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Worldwide Coaching Magazine November - December 2017

In-depth Knowledge, Outspoken Opinions

Emotional Intelligence How to combine EQ, IQ and SQ in a leadership role


Emotional Intelligence How to combine EQ, IQ and SQ in a leadership role. Worldwide Coaching Magazine: In-depth Knowledge, Outspoken Opinions

Publisher and Editor-in-Chief: Ton de Graaf, Executive Coach / Chartered Business Coach™

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Art design: Milk & Cookies

Illustrations: Maaike Maas

Lay-out:

In 1998 Daniel Goleman published his first article on emotional intelligence and leadership. The response to “What Makes a Leader?” was well received. People throughout and beyond the business community started talking about the vital role that empathy and self-knowledge play in effective leadership. The concept of emotional intelligence continues to occupy a prominent space in the leadership literature and in everyday coaching practices. But in the past years, research in the field of social neuroscience—the study of what happens in the brain while people interact—is beginning to reveal subtle new truths about what makes a good leader.

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Magazine Publishing: Tabula Nova ©Worldwide Coaching Magazine 2017 all rights reserved.

Informed by the latest emerging neuroscience, and our burgeoning knowledge about the multiple brains (head, heart, gut, autonomic), along with new data on embodied cognition and interoceptive (inner) wisdom now available to us, Suzanne Henwood and Grant Soosalu propose the need for multiple forms of intelligence (mQ) in leadership. Suzanne and Grant came up with the following equation:

Coaching is more than a set of tools and techniques. To be a successful coach you need a highly refined combination of advanced knowledge, technical skill, intuition, self-awareness, and business and entrepreneurial acumen. Our mission is to promote the powerful and positive impact executive, business and life coaches are having by educating and inspiring the coach and client community worldwide. We offer an inside view on the methods, techniques and theoretical underpinnings that put coaching at the forefront of best practices for achieving deep structural change in people’s lives.

IQ + EQ + HQ + SQx2 + GQ + BQ + PQ x2 + AQ = Being a Whole leader mQ

You can read about their intriguing findings in this edition. In this final edition of 2017 I’d like to express my big thanks to all those wonderful contributors who freely share their knowledge, skills and experiences so you, dear reader, can stay informed on the latest developments and insights in the coaching profession. I’m so very grateful for all you have done to make this such an amazing magazine! Enjoy this edition!

Wishing you Happy Holidays, Ton de Graaf, Chartered Business Coach™ Publisher and Editor-in-Chief 2

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In this edition: The Clash of the Qs By Leanne Hoagland-Smith

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The 8Es of Leadership Development By Julia von Flotow

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Being Smart With Your Emotional, Social And Conversational Intelligence® By Lyn Christian

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Seven Myths About Coaching and The Truth Behind Them By Gemma Reeves

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The Linguistic Origins of Mentoring

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By Prof. David Clutterbuck Let’s Talk mQ

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By Suzanne Henwood and Grant Soosalu

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The Clash of the Qs By Leanne Hoagland-Smith

Have you ever watched the television series Big Bang Theory? This successful American series reveals on a weekly basis the clash of IQ, EQ and SQ (social intelligence). 4


One of the primary characters, Sheldon, demonstrates a very high IQ. Unfortunately, his lack of social intelligence is also very much present as he tells everyone within ear shot he is the most intelligent person in the room. Sheldon’s inability to recognise and understand the emotions of others as well as his own emotions prevents him from managing all of those emotions (emotional intelligence), His high IQ works against his EQ and SQ. Of course, we don’t have to watch television or cable to see how these three Qs clash on a daily basis. Each day just by observing others, we are exposed to many interactions where with a little bit more patience and understanding potentially negative outcomes could quickly turn around to be far more positive.

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Possibly why IQ, EQ and SQ clash begins is due to the lack of knowledge about each of these intelligences. Howard Gardner, an American developmental psychologist, is the individual whose research work recognised the standard intelligence (IQ) was just one of many intelligences. • • • • • • • •

Bodily-Kinesthetic Interpersonal Intrapersonal Logical-Mathematical Musical Naturalistic Linguistic Spatial

Later Daniel Goleman combined Gardner’s Intrapersonal and Interpersonal intelligence into Emotional Intelligence. With the continued expansion of neuroscience and technology, Goleman has also advanced social intelligence in which he believes human beings are “wired to connect.” Experienced and trained coaches have witnessed how some businesses have put those in management roles into coaching roles without any extensive formal training on the coaching process less alone on emotional or social intelligences. Then those in executive leadership come to believe that coaching is not effective because their firms did not achieve the desired results.

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What this means is for those who are engaged in any coaching roles, they must be aware of these three intelligences within themselves. Possibly this lack of awareness is why coaching is not as successful for some as it is for others. Once executive coaches have clarity around their own intelligences and how those intelligences work together, then and only then can they take their practices to that next level as well as the results of their clients. Thousands of years ago, Socrates understood how to avoid the clash of these Qs through his three (3) filters: Is what you say kind? (Social intelligence) Is what you say truthful? (Intellectual intelligence) Is what you say necessary? (Emotional intelligence) Maybe we all would be better served by remembering Socrates three filters to help us avoid the clash of these three Qs in our coaching practices and daily interactions.

By trailblazing through conventional learning and business practices, heurist, writer and speaker Leanne Hoagland-Smith quickly demonstrates through ACEŠ how to advance people (talent) and operations (management) to that next generation of revenue growth for individuals and SMBs. She seeks forward thinkers who are stuck in the current status quo and want to stay ahead of the flow. Call her at 219.508.2859 CST or visit www.processspecalist.com to learn more. 7


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The 8Es of Leadership Development By Julia von Flotow

If the rate of change on the outside is greater than the rate of change on the inside, the end is near. Jack Welch

The ability to envision and inspire hope for a better future is the mark of a leader. Change is inevitable and unpredictable. We can expect the rate of change to increase exponentially as we move further into the 21st century. How do we prepare?

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Resilience, the ability to withstand shocks and adapt to changing conditions, is an attribute we may need to cultivate now, more than ever. Applied to ecosystems, and to integrated systems of people and the natural environment, resilience is the ability to respond positively to disturbance-driven change. To survive, leaders must recognise and balance the three characteristics of resilience - the amount of change the system can undergo and still retain the same controls on function and structure; the degree to which the system is capable of self-organisation; and the ability to build and increase the capacity for learning and adaptation(1)” Resilient leaders seek to understand the dynamic systems of interaction between people and their environment and to identify the resources and adaptive capacities a system can leverage to overcome vulnerabilities that may result from change(2); (1): http://www.resalliance.org/576.php, June 8, 2009 (2): Berkes, F. & Folke, C. (1998). Linking Social and Ecological Systems for resilience and sustainability. In Berkes, F., C. Folke, and J. Colding. (eds). Linking Social and Ecological Systems: Management Practices and Social Mechanisms for

Building Resilience, pp. 1–25. Cambridge University Press.

“Changing the world begins with the very personal process of changing yourself, the only place you can begin is where you are, and the only time you can begin is always now.” Gary Zukav

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It is in the moments where we are fully and actively present and attentive to whatever wants to emerge that leadership, in its truest sense, manifests…for leadership is situational. It is in these moments of inner stillness and attentiveness that create the conditions for fruitful dialogue, insightful and innovative ideas that can give rise to creative collaborations. The key leadership attribute is deep, active listening, without judgment…tuning in to self, to others and to the environmental context, in a mindful, unhurried way to cultivate a mindful and engaging, leadership presence.

The 8Es of the KAIZEN Leadership Development System provide a framework and an approach – a process, to cultivate resilient leaders. Evaluation - Taking Stock, Getting your Bearings, Assessing the Situation Evaluation is critical at the beginning, at the end of a cycle and parlays into process monitoring throughout. Insight is developed through experience and reflection of events and problems, their root causes and how to leverage them. The ability to evaluate without prejudice and with a clear perspective of what is being evaluated and why, ie. having a clear, unbiased understanding of the vision, is a prerequisite of resilient leadership.

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Sound evaluation processes cultivate the ability to be objective and impartial, with a commitment to manage by fact, rather than fiction or wishful thinking, by: • Identifying what's working well • identifying opportunities for improvement • Measuring results against expectations

Evaluation measures return on effort and return on investment, checks assumptions against results, assesses impact and validates the process to drive the kaizen, continuous improvement cycle. The process of evaluation is a function of management - making the most of available resources. The integrity applied to the evaluative process is prerequisite to sound leadership and ensures information is relevant (aligned with strategic direction), accurate and coherent.

There is the risk you cannot afford to take and there is the risk you cannot afford not to take. Peter Drucker

What we observe is not nature itself but nature exposed to our method of questioning. Fritjof Capra

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Engage - Gathering Information, Gaining Perspective, Inspiring Support The resilient leader recognises interdependence as fundamental. Diversity is valued and everyone is recognised as a valuable source of information, insight and perspective. Respect for people, time, resources, and value differences are demonstrated through effective meeting management and communications. The openness and transparency of the process provides for information sharing and a fuller understanding of challenges and opportunities to generate mutual understanding and respect. Those engaged at this stage are primed for further engagement in any or all of the subsequent processes – and recognised as a valuable and respected resource. The ability to engage others is an attribute of emotional intelligence and resilient leadership.

Leadership is deeply personal and inherently collective. That’s a paradox that effective leaders have to embrace. It does depend on them. It does depend on their convictions, their clarity, their personal commitment to their own cultivation. And on the other hand, it doesn’t depend on them. It’s an inherently collective phenomenon. Peter Senge

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Envision - Creating a Compelling Vision and Roadmap Aware of the internal and external context/situation (history and trends), the resilient leader envisions “what can be”, and creates an image of the ideal. A clear future vision, once created, is tested against the leader’s personal goals and objectives and presented to stakeholders for feedback and refinement. The leader’s vision sets the direction, identifies objectives and values, and gives rise to: • Mission or purpose, • Goals (measurable outcomes) and • Plan

Visions provide a framework for planning. Leadership embodies the mission in a multi-dimensional style, which infuses all organisational levels with the spirit of the mission that position achievement limited only by imagination. Alignment of a manager's personal vision and values with that of the organisation is known as "the fit".

If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them. Henry David Thoreau

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Enable - Creating Systems and Processes that Support Strategic Action The leader assembles the right people and necessary resources and ensures enabling processes and systems that promote productive action, are created and in place. This stage requires tough choices be made on approach, strategy and style for: •

organisational structure and processes

business and operating models

technology

marketing

production

Planning methods are designed to invite contributions from all stakeholders with dynamic and responsive communications systems designed to maintain effective dissemination of information and ensure engagement. Organisational structures are designed to promote effective networking and administrative processes, system-wide. People at all levels of the organisation are recognised to have valuable knowledge, experience and unique perspectives. Stakeholders accept ownership of the plans’ elements via regular communications and intentional conversations. Everyone understands their role in the organisation. Achievement and productivity is balanced with personal and professional development, creating the possibility for individual career development. Life-long learning and continuous improvement are shared values recognised as fundamental to cultivating resilient leadership.

People determine the performance capacity of an organisation. No organisation can do better than the people it has. Peter Drucker

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Empower - Creating a Culture of Trust, Openness and Mutual Respect Leaders build collaborative teams with shared values, and empower their people to work to their best. To do so, the leader clarifies: •

roles

relationships

standards of agreement, and

accountabilities.

Planning processes provide for measurement and feedback. The plans are iterative and well socialised which make them executable, focused, integrated, adaptive and flexible. People feel entrusted which frees them to take autonomous action and can be transformative in how they see themselves, instilling a sense of confidence that inspires and invigorates. Self-concepts can be positively affected by how effectively managers challenge their people to help them achieve and see themselves as increasingly competent. This shift in self perception is a source of courage which they can draw on for the rest of their careers as well as see their leaders as role models for their own behaviour. In an atmosphere where mistakes are treated as learning opportunities, people feel encouraged to take risks, test innovations and develop bold new initiatives unleashing creative energy.

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Free-flowing horizontal and vertical feedback and feed-forward communications enables exchange of information and ideas across all boundaries. The ability to empower is an attribute of emotional intelligence and strategic management.

Individual commitment to a group effort — that is what makes a team work, a company work, a society work, a civilisation work. Vince Lombardi

Execute - Managing the Process, Executing the Plan Responsive to Context Resilient leaders internalise and ground the vision to ensure the system sustains goal focus. The leader, attentive to the small things responds to abnormalities and shifting trends (context), internal dynamics and external stakeholder relations, balancing the various forces at play to further the enterprise. Teamwork is a powerful aspect of every organisation. Leaders working side by side with their people enable high quality, empowered teams. Personal interaction, respect, and honesty create conditions where traditional organisational boundaries are transcended. Team accomplishment leads to an increased sense of personal achievement, meaning, and contribution to a greater purpose.

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Acknowledging achievements helps the system stay process-focused and results oriented. Celebrating milestones and personal contributions builds commitment and honours its integrity, encouraging it to be open, alert to challenges and responsive to emerging opportunities. Leaders, striving for clarity and committed to seeking out transformational opportunities, both large and small, cultivate situational awareness. They engage their workforce through intentional conversations to do their best to eliminate waste, variation and overburden systematically, maintain and exceed standards to create best practices in a process of continuous improvement. Allocating resources, time, and subject-matter experts to share good ideas, leaders engage others and inspire possibility-thinking while recognising and rewarding innovators thereby cultivating the ability to adapt. Executing a vision is where leadership and management skills come together and a manager's capacity to lead and a leader's ability to manage is continually tested. Linking the impact of many small, practical improvements requires that the leader develop financial and operations management skills to bridge the gaps that may exist between production, marketing and business strategy.

Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal. Henry Ford

Institutions that endure thrive not because of one leader's charisma, but because they cultivate leadership throughout the system. Max Weber

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Energize - Integrating Feedback and Feeding it Forward, From Within and from Outside, to Nourish the System Leaders receive feedback from the emerging system, (their team) the context, through introspection and self reflection. Listening to, heeding and reflecting on feedback received, from the increasingly complex system, enables the leader to maintain its balance. In turn, the leader feeds forward relevant information gained, making necessary adjustments, and energising the people, the process and enhancing the system’s coherence and resonance – and inspiring a can-do/will do attitude and building commitment to action. People are energised and inspired when they see leaders taking time to notice their potential, and deliberately choose to coach, mentor or invest in their personal and professional development fostering higher personal investment, commitment and intrinsic motivation. As the system grows in dynamism, the connections between internal and external customer-supplier relationships become strengthened, through the energy of the system as a whole, and organisational resilience is enhanced. Giving people the opportunity to excel, a chance to make a contribution, creates a sense of personal meaning, a sense of belonging and higher purpose, and raises personal and professional standards.

Excellence is an art won by training and habituation. We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act, but a habit. Aristotle 19


Enlighten – Self mastery, authenticity and courage to lead and inspire others Nurturing the spark that catalysed the leadership journey, into controlled and self-directed passion, is a leadership process of self-mastery and authenticity – an evolutionary process of enhanced resilience attained through a conscious process of continuous improvement. Resilient leaders are systems-thinkers who see themselves in relation to others, themselves and their world. Motivated by enlightened self-interest and compassion they strive to balance the system, and in so doing, help others advance the careers and improve their lives. They recognise that developing leadership competencies in themselves and in others, is a process of self-directed discovery, transformation and personal development, human response to an ever-changing landscape, welcome it and support it in others, enthusiastically. Leadership is both a role and a process. We entrust those in leadership positions, who have power and authority, to act on behalf of the whole. How well are they doing? What are the performance indicators we apply to evaluate their performance? How effectively is their vision for the system you are a part of aligned with your own? What can I learn from my observations and experiences? The process of asking powerful questions and actively listening, engages the mind and leads to clarity and inspired action. Who am I? What do I want? What is my vision? What action can I take to realise it?

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Developing personal leadership potential is a choice. The impulse may be triggered by an external event or motivated by an inner compulsion and leads to a conscious process of transformation, personal growth and contribution. Resilient leaders are enlightened leaders, facilitating leadership development in others, is in their own enlightened selfinterest. Leadership is a role, a process and a practice.

Nobody can contribute to the best of humanity who does not make the best out of himself. Johann Gottfried Herder

And then again..

It is not necessary to change, survival is not mandatory. Edwards Deming

Julia von Flotow is an executive coach, mindfulness instructor and founder of the Kaizen Leadership Institute and Therapeutic Touch Institute, Toronto, Canada. Her 12 step program to becoming an authentic and mindful leader http://www.kaizenleadershipinstitute.com/12steps/ has helped hundreds of independent professionals and business owners live happier lives and build more sustainable businesses. www.kaizenleadershipinstitute.com . Enquire about the Integrative Self Health Coach certified training program and her 8 week online Mindfulness Practice Development Program. Connect with her on LinkedIn at http://ca.linkedin.com/in/juliavonflotow or email her at julia@kaizenleadershipinstitute.com.

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Coaching are tremendous, and they touch

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Get started As an ISHC practitioner, you will become an objective and compassionate coach who clients can trust to facilitate their healing. To request our complete information package, which includes a curriculum overview, course descriptions, pricing and more: kaizenleadershipinstitute.com info@kaizenleadershipinstitute.com or call 416 686 6463

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Toolkit An in-depth opinion about a gadget, device, strategy, etc. suggested as support for coaches to do their work even better.

By Lyn Christian MCC, CFCC, CCmBIT Coach

Being Smart With Your Emotional, Social And Conversational Intelligence® In this Coaching Toolkit, I tackle the question: How does one combine EQ, SQ and C-IQ (Conversational Intelligence®) in a leadership role? To make sure we’re all on the same track, let’s look at how Psychology Today defines Emotional Intelligence (EQ) and Social Intelligence (SQ): Being Smart About Feelings – What is Emotional Intelligence? What is Social Intelligence – Why Does It Matter?

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The first bit of advice I have for you (if you haven’t already) is read some of the groundbreaking EQ and SQ research that began to surface in the 1990’s. Below, you’ll find a few of my favourites. The first book I read on the topic of EQ is the seminal work by Daniel Goleman. I have to say, it’s still a classic in my library:
 Emotional Intelligence: Why it Can Matter More Than IQ The next two books are follow-ups to Goleman’s book. They provide a fresh and extended look at EQ and SQ with the added benefit of a read/assessment format: Emotional Intelligence 2.0 Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships Now, the final tool I would suggest combines the best brain science, neuro-chemistry and social science research to harness the power of conversation. It’s remarkable to see how Conversational Intelligence® (C-IQ) can influence successful leadership. Conversational Intelligence for Coaches

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I’m in the final days of completing a year of C-IQ training. I hope to be certified in this body of knowledge as the year ends. It’s been one of the most valuable pieces of training and certifications I’ve ever experienced. Genuine thought-leadership and alignment of principle to action are what you’ll find in founder Judith E. Glaser as well as in her coursework. I can’t recommend this learning track enough. If you truly want to know how to integrate EQ with IQ with SQ, become fluent in C-IQ. In my opinion, it’s that simple. © Lyn Christian

Lyn Christian has been called a “woman of courage” and “the coach’s coach.” She holds a degree in education from Brigham Young University, Master Coach Certification from the International Coach Federation, and coaching certificates from Franklin Covey and Marshall Goldsmith’s elite executive coach training. Lyn also is a CCmBIT coach. She is the founder of SoulSalt and can be reached here: lyn@soulsalt.com

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BE FOCUSED TO LIVE A SUCCESSFUL LIFE Research shows that we over estimate how quickly we can do tasks. It also tells us that our brain can indeed only focus on one thing at a time. Yet, how many of us go about our day, even our week without fully grasping the gravity of these two statements?  Everyday conversation includes chatter about how busy we are. But the deeper question in my mind is this: Is it really our goal to be busy or would it feel better to simply know that we are being productive? SoulSalt developed a course that will help you do just that! How can a course help you be more productive? Keep reading! 

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Pricing The Basic Membership: In her coaching practice, Lyn Christian helps people ‘BE FOCUSED’ and if you were to do this one on one you could get the training for $2500 or you can register for the BE FOCUSED course and get the same training for only $597. PLUS, because we believe in Worldwide Coaching Magazine's mission, you can save

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The VIP Membership: If you want to have special access to Lyn, you can register for the VIP Be Focused program, which gives you everything of the basic membership, PLUS:

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From all of us at WCM to all of youâ&#x20AC;¦

Merry Christmas and a very happy and successful 2018!

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Seven Myths About Coaching and The Truth Behind Them By Gemma Reeves

In the past personal coaching was not as popular as it is now. Currently, it makes about $1 billion a year and it says a lot about the increasing needs and demands for life coaches. The stress and pressure people get from their workspaces, homes, and even the everyday problems in their lives are accounted for this increase need for coaches.

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However, there are a few people who find this industry quite questionable and there are many outlandish remarks about it. One reason may be the large amount of money the industry makes. Another reason to point out may also be due to the inflow of individuals posing as life coaches, all because of the money they might get from the industry and not because they are qualified to do coaching.
 
 It will address 7 common myths about coaching and the truth behind these myths in this article.
 Coaching and mentoring are one and the same 
 Both coaching and mentoring use the same style and approach, the reason why many people think they are the same. The two, however, differ on the details and technicalities of their coverage and the goals for their clients. The following are the differences:
 
 Coaching is short-term while mentoring is long-term Coaching is more structured with it being more goal-oriented and meetings are scheduled regularly. Mentoring is less formal with meetings depending on the mentee. Coaches are not necessarily required to have the same experience as that of the client, unless it is defined at the beginning or that it is the goal of the coaching sessions. 31


On the other hand, mentors are usually people who have a richer experience or background than that of the client or mentee. In coaching, clients are aided in improving awareness to improve performance. While mentoring is focused on positively shaping the ideals and beliefs of a mentee.
 
 Coaches are also therapists This misconception about coaching lead individuals who have issues regarding their past, which are keeping them from moving forward. It is important to make it clear that coaching is focused in building the future and not healing the past. Coaching can only be successful if the client is willing and able.
 
 Coaching is not for successful individuals Contrary to what many believe about coaching is that it is not very well adapted by some someone performing poorly. Coaching cannot be used as a last resort to “save” a person who desperately need help. Coaching help support good and best performers to do even better. Individuals who want to push themselves higher than where they are turn to coaching for support. Leaders who are taking on a new, more challenging task with even bigger responsibilities use coaching.

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The coaching industry is also used by individuals who seem to be “stuck” at a predicament or important issues in their jobs or situations and can’t seem to find a way out. 32


It’s too expensive 
 It is undeniable that coaching is not for free. However, to know if the cost is just right or way too pricey, let’s do some comparison. Trainings and seminars often take place outside your office or city. When you’re traveling, you will need travel allowance, hotel accommodation, the training or seminar fee – and these are just the basic things companies or people pay for such events. Additionally, who gets your job done when you are away? Is it not something that could take your concentration away from what you are supposed to be focusing at?
 
 With coaching, there will be no more need for you to get out of the office. Sessions are also time -bound and are scheduled depending on you. An hour a day for a number of months won’t be hurting your pocket and tour time. Although training and coaching play important roles in self-development and productivity, if you have to choose between the two, coaching is definitely less costly.
 
 Coaching is only for women 
 This myth must come from the female-lead and -centered coaching groups where they use the social media as their marketing platform. Their marketing strategy focuses on female empowerment.

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In general, coaching approaches vary in different levels and strategies. In this case, they want to promote woman-woman coaching environment. Although coaching, in general, may incorporate the strategies this women-centered coaching are using, but the proper coaching is not limited to helping women, but all sexes who are willing to be coached.â&#x20AC;¨ Coaches only want their clients to be like them Some client misinterpret the way some clients carry themselves and instead of looking up to the happy and thriving image their coaches present, they feel pressured. Coaches take that approach to give their clients the assurance that they know what they are doing and they are very reliable. It will be an injustice to their field of expertise if they downplay their look and aura just for the comfortâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sake of their client. However a great coach is wide-minded about what success is and its variations. The coach is merely an example of a kind of success, and not the definite image of it.â&#x20AC;¨

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The career coach has to be an expert in your field of profession 
 Coaching is aimed at helping individuals make positive turns in their lives. Having a positive approach outlook and perspective affects the different aspects in their lives, including their jobs. Effective coaching is achieved when the client is committed to improve his personal growth and widen his learnings that focused at excelling on one career field. However, many coaches also have a wide network of fellow coaches and specific-industry experts so prepare themselves when the need for these people arise.
 
 All of us need coaching, but not all of us are welcome to the idea. If you think you are ready to see a better you in everything, don’t hesitate to see a coach.

Gemma Reeves is a seasoned writer who enjoys creating helpful articles and interesting stories. She has worked with several clients across different industries such as advertising, online marketing, technology, healthcare, family matters, and more. She is also an aspiring entrepreneur who is engaged in assisting other aspiring entrepreneurs in finding the best office space for their business. Check out her company here: FindMyWorkspace 35


www.centerfortransformationalcoaching.com/dci-italy 36


The Linguistic Origins of Mentoring By Prof. David Clutterbuck

An eminent US scholar in mentoring recently said at a conference “There is no such word as mentee!”, arguing instead for the word protégé. By the same logic, of course, there is no such word as protégé (French, from which it might be presumed to have originated, has a verb, protégér, from which come protecteur and protectrice, but no noun for the person being protected.) 37


In reality, of course, words become real when they are accepted and used, either generally or within a specific context – regardless of their origin or “legitimacy” (the assumptions people make and try to impose about the rules of language, often based on misunderstanding of how language evolves). Another acid test is “Is it in the dictionary?” – which both mentee and protégé are. Equally, a concept typically does not exist until we have words to describe it. Some isolated tribes have no concept of mathematics, because their language has only one, two and many. The evolution of word and meaning is a circular, systemic process, not a linear one! The word mentor as a noun comes from the generalisation of the characteristics of Mentor, in the Odyssey, when he was impersonated by Athena, the goddess of wisdom. In English, nouns frequently become verbs and vice versa (for example, to boycott). When and where the word mentor first became used as a noun is unclear, but its usefulness is such that it rapidly became accepted. Linguistic pedants might say it should have been Mentoror – but that was never going to fly! Both that and the word mentoree, an attempt to follow perceived grammatical rules for converting verbs to nouns, failed to gain traction, because they break one of the practical rules of linguistic development – the instinct to simplify.

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Mentee evolved as the foil to mentor – an obvious if not grammatically correct comparator. It also has symmetry with the origins of Mentor, the character, where the element “ment” means mind, thinking, or reflection (as in the English word mental). So, a mentor is someone, who stimulates another to think; and a mentee is someone, who is helped to think. This modern concept of a mentor comes not from Ancient Greece, however, but from the dialogues between Athena/Mentor and Telemachus written by the 18th century French cleric Fenelon, whose writings can be seen as the starting point for all modern literature and thinking on leadership development.

John Flaxman (1755–1826): Athena, in the shape of Mentor, and Telemachus

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But language continues to evolve and words, which have a positive meaning in one culture or context, can have a neutral or negative connotation in another. They also change in meaning as they are co-opted for different purposes (the word “gay” is a classic example). There are therefore no “correct” words to describe the mentoring relationship – only words that are convenient within a particular social context at a particular time. And these words may themselves only be temporarily useful, because changing context will require them to adapt or die. Such is the story of language and its role in evolving human thought!

Professor David Clutterbuck is a leading international

authority on leadership and developmental dialogue. David is visiting professor at the Mentoring and Coaching Research Group, Sheffield Hallam University (MCRG), at the coaching and mentoring faculty of Oxford Brookes University, and at York St John University. Blogsite: davidclutterbuck.wordpress.com E-mail: david@davidclutterbuckpartnership.com Website: www.davidclutterbuckpartnership.com

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This will elevate your coaching in 2018 Did you enjoy the live immersion training with Dr. David Drake? I’ve already spoken to countless colleagues who have shared with me that this workshop was an experience that has changed their coaching practice! For me personally, the session was absolutely profound as well. Here’s a quick overview of some of the valuable insights I took away from it: • How important it is to be aware of what your own triggers are, and how to find them -- so you can help your clients do the same. • How you can learn to listen to the story a client is telling you about their situation and how you can help them “rewind” this to choose a better response. • Why creating pivots and choosing new responses in the present is much more effective than setting future goals as a structure for success. Join me 41


The full Narrative Coach program is launching in January, and I honestly can’t wait to dive deeper into this material! As spots are limited and filling up quickly, I wanted to encourage you to join me and reserve your place in the program. You can take advantage of this deal to join the most impactful coaching program of 2018 at 50% off -- but only until December 7th! Are you joining me? Expect your outlook on coaching to change forever,

Click here to learn more about Narrative Coach and save $1,500 on your investment. I can’t wait to see you there!

Cheers, Ton de Graaf, Chartered Business Coach™ Publisher and Editor-in-Chief

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â&#x20AC;&#x153;The body heals with play, the mind heals with laughter and the spirit heals with joyâ&#x20AC;?

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Let’s Talk mQ the Multiple Intelligences Required in Leadership By Suzanne Henwood and Grant Soosalu

“The good leaders are the ones who are comfortable in their own skins. They understand what they are about — they understand their purpose in life and their strengths. They have a level of comfort with themselves that leads to a level of comfort with others.” – Dan Pink 44


Leadership is complex and it is clear that preferred styles and the need for different forms of leadership have changed over time. In our current VUCA (Volatile, Uncertain, Complex, Ambiguous) environment we are being called to look deeply at the sort of leadership required for taking us forward into the unknown territory of exponential change that lies ahead. Informed by the latest emerging neuroscience, and our burgeoning knowledge about the multiple brains (head, heart, gut, autonomic), along with new data on embodied cognition and interoceptive (inner) wisdom now available to us, we would like to propose the need for multiple forms of intelligence (mQ) in leadership. The science is clear, leaders have multiple intelligences they can draw on if they know how to access them:

IQ + EQ + HQ + SQx2 + GQ + BQ + PQ x2 + AQ = Being a Whole Leader mQ

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The foundation of IQ Let’s start with the obvious – IQ – Intelligence Quotient IQ is “an assessment of your ability to think and reason”, claimed by some to be “a measure of your intelligence” and is moderated for age, comparing you to others in your age group. We would debate that intelligence is so much more than this measure – and that IQ is not the same as intelligence in agreement with some other authors: “Intelligence and IQ are not the same thing. Your IQ is a measurement (a number) of the 'intelligence' trait that each and everyone has to a greater or lesser degree in comparison with others.” It is clear that there needs to be a degree of IQ to be a great leader – to know what you are doing in your field, to be able to weigh up evidence and stay ahead of the changes, which are coming thick and fast. It’s a basic foundation which we cannot do without – but it is not the sole measure or sole requirement for taking us into the future of work. For us, intelligence can be more wisely defined as “the ability to adapt and thrive in your environment” and this requires far more integrative intelligence-ing skills than mere IQ.

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What about EQ? “Peter Salovey and John D. Mayer coined the term 'Emotional Intelligence' in 1990” and it has been popularised by Daniel Goleman and others, so that it is now pretty well accepted that EQ is a core skill in leadership. Andrea Ovans in Harvard Business Review described EQ as: “Emotional intelligence is the ability to accurately perceive your own and others’ emotions; to understand the signals that emotions send about relationships; and to manage your own and others’ emotions”

She goes so far as to say: “The most effective leaders are all alike in one crucial way: they all have a high degree of what has come to be known as emotional intelligence… My research, along with other recent studies, clearly shows that emotional intelligence is the sine qua non of leadership.”

In mBraining, we would go even further and say that whole heart intelligence (HQ) is more than just the emotional component and also includes relational affect (which may align to Social Intelligence – SQ1) and values (the three prime functions of the heart as outlined in Soosalu and Oka, 2012).

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SQ – Social Intelligence or Spiritual Intelligence. There are two SQs discussed in Intelligence literature. SQ1: Social intelligence is the ability to understand, manage, and navigate complex social networks. It is also called ‘interpersonal intelligence.’ Goleman (2008) stated that “I’ve long argued that outstanding leadership requires a combination of self-mastery and social intelligence” and the paradigm shift in leadership from ‘knowledge is power’ to ‘relationship is power’ further confirms the need for social intelligence in today’s leaders. SQ2: Spiritual intelligence is defined as “the adaptive use of spiritual information to facilitate everyday problem solving and goal attainment" (Emmons, 2000). Wigglesworth (2012) claims that “Spiritual intelligence is an essential component of both personal and professional development. With SQ we access the voice of our noblest self — our higher self — and let it drive our lives … We do the spiritual weightlifting to develop a deep inner self-awareness and compassion for the world around us”. SQ2 is all about transformation, about bringing the human spirit alive and asking deep ‘why?’ questions: “The spiritualist has the power to question on a deeper level – who am I, what are my needs, what goals should I be pursuing, and what will really make me happy”. Great leaders ask great questions and avoid actively pursuing things without consideration of appropriateness and consequences. Instead asking ‘is this of worth’? in prioritising where to invest sparse resources. 48


GQ – Gut Intelligence This is another key Intelligence Quotient we believe is essential and that arises from the work of mBraining. Around the 3 Prime Functions of the Gut Brain this would include having: • A core sense of Identity and knowing who you are as a leader • Safety and self-preservation and the ability to keep yourself and others safe • Mobilisation and the ability to motivate self and others to get things done. Ensuring gut intelligence is involved will enable optimal and integrated performance in leadership. BQ – Body Intelligence – embodied cognition A new field based on the work of authors and researchers such as Antonio Damasio (The Feeling of What Happens: Body and Emotion in the Making of Consciousness 2010) and Bud Craig (How Do You Feel?: An Interoceptive Moment with Your Neurobiological Self) explores the wisdom held within the body and in particular within the Autonomic Nervous System (ANS). Current findings are showing that the ANS learns, has memory, does complex processing and evidences higher-order conditioning. We’ll come back to this as an intelligence in its own right below.

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Experience over time, especially when linked with strong emotion, can lead to “feelings of knowing” in the body itself which contributes to deep gut and body feeling or intuition, which is then processed in the insular cortex in the head-brain. Leaders can make valuable use of this knowing to inform wise decision making, especially in VUCA times, when not everything is known or knowable in the environment in which they are working. PQ Positive Quotient or Physical Quotient PQ1 – Positive Intelligence is based on Shirzad Chamine’s work and is “the percentage of time your mind is serving you as opposed to sabotaging you. Your PQ indicates how much mastery you have over your own mind”. It is easy to make links as to how this would be valuable to leaders and correlates well with the work on learned optimism (from Positive Psychology) and meta cognition (thinking about thinking) that can assist leaders to wisely think through what they really know and ensure they are not self sabotaging through negative and unresourceful thinking patterns.

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PQ2 – Physical Intelligence PQ2 is a less familiar term, yet linked to health and wellbeing as a core skill in leadership. With stress and burnout at record levels, the need to look after ourselves physically is vital to sustainability as a leader. Wigglesworth (2012) defines PQ as the awareness of body and the skilful use of our bodies in practice. She states that “a simple example of poor PQ is allowing yourself to be continually sleep-deprived. Mental, emotional, and spiritual functioning diminishes along with stamina and health”. PQ2 is essential , then for all leaders yet we suggest is an area often neglected in the busy-ness of everyday. And obviously PQ2 has strong links to BQ. AQ – Autonomic Intelligence Finally, though by no means of any less importance is Autonomic Intelligence. We are only just beginning to understand the Autonomic Nervous System (ANS) and its impact on control, internal communication, stabilisation and direction of attention. From the literature to date it is likely that a lack of autonomic intelligence will result in leaders being unable to stabilise themselves over time and across contexts. Dr. Stephen Porges, in his work on Polyvagal Theory says that our ANS provides what he calls ‘Neuroception’ or a 6-th sense – an ability to monitor the environment for subtle safety and energy cues. 51


What does this all mean for Leadership? Not only is the world getting more complex, but so is what we know about us as humans. Expectations are rising. For example in business Pink says: “Companies have to offer significance above and beyond product value” and that there is a “premium on aesthetic, emotional, and even spiritual aspects of goods and services” We believe this opens up a valuable role for coaches (especially those trained in using their multiple brains) in leadership as leaders embrace the need to be even more self aware of their multiple intelligences. As individuals and within companies, leaders are searching for deeper meaning, with many looking for different ways to lead and serve.

We believe that this requires deep guided self reflection and interoception across all of the brains – preferably with the support of someone who understands the wide range of Intelligence Quotients (mQ), to give a holistic, authentic perspective of themselves as an exquisite leader.

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Without a deep integration of all of the intelligences, it is unlikely leaders will achieve their best and highest selves, and will be unable to offer the best possible service.

To lead with wisdom and to truly bring the human spirit alive in themselves, their organisations and in those they serve, leaders need to embrace all their multiple intelligences in a generative and scientifically guided way.

References Emmons, RA, (2000). Spirituality and intelligence: Problems and prospects. The International Journal for the Psychology of Religion, 10(1), 57-64 Soosalu, G and Oka, M (2012) mBraining: Using your multiple brains to do cool stuff, Create Space Wigglesworth, C (2012) Spiritual Intelligence: Living as Your Higher Self https://www.huffingtonpost.com/cindy-wigglesworth/spiritual-intelligence_b_1752145.html

Grant Soosalu (M.App.Sc., B.Sc.(Hons), Grad. Dip. Psych, NLP Master Practitioner, Certified Master Behavioral Modeler)

Grant Soosalu is an international leadership consultant, trainer and writer with backgrounds and expertise in Leadership, Coaching, Psychology, NLP, Behavioral Modeling and Applied Physics. More info: http://www.mbraining.com Grant can be reached at grantsoosalu@gmail.com

Dr. Suzanne Henwood is an mBraining Master Coach and Master

Trainer, as well as being an NLP trainer, Mindfulness Facilitator and Map of Meaning Facilitator. She is the Director of her own company (mBraining4Success) and is the CEO of The Healthy Workplace, a joint venture with a mission to change how we lead and do work globally - to bring humanity into the workplace. Suzanne has a special interest in Leadership and Stress as two key areas for coaching transformation. Suzanne can be reached here: suzanne@mbraining4success.com

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Your WCM team:

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Worldwide Coaching Magazine

Ton de Graaf is one of the very few executive coaches in the world who is designated by the Worldwide Association of Business Coaches as a Chartered Business Coach™ (ChBC™). He is the owner of Quest Coaching Netherlands and the publisher and editor-in-chief of the Worldwide Coaching Magazine. He coaches and inspires the next generation of international corporate leaders across the globe. He can be reached here: editor@worldwidecoachingmagazine.com or visit: www.tondegraaf.com

Leon VanderPol is the founder of the Center for Transformational Coaching.

He is the creator of the Deep Coaching Intensive coach training program, a personal and professional development program designed to help coaches and holistic practitioners have the depth of skill needed to support people through periods of inner transformation and awakening. Visit him at www.centerfortransformationalcoaching.com to learn more about this life-changing program.

Julia von Flotow is an executive coach, mindfulness instructor, executive coach and founder of the Kaizen Leadership Institute, Toronto, Canada.

Her 12 step program to becoming an authentic and mindful leader has helped hundreds of independent professionals and business owners live happier lives and build more sustainable businesses. More info: www.kaizenleadershipinstitute.com or E-mail Julia

Lyn Christian

has been called a “woman of courage” and “the coach’s coach.” She holds a degree in education from Brigham Young University, Master Coach Certification from the International Coach Federation, and coaching certificates from Franklin Covey and Marshall Goldsmith’s elite executive coach training. Lyn also is a CCmBIT coach. She is the founder of SoulSalt and can be reached here: lyn@soulsalt.com

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By trailblazing through conventional learning and business practices, heurist, writer and speaker Leanne Hoagland-Smith quickly demonstrates through ACE© how to advance people (talent) and operations (management) to that next generation of revenue growth for individuals and SMBs. She seeks forward thinkers who are stuck in the current status quo and want to stay ahead of the flow. Call her at 219.508.2859 CST or visit www.processspecalist.com to learn more.

Professor David Clutterbuck is a leading international authority on leadership and developmental dialogue. David is visiting professor at the Mentoring and Coaching Research Group, Sheffield Hallam University (MCRG), at the coaching and mentoring faculty of Oxford Brookes University, and at York St John University. Blogsite: davidclutterbuck.wordpress.com E-mail: david@davidclutterbuckpartnership.com Website: www.davidclutterbuckpartnership.com

Grant Soosalu

(M.App.Sc., B.Sc.(Hons), Grad. Dip. Psych, NLP Master Practitioner, Certified Master Behavioral Modeler) Grant Soosalu is an international leadership consultant, trainer and writer with backgrounds and expertise in Leadership, Coaching, Psychology, NLP, Behavioral Modeling and Applied Physics. More info: http://www.mbraining.com Grant can be reached at grantsoosalu@gmail.com

Dr Suzanne Henwood

is an mBraining Master Coach and Master Trainer, as well as being an NLP trainer, Mindfulness Facilitator and Map of Meaning Facilitator. She is the Director of her own company (mBraining4Success) and is the CEO of The Healthy Workplace, a joint venture with a mission to change how we lead and do work globally - to bring humanity into the workplace. Suzanne has a special interest in Leadership and Stress as two key areas for coaching transformation. Suzanne can be reached here: shenwood@unitec.ac.nz

Patricia Wheeler is Managing Partner of The Levin Group, a global

leadership advisory firm. With more than 25 years of coaching and consulting experience, she works with leaders around the world who must innovate and deliver exceptional business results within an environment of rapid change and increasing complexity. She is a contributor to Best Practices in Organizational Development, the AMA Handbook of Leadership and Coaching For Leadership: Third Edition. You can contact Patricia here: patricia@thelevingroup.com 56

Emotional Intelligence  
Emotional Intelligence  

Emotional Intelligence, how to combine EQ, IQ, and SQ in a leadership role.