Issuu on Google+

December 2016 . Issue 5.12

FREE

a member managed llc

Steamboat Springs Hayden Oak Creek Yampa Photo Illustration by Paulie AndersonŠ


2

Add Ace at the Curve logo

December 2016

NIGHT

Valley Voice

LOCAL HONEY!

SKIING & RIDING

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

+

JUST BECAUSE THE DAYLIGHT ENDS,

DOESN’T MEAN THE FUN DOES.

Get some J&J’s Honey for your Christmas Honey. Great stocking stuffers and gift basket items for all your holiday cheer! Support your local Bee keepers - buy local honey!

Your prescription for your allergies, health and life.

“I Tried”

Available at:

Thomas Jefferson 817 Lincoln Ave.

DATES & HOURS* 12/15-12/19 Thurs-Mon 5:30-8:30pm

OPEN Monday - Saturday 4pm-2am

12/22-1/2 Nightly 5:30-8:30pm 1/5-2/16** Thurs-Mon 5:30-8:30pm 2/17-3/27 Thurs-Mon 6:00-9:00pm *Hours of operation subject to change. **Closed February 5, 2017 (Super Bowl Sunday)

A m p d s t a a i p

The Umbrella Bar is the best spot to watch the night action on the slopes. Sip on specialty libations and stay warm during night skiing and riding. Stop in Gondola Joe’s and grab a quick bite to eat or warm up with a hot beverage. Open during night skiing and riding. Located in gondola square.

FOR DETAILS OR TO PURCHASE TICKETS, VISIT THE MAIN TICKET OFFICE AT THE BASE AREA, GO ONLINE TO STEAMBOAT.COM/NIGHTSKIING OR CALL 877.783.2628

Percentage of all proceeds goes to benefit local veterans

The V, Inc

924 Lincoln Ave (970) 734-4357

Tuesday: League Night Wednesday: 8 Ball Tournament Thursday: 9 Ball Tournament -

Happy hour specials 4-6 and 10-12

6:30 6:30 6:30

T t o

D b t p

S w b

A v

P T

1

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.


Valley Voice

December 2016

Circulation 7000

Rants...

Contents The Twelve Days of Nature

Not winterizing soon enough… Page 4

By Karen Vail

Page 5

By Scott L. Ford

Christmas When They Were Young

Page 6

By Ellen & Paul Bonnifield

The Morning After

Page 7

Give Where You Live

Page 8

Page 9

By Dan Hughes

Art Director:

Matt Scharf

Business Manager: Scott Ford Event Calendar: Nina Rogers boobula57@yahoo.com Sales: Paulie Anderson paulie@yampavalleyvoice.com Web: Callie M. Anderson info@bittywebs.com

Give the Greatest Gift of All: Art

Fun Facts About Steamboat

Official Fine Print

The views and opinions expressed reflect the views and opinions of the authors and may not necessarily reflect the views and opinion of the editor, staff or advertisers in Steamboat’s Valley Voice.

Page 9

By Scott Ford

Eat Sh*t: A Thanksgiving Tale

Page 10

By The Wandering Rose

Personal Care Hygene

Page 11

By Mr. Helpful, MD

Getting a dent in the parking lot and not getting a note…

Raves... First tracks 4-wheeling on a powder day… Freshly studded shoes… A tall stack of Franklins… Completing the whole list… Hydration therapy…

Left Behind Page 12 By Lyn Wheaton

Page 17

Say What?...

Page 18

“That’s the dumbest thing I’ve heard since the last stupid thing you said.”

By Scott Parker

Calendar of Events By Nina Rogers

By Lorre Buss

“You didn’t just do it one time, you just got caught one time.”

Gifting Change Page 22

“That coffee is so weak it makes water taste strong.”

Healing Heresies Page 21

The LA Bourgeois

“Her cooking is so bad we pray after we eat.”

What is it Like to be You?

Advertisers assume full responsibility for the entire content and subject matter of their ads. In the event of error or omission in the advertisement, the publisher’s sole responsibility shall be to publish the advertisement at a later date. Advertisements and articles are accepted and published upon the representation that the author, agency and/or advertiser is authorized to publish the entire contents and subject matter thereof. The author, agency, and/ or advertiser will indemnify and save Valley Voice, LLC harmless from all claims and legal action resulting from the contents of the articles or advertisements including claims or suits resulting from libel, defamation, plagiarism, rights to privacy and copyright infringements.

Losing the charger…

Opening on time…

By Dagny McKinley

News from the Chief of the Chief Valley Voice is published monthly and distributed on the last Wednesday of each month. Please address letters, questions, comments or concerns to: Valley Voice, LLC, P.O. Box 770743 or come by and see us at 1125 Lincoln Ave, Unit 2C, Steamboat Springs, CO 80477. Paulie Anderson: 970-846-8953. Matt Scharf: 970-846-3801. Scott Ford: 970-819-9630. Website www.yampavalleyvoice.com. Subscription rate is $35 per year (12 issues). All content © 2016 Valley Voice, L.L.C. No portion of the contents of this publication may be reproduced in any manner without the written permission of the publisher.

Parking the car in the ditch…

Feral cats…

By Eric Kemper

Paulie Anderson

Smooth tires on slick snow… Breaking bones on opening day…

The Gentrification of Steamboat Springs

Publisher:

3

Page 23

The Nina Rogers

“I farted on an elevator – it was wrong on so many levels.”

Gobble Gobble Page 24

“I say no to alcohol, but it just won’t listen.”

By Nacho Neighbor

Played like a Fiddle

Page 25

“The latest mythical creature is an honest politician.”

By Fred Robison

Your Monthly Message

Yampa Valley Voice

Page 26

http://www.yampavalleyvoice.com/

By Chelsea Yepello

Comics Page 27

Direct all correspondence, articles, editorials or advertisements to the address below. The author’s signature and phone number must accompany letters to the editor. Names will be withheld upon request (at the discretion of the publisher).

Subscription rate is a donation of 35 measly dollars per year. However, if you wish to send more because you know we desperately need your money, don’t be shy, send us all you can!

Advertisers rates vary by size, call 970-846-8953 and we’ll come visit you.

Please make checks payable to: Valley Voice, LLC Thank you for your support!

http://kaywa.me/F9ptl

1125 Lincoln Ave. Unit 2C • Steamboat Springs, CO 80487

Nothing says holidays, like a cheese log. -Ellen DeGeneres


4

December 2016

Valley Voice

‘Boat Almanac

The Twelve Days of Nature By Karen Vail

of waste, called honeydew, which is high in sugar. Ants love sugar and have formed a mutualistic relationship with aphids where the ants produce the food and the ants aggressively protect the aphids from predation. To get the aphids’ sugary food, the ants “milk” the aphids, using their antennae to stoke the aphids, stimulating them to release their honeydew. Some aphid species have lost the ability to poop, relying on their caretaker ants to milk them. Eeew! On the ninth day of spring, nature gave to me ten sandhill cranes dancing… And dance they can! Their energetic and eye-catching dances occur mostly during their spring mating season to help rebuild pair bonds (the birds mate for life). But they dance all through the year. Some researchers suggest this off-season dancing teaches the young colts (sandhill chicks) the important dance steps and encourages them to practice, practice, practice! Others say dancing is just fun and an important form of family and pair bonding. Whatever it is for the birds it is a must-see for everyone to experience at least once in their life time. Enjoy singing this ode to the holidays to the tune of the Twelve Days of Christmas. On the first day of autumn, nature gave to me a whitetail ptarmigan in a krummholz tree. The ultimate alpine bird, white-tail ptarmigan is superbly adapted to the wind, exposure and long winters of the upper subalpine and alpine. In autumn, they are a patchwork of white and spotted brown as they molt bit by bit into their all-white winter plumage. On the second day of summer, nature gave to me two mourning doves… oooAAhh cooo coo coo. Soft and meditative, serene and mournful. It’s no wonder that doves are the birds of peace with their slender, almost angelic bodies and soothing calls. Don’t mistake our native mourning dove with the Eurasian collared-dove, an introduced species that is slowly bullying their way into our native dove’s habitat. On the third day of spring, nature gave to me three greater sage grouse… and then 4 and then 10 and then… It is 5:00 in the morning around the first of May and the sun has not even graced the horizon when we hear the first sounds of these amazing birds. It is a strange burbling with occasional wing flaps; only a couple at first then more as the horizon begins to glow. Small forms, bobbing and strutting, begin to emerge from the sagebrush shadows and the strangest dance begins to take shape. This is truly something worthy of getting up at 4:00am! On the fourth day of winter, nature gave to me four calling birds… A day spent in the forests in the winter will leave you singing the songs of the winter bird flocks. Winter is tough for the remaining winter small birds. The two theories of why a variety of birds flock together in winter are to improve foraging and reduce the risk of predation. There are “leader” species (mainly chickadees and titmice) and “follower” species (nuthatches, woodpeckers, dark-eyed juncos). So why do the leaders put up with the followers? It seems many of the benefits fall mostly to the

followers, but the leaders probably do not lose much, and maybe even gain a little by having more eyes on the sky and food sources. On the fifth day of autumn, nature gave to me five goooold leaves… Aspen gold, that is! On the sixth day of spring, nature gave to me six Canada geese a-laying… Canada geese arrive in “V” formation flocks in spring, soon separating out into their own territories where the couples, who tend to mate for life, will start the family raising process. The female chooses a site near water on an elevated patch of ground, giving her a good 360-degree view. After building her open nest of dry grasses, mosses, and other dry materials, she will lay 2-8 creamy white eggs about 3 inches long, adding downy feathers after the second egg is laid. The male diligently stands guard until the adorable chicks hatch. On the seventh day of autumn, nature gave to me seven trumpeter swans a-swimming… I was incredulous when Nancy Merrill told me she enjoyed watching trumpeter swans on the Yampa River by her house east of Hayden. Swans in the Yampa Valley!! We are all lucky to see trumpeter swans at all, as they were nearly wiped out in the early 20th century. Because of their large size (a full grown male can weigh up to 26 pounds) and incredible white feathers, they were hunted from the 1600s to the 1800s until only 65 known individuals remained in 1935. Today the trumpeter swan numbers are rebounding with a continent-wide survey between 2000 and 2005 showing 34,803 birds, according to the Cornell Lab of Ornithology. But they still face loss of habitat, lead poisoning and disturbance at their breeding sites. We should feel honored to have them gracing our waterways! On the eighth day of summer nature gave to me eight ants a-milking… Huh? Milking ants? Yep, if you have aphids on your garden plants you too can enjoy watching an amazing show. Aphids are tiny insects that suck the sugar-rich fluids from plants and excrete large quantities

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

On the tenth day of summer, nature gave to me nine mule deer stotting… Boing, boing, boing. The mule deer look like they have springs in their legs as they take off across a meadow. Stotting is done by mule deer and pronghorn, as well a variety of other deer-like animals. To stot, an animal springs in the air, bringing all four feet off the ground at the same time, and lands with all four feet together. Why do they do this? The reason could be different for each species, but some researchers suggest it is a signal to predators that “I am in good health and not worth chasing”. Other biologists speculate stotting is a strategy for warning young and others in the herd of danger. Or maybe it is just an easy and effective way to travel over rough ground. On the eleventh day of spring, nature gave to me eleven striped chorus frogs piping?... It starts some time in mid to late May, the high pitched “cree-ee-ee-ee-eeK’ of the male striped chorus frog looking for love. These small green and brown striped/spotted frogs congregate in standing water in spring for breeding and egg laying. The females lay clusters of around 450 eggs that will hatch into tadpoles and metamorphose into adults during July and August. Interestingly, eggs laid at our higher elevations are darker and larger than those at lower elevations. On the twelfth day of spring, nature gave to me twelve hairy woodpeckers a-drumming…. The sun has yet to rise this spring morning and the banging begins. Rat a tat tat tat a tat. And good morning to you, hairy woodpecker, on my neighbor’s metal chimney. Wow is that loud! Isn’t that the point, though? This dude wants all the females for miles around to know he is here, and all the males to know he is a formidable foe. The drumming, done mostly in spring, is different than drilling which is chipping out pieces of wood to find food or create nesting and roosting sites. Hope you enjoyed singing the nature holiday song! Happy holidays to everyone in 2016, many beautiful winter excursions and explorations. We will see you on the trails!


Valley Voice

December 2016

Economics Common Sense of Our Dollars and Cents

5

Lisa Williams in Perth, Australia Photo by Paul Williams

The Gentrification of Steamboat Springs By Scott L. Ford

I consider myself a blessed and fortunate man that I have gotten to live in Steamboat Springs for the past 25 years. I have lived in Steamboat longer than any other place in my life, and really cannot imagine living anywhere else. (Although getting to some place warmer for the month of February sounds better every year as I grow older.) What will Steamboat Springs look like 25 years from now? I am putting my analytic skills to use to answer this question. In the last issue of the Valley Voice, I described that one of the community characteristics that is emerging is that we are drifting older. The median age has gone from 35 to 40 over the past 14 years. The nation is getting older – but Steamboat is getting older at a faster pace. One consequence of this trend is that children make up a smaller portion of the population. There are still a lot of kids in Steamboat – but as a percentage of the total population, the number is smaller. I am confident that Steamboat will remain a gregarious lot. However, as we age, the conversations between residents will shift from talking about epic powder days or days on the river, to aches and pains likely associated with those activities. Another facet of community character is how income is distributed. Putting aside the social/political components of income inequity, it is relatively easy to measure this income characteristic using the GINI Index. The GINI Index is a measurement of annual income distribution of households in a defined geographic area. This index number ranges between 0 and 1 and is based on residents’ annual income. The GINI Index calculation helps define the gap between the rich and the poor, with 0 representing perfect equality and 1 representing perfect inequality. An index number of ZERO would mean that all the households in the area would have equal shares of the total income. An index number of 1 would mean that only one household would have all the income. In the context of the real world and the GINI Index, zeros and 1 don’t exist. However, in the context of geographically defined communities in Routt County we see the following:

Routt County GINI Index 2010 to 2014 by Major CCD Year 2010 2014

Hayden, CCD Oak Creek, CCD Steamboat, CCD 0.343 0.320 0.404 0.379 0.412 0.468

Census County Division (CCD) is a subdivision of a county that is a relatively permanent statistical area established cooperatively by the Census Bureau and state and local government authorities. In Routt County the CCDs approximate the three school district boundaries. All the CCDs in the county have increased over the past five years. Steamboat experienced an increase in the GINI Index of 64 basis points. Oak Creek had an increase of 92 basis points. Although Oak Creek’s increase is larger, the number of households in Oak Creek is relatively small compared to Steamboat. Oak Creek has 1,384 households compared to Steamboat at 6,867. In Steamboat because of the larger number of households the magnitude of the change is larger. The value of the GINI Index is that it provides a statistical measurement of one aspect of a community’s gentrification. One of the common community values of Steamboat I have heard expressed over the past 25 years is that the residents do not want to become like Aspen, Telluride, or Vail. GINI Index 2010 to 2014 of Comparable Ski Resort Towns Year 2010 2014

Aspen, CCD 0.632 0.567

Telluride, CCD 0.453 0.522

Town of Vail 0.608 0.532

At present, Steamboat is not like these comparable ski resort towns, but there is evidence that it is trending in that direction.

Next Issue: Shares of aggregate household income by quintile

Have a Safe Winter! Don’t Drink and Drive!

www.grandfutures.org

All holidays can be good times. -John Clayton


6

December 2016

Valley Voice

Happy Holidays from Paws and Claws!

In Central Park Plaza

879-6092

Open late for New Year’s Eve.! Torch Light Parade!

Breakfast: 8 am - 11 am Lunch: 11 am - 6 pm Happy Hour: 3 pm - 6 pm

$4.00 house Bloody Marys from 8 am - 11 am (if the mid-mountain 5 am report says 6 inches or more)!

Bonnifield Files

Christmas When They Were Young By Ellen & Paul Bonnifield

Peter (Mike) Yurich recalled the Croatian coal miners’ Christmas in Oak Creek. His parents’ home was the center for the annual celebration. Single miners often stayed with the Yurichs to celebrate Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, Saint Steve’s Day, Saint John’s Day, New Years Eve/Day and January 6. As miners entered the house, Momma met them with a special saying for each day and a glass of whiskey. Married miners and their families also joined in. The holidays were filled with singing and dancing. The horn of plenty was always overflowing with traditional foods. Single men gave the Yurich children $5 or more as presents. It was accompanied with a display of boasting by the children as they competed to get the most money. Soon all the money found its way into Momma’s hands. Years later, Mike realized they intended the money to pay for all the drink and food and not embarrass his parents. On Christmas Day, a family in the lower camp at Pinnacle (White City) started by visiting a neighbor’s house. That family joined them. Moving along, each family joined in until they arrived at Martin Schuner’s house in upper Pinnacle. Then everyone happily proceeded a few miles to Petranovich’s ranch where more song and laughter filled the rooms. Kuma (Godmother) Petranovich had a beautiful singing voice and young male voices joined in – often part-singing. On cold, clear nights with the stars looking down, canyon walls echoed. The sound was extra special. When Steve and Anna Yurich sang “Silent Night” in Croatian, the revelry stopped as each person in their own way found that special place and memory of the old country. The large Greek community gathered at the Callas family home where they ate, drank and danced until morning. Following the old Greek custom, each child was given a silver dollar on Christmas and New Years. Oak Creek was a town of many nationalities. For a few years, the school’s Christmas program included children and parents singing traditional songs in various languages. Songs in German, French, Italian, English, Spanish, Eastern European, and Greek created a truly multi-cultural celebration. Until the United Mine Workers union was recognized, coal miners were among the most exploited workers in America. Although the men were working, there was never enough money. Mama Louie Medvsk realized that some children had never tasted an orange and others only once a year. Each year she purchased oranges and made Christmas tree decorations by looping a string through the center of the fruit. Children received an orange to decorate their tree and eat after Christmas. As an adult with a home and children, Mike Yurich made a large orange Christmas decoration and hung it in honor of Mama Medvsk.

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

Christmas trees came in many sizes and decorations. The town of Oak Creek placed a huge tree in the center of the main intersection. All the children and parents from the community and the four company towns circled the tree on Christmas Eve. Following a period of singing and merriment, Santa in a sleigh pulled by a team of horses with harness bells ringing, hurried down Shotgun Hill. Each child received a bag with an orange, an apple and nuts. They also received a gift. Often this was the only gift they received for Christmas. Commonly, families in South Routt placed homemade decorations on their trees. Old timers remember the highlight of the season was the family working together making ornaments and chains. Long strings with popcorn and cranberries circled the tree. Later, these hung outside to feed the birds. Construction paper strips looped together made colorful chains. Often trees were lit with real candles. Alice Johns Iacovetto recalled her excitement when Mother ordered the candles. Alice looked forward to their arrival in the mail. The aroma even in an unopened box announced the glories of the coming holiday. Christmas Eve, the family sat around the tree reading, singing, and telling stories as the candle light danced and filled the room with sweet smells. Alice was also fond of her mother’s pumpkin pies. Hers were like no other. Years later, Alice’s mother shared her secret – she used carrots. In the isolated rural school districts, when cars were put on blocks during the winter because roads were not plowed, the highlight of the season was the school program. Every person interviewed for this article got a gentle warm smile as they remembered the night when the scholars recited their lines and sang Christmas carols. The eons have never tarnished the memory. The Carl Nelson family lived well up Green Ridge between Yampa and Phippsburg. They didn’t exchange many gifts. Carl was a devout Christian and allowed only a few gifts. He would not give the special day of Christ’s birth to Santa Claus. One Christmas, June was sent to the barn to see what was there. She found a handmade stick horse. She started grade school in Phippsburg, and the Christmas program was drawing near. Her shoes were terribly worn out, and she dreaded standing in front of everyone in those old shoes. New ones were ordered from Montgomery Ward’s, but they were slow on arriving. Two days before the program, the shoes arrived, and June proudly recited before the entire town. Verna Decker Whaley recalled the Christmas program at Toponas. After she got older, but was still in grade school, her dad, Ivan, played Santa, and she got to


Valley Voice

December 2016

7

Muddy Pass Chronicles

The Morning After By Eric Kemper

voice and prominent leader with a legion at his disposal.

help him get dressed. Knowing the truth of Santa, she enjoyed watching her dad and the smaller children earnestly discuss Christmas. Looking at the size of Toponas today, it is hard to visualize a community large enough for carolers. Every year Ivan drove a good team and sledge filled with loose hay into town. The singers snuggled deeply down in the warm hay and off they went. Hearing the approaching harness bells, the residents, expecting the visitors, stepped outside and listened. Caroling was common in all the towns. Teams, sledges and singers traveled up and down the streets.

Optimism still needs to live. It’s too easy to slip into darkness, and the thoughts that dwell there are too much to embrace.

“The one thing this election proves is that if there’s anything the American people are, more than just dumb and mean, it’s deathly afraid of real change.” This is not the kind of thinking we can allow ourselves. These are our countrymen. Our neighbors. Our friends. They are, as Bob Dole famously said, our opponents but not our enemies.

Verna cherished the homemade doll she received each Christmas. One year, her brother Clint made a 12inch cradle and her mother sewed a doll with a pillow. Throughout the years, she has kept and cherished those dolls. Pat Strutzel Woodcock spent her first six years in a logging/sawmill camp high on King Mountain. Her dad owned the mill and employed several men – both single and married. Pat’s mother cooked for the bachelors, and everyone sat at the family table. Her mother, Lucille, had to cook and take care of the baby; nonetheless Christmas dinner was a special meal, and Pat got a doll. The large interrelated ranch families on Trout Creek celebrated Christmas together. They often traveled from one house to another, but the kids did not get any presents until mid-January. The ranchers shipped their calves planning to catch the Stock Show market. They hoped it would bring better prices than the fall market. After selling the cattle, the adults went to the goodwill store and purchased gifts. Louise Morey Iacovetto was always tickled to get a new dress. It was a hand-me-down from an older cousin, but new for Louise. Sometimes she got two dresses – one for special occasions. She also remembers her mother’s cream pies with the meringue standing so tall. Christmas back when they were young planted the seeds of memory that time cannot tarnish.

I wake up this morning as a white man who owns property in Donald Trump’s America. So I guess...Happy Days are here again? The shock and horror are still working their way through the system. I couldn’t eat, drink or sleep last night. Dis-ease started around 8 o’clock and the fever spread quickly. The writing was clearly on the wall by 9. I called some friends and family to try to process what was happening. I had to talk to people I knew, loved and trusted just to reassure myself that there was still something sane in the world.

So here we are. President Donald Trump. Maybe he won’t be the man he demonstrated himself to be. Perhaps the spotlight glare of the world stage will reveal a heretofore unseen nobleness of character. Maybe the hollow promises of his former failed businesses were the preparation he needed for a far greater venture. We wait and we watch. I happen to believe that when someone tells you who they are, you should believe them, but in this case I will attempt to keep an open mind and heart. President Trump, the world is watching.

Have we really done this? A cunning charlatan who has been faithless in business and family is now the chief American. The face of the world’s greatest nation is orange, bloated, and spent years perniciously spreading the most vicious racial lie of the post-Civil-Rights era. Frank Zappa said nearly 50 years ago “I’m not black, but there’s a whole lotta times I wish I could say I’m not white.” I know how he feels this morning. He also said, “There’s no way to delay that trouble comin’ everyday.” I see some bright spots in this. The potential for overreach is strong. Trump, in spite of his victory, lost the popular vote. This makes 6 of the last 7 Presidential elections lost by the Republican party. Gerrymandering and vote suppression have given the GOP full control of congress, though thankfully not a filibuster-proof Senate. The party has their hands on the controls, but the people aren’t necessarily with them. If the party moves too far from the people, as we have seen twice now in the past decade, the backlash will be swift and strong. I still see Barack Obama as the one of the grownups in the room. Like Obi-Wan Kenobi, reminding America, “If you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.” Without the constraints of office, Obama may be free to actually lead the revolution he has been hoping to create. He leaves the White House with high approval ratings and many citizens still receptive to his message. He will take the high road, at first. But should things become untenable, the former community organizer will be a powerful

No more frozen dirt, Little Shop has heated storage! 2560 Copper Ridge Drive, Steamboat Springs, Colorado (970) 879-8577

I celebrate everyone’s religious holidays. if it’s good enough for the righteous, it’s good enough for the self-righteous, I always say. -Bette Midler


8

December 2016

Valley Voice

Charity Corner

A

Give Where You Live

G G

By Dan Hughes

“GIVE WHERE YOU LIVE” is the motivation behind Yampa Valley Gives, a local organization created to benefit the nonprofit and charitable organizations of Routt and Moffat Counties. Yampa Valley Gives was formed in 2014 as a class project of Leadership Steamboat, a program sponsored by the Steamboat Springs Chamber Resort Association and the Colorado Mountain College aimed at developing business and community members. The Leadership Steamboat class wanted its project to focus on local philanthropy by promoting regional nonprofits, serving as a tool for collaboration between the nonprofits, and through fostering charitable donations by taking advantage of the ease of online giving. A class with lofty goals, the Leadership Steamboat class intended to create a program that would catalyze meaningful and long lasting benefit to the many amazing nonprofits that call the Yampa Valley home.

After researching a variety of programs, the class formed Yampa Valley Gives under the umbrella of the Yampa Valley Community Foundation. Yampa Valley Gives partners with Colorado Gives Day, an annual statewide movement to celebrate and increase philanthropy through online giving on a single day in December. Since its inception six years ago in 2010, Colorado Gives Day has raised over $150 million for Colorado nes

nonprofits statewide. Yampa Valley Gives serves as the Yampa Valley’s “Regional Champion” to connect donors with participating local nonprofits through its secure website. In its three short years of existence, Yampa Valley Gives has facilitated donations of more than $900,000 to local nonprofits on Colorado Gives Day. In 2015, some 60 Routt and Moffat County participating nonprofits and fundraising organizations participated in Yampa Valley Gives and received online donations on Colorado Gives Day. Yampa Valley Gives expects that number to grow this year. Participating organizations include everything from animal-related causes, arts organizations and human services, to mental health, crisis intervention organizations, and more. Donations received by the organizations are critical to their operations. For example, the Steamboat Springs Arts Council received more than $20,000 during the 24-hour giving period in 2015. Steamboat’s Family Development Center took in over $76,000, impacting more than 400 families with young children in Routt County. This year, Colorado Gives Day will take place on December 6, 2016. Did you know that when you normally make an online donation, the credit card fees are taken out of your donation? On Colorado Gives Day, Yampa

Your Place for all your Holiday Spirits

Valley Gives covers all credit card fees so that 100% of your donation goes directly to your nonprofits of choice. Your donation was intended to support your favorite charity, not support your least favorite bank! Yampa Valley Gives – in partnership with local sponsors – has worked to eliminate these pesky credit card fees if you give on December 6th. Are you a nonprofit looking for an online, secure platform for receiving donations on Colorado Gives Day and throughout the year? Nonprofit profile pages provide comprehensive, objective, and up-to-date information about each organization in a form that is attractive to donors. Are you a donor looking for a cause to support financially, and an easy way to make a donation? Donations go directly to the organizations of your choice (no funds are received by Yampa Valley Gives) and are tax deductible. Are you a business sponsor willing to make a difference in the Yampa Valley? Yampa Valley Gives can use your help! For more information on Yampa Valley Gives and its participating organizations, go to www.YampaValle Gives.org. For sponsorship information, or general information, contact the Yampa Valley Gives board at info@yvgives.org.

New TURBO INTERNET PLANS From ZIRKEL Wireless

970-871-8500 www.zirkelwireless.com Getting the shot no matter what is coming....

Unbelievable Selection. Unbelievable Specials!

Over 200 Beers Over 700 wines Over 200 Liquors On sale every day!

Come in and SAVE! Unbelievable Selection. Unbelievable Specials!For special offers, like us on Facebook!

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

Open: Mon - Sat: 9am -11pm Sunday: 10:30am -7pm Located next to City Market in Central Park Plaza, Steamboat Springs.

www.cplsteamboat.com

kpaproductions.com 970.734.4321

B


Valley Voice

9

December 2016

Art in the ‘Boat

Go Figure!?

By Dagny McKinley

Economy You May Not Know

Give the Greatest Fun Facts About the Steamboat Springs Gift of All: Art The gift of art is one of the best ways to give a gift that has the ability to inspire, to evoke joy and peace, and to be a reminder of the person who gave the gift. This year there are two exciting opportunities to buy art from local artists as gifts for your loved ones. Many of the items are priced affordably in order to be accessible to the entire community, no matter your budget. The annual ‘Holidays in the Rockies: Artisan Market’ features handcrafted gifts, apparel, delicacies, crafts and more. The ‘Gift’ exhibit runs throughout the month of December at the Art Depot and offers up fine art from local artists that span the mediums of clay, glassworks, watercolor paintings, photography and more. Both events serve as fundraisers for the Steamboat Springs Arts Council so they can continue to offer a varity of programs, workshops, and opportunities for artists, community members and anyone interested in the arts. ‘Holidays in the Rockies’ is the perfect place to get a jump start on your holiday shopping. The variety of gifts is always astounding as is the quality of the offerings. Over fifty vendors will be displaying their art in all forms. Many artists will be returning, as well as artists displaying their works for the first time. This is a great event for the whole family. One of the highlights is the opportunity to have photos taken with Santa Claus between 10 a.m. and 2 p.m. Santa’s joy is bound to put everyone in the holiday spirit. Treats and refreshments will also be available. Mark your calendars for December 3rd from 9:00 a.m. - 3:00 p.m at Strawberry Park Elementary School at 39620 Amethyst Street. The other exciting opportunity to purchase unique presents is at the ‘Gift’ show at the Steamboat Springs Art Depot. ‘Gift’ was one of last year’s most popular shows because it offers locally made fine art in a variety of price ranges. Each artist donates a handmade ornament for sale in order to help raise money for the Steamboat Springs Arts Council. The ornaments are as individual as the amazing artists of this community. Along with the ornaments, original artwork will fill the Depot. The artwork tends to be some of the most affordable exhibited during the year with the aim of making art attainable for every person in Steamboat Springs. Handmade cards, jewelry and photography are a great way to support local artists and give a gift that will last a lifetime. The gift exhibit opens Friday, December 2nd as part of the First Friday Artwalk. The Artwalk runs from 5:00 - 8:00 p.m. The exhibit will continue to run through the month of December during business hours Monday through Friday and weekends 11 a.m. - 3 p.m. What better way to get in the holiday spirit than to connect with the community and local artists at ‘Holidays in the Rockies’ and the ‘Gift’ Exhibit? We can’t wait to see you there.

By Scott L. Ford

The population of a community grows or shrinks for only two reasons: More people are born than die. And/or More people move in than out. Since 1985, about 60% of the population growth of Routt County has been a result of more folks moving in than moved out. The US Census measures the geographic mobility of the local population from one year to the next. In 2014, about 16% of the population age 25 and older, or 1,912 individuals, moved from one location to another. The majority of this moving from one place to another took place within Routt County. In 2014 60% of those that moved relocated to somewhere within Routt County. This could have been a move across the street or a move from Steamboat to Hayden. Of those who moved into the Steamboat area from outside of the area in 2014, about 70% moved from somewhere within the state of Colorado, 23% moved from another state, and 8% moved from somewhere abroad. The median age of those moving into the Steamboat area from somewhere else was as follows: Median age of those that Moved to the Steamboat Springs Area • Moved from somewhere within CO • Moved from another State • Moved from abroad

2010 23.8 21.4 33.2

[

Open Enrollment:

]

Application Assistance

Interpretación espanol GRATUTIA

You may qualify for FREE or LOW-COST health insurance! All sessions held at Yampa Valley Medical Center

[ Open Enrollment Wednesdays EVERY Wednesday

November 2nd - January 31st 5:30-7pm • December 7th, 5:30-7pm • December 14th, 5:30-7pm • December 21st, 5:30-7pm • December 28th, 5:30-7pm Dec.15th is Deadline to Enroll for January 1st Insurance Start Date. Jan.15th is Deadline to Enroll for February 1st Insurance Start Date.

2014 27.9 22.3 21.9

Accidents happen. Get covered.

[ Please Bring:

Go Figure? is sponsored by Rocky Mountain Remedies Proudly supporting alternative modalities in medicine and media.

Your own laptop. We have limited computers. Household income estimate for 2017, Identification and/or Social Security Number for each family member, and current insurance policy information. Unable to attend? Call 970.879.1322 for an appointment 1024 Central Park Drive • 970.879.1322 • yvmc.org

Holidays in general breed unrealistic expectations. The minute you start wondering, ‘is it going to be wonderful enough?,’ it never will be. -Pepper Schwartz


10

December 2016

Valley Voice

The Wandering Rose

Eat Sh#t: A Thanksgiving Tale Jessie ate sh#t again. This was the fourth time in a week. She just couldn’t get enough of the taste of excrement. She would even forsake her favorite New Zealand elk jerky for just a mouthful of human feces. Watching Jessie eat sh#t made Audrey Rose wonder what the hell was going on in the world. After all, this was Steamboat Springs, the place people came because the landscape, the community and the atmosphere was so magical, yet here were those same people sh#tting on the exact same community, land and atmosphere they claimed to love so much. All Audrey Rose could think was it was the bikers and the hikers, who much like dogs, got so excited when they got to get out for a ride or a run or a walk, their digestive systems couldn’t take the excitement so they had to poop. Instead of carrying a shovel or hiking far off they trail they figured about twenty feet off the trail would suffice, with no burial. As a result, every hungry dog that came by got to eat all the sh#t they could wish for and return to their owners only too happy to plant a sh#t-filled kiss on their faces.

The complexities of abuse were something Audrey Rose had only read about. She decided to try being abused to see what would happen. She figured she was a smart, self-taught woman, she could handle whatever anyone threw at her without losing herself. So she went to her favorite bar, got sh#tfaced drunk and picked up the best looking, cockiest, most insecure guy she could find. It wasn’t difficult to find an abusive man. There were a surprising amount of them. True to form, he quickly invited Audrey Rose to move in with him and she did. The first sign of trouble came when they went to dinner and he commented, “That waitress is hot. She has a great ass. If you worked out more you’d probably have as an ass that great, too.” Now Audrey Rose knew she had a great, tight ass. Her body was all muscle. Billy was the one who had a flabby ass so she laughed it off… but somewhere inside, a teeny, tiny little voice said, “Maybe your ass isn’t that great.” There were other comments that followed, like had she ever considered implants or dying her hair red? Harmless comments, really. Audrey Rose asked him to stop. Told him she thought those comments were hurtful. At first he said he would, but soon he just laughed at her and said things like, “What are you going to do, cry?” And “If you aren’t happy, why don’t you find someone else to live with? Oh, yeah, that’s right, no one else would take you. You’re too much of a pain in the ass.” He insulted everyone he could think of except other white men. These were not people, they were sp#cs, n#ggers, fat pigs, whores. Why was Audrey surprised when the insults were directed at her? Why did she want to believe him when he said they would have the perfect life together and choose not to believe him when he threatened to kill himself or her if she left?

Steamboat wasn’t the only place being sh#t on. The presidential election was filled with Trump sh#tting on women, Muslims, Mexicans, the disabled and pretty much anyone who didn’t agree with him. Yet people voted for him. Educated people, women, Mexicans, she wasn’t sure about Muslims, but all these people voted for the same man who told them they had no worth. This was one of the most perfect examples of abuse Audrey Rose had encountered in her life. Was the culture of abuse so rampant in the U.S. and people’s self esteem and expectations so low, they somehow thought Trump really and truly cared for them, loved them and would save them?

She couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment it happened, but she started feeling distanced from the person she had always been. She didn’t feel quite as confident as she used to. When she went out, she found she wanted to avoid her friends. She didn’t know who to talk to about how she was feeling. She started striking up conversations with new women (definitely not men because Billy wouldn’t like that and when Billy got mad, the little girl inside of Audrey Rose curled up in a tiny ball). The women she talked to had similar relationships. It was strange how Audrey was attracting this new type of person into her life. She started sur-

e lCOMFORTl BOOT-FITTING

Makes a3 great gift for ALL!

e

EST.

K

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

I SHO

35 11TH ST #130 (11TH & YAMPA ST.)

(970) 879-4SKI | ONESTOPSKISHOP.COM

4

She hadn’t been with Billy for more than six months when the physical abuse began. She couldn’t remember what set him off. He had been drinking, he was in a bad mood and had been fired from his job for showing up late again. He told her she would have to pay the bills that month. When she told him she had no money, he slapped her. Audrey Rose held her hand to her face, felt the blood so hot where his fingers had been, felt shame rush through her. That was the part she didn’t understand. Why did she feel ashamed? She found herself making excuses for him, telling herself she had provoked him and he had been drinking. She thought about leaving, but only briefly because she thought if she loved him more, was kinder to him, maybe she could heal his deep hurts. The next day he brought her flowers and a diamond pendant necklace. He told her it would never happen again. She found herself relaxing into his arms that night, craving the warmth of his body, the feeling of taking his anger and his confusion inside of her. She forgave him. When he came home at night she had dinner ready for him, cleaned the house, gave him nothing to be upset about he still found reasons. It wasn’t long before he pushed her down and shoved her face into the floor. The carpet burned against her cheek. Tiny droplets of blood appeared on her face. He forced himself inside of her, told her she shouldn’t make him do things like this to her. Being a woman, Audrey Rose took out her pain, her confusion and her hurt on herself. She stopped going for walks. She didn’t care if she saw the sun set or the moon rise. She felt apart from the world she had once loved. The only comfort she found was deep under the covers curled up at the bottom of the bed. Once Billy found her there at noon and dragged her out by her hair telling her she was useless. Audrey Rose stopped leaving the house altogether. She stopped eating. She was afraid someone might see her, see the changes in her and blame her for them, feel pity for her. She only felt safe with Billy, but he was the one destroying her. Late one night he came home after partying all night with another woman’s perfume wrapped around him. He took out her suitcase - the one that held a bird’s nest, a ring from her grandmother, postcards her father had once sent her. He smashed the bird’s nest, flushed her ring down the toilet and burned the postcards. He made her watch as he destroyed every last thing that was precious to her. Then he passed out.

0

Boot-fit Service included with purchase of any boot P

(970) 879.6587 | info@SteamboatSpecialties.com | 35 11th St. #120 www.SteamboatSpecialties.com | @SteamboatSpecialties

3H S

L Cool Gifts O C JKM A L

rounding herself with women who were also in abusive relationships. Some of the women were physically abused, but so many more were verbally abused. These were not weak women. Some of them were heads of companies, therapists, women you would want to look up to, but deep down in every single one of them there was an insecurity that they weren’t good enough, that they didn’t deserve better of the men they were with. They made excuses for their boyfriends and husbands, saying “boys will be boys,” or, “He loves you enough to show you his true self.” At least there was company for her misery.

Audrey Rose nudged him with her toe. He would be out


Valley Voice

December 2016

Mister Helpful’s Dating Guide

Personal Care Hygene

for at least ten hours. She took off her clothes, leaned down, kissed him on the cheek and walked out the door. The cold air hit her hard in the face. She wanted to run back inside to where it was warm. She took a deep breath to settle her nerves. That breath worked its way into her blood. There was no moon only millions and billions of stars. She felt the snow melting under her feet. Deep inside she felt the little girl that lived within, the girl that had been quiet for the last six months finally smile. Audrey Rose took one step away from Billy’s house and then another. With each step she felt surer of herself. A star shot across the sky. The wind started to pick up but Audrey couldn’t feel the cold, she only felt life. The life that was hers. A life she had once been excited to wake up to, a life that had once held possibility. A life filled with dreams and joy and beauty. A life that had been waiting outside the door all this time. Audrey Rose began running, then leaping, then skipping. The farther away from Billy she got, the happier she became. Within an hour the snows came, large flakes falling at first, then the small flakes that signaled a long night of snow. When she finally arrived at her cave, the one place she had never shared with Billy, nothing had changed. Her furs were there to welcome her and warm her. Her memories lined the walls and her dreams were strewn every direction she looked. She knew Billy would look for her but he wouldn’t be able to find her. The snow covered the ground, covered people’s sh#t, covered the disregard for people and places that had become the norm in the world. When Audrey Rose finally woke from the first peaceful sleep she had since she met Billy, she looked at the markings on the wall. Today was Thanksgiving. She dug her way out of her cave. The sun was just rising, casting diamonds across the snow. Feathers of hoarfrost clung to branches and tall, golden grasses. Audrey Rose picked up a handful of snow and blew it into the air watching the crystals catch on a soft breeze and fly. She lay down and made a snow angel. As the sun rose, she climbed a tree looking out over the mountains surrounding her and gave thanks that she was alive. She gave thanks that she could still feel happiness and awe. She gave thanks because she finally understood how precious her life was, how sacred her time and her love were. Out here, away from people, she remembered that she was a perfect human being that deserved to be treated with respect, with love and with grace and that every being around her deserved that, too. Anyone who didn’t believe her, anyone who settled for less, anyone who treated people badly, or made excuses for those who treated people badly were most likely suffering their own hell. She never spoke to Billy again. There was no use trying to change him. Instead she visited kindergaten classrooms and senior centers, sharing stories that let them know how valuable, how precious, how perfect each one of them was. She asked them to identify one part of their physical bodies they liked. She asked them to remember one good thing they had done. She asked them to smile. She hoped that maybe, just maybe, one of the people she talked to would realize they were perfect, they were beautiful and they deserved the best the world had to offer.

11

It’s all about your Happiness

By Mr. Helpful, M.D. Personal Care:

We all enjoy a “certain lifestyle”. Living our day to day lives in a manner that we have grown accustomed to over the years. Examples would be western flair, tight fitting clothing, biker look, or other cultural habits and clothing that express our current choices and/or moods. We keep it up for years because it works for us and attracts the type of person we want to date or have as friends. But I ask you, are you tired of your same old look? Want to change it up and try something new? Have these choices gotten you the types of dates you wanted? Go for it. It’s all about your happiness. Clothes and hairstyles can express who we think we are, how we want to world to see us and/or that we do not care at all about such topics. Our bodies however will always tell the truth about what we do and have been doing. The body never lies. Our fabulous human body is the only thing that will be with us our entire life. So get to know it, understand what makes it work better. And for sure it works better when we eat real food, move around enough throughout the day and sleep when it’s time to sleep. To me – the number one reason to get into better shape, be in good or great shape or make any attempt to get into a healthier body is to have really great sex for as long as you can for the rest of your life with someone who loves you for who you are to them. Oh sure, living life in a healthier body is easier, more fun and just overall better. But so what. The greater joy of intimacy with someone who desires us on the foundation of love and passion over years is a thing that makes life worth living. Have the body you want to have so that your partner craves you for BOTH the gift inside and the wrapping it comes in. MOREOVER – Love yourself for who and what you are in this very moment. Because this is who you really are and changing it for the better is crazy hard to do. So accept yourself first and foremost. Then whomever loves you will be loving the perfect you; the you who loves themself.

when we are about to meet someone we might like to see naked and hopefully he or she feels the same about us. Wash your hands. Wouldn’t you love to have your hands all over your Date? (With their permission of course) Yuppers, then make sure yours are clean hands and then they might get to move around that body over there you desire so much. Cut or trim the fingernails. Also keep them clean – on top and underneath. Ya never know where they might end up and not having clean hands could be a deal breaking red flag to an adventurous date. Cut or trim the toenails. Ever been cut by a toenail in the heat of passion? Two words here gang = Mood Killer. Nobody wants to be bleed from a foot or leg while trying to enjoy super happy naked fun time hour. Trim yer damn toenails. In truth, I wrote all that so I could get to this part and share with you a very important insight to dating. Nose Hair (or NH) is a very distracting thing to see on a date. It creates a disgusting feeling in us when we are forced to look at it when our date is talking. No one wins when long nose hairs come to the party. There are some folks who are on the varsity team of personal manicuring in this area. A woman I know told me that she will do a wax job on herself when need be. Much like waxing her legs, she puts a little up there and RIP. All clean. Not sure that is the best idea, but an idea nonetheless. After all, we have N.H. for lots of reasons. Good reasons such as being the first line of defense for our lungs from germs, dust, pathogens, other people’s fingers, etc. It really is there for a purpose. Aiding in the overall airways system of filters and such. Would you want your buggers just falling out whenever you moved your head? Of course not. Nose Hairs hold onto those suckers until a tissue can be located for external storage.

Nice twist there huh? For a dating column to throw in the duality of real life and basic higher principles as well. Yeah, I know right. Pardon me while I go to the hospital. I sprained my arm patting myself on the back.

At home, I take scissors and trim a bit. On my way to a date, I will do some last minute inspection and plucking in the car to make sure I’m not sporting a forest for the public to admire. Yes my friends, Nose Hair, clean it up and live a happier life! You can do it. I believe in you.

Hygiene:

Happy New Year to all our readers

Younger bodies are perfect and have little cleaning and maintenance problems. Like a new car, just change the oil every so many miles and clean out the empty soda cans. Older bodies have different issues to deal with in the arena of hygiene. In the “Human Beings are all mostly the same” line of thinking, here are some basic considerations.

Find Mister Helpful’s Dating Guide on Facebook, hit the LIKE button and read the expanded versions of this column and others.

So let’s say that there are aspects of “keeping things clean and under control” that need to be addressed. Especially

Next month – How to pick a date in turbulent political times. – When to mention you party affiliation in an evening of BDSM and get the clamps twisted harder.

Holidays are about experiences and people, and tuning into what you feel like doing at that moment. Enjoy not having to look at a watch. -Evelyn Glennie


12

December 2016

Valley Voice

Routt County Disasters

Left Behind By Lyn Wheaton Oct. 21, 2016 Dear Diary, Now that I’m tucked away in my bunker, I can safely say -- DON’T PANIC! As I eagerly await the pandemonium, I decided to steal a few minutes to jot down what is certain to be my last entry, at least for a while. If all goes as predicted, I expect I will be preoccupied with my survival. I have taken great care to be very well-prepared. I am feeling confident about my transition. The guns are loaded and the heavy artillery stands at the ready. All is secure in my fully-renovated bunker, circa Y2K. It is stocked to the hilt; I am prepared to live for many decades in the Post Apocalyptic landscape that lies ahead. As I wait for the chaos to ensue, I am comforted by the Gospel music on the local radio station. “Swing low, sweet chariot, coming for to carry me home.” That’s right, I’m a’comin’ home. For this, I am thankful. Whether I survive or not, I will definitely need the assistance of the Big Guy upstairs. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t still a little surprised that I didn’t get Raptured. I guess, Dear Diary, that is the way the old cookie crumbles. I’m still confused though, the three guys I entrusted all my money and secure documents to, on that inter-web there, I guess they got Raptured because I never heard from them again. That’s exactly how they said it would go down. They told me I should make them fiduciaries of all my sensitive documents and financial information so that in the event of my Rapture, my beneficiaries would regain access to my fortune, through them. They also said if after the Rapture, we did not hear from one or more of them, we’d know, they had been Raptured. Praise Be! My only question, Dear Diary, is… how much holier than thou were they? What did I do wrong? Is there a chance I won’t make it through the Pearly Gates, if something goes awry this time around? That is why, Dear Diary, Dear Lord, I am doing all I can to protect this world from the devils that walk among us and dear Lord you know there are many: First and foremost the head Demon herself, and then of course all those Muslims and Mexicans. Donald Trump is a good man and he will save us. Between you and me, Dear Diary, I would’ve fondled those women too. I sure hope he gets elected. As evening sets in, all remains calm. I know this won’t last. I’ll be right back Diary; I am going to pour myself a couple of fingers of Jack. Aaahhh -- the pause that refreshes. This is most definitely the calm before the final storm. The storm of the Lord in all his Glory! I’ll drink to that, (hold on)… OK -- where was I? Oh! The Devils. Oh yeah, they’re comin’. Have I seen the signs? Oh yes, I have seen the signs. It’s a fait accompli. I become so eloquent when I partake in the drink. Another shot Tarbender, please! Oops! I almost dropped the bottle. My palms are schwetty; I can barely contain the excitement I feel, as I watch the end of the world countdown. I love the Discovery and History channels! They never lie to me because they are

documentaries. People like me, who watch documentaries, are smart. That’s how come I know this upcoming election is a battle of good and evil, meant to bring about the second coming. I know that Donald Trump is the catalyst. I heard some of those Kumbaya libtards talking in the liquor store the other day about Donald Trump, they call him the Orange Cheeto-Blasphemy! They will pay for talking up the Lord’s disciple in vain. Them stupid Killery lovers was sayin’ that Donald Trump will expose the shadow. I didn’t really understand it much, but GODDAMN right he will. He is a righteous man. I don’t want no career politicians running things anymore. What is there to know? I ask you, Dear Diary? What is there to know? All you need to know to be President is how to load up a bunch of missiles and bomb the H-E- double toothpicks out of those vermin. Excuse me for using your name in vain Dear Lord, I am a tad drunk and a little worked up about my coming salvation. I love my guns. And of course I love you, Dear Jesus. These are the things that make life worth living. I will survive either way. Whether I walk out onto a barren ravished landscape or into your kingdom, Dear Lord, I will be the victor. Praise Be! Still quiet. No sign of any ISIS, Mexicans, or Black people yet. They better not come near this bunker. They will have to tear through many layers of heavy-duty plastic left over from that other scare. If memory serves, it was the Anthrax panic, which prompted the government to instruct us to wrap our houses in plastic. Anyway, if they manage to get through, I have enough firepower to blow them to Kingdom Come!! Diary, as I pour a few more fingers of this fine sour mash, I pity the Government varmint that tries to come take my guns. As you know, the Founding Fathers gave me this right - the right to protect myself from the overzealous government and all the other liberals and nuts who aren’t blessed with the sanity and clear thinking that I possess. Our Founding Fathers had the good sense, like I do, to know that good people should have guns. We have to keep the order.

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

I have stocked enough food, water, and Jack Daniels to last for ten years. I have every type of medicine you could imagine, and an abundant supply of MREs from The Patriot Pantry. I even bought a scooter that runs on kitchen oil, in case I need to make a quick getaway. And, Dear Diary, don’t tell anyone, but I have a secret survival weapon. I have a foodstuff that will never spoil, so I will never starve. I have Twinkies! I hope I make it. I can’t wait to have this planet all to myself. I’m sick of all these people. Well, Dear Diary, the Jack and sedatives are starting to make me weary. The past two years of frenetic planning have taken their toll, what with all the building, stocking up, making lists, and checking them thrice. I think I will sign off now and hope to either go peacefully or wake up to a wasteland, and if battle is to be done, I am ready… February 4, 2017 Dear Diary, I must apologize for not writing sooner. I must have taken too many pills with that fine whiskey and now I find myself in the hospital on life support. Somebody just turned on the TV. Do my God Given ears deceive me? They are saying Donald Trump won the election! Praise Be! Wait a minute Dear Diary -- the hospital social worker is here. I’ll be back. February 15, 2017: Dear Diary, I have nothing good to report. Things are not going the way they were supposed to. I just found out my Medicaid benefits were discontinued and to add insult to my severe injury, I found out that Trump has not built the wall. He has not gotten rid of any gays, blacks, Mexicans, or Muslims. Just what in tarnation is going on? Where is our blessed revolution? What am I supposed to do now? I have relocated, and once again spent all my money preparing for this upcoming crisis. I cannot bear to watch anymore, Dear Diary. There is nothing left to do, Dear Diary, but to pull my own plug and join my Savior. Praise Be! I just have one question before I go, Dear Diary. Why was I always left behind?


Valley A Voice

B

C

D

E

F

G

1

H

13

IDecember 2016J

1

Yampa Valley Regional Airport

Hawthorn e Street

2

2

RCR 37 Crandall Street

RCR 183

Shelton Street

3

3

N. Maple Street

N. Oak Street

eet N. Ash Str

4

4 Routt County Fair Grounds

et e Stre N. Pin

t tree lar S p o S. P

eet r Str opla P . N

Hayden High School

RCR 76

W. Jackson Rd.

N. 2nd St.

N. 3rd St.

RCR 53 Hayden Valley Elementary School S. 3rd St. . Blvd asin ze B Bree

8 N. 4th St.

9

N. 5th St.

6

7

W. Washington Street

ve. ln A inco W. L

7

t ee Str

Hayden Heritage Center Museum

. ut St estn h C . N

lar op S. P

RCR 80

5

. Ave

er Riv

ve. ln A nco E. Li

6

rive wD e i V

. Ave rson effe W. J

et Stre lnut a W N.

on ngt ashi E. W

t Stree ruce N. Sp

5

. Ave son ffer E. Je

Yampa River

Street

Dry Creek Park

n N. Aspe

Map under construction

8

9

Map Disclaimer

N. 6th St. Yampa River

10 A

B

C

© 2014 Valley Voice, LLC. All rights reserved. NOT TO SCALE! No portion of this publication may be reproduced in any manner without the written permission of the publisher. The publisher does not guarantee the accuracy of this map.

10

A good leader -Arnold H.JGlasow D takes a littleEmore than his share F of the blame,Ga little less thanHhis share of the credit. I


December 2016B 14 A

C

D

E

1

F

G

H

I

ValleyJVoice

Buff Pass Fish Creek Res. Fish Creek Falls Ski Time Square

Map under construction

Dry Lake

Spring Creek Fish Creek Falls Rd.

Steamboat Blvd.

Valley Voice, LLC 1125 Lincoln Ave. Unit 2C Steamboat Springs, CO 80487

4

Burgess Creek

Rollingstone Golf Club

Fish Creek

E. Maple Street

3

Map Disclaimer © 2015 Valley Voice, LLC. All rights reserved. NOT TO SCALE! No portion of this publication may be reproduced in any manner without the written permission of the publisher. The publisher does not guarantee the accuracy of this map.

Tamarack Drive

Amethyst Drive

Amethyst Drive

Hill Top Parkway

2

RCR 36

Anglers Drive

2

Memorial Park Fish Creek Falls Rd.

Strawberry Hot Springs

Old Town Hot Springs

Maple Street

Missouri Ave.

5

Lincoln Avenue

3

et l Stre Laure

Yam pa Av e

Oa kS t.

Pin eS t.

Ice Rink

Rodeo

Fun Zone

The Howler

10 11

Lin col nA ven ue

Library

Emerald Mountain Yam pa Riv er

12 12

Steamboat Cemetery

6

9

Crawford Ave. CMC (College)

9

5

7 8

8

Emerald Park Botanic Gardens

The Boulevard

Merrit Street

Pahwintah St.

7

4 Asp en St.

6

Core Trail Weiss Park

Howelsen Hill BMX Track

Ski Jumps

13 Blackmere Drive

Fart Park

10

Depot Art Center

For those A who live hereBand for those who C wish they did. D

E

F

G

H

I

J


Valley Voice K

L

M

N

O

P

Q

R

December 2016 S

Mt. Werner

T15

Rabbit Ears Pass Dumont Lake

Steamboat Gondy

Village Drive

Knowls Mt. Werner Circle Eagle Ridge Dr.

Tennis Bubble

Meadows Parking

Casey’s Pond

Walton Creek

Central Park Drive

Mt. Werner Road

Whistler Road

Catamount

Pine Grove Road

Strings

oad eR v o r eG Pin

131 Haymaker Golf Core Trail

RCR 22

Yampa River

Fetcher Park

Stagecoach Res.

RCR 14

RCR 14f RCR 14

WEST STEAMBOAT SPRINGS

Steamboat Cemetery

13

Animal Shelter Copper Ridge

Elk River Road

129 Downhill Drive

129

Shield Drive

Bob Adams Airport

Yampa River

RCR 33

Steamboat Golf Club

K

L

M

N

O

between P Innovation distinguishes Q R a leader and aSfollower. -Steve Jobs T


16 ADecember 2016B

C

D

E

F

G

H

I

Valley J Voice

4th Street

1

2

3rd Street

Grant Ave.

Wild Hogg Dr.

Lincoln Ave.

1

2nd Street

District 1 Road & Bridge

2 E.1st Street

1st Street

Meyers St. Community Center

RCR 27 Main Street

W. Main Street Post Office

Colfax Street

. rt St Sho

5

Sharp Ave.

Bell Avenue

Ice Rink

Moffat Ave.

Town Hall

Blv d.

W. Oak St.

3

Library

Ma in Str ee t

d Ben low Wil

Carbon Ave.

w Vie nd Gra

4

Senior Living

Cra wf ord

S. Arthur Ave.

Na ncy

RCR 49Z

SR Medical Center

Dodge Ave.

3

SOROCO High School

4

Public Tennis Courts

Decker Park

5

W. William St. Rollestone St.

131 6

RCR 25

A

B

Highland St.

C

D

E

F

G

RCR 14

H

I

J

RCR 8

Clifton Ave.

Tethune Ave.

7

Roselawn Ave.

RCR 17

6

k ree kC Oa

St. inia g r i V W.

7

131

5th Street South Routt Elementary School 4th Street

3rd Street

3rd Street

Maps Disclaimer

9

10

2nd Street

© 2014 Valley Voice, LLC. All rights reserved. NOT TO SCALE! No portion of this publication may be reproduced in any manner without the written permission of the publisher. The publisher does not guarantee the accuracy of this map.

9 1st Street

Maps under construction

131

Moffat Ave.

Valley Voice, LLC 730 Lincoln Ave Steamboat Springs, CO 80487

For those A who live hereBand for those who C wish they did. D

Rich Ave.

RCR 9

8 Lincoln Street

8

10

RCR 7

E

RCR 6d

F

G

H

I

J


Schmac and Cheese

Valley Voice

December 2016

Smoke Signals

821 Lincoln Ave - schmiggitys.com Folk) ericana

ms (Am e Graha h T : 1 / 12 y Funk k Munk n u r D unch 12/2: P nk) ock/Fu (Jam R Rock) eggae R ( b u onfire D 12/3: B ship e Space d a m e w/ Hom kydyed ) S : 8 / 2 1 a ctronic e (Live Ele s tribut - Stone le b m ter Ra hitewa s) 12/9: W n Dance -Gras t M y (Rock re Pink You We h is W : 12/10 ute) loyd trib F s k in P ( zy Nick lz/Stee e e F u r n w/ T SoDow 12/16: k) nic Fun ute) (Electro lime trib b u S ( m Freedo 0 Oz to 4 : 7 1 / 12 arty eater P w S s a gly Xm DraLa U : 4 2 / 2 1 y) ce Part eggae) (DJ Dan tonic (R u c A / ment w e Move h T : 9 2 k) 12/ olk/Roc F lt A ( le & Peop Pandas : 0 3 / 2 1 unk) estra (F u q r o f Eu 12/31:

Night e c n a D : Latin s y a d n Su araoke K d n a : Livrtes 1B2/19 s y a d n Sta Mo y Tuesda p e t S ys: 2 Tuesda raoke a K : s y sda Wedne Oh Schmiggity! Schmappy Hour 7-9 Daily Steamboat's ONLY Happy Hour $1 from 7-9 pm Genesee Cans Sliders 1/2 OffSchmiggity-ball the entire bar; Schmac and Cheese $3 1/2 pound 100% Angus Beef Hot Dogs

Tickets online at schmiggitys.com or at All That. 821 Lincoln Ave - schmiggitys.com

17

News from the Chief of the Chief By Scott Parker

Hello all and thank you for reading the 39th installment of Smoke Signals: News from The Chief of The Chief. On November 11th, the Chief Theater was recognized as “Business of the Year” at the 2016 Navigator Awards. This award has been given yearly, since 1999, to both the Business of the Year and the Business Person of the year. More recently, they added the category of Young Professional of the Year. It was an honor to receive this award alongside Scott Marr (Business Person of the Year) and Nick Sharp (Young Professional of the Year). I would like to offer my sincere gratitude to the Steamboat Springs Chamber Resort Association and The Steamboat Pilot and Today for the award…and to Strings Music Pavilion for hosting an amazing event. This award would not have been possible without the tremendous support of our incredible community. Thank you!!! We have some amazing events on the horizon. Please come on down to the Chief and check them out!! December 2nd, 3rd and 4th: The Chief Players Present: Scrooge’s Christmas. This is our 2nd Annual Youth Theatre Production. Get your tickets now as it WILL sell out. December 6th: Yampa Valley Gives Day! Please consider a donation to the Chief Theater! December 9th: Small Town World…Randy, Solange, Willie and Cary!!! December 10th: Jessie Burns Presents A Celtic Christmas December 16th: The Herman Clan with Vince Herman of Leftover Salmon and his sons! This is part of our Songwriter Series December 22nd: A Chief Theater Holiday Celebration with Todd Musselman and Pat Waters Please follow us on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram or go to our website and sign up for our weekly email blast! Thank you for reading and see you at the Chief!!! Cheers, Scott

www.chieftheater.com 813 Lincoln Avenue 970-871-4791

December 2, 3 & 4 The Chief Youth Players Present:

Scrooge’s Christmas

Show at 7 pm Tickets: $15.

December 6

Yampa Valley Gives Day! Please Donate to the Chief Theater

December 10 Jessie Burns Presents:

A Celtic Christmas Doors & Bar @ 6:30 pm Show @ 7:00 pm

Tickets: $20.

December 13

Tread of Pioneers Presents:

Winter Film Series Doors & Bar @ 6:30 pm Show @ 7:00 pm

FREE

December 31 New Years Eve Stand Up Comedy featuring

Sam Tallent Doors @ 7 Show @ 8

Tickets: Tickets: Adults: $15$20. Students: $10

The holidays stress people out so much. I suggest you keep it simple and try to have as much fun as you can. -Giada De Laurentiis


18

December 2016

Valley Voice

Calendar of Events THURSDAY DECEMBER 1 Yoga for Parkinson’s Disease 11AM @ The Yoga Center of Steamboat FREE. Please contact Jeanne at 846-3326 before attending first class. Steamboat Springs Writers Group Noon @ Art Depot Meet with other writers and share your works. FREE. www.steamboatwriters.com Stein Tag 2PM @ Butcherknife Brewing Bring your own stein & we’ll fill it for the price of a pint. People’s choice “Best Stein” contest at 6-ish. 970-879-BEER Kids Eat Free 4:30PM @ The Tap House Kids 12/under – Purchase 1 adult entrée get 1 kids’ entrée free Beer Run 5:30PM @ Twisted Trails A chance to get in a run and meet other runners Bud Werner Memorial Library presents “Moose: Life of a Twig Eater” 6:30PM @ Library Hall Film is followed by Q&A by Jeff Yost of Colorado Parks and Wildlife. FREE. www. steamboatlibrary.org/events The Grahams w/Kelly Kerr 10PM @ Schmiggity’s Americana/Folk FREE. www.schmiggitys.com FRIDAY DECEMBER 2 Awaken with Chopra Center Yoga 9:30AM @ Yoga Center of Steamboat Chopra instructor Patty Zimmer. zimmer@springsips.com 970-846-5608 Exercise for Parkinson’s 1:30PM @ United Methodist Church To register, contact instructor Eva Gibbon. 970-846-9887 or eva57gibbon@gmail.com First Friday Art Walk 5PM @ Downtown Steamboat. Self-guided tour of local art galleries, museums and alternative venues. FREE. First Friday Art Walk @ Jace Romick Gallery 5PM @ The Chief FREE. www.chieftheater.com Art Walk Reception “Gift” 5PM @ Art Depot This boutique-style exhibit features fine art works from local artists, available to purchase For holiday giving. FREE. www.steamboatarts. org The Chief Youth Players present: Scrooge’s Christmas 6:30PM @ The Chief

To submit your events or calendar information e-mail: paulie@yampavalleyvoice.com Events may be edited for length or content. Calendar entries must be received by the 15th of each month.

The Chief Theater’s 2nd Annual Youth Holiday Production, this charming show adapts Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol. $15 @ ALL THAT or www. chieftheater.com Punch Drunk Munky Funk 10PM @ Schmiggity’s Jam/Funk FREE. www.schmiggitys.com SATURDAY DECEMBER 3 US Cup Opener 8AM @ Howelsen Hill Come watch Winter Sports Club Athletes kick off their season! Aquatic Aerobic Classes 9AM @ Old Town Hot Springs Pool Contact sallytestrake@ greencourtpartners.com or 970-761-2381 to register Holidays in the Rockies 2015 9AM @ Strawberry Park Elementary Shop for hand-crafted gifts, apparel, crafts, delicacies and more! Photos with Santa from 10AM-2PM. FREE. www. steamboatarts.org College Game Day 10AM @ Tap House Brunch, bloody Mary bar and bottomless mimosas Until 2PM Visit with Santa 11AM @ Santa’s Studio @ Routt County Courthouse Bring the kids to visit with Santa The Chief Youth Players present: Scrooge’s Christmas 6:30PM @ The Chief The Chief Theater’s 2nd Annual Youth Holiday Production, this charming show adapts Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol. $15 @ ALL THAT or www.chieftheater.com Bonfire Dub 10PM @ Schmiggity’s Reggae/Rock FREE. www.schmiggitys.com SUNDAY DECEMBER 4 NFL Game Day 10AM @ Tap House Brunch, bloody Mary bar and bottomless mimosas Until 2PM The Chief Youth Players present: Scrooge’s Christmas 6:30PM @ The Chief The Chief Theater’s 2nd Annual Youth Holiday Production, this charming show Adapts Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol. $15 @ ALL THAT or www. chieftheater.com Latin Dance Night 7PM @ Schmiggity’s Latin dance lessons followed by a night of open dancing FREE. www.schmiggitys.com

MONDAY DECEMBER 5

WEDNESDAY DECEMBER 7

Exercise for Parkinson’s 9AM @ United Methodist Church To register, contact instructor Jacqueline Teuscher @ 303-829-2869 or jacqueline. teuscher@gmail.com

Exercise for Parkinson’s 1:30PM @ United Methodist Church To register, contact instructor Eva Gibbon 970-846-9887 or eva57gibbon@gmail.com

Nia Classes 10AM @ Yoga Lila Studio (1955 Bridge Lane) For info text/call Patty Zimmer (970)846-5608 Ski Inc. Book Launch 5:30PM @ Off the Beaten Path Celebrate the release of Chris Diamond’s book, looking at how the Ski industry evolved during his 44-year career. FREE. www.steamboatbooks. com Bud Werner Memorial Library presents “Camp Forgotten” 6:30PM @ Library Hall A documentary film about the Civilian Conservation Corps by historian Bill Jamerson FREE. www.steamboatlibrary. org/events TUESDAY DECEMBER 6 Colorado Gives Day Give Where You Live! Show your support for over 50 participating Local non-profits and statewide incentive funds increase the value of every dollar donated! www.yampavalleygives.org Discount Wing Day 4:30PM @ The Tap House 970-879-2431 Token Tuesday 3:30PM @ Mountain Tap Brewery Receive a token for each craft brew purchased and chose which of 4 non-profits you will support. www.mountaintapbrewery.com History Happy Hour 5:30PM @ Butcherknife Brewery Outlaws and Gunmen of Routt County. Free craft beer for all who attend! www.treadofpioneers.org Bud Werner Memorial Library presents An Evening with Beth Macy 6:30PM @ Library Hall The bestselling author shares stories behind her new book “Truevine”. FREE. www.steamboatlibrary.org/events Two-step Tuesday 7PM @ Schmiggity’s Country dancing. FREE. Schmiggitys.com

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

Winter Expo 4PM @ Steamboat Sheraton Resort Over 50 local vendors will be exhibiting their wares Bud Werner Memorial Library presents Mountainfilm for Students 4PM @ Boys and Girls Club Mountainfilm Festival. Boys and Girls Club membership not required. FREE. www. steamboatlibrary.org/events Newcomers in Recovery 5:30PM @ 1915 Alpine Plaza #C-4 Meets weekly. (844) 9551066 www.foundrytreatmentcenter.com Women Who Wine 6PM @ Sundance Studio Formed by women for women to learn more about local nonprofits www.steamboatchamber.com/ community/women-who-winenov Bud Werner Memorial Library presents “Mountainfilm On Tour” 6:30PM @ Library Hall $10 at the door includes popcorn and lemonade. www. steamboatlibrary.org/events Karaoke Night 7PM @ Schmiggity’s FREE. www.schmiggitys.com THURSDAY DECEMBER 8 Yoga for Parkinson’s Disease 11AM @ The Yoga Center of Steamboat. FREE. Please contact Jeanne at 846-3326 before attending first class. Steamboat Springs Writers Group Noon @ Art Depot Meet with other writers and share your works. FREE. www.steamboatwriters.com Stein Tag 2PM @ Butcherknife Brewing Bring your own stein & we’ll fill it for the price of a pint. People’s choice “Best Stein” contest at 6-ish. 970-879BEER Kids Eat Free 4:30PM @ The Tap House Kids 12/under – Purchase 1 adult entrée get 1 kids’ entrée free

Beer Run 5:30PM @ Twisted Trails A chance to get in a run and meet other runners Yampa Valley Photographers Club Meeting 6:30PM @ Bud Werner Memorial Library. Topic: Light painting. All abilities welcome. FREE. yampavalleyphoto@ yahoo.com or 970-846-4577 Skydyed w/Homemade Spaceship and Pandawaywhat 10PM @ Schmiggity’s Progressive Electronic Rock FREE. www.schmiggitys.com FRIDAY DECEMBER 9 Awaken with Chopra Center Yoga 9:30AM @ Yoga Center of Steamboat Chopra instructor Patty Zimmer. zimmer@springsips.com 970-846-5608 Exercise for Parkinson’s 1:30PM @ United Methodist Church To register, contact instructor Eva Gibbon 970-846-9887 or eva57gibbon@gmail.com Whitewater Ramble (Rolling Stones tribute) 10PM @ Schmiggity’s Rocky Mountain dance grass FREE. www.schmiggitys.com SATURDAY DECEMBER 10 Steamboat Nordic Camp 8:30AM @ Lake Catamount Join The Nordic Link and Ski Haus for this cross-country clinic One or two day options available. www.thenordiclink.com/ Aquatic Aerobic Classes 9AM @ Old Town Hot Springs Pool Contact sallytestrake@greencourtpartners.com or 970-761-2381 to register Holiday Workshop 10AM @ the Arts Depot Make hand-crafted holiday gifts! Workshop includes supplies and inspiration from local artists. $25. www. steamboatarts.org to register College Game Day 10AM @ Tap House Brunch, bloody Mary bar and bottomless mimosas Until 2PM Visit with Santa 11AM @ Santa’s Studio @ Routt County Courthouse Bring the kids to visit with Santa Eli and Mort Learn to Snowboard 1, 2, 3 We Did It Book signing 3PM @ Off the Beaten Path Meet Mort the Moose, the main character in this Colorado picture book! FREE. www.steamboatbooks.com

Jessie Burns presents: A Celtic Christmas 6:30PM @ The Chief Jessie Burns returs with an amazing ensemble. $20 @ ALL THAT or www.chieftheater. com Wish You Were Pink 10PM @ Schmiggity’s Pink Floyd Tribute $5. www.schmiggitys.com SUNDAY DECEMBER 11 Steamboat Nordic Camp 8:30AM @ Lake Catamount Join The Nordic Link and Ski Haus for this cross-country clinic One or two day options available. www.thenordiclink.com/ NFL Game Day 10AM @ Tap House Brunch, bloody Mary bar and bottomless mimosas Until 2PM Latin Dance Night 7PM @ Schmiggity’s Latin dance lessons followed by a night of open dancing FREE. www.schmiggitys.com MONDAY DECEMBER 12 Exercise for Parkinson’s 9AM @ United Methodist Church To register, contact instructor Jacqueline Teuscher @ 303-829-2869 or jacqueline. teuscher@gmail.com Nia Classes 10AM @ Yoga Lila Studio (1955 Bridge Lane) For info text/call Patty Zimmer (970)846-5608 Bud Werner Memorial Library presents “Meet the Patels” 6:30PM @ Library Hall This documentary film by Ravi Patel follows his experiences as his traditional Hindu Parents as they attempt to find him a traditional wife. FREE. www.steamboatlibrary. org/events TUESDAY DECEMBER 13 Discount Wing Day 4:30PM @ The Tap House 970-879-2431 Token Tuesday 3:30PM @ Mountain Tap Brewery Receive a token for each craft brew purchased and chose which of 4 non-profits you will support. www.mountaintapbrewery.com Tread of Pioneers Winter Film Series presents: The Ute Indians 6:30PM @ The Chief Theater Learn about Steamboat Springs’ first inhabitants through documentaries, clips and local oral histories. FREE (donations accepted). www. chieftheater.com


Valley Voice

Moonlight Snowshoe Tour TBA @ Emerald Mountain Led by Yampatika. Ages 18 and up. $20 includes snowshoes. Registration required at www.yampatika.org Two-step Tuesday 7PM @ Schmiggity’s Country dancing. FREE. Schmiggitys.com WEDNESDAY DECEMBER 14 Exercise for Parkinson’s 1:30PM @ United Methodist Church To register, contact instructor Eva Gibbon 970-846-9887 or eva57gibbon@gmail.com Newcomers in Recovery 5:30PM @ 1915 Alpine Plaza #C-4 Meets weekly. (844) 9551066 www.foundrytreatmentcenter.com Karaoke Night 9PM @ Schmiggity’s FREE. www.schmiggitys.com THURSDAY DECEMBER 15 Yoga for Parkinson’s Disease 11AM @ The Yoga Center of Steamboat. FREE. Please contact Jeanne at 846-3326 before attending first class. Steamboat Springs Writers Group Noon @ Art Depot Meet with other writers and share your works. FREE. www.steamboatwriters.com Yampatika – Ski with a Naturalist 1:30PM @ Top of the Gondola FREE (Lift ticket not included). www.yampatika.org Stein Tag 2PM @ Butcherknife Brewing Bring your own stein & we’ll fill it for the price of a pint. People’s choice “Best Stein” contest at 6-ish. 970-879-BEER Kids Eat Free 4:30PM @ The Tap House Kids 12/under – Purchase 1 adult entrée get 1 kids’ entrée free Beer Run 5:30PM @ Twisted Trails A chance to get in a run and meet other runners Linear Symmetry 10PM @ Schmiggity’s Organic Dance Music FREE. www.schmiggitys.com FRIDAY DECEMBER 16 Awaken with Chopra Center Yoga 9:30AM @ Yoga Center of Steamboat Chopra instructor Patty Zimmer. zimmer@springsips.com 970-846-5608

December 2016

19

Calendar of Events Uranium Mine Snowshoe Tour 10AM @ Fish Creek Falls Parking Lot Led by a Yampatika Naturalist. Tour is moderately strenuous. FREE ($5 parking fee). Registration required www. yampatika.org Exercise for Parkinson’s 1:30PM @ United Methodist Church To register, contact instructor Eva Gibbon 970-846-9887 or eva57gibbon@gmail.com Mascot Stampede 5:30PM @ Base of the Ski Area Watch college mascots from around the country compete. The Herman Clan: Leftover Salmon’s Vince Herman and Sons 6:30PM @ The Chief Theater Vince Herman, founding member, singer and guitarist of Leftover Salmon is joined on the stage by his sons, Collin and Silas. $25 @ ALL THAT or www.chieftheater.com SoDown w/Trufeelz & Steezy Nicks 8PM All Ages - 11PM +21 @ Schmiggity’s Bass music with Soul $10 All Ages - $5 +21. www.schmiggitys.com

stories and make an historical craft to take home FREE. www.treadofpioneers. org John Fielder Book Signing 4PM @ Off the Beaten Path John Fielder will be available to sign all of his popular books and calendars, including his latest: Wildflowers of Colorado. FREE. www.steamboatbooks. com Mascot Stampede 5:30PM @ Base of the Ski Area Watch college mascots from around the country compete. 40 Oz to Freedom 10PM @ Schmiggity’s Sublime Tribute $10. www.schmiggitys.com SUNDAY DECEMBER 18 Rocky Mountain Nordic Cross Country Junior Nationals Qualifier 8AM @ Howelsen Hill NFL Game Day 10AM @ Tap House Brunch, bloody Mary bar and bottomless mimosas Until 2PM

SATURDAY DECEMBER 17

Holiday Festival 2PM @ Base of the Ski Area Decorate cookies, visit with Santa & watch the torchlight parade!

Rocky Mountain Nordic Cross Country Junior Nationals Qualifier. 8AM @ Howelsen Hill Watch Winter Sports Club athletes compete.

Latin Dance Night 7PM @ Schmiggity’s Latin dance lessons followed by a night of open dancing FREE. www.schmiggitys.com

Aquatic Aerobic Classes 9AM @ Old Town Hot Springs Pool Contact sallytestrake@greencourtpartners.com or 970-761-2381 to register

MONDAY DECEMBER 19

Emerald Mountain Snowshoe Tour 10AM @ Howelsen Hill Led by Yampatika. Ages 12 and up. $20 includes snowshoes. Registration required at www.yampatika.org College Game Day 10AM @ Tap House Brunch, bloody Mary bar and bottomless mimosas Until 2PM Breakfast with Santa 11AM @ Steamboat Sheraton Resort Visit with Santa and his helpers during their breakfast event Visit with Santa 11AM @ Santa’s Studio @ Routt County Courthouse Bring the kids to visit with Santa Pioneer Christmas Storytime and Crafts for Kids 11:30AM & 2PM @ Tread of Pioneers Museum Listen to pioneer Christmas

Holiday Classic FIS Slalom Race 8AM @ Howelsen Hill Come watch Winter Sports Club athletes compete Exercise for Parkinson’s 9AM @ United Methodist Church To register, contact instructor Jacqueline Teuscher @ 303-829-2869 or jacqueline. teuscher@gmail.com Nia Classes 10AM @ Yoga Lila Studio (1955 Bridge Lane) Nia is a holistic, non-impact, aerobic dance workout to For info text/call Patty Zimmer (970)846-5608 Bud Werner Memorial Library presents “Life, Animated” 6:30PM @ Library Hall Co-sponsored by the Yampa Valley Autism Project, this film tells the inspirational. FREE. www.steamboatlibrary.org/ events Live Band Karaoke 9PM @ Schmiggity’s Sing your song with a live band! FREE. www.schmiggitys.com

TUESDAY DECEMBER 20 Yampatika – Ski with a Naturalist 1:30PM @ Top of the Gondola FREE (Lift ticket not included). www.yampatika.org Discount Wing Day 4:30PM @ The Tap House 970-879-2431 Token Tuesday 3:30PM @ Mountain Tap Brewery Receive a token for each craft brew purchased and chose which of 4 non-profits you will support. www.mountaintapbrewery.com Bud Werner Memorial Library presents Community Yoga Practice 6:30PM @ Library Hall FREE. www.steamboatlibrary. org/events Two-step Tuesday 7PM @ Schmiggity’s Country dancing. FREE. Schmiggitys.com WEDNESDAY DECEMBER 21 Exercise for Parkinson’s 1:30PM @ United Methodist Church To register, contact instructor Eva Gibbon 970-846-9887 or eva57gibbon@gmail.com Newcomers in Recovery 5:30PM @ 1915 Alpine Plaza #C-4 Meets weekly. (844) 9551066 www.foundrytreatmentcenter.com Bud Werner Library’s Free Foreign Film Series 6:30PM @ The Chief Men Go To Battle directed by Zachary Treitz. FREE. www.steamboatlibrary. org/events Karaoke Night 9PM @ Schmiggity’s FREE. www.schmiggitys.com THURSDAY DECEMBER 22 Yoga for Parkinson’s Disease 11AM @ The Yoga Center of Steamboat FREE. Please contact Jeanne at 846-3326 before attending first class. Steamboat Springs Writers Group Noon @ Art Depot Meet with other writers and share your works. FREE. www.steamboatwriters.com Yampatika – Ski with a Naturalist 1:30PM @ Top of the Gondola FREE (Lift ticket not included). www.yampatika.org Stein Tag

2PM @ Butcherknife Brewing Bring your own stein & we’ll fill it for the price of a pint. People’s choice “Best Stein” contest at 6-ish. 970-879-BEER Kids Eat Free 4:30PM @ The Tap House Kids 12/under – Purchase 1 adult entrée get 1 kids’ entrée free Beer Run 5:30PM @ Twisted Trails A chance to get in a run and meet other runners Holiday Celebration with Todd Musselman and Pat Waters 6PM @ The Chief Sing along with your favorite songs with two Steamboat favorites! FREE (donations accepted). www.chieftheater.com

Tour 10AM @ Howelsen Hill Led by Yampatika. Ages 12 and up. $20 includes snowshoes. Registration required at www. yampatika.org College Game Day 10AM @ Tap House Brunch, bloody Mary bar and bottomless mimosas Until 2PM Visit with Santa 11AM @ Santa’s Studio @ Routt County Courthouse Bring the kids to visit with Santa DJ Dra-La 10PM @ Schmiggity’s DJ Dance Party FREE. www.schmiggitys.com SUNDAY DECEMBER 25

Christmas the Cowboy Way 7PM at Strings Music Pavilion Riders in the Sky holiday concert www.stringsmusicfestival.com

NFL Game Day 10AM @ Tap House Brunch, bloody Mary bar and bottomless mimosas Until 2PM

TBA 10PM @ Schmiggity’s FREE. www.schmiggitys.com

Latin Dance Night 7PM @ Schmiggity’s Latin dance lessons followed by a night of open dancing FREE. www.schmiggitys.com

FRIDAY DECEMBER 23 Awaken with Chopra Center Yoga 9:30AM @ Yoga Center of Steamboat Building physical strength and emotional and spiritual clarity. Brief inspirational teaching And meditation followed by all-levels yoga. Chopra instructor Patty Zimmer. zimmer@springsips.com 970-846-5608 Uranium Mine Snowshoe Tour 10AM @ Fish Creek Falls Parking Lot Led by a Yampatika Naturalist. Tour is moderately strenuous. FREE ($5 parking fee). Registration required www. yampatika.org Exercise for Parkinson’s 1:30PM @ United Methodist Church To register, contact instructor Eva Gibbon 970-846-9887 or eva57gibbon@gmail.com Holiday Family Show 5:30PM @ Strings Music Pavilion Fun all ages show www.stringsmusicfestival.com Schmiggity’s All-Stars 10PM @ Schmiggity’s Rock FREE. www.schmiggitys.com SATURDAY DECEMBER 24 Aquatic Aerobic Classes 9AM @ Old Town Hot Springs Pool Contact sallytestrake@ greencourtpartners.com or 970-761-2381 to register Emerald Mountain Snowshoe

MONDAY DECEMBER 26 Exercise for Parkinson’s 9AM @ United Methodist Church Targets balance, cardio, strength, dexterity and agility. To register, contact instructor Jacqueline Teuscher @ 303-829-2869 or jacqueline. teuscher@gmail.com Nia Classes 10AM @ Yoga Lila Studio (1955 Bridge Lane) For info text/call Patty Zimmer (970)846-5608 Live Band Karaoke 10PM @ Schmiggity’s Sing your favorite songs with a live band! FREE. www. schmiggitys.com TUESDAY DECEMBER 27 Yampatika – Ski with a Naturalist 1:30PM @ Top of the Gondola FREE (Lift ticket not included). www.yampatika.org Discount Wing Day 4:30PM @ The Tap House 970-879-2431 Token Tuesday 3:30PM @ Mountain Tap Brewery Receive a token for each craft brew purchased and chose which of 4 non-profits you will support. www.mountaintapbrewery.com Drop-in Holiday New Year Meditation Class 6PM @ Bud Werner Memorial Library “Let’s start 2017 off

Holidays are all different depending on the company and time of your life. -Dominic Monaghan


20

December 2016

Valley Voice

Calendar of Events on a good foot” with Buddhist Nun Kelsang Thaye. $10. www.meditateinfortcollins. org/steamboat Two-step Tuesday 7PM @ Schmiggity’s Country dancing. FREE. Schmiggitys.com WEDNESDAY DECEMBER 28 Exercise for Parkinson’s 1:30PM @ United Methodist Church To register, contact instructor Eva Gibbon 970-846-9887 or eva57gibbon@gmail.com Newcomers in Recovery 5:30PM @ 1915 Alpine Plaza #C-4 Meets weekly. (844) 9551066 www.foundrytreatmentcenter.com Karaoke Night 10PM @ Schmiggity’s FREE. www.schmiggitys.com THURSDAY DECEMBER 29

Led by a Yampatika Naturalist. Tour is moderately strenuous. FREE ($5 parking fee). Registration required www. yampatika.org Exercise for Parkinson’s 1:30PM @ United Methodist Church To register, contact instructor Eva Gibbon 970-846-9887 or eva57gibbon@gmail.com Stars at Night 6:30PM @ Steamboat Grand Ballroom Celebrating 101 years of the Steamboat Springs Winter Sports Club. Dinner, dancing and live auction. Proceeds benefit the Winter Sports Club. $175 @ http://sswsc.org/support/stars-at-night-gala Pandas & People 10PM @ Schmiggity’s Alternative Folk $5. www.schmiggitys.com SATURDAY DECEMBER 31

Yoga for Parkinson’s Disease 11AM @ The Yoga Center of Steamboat. FREE. Please contact Jeanne at 846-3326 before attending first class.

Aquatic Aerobic Classes 9AM @ Old Town Hot Springs Pool Contact sallytestrake@ greencourtpartners.com or 970-761-2381 to register

Steamboat Springs Writers Group Noon @ Art Depot Meet with other writers and share your works. FREE. www.steamboatwriters.com

Emerald Mountain Snowshoe Tour 10AM @ Howelsen Hill Led by Yampatika. $20 includes snowshoes. Registration required at www. yampatika.org

Yampatika – Ski with a Naturalist 1:30PM @ Top of the Gondola FREE (Lift ticket not included). www.yampatika.org

College Game Day 10AM @ Tap House Brunch, bloody Mary bar and bottomless mimosas Until 2PM

Stein Tag 2PM @ Butcherknife Brewing Bring your own stein & we’ll fill it for the price of a pint. People’s choice “Best Stein” contest at 6-ish. 970-879-BEER Kids Eat Free 4:30PM @ The Tap House Kids 12/under – Purchase 1 adult entrée get 1 kids’ entrée free Beer Run 5:30PM @ Twisted Trails A chance to get in a run and meet other runners The Movement w/Acutonic 10PM @ Schmiggity’s Reggae/Rock/Hip-Hop $10. www.schmiggitys.com FRIDAY DECEMBER 30 Awaken with Chopra Center Yoga 9:30AM @ Yoga Center of Steamboat Chopra instructor Patty Zimmer. zimmer@springsips.com 970-846-5608 Uranium Mine Snowshoe Tour 10AM @ Fish Creek Falls Parking Lot

Torchlight Parade 5:20PM @ Base of the Ski Area Family Fun Party 5:30PM @ Steamboat Grand Ballroom All ages party includes dinner, DJ, face-painting, We’re Not Clowns jugglers And count down to 2017. www.steamboat.com/thingsto-do/events/family-fun-newyears-eve

Literary Excerpt

A Little Boy By Rondell Ferguson

I followed Ryan, my oldest son, Razook and Mohamed through the shaded dirt parking lot in front of the old yellowed train station, now inoperative, due to the thousands of refugees living in tents on and around the dusty tracks. We were in Camp Idomeni, Greece, where the border at Macedonia was blocked with razor sharp twisted barb wire. I had to hurry to keep up with 3 young men. Passing the station, the only area with large trees out into the bright sunlight, I stepped up about 18 inches onto the tracks. On the tracks we maneuvered between tents and small camp fires some spewing poisonous smoke from the burning of anything people could find including plastic. They had to cook and heat water to bathe with those fires. I would hold my breath while my eyes burned. Ryan and boys were getting further and further ahead of me. We were going to the first distribution of food we volunteers prepare for 5000 people every day. Crossing the tracks we walked in dirty gravel. I stopped short as I approached a dirt path. I had been concentrating carefully on the gravel and rocks before me. I was trying to catch up with Ryan. I stopped short when I looked up. There were more tents lined up on my right, staked on gravel. Stunned at what I saw by those tents was a boy. My heart felt shock and pain and my eyes teared at what they captured. Sitting all alone in the hot sun on the gravel a tiny boy sat, a baby, not older than 18 months I guessed. Alone. No adult, no one was caring for him. I approached and bent over him saying “Hi little one, are you OK? Where are your parents?”, knowing he did not understand me. I hoped he felt love in my voice and from my eyes. He bowed his little head. He was very small, shoeless, in clean dark shirt and pants of a soft cloth. His skin was tan. He had dark hair and large hurt eyes. There was no smile. Just a timid look when he looked back up at me.

New Year’s Eve Stand Up Comedy 7PM @ The Chief Sam Tallent returs for his Annual New Year’s Stand-up Comedy Show. $20 @ ALL THAT or www.chieftheater.com New Years’ Eve Party 9PM @ Top of the Gondola Live music, Korbel toast, appetizers, chocolate fountain and dessert bar. https://www. steamboat.com/things-to-do/ events/korbel-new-years-eveparty Euforquestra 10PM @ Schmiggity’s Funk/Soul/Reggae $20. www.schmiggitys.com

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

I bent down and picked him up to hug him. He made strange little noises, sounding like “huh huh huh”. I was not sure what he was feeling. I held him attempting to comfort him. I walked with him in my arms to the first tent on the right and said “baby, baby” hoping to find his family. Some one peaked out of the tent saying something I could not understand and pointed to another tent down a few yards on the left. The opening to that tent was on the far side. Again, I sad “baby, baby”. A young boy about 5 came out and took him from my arms into his own. I was relieved that he was with family or so I had to believe. As I continued on I felt an accumulation of all I had seen and experienced in a short time at the camp. It cut to the bone. I had seen suffering, confusion, stress, desperation and fear. At the same time there existed strong hope, love and deep caring for each other. I felt a heavy confusion consisting of all human emotion crammed in time and space, here in Idomeni. The refugees, Idomeni, what will happen next? How long will it take to find a home, live respectably, not be imprisoned at a border, helpless? I experienced their hope and fear battling each other. BeforeI left my comfortable home and life, in Steamboat Springs, CO,

I could not have imagined all I was to see and learn. Or all of the many stories, incredible hardships and depths of humanity I would share. I knew nothing about what I would see, feel, hear and touch, learn! Nothing of the strong bonds between people, humans all fated together in this small place. I was on my way to meet my son Ryan and experience this phenomenon, human tragedy, with him. The days I spent at The Park Hotel in Polikastro and camp Idomeni changed my perspective on life and purpose in ways I could not have known.


Valley Voice

December 2016

21

The Heretic

Healing Heresies By Lorre Buss

Life in a culture based on the fallacy that there is One Right Way To Live provides an abundance of opportunities to exercise our heretical muscles. Exclusive, rule-bound religions are an obvious target, but at least there is a variety of them from which to choose if one is so inclined. The same can be said about healing, though we haven’t yet equalized the playing field in this area. Most medical insurance herds the populace into the allopathic model like so many cows on their way to slaughter. Although these days we hear about “integral” and “complementary” medicine, it sometimes seems there are no valid wholesale alternatives. But of course there are. It’s easy to dismiss out of hand those things one has not personally experienced. It’s also easy to spew falsehoods based on ignorance and prejudices.

There’s no question Western medicine has the goods when it comes to setting bones, managing extreme physical trauma and performing surgery. However, when it comes to creating and maintaining health in the interior of the body and its organs, without resortring to the relative extreme of cutting into the body and removing its parts, there are a variety of cures available that are much safer, gentler, and – over the long term – more effective. In fact, if used prior to an acute phase of an illness, these methods may well prevent the necessity of cutting. Herbal remedies, homeopathy, and Traditional Chinese Medicine (including Chinese herbs, acupuncture and acupressure) are all profoundly effective. Boulder-based Herb Research Foundation has hundreds of research studies on the use of both Western and Eastern herbs for healing. Typically, this research is performed in countries other than ours (primarily in Europe), which may be why so many Americans believe there is none to be found. Herbs are commonly used to good effect every day. Peppermint really does soothe the digestive tract. Ginger helps reduce nausea and morning sickness. Hemlock kills us. Plants have a long history of use the world over. Many synthetic drugs are based on their counterparts in the natural world. Homeopathics are also effective, though you’d never know it if your research begins and ends with Wikipedia. Dr. Peter Fisher, the Queen’s physician, called last year for an increase in the use of homeopathic remedies alongside conventional therapies by the NHS,

siting evidence of better outcomes and lower costs. In my own experience, when my cat suffered kidney difficulties, I consulted Dr. Pitcairn’s Natural Health for Dogs and Cats, treated Merlyn with homeopathy, and she improved. But maybe that’s because she believed she would. Does the placebo effect take place in animals other than humans? If the meridians referred to by practitioners of TCM were imaginary, it would be impossible to explain how deep massage of a tender point on my calf resulted in complete relief from hip pain. Had I known ahead of time that the massaged point related to the hip, I would agree there may have been some weird, lasting placebo effect. But I was ignorant of the connection until after I experienced the outcome.

Premium Recreational & Medical Marijuana Dispensary

A combination of acupuncture and Chinese herbs cured a respiratory infection I harbored for nine years. Even after the use of strong antibiotics, this infection flared up every six to twelve months until I allowed tiny needles to be inserted into specific spots on my body and consumed an Oriental brew. In his book Confessions of a Medical Heretic, Dr. Robert S. Mendelsohn, M.D., recognized the religious overtones of the medical profession and the absurdity of some of its methods. He shared how a side effect of Valium may be anxiety – the exact symptom for which that drug is used. If his patient suffers anxiety after ingesting this pharmaceutical, he wondered, should he prescribe more or less? Also revealed was the method by which new pharmaceuticals are “discovered.” Step one is to come up with a uniquely patentable chemical combination. Once the sequence is identified and patented, drug companies go to work figuring out for what condition they might market the substance. We shouldn’t be surprised by the inescapable side effects and “multiple uses found” of these medicines. Given the power of our thoughts and beliefs to affect our personal healing process, I sense “the placebo effect” is part and parcel of any effective cure (as are spiritual dimensions that are beyond the scope of this article). On the other hand, the plethora of negative side effects that accompany pharmaceutical “cures” (which are often nothing but symptom management) call the placebo effect into question. As Americans, we believe in the right to make choices for ourselves based on who and what we know ourselves to be. With every passing day, we’re realizing there are many right ways to live. There are also many valid and effective ways to heal.

www.GoldenLeaf.co 1755 Lincoln Avenue On the FREE Bus Route

970-870-2941 Open 8am - 6:45pm Daily The holidays are only holy if we make them so. -Marianne Williamson


22

December 2016

Valley Voice

Here Knitty-Knitty

Gifting Change By LA Bourgeois

without the aid of yeast, the thing that makes me buy a sugar pie pumpkin and roast it to make my pumpkin puree instead of buying a can. So, I knit my gifts. Or crochet them. I even found my cross-stitch materials yesterday. However, last year, I totally missed my brother’s kids in my mitten Christmas knitting. This must be fixed! I’m not convinced that mittens are the way to go, though. I only finished six pairs last year, but it felt like finishing twelve pieces! I guess it actually was twelve pieces. And I needed to knit ten pairs. Which would have actually been twenty pieces. Shinky. Realizing that ten little gifts is actually a bit too much (and knowing that I can only knit so far before my fingers fall off), I’m ending the obsession out of self-preservation. This year, I will purchase a few gifts. Don’t get too alarmed! Now that I live in this little artsy area, I’m exploring and discovering tons of cool little fun handmade artistic presents for my family. So, the gifts will still be handmade, just not by me. That’s something I can live with!

Christmas carols bounce through the air. Christmas movies ring on the television. Christmas lights zing through my neighborhood. I sit and work on everything but my Christmas knitting. What’s wrong with me?

As Stephanie so often remarks, “The cobbler’s children have no shoes.” If I was a good auntie, I would settle down right now and start knitting up matching sets of hats and mittens and scarves for those darling symbolic children.

Plus, this year, I am closer! Each year, I send off handmade gifts wrapped in colorful paper in a plain box. They zip into the ethers of the post office or delivery service and I rarely see them again. I get thank-yous and I-love-its and how-do-I-wear-this’s, but very rarely pictures. But this year.... This year I can deliver them. I actually will be able to deliver the mittens or hats or whatever in person to the nephews and neices and Mom and Dad! I can wrap up the gifts and pop them into a box in the back of the car and drive up to visit during the Christmas holiday. I can watch the kids open their presents and politely say “Thank you, Aunt LA” before tossing the mittens or hat back into the paper and going back to the toy fire trucks and pogo sticks.

“No! Don’t look at my phone!”

Unfortunately for them, I am not a good auntie. I’ll squeeze in time between knitting up the next Knitter’s Almanac project, knitting the next test-knit, and designing my next pattern to be released. I’ll sneak off to Ravelry when I should be working and pick out some cute pattern for one of them, chastising myself the whole time. All the time that I work on their pieces, I will be remembering twelve thousand other things I should be doing rather than knitting on their oh-so-cute presents!

“What is this?! What are you doing?”

See. Horrible auntie.

Happy Holidays to me!

“Nothing. It’s nothing! It means nothing!”

But super-professional knitter.

“Your Ravelry queue is seventy patterns long! And it’s all children’s things!”

Each year, at this time, I consider walking away from knitting gifts. Other people purchase gifts. Why can’t I do that? What is it about me that rejects that notion?

-LA Bourgeois is currently wandering around the Asheville, North Carolina area. Follow her explorations on her blog at housewyfe.com, on Facebook at facebook.com/ housewyfe, or Instagram @lahousewyfe.

This is the life of a professional knitter. Knitting suddenly becomes about work and less about the wonderful world of gift-giving or knitting up something beautiful just for you. I have to sneak away to do my gift-giving knitting and just-for-me knitting and knitting for family like I’m having an affair.

“I promise! I’ll finish yours this year!” “Again with the promises. I’ll believe you when I have that new shawl wrapped around my shoulders.”

I have a feeling that it’s the same thing that makes me bake cookies instead of purchasing a bag, the thing that makes me raise my sourdough bread using starter

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

A holiday filled with not-as-much-knitting, gift purchasing as an excuse for exploration, and a teensy bit of car travel to get to the family?


Valley Voice

December 2016

23

The Way I See It

What is it Like to be You? By Nina Rogers

In the aftermath of the election, so many people have taken to Facebook asking Trump supporters to explain why they voted for him. Many times, however, that question comes after the questioner has listed their beliefs about Trump, so the question becomes less “Why do you support him?” and more “Why do you support someone who is -----?” In other words, “We’ve already made up our minds about you; now just try to convince us we are wrong.” This is not a free and open dialogue – this is one party standing, arms crossed and toe impatiently tapping, demanding an explanation from the other party. This is still one side against the other. US against THEM. In order to begin a meaningful dialogue, we must look for common ground. This means getting past the hurt feelings, the blame, the name-calling and the victimhood. It means really looking at one another and asking, “What is it like to be you?” And not from a place of,“I already have all the information I need but I’ll humor you,” but more from a place of, “This makes me feel this way. Does it make you feel that way, too?” Can you feel the difference? It is human nature to look for opinions and statements that reinforce what we already believe. Any good salesperson knows that’s the way to make a sale: present what the person wants and then help them justify the decision to buy it. But the strategy that works fine for buying shoes or cars or jewelry can be polarizing and divisive if we use it to run our lives. So how can we find common ground? Can we start with this? “We are all in this together.” It doesn’t matter if we voted for or against or if we didn’t vote. It doesn’t matter if we are liberal or conservative; gay, trans, or straight; black, Hispanic, Muslim or white; male or female; old or young. “We are all in this together.” It doesn’t matter how we arrived here. “We are all in this together.” Can we, for a short while, put aside our stories? Can we agree that, even though some of us may have more and some may have less; some may have it easy and others may have it tough, “We are all in this together.” We all have certain things in common. We all want to be safe. We all want enough to eat. We all want to be sheltered. We all want to make choices for ourselves. We all want to feel we are noted; that we matter. “We are all in this together.” It’s hard to let go of our differences and our stories. We have believed for so long that they are what makes us unique. But our uniqueness comes from a deeper level and it will never leave us. We can never not be unique. It’s in our DNA and it’s from our Source. I believe that it’s of the utmost importance now that we connect. That we acknowledge all the ways we are the same. That we share pain and fear and hunger and laughter and love and longing. Can we release the blame and the hate and seek out each other’s hearts? Practicing Ho’oponopono “I Love You, I’m Sorry, Please Forgive Me” until we truly believe it?

Yes, the world is changing. Some of us believe it’s for the better, some believe it’s for the worse, some of us don’t know but we do know we’re scared spitless. But one way or another, the change won’t happen without us. And, since we’re coming along for the ride anyhow, why not get involved and choose what kind of change we want it to be? This means being conscious of our choices. Choosing our words with care and removing victim-speak and divisiveness from our speech. Trying instead to frame our words in a way that calls out to what we share. Looking, really looking, at one another and asking ourselves, “What is it like to be you?” Making contact. Standing up for what you believe, but doing so in a way that invites participation and collaboration. Being passionate in a way that beckons others to share that passion. Think, if you will, of a flashmob performing a piece of music or a dance. Think of the people watching, smiling, joining in. Think of how that makes you feel. Do you want to jump up and dance? Do you get goosebumps? Do you laugh and cry at the same time? This is how unity feels! Join in!

879.5929 905 Weiss Drive - across HWY 40 from the Holiday Inn

*Inspiration for this column came from Charles Eisenstein’s wonderful essay: The Election: Of Hate, Grief, and a New Story, and I am very grateful to him!

2570 South Copper Frontage • 970•879•5717

Photo by Crash

Giving Thanks this month for all of our incredible clients and their fur friends. Ask about our loyalty program so we can give a little something back.

Have a Safe and Happy Holiday Season Happy Pets! Happy People!

www.petkareclinic.com 102 Anglers Drive

970-879-5273 I don’t like holidays. And I don’t like crowds of people. I don’t like noise. -Roz Chast


24

December 2016

Beer of the Month:

Valley Voice

Deschutes

970-879-7355

Thursday - Saturday: 10am - 11pm Sunday - Wednesday: 10am - 10pm

Transitory Adventures

Gobble Gobble By Nacho Neighbor It’s time to break bread with people who don’t look like us. That was the start of what we perceive as the holiday Thanksgiving. Yes, we took obscene liberties with the people who were here first, but onward we move. We broke bread and coexistence began in a new land. Not always pretty, but humanity is not all roses. So, speaking of sharing the traditional bird, get you some of that! Like the taste of that bird? That, my politically opposite neighbors is the taste of crow. Get you some of ‘THAT’! Just when you think you know your country, it goes and slaps you upside your complacent ass. Who’d’a thunk that it was, “Uneducated white women,” that supposedly put Trump over the top? It appears that the trailer park has replaced the hair parlor for deep political discourse... Give me a Jeep, some flannel, some Budweiser, and a Midwest girl who can drive a stick shift... I’m moving to Wisconsin. What makes me the happiest is that ‘Merica decided to not go from one political experiment to another. It’s been hard to be a white guy for the last 10 years. The PC police have run amok to the point that you can be shamed at the soccer game for your beliefs. Didn’t “W” have a black woman as his Secretary of Defense? The G.O.P. is not an exclusive tribe as many think. That “optic” is delivered to you with a spoon from the mainstream media. I thought Peter Jennings was a rock star back in the day. But he enjoyed my allegiance due to ABC’s Wide World of Sports. I could not wait for Saturday afternoon. The Carlsbad Grand Prix Motocross Championships from Carlsbad, CA, was one of the greatest things I’ve ever seen. An American, Brad Lackey happened to win the title for the first time and I saw it. But I digress...As cable grew, so did my search for wider view of opinion.

“Branding Season” by Kelsey White

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

So, now pantsuits are not as “hip” as many moms would have expected. Hip, hippy, “Most hippest,” her stylist might say under her breath. You thought Snuggles were an eyesore; Versace’ sees a pantsuit and hurls on his little white dog. I’ve just ordered my new t-shirt fashioned like the “I’m with Stupid” shirts you used to get at Spencer’s Gifts. Next to the edible panties, and Farrah poster you used to rock right over your bed. Mine will read, “You lost because of Her.” Not since Chicago politics of the 30’s, 40’s, heck since forever, has the DNC force fed your kind two candidates with extremely suspect reasoning behind them. My president is not the type of person to run around the world apologizing for who we are. Perfect we are not. And there are some big-mouth Hollywood types who are on their way to Canada. Go with them. You should have felt the “Bern,” He would have been a slam dunk. The real burn would have been your paycheck. Your 30% net check would have given you fits, but at least your neighbor’s kid got free college... I never thought that Trump would win. Neither did you. If your curtains are closed and people keep telling you it’s snowing outside for a month, you’d expect to see a winter wonderland. That’s because those are people who sell road salt. The majority of the press has a point of view. That, kids, is verbal ipecac. I’m barfing now but it’s because I’m sick with laughter and jubilation. I had too much turkey; you chowed on crow.


Valley Voice

December 2016

25

Energetically Speaking

Played like a Fiddle

Fat Bikes and accessories are in stock!

By Fred Robinson

The companies and corporations that own our country are using anger from the election to continue their control of US. One candidate is a greedy liar and the other is a greedy crook. Neither deserve the job. Congress did not support our current president. Will they support the new one? The greed of the candidates allows them to be controlled by our masters. During the election our army bombed Syria, but we didn’t hear about that on the news. Now it sounds like we are going to change the goal there and support the current leader instead of trying to remove him. Confusing! Because of the national anger we will see more ads to recruit soldiers to fight in the wars we are engaged in all over our PLANET. Our country is fighting in somewhere between seven and fourteen wars Right NOW! Congress has printed the money for their wars, but wants to cut back funding for Social Security, Food Stamps, Veterans Benefits, Transportation, and Schools. The newly elected president wants to restrict the EPA and NATO. Hooray! NATO is a military organization that answers to NO ONE and wants to control the World. The EPA has created undue regulations that have made it impossible to change some things that we need. Fifteen years ago the EPA created regulations that killed the CNG industry by making it much more dif-

By Dale Boberg

ficult to modify vehicles to run on compressed natural gas. Now the EPA is restricting the use of Ethanol with more undue regulations and a system of credits that changes every few months. Are they protecting us or the petroleum companies? A few years ago the Department of Energy helped fund the building of pellet plants to make wood pellets out of trees. The wood pellets are a great way to heat your home. When the pellet plants were up and running the EPA said STOP, the pellet production had emissions that needed some regulation. The modifications to the pellet plants were expensive and made them unprofitable. That made it possible for friends of the EPA to purchase the operations for a low price and continue production.

Bulk Christmas Candy in stock

Last year the EPA caused the big mine blowout that polluted rivers and land for hundreds of miles, then said NOT OUR PROBLEM! The contractor caused it! How corrupt does and organization have to get before We The People can do something?

Don't forget to get your receipt stamped and dated for SHOP LOCAL CAMPAIGN!

I dreamed about the Indians in North Dakota last week and realized I need to visit them with my Multi-Fuel vehicle to show the PEOPLE how we can continue our lives without petroleum. intergalactici@aol.com

in downtown Yampa

970.638.4531 The “LOCAL’S” choice for Personalized Health Care

Come see Santa!

on the 10th from 11am-1pm Awesome Sales - Ongoing through Christmas!

CHECK IT OUT!

“Let us be lazy in everything, except in loving and drinking, except in being lazy.” Gotthold Ephraim Lessing

The Original Local’s Liquor Store On the corner of 40 and Hilltop Pkwy 10 to 10 Mon – Thurs 10 to Midnight Fri & Sat 11:30 to 7:30 Sundays

I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays. -Henny Youngman


26

December 2016

Valley Voice

Yepelloscopes

Your Monthly Message By Chelsea Yepello Hayden Branch

101 N. 6th Street

970-276-9099

Aries

March 21 - April 19

You will finally start listening to your body this week when it recounts all its good times in the glory days.

750 Hospital Loop Craig, Colorado 81625 Phone: 970-824-9411 e-mail: info@tmhcraig.org

Taurus

April 20 - May 20

As your friend’s femur is protruding out of his skin, he won’t appreciate your effort to comfort him by mentioning that there is at least no question on which bone is broken.

Gemini

May 20 - June 20

Three years from now you will be a success in the fashion industry, when you finally have an idea on what to do with all those cats living in your backyard.

Cancer

June 21 - July 22

You will soon see how surprising standing up for yourself can be when you finally walk up to your boss and demand that raise you have deserved for so long. No, you will not be getting the raise, but you will be surprised that your boss has security guards you didn’t know about.

YOUR HOMETOWN GROCER OPEN 7 DAYS 970-736-2455

MAIN STREET OAK CREEK • Natural Foods • Local Products • Fresh Meat • Fresh Produce • Organic Foods • Friendly Service • Specialty Foods • Convenient • Fresh Dairy

Leo

July 23 - August 23

Remember when you were told that bullying isn’t fun? Well, you seemed to have a lot of fun when you dunked your nephew’s head in the toilet and flushed it.

Snow Bowl

Virgo

August 23 - September 22

Just when you think the general public can’t be any dumber, they go and prove you wrong. Gotta give it to the general public for always taking the collective shame to a brand new level.

879-9840

New TURBO INTERNET PLANS From ZIRKEL Wireless

Come out and meet our new evening staff Reservations recommended, walk-ins always welcome! ON THE FREE BUS LINE!

970-871-8500 www.zirkelwireless.com

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

Libra

September 23 - October 23

You always were a fan of everyone’s attention, but at some point people have to understand that you put your shirt on just like everyone else… One ugly, singing, blinking reindeer sweater at a time.

Scorpio

October 24 - November 21

You call it an intensive look at nature to gain inspiration and motivation, others call it living out of a van in the middle of the woods to avoid getting a job.

Sagittarius

November 22 - December 21

Just remember what your grandma always told you: it is not safe to reach for a plastic container of hot baked beans above your head unless you are wearing the correct protection.

Capricorn

December 22 - January 19

People say you’re a control freak and you appreciate their honesty, but you do need to mention that they really could pronunciate a little better and stand up straighter.

Aquarius

January 20 - February 18

Your first-born will have your smile and eyes, but also your neighbor’s ability to complain about your trash can being left in his driveway.

Pisces

February 19 - March 20

The doctors will diagnose you with black lung, worms, and scabies… But you will just accuse them of being bored and picking on you so it doesn’t really count.


Valley Voice

December 2016

Cully Kistler

OSO’s Adventures

By Matt Scharf

Leap of Faith

©

By Jeff Morehead

27


28

December 2016

Valley Voice

AND WIN GREAT PRIZES! Enter @ Oak Creek/Yampa Town Halls and Flat Tops Ranch Supply

Grand Prizes:

10% Off Everything Store Wide All Week December 4-10

Two Winter WonderGrass Weekend Passes 2 one day ski rentals from Ski Haus & 2 Lift Tickets Black Hawk 1 night stay and 2 buffet tickets, a Colorado State Parks Pass

Just 25 miles South of Steamboat 21475 Hwy. 131 Phippsburg, CO (970) 736-2450

Runner up Prizes: Gift Certificates for South Routt businesses, libations, and many more goodies! Additional Prizes announced at Drawing on Dec. 30, 2016 at Oak Creek Town Hall.

BINGO!

OAK CREEK HOLLY FESTIVAL

Events in Oak Creek YOGA with AMY! 9:00 a.m. Let’s Dance Studio Pay for the class with a donation to LIFT-UP Food Bank Coffee with the Mayor 10:00 a.m. at Kate’s Cafe Santa at Bonfiglio Drug! 11 a.m. - 1 p.m. Have your picture taken with Santa Skate with Santa! 2:00 p.m. -3:30 p.m. at the Ice Rink (Conditions permitting) Scavenger Hunt in Oak Creek! 11:00 a.m. - 2:00 p.m. Start at Kate’s Café, 216 E Main Street Decorate your cookie, follow the directions, find all the clues, and get your prize at the Fire Station!

Tree-Lighting Ceremony 5:00 p.m. at the corner of Main & Sharp Streets Caroling Following the tree-lighting ceremony, join the group for caroling through Town Christmas Lighting Contest Sign-up sheet @ Town Hall – Sign up by December 23rd Utility gift certificates for best residential decor Letters to Santa 8a.m. to 11a.m. Oak Creek Post Office

For those who live here and for those who wish they did.

Ladies Aid Hall in Yampa Saturday, December 10th Doors @ 7pm, Play @ 7:30pm

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 10 Holiday Shopping Specials in Oak Creek Bonfiglio Drug Santa Sale All Day - 10-40% Off most Christmas, toys & gifts

Spiro’s Trading Post & Liquor Stop In and See Our Holly Festival Specials

Last Call Floral & Events Holiday Gifts and Decor 10% Off Entire Store

Tracks & Trails Museum 11a.m. - 2 p.m. Books and a wide selection of great gifts for the holidays! Museum Store Open 11 a.m. – 2 p.m.

Brand Spankin’ Used HOLIDAY BAZAAR 109 East Main Lots of awesome stuff for your holiday needs Rachel’s Smokin’ Café Holiday Crafts with Kaci! Get a delicious Sandwich, a side and a drink for $10.00! Select Super Market Egg Nog & Christmas Treats All Day ! The Colorado Bar & Grill Specials on Breakfast & Lunch All Day!

Kate’s Cafe 216 E Main Street Oak Creek, CO Bakery and Café • All Homemade (970) 736-8491 Place your Holiday Treat Order Today! Flat Tops Ranch Supply 21475 Hwy 131 in Phippsburg 10% OFF Everything Store Wide Space Station Buy one coffee, get one coffee free! 312 Myers St.


Valley Voice December 2016