section 125 of the Internal Revenue Code that allows employees to receive certain benefits on a pretax basis. CATASTROPHIC HEALTH INSURANCE: Coverage tends to cover an expensive, severe illness but not routine prevention, assessment and diagnostic costs. CHILDREN’S HEALTH INSURANCE PROGRAM (CHIP): Federalstate program for children who aren’t poor enough to qualify for Medicaid but whose families can’t afford private insurance. COINSURANCE: The percentage of the cost of medical services that isn’t covered by the insurer and thus must be paid by the patient. CONSOLIDATED OMNIBUS BUDGET RECONCILIATION ACT OF 1985 (COBRA): Allows former employees of companies with 20 or more workers to receive coverage under their employers’ health plans, if they pay the full cost of coverage and a small administrative fee. The 2009 stimulus bill provides a 65% subsidy to the worker for nine months, if the employees lost their jobs between Sept. 1, 2008, and Dec. 31, 2009. CONSUMER-DIRECTED HEALTH PLANS: Health plans that typically have high deductibles and are coupled to consumer-controlled savings accounts used to pay for services not covered by the plan. The aim is to make patients more sensitive to the high cost of care. COPAYMENT: A flat amount paid by a consumer when a medical service is rendered by a participating provider in a health plan. DEDUCTIBLE: Fixed amount that must be paid by a patient before a health plan begins to cover other services. DOUGHNUT HOLE: Refers to a coverage gap in Medicare prescription drug coverage. FEDERAL EMPLOYEES HEALTH BENEFITS PROGRAM (FEHBP): Health care plans offered to federal civilian employees who choose annually among a number of private health insurance plans. HEALTH COVERAGE TAX CREDITS: Refundable tax credit designed to help certain individuals pay for premiums. HEALTH INSURANCE EXCHANGE: A marketplace created to give individuals, small businesses and others access to affordable private health insurance. HEALTH MAINTENANCE ORGANIZATION (HMO): Managed care plan that gives members comprehensive health care services through a network of providers. HEALTH SAVINGS ACCOUNT (HSA): Tax-preferred savings, paired with a high deductible health plan. Both employees and employers can contribute to the accounts. Worker must pay for all services until the deductible is reached. Money left in the account at the end of the year can be rolled over to the next. HIGH-RISK POOL: Health insurance pool created by many states to cover individuals who can’t get coverage because of pre-existing medical conditions. Typically, these are very expensive for the individual. INDIVIDUAL INSURANCE MARKET: Where individuals who aren’t covered by an employer or government agency purchase health insurance on their own.

Valley Voice

June 2017


Energetically Speaking INDIVIDUAL MANDATE: Law requiring individuals to have health insurance or face a possible penalty. MEDICAID: Federal health insurance program administered and partially funded by states for the low-income and disabled. Provides preventative, acute and long-term care to about 60 million people including children and the elderly.

Colorado Corn By Fred Robinson

MEDICAID EXPANSION: One of the major coverages of the Affordable Care Act (ACA) is the expansion of Medicaid eligibility to nearly all low-income individuals with incomes at our below 138 percent of poverty ($27,821 for a family of three in 2016). MEDICAID WAIVERS: Issued by the Department of Health and Human Services, waivers allow the states to experiment with the design of their programs. For example, the states may get federal funds to provide coverage to certain categories of people for which federal funds wouldn’t normally be eligible. MEDICARE: Federal health program for people 65 and older and the disabled. Part A provides inpatient-hospital coverage; Part B, outpatient coverage, including doctors’ visits; Part C, hospital and doctors’ expenses, administered through private plans called Medicare Advantage, and Part D, stand-alone prescription drug coverage. MEDICARE ADVANTAGE: Medicare benefits offered through private plans rather than through the traditional fee-for-service plan. MEDICARE SUPPLEMENTAL INSURANCE (MEDIGAP): Sold by private insurance firms, these policies fill in the “gaps” of Medicare fee-for-service coverage, such as co-pays. NATIONAL HEALTH SYSTEM: Publicly funded health care systems, as in England and Germany, in which all individuals have health insurance and some clinics and hospitals are government-run. OPEN ENROLLMENT: Time of year that most employees sign up for health coverage. OUT-OF-NETWORK-PROVIDER: A health care professional, hospital, or pharmacy that is not part of a health plan’s network of preferred providers. You will generally pay more for services received from out-of-network providers. PATIENT AND FAMILY-CENTERED CARE: Patient and family-centered care is designed, with patient involvement, to ensure timely, convenient, well-coordinated consideration of a person’s health and health care needs, preferences, and values. It includes mutually agreed upon patient goals and care options; and it requires ongoing assessment of the care and patient goals. PREFERRED PROVIDER ORGANIZATION (PPO): A health insurance plan that offers greater freedom of choice than HMO (health maintenance organization) plans. Members of PPOs are free to receive care from both in-network or out-of-network (non-preferred) providers, but will receive the highest level of benefits when they use providers inside the network. PUBLIC OPTION: Refers to a portion of the ACA (Obamacare) that would have created a Medicare-like health insurance policy that most U.S. residents could purchase as an alternative to purchasing policies from private health insurers. REFUNDABLE TAX CREDIT: A way to provide a cash subsidy to an individual or business even if no tax is owed. SINGLE-PAYER SYSTEM: A system under which a single entity, usually the government, collects health care fees and pays the bills, but isn’t involved in the delivery of care. SOCIAL SECURITY DISABILITY INSURANCE: Government assistance, financed through Social Security taxes, to people permanently disabled and unable to work, and who previously paid Social Security taxes. TAX CREDIT: Flat amount that can be deducted from owed taxes. Under some health care reform proposals, tax credits would be given to moderate-income individuals and families to subsidize health insurance premiums. UNIVERSAL HEALTH CARE: Health insurance for an entire population, through private or public programs. WORKERS’ COMPENSATION PROGRAMS: Program designed to ensure that employees who are injured or disabled on the job are provided with medical care, rehabilitative services, and fixed monetary awards. The main source for this glossary is the Kaiser Family Foundation. Colorado Corn invited me to a Teach the Teacher Conference this spring at Aims College’s Automotive and Technology Center in Windsor Colorado. I left before dawn to get there for a 9AM start and had a moose run in front of my car on Cameron Pass. He was huge and would have gotten hit if I had not seen him coming out of the dark at high speed. Locking up the brakes and swerving saved his butt and my grille! Colorado Corn invited me there to share my knowledge about Ethanol. The conference was in the garage of the technology center and had representatives from tool companies, automobile parts manufacturers, major automobile manufacturers, parts warehouses, paint companies, and basically everyone that supplies anything to repair and maintain cars and trucks. There was an Alternative Fuels information break out section that I participated in. The lead Ethanol presenter was from the Colorado Energy Center in Fort Collins and had been studying Ethanol for years and had built an engine in a Suburban for Colorado Corn that was Optimized to run on Ethanol. It was not at the conference because of running problems. My vehicle was on display in front of the entrance to the conference and used E50, half ethanol and half gasoline, and CNG, compressed natural gas to get there. I told the teachers in the breakout sessions about the different blends of Ethanol I have worked with and all the vehicles and small engines that have used Ethanol without any problems. The other presenter talked about how Ethanol is made, but had no knowledge about using it. My message was simple. I told the attendees to Optimize the fuel instead of the engine. Different engines operate best with different blends of fuel. Every engine will run very well with E30, 30% ethanol and 70% gasoline. Using more Ethanol reduces our consumption of TOXIC gasoline, so if an engine will run well on more Ethanol, I encourage it!

All vehicles built for the US have had Ethanol tolerant fuel systems since the 1990s. A few pieces in the systems will have problems if they are made from copper because it gets a non conductive coating from Ethanol. The government knew Ethanol would become a bigger component of gasoline, because they planned to do just that. Gasohol has been used in the central states for many years and was just 10% ethanol in gasoline. Many older vehicles will run just fine with E85 and some will not. E85 is actually just 70% Ethanol and 30% gasoline. If you want to find out, just put E85 into the tank when it is low to see how it runs. Don’t fill it, just add a few gallons. If it does not run well add more gasoline until it does. This will give you an idea of what ratio works best for that engine. After the conference I went to a new CNG station nearby to fill my CNG tanks. It is between a major soft drink company and an energy company. It is there to fuel large fleets from those companies. The station was not operational yet and was supposed to open last year. OK, there is a CNG dispenser in downtown Greely that is out of the way and I have used it in the past, but it was out of commission! Last chance to fill with CNG in the area is Kersy, a small town 15 miles farther East. When I got there a technician was working on the compressor. He told me he was doing maintenance and it would be operational in ten minutes. Whew! Filling up with E85 was easy, a Kum&Go station in Greely had it for over a dollar less than premium. A lot of people would like to Optimize the traffic through Steamboat. A bypass has been discussed in the past, but a route could never be decided on. Now there is a solution! We need to call Elon Musk and have a tunnel dug below town that will carry traffic that doesn’t need to stop here. Elon has built a new tunneling machine that will dig a tunnel to bypass traffic congestion near his office. Our city has no problem spending money to fix problems, just call him.

Quality child care, health insurance coverage, and training make it possible for former welfare recipients to get, and keep, jobs.—Mel Carnahan


June 2017

Valley Voice


Your Monthly Message By Chelsea Yepello Aries


a e L n e Gold






April 20 - May 20




May 20 - June 20

Purple rocket ship to Mars…Crewed by S monkeys in little space suits...RThey TEsay TyouAhave N E you’re crazy, butO you swear seen C C N them. Don’t worry, that delirious wino on S S LA G the street corner agrees with you.


June 21 - July 22

July 23 - August 23

In all of the fun, you have forgotten to fulfill your responsibilities. Unusually forgetting something you need to get done doesn’t really matter. Like, maybe you forgot to do your laundry or pick up milk at the store. But forgetting to seek the hiding kid you are babysitting is not cool.







August 23 - September 22

And then one day, just as suddenly as it came, it was gone. You may have over REL APPA reacted, or maybe you did exactly what


1755 Lincoln Avenue Steamboat Springs, CO On the Free Bus Route For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

October 24 - November 21

Oh man, that shiny little penny is so beautiful and new. You just want to pick it up and take it home. But someone has superglued it to the pavement.



879.5929 905 Weiss Drive - across HWY 40 from the Holiday Inn

November 22 - December 21

December 22 - January 19

Sometimes you just have to let it out, say what you mean and do what needs to be done. It can be nerve wracking, and may shake things up a bit, but at least then you won’t mentally explode and project word vomit at the wrong and most awkward time possible.


January 20 - February 18

When you’re almost there but can’t seem to cross that finish line, that’s when it’s time to push a little harder and give it a little extra. Determination is key. And if that doesn’t work, just whine. That seems to work too.


February 19 - March 20

You will meet a person wearing bright red shoes. They will ask you for a dollar so they can buy a pack of gum. Do not give it to them; they are not really going to buy gum.

By Cully Kistler

Recreational: 8am - 10pm Medical: 8am - 7pm



You will soon join a very strange gathering of people that have the same strange obsession with hamster wheels as you do. At least now L RE you don’t have to feel so alone as you stare at A P P A the squeaky wheel of joy.

When do you know that you have found the IT? When you get to know it, every nook and cranny of it, and it’s still exciting and interesting. That’s when it is IT.


September 23 - October 23

Are you totally excited right now? Because you should be! It’s all happening, and it’s all happening for you.

Something great has happened, but for some strange reason you still want to make it even better. Yes, it is good to strive for the best, but it is also important to focus on what you have now and what you have been so graciously given. Keep reaching for the stars, but don’t forget that you may be riding on the prettiest one in the sky. Awww....


needed to be done, but regardless, it’s finally over and you’re left with an empty feeling and a little sigh of relief.

March 21 - April 19

Is patience really a virtue? Do good things really come those who wait? The world may never know. One thing is for sure though, “patiently” watching the water boil is not going to make that cup of noodles taste any better.

Valley Voice

June 2017

OSO’s Adventures By Jeff Morehead

By Matt Scharf

Rent a Kayuck ©



June 2017

Valley Voice

Illustration by

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.